July 20, 2025 • 20 mins
Have you ever felt inadequate because your approach to organization doesn't match someone else's perfectly color-coded calendar? You're not alone—and you're not doing anything wrong.
Carmen opens up about her own highly organized tendencies while emphasizing a revolutionary idea: your authentic self is the perfect foundation for any positive change. Whether you make your bed daily or embrace a more spontaneous approach to life, your unique methods aren't flawed—they're simply yours. The key to meaningful change isn't in dramatic transformations but in small, sustainable adjustments that honor who you truly are.
Drawing from personal experiences—from her dancing career to her journey quitting smoking—Carmen shares practical wisdom about incremental change. Rather than setting ourselves up for failure with overwhelming goals, she suggests simple strategies: park farther from store entrances, take stairs instead of elevators when possible, or commit to just three days of a new habit. These minor adjustments don't disrupt your life but gradually build toward lasting improvements. The timeline for habit formation varies widely between individuals, so patience and persistence matter more than speed.
Most importantly, remember that you are "uniquely brilliant" exactly as you are. Everyone struggles with something, and the path to improvement isn't about fixing perceived flaws but enhancing your existing gifts. As Carmen beautifully reminds us, "You're not here by mistake. You're here on purpose." From this foundation of self-acceptance, every small step forward becomes a celebration rather than an obligation. Join us live on Friday nights at 6pm Pacific/9pm Eastern, and don't miss our Sunday interviews and discussions!
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Music By Geovane Bruno, Moments, 3481
Editing by Team A-J
Host, Carmen Lezeth
DISCLAIMER: As always, please do your own research and understand that the opinions in this podcast and livestream are meant for entertainment purposes only. States and other areas may have different rules and regulations governing certain aspects discussed in this podcast. Nothing in our podcast or livestream is meant to be medical or legal advice. Please use common sense, and when in doubt, ask a professional for advice, assistance, help and guidance.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carmen Lezeth (00:01):
Hi everyone, welcome to All About the Joy.
This is Carmen Talk.
A few weeks ago we went throughkind of a mailbag and I was
(00:23):
telling Rick and Cynthia kind ofa mailbag and I was telling
Rick and Cynthia some of thethings that people were asking
questions about or commenting.
And I do get quite a bit ofmail.
Some of it is not good when Isay mail I mean emails but some
of it is actually askingquestions and although I try to
answer them, what I realize ismaybe some of this information
(00:45):
is something that might helpother people.
So one of the questions and I'mjust going to do this in little
bits because I think it mightbe helpful, and if it's not,
that's okay too but in thisepisode what I want to talk
about is how do you become moreorganized?
Look it, I'm going to say thisand I'm going to say it from
like the bottom of my heart I amoverly organized.
(01:08):
I have a calendar which iscolor-coded and is pretty much
detailed throughout the day, andif somebody were to look at
that they'd be like oh my God,carmen is crazy, which is kind
of true, but it is who I am.
I have always been veryorganized.
I am one of those people that,since I was a little kid, I make
(01:32):
my bed every single day.
Even to this day, even if noone is going to be coming into
my home, my apartment is alwaysin perfect condition.
It's always perfectly organized.
The reason why I'm stressingthis so much is because there
are bad parts to that too.
Although I do like spontaneity,I'm not really someone who,
(01:56):
like I, don't really love it iswhat my point is.
I mean, I can be spontaneous,but I really do have things
really organized.
So the reason why I'm sharingthis with all of you is just
because you're not organizedlike somebody else, or just
because you're not like someoneelse doesn't mean the way in
(02:16):
which you do things is bad.
Does that make sense?
So if you don't make your bedevery day and you don't have a
color-coded calendar that hasevery single minute of your day
outlined, that's okay.
There is nothing wrong for youbeing your absolute best, being
(02:37):
your authentic self.
So don't get it twisted right.
Don't get it confused thatsomehow, because you don't do
something the way someone elsedoes it, you're doing it wrong.
Actually, I would say that'snot the problem at all.
I'm going to give you some tipson how to maybe incorporate
things into your life thatyou're not doing right now.
(02:57):
That will be easy for you, butwhat I really want to stress and
what's really important, isauthenticity and that who you
are is perfect, exactly the wayyou are.
What we all want to do is justget better, right?
I want to be better about beingmore spontaneous.
I want to be better about maybenot having to make my bed every
(03:19):
morning because, you know, Idon't know.
See, I still don't thinkthere's a reason not to do that,
because you know I don't know,see, I still don't think there's
a reason not to do that.
But I'm just saying we all canimprove, but within our own way
in which we do things, not tochange who we are, but to make
ourselves better human beings,which I think, kind of, is the
point right.
So here's the thing, the wayyou can incorporate.
(03:43):
So this specific email thatsomebody sent me was they want
to start working out and theyknow that in the past I've done
marathons and 10Ks and mud runs,and after I couldn't dance for
a long time once I realized thatmy dancing quote unquote career
was over.
I had to make some changes andone of those changes was I ended
(04:04):
up going to college, eventhough I never had any intention
of going to college or eventhought about it.
But you know that was thetrajectory and I had hurt my hip
and it got really bad.
And so when I went to college,I met someone on campus and she
used to run all the time and shewas like, carmen, you could do
(04:25):
it.
And you know I couldn't run atall, but I, oh, it always stayed
in the back of my head so Iwould do these long walks and
little by little, I startedrunning.
So my working out situation, thereason why I got so into
working out on a regular basiswas because I had always worked
out as a kid.
Whether I was dancing, you know, whether I was performing in
(04:48):
Color Garden Drum Corps, whetherI was, you know, part of
Batutera or whatever it is like,whatever we want to talk about,
I was always doing somethingthat was about movement and body
and whatever.
So the idea that I would everstop, that is really, really
hard.
The idea that I would ever stop, that is really, really hard.
And I gravitated towardsrunning, not because I love it,
(05:09):
but because it was a way inwhich I could keep working out.
Okay, so I, how do you get intoexercising if you haven't been
doing it, if you weren't broughtup as a dancer or an athletic
person?
How do you do that?
Because we all want to behealthy.
Right, it's a tough one.
Here's what I would suggest.
(05:30):
Number one not everyone needsto be a runner and, like I just
mentioned, I hated running.
I still hate running.
So think about what it is youwant to do.
There are so many differentways in which you can work out
if that's your goal, but this isreally about incorporating
anything you want to start doingin your life.
(05:52):
So this is the way you do it.
You don't turn around and startcolor coding your calendar and
doing every single day of howyou're going to spend your
minute, because you will fail.
I promise you.
You will fail because we can'tchange the trajectory of who we
are quickly.
It takes time, and I thinkthere's some statistic, and I'm
(06:13):
not sure how actual this is, butthere's something about it
taking 21 days for you todevelop a habit.
So, if it takes 21 days for youto develop a habit, what I
would say is because I don'tknow if that's really true, I
don't know if it takes me 21days.
It might actually take melonger.
On some things it might takelike, for example, I used to
(06:36):
smoke, which I know people findthat to be weird but it did not
take me 21 days to stop smoking.
It took me not being aroundpeople who smoked and it, you
know, it was me moving.
I didn't move to Californiabecause I wanted to stop smoking
, but the fact that I moved hereand didn't know anybody was
really helpful because all thepeople I hung around with so
(06:58):
that wasn't 21 days right Tobreak a habit, to develop a new
habit, because I like to see thepositives, not the negatives
right.
So what I would say is,regardless of whatever that
statistic is because you are aunique individual it might take
you three days, it might justtake you three days, it might
take you two months, it doesn'tmatter.
It's all about the intentionand the try, and every time you
(07:20):
fail, you've got to get rightback up.
So that's the trick Doesn'tmatter how many times you fail,
as long as you keep getting upand starting over again and I'm
saying that more for me than anyof you right now, but that is
really true.
Okay, so here's what you do Ifyou want to start working out
and you don't have time.
Because here's the thing Peoplethink about exercising it's like
(07:43):
I have to drive to the gym, soI have to get my bag together, I
have to drive to the gym, Ihave to be at the gym for at
least an hour, get on thetreadmill, do weights blah, blah
, blah, whatever.
Take the yoga class blah, blah,blah, whatever.
And then I have to get back inmy car, go back home, get
dressed and go to work.
That's a lot of time.
That's a lot of time, and Ihave to tell you it's not
necessary.
It's not necessary, not at thebeginning of this process at all
(08:06):
.
You want to get to the placewhere you're so excited to go to
the gym and spend all that timethat you do it not because you
have to, but because it's becomepart of your ethos, right, it
becomes part of who you is andwho you are.
So what?
I would say?
The way to start this reallysimple incorporate it into your
everyday life already, whereyou're only adjusting a few
(08:29):
minutes of things a day.
So this is how I would tell youto start.
Okay, when you go to the grocerystore to buy food, do not park
as close as you can to the doorsof the grocery store.
I know this is going to soundso obvious, but I'm telling you
this will help you.
Okay, park as far away aspossible.
(08:52):
No more drive-thrus.
If you're going to go to adrive-thru to pick up your
coffee no more drive-thrus.
You need to park and walk toyour Starbucks.
Or.
I'm not promoting Starbucks.
I don't go to Starbucks.
I know nothing about Starbucks.
I'm just I know people do this.
They go through the drive-thru.
So, whatever coffee shop you goto, no more of that.
(09:14):
You know you park your car andyou walk into the area.
Do little things like that.
If you have company parking andit's really close to where you
start, parking in the publicvisitor parking park, somewhere
far away before you go into work.
If you're going to the doctor'soffice, all of the places where
(09:35):
you can walk more often do that.
Here's a big one that I do allthe time.
I've been doing it forever.
Do not take escalators anymore.
Do not take elevators.
Now, don't be ridiculous, Idon't want to get the emails.
Well, I can't go up 18 flightsof stairs or whatever.
Okay, no one's saying that.
Okay, no one is saying you needto do that, but what you can do
(09:59):
is go up four flights of stairs, or three flights of stairs,
and then take the elevator fromthere.
Right, what you want to startdoing is incorporating exercise
into your everyday life inminutes, in little minutes,
instead of trying to do threehours of a chunk of a day before
you go to work or after you goto work.
I would say that would be thebetter way to do it.
(10:21):
Let me tell you something Inever take an elevator.
I mean, again, I live in LosAngeles, so we don't have a lot.
I mean we do in downtown LA,but there's not a lot of
buildings that are over five orsix floors where I live or where
I am in.
So me walking upstairs is areally good thing and I'll take
the elevator down because, youknow, going downstairs kind of
(10:41):
scares me a bit, especially, youknow, if you have knee issues
or hip issues, like I do, youwant to be careful.
But even now when I go to doexercising, I don't run anymore,
right, I actually go for a nicewalk and then I go up the
stairs here in Santa Monica andI go down the stairs or down a
ramp and then up the stairsagain, and I do them slowly and
(11:02):
with intention.
These are simple ways in whichyou can start incorporating
moments and getting moreorganized and getting involved
with working out a little bit.
If you want to try to put timeaside for yourself to either
work out or have what I call metime, you can do that too.
(11:23):
You can do that too.
It can be something.
Just do one thing and say I'mgoing to commit to this for the
next three days.
Don't make it a week, don't makeit 15 days, and do it like a
Friday, saturday and Sunday,when you know you'll be able to
accomplish that change in yourschedule.
Right, turn around and say toyourself okay, I am going to get
(11:46):
up, I'm going to have my coffeeand then, from 8 to 8.30 or 8
to 8.20, I'm going to take awalk around the block, or from 8
to 8.30, I'm going to walk onmy treadmill or whatever it is
you have, you know.
Or maybe you're going to decidethat when you get up from 8 to
(12:06):
8.30, you know, after you haveyour coffee or whatever, and
it's a Saturday morning orwhatever you're going to just
sit and be, take that time to beall about you and think about
what it is you want to do forthe rest of the week,
intentionally, without your cellphone, without the TV on,
without anybody interrupting you.
These are the ways in which youcan become more quote unquote
(12:31):
organized when you start doingthings with intention and doing
them in little bits and piecesand not trying to change your
entire existence because youthink somebody else is doing it
better than you, because you areso unique.
We are all such uniqueindividuals and what we don't
(12:53):
realize, what we don't seem tograsp on a regular basis, is
everybody is struggling throughsomething.
We're all trying to walkthrough life as best we can, and
even if you think I'm doingsomething better than somebody
else's, I'm over here thinkingyou're doing something better
(13:15):
than I'm doing.
You know what I mean.
We're all trying to be our bestselves and you have to be able
to sit with that for a minuteand understand how uniquely
beautiful and amazing andbrilliant you are, just to be
here.
You see what I'm saying.
So don't okay.
So let's summarize.
(13:35):
Let's summarize a little bit.
Stop knocking yourself down asif you're not doing something
great and brilliant, just byexisting because you are,
whatever your situation is inyour life, that is your journey.
That is the journey that youare on.
You have choices, whether youbelieve it or not, you have
(13:57):
choices to make in order foryour life to be the way in which
you want it to be.
And the way your life is rightnow is because you have chosen
to be in it.
It might be too scary to moveon, it might be a responsibility
you have that you can't move on, or you can't move through it,
(14:18):
but again, it's still a choice.
Okay, there are choices andwith those choices, within those
choices, you can still make thechanges you want to make in
order to be your best self.
Do them incrementally.
Do them in tiny, small ways.
Don't try to change everythingovernight, because I have to
tell you ways.
Don't try to change everythingovernight, because I have to
(14:40):
tell you that's how you failwhen we try to be somebody we're
not.
And changing something like mequitting smoking, that took time
and it took a big change and ittook a lot of effort and it
took a lot of different things,little bits and pieces.
You know it's so funny becauseI came out here and I remember
(15:02):
being like all right, I'm goingto quit smoking, I'm just going
to do it, and I was like, okay,after this pack of cigarettes I
would do that.
But I have to say one of thethings that was interesting was
they didn't have anybody tosmoke with, so it wasn't a
social thing anymore.
Now I also understand thatthere's also a psychological
thing.
I started not liking the smellof it because I was near the
(15:23):
beach all the time and I lovedthe smell of the beach and
that's a huge change.
But it took me quite a while todo it.
I went through a whole bunch ofiterations of how to quit.
Everything takes time.
But here's the thing Once youdo it incrementally, little by
little, like one change I madewas I'm not buying any more
(15:44):
cigarettes, so I'd have to asksomeone, which helped.
You know what I mean.
Like I didn't really want toask somebody for a cigarette at
all, especially because I didn'tknow many people here, you know
.
But it also was a social thing,because if you ask somebody for
a cigarette then you would talkto them and I honestly didn't
want to talk to most people.
I mean I did when I came outhere, you know, just meeting
(16:06):
people and stuff.
But my point is, I did itincrementally, little by little,
and there were a lot of thingsthat happened along the way that
made it easier for me to quit.
And then I was done.
I was done, it was finished.
I didn't even notice because Idid it in such small steps and
in little, tiny ways, because mygoal was to not smoke anymore
(16:28):
and I was going to do it in sucha way that I would never pick
up a cigarette again.
And I haven't, and I'm one ofthose people.
I hate the smell of cigarettes.
So so, be kind to yourself, lovewho you are.
Be a person who understandsthat you are uniquely, brilliant
and authentically who you'resupposed to be, even in this
(16:48):
moment, no matter what is goingon in your life right now, no
matter how tragic, how horrible,how sad, no matter what your
health issue is, no matter whatyou think is going on in your
life.
This is exactly where you'resupposed to start from right,
here, in this moment and thistime.
And you got this.
You got this.
(17:09):
Whatever that next step is foryou, you got this Right.
And remember you are lovely,you are beautiful, you're
supposed to be here.
We're excited that you're here,we love that you're here and
we're so excited to see who youare in the world, because we're
all social beings.
We want to know who you are,because you have grace and
(17:31):
talent and you have skills andthings to teach all of us skills
and things to teach all of us.
No matter if you think you don't, you're not here by mistake.
You're here on purpose, and sowe all do these little things to
tweak who we are, to kind of dothe things that we're supposed
(17:56):
to be doing.
So if your idea of wanting towork out or getting more
organized is something that youthink is going to make you a
better person, then you do that,and you do it incrementally,
you do it little by little, youdo it in pieces and then it
becomes sustainable.
So make a commitment for threedays, just three days, and see
how that works for you.
(18:17):
Three days, 15 minutes, makingchanges while you're walking or
going to work or driving orgoing to certain places, parking
farther away, walking along andseeing if that helps.
If you have like something thatmeasures your steps, you can
also use your phone.
That might help too, becausethat might inspire you and this
(18:39):
whole idea of having to do10,000 steps.
Get that out of your head.
Somebody made that up as amarketing tool.
That is not true.
If you did more steps todaythan you did yesterday, that's
the goal.
You know what I mean?
Even if it's two steps more,okay, the goal is to get
yourself active and to getyourself to a place.
(19:00):
So stop listening to all thenoise.
Let's get all the noise out ofthere and let's just be our best
selves every single day, doingthe best we can in the way in
which we can do it.
I hope that helps.
Thanks everyone.
I really appreciate you beinghere.
I'm going to have more CarmenTalks and remember, we're always
(19:22):
live on Friday Night Lives at 6pm Pacific, 9 pm Eastern.
We're always here on Sundays,usually with a great interview
or a topic that we're discussing.
We're also going to have CarmenTalks and we're going to be
adding another show in the fall.
So I'll talk about that laterwhen there's more time.
But remember, at the end of theday, it really is all about the
(19:44):
joy.
Bye everyone, thanks forstopping by.
All About the Joy.
Be better and stay beautifulfolks, have a sweet day.
Hi everyone, welcome to All About the Joy.
This is Carmen Talk.
A few weeks ago we went throughkind of a mailbag and I was
(00:23):
telling Rick and Cynthia kind ofa mailbag and I was telling
Rick and Cynthia some of thethings that people were asking
questions about or commenting.
And I do get quite a bit ofmail.
Some of it is not good when Isay mail I mean emails but some
of it is actually askingquestions and although I try to
answer them, what I realize ismaybe some of this information
(00:45):
is something that might helpother people.
So one of the questions and I'mjust going to do this in little
bits because I think it mightbe helpful, and if it's not,
that's okay too but in thisepisode what I want to talk
about is how do you become moreorganized?
Look it, I'm going to say thisand I'm going to say it from
like the bottom of my heart I amoverly organized.
(01:08):
I have a calendar which iscolor-coded and is pretty much
detailed throughout the day, andif somebody were to look at
that they'd be like oh my God,carmen is crazy, which is kind
of true, but it is who I am.
I have always been veryorganized.
I am one of those people that,since I was a little kid, I make
(01:32):
my bed every single day.
Even to this day, even if noone is going to be coming into
my home, my apartment is alwaysin perfect condition.
It's always perfectly organized.
The reason why I'm stressingthis so much is because there
are bad parts to that too.
Although I do like spontaneity,I'm not really someone who,
(01:56):
like I, don't really love it iswhat my point is.
I mean, I can be spontaneous,but I really do have things
really organized.
So the reason why I'm sharingthis with all of you is just
because you're not organizedlike somebody else, or just
because you're not like someoneelse doesn't mean the way in
(02:16):
which you do things is bad.
Does that make sense?
So if you don't make your bedevery day and you don't have a
color-coded calendar that hasevery single minute of your day
outlined, that's okay.
There is nothing wrong for youbeing your absolute best, being
(02:37):
your authentic self.
So don't get it twisted right.
Don't get it confused thatsomehow, because you don't do
something the way someone elsedoes it, you're doing it wrong.
Actually, I would say that'snot the problem at all.
I'm going to give you some tipson how to maybe incorporate
things into your life thatyou're not doing right now.
(02:57):
That will be easy for you, butwhat I really want to stress and
what's really important, isauthenticity and that who you
are is perfect, exactly the wayyou are.
What we all want to do is justget better, right?
I want to be better about beingmore spontaneous.
I want to be better about maybenot having to make my bed every
(03:19):
morning because, you know, Idon't know.
See, I still don't thinkthere's a reason not to do that,
because you know I don't know,see, I still don't think there's
a reason not to do that.
But I'm just saying we all canimprove, but within our own way
in which we do things, not tochange who we are, but to make
ourselves better human beings,which I think, kind of, is the
point right.
So here's the thing, the wayyou can incorporate.
(03:43):
So this specific email thatsomebody sent me was they want
to start working out and theyknow that in the past I've done
marathons and 10Ks and mud runs,and after I couldn't dance for
a long time once I realized thatmy dancing quote unquote career
was over.
I had to make some changes andone of those changes was I ended
(04:04):
up going to college, eventhough I never had any intention
of going to college or eventhought about it.
But you know that was thetrajectory and I had hurt my hip
and it got really bad.
And so when I went to college,I met someone on campus and she
used to run all the time and shewas like, carmen, you could do
(04:25):
it.
And you know I couldn't run atall, but I, oh, it always stayed
in the back of my head so Iwould do these long walks and
little by little, I startedrunning.
So my working out situation, thereason why I got so into
working out on a regular basiswas because I had always worked
out as a kid.
Whether I was dancing, you know, whether I was performing in
(04:48):
Color Garden Drum Corps, whetherI was, you know, part of
Batutera or whatever it is like,whatever we want to talk about,
I was always doing somethingthat was about movement and body
and whatever.
So the idea that I would everstop, that is really, really
hard.
The idea that I would ever stop, that is really, really hard.
And I gravitated towardsrunning, not because I love it,
(05:09):
but because it was a way inwhich I could keep working out.
Okay, so I, how do you get intoexercising if you haven't been
doing it, if you weren't broughtup as a dancer or an athletic
person?
How do you do that?
Because we all want to behealthy.
Right, it's a tough one.
Here's what I would suggest.
(05:30):
Number one not everyone needsto be a runner and, like I just
mentioned, I hated running.
I still hate running.
So think about what it is youwant to do.
There are so many differentways in which you can work out
if that's your goal, but this isreally about incorporating
anything you want to start doingin your life.
(05:52):
So this is the way you do it.
You don't turn around and startcolor coding your calendar and
doing every single day of howyou're going to spend your
minute, because you will fail.
I promise you.
You will fail because we can'tchange the trajectory of who we
are quickly.
It takes time, and I thinkthere's some statistic, and I'm
(06:13):
not sure how actual this is, butthere's something about it
taking 21 days for you todevelop a habit.
So, if it takes 21 days for youto develop a habit, what I
would say is because I don'tknow if that's really true, I
don't know if it takes me 21days.
It might actually take melonger.
On some things it might takelike, for example, I used to
(06:36):
smoke, which I know people findthat to be weird but it did not
take me 21 days to stop smoking.
It took me not being aroundpeople who smoked and it, you
know, it was me moving.
I didn't move to Californiabecause I wanted to stop smoking
, but the fact that I moved hereand didn't know anybody was
really helpful because all thepeople I hung around with so
(06:58):
that wasn't 21 days right Tobreak a habit, to develop a new
habit, because I like to see thepositives, not the negatives
right.
So what I would say is,regardless of whatever that
statistic is because you are aunique individual it might take
you three days, it might justtake you three days, it might
take you two months, it doesn'tmatter.
It's all about the intentionand the try, and every time you
(07:20):
fail, you've got to get rightback up.
So that's the trick Doesn'tmatter how many times you fail,
as long as you keep getting upand starting over again and I'm
saying that more for me than anyof you right now, but that is
really true.
Okay, so here's what you do Ifyou want to start working out
and you don't have time.
Because here's the thing Peoplethink about exercising it's like
(07:43):
I have to drive to the gym, soI have to get my bag together, I
have to drive to the gym, Ihave to be at the gym for at
least an hour, get on thetreadmill, do weights blah, blah
, blah, whatever.
Take the yoga class blah, blah,blah, whatever.
And then I have to get back inmy car, go back home, get
dressed and go to work.
That's a lot of time.
That's a lot of time, and Ihave to tell you it's not
necessary.
It's not necessary, not at thebeginning of this process at all
(08:06):
.
You want to get to the placewhere you're so excited to go to
the gym and spend all that timethat you do it not because you
have to, but because it's becomepart of your ethos, right, it
becomes part of who you is andwho you are.
So what?
I would say?
The way to start this reallysimple incorporate it into your
everyday life already, whereyou're only adjusting a few
(08:29):
minutes of things a day.
So this is how I would tell youto start.
Okay, when you go to the grocerystore to buy food, do not park
as close as you can to the doorsof the grocery store.
I know this is going to soundso obvious, but I'm telling you
this will help you.
Okay, park as far away aspossible.
(08:52):
No more drive-thrus.
If you're going to go to adrive-thru to pick up your
coffee no more drive-thrus.
You need to park and walk toyour Starbucks.
Or.
I'm not promoting Starbucks.
I don't go to Starbucks.
I know nothing about Starbucks.
I'm just I know people do this.
They go through the drive-thru.
So, whatever coffee shop you goto, no more of that.
(09:14):
You know you park your car andyou walk into the area.
Do little things like that.
If you have company parking andit's really close to where you
start, parking in the publicvisitor parking park, somewhere
far away before you go into work.
If you're going to the doctor'soffice, all of the places where
(09:35):
you can walk more often do that.
Here's a big one that I do allthe time.
I've been doing it forever.
Do not take escalators anymore.
Do not take elevators.
Now, don't be ridiculous, Idon't want to get the emails.
Well, I can't go up 18 flightsof stairs or whatever.
Okay, no one's saying that.
Okay, no one is saying you needto do that, but what you can do
(09:59):
is go up four flights of stairs, or three flights of stairs,
and then take the elevator fromthere.
Right, what you want to startdoing is incorporating exercise
into your everyday life inminutes, in little minutes,
instead of trying to do threehours of a chunk of a day before
you go to work or after you goto work.
I would say that would be thebetter way to do it.
(10:21):
Let me tell you something Inever take an elevator.
I mean, again, I live in LosAngeles, so we don't have a lot.
I mean we do in downtown LA,but there's not a lot of
buildings that are over five orsix floors where I live or where
I am in.
So me walking upstairs is areally good thing and I'll take
the elevator down because, youknow, going downstairs kind of
(10:41):
scares me a bit, especially, youknow, if you have knee issues
or hip issues, like I do, youwant to be careful.
But even now when I go to doexercising, I don't run anymore,
right, I actually go for a nicewalk and then I go up the
stairs here in Santa Monica andI go down the stairs or down a
ramp and then up the stairsagain, and I do them slowly and
(11:02):
with intention.
These are simple ways in whichyou can start incorporating
moments and getting moreorganized and getting involved
with working out a little bit.
If you want to try to put timeaside for yourself to either
work out or have what I call metime, you can do that too.
(11:23):
You can do that too.
It can be something.
Just do one thing and say I'mgoing to commit to this for the
next three days.
Don't make it a week, don't makeit 15 days, and do it like a
Friday, saturday and Sunday,when you know you'll be able to
accomplish that change in yourschedule.
Right, turn around and say toyourself okay, I am going to get
(11:46):
up, I'm going to have my coffeeand then, from 8 to 8.30 or 8
to 8.20, I'm going to take awalk around the block, or from 8
to 8.30, I'm going to walk onmy treadmill or whatever it is
you have, you know.
Or maybe you're going to decidethat when you get up from 8 to
(12:06):
8.30, you know, after you haveyour coffee or whatever, and
it's a Saturday morning orwhatever you're going to just
sit and be, take that time to beall about you and think about
what it is you want to do forthe rest of the week,
intentionally, without your cellphone, without the TV on,
without anybody interrupting you.
These are the ways in which youcan become more quote unquote
(12:31):
organized when you start doingthings with intention and doing
them in little bits and piecesand not trying to change your
entire existence because youthink somebody else is doing it
better than you, because you areso unique.
We are all such uniqueindividuals and what we don't
(12:53):
realize, what we don't seem tograsp on a regular basis, is
everybody is struggling throughsomething.
We're all trying to walkthrough life as best we can, and
even if you think I'm doingsomething better than somebody
else's, I'm over here thinkingyou're doing something better
(13:15):
than I'm doing.
You know what I mean.
We're all trying to be our bestselves and you have to be able
to sit with that for a minuteand understand how uniquely
beautiful and amazing andbrilliant you are, just to be
here.
You see what I'm saying.
So don't okay.
So let's summarize.
(13:35):
Let's summarize a little bit.
Stop knocking yourself down asif you're not doing something
great and brilliant, just byexisting because you are,
whatever your situation is inyour life, that is your journey.
That is the journey that youare on.
You have choices, whether youbelieve it or not, you have
(13:57):
choices to make in order foryour life to be the way in which
you want it to be.
And the way your life is rightnow is because you have chosen
to be in it.
It might be too scary to moveon, it might be a responsibility
you have that you can't move on, or you can't move through it,
(14:18):
but again, it's still a choice.
Okay, there are choices andwith those choices, within those
choices, you can still make thechanges you want to make in
order to be your best self.
Do them incrementally.
Do them in tiny, small ways.
Don't try to change everythingovernight, because I have to
tell you ways.
Don't try to change everythingovernight, because I have to
(14:40):
tell you that's how you failwhen we try to be somebody we're
not.
And changing something like mequitting smoking, that took time
and it took a big change and ittook a lot of effort and it
took a lot of different things,little bits and pieces.
You know it's so funny becauseI came out here and I remember
(15:02):
being like all right, I'm goingto quit smoking, I'm just going
to do it, and I was like, okay,after this pack of cigarettes I
would do that.
But I have to say one of thethings that was interesting was
they didn't have anybody tosmoke with, so it wasn't a
social thing anymore.
Now I also understand thatthere's also a psychological
thing.
I started not liking the smellof it because I was near the
(15:23):
beach all the time and I lovedthe smell of the beach and
that's a huge change.
But it took me quite a while todo it.
I went through a whole bunch ofiterations of how to quit.
Everything takes time.
But here's the thing Once youdo it incrementally, little by
little, like one change I madewas I'm not buying any more
(15:44):
cigarettes, so I'd have to asksomeone, which helped.
You know what I mean.
Like I didn't really want toask somebody for a cigarette at
all, especially because I didn'tknow many people here, you know
.
But it also was a social thing,because if you ask somebody for
a cigarette then you would talkto them and I honestly didn't
want to talk to most people.
I mean I did when I came outhere, you know, just meeting
(16:06):
people and stuff.
But my point is, I did itincrementally, little by little,
and there were a lot of thingsthat happened along the way that
made it easier for me to quit.
And then I was done.
I was done, it was finished.
I didn't even notice because Idid it in such small steps and
in little, tiny ways, because mygoal was to not smoke anymore
(16:28):
and I was going to do it in sucha way that I would never pick
up a cigarette again.
And I haven't, and I'm one ofthose people.
I hate the smell of cigarettes.
So so, be kind to yourself, lovewho you are.
Be a person who understandsthat you are uniquely, brilliant
and authentically who you'resupposed to be, even in this
(16:48):
moment, no matter what is goingon in your life right now, no
matter how tragic, how horrible,how sad, no matter what your
health issue is, no matter whatyou think is going on in your
life.
This is exactly where you'resupposed to start from right,
here, in this moment and thistime.
And you got this.
You got this.
(17:09):
Whatever that next step is foryou, you got this Right.
And remember you are lovely,you are beautiful, you're
supposed to be here.
We're excited that you're here,we love that you're here and
we're so excited to see who youare in the world, because we're
all social beings.
We want to know who you are,because you have grace and
(17:31):
talent and you have skills andthings to teach all of us skills
and things to teach all of us.
No matter if you think you don't, you're not here by mistake.
You're here on purpose, and sowe all do these little things to
tweak who we are, to kind of dothe things that we're supposed
(17:56):
to be doing.
So if your idea of wanting towork out or getting more
organized is something that youthink is going to make you a
better person, then you do that,and you do it incrementally,
you do it little by little, youdo it in pieces and then it
becomes sustainable.
So make a commitment for threedays, just three days, and see
how that works for you.
(18:17):
Three days, 15 minutes, makingchanges while you're walking or
going to work or driving orgoing to certain places, parking
farther away, walking along andseeing if that helps.
If you have like something thatmeasures your steps, you can
also use your phone.
That might help too, becausethat might inspire you and this
(18:39):
whole idea of having to do10,000 steps.
Get that out of your head.
Somebody made that up as amarketing tool.
That is not true.
If you did more steps todaythan you did yesterday, that's
the goal.
You know what I mean?
Even if it's two steps more,okay, the goal is to get
yourself active and to getyourself to a place.
(19:00):
So stop listening to all thenoise.
Let's get all the noise out ofthere and let's just be our best
selves every single day, doingthe best we can in the way in
which we can do it.
I hope that helps.
Thanks everyone.
I really appreciate you beinghere.
I'm going to have more CarmenTalks and remember, we're always
(19:22):
live on Friday Night Lives at 6pm Pacific, 9 pm Eastern.
We're always here on Sundays,usually with a great interview
or a topic that we're discussing.
We're also going to have CarmenTalks and we're going to be
adding another show in the fall.
So I'll talk about that laterwhen there's more time.
But remember, at the end of theday, it really is all about the
(19:44):
joy.
Bye everyone, thanks forstopping by.
All About the Joy.
Be better and stay beautifulfolks, have a sweet day.
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