August 10, 2025 • 51 mins
Ever wondered why some people stay calm when money's tight while others spiral into anxiety? This raw, honest conversation explores our complex relationship with money and how deeply it affects our identity, self-worth, and happiness.
Carmen opens up about her journey from having substantial wealth to losing everything in the 2008 financial crisis, revealing the emotional whiplash that comes with financial extremes. "I had made more money in one year than my mother had made her entire life," she shares, describing the mixture of achievement and sadness that accompanied her success. Despite her financial abundance at that time, she wasn't happy - proving that money and joy don't automatically go hand-in-hand.
We explore childhood memories that shaped our understanding of wealth and poverty. Remember when having a pool or even just a car meant someone was "rich"? These early classifications stick with us, informing how we see ourselves financially decades later. Cynthia surprises everyone by revealing that her most financially comfortable period was during COVID when spending naturally decreased, while Rick recalls only feeling "rich" during youth while living with his parents without bills.
The conversation tackles tough questions about billionaires, social responsibility, and the systems that keep people trapped in poverty. We challenge the notion that those receiving assistance should have their spending dictated, arguing that this approach perpetuates environments of lack. "If you are a good and decent person, you should help people... and not then turn around and say to them, 'but you can only spend it on this, this and this,'" Carmen argues.
We wrap up by asking: If money didn't define your worth, what would? The answers - kindness, making the world better, and maintaining personal conviction regardless of financial circumstances - remind us that our value extends far beyond our bank accounts.
Join us every Friday night at 6pm Pacific/9pm Eastern for our Friday Night Lives where we continue these meaningful conversations together. Because at the end of the day, it really is all about the joy.
Thank you for stopping by. Please visit our website: All About The Joy and add, like and share. You can also support us by shopping at our STORE - We'd appreciate that greatly. Also, if you want to find us anywhere on social media, please check out the link in bio page.
Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carmen Lezeth (00:04):
Hi everyone.
Welcome to All About the Joy,the Private Lounge, rick Costas
in the house and welcome backJust Cynthia.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (00:14):
I just saw that.
Carmen Lezeth (00:16):
I know she did that last time, though, because
I kept saying her name, I keptmessing with her last two names
like being ridiculous.
So now it's just Cynthia.
I think you should get that asa website, but that's just me.
So you know, I wanted to have aconversation just about and I
know it's not everyone'sfavorite topic, but I think it's
(00:36):
important.
Let me tell you what happenedthis week.
So all of you know that I amnow moving on from the workload
that I've had with all theseclients, primarily because of
the fires, but also it's justtime.
And so one person took me out tolunch the other day and said
you know, you're not evenfreaking out.
Why are you not stressed out?
Like, did you win the lotteryor something?
(00:58):
And I was like, yeah, I won thelottery and I'm sitting here
having lunch with you hopingthat you'll pay.
I won the lottery and I'msitting here having lunch with
you hoping that you'll pay.
But I think what he was gettingat was more about that it
doesn't really affect me, likeI'm not afraid, I'm not scared
or whatever, and that's moreabout just experience.
That has you know what I mean.
(01:18):
Like money comes, money goes,and you got to be able to deal
with that, especially whenyou're kind of what I do, which
is a freelancer I have my ownbusiness, like sometimes I have
so much work and then sometimesI don't have any, and so we're
in that low period right now,and so I started thinking about
how people process dealing withmoney, and I wanted to start by
(01:38):
asking I'm going to start withCynthia.
So do you remember a time,cynthia, when you felt you had
enough money, that you had anabundance of money?
When was that time, and whatdid it feel like it was?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (01:50):
actually during COVID I think it was
because, you know, we couldn'tgo anywhere, we couldn't spend
any money.
I was bringing lunch ratherthan buying food because, again,
you weren't sure who you couldtrust with your food.
So I definitely was spending alot less money during that time.
(02:13):
So I think I was that was thetime I had the most, to be
honest.
Carmen Lezeth (02:21):
Do you remember feeling?
Well, it's so weird that yousaid COVID Like most people were
freaking out during COVID.
But can I and again, anythingyou guys don't want to share?
You don't need to share at all.
I'm just going to ask questions.
You know what I mean.
So why did you have enoughmoney during COVID and everybody
else was suffering?
What were you doing?
(02:41):
Billionaire, I wish.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (02:45):
Honestly, like I said, I wasn't shopping,
I wasn't doing anything.
I'd go to work or I would stayhome and during that time, like
we would switch off every week.
So like one week I'd work fromhome so I wouldn't have to waste
gas, I'd have my food here athome, and then another week I'd
(03:06):
be in the office and again bringmy lunch and I was driving less
, using less gas, wasting lessmoney.
So my whole paycheck was justbasically going into my savings.
Carmen Lezeth (03:19):
So going into your savings.
It's so funny.
I love you with all my heart.
Everyone always tries to act asif I'm bougie and I have like
all this money.
I'm the one who's living likepaycheck to paycheck, cynthia's,
like I was just putting moneyinto my 401k and my savings and
(03:40):
investing in the video stockmarket Okay, cool.
So you felt really good and youfelt very comfortable during
COVID, which, I have to say, Idon't know anybody except you,
unless Rick, is going to tell meit was during COVID.
I'm going to lose my mind, rick.
When did you remember a timewhen you had more than enough?
Rick Costa (04:02):
The only time I felt like I was, I mean, I never,
never, had a lot, ever, ever.
But the only time I felt like Iwas slightly living large was
when I was very young, stillliving with, living with my
parents.
I had a job, no bills, therewas no such thing as cell phones
.
Back then, um, I would, I had,I had money to spend.
I got the most expensive,expensive TV, I got the most
(04:24):
expensive VCR.
I was like, yeah, I got themoney whatever and no concept of
saving money.
So, yeah, that's the only timeI really felt like you know, you
can buy whatever you want, butnow no.
Carmen Lezeth (04:37):
You know it's so weird because we don't really
appreciate when we were youngerunless we look back on it.
But when you're young and youdon't have all those bills and
you're just trying to figure outif you can get money to go hang
out and go to the club, and youknow, will I have enough money?
And I have to ask so-and-so,and blah, blah, blah, and that's
(04:57):
like your big priority.
You don't even understand whatit's like to have to actually
deal with.
You know, I have to pay myutility bill or my cell phone
bill, or it won't.
I won't have it if I don't payit.
You know?
Um, well, I I wrote my firstbook and that moment was a
(05:19):
moment when I realized I had waymore money than my mother ever
had in her entire life, and thatso, and I have no problem
telling people.
So at that time I was working,I was a partner at a company
that had started out with likeseven people and we grew really,
really big and I was part ofthat whole process.
I became a partner and I wasgetting a K one and for people
(05:41):
who don't know what a K one is,it's basically a bonus structure
.
You get a percentage of thecompanies and I had flown in
from New York I'll never forgetthis Came to my condo.
I had a $650,000 condo.
Cynthia, did you ever come to mycondo in Brentwood?
Shame, it was beautiful.
It was beautiful, it was verybeautiful.
But I had this condo and thething that was amazing about it
(06:05):
was and I like if there was evera time you would say I was a
minimalist, it was then becauseI had so much space and no
furniture and that's how I likedit.
But I had this amazing patiothat ran the entire length of
the condo, like one whole sidewas just all kind of glass and
beautiful windows and those oldshutters, you know, and it
(06:26):
overlooked the pool and Idefinitely had the best condo
out of the apartment complex orwhatever the condo complex.
And I say all this to give youa picture.
And I came home from New York, Iput my bags aside and all my
mail had been laid out for me bymy assistants back then this is
what I'm saying and I had beenworking in New York and had come
(06:50):
home and I was going through mymail and my K-1 check was there
.
So that was on top of my salaryat the time, which was like
$150,000, was like my salary,and then my K-1 check was like
another $120-something thousanddollars, right, because that's
how it works.
And I remember sitting on that,I had like a lounge chair and I
(07:13):
had all these beautiful flowers.
You know, I had somebody cometo do the flowers and water them
, so it was beautiful and youcan ask Baata and Andrea because
they came to the condo, yeah,and I sat there and I cried and
it was a mixture of complete andutter sadness and an
(07:36):
uncomfortableness, because Irealized in that moment that I
had made more money in one yearthan my mother had made her
entire life, probably more moneyin one year than my mother had
made her entire life, probably,you know.
And that's when I startedwriting the book, because I
started to realize I wouldn'teven be here if it wasn't for
all of these people, and so Istarted writing the letters and
that's how the book Canela cameto be?
Rick Costa (08:00):
Did you also think I wish my mom could see me now?
Carmen Lezeth (08:03):
No, okay, because and this is I mean.
I say that for a lot of reasons.
Number one I don't reallyremember my mom, I don't.
And then the other part of ittoo is I just because I had an
abundance of money doesn't meanI was happy because I wasn't.
Rick Costa (08:23):
I was miserable.
Carmen Lezeth (08:23):
Say that for the people in the back.
Let me say it again yeah, but Iwas.
I was, you know, I was workingridiculous amount of hours, I
was traveling back and forth toNew York.
I really wasn't spending thatmuch time with friends, or you
know what I mean Like I was andI was overwhelmed and I was
doing something I hate to do.
I mean, I was managing officesand doing all of this money
(08:48):
stuff, and just it was.
I wasn't happy.
So, no, I would have neverwanted my.
I think that's what the problemwas.
On the one hand, I had enoughmoney and abundance of money, on
the other hand, and I wassitting in this beautiful condo
that, by the way, I never wanted, never wanted, but I bought it
because back then, before thecrash came right, because in
(09:08):
2008, 2009, we had the financialcollapse and I lost my condo,
couldn't get work like everyoneelse.
So money is fleeting, it's veryfleeting, it comes and it goes,
but um why the apartment?
Rick Costa (09:25):
Or you didn't want it?
You said.
Carmen Lezeth (09:26):
Oh, I did not want to go.
So back then you were toldthank you for reminding me.
Back then you were always toldyou have to invest in property.
That was the big thing.
They don't do that now.
Nobody pressures you now.
But when I met with my businessmanager I had a business manager
back then they were like Carmen, you can't keep giving money
away.
You can't.
Like I would, I would buy, youknow, books for a classroom or I
(09:48):
would, and you can't write thatstuff off.
And I actually was like, yeah,I don't care, it's fine.
They're like no, no, but it'dbe better.
You got to invest and so Ibought this condo is beautiful
condo, but I never wanted to ownanything because it's just not
my thing.
It's not my thing.
It's not that I wouldn't ownanything in the future, but,
like my car, I'm gonna own it,I'm gonna keep it because I love
(10:11):
it.
And but I was just like beingforced to do something that I
didn't want to do.
So but that's why I want totalk about this, because even in
that moment and I was, I was so, I was so kind of glad but sad,
and you know that's why Istarted writing my book I wasn't
that happy, you know.
(10:31):
I wasn't full of um positivefeelings, except that I could.
I could easily pay my bills andhelp other people, you know.
And then the financial collapsehappened and I lost everything,
like everyone else did.
Rick Costa (10:48):
Did you have to sell it at a loss or no?
Carmen Lezeth (10:50):
I'm sorry.
Rick Costa (10:51):
Did you have to sell it at a loss or no?
Carmen Lezeth (10:53):
Oh, I totally sold it at a loss and I don't
mind sharing with people becauseI think people have to know
that I had to short sale it andthen I didn't even have any work
.
There was no way and a lot ofpeople had to go through this.
So I don't mind sharing thatinformation because I think
people need to understand howthings happen.
(11:13):
And are you a good person whenthings go bad?
Who are you when things arereally hard?
Rick Costa (11:24):
It also matters who are you when things?
Carmen Lezeth (11:26):
are great, you know, when you have an abundance
of money.
So when did you guys realizeyou were rich or poor?
When you were young?
I don't want to make anyassumptions.
I don't want to make anyassumptions in the room.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (11:39):
I am not rich at all.
Carmen Lezeth (11:43):
I am not rich at all no, cynthia, you're not rich
, but you are comfortable.
She's what comfortable.
I'm going to say I don't knowif it's comfortable, because you
(12:04):
could be much more comfortable,but Cynthia doesn't spend money
Like I will spend $1,000 on apair of shoes and be okay with
it, right, cynthia can wantthose same pair of shoes.
It ain't going to happen for nodollars.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (12:21):
I will buy the knockoffs Okay.
Carmen Lezeth (12:24):
And I would never .
I would rather not have theshoes and go without than buy
the knockoffs.
Yeah, that's where we'redifferent, that's where we're
different, right?
I remember we had aconversation about sorry about
bras.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (12:35):
Do you remember the conversation we had
?
Carmen Lezeth (12:37):
about bras.
Okay, wait, no, this is a greatRick.
We are mature adults here.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (12:42):
I actually bought a couple of the ones that
you suggested.
Carmen Lezeth (12:48):
Okay, let me just tell people first.
Here's the thing.
So I am not cheap when it comesto two types of clothing.
Shoes, really important to me,protect my feet, blah, blah,
blah.
I don't care, okay, whetherit's sneakers, it don't matter,
I'm not going to go cheap onthose.
And bras the girls will alwaysbe taken care of and I spend a
lot of money on my bras and Ialso wash them by hand, like.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (13:12):
Cynthia's like.
Carmen Lezeth (13:13):
I don't want to be bothered I throw mine in the
washing machine.
Right.
We had a conversation aboutbras and she was like, oh hell,
no, I'm not spending that kindof money on bras.
But you did.
You bought the bras.
I told you to try them.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (13:24):
Yeah, I do like them and you're feeling I
do like them.
They are comfortable.
Carmen Lezeth (13:31):
But do you see, the support is very different.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (13:33):
Oh yeah.
Carmen Lezeth (13:33):
Yeah, okay, okay.
So I'm just saying sometimesthere are things you get what
you pay for, absolutely yeah.
Yeah, I think shoes for me ismore about um, yeah, I mean,
there are some shoes you don'thave to spend that kind of money
on, but running sneakers youhave to.
You're going to be running,spend money on.
(13:55):
You know, I can't really talkabout my Jimmy shoes or my
poochies or other shoes, um, butI will say, when you buy a pair
of heels that are really wellmade, you can actually walk in
them, right, but are you walkingaround in stilettos every day?
Even in the days when I waswearing them all the time, I
(14:15):
wasn't you know what I mean.
So but I.
But here's where Cynthia and Iare the same.
I'm not going to go spend moneyI don't have, like, I'm not
going to be like you know what.
I'll figure out the rent laterOn.
That we are exactly the same,you know.
But, rick, what about you?
Rick Costa (14:32):
What about you?
What's the question?
Again, sorry.
Carmen Lezeth (14:36):
When did you realize that you were poor or
rich?
Don't want to make anyassumptions.
Maybe your family was verywealthy when you were little.
You lost it all in some crazy,you know, market crash or
something.
When did you know as a kid, doyou remember?
Rick Costa (14:51):
I mean, I think we always felt middle class always.
The only time I felt like youknow, oh, maybe we're a little
OK was because we lived in athree-family house and we had
tenants.
I was like, I don't know, wegot tenants, that's the money
coming in.
I was like I never felt like wewere rich still middle class,
(15:13):
but yeah, never felt neitherrich nor poor, just always right
.
Carmen Lezeth (15:15):
You know, it's so funny.
I used to think that you beinga landlord, he'd be rich in our
neighborhood, right, right.
Right, cynthia, we'd be like herich, like if you had a car, I
thought you were rich.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (15:25):
Oh, mm-hmm.
Carmen Lezeth (15:27):
Yep, like remember I think it was not, I
think it was the Martins theyhad a pool, they were rich, rich
, anybody who had a pool wasrich.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (15:35):
rich.
If you had a pool, it wasn'teven like an indoor pool, it
wasn't above ground or in groundground.
Carmen Lezeth (15:40):
you were rich, it doesn't matter rich it was
beautiful, but it was just funny.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (15:46):
It could have been a ball pool and you
still rich.
It doesn't matter rich because?
Carmen Lezeth (15:53):
because, if people were like, if you want to
come to the house to have, youknow, come, we're having a pool
party.
Be like a pool party like inthe city, what right?
Like so cool yeah, would belike.
So cool, yeah, Like.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (16:06):
I never felt like we were poor.
I mean like my mom always madesure we had what we needed.
You know what I mean, like wenever went without.
So I think probably like middleclass.
Like Rick said Never poor,never rich.
Carmen Lezeth (16:21):
We just had fun.
Yeah, I was poor, so we good, Imean, I had what I needed, but
I didn't have what I wanted.
And I think there's adifference.
And I think the definition forme of poor is also like and I
say this respectfully, but youknow we would go and get like.
You know I remember we'd waitin line and get cheese and like
(16:45):
milk products or whatever.
Yeah, we didn't have foodstamps, but we had the free
stuff that you would go to theschool and I would get free milk
in school.
So the reason why I know isbecause in my neighborhood and
again, you're, I don't want tosay, much younger than me, but
different generations, differentgenerations I think it's one of
the reasons why my mom passedaway so young actually I don't
(17:07):
have any evidence for this, butbecause she wouldn't ask for
help.
You know the pride,bullshittery, you know that
whole, you know.
I think that's why she didn'tget the help she needed.
She didn't get the medical helpshe needed, but like, there was
some weird pride about notgetting food stamps in the
neighborhood because peoplewould sell food stamps, right.
So there's, I don't know ifpeople understand what that
(17:29):
means, but like, if you havefood stamps.
You can only buy certain kindsof food on them.
They have to be certain foods,like milk or whatever, but you
can't buy I don't know candy, oryou can't buy diapers, or you
can't buy other things, at leastback then.
I don't know what happens now.
I don't know what happens now.
I don't know what happens now,but back then you couldn't.
Rick Costa (17:48):
So funny because I literally just saw a video
yesterday of these people thatwere.
I think it's called Snap.
I guess right.
Carmen Lezeth (17:54):
I think it's called Snap Benefits now.
Rick Costa (17:57):
And these people were bragging.
They were like at a Costco typeplace, you know those big
warehouse stores, filling up thecart and then at the end
they're like see, see how much Isaved.
It was like $600.
Like she didn't pay it becauseit's all on a snap card.
I'm like but why would you bragabout that?
It's kind of weird to me.
Carmen Lezeth (18:16):
Well, I mean, I think this is an interesting
part of this conversation.
I don't know if it's so much.
I mean, I don't know the videoyou're talking about and I
understand the sentiment, butlet me just finish one part
about selling food stamps andthen remind me if I forget.
So what people would do is theywould sell their food stamps so
they could get cash right, andthen they would turn around and
(18:39):
be able to buy the things thatthey wanted to buy.
You know what I mean.
So there would be this weirdexchange that would happen buy
the things that they wanted tobuy.
Rick Costa (18:46):
So they you know what I mean.
So there'd be this weirdexchange that would happen.
That's what made me rememberthat, because they were saying
that they'll sell.
They'll say let me, I'll giveyou $200 for $300 of your food
stamps, because they can't usethat money for liquor or
something that they want, sothey would do it because that's
the only way they could get itRight.
Carmen Lezeth (19:08):
That's the only way they could get it.
That's the only way we rememberthat at the first point.
So here's the thing that weneed to remember.
And again, I don't know thevideo you're talking about, but
there is this weird stigma aboutpeople who need help and get
help, because all we hear aboutare the people who turn around
and maybe abuse it or do thingslike this.
Okay, but the fact of thematter is, like everything else
on the planet, there are otherpeople like my mother, who I I
(19:29):
don't have evidence of this, butbecause of that behavior or
people have a perception did notget the healthcare, the help
she needed in order to survive.
So a 12 year old kid and otherchildren were left.
You know, you see what I'msaying?
Like there's a price to pay,and this was a woman who worked
(19:50):
every single day of her life andworked hard work and, before I
hear anything in the comments oremails, she was a fucking
citizen.
She was and it doesn't matter,don't come to me Ice Ridiculous
people, anyways.
But this is actually animportant conversation because I
(20:12):
want to do something.
I want us to start thinkingabout money very, very
differently.
I don't mean, I mean all of uswhen people are on any kind of
benefits or asking for help.
If you are a good and decentperson, you should help people.
You should help people and notthen turn around and say to them
(20:33):
, but you can only spend it onthis, this and this.
When you do that, you create theenvironment for people to live
in lack.
If you say to me, rick, can youhelp me with $500?
And I say yes, but you can onlyuse it to buy these things, how
(20:55):
does that make you feel Likeyou're going to be like why did
I freaking ask to begin with?
I feel I already felthumiliated to ask at first, and
now you're telling me I can onlydo so much with it.
And I need diapers for my kid,I need cream for my body, I need
I'd like to have a cup ofcoffee in the morning, but I
can't.
But you see what I mean.
(21:15):
We restrict people and peopleneed that stuff anyway.
So now what are they going todo?
When you are desperate, whenyou need something, when you are
living in a situation of lack,you're going to find a way to
get that stuff.
Hmm, and I think we need tostop, in this country especially
(21:51):
, but all over the world, thisidea that money, not one of
those people, are better thanany of the poorest people I have
ever known, associated with,worked with, been around, grew
up with at all.
Rick Costa (22:07):
Or happier not happier.
Carmen Lezeth (22:15):
But yeah, you know, it's just factual to me
that we need to stop puttingthat stigma on people about
being poor.
When were you deeply anxiousabout money?
Right now, I am anxious rightnow.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (22:33):
So the first time was when we were planning
our wedding.
Really, because at that time Ihad so much debt and we were
planning our wedding, so I was.
My anxiety was like through theroof, to the point like I'd be
sitting on my bed crying like,freaking out and Walt's like
(22:56):
calm down, like we'll figure itout, like don't worry the point.
Like I would be sitting on mybed crying like freaking out and
was like calm down, like we'llfigure it out, like don't worry,
um, we're doing peace, forgetthis crap, right?
Um.
So yeah, I mean that that wasthe first time and I think you
know, any time we're thinkingabout buying a house because we
do want to buy a house that toois also like can bring up some
(23:18):
time anxiety.
Anxiety because it's like themarket's not great, or you know
we don't make enough, or youknow there's always, there's
always something you still wantto buy a house?
Carmen Lezeth (23:30):
I do, yeah I.
I've owned property.
I never want to own it again.
I, at least not alone, I don't.
And I yeah that's a whole other, I guess private lounge.
I never will buy a piece ofproperty by myself, ever again,
unless I have like a like I dowin the lottery, like unless
(23:51):
because it's just too much workwould you would you?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (23:54):
purchase another property at that same
amount, or would it be less?
Is that what that is?
Carmen Lezeth (24:01):
Oh no, no, no, no .
Well, see, you weren't at mycondo so you don't know.
I had two floods.
So I lived there for four yearsand I had two floods because
somebody's thing broke above meor whatever.
Their water heater broke aboveme and it flooded the entire
place.
And then I had another floodbecause it came, we had a
rainstorm and it came throughwhatever, and and it was fine
(24:25):
because you know, I had themoney to deal with it, and but
you have to have all theseworkers and all these people and
somebody has to call them andmanage them.
And I was just like, oh my God,and here's the thing I was
going to buy.
This is the irony of irony.
So I used to work for this womanwho was old oil money.
We became friends.
I've talked about her in thepast, but we, you know, after I
had worked at this company, wewould go out, sometimes for
(24:47):
lunch, and sometimes she wouldinvite me to some of these
events and I would go to thesekind of private home, um art
collection places and I wantedto buy this $10,000 painting
that at the time I couldn'tafford it, but I was like, oh my
God, I want it for over themantle.
It'll bring the whole thingtogether, cause I had really no
furniture.
So it really was kind of this,really kind of beautiful piece.
(25:09):
And, long story short, she waslike you are not buying that
piece.
She was like you're not and Iwas like, but why?
She's like you need to live ina place for a year before you
buy or redecorate at all.
No, she was adamant.
I was like no, no, but I know,I know this.
She's like absolutely not.
Rick Costa (25:29):
I was like you ain't my mother, I need a foot of
feng shui.
Carmen Lezeth (25:32):
I was like you ain't my mother.
She was funny, but I was like,okay, I was just like, okay,
well, it's not like I have10,000, like no big deal, but
you know what I mean?
It's not like her kind of money.
To me it would have been areally big investment.
The flood came down throughthat wall and it would have
(25:53):
destroyed the entire thing, andI remember thinking like you
know what, Thank you, thank you,thank you, Thank you, thank you
.
Yeah, I'll never forget that.
Yeah, so I, yeah, I have nointerest, but I live where I
live.
So the answer is I'd probablyget a.
It depends.
I mean, I'm going to do it withsomebody.
(26:13):
So if they're like a very richsurgeon or something, you know,
sky's the limit.
Boo, no, I would.
Yeah, for me, I just need like,I would like a two bedroom and
I want to be.
I'm two blocks from the beach,but I want to be like facing the
beach.
I'm not facing the beach rightnow and I'd like to like wake up
(26:34):
in the morning, go out on mybalcony or veranda, whatever the
hell it's called, and have acup of coffee.
I'd like that.
That would be a dream come true.
And as much as I'm kiddingaround about a man.
I really don't want the man inmy house, I just want his money
and his ability to fix things.
Rick Costa (26:54):
Maybe a nice plastic surgeon.
Carmen Lezeth (26:59):
Maybe a nice plastic surgeon Meet a nice old
plastic surgeon.
Rick Costa (27:05):
It's like dying or something.
Carmen Lezeth (27:08):
Why are you making fun of this?
I would never get plasticsurgery.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (27:14):
Botox.
Can you see it?
Can you see it?
No, no, I was joking I'mself-conscious.
Rick Costa (27:17):
Can you see it?
Can you see it?
No?
Carmen Lezeth (27:19):
no, I was joking.
Now I'm self-conscious, can yousee it?
Rick Costa (27:21):
No no.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (27:22):
You're self-conscious.
Hello, I'm peeling.
Carmen Lezeth (27:26):
But, rick, what else were we talking about?
It's all your fault.
We got off topic.
Rick Costa (27:31):
We got derailed.
Carmen Lezeth (27:32):
Yeah, talk about my hot surgeon.
Rick Costa (27:36):
People that you know need help, and how your mom was
maybe too proud.
Carmen Lezeth (27:43):
Yeah, but we were talking about when did you
realize you were poor or rich?
You always knew that you weremiddle class.
What was the time you wereanxious about money and I said,
right now, Me too.
Now, right now.
Rick Costa (27:56):
Some people take the paycheck.
I'm living credit card tocredit card.
Carmen Lezeth (28:00):
I know, cynthia, you're Cynthia's like he, he, he
, he, he.
That's when you know the richpeople are in the room.
It's just good.
Rick Costa (28:09):
She's like I put everything in my savings account
.
What's the savings account?
Carmen Lezeth (28:13):
Okay, okay, seriously.
Do you have a good memory ofmoney, a time when money I wrote
about it in my book when mymother bought me my boots?
I think that will always besomething that I associate with,
uh, a moment where I knew wedidn't have it I was too young,
I didn't really understand, butI knew she didn't have it.
(28:34):
But that money got me a reallycool present.
Yeah and yeah, and there waslove in that, you know.
Yeah oh, you should already knowmine um, I should know yours,
when my mom took us to.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (28:49):
Disney, my first trip.
Carmen Lezeth (28:57):
Really Okay, that's cool, but you knew at
that time that you guys were.
No, that was a big deal.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (29:05):
It was a big deal.
Yeah, so she used to have thissock in my drawer, in my dresser
.
No one else knew about it, justme.
And every so often she wouldput money in there and she would
tell me don't tell anybody, shewould just wrap it up.
Never knew how much, just me.
And every so often she wouldput money in there and she would
tell me don't tell anybody, shewould just wrap it up.
Never knew how much was inthere.
And then one day she's likewe're going to Disney and she
(29:26):
grabbed that money and that'swhat she paid for Disney.
But was it just you and her?
It was me, her, audrey and Seanthe four of us.
Carmen Lezeth (29:36):
Not your other sister.
No, that's funny, rick.
Do you have one?
Do you have a moment where youremember a good feeling, that
money made you happy?
Rick Costa (29:51):
Mine's going to be like a little bit of a reverse,
because when I went to I was insecond grade and we went to
portugal and talk about cultureshock because this was not the
mainland, this was the azoresislands and they were still way
behind technologytechnologically.
So I was like that made me feellike I was rich.
(30:15):
Looking at how these peoplelived, I'm like no cars.
Carmen Lezeth (30:20):
Oh, okay.
Rick Costa (30:22):
Horses everywhere and they had some people had TVs
, but it was like one and a halfchannels.
What's one and a half channels?
One channel is 24-7.
The other channel is half a dayand that's it.
And I'm like I have a littlebrain going.
This is barbaric.
That made me feel like I wasrich.
(30:44):
These people that's actuallyreally interesting yeah, but I
love them as my family.
So, yeah, we still had fun.
Carmen Lezeth (31:02):
What does it mean to each of you to have an
emotional attachment to money?
I don't think.
I really do.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (31:11):
No one thinks they do, by the way, but
everyone does.
Carmen Lezeth (31:12):
Everyone does.
I'll tell you why.
I mean, I think it's aninteresting thing and I actually
give Teresa credit for this,because when I first moved to
Los Angeles I was by myself, Ididn't know anybody.
I think I've mentioned thisbefore.
I did light housekeeping forfree room and board for a
gentleman, an older gentleman,his name was Mr Nasha, may he
(31:34):
rest in peace but he wasoffering that for students in
the area or whatever, and Iwasn't a student, but he allowed
me to stay there.
And I remember one night all Ihad in the room, in the little
like there's an extra room off,like the patio or whatever, and
it was a mattress that I boughtfor myself.
I had a TV that I bought, asmall TV that I bought for
(31:56):
myself because priorities, wellno, but I mean I did.
I bought a TV and then, you know, I had my clothes or whatever,
and I remember sitting there andI had been, I had been cleaning
the bathroom and the kitchen orwhatever, and I went into my
room and I was crying because Irealized I had a bachelor's
(32:17):
degree and I was still doing thesame job my mother was doing
and I got really upset and I wascrying and I was having one of
those, like you know, when youcry and you can't breathe,
you're like you know what I meanand I talked to.
I talked to Teresa the next daybecause I was so upset about it
or maybe it was that night.
I called her and we had thiswhole conversation and she said
and I give her credit for thisshe said you cannot have an
(32:40):
emotional attachment to money.
Money is not who you are, itwill.
It doesn't matter if you haveit or you don't have it, it will
never define you, never.
And I was like, okay, but I'mstill a housekeeper, but that's
stuck in me because,unfortunately, I'm sorry she
(33:02):
still lives by that thing.
Oh no, of course.
I mean that's her whole ethos.
I mean, I think that's thething.
Is that money in a lot ofdifferent ways the way we dress,
the way we, where we eat, whatwe buy, what we do does define
us.
So it's hard for it not tobecome part of our emotional
(33:23):
ethos.
But you have to fight againstit.
You really have to push thataside because, I'm telling you,
you become a much more settledhuman being when money doesn't
dictate your emotional happinessand joy.
That's why me not having workisn't bothering me so much,
because I know I'll be okay andI always kid around and say I've
(33:45):
been homeless before, I'll behomeless again.
I'm fine with it.
Like it bothers other peoplewhen I say that, but I'm like I
ain't worried about it.
Plus, I know way too manypeople whose couches I can sleep
on.
Hello, my friends.
But worst case scenario I meanif you have people, you have
real love, you have realconnections in your life, that's
(34:06):
wealth.
Rick Costa (34:07):
Yeah, a hundred percent Agree, I know.
Carmen Lezeth (34:12):
How do you guys feel about billionaires Any
billionaire?
Do you want to aboutbillionaires?
Any billionaire.
Do you want to be a billionaire?
Rick Costa (34:19):
No, Unless I can constantly give it away.
Carmen Lezeth (34:27):
How do you feel about billionaires?
Should there be billionaires?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (34:30):
Yes, I mean, if they make it and they earned
it, I mean, hey, did they makeit, did they earn it?
Some do, some don't, most ofthem don't, but I mean I don't
really know one to even know howI feel about them.
Carmen Lezeth (34:49):
I think I've said this before.
I think money doesn't make youa better person.
It doesn't make you a goodperson.
It just gives you more choices,but it doesn't make you a
wonderful human being and itdoesn't make you able to
function better in society.
(35:10):
Okay, money don't buy classeither, and I ain't going to
diss no one here, but I think weall know what I'm talking about
.
It does not buy you class.
I know people who ain't gotnothing and have more class than
people who have tons of money.
So I honestly don't think.
Here's what I'll say.
(35:30):
I don't care if there arebillionaires and people have
tons of money.
Oprah's a billionaire, markCuban's a billionaire, warren
Buffett's a billionaire arebillionaires and people have
tons of money.
Oprah's a billionaire, markCuban's a billionaire, warren
Buffett's a billionaire.
These are people who have tonsof money.
That I don't hate.
Like you, do you.
You earned your money, do yourthing.
But there should not be in thisworld not even just this
country in this world people whohave no food or a home.
(35:53):
People who have no food or ahome.
I don't know how I could existon the planet knowing that I
have so much money and so manypeople have nothing.
And I'm not saying it's likeOprah's job to fix the homeless
problem, but I'm just sayingwhen you think about it that way
(36:16):
, it feels cruel, it feels weirdto me.
Rick Costa (36:23):
Yeah, walking right by people that are suffering
horribly and you could dosomething.
Carmen Lezeth (36:27):
Yeah, I think of Star Trek, next generation.
Right, we always talk aboutthat.
Cynthia, I'm sorry, you canjust stand.
You know, just go over therefor a minute.
Me and Rick will have thisconversation, but in that world
it isn't about money.
There's no money happening backand forth.
Now there is still a powerstructure, there is still the
dynamics that happen, but thisidea that I have to pay
(36:50):
something to do this or whatever, it's a very different system.
So I want people to be asabundant as they want to be, or
earn or whatever it is, or theirfamily gives them, or like.
I can't be mad at people whoare born into wealth.
I wish I was.
I wish I had been born.
I'd like to see that.
(37:10):
I'd like to see that storyline.
Try one time Exactly.
Rick Costa (37:13):
I'd like to do that storyline please.
Carmen Lezeth (37:16):
You need to try one time Exactly.
I'd like to do the other kindof struggling.
I would like to be a richperson who struggles to try to
find happiness.
I would like to do that.
Can we do that?
We can still have all about thejoy, but I think what breaks my
(37:38):
heart is the idea that thereare so many people in the one
percent and so many people thathave nothing or struggle so hard
to have just a little bit, andto me that feels off as far as
being a good species yeah, well,I agree, yeah, there was a.
Rick Costa (37:54):
I think there was a.
I think it was next generation,because voyager did something
species.
Yeah, I agree, I think it wasNext Generation because Voyager
did something similar too.
I remember Captain Picardspecifically talked to somebody.
Carmen Lezeth (38:05):
I can never say Star Trek, because then the boy
has to talk about an episode.
Go ahead, babe, do your thing.
Rick Costa (38:10):
Picard was talking to somebody, I believe, from the
past, and the guy was like whatdo you mean?
You don't have money, what doyou mean?
You don't buy things.
And he's like, oh, that's allpast, we don't do that Now.
We just try to find our callingand do something that's going
to benefit us in humanity.
Carmen Lezeth (38:27):
It's never going to happen in my lifetime.
Rick Costa (38:29):
How he was just dumbfounded.
Carmen Lezeth (38:31):
Well, because, and that's never going to happen
in our lifetime.
But imagine, I mean, what wouldit feel like, right?
What would it feel like to nothave to work for money, but
instead work for your passion?
Rick Costa (38:43):
yeah, if everybody got to do that I mean imagine.
Carmen Lezeth (38:50):
That life the world would be transformed, and
here's the thing, pete, you knowI love gary v, but gary v will
be transformed.
And here's the thing, Pete, youknow I love Gary Vee, but Gary
Vee will be like you have totake the risk, you have to.
I'm like bitch, I have to payrent.
You know what I mean?
That's what I have to do.
Okay, I need to eat at leastonce a day.
I just and you know, I love him, I think he's great.
(39:14):
But this idea that because youdon't do that, you don't risk
being homeless, to try to.
And here's the thing the otherday I saw him on um, on some Tik
TOK or whatever, and I didn'trealize this, but he's won the
lottery twice.
Rick Costa (39:31):
Really, I've never knew that oh wow, I didn't know
that either.
Carmen Lezeth (39:35):
And all of a sudden I was like and now I'm
done with you, give me a hundredgrand.
And I think what he won wasn'tlike millions although it's
never been disclosed because youknow, I tried to Google it but
he admitted to winning one whenhe was younger and it was like
$3,000.
But can you imagine being youngand winning?
That's like winning $100,000.
(39:56):
But he hasn't disclosed whatthe other amount is.
And I'm like see, this is whatI'm talking about and I'm not
saying everybody who'ssuccessful has gotten money or
whatever.
But you do not becomesuccessful by yourself.
If you have nothing, you do notmake it on your own.
(40:17):
I don't care who you are.
I don't care who you arebecause without your fans,
without people who want tolisten to you or watch you or
whatever it is, if people aren'tinterested in what you're doing
, if somebody doesn't have yourback when you fail so that you
can get up, brush off and maybestart over, it's really not that
(40:37):
easy.
Rick Costa (40:39):
Yeah, I mean, even if you're making the most
amazing product in the world,who's going to buy it?
Somebody's got to buy it.
Carmen Lezeth (40:46):
Somebody's got to buy it.
Yeah, and I'm not trying todiss other people, but it's like
when I heard that it totallyand I love Gary Vee, I think
he's really good at what he does, and I love Gary Vee, I think
he's really good at what he doesbut I was like all of a sudden
like, oh my God, of course, ofcourse, you did Not to mention
that he has a good familysupport.
So already I was like, allright, I already feel less than
because I have never had thatmajor family support.
(41:07):
You know, because his father isa winemaker, right, you know,
and like that's how he startedselling wine.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (41:18):
So it's not like he was.
He wasn't poor and he wasn'tmiddle-class.
Carmen Lezeth (41:20):
He had a little bit of money, a little bit.
You know what I mean.
But I was still like don'tmatter, you can't take away from
his brilliance because hedidn't make his money from the
wine business.
I was like, okay, but now youtell it, Now you trip and
telling me, you won the lottery.
Come on now, I'm out, I'm out.
I love you, but I'm out, I'm somean.
(41:48):
Jarvis, how much did he make?
No, I already looked it up.
It hasn't been disclosed.
In some states you don't haveto disclose it.
And look, I'm not trying tounderstand fully and completely
is I have done everything I wassupposed to do.
I haven't missed anything.
You know how, like peoplealways saying, oh well, the
reason why you haven't made ityet, or you is because you
(42:09):
didn't, maybe didn't try enough,or you didn't pray enough, or
you didn't trust in the Lordenough, I'm like I've done it
all, I've done it all.
Maybe you didn't network enough, maybe I'm like, no, I've done
it all.
And I think the day it turnedfor me this was a couple of
years ago, though, the day Istarted realizing I fixed one of
(42:29):
my clients credit, that creditreport, because I was able to
call at the time.
Right, I was being paid to takethe time to fix his credit
report.
It took a long time but alsowhen he needed to pay some stuff
.
So he had a really poor creditrating, like you know, five
something, maybe close to 600,but yeah, and this is somebody
who has millions of dollars, butno one was paying attention.
(42:51):
No one was paying attention.
Okay, so I called, called, wasable to make deals whatever, and
it took me like I don't knowlike two or three days, and
because he has money, I was ableto pay it off whatever, and
you're also able to get thosethings scrubbed off so much
quicker, especially if you havea lawyer helping you as well.
So, like within a month or two,his credit rating went from
(43:12):
being poor to being like 850.
I'm like that's all about money.
And then the rest of us are alllike what's my FICO score?
Can I get a loan?
So we were doing all this toget him a loan, so I helped with
the application, whatever, andhe was able to get like a
million dollar loan.
I'm like, wait, I've always hada steady, good 700, maybe dip
(43:39):
to like 690 or so, and now I'mweighing, like you know, almost
800.
And still I will apply for amother effing loan and get
denied.
And I'm like can I get $50,000?
And they're like, sorry, um,here are all the factors.
I'm like, just say I'm Paul andI'm black and I'm a woman.
(44:02):
Just say it.
But that's when I started tounderstand there's a whole
racket.
It's a whole racket.
If you're poor, you're lesslikely to get a break, and that
don't matter what color skin youare.
(44:23):
I think this has kind of been akind of fun conversation, which
is kind of what I wanted totalk about money or whatever.
But let me ask you just onelast question.
Well, two questions.
Do you guys loan people money?
Cynthia loaned me money before.
It was like $10,000.
Right, it was not that much ohwait, I'm laughing right.
(44:44):
Every time I tell the story,it's like she let me like
$100,000.
I forget how much it was at thetime, though it felt like
$10,000.
It felt like $10,000.
I was so sad and desperate.
Every time I tell the story,it's more money.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (45:05):
She was in front of me, right, because
she's like can I just borrow$1,000?
I was like is that all you need?
Like, do you need more?
And she's like what I was likedo you have?
I was like, how much was like,do you have I was?
Carmen Lezeth (45:16):
like how much motherfucking money do you have?
But here's a difference though.
In all fairness, I paid youright away.
I paid you back.
I did it in lump sums, but Ipaid you back right.
But that's different.
If people ask me to loan themmoney, it's hard.
I really I've done it.
Rick knows I've done it acouple of times and now I'm not
(45:38):
doing it to other people.
Don't ask me for money.
Let me just look right into thecamera.
Do not ask.
I don't have any money.
I know you think I do.
I don't have no money.
Okay, I don't loan money topeople.
Rick Costa (45:50):
Can I ask?
Carmen Lezeth (45:51):
Yeah.
Rick Costa (45:51):
Don't only show up for me when you need that money
oh very good.
Don't only show up for me whenyou need the money.
Where are you when you don'tneed the money?
Carmen Lezeth (46:04):
Oh, oh, drop that .
Oh, drop the mic.
Oh yeah, I mean, I think that'sthe thing, right.
It's kind of like I believethat if people need money, I'll
offer it and I'll give it tothem or whatever.
If I have it, I'll give it.
But loaning money is a touchyone because you're never going
to get it back.
It's rare if people get it back.
I don't know about Cynthia, butI have.
(46:26):
I have the reason why I learnedthis lesson, cause in the past
people would ask me for money,especially when I was working at
the company I was working atand making my buku money or
whatever, and people turnedaround and you know, oh, I'm
going to pay you back.
And then they wouldn't.
And I was like I didn't needthe money back then.
But don't tell me you're goingto pay me back when you're not
(46:47):
going to, when you don't have it.
You can't make that promise.
You don't know what's going tohappen.
So if I'm going to give peoplemoney, I just give it.
I don't do loans.
Rick Costa (46:56):
Yeah, I don't know how you can walk around knowing
you owe somebody money and justbe okay with it, Because I
remember my cousin let me borrowmoney and it took me years to
pay her back.
Carmen Lezeth (47:12):
And I'm like but every time I saw her I'm like I
felt bad just being in herpresence, knowing I owe her
money.
Okay, but that is an emotionalattachment to money, because I'm
sure she wasn't making you feelthat way.
No, but I felt bad I did thesame thing to Cynthia hey,
cynthia, how you doing?
I'm working, I'm going to payyou back.
She'd be like what are youtalking about?
She wouldn't even know what Iwas talking about.
That's our emotional attachmentto money, because we think
(47:34):
we're being defined by notpaying somebody back or by
having borrowed it or by havingsome loan out.
You know what I mean.
It's an interesting thing,right?
Okay, so let's just talk aboutthe last part.
If money didn't define yourworth, what would I know?
(48:00):
Money doesn't define your worth, but it does in a societal
sense.
So what do you think would be abetter way?
My beauty, I'm going to say myconviction, oh, your kindness,
okay, kindness, cynthia's, verykind, rick, what did you say?
Rick Costa (48:29):
I was going to say do you make and it doesn't have
to be big, but do you make theworld a better place?
Even if it's a small thing,even if you can help a small
amount of people, it's betterthan doing nothing.
You know, there was some kindof quote where somebody said I
can't, I can't give it, I needthe whole ocean to help people.
And they said, yeah, but canyou go and get a cup and help
(48:51):
that one person that needs it?
That's right.
Carmen Lezeth (48:56):
I think for me it's conviction.
I want to be who I am, nomatter what, no matter the
situation all the time, everyday, no matter what's happening
to me financially.
I'm going to try anyways.
We'll see.
I don't always hold up verywell, but we'll see what happens
in the next month or so.
Rick Costa (49:14):
Let's see how good I feel that.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (49:19):
All about the joy and black Listen.
Rick Costa (49:28):
We're changing the name to all about the
sponsorships.
Carmen Lezeth (49:32):
Have you people not joined my sub stack and give
me some money?
All right, have you people notjoined my sub stack and give me
some money?
There's a coffee link inaatjoycom.
Buy me a coffee, I'll be alllike.
You can't even watch it.
So people are going to be likeCarmen is through.
Yeah Well, thank you so muchfor having this conversation.
I think it was kind of lightand fun and a different take and
(49:54):
not you know what we always do,like let's talk fun and a
different take and not you knowwhat we always do, like let's
talk about budgets, let's talkabout you know?
It's just kind of like how dowe feel about money and who can
we be?
Who are we?
Where'd we come from with allthis money stuff?
And I hope it helps otherpeople to start talking about
money in their own lives too, oreven just reconsidering it.
Not having an emotionalattachment to money, not
(50:16):
defining yourself by money andjust feeling good about who you
are, no matter the circumstance.
I think that's the goal.
Rick Costa (50:22):
So you don't have to deal with it.
I don't care if you Democrat,republican, if you're white or
black.
You still got to deal with it.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (50:28):
Nope.
Carmen Lezeth (50:29):
Wish we didn't.
Just billionaires would helpother people.
But you know whatever that Justbillionaires would help other
people.
But you know whatever, that'sjust me.
But anyways, everyone, thankyou so much for hanging out.
And remember we are always onon Friday nights at our Friday
night lives and anyone can joinand hang out.
And that's Friday night, 6 pmPacific, 9 pm Eastern.
And we'll see you again nextweek.
(50:50):
Thanks again, bye everyone, andremember, at the end of the day
it really is all about the joy.
Bye, bye, thanks for stoppingby.
All About the Joy.
Be better and stay beautifulfolks, have a sweet day.
Hi everyone.
Welcome to All About the Joy,the Private Lounge, rick Costas
in the house and welcome backJust Cynthia.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (00:14):
I just saw that.
Carmen Lezeth (00:16):
I know she did that last time, though, because
I kept saying her name, I keptmessing with her last two names
like being ridiculous.
So now it's just Cynthia.
I think you should get that asa website, but that's just me.
So you know, I wanted to have aconversation just about and I
know it's not everyone'sfavorite topic, but I think it's
(00:36):
important.
Let me tell you what happenedthis week.
So all of you know that I amnow moving on from the workload
that I've had with all theseclients, primarily because of
the fires, but also it's justtime.
And so one person took me out tolunch the other day and said
you know, you're not evenfreaking out.
Why are you not stressed out?
Like, did you win the lotteryor something?
(00:58):
And I was like, yeah, I won thelottery and I'm sitting here
having lunch with you hopingthat you'll pay.
I won the lottery and I'msitting here having lunch with
you hoping that you'll pay.
But I think what he was gettingat was more about that it
doesn't really affect me, likeI'm not afraid, I'm not scared
or whatever, and that's moreabout just experience.
That has you know what I mean.
(01:18):
Like money comes, money goes,and you got to be able to deal
with that, especially whenyou're kind of what I do, which
is a freelancer I have my ownbusiness, like sometimes I have
so much work and then sometimesI don't have any, and so we're
in that low period right now,and so I started thinking about
how people process dealing withmoney, and I wanted to start by
(01:38):
asking I'm going to start withCynthia.
So do you remember a time,cynthia, when you felt you had
enough money, that you had anabundance of money?
When was that time, and whatdid it feel like it was?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (01:50):
actually during COVID I think it was
because, you know, we couldn'tgo anywhere, we couldn't spend
any money.
I was bringing lunch ratherthan buying food because, again,
you weren't sure who you couldtrust with your food.
So I definitely was spending alot less money during that time.
(02:13):
So I think I was that was thetime I had the most, to be
honest.
Carmen Lezeth (02:21):
Do you remember feeling?
Well, it's so weird that yousaid COVID Like most people were
freaking out during COVID.
But can I and again, anythingyou guys don't want to share?
You don't need to share at all.
I'm just going to ask questions.
You know what I mean.
So why did you have enoughmoney during COVID and everybody
else was suffering?
What were you doing?
(02:41):
Billionaire, I wish.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (02:45):
Honestly, like I said, I wasn't shopping,
I wasn't doing anything.
I'd go to work or I would stayhome and during that time, like
we would switch off every week.
So like one week I'd work fromhome so I wouldn't have to waste
gas, I'd have my food here athome, and then another week I'd
(03:06):
be in the office and again bringmy lunch and I was driving less
, using less gas, wasting lessmoney.
So my whole paycheck was justbasically going into my savings.
Carmen Lezeth (03:19):
So going into your savings.
It's so funny.
I love you with all my heart.
Everyone always tries to act asif I'm bougie and I have like
all this money.
I'm the one who's living likepaycheck to paycheck, cynthia's,
like I was just putting moneyinto my 401k and my savings and
(03:40):
investing in the video stockmarket Okay, cool.
So you felt really good and youfelt very comfortable during
COVID, which, I have to say, Idon't know anybody except you,
unless Rick, is going to tell meit was during COVID.
I'm going to lose my mind, rick.
When did you remember a timewhen you had more than enough?
Rick Costa (04:02):
The only time I felt like I was, I mean, I never,
never, had a lot, ever, ever.
But the only time I felt like Iwas slightly living large was
when I was very young, stillliving with, living with my
parents.
I had a job, no bills, therewas no such thing as cell phones
.
Back then, um, I would, I had,I had money to spend.
I got the most expensive,expensive TV, I got the most
(04:24):
expensive VCR.
I was like, yeah, I got themoney whatever and no concept of
saving money.
So, yeah, that's the only timeI really felt like you know, you
can buy whatever you want, butnow no.
Carmen Lezeth (04:37):
You know it's so weird because we don't really
appreciate when we were youngerunless we look back on it.
But when you're young and youdon't have all those bills and
you're just trying to figure outif you can get money to go hang
out and go to the club, and youknow, will I have enough money?
And I have to ask so-and-so,and blah, blah, blah, and that's
(04:57):
like your big priority.
You don't even understand whatit's like to have to actually
deal with.
You know, I have to pay myutility bill or my cell phone
bill, or it won't.
I won't have it if I don't payit.
You know?
Um, well, I I wrote my firstbook and that moment was a
(05:19):
moment when I realized I had waymore money than my mother ever
had in her entire life, and thatso, and I have no problem
telling people.
So at that time I was working,I was a partner at a company
that had started out with likeseven people and we grew really,
really big and I was part ofthat whole process.
I became a partner and I wasgetting a K one and for people
(05:41):
who don't know what a K one is,it's basically a bonus structure
.
You get a percentage of thecompanies and I had flown in
from New York I'll never forgetthis Came to my condo.
I had a $650,000 condo.
Cynthia, did you ever come to mycondo in Brentwood?
Shame, it was beautiful.
It was beautiful, it was verybeautiful.
But I had this condo and thething that was amazing about it
(06:05):
was and I like if there was evera time you would say I was a
minimalist, it was then becauseI had so much space and no
furniture and that's how I likedit.
But I had this amazing patiothat ran the entire length of
the condo, like one whole sidewas just all kind of glass and
beautiful windows and those oldshutters, you know, and it
(06:26):
overlooked the pool and Idefinitely had the best condo
out of the apartment complex orwhatever the condo complex.
And I say all this to give youa picture.
And I came home from New York, Iput my bags aside and all my
mail had been laid out for me bymy assistants back then this is
what I'm saying and I had beenworking in New York and had come
(06:50):
home and I was going through mymail and my K-1 check was there
.
So that was on top of my salaryat the time, which was like
$150,000, was like my salary,and then my K-1 check was like
another $120-something thousanddollars, right, because that's
how it works.
And I remember sitting on that,I had like a lounge chair and I
(07:13):
had all these beautiful flowers.
You know, I had somebody cometo do the flowers and water them
, so it was beautiful and youcan ask Baata and Andrea because
they came to the condo, yeah,and I sat there and I cried and
it was a mixture of complete andutter sadness and an
(07:36):
uncomfortableness, because Irealized in that moment that I
had made more money in one yearthan my mother had made her
entire life, probably more moneyin one year than my mother had
made her entire life, probably,you know.
And that's when I startedwriting the book, because I
started to realize I wouldn'teven be here if it wasn't for
all of these people, and so Istarted writing the letters and
that's how the book Canela cameto be?
Rick Costa (08:00):
Did you also think I wish my mom could see me now?
Carmen Lezeth (08:03):
No, okay, because and this is I mean.
I say that for a lot of reasons.
Number one I don't reallyremember my mom, I don't.
And then the other part of ittoo is I just because I had an
abundance of money doesn't meanI was happy because I wasn't.
Rick Costa (08:23):
I was miserable.
Carmen Lezeth (08:23):
Say that for the people in the back.
Let me say it again yeah, but Iwas.
I was, you know, I was workingridiculous amount of hours, I
was traveling back and forth toNew York.
I really wasn't spending thatmuch time with friends, or you
know what I mean Like I was andI was overwhelmed and I was
doing something I hate to do.
I mean, I was managing officesand doing all of this money
(08:48):
stuff, and just it was.
I wasn't happy.
So, no, I would have neverwanted my.
I think that's what the problemwas.
On the one hand, I had enoughmoney and abundance of money, on
the other hand, and I wassitting in this beautiful condo
that, by the way, I never wanted, never wanted, but I bought it
because back then, before thecrash came right, because in
(09:08):
2008, 2009, we had the financialcollapse and I lost my condo,
couldn't get work like everyoneelse.
So money is fleeting, it's veryfleeting, it comes and it goes,
but um why the apartment?
Rick Costa (09:25):
Or you didn't want it?
You said.
Carmen Lezeth (09:26):
Oh, I did not want to go.
So back then you were toldthank you for reminding me.
Back then you were always toldyou have to invest in property.
That was the big thing.
They don't do that now.
Nobody pressures you now.
But when I met with my businessmanager I had a business manager
back then they were like Carmen, you can't keep giving money
away.
You can't.
Like I would, I would buy, youknow, books for a classroom or I
(09:48):
would, and you can't write thatstuff off.
And I actually was like, yeah,I don't care, it's fine.
They're like no, no, but it'dbe better.
You got to invest and so Ibought this condo is beautiful
condo, but I never wanted to ownanything because it's just not
my thing.
It's not my thing.
It's not that I wouldn't ownanything in the future, but,
like my car, I'm gonna own it,I'm gonna keep it because I love
(10:11):
it.
And but I was just like beingforced to do something that I
didn't want to do.
So but that's why I want totalk about this, because even in
that moment and I was, I was so, I was so kind of glad but sad,
and you know that's why Istarted writing my book I wasn't
that happy, you know.
(10:31):
I wasn't full of um positivefeelings, except that I could.
I could easily pay my bills andhelp other people, you know.
And then the financial collapsehappened and I lost everything,
like everyone else did.
Rick Costa (10:48):
Did you have to sell it at a loss or no?
Carmen Lezeth (10:50):
I'm sorry.
Rick Costa (10:51):
Did you have to sell it at a loss or no?
Carmen Lezeth (10:53):
Oh, I totally sold it at a loss and I don't
mind sharing with people becauseI think people have to know
that I had to short sale it andthen I didn't even have any work
.
There was no way and a lot ofpeople had to go through this.
So I don't mind sharing thatinformation because I think
people need to understand howthings happen.
(11:13):
And are you a good person whenthings go bad?
Who are you when things arereally hard?
Rick Costa (11:24):
It also matters who are you when things?
Carmen Lezeth (11:26):
are great, you know, when you have an abundance
of money.
So when did you guys realizeyou were rich or poor?
When you were young?
I don't want to make anyassumptions.
I don't want to make anyassumptions in the room.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (11:39):
I am not rich at all.
Carmen Lezeth (11:43):
I am not rich at all no, cynthia, you're not rich
, but you are comfortable.
She's what comfortable.
I'm going to say I don't knowif it's comfortable, because you
(12:04):
could be much more comfortable,but Cynthia doesn't spend money
Like I will spend $1,000 on apair of shoes and be okay with
it, right, cynthia can wantthose same pair of shoes.
It ain't going to happen for nodollars.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (12:21):
I will buy the knockoffs Okay.
Carmen Lezeth (12:24):
And I would never .
I would rather not have theshoes and go without than buy
the knockoffs.
Yeah, that's where we'redifferent, that's where we're
different, right?
I remember we had aconversation about sorry about
bras.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (12:35):
Do you remember the conversation we had
?
Carmen Lezeth (12:37):
about bras.
Okay, wait, no, this is a greatRick.
We are mature adults here.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (12:42):
I actually bought a couple of the ones that
you suggested.
Carmen Lezeth (12:48):
Okay, let me just tell people first.
Here's the thing.
So I am not cheap when it comesto two types of clothing.
Shoes, really important to me,protect my feet, blah, blah,
blah.
I don't care, okay, whetherit's sneakers, it don't matter,
I'm not going to go cheap onthose.
And bras the girls will alwaysbe taken care of and I spend a
lot of money on my bras and Ialso wash them by hand, like.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (13:12):
Cynthia's like.
Carmen Lezeth (13:13):
I don't want to be bothered I throw mine in the
washing machine.
Right.
We had a conversation aboutbras and she was like, oh hell,
no, I'm not spending that kindof money on bras.
But you did.
You bought the bras.
I told you to try them.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (13:24):
Yeah, I do like them and you're feeling I
do like them.
They are comfortable.
Carmen Lezeth (13:31):
But do you see, the support is very different.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (13:33):
Oh yeah.
Carmen Lezeth (13:33):
Yeah, okay, okay.
So I'm just saying sometimesthere are things you get what
you pay for, absolutely yeah.
Yeah, I think shoes for me ismore about um, yeah, I mean,
there are some shoes you don'thave to spend that kind of money
on, but running sneakers youhave to.
You're going to be running,spend money on.
(13:55):
You know, I can't really talkabout my Jimmy shoes or my
poochies or other shoes, um, butI will say, when you buy a pair
of heels that are really wellmade, you can actually walk in
them, right, but are you walkingaround in stilettos every day?
Even in the days when I waswearing them all the time, I
(14:15):
wasn't you know what I mean.
So but I.
But here's where Cynthia and Iare the same.
I'm not going to go spend moneyI don't have, like, I'm not
going to be like you know what.
I'll figure out the rent laterOn.
That we are exactly the same,you know.
But, rick, what about you?
Rick Costa (14:32):
What about you?
What's the question?
Again, sorry.
Carmen Lezeth (14:36):
When did you realize that you were poor or
rich?
Don't want to make anyassumptions.
Maybe your family was verywealthy when you were little.
You lost it all in some crazy,you know, market crash or
something.
When did you know as a kid, doyou remember?
Rick Costa (14:51):
I mean, I think we always felt middle class always.
The only time I felt like youknow, oh, maybe we're a little
OK was because we lived in athree-family house and we had
tenants.
I was like, I don't know, wegot tenants, that's the money
coming in.
I was like I never felt like wewere rich still middle class,
(15:13):
but yeah, never felt neitherrich nor poor, just always right
.
Carmen Lezeth (15:15):
You know, it's so funny.
I used to think that you beinga landlord, he'd be rich in our
neighborhood, right, right.
Right, cynthia, we'd be like herich, like if you had a car, I
thought you were rich.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (15:25):
Oh, mm-hmm.
Carmen Lezeth (15:27):
Yep, like remember I think it was not, I
think it was the Martins theyhad a pool, they were rich, rich
, anybody who had a pool wasrich.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (15:35):
rich.
If you had a pool, it wasn'teven like an indoor pool, it
wasn't above ground or in groundground.
Carmen Lezeth (15:40):
you were rich, it doesn't matter rich it was
beautiful, but it was just funny.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (15:46):
It could have been a ball pool and you
still rich.
It doesn't matter rich because?
Carmen Lezeth (15:53):
because, if people were like, if you want to
come to the house to have, youknow, come, we're having a pool
party.
Be like a pool party like inthe city, what right?
Like so cool yeah, would belike.
So cool, yeah, Like.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (16:06):
I never felt like we were poor.
I mean like my mom always madesure we had what we needed.
You know what I mean, like wenever went without.
So I think probably like middleclass.
Like Rick said Never poor,never rich.
Carmen Lezeth (16:21):
We just had fun.
Yeah, I was poor, so we good, Imean, I had what I needed, but
I didn't have what I wanted.
And I think there's adifference.
And I think the definition forme of poor is also like and I
say this respectfully, but youknow we would go and get like.
You know I remember we'd waitin line and get cheese and like
(16:45):
milk products or whatever.
Yeah, we didn't have foodstamps, but we had the free
stuff that you would go to theschool and I would get free milk
in school.
So the reason why I know isbecause in my neighborhood and
again, you're, I don't want tosay, much younger than me, but
different generations, differentgenerations I think it's one of
the reasons why my mom passedaway so young actually I don't
(17:07):
have any evidence for this, butbecause she wouldn't ask for
help.
You know the pride,bullshittery, you know that
whole, you know.
I think that's why she didn'tget the help she needed.
She didn't get the medical helpshe needed, but like, there was
some weird pride about notgetting food stamps in the
neighborhood because peoplewould sell food stamps, right.
So there's, I don't know ifpeople understand what that
(17:29):
means, but like, if you havefood stamps.
You can only buy certain kindsof food on them.
They have to be certain foods,like milk or whatever, but you
can't buy I don't know candy, oryou can't buy diapers, or you
can't buy other things, at leastback then.
I don't know what happens now.
I don't know what happens now.
I don't know what happens now,but back then you couldn't.
Rick Costa (17:48):
So funny because I literally just saw a video
yesterday of these people thatwere.
I think it's called Snap.
I guess right.
Carmen Lezeth (17:54):
I think it's called Snap Benefits now.
Rick Costa (17:57):
And these people were bragging.
They were like at a Costco typeplace, you know those big
warehouse stores, filling up thecart and then at the end
they're like see, see how much Isaved.
It was like $600.
Like she didn't pay it becauseit's all on a snap card.
I'm like but why would you bragabout that?
It's kind of weird to me.
Carmen Lezeth (18:16):
Well, I mean, I think this is an interesting
part of this conversation.
I don't know if it's so much.
I mean, I don't know the videoyou're talking about and I
understand the sentiment, butlet me just finish one part
about selling food stamps andthen remind me if I forget.
So what people would do is theywould sell their food stamps so
they could get cash right, andthen they would turn around and
(18:39):
be able to buy the things thatthey wanted to buy.
You know what I mean.
So there would be this weirdexchange that would happen buy
the things that they wanted tobuy.
Rick Costa (18:46):
So they you know what I mean.
So there'd be this weirdexchange that would happen.
That's what made me rememberthat, because they were saying
that they'll sell.
They'll say let me, I'll giveyou $200 for $300 of your food
stamps, because they can't usethat money for liquor or
something that they want, sothey would do it because that's
the only way they could get itRight.
Carmen Lezeth (19:08):
That's the only way they could get it.
That's the only way we rememberthat at the first point.
So here's the thing that weneed to remember.
And again, I don't know thevideo you're talking about, but
there is this weird stigma aboutpeople who need help and get
help, because all we hear aboutare the people who turn around
and maybe abuse it or do thingslike this.
Okay, but the fact of thematter is, like everything else
on the planet, there are otherpeople like my mother, who I I
(19:29):
don't have evidence of this, butbecause of that behavior or
people have a perception did notget the healthcare, the help
she needed in order to survive.
So a 12 year old kid and otherchildren were left.
You know, you see what I'msaying?
Like there's a price to pay,and this was a woman who worked
(19:50):
every single day of her life andworked hard work and, before I
hear anything in the comments oremails, she was a fucking
citizen.
She was and it doesn't matter,don't come to me Ice Ridiculous
people, anyways.
But this is actually animportant conversation because I
(20:12):
want to do something.
I want us to start thinkingabout money very, very
differently.
I don't mean, I mean all of uswhen people are on any kind of
benefits or asking for help.
If you are a good and decentperson, you should help people.
You should help people and notthen turn around and say to them
(20:33):
, but you can only spend it onthis, this and this.
When you do that, you create theenvironment for people to live
in lack.
If you say to me, rick, can youhelp me with $500?
And I say yes, but you can onlyuse it to buy these things, how
(20:55):
does that make you feel Likeyou're going to be like why did
I freaking ask to begin with?
I feel I already felthumiliated to ask at first, and
now you're telling me I can onlydo so much with it.
And I need diapers for my kid,I need cream for my body, I need
I'd like to have a cup ofcoffee in the morning, but I
can't.
But you see what I mean.
(21:15):
We restrict people and peopleneed that stuff anyway.
So now what are they going todo?
When you are desperate, whenyou need something, when you are
living in a situation of lack,you're going to find a way to
get that stuff.
Hmm, and I think we need tostop, in this country especially
(21:51):
, but all over the world, thisidea that money, not one of
those people, are better thanany of the poorest people I have
ever known, associated with,worked with, been around, grew
up with at all.
Rick Costa (22:07):
Or happier not happier.
Carmen Lezeth (22:15):
But yeah, you know, it's just factual to me
that we need to stop puttingthat stigma on people about
being poor.
When were you deeply anxiousabout money?
Right now, I am anxious rightnow.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (22:33):
So the first time was when we were planning
our wedding.
Really, because at that time Ihad so much debt and we were
planning our wedding, so I was.
My anxiety was like through theroof, to the point like I'd be
sitting on my bed crying like,freaking out and Walt's like
(22:56):
calm down, like we'll figure itout, like don't worry the point.
Like I would be sitting on mybed crying like freaking out and
was like calm down, like we'llfigure it out, like don't worry,
um, we're doing peace, forgetthis crap, right?
Um.
So yeah, I mean that that wasthe first time and I think you
know, any time we're thinkingabout buying a house because we
do want to buy a house that toois also like can bring up some
(23:18):
time anxiety.
Anxiety because it's like themarket's not great, or you know
we don't make enough, or youknow there's always, there's
always something you still wantto buy a house?
Carmen Lezeth (23:30):
I do, yeah I.
I've owned property.
I never want to own it again.
I, at least not alone, I don't.
And I yeah that's a whole other, I guess private lounge.
I never will buy a piece ofproperty by myself, ever again,
unless I have like a like I dowin the lottery, like unless
(23:51):
because it's just too much workwould you would you?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (23:54):
purchase another property at that same
amount, or would it be less?
Is that what that is?
Carmen Lezeth (24:01):
Oh no, no, no, no .
Well, see, you weren't at mycondo so you don't know.
I had two floods.
So I lived there for four yearsand I had two floods because
somebody's thing broke above meor whatever.
Their water heater broke aboveme and it flooded the entire
place.
And then I had another floodbecause it came, we had a
rainstorm and it came throughwhatever, and and it was fine
(24:25):
because you know, I had themoney to deal with it, and but
you have to have all theseworkers and all these people and
somebody has to call them andmanage them.
And I was just like, oh my God,and here's the thing I was
going to buy.
This is the irony of irony.
So I used to work for this womanwho was old oil money.
We became friends.
I've talked about her in thepast, but we, you know, after I
had worked at this company, wewould go out, sometimes for
(24:47):
lunch, and sometimes she wouldinvite me to some of these
events and I would go to thesekind of private home, um art
collection places and I wantedto buy this $10,000 painting
that at the time I couldn'tafford it, but I was like, oh my
God, I want it for over themantle.
It'll bring the whole thingtogether, cause I had really no
furniture.
So it really was kind of this,really kind of beautiful piece.
(25:09):
And, long story short, she waslike you are not buying that
piece.
She was like you're not and Iwas like, but why?
She's like you need to live ina place for a year before you
buy or redecorate at all.
No, she was adamant.
I was like no, no, but I know,I know this.
She's like absolutely not.
Rick Costa (25:29):
I was like you ain't my mother, I need a foot of
feng shui.
Carmen Lezeth (25:32):
I was like you ain't my mother.
She was funny, but I was like,okay, I was just like, okay,
well, it's not like I have10,000, like no big deal, but
you know what I mean?
It's not like her kind of money.
To me it would have been areally big investment.
The flood came down throughthat wall and it would have
(25:53):
destroyed the entire thing, andI remember thinking like you
know what, Thank you, thank you,thank you, Thank you, thank you
.
Yeah, I'll never forget that.
Yeah, so I, yeah, I have nointerest, but I live where I
live.
So the answer is I'd probablyget a.
It depends.
I mean, I'm going to do it withsomebody.
(26:13):
So if they're like a very richsurgeon or something, you know,
sky's the limit.
Boo, no, I would.
Yeah, for me, I just need like,I would like a two bedroom and
I want to be.
I'm two blocks from the beach,but I want to be like facing the
beach.
I'm not facing the beach rightnow and I'd like to like wake up
(26:34):
in the morning, go out on mybalcony or veranda, whatever the
hell it's called, and have acup of coffee.
I'd like that.
That would be a dream come true.
And as much as I'm kiddingaround about a man.
I really don't want the man inmy house, I just want his money
and his ability to fix things.
Rick Costa (26:54):
Maybe a nice plastic surgeon.
Carmen Lezeth (26:59):
Maybe a nice plastic surgeon Meet a nice old
plastic surgeon.
Rick Costa (27:05):
It's like dying or something.
Carmen Lezeth (27:08):
Why are you making fun of this?
I would never get plasticsurgery.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (27:14):
Botox.
Can you see it?
Can you see it?
No, no, I was joking I'mself-conscious.
Rick Costa (27:17):
Can you see it?
Can you see it?
No?
Carmen Lezeth (27:19):
no, I was joking.
Now I'm self-conscious, can yousee it?
Rick Costa (27:21):
No no.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (27:22):
You're self-conscious.
Hello, I'm peeling.
Carmen Lezeth (27:26):
But, rick, what else were we talking about?
It's all your fault.
We got off topic.
Rick Costa (27:31):
We got derailed.
Carmen Lezeth (27:32):
Yeah, talk about my hot surgeon.
Rick Costa (27:36):
People that you know need help, and how your mom was
maybe too proud.
Carmen Lezeth (27:43):
Yeah, but we were talking about when did you
realize you were poor or rich?
You always knew that you weremiddle class.
What was the time you wereanxious about money and I said,
right now, Me too.
Now, right now.
Rick Costa (27:56):
Some people take the paycheck.
I'm living credit card tocredit card.
Carmen Lezeth (28:00):
I know, cynthia, you're Cynthia's like he, he, he
, he, he.
That's when you know the richpeople are in the room.
It's just good.
Rick Costa (28:09):
She's like I put everything in my savings account
.
What's the savings account?
Carmen Lezeth (28:13):
Okay, okay, seriously.
Do you have a good memory ofmoney, a time when money I wrote
about it in my book when mymother bought me my boots?
I think that will always besomething that I associate with,
uh, a moment where I knew wedidn't have it I was too young,
I didn't really understand, butI knew she didn't have it.
(28:34):
But that money got me a reallycool present.
Yeah and yeah, and there waslove in that, you know.
Yeah oh, you should already knowmine um, I should know yours,
when my mom took us to.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (28:49):
Disney, my first trip.
Carmen Lezeth (28:57):
Really Okay, that's cool, but you knew at
that time that you guys were.
No, that was a big deal.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (29:05):
It was a big deal.
Yeah, so she used to have thissock in my drawer, in my dresser
.
No one else knew about it, justme.
And every so often she wouldput money in there and she would
tell me don't tell anybody, shewould just wrap it up.
Never knew how much, just me.
And every so often she wouldput money in there and she would
tell me don't tell anybody, shewould just wrap it up.
Never knew how much was inthere.
And then one day she's likewe're going to Disney and she
(29:26):
grabbed that money and that'swhat she paid for Disney.
But was it just you and her?
It was me, her, audrey and Seanthe four of us.
Carmen Lezeth (29:36):
Not your other sister.
No, that's funny, rick.
Do you have one?
Do you have a moment where youremember a good feeling, that
money made you happy?
Rick Costa (29:51):
Mine's going to be like a little bit of a reverse,
because when I went to I was insecond grade and we went to
portugal and talk about cultureshock because this was not the
mainland, this was the azoresislands and they were still way
behind technologytechnologically.
So I was like that made me feellike I was rich.
(30:15):
Looking at how these peoplelived, I'm like no cars.
Carmen Lezeth (30:20):
Oh, okay.
Rick Costa (30:22):
Horses everywhere and they had some people had TVs
, but it was like one and a halfchannels.
What's one and a half channels?
One channel is 24-7.
The other channel is half a dayand that's it.
And I'm like I have a littlebrain going.
This is barbaric.
That made me feel like I wasrich.
(30:44):
These people that's actuallyreally interesting yeah, but I
love them as my family.
So, yeah, we still had fun.
Carmen Lezeth (31:02):
What does it mean to each of you to have an
emotional attachment to money?
I don't think.
I really do.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (31:11):
No one thinks they do, by the way, but
everyone does.
Carmen Lezeth (31:12):
Everyone does.
I'll tell you why.
I mean, I think it's aninteresting thing and I actually
give Teresa credit for this,because when I first moved to
Los Angeles I was by myself, Ididn't know anybody.
I think I've mentioned thisbefore.
I did light housekeeping forfree room and board for a
gentleman, an older gentleman,his name was Mr Nasha, may he
(31:34):
rest in peace but he wasoffering that for students in
the area or whatever, and Iwasn't a student, but he allowed
me to stay there.
And I remember one night all Ihad in the room, in the little
like there's an extra room off,like the patio or whatever, and
it was a mattress that I boughtfor myself.
I had a TV that I bought, asmall TV that I bought for
(31:56):
myself because priorities, wellno, but I mean I did.
I bought a TV and then, you know, I had my clothes or whatever,
and I remember sitting there andI had been, I had been cleaning
the bathroom and the kitchen orwhatever, and I went into my
room and I was crying because Irealized I had a bachelor's
(32:17):
degree and I was still doing thesame job my mother was doing
and I got really upset and I wascrying and I was having one of
those, like you know, when youcry and you can't breathe,
you're like you know what I meanand I talked to.
I talked to Teresa the next daybecause I was so upset about it
or maybe it was that night.
I called her and we had thiswhole conversation and she said
and I give her credit for thisshe said you cannot have an
(32:40):
emotional attachment to money.
Money is not who you are, itwill.
It doesn't matter if you haveit or you don't have it, it will
never define you, never.
And I was like, okay, but I'mstill a housekeeper, but that's
stuck in me because,unfortunately, I'm sorry she
(33:02):
still lives by that thing.
Oh no, of course.
I mean that's her whole ethos.
I mean, I think that's thething.
Is that money in a lot ofdifferent ways the way we dress,
the way we, where we eat, whatwe buy, what we do does define
us.
So it's hard for it not tobecome part of our emotional
(33:23):
ethos.
But you have to fight againstit.
You really have to push thataside because, I'm telling you,
you become a much more settledhuman being when money doesn't
dictate your emotional happinessand joy.
That's why me not having workisn't bothering me so much,
because I know I'll be okay andI always kid around and say I've
(33:45):
been homeless before, I'll behomeless again.
I'm fine with it.
Like it bothers other peoplewhen I say that, but I'm like I
ain't worried about it.
Plus, I know way too manypeople whose couches I can sleep
on.
Hello, my friends.
But worst case scenario I meanif you have people, you have
real love, you have realconnections in your life, that's
(34:06):
wealth.
Rick Costa (34:07):
Yeah, a hundred percent Agree, I know.
Carmen Lezeth (34:12):
How do you guys feel about billionaires Any
billionaire?
Do you want to aboutbillionaires?
Any billionaire.
Do you want to be a billionaire?
Rick Costa (34:19):
No, Unless I can constantly give it away.
Carmen Lezeth (34:27):
How do you feel about billionaires?
Should there be billionaires?
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (34:30):
Yes, I mean, if they make it and they earned
it, I mean, hey, did they makeit, did they earn it?
Some do, some don't, most ofthem don't, but I mean I don't
really know one to even know howI feel about them.
Carmen Lezeth (34:49):
I think I've said this before.
I think money doesn't make youa better person.
It doesn't make you a goodperson.
It just gives you more choices,but it doesn't make you a
wonderful human being and itdoesn't make you able to
function better in society.
(35:10):
Okay, money don't buy classeither, and I ain't going to
diss no one here, but I think weall know what I'm talking about
.
It does not buy you class.
I know people who ain't gotnothing and have more class than
people who have tons of money.
So I honestly don't think.
Here's what I'll say.
(35:30):
I don't care if there arebillionaires and people have
tons of money.
Oprah's a billionaire, markCuban's a billionaire, warren
Buffett's a billionaire arebillionaires and people have
tons of money.
Oprah's a billionaire, markCuban's a billionaire, warren
Buffett's a billionaire.
These are people who have tonsof money.
That I don't hate.
Like you, do you.
You earned your money, do yourthing.
But there should not be in thisworld not even just this
country in this world people whohave no food or a home.
(35:53):
People who have no food or ahome.
I don't know how I could existon the planet knowing that I
have so much money and so manypeople have nothing.
And I'm not saying it's likeOprah's job to fix the homeless
problem, but I'm just sayingwhen you think about it that way
(36:16):
, it feels cruel, it feels weirdto me.
Rick Costa (36:23):
Yeah, walking right by people that are suffering
horribly and you could dosomething.
Carmen Lezeth (36:27):
Yeah, I think of Star Trek, next generation.
Right, we always talk aboutthat.
Cynthia, I'm sorry, you canjust stand.
You know, just go over therefor a minute.
Me and Rick will have thisconversation, but in that world
it isn't about money.
There's no money happening backand forth.
Now there is still a powerstructure, there is still the
dynamics that happen, but thisidea that I have to pay
(36:50):
something to do this or whatever, it's a very different system.
So I want people to be asabundant as they want to be, or
earn or whatever it is, or theirfamily gives them, or like.
I can't be mad at people whoare born into wealth.
I wish I was.
I wish I had been born.
I'd like to see that.
(37:10):
I'd like to see that storyline.
Try one time Exactly.
Rick Costa (37:13):
I'd like to do that storyline please.
Carmen Lezeth (37:16):
You need to try one time Exactly.
I'd like to do the other kindof struggling.
I would like to be a richperson who struggles to try to
find happiness.
I would like to do that.
Can we do that?
We can still have all about thejoy, but I think what breaks my
(37:38):
heart is the idea that thereare so many people in the one
percent and so many people thathave nothing or struggle so hard
to have just a little bit, andto me that feels off as far as
being a good species yeah, well,I agree, yeah, there was a.
Rick Costa (37:54):
I think there was a.
I think it was next generation,because voyager did something
species.
Yeah, I agree, I think it wasNext Generation because Voyager
did something similar too.
I remember Captain Picardspecifically talked to somebody.
Carmen Lezeth (38:05):
I can never say Star Trek, because then the boy
has to talk about an episode.
Go ahead, babe, do your thing.
Rick Costa (38:10):
Picard was talking to somebody, I believe, from the
past, and the guy was like whatdo you mean?
You don't have money, what doyou mean?
You don't buy things.
And he's like, oh, that's allpast, we don't do that Now.
We just try to find our callingand do something that's going
to benefit us in humanity.
Carmen Lezeth (38:27):
It's never going to happen in my lifetime.
Rick Costa (38:29):
How he was just dumbfounded.
Carmen Lezeth (38:31):
Well, because, and that's never going to happen
in our lifetime.
But imagine, I mean, what wouldit feel like, right?
What would it feel like to nothave to work for money, but
instead work for your passion?
Rick Costa (38:43):
yeah, if everybody got to do that I mean imagine.
Carmen Lezeth (38:50):
That life the world would be transformed, and
here's the thing, pete, you knowI love gary v, but gary v will
be transformed.
And here's the thing, Pete, youknow I love Gary Vee, but Gary
Vee will be like you have totake the risk, you have to.
I'm like bitch, I have to payrent.
You know what I mean?
That's what I have to do.
Okay, I need to eat at leastonce a day.
I just and you know, I love him, I think he's great.
(39:14):
But this idea that because youdon't do that, you don't risk
being homeless, to try to.
And here's the thing the otherday I saw him on um, on some Tik
TOK or whatever, and I didn'trealize this, but he's won the
lottery twice.
Rick Costa (39:31):
Really, I've never knew that oh wow, I didn't know
that either.
Carmen Lezeth (39:35):
And all of a sudden I was like and now I'm
done with you, give me a hundredgrand.
And I think what he won wasn'tlike millions although it's
never been disclosed because youknow, I tried to Google it but
he admitted to winning one whenhe was younger and it was like
$3,000.
But can you imagine being youngand winning?
That's like winning $100,000.
(39:56):
But he hasn't disclosed whatthe other amount is.
And I'm like see, this is whatI'm talking about and I'm not
saying everybody who'ssuccessful has gotten money or
whatever.
But you do not becomesuccessful by yourself.
If you have nothing, you do notmake it on your own.
(40:17):
I don't care who you are.
I don't care who you arebecause without your fans,
without people who want tolisten to you or watch you or
whatever it is, if people aren'tinterested in what you're doing
, if somebody doesn't have yourback when you fail so that you
can get up, brush off and maybestart over, it's really not that
(40:37):
easy.
Rick Costa (40:39):
Yeah, I mean, even if you're making the most
amazing product in the world,who's going to buy it?
Somebody's got to buy it.
Carmen Lezeth (40:46):
Somebody's got to buy it.
Yeah, and I'm not trying todiss other people, but it's like
when I heard that it totallyand I love Gary Vee, I think
he's really good at what he does, and I love Gary Vee, I think
he's really good at what he doesbut I was like all of a sudden
like, oh my God, of course, ofcourse, you did Not to mention
that he has a good familysupport.
So already I was like, allright, I already feel less than
because I have never had thatmajor family support.
(41:07):
You know, because his father isa winemaker, right, you know,
and like that's how he startedselling wine.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (41:18):
So it's not like he was.
He wasn't poor and he wasn'tmiddle-class.
Carmen Lezeth (41:20):
He had a little bit of money, a little bit.
You know what I mean.
But I was still like don'tmatter, you can't take away from
his brilliance because hedidn't make his money from the
wine business.
I was like, okay, but now youtell it, Now you trip and
telling me, you won the lottery.
Come on now, I'm out, I'm out.
I love you, but I'm out, I'm somean.
(41:48):
Jarvis, how much did he make?
No, I already looked it up.
It hasn't been disclosed.
In some states you don't haveto disclose it.
And look, I'm not trying tounderstand fully and completely
is I have done everything I wassupposed to do.
I haven't missed anything.
You know how, like peoplealways saying, oh well, the
reason why you haven't made ityet, or you is because you
(42:09):
didn't, maybe didn't try enough,or you didn't pray enough, or
you didn't trust in the Lordenough, I'm like I've done it
all, I've done it all.
Maybe you didn't network enough, maybe I'm like, no, I've done
it all.
And I think the day it turnedfor me this was a couple of
years ago, though, the day Istarted realizing I fixed one of
(42:29):
my clients credit, that creditreport, because I was able to
call at the time.
Right, I was being paid to takethe time to fix his credit
report.
It took a long time but alsowhen he needed to pay some stuff
.
So he had a really poor creditrating, like you know, five
something, maybe close to 600,but yeah, and this is somebody
who has millions of dollars, butno one was paying attention.
(42:51):
No one was paying attention.
Okay, so I called, called, wasable to make deals whatever, and
it took me like I don't knowlike two or three days, and
because he has money, I was ableto pay it off whatever, and
you're also able to get thosethings scrubbed off so much
quicker, especially if you havea lawyer helping you as well.
So, like within a month or two,his credit rating went from
(43:12):
being poor to being like 850.
I'm like that's all about money.
And then the rest of us are alllike what's my FICO score?
Can I get a loan?
So we were doing all this toget him a loan, so I helped with
the application, whatever, andhe was able to get like a
million dollar loan.
I'm like, wait, I've always hada steady, good 700, maybe dip
(43:39):
to like 690 or so, and now I'mweighing, like you know, almost
800.
And still I will apply for amother effing loan and get
denied.
And I'm like can I get $50,000?
And they're like, sorry, um,here are all the factors.
I'm like, just say I'm Paul andI'm black and I'm a woman.
(44:02):
Just say it.
But that's when I started tounderstand there's a whole
racket.
It's a whole racket.
If you're poor, you're lesslikely to get a break, and that
don't matter what color skin youare.
(44:23):
I think this has kind of been akind of fun conversation, which
is kind of what I wanted totalk about money or whatever.
But let me ask you just onelast question.
Well, two questions.
Do you guys loan people money?
Cynthia loaned me money before.
It was like $10,000.
Right, it was not that much ohwait, I'm laughing right.
(44:44):
Every time I tell the story,it's like she let me like
$100,000.
I forget how much it was at thetime, though it felt like
$10,000.
It felt like $10,000.
I was so sad and desperate.
Every time I tell the story,it's more money.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (45:05):
She was in front of me, right, because
she's like can I just borrow$1,000?
I was like is that all you need?
Like, do you need more?
And she's like what I was likedo you have?
I was like, how much was like,do you have I was?
Carmen Lezeth (45:16):
like how much motherfucking money do you have?
But here's a difference though.
In all fairness, I paid youright away.
I paid you back.
I did it in lump sums, but Ipaid you back right.
But that's different.
If people ask me to loan themmoney, it's hard.
I really I've done it.
Rick knows I've done it acouple of times and now I'm not
(45:38):
doing it to other people.
Don't ask me for money.
Let me just look right into thecamera.
Do not ask.
I don't have any money.
I know you think I do.
I don't have no money.
Okay, I don't loan money topeople.
Rick Costa (45:50):
Can I ask?
Carmen Lezeth (45:51):
Yeah.
Rick Costa (45:51):
Don't only show up for me when you need that money
oh very good.
Don't only show up for me whenyou need the money.
Where are you when you don'tneed the money?
Carmen Lezeth (46:04):
Oh, oh, drop that .
Oh, drop the mic.
Oh yeah, I mean, I think that'sthe thing, right.
It's kind of like I believethat if people need money, I'll
offer it and I'll give it tothem or whatever.
If I have it, I'll give it.
But loaning money is a touchyone because you're never going
to get it back.
It's rare if people get it back.
I don't know about Cynthia, butI have.
(46:26):
I have the reason why I learnedthis lesson, cause in the past
people would ask me for money,especially when I was working at
the company I was working atand making my buku money or
whatever, and people turnedaround and you know, oh, I'm
going to pay you back.
And then they wouldn't.
And I was like I didn't needthe money back then.
But don't tell me you're goingto pay me back when you're not
(46:47):
going to, when you don't have it.
You can't make that promise.
You don't know what's going tohappen.
So if I'm going to give peoplemoney, I just give it.
I don't do loans.
Rick Costa (46:56):
Yeah, I don't know how you can walk around knowing
you owe somebody money and justbe okay with it, Because I
remember my cousin let me borrowmoney and it took me years to
pay her back.
Carmen Lezeth (47:12):
And I'm like but every time I saw her I'm like I
felt bad just being in herpresence, knowing I owe her
money.
Okay, but that is an emotionalattachment to money, because I'm
sure she wasn't making you feelthat way.
No, but I felt bad I did thesame thing to Cynthia hey,
cynthia, how you doing?
I'm working, I'm going to payyou back.
She'd be like what are youtalking about?
She wouldn't even know what Iwas talking about.
That's our emotional attachmentto money, because we think
(47:34):
we're being defined by notpaying somebody back or by
having borrowed it or by havingsome loan out.
You know what I mean.
It's an interesting thing,right?
Okay, so let's just talk aboutthe last part.
If money didn't define yourworth, what would I know?
(48:00):
Money doesn't define your worth, but it does in a societal
sense.
So what do you think would be abetter way?
My beauty, I'm going to say myconviction, oh, your kindness,
okay, kindness, cynthia's, verykind, rick, what did you say?
Rick Costa (48:29):
I was going to say do you make and it doesn't have
to be big, but do you make theworld a better place?
Even if it's a small thing,even if you can help a small
amount of people, it's betterthan doing nothing.
You know, there was some kindof quote where somebody said I
can't, I can't give it, I needthe whole ocean to help people.
And they said, yeah, but canyou go and get a cup and help
(48:51):
that one person that needs it?
That's right.
Carmen Lezeth (48:56):
I think for me it's conviction.
I want to be who I am, nomatter what, no matter the
situation all the time, everyday, no matter what's happening
to me financially.
I'm going to try anyways.
We'll see.
I don't always hold up verywell, but we'll see what happens
in the next month or so.
Rick Costa (49:14):
Let's see how good I feel that.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (49:19):
All about the joy and black Listen.
Rick Costa (49:28):
We're changing the name to all about the
sponsorships.
Carmen Lezeth (49:32):
Have you people not joined my sub stack and give
me some money?
All right, have you people notjoined my sub stack and give me
some money?
There's a coffee link inaatjoycom.
Buy me a coffee, I'll be alllike.
You can't even watch it.
So people are going to be likeCarmen is through.
Yeah Well, thank you so muchfor having this conversation.
I think it was kind of lightand fun and a different take and
(49:54):
not you know what we always do,like let's talk fun and a
different take and not you knowwhat we always do, like let's
talk about budgets, let's talkabout you know?
It's just kind of like how dowe feel about money and who can
we be?
Who are we?
Where'd we come from with allthis money stuff?
And I hope it helps otherpeople to start talking about
money in their own lives too, oreven just reconsidering it.
Not having an emotionalattachment to money, not
(50:16):
defining yourself by money andjust feeling good about who you
are, no matter the circumstance.
I think that's the goal.
Rick Costa (50:22):
So you don't have to deal with it.
I don't care if you Democrat,republican, if you're white or
black.
You still got to deal with it.
Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (50:28):
Nope.
Carmen Lezeth (50:29):
Wish we didn't.
Just billionaires would helpother people.
But you know whatever that Justbillionaires would help other
people.
But you know whatever, that'sjust me.
But anyways, everyone, thankyou so much for hanging out.
And remember we are always onon Friday nights at our Friday
night lives and anyone can joinand hang out.
And that's Friday night, 6 pmPacific, 9 pm Eastern.
And we'll see you again nextweek.
(50:50):
Thanks again, bye everyone, andremember, at the end of the day
it really is all about the joy.
Bye, bye, thanks for stoppingby.
All About the Joy.
Be better and stay beautifulfolks, have a sweet day.
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.