Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to All About
Hair, the podcast for anyone who
loves the hair industry.
I'm your host, Denise Kylitz, aformer stylist educator and
owner of four award-winningsalons with over 30 years of
experience.
Whether you're refining yourskills or expanding your hair
knowledge, you're in the rightplace.
Join me for expert tips,industry insights and practical
(00:25):
advice to help you thrive in theworld of hair.
This is all about hair.
I get a lot of questions aboutgray hair and let's talk about
how to wear gray hair withoutlooking older.
I know when COVID was around andwe couldn't get to the salon,
right, A lot of you might'vegrown out your gray hair.
(00:46):
I know my sister did my um, afew of my friends did, because
they couldn't get there to gettheir hair touched up and, um,
it actually spawned a movement,if you will, within our industry
about how to take women grayand, believe it or not, it's a
lot harder than you might think.
(01:07):
My sister, after they liftedall of the restraints with COVID
, she came to my salon and weshe had probably had three
inches of regrowth, I think, andum, she was blonde before and
so we had her.
It took about three times butwe did get her gray gray looking
(01:27):
.
She has since cut her hair offbut and she wears it beautifully
and she is still gray.
And there's all kinds of thingsabout going gray.
You know finding the perfectpurple shampoo to keep the
yellow out, how to keep thattone, but today we're just going
to talk about what causes grayhair.
What can you do to embrace grayhair?
(01:50):
If that's what you prefer to do, then you can look forward to
other podcasts and conversationsabout gray hair.
And if you have any questionsabout going gray or maybe what
to ask your stylist how to askyour stylist about going gray
reach out to me and I can answersome of your questions about
(02:13):
going gray.
What to ask for you do not haveto strictly go with
highlighting.
You can do gray blending.
A lot of people don't even knowwhat that is, but I should do a
video on that.
My mother-in-law I do her hairabout every six weeks and we do
gray blending on her and it isjust a really nice way of
(02:34):
putting a semi or ademi-permanent color on and it
just gradually wears off.
So you don't have that highmaintenance hard demarcation
line that you get with permanenthair color.
It doesn't cover completely allyour grays.
In fact it gives more of ablending, but it gives you just
that beige tone that reallylooks good with our skin tone
(02:55):
once it changes.
Anyway, I'm getting way aheadof myself, so let's get back to
the podcast, shall we?
Okay?
How to wear gray hair withoutlooking older.
Yeah, Gray hair does not haveto make you look old.
Have you seen these 20 and 30year olds sporting gray hair?
I tell you, Anyway, there's nodenying that our hairstyle can
(03:20):
play a huge part in how old welook, and you know there used to
be lots of rules dictating hairlength, meaning the older we
get, we had to cut our hairshort or we definitely couldn't
wear long hair, for goodnesssakes.
But you know the rules don'tapply like that anymore.
(03:40):
We are going through a lot oflike hormonal and biological
changes in our bodies, and thatdoes affect how our hair looks
and how it feels.
Have you noticed that, Justupdating your hair, you don't
have to chop it all off, Okay,and you don't have to cover
every single gray hair that youhave on your head?
(04:01):
You can actually embrace thischange and let your hair color
evolve over time and justestablish a gentler hair care
routine.
Cause really what your.
Your goal should be is just getyour hair looking healthy,
glossy, shiny.
That's what you want.
You want to make sure it looksgood on you and with your skin
(04:23):
tone, eye color, all that goodstuff.
My biggest thing would be justopen up to new ideas, your hair
color and your cut.
If it's fresh and it's done foryour face shape and your
personal style, it's alwaysgoing to look more youthful.
I know that we tend to sometimeshang on to what used to make us
(04:44):
feel pretty.
Usually, when we were in our20s and 30s, most of us would
say, yeah, I was in my prime, Ifelt good, but don't continue
wearing that hairstyle that youhad when you were in 30s or 20s.
Okay, you need a freshhairstyle, because if you're
still wearing that hairstylethat you had 20 years ago, I can
(05:07):
probably guarantee you it looksdated.
Sorry, it's not as hard as youmight think to to go with gray
hair.
There's a lot of people rockinggray hair right now.
It's not too bad, you know.
Have you seen Helen Mirrenlately?
My goodness, she's beautiful.
Anyway, let's start with whydoes your hair turn gray in the
(05:31):
first place?
Now, there's all kinds ofreasons why, but we're just
going to look at the top fivereasons.
Okay, Really, the main reasonit turns gray is a decline in
melanin production.
Yeah, there's actually thesethings in your hair that produce
melanin.
That's the color of your hairthat depends on if you're brown,
(05:52):
blonde, black hair, Okay andthere's a decline in the
production of these littlemolecules.
That's really why your haircolor is turning gray.
Scientifically, in layman terms, we can break it down.
I could show you all the slidesand all that stuff and really
give you all the chemical namesand all that.
(06:12):
If you want that, reach out tome.
If you want that, I'll let youknow that.
But most of us just need toknow that it's the melanin in
our hair that's decreasing andthat's why we're turning gray.
Okay, Not much you could doabout that.
Number two reason is genetics,your family history.
It strongly influences when andhow quickly you will turn gray.
(06:35):
If your parents or yourgrandparents experienced early
grain, there's a higherlikelihood that you might, too,
Keep that in consideration.
Number three likelihood thatyou might, too, Keep that in
consideration.
Number three oxidative stress.
And what is that?
It's like pollution or UV rays.
Yeah, it contributes to grainover time.
Number four nutrient deficiency.
(07:01):
If you're not putting in theproper vitamins in your body,
it's going to affect not onlyall your health but your hair
too.
So a lack of essential vitaminsand minerals like B vitamins,
copper and iron, that can reallyimpact your hair health and it
can contribute to prematureaging or graying Aging too, I
guess.
And then there's hormonalchanges.
We're all going throughhormonal changes.
(07:23):
We're at that age, okay.
Changes we're all going throughhormonal changes, we're at that
age, Okay.
But, but especially likemenopause, it can affect melanin
production and it leads to grayhair.
Again, a lot of this we can'tdo much about.
Okay, so we can only controlwhat we can control when, what
is that?
Our mindset, how we rock thegray hair and what are we going
(07:45):
to do about it?
All right, so as for yourhaircut, just simple tweaks can
be that all that's needed.
Okay, you might switch yourhair care routine at home, maybe
for your hair thinning or ifyou've noticed that your hair
has gotten drier after menopause, which is a thing,
unfortunately.
You can do some little minortweaks at home for your haircare
(08:06):
routine, but ask your stylistfor a softer haircut, and we'll
get to that in just a second.
Number one let's keep your colorsoft.
The key to keeping color freshas we age is softness, and what
do I mean by that?
You don't want that solid rootto tip color.
It's almost always too harshfor us.
(08:27):
Okay, and what I mean is likeif you're doing your hair color
at home and you're doing a boxcolor, that's what we call it
box color.
Usually what you find thatyou're doing at home is you're
putting it on your roots, butthen you're putting it all over.
I mean, I've talked to many,many women that they put it all
(08:51):
over all the time because that'swhat the instructions say to do
.
Well, those instructions saythat because they want you to
cover up all your gray and theydon't want to hear from you
saying that, hey, it didn'tcover my gray, so they're
selling you to keep covering allyour hair.
Or if it doesn't say that andit says, just put it on the
roots, Typically what happens iswhen you're doing your hair
(09:14):
color at home, you can't see theback, so you give up and you
just like, oh, screw it, I'mjust going to put it all over.
What happens is, over time, youput it layer on top of layer on
top of layer and you come upwith this very opaque, harsh
hair color that has no dimensionwhatsoever and that's not how
(09:36):
hair looks.
Hair has so many different,multifaceted colors in there.
Not every strand is the same.
So even if you look at someoneand they look like they have
really dark hair, if you reallyget in there their hair strands
are not all the same color.
That's a long way around sayingif you're coloring your hair at
(09:58):
home, you should only be doingthe roots.
Okay.
What I used to always suggestis, if you're coloring your hair
at home because of time orconvenience or money, about
every third time I would go inand have your stylist color it
for you.
That way they can look in theback and they can make sure
everything's being covered, butthen also they can break up some
(10:20):
of those lines that you'veadded in there.
Break up some of those linesthat you've added in there.
You know we've all done it.
So if you are at the salon andyou don't color your hair at
home, one thing that you can askfor is to get balayage.
That is the new term forpainting hair color onto the
hair.
This is a wonderful techniquebecause it's soft.
(10:41):
It makes it look verymulti-tonal.
It's really in right now.
It's very low maintenance.
You don't really have to worryabout getting it done every
single time.
Now, if you have full graycoming in, you might go in and
get your roots done, but thenyou get your balayage done like
every third time.
This again saves time and money, because it does cost a lot of
(11:04):
money to to get your haircolored at a salon.
If you have a good colorist ora good stylist, they'll make
sure that your hair color iskept soft.
Okay, and speaking of themulti-tonal hair color, if you
see, you know your roots growingin, don't panic.
Actually, darker roots rightnow would make your hair color
(11:26):
look more modern.
I know, Can you believe it?
Darker roots especially ifthey're darker than the rest of
your hair color, like if youhave gray or if you have dark
blonde hair it actually looksvery intentionally done.
So keep that in mind.
Don't panic the first time youhave roots coming in.
And also bear in mind that yourhighlights and your balayage
(11:47):
they don't need to be uniformlyapplied either.
Okay, Gone are the times stillout there.
Highlights I mean, we're evenlyspaced.
Highlights are still around,Don't get me wrong.
But this balayage and a coupleof face framing wrong, but this
balayage and a couple of faceframing highlights that don't
even go all the way up to theroot.
(12:08):
Actually, that's really reallybeautiful.
Right now I know it's a littlebit different than what we've
grown up with, but it's abeautiful and it's just it's low
maintenance, it's easier onyour checkbook.
Checkbook there we go.
Do you even carry a checkbook?
I don't even carry a checkbook.
All right, it's easier on yourbank balance and you have less
(12:31):
time in the salon chair.
So, hey, there's a lot to love,right.
And it's a more relaxedapproach to hair color, All
right.
Number two I know I spent a lotof time on that softer hair
color.
It's a big thing, right.
Number two avoid severe cuts.
And what do I mean by that?
A softer haircut.
A softer haircut can instantlylift the face and look
(12:53):
incredibly modern.
As we get older, that means youwant softer, layered styles.
You don't really want a blunthaircut.
You know, like those blunt bobs.
Blunt bob doesn't have anylayering and it can look really
severe.
As we age, we lose thatplumpness in our face and our
(13:13):
face shape starts looking alittle bit more angular, and so
if you have these severehairstyles with angles, it could
really have an aging effect.
So softer styling and softerhaircuts, lots more layers,
especially around the face, andalso work with your natural hair
texture.
This can create like an undonefeel.
(13:35):
Texture is really in right nowand with that texture you get
movement, makes your hair lookthicker.
I know when I wear my haircurly, my hair does look thicker
than it does when I round brushit out.
If you do have hair like thatand you want to round brush it
out and you still have full hair, don't go overboard with the
(13:55):
backcombing and your volumizingproducts, because the last thing
you want is your hair to looklike a helmet.
And if you put too muchbackcombing or too much products
in there and your hair's notmoving around, it starts making
your hair look well too done andit also causes your hair to
become dry and brittle, andthose are two issues we already
(14:17):
have as we get older with ourhair.
So take a break from the hottools every now and again too,
because, as with the overstyling, it can damage your hair
, and older hair is really morevulnerable to breakage because
it loses its elasticity likeeverything else.
Right, Our skin, our hair, Itell you, that list just keeps
getting longer and longer.
(14:38):
So maintaining the healthycondition of your hair is king
and we will get to that Allright.
Number three when you're at thesalon, ask your stylist for a
toner.
You don't have to get itcompletely all colored, you
don't need a root touch up, Justask for a toner.
A couple of reasons why Yellowtones in the hair can look
(15:01):
brassy and old fashioned.
And we pick up yellow tones inour hair just by oxidation,
meaning your cuticle is wideopen, you're losing color
molecules and it turns yellow.
It could be caused bypollutants in the air if you
smoke things like that.
So whenever you're at the salon, ask your colorist just to use
(15:21):
a toner.
It's going to make your hairlook shinier, it's going to add
depth and it'll make your hairlook brighter, healthier and
more vibrant.
So if you have yellow in yourhair and you want that tone of
that cool hair color and cool ifyou think of winter tones,
meaning blue, purple, icy, kindof that's cool, Okay In hair
(15:45):
terms.
So you would want your stylistto use like an ash or a silver
or platinum toner and then youwould want to use a silver or
purple shampoo at home.
But sometimes you don't need tocool down your hair, you might
need to warm it up just a littlebit.
It happens all the time.
Say, you've just grown out yourgray hair and it took you all
this time to grow it out andyou're still not.
(16:07):
You're like what's wrong withit.
It could be that the tone ofyour gray hair is not going with
your skin tone and it's notlike you need to add yellow to
your hair.
You don't need to have goldenhair.
You just need to put like a alittle bit of warmth.
And it's just a toner that hasjust a little bit of warmth, not
too cool, not too warm.
(16:28):
I always say a nice beige workswonders because it actually
blends our skin tone.
It really does go with matureskin tone a lot better.
Even if you're toning your hair, say you like myself, I have
brown hair and I use a beigetoner because I need just a hint
of warmth to that, even thoughI have warm tones in my hair.
(16:50):
Also, keep in mind that adeeper tone makes your hair look
shinier.
So what do I mean by that?
Brown should be rich andchocolatey.
Reds and coppers should be deepbut not too bold.
You don't want it to lookcartoonish.
And if you're going for gold,color should be sophisticated
and warm.
Keep an eye out for brassiness.
(17:12):
You don't want brassiness?
Okay, and you know whatbrassiness is right?
And if not, go watch my videoon why does your hair color turn
brassy.
I've got many, many examples.
Okay, Um, all right.
Number four embrace long hair.
Yeah, I said it right.
There is no reason why olderwomen shouldn't have long hair.
(17:34):
Fashion really has no age limitand women can look absolutely
amazing with longer links.
The only caveat is making surethat your hair quality and the
density supports a longer style.
What do I mean by that?
Okay, I love long hair, love iton me, but my hair is getting
(17:55):
thinner and so when it gets to acertain point and it just looks
thin, so I I find that thatcollarbone length it's still
past my shoulders.
It's not a bob, but it's rightat the collarbone.
It's still long enough to getup in a ponytail.
It's long enough to be I don'tknow make me feel like it's long
hair.
(18:15):
That's about the right lengthfor me to make my hair still
feel like it's got some volume.
Keep that in mind but say youwant long hair and you've tried
growing your hair and it.
Maybe it's finer, maybe it's onthe thinner side, like mine.
Guess what?
There's so many products outthere right now.
(18:36):
Yes, you can take supplementsand it can help promote growth
and keep your hair healthy.
I know one that I used to takeis Viviscal.
They've got one.
You could pick it up, like atUlta, or they might even have it
at Walmart, I don't know.
So say you want to try golonger or you just need a little
bit more thickness on the sides, like right around our ears.
(18:58):
Ask your stylist about tape inextensions.
Wow, they make a huge, hugedifference.
Make sure that your stylistcertified in putting them in.
It's a no commitment.
It's not going to damage yourhair.
It's a wonderful way to justadd some thickness to the sides
and try on if you like longerhair.
(19:18):
But, like I said, if you're onthe fence, that collarbone
length is the perfect.
In between, Get a little bit ofsubtle layering in there and
you can do all kinds of thingswith your hair.
Okay, Number five don't assumethat gray hair makes you look
older.
So gray shades can bestereotyped as aging, but a
(19:39):
clean looking gray is stunning.
Ask your hairstylist for alight reflective shade.
Okay, If you are more on.
We call it salt and pepper.
Right, Salt and pepper.
You got the white, white grayand then you've got darker grays
.
If you're more of the salt side, you might want to go for more
(20:01):
of a white or platinum look,meaning you want to use like
blue or ash tones, or so you canget more of an edgier gray.
It actually will make your hairlook a little bit bluish, gray,
purplish, and that's okay.
That's okay, Okay.
Number six adjust your hair care.
(20:23):
First of all, healthy hairstarts at the root, so taking
care of your scalp first isgoing to pay off.
A poor scalp environment canlead to poor growth cycles and
the structure of your hair isgoing to become thinner as a
result.
It's a thing.
So if you've noticed that yourhair is thinning or that your
scalp feels dry, go to yourstylist.
Okay, they can recommendtailored solutions, maybe a
(20:46):
prescriptive hair care systemthat's going to help you create
fuller, thicker hair.
Go to the pros.
Don't take it in your own handsor call me.
I've been in the industry 30years so I can help you.
It's also important to chooseproducts that protect the hair
against, you know, the damagingfree radicals in the air or the
sunlight, because these allaffect their hair.
(21:07):
Have you noticed that gray hairand aging hair tends to be
coarser too?
This even makes likeconditioning and weekly masks
even more important.
So make sure you're using alightweight conditioner on the
ends of your hair, and then yourweekly treatment masks will
penetrate and smooth the moreporous hair cuticle, and if
(21:30):
you're using a quality one, theywon't leave your hair limp and
heavy.
Then you also want to usestyling products that has added
moisturizing ingredients such asceramides.
That's going to elevate yourstyle and the condition of your
hair.
You don't want to use anythingtoo heavy and, for goodness
sakes, you don't want to use tooheavy of a hairspray.
You could still use hairsprayOkay, I love me a good hairspray
(21:53):
, but just don't make it a stiffhold type hairspray.
That's really really out rightnow.
If you if your hair's notmoving with you, you know what I
mean Try to avoid over washingyour hair, because you really
want to preserve the strength,the hydration and the color of
your hair, especially if youlive in a hard water area, and
(22:17):
what this will do is it's goingto give a chance for the natural
oils from your scalp to movefrom your scalp down the hair
shaft.
And yes, as we get older, ourscalp produces less and less of
this oil, so it takes more andmore time.
So if you can go a few daysbetween shampooing, that's
probably the best.
Plus, who likes to wash and drytheir hair every day?
(22:40):
I hate getting ready.
I don't know about you.
So that wraps up the gray hair.
I thought it would be kind offun to go on the internet and
actually see what people areactually asking about gray hair,
and the top questions I came upwith, okay, was is gray hair
caused by stress?
We have all heard that, haven'twe?
(23:01):
That people who go grayovernight?
Now I have heard that, and I'veseen that in a couple of my
clients that something sostressful has happened that they
seem to wake up the next daywith with a patch of gray hair.
Not all their hair turns gray.
There's no way that can happen.
I'm sorry that cannot happen.
Your hair cannot gray from thebottom to the scalp.
(23:26):
No, because once it grows outof the scalp it's actually dead,
it's not alive.
So the only way that it canturn gray is from the scalp out.
Okay, Is gray hair caused bystress?
Yes, A new study shows thatstress really can give you gray
hair.
Researchers found that thebody's fight or flight response
(23:48):
plays a key role in turning hairgray.
Your hair color is determinedby pigment producing cells
called melanocytes.
While stress is often associatedwith premature graying, the
direct link between stress andgray hair is not entirely
straightforward.
Here's how stress may play arole.
There's three stages of growthin hair.
(24:08):
Intense stress can trigger acondition called telogen
effluvium, and that's where thehair follicles shift from
growing phase to a resting phaseand after a few months affected
hairs may fall out and the newones may grow in with less
pigment, resulted in what youmay appear sudden appearance of
(24:30):
gray hair.
But this doesn't, doesn'thappen overnight.
It happens like Maybe twomonths after the stressful thing
happened, where you startnoticing it.
Okay, so same with.
If you're losing clumps of yourhair, same thing.
Look back about two monthsbefore.
Did something stressful in yourlife occur?
(24:50):
That's probably what it'scaused from.
You know, did somebody die?
Did something terrible happen?
We don't want to go down thatroad.
But the second thing aboutstress oxidative stress, and we
kind of talked about thisChronic stress can contribute to
the oxidative stress, which isjust the buildup of stress in
(25:12):
the body and it can impact themelan why can't I say that word?
Melanocytes responsible forproducing melanin.
So chronic stress.
And then there's hormonalchanges.
So stress can influence hormoneimbalance and hormonal changes
(25:33):
may in turn impact the melaninproduction.
Again contributes to prematuregrain of the hair.
And then inflammation Prolongedstress can lead to inflammation
throughout the body and I don'tknow about you.
Inflammation it's this chronicinflammation in the body that
causes so many things.
But it also affects the hairfollicles because it'll
(25:56):
suffocate your hair from growing.
Not only will it thin out thehair, but it'll also it could
squeeze out the melaninproducing cells, which speeds up
the grain process.
Make sense.
It's important to note that therelationship between stress and
gray hair is complex and it'snot experienced by everybody.
(26:16):
So, more than likely geneticfactors, lifestyle choices and
overall health play more of arole in when you're going to
turn gray.
Here's another question that wasout there Can you reverse gray
hair?
No, there's no scientificallyproven way to reverse gray hair.
No, If somebody tells you thereis to reverse gray hair, no, If
(26:38):
somebody tells you there is run, they're selling you snake oil.
So once hair turns gray, it isa permanent change in the body.
Now you can slow down thegraying process, like with
supplements and managing yourstress, but I don't think you
can.
Well, I know you can't reversethe graying process, but
(27:02):
research is ongoing and you know, um, who knows what the future
is going to bring?
Heck, they might have somethingAI generated to reverse gray
hair.
Who knows, Um, but no, as ofright now, you can't reverse it.
Here's another question that wasout there what's the average
(27:22):
age?
Most people get gray hair,Everybody.
This this is so widely variedit's really really hard to
pinpoint because it's bothgenetic and it's environmental.
But generally, Caucasian tendto start graying in their
mid-30s, Asians in their late30s and African-Americans in
(27:44):
their mid-40s.
However, these are just generaltrends and many people may
experience gray hair earlier orlater than average.
Again, genetics play thatsignificant role.
So if your parents or yourgrandparents experienced early
grain, there's a high likelihoodyou're going to as well.
Look, it's important to notethat grain's just a natural part
(28:07):
of the aging process and one ofthose things we're going to
have to accept.
Right, and it's how well weaccept it and what we're going
to do with it, whether we wantto go gray and just go with the
flow and accept it, or we'regoing to fight it till the very
end.
There's so many different waysto fight it.
If that's if that's your gameplan, it's my game plan.
(28:28):
Um, you know you can gray blend,you can touch up, you could do
softer hair color, but you know,just just being confident in
who you are.
There's no rules to the gameanymore.
You can go gray or not go gray.
Nobody, nobody, should judgeyou.
The only person you have towake up to and be judged by is
(28:49):
yourself, that person looking inthe mirror.
So enjoy the process.
If you have any questions aboutgray hair how you should talk to
your hairstylist reach out tome.
Like I said, I'm on Instagram.
I'm on Facebook, you know.
You can go to my website,contact me there.
Thanks for being here, Thanksfor being a listener, Thanks for
(29:10):
being in this community anduntil next time.
Just remember, when you knowbetter, you do better.
Thanks for tuning in to AllAbout Hair.
Here's what I'd love for you todo next Take a screenshot of
this episode and share it onyour Instagram stories.
Tag me at Denise Keilitz so Ican see you're listening.
(29:31):
Sharing helps more peoplediscover the podcast and if
you're really enjoying the show.
Please leave a review on ApplePodcasts.
It really helps others find us.
Thanks again, I'm Denise Kylitz, and remember when you know
better, you do better.
See you next week.