Truths About Work, Friends, and Money - Pet Peeves Revealed - All About The Joy

Episode Transcript
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Carmen Lezeth (00:00):
This is a throwback episode from way way
back in April.
Hope you all enjoy it.

Cynthia Ruiz Lopez (00:13):
Hi everybody , Welcome to.

All that Joy.
Hello, the private lounge.
We're over here like 10 minutesinto a conversation.
Hey, cynthia's in the house,how are you guys doing?
Doing good, good, good.

Rick Costa (00:24):
All right, you, how are you guys?

doing, doing good .
All right, you guys don't keepbeing chatty, right, like you
just were.
I wanted to talk a little bitabout pet peeves, which might go
into some of what we weretalking about earlier today with
work.

I got a whole, oh no.

Cynthia did her homework.
I should Start with you Goahead.

Oh, pet peeves, when are we starting
From work?
Work, pet peeves.

We can just start with all the pet peeves that
Mala said let's start with work.

Let's start with work.
Let's see what I have here.
Work, oh, micromanaging.
I hate micromanaging, but theworst part about it is when they
do it over the phone and can'teven get up from their desk to
walk five doors down to youroffice to talk to you.
They call you.
Did you do this?
Oh, what about this?

(01:14):
And how about that?
Knowing you already did it, Iknow.

Yeah, I hate micromanaging as well and I try
not to do it.
But yeah, I, my clients do thatto me all the time.

Cynthia Ruiz Lope (01:27):
Micromanaging .
But in my situation it's likewe went from having two
employees in my office me andthe other woman doing all this
work and now it's just me.
For the past, what month now?
And it's like in a month youhaven't even tried to come and
help me or find me any help, butyou're going to micromanage me,
knowing I'm doing everythingcorrectly, because the doctor is
aware I'm doing everythingcorrectly and is very pleased

(01:48):
with my work.
I'm sorry.

Rick Costa (01:51):
Just today I get a call from Nefe and he's like
what about this order?
And I'm like what order?
Please enlighten me.
He never gives me all thedetails so I can figure out what
he's talking about, or he'll belike looking at something.
He's like did you take care ofthis guy?
And I'm like who, what?
And it might not have beentoday.
I'm like give me a second tofigure out what you're talking

(02:13):
about, since you ain't gonnatell me.
I gotta figure it out andyou're wasting time.

Mind reading that's a whole other one.
So this micromanaging is likeyou're supposed to be a mind
reader with these motherfuckers.
My clients do that all the time.

Rick Costa (02:24):
So he's like well, did you tell the shipping guy
about this?
How's it supposed to ship?
And I was like, yeah, I senthim a message on Teams.
Go look, oh, okay, yeah, yeah,well, just make sure you stay on
top of this.
Okay, I'm like now you feelstupid, you have nothing to say.

Just is the mind reading though One of my clients
will be like Carmen that reportthat we talked about.
This man is constantly withmotherfucking reports Every five
minutes.
It's a new report he needs andthen I'll be like I'll get to it
.
It's on the list.
I always say it's on the listbecause the list is like 35
things long.
Then, randomly out of nowhere,I'll be walking by to go to the
bathroom or something and he'lljust ask me and I'm supposed to
know off the top of my head notonly which report that he's

(03:06):
talking about, but whatevernumbers.
And I'm not that person.
Everybody knows.
I am not somebody who retainsshit in my head, especially shit
that don't matter to me in mylife.
I don't care about yourbusiness, I work for you, but I
need to go look it up.
I'm not retaining that shit.
He gets so mad.

Rick Costa (03:23):
There's another thing he calls yesterday.
He goes about a month ago Itold you to go through.
It's our biggest customer andthere's a lot of old credit
cards in there and it doesn't.
We can't see the credit cardnumber, except for the last four
numbers and the expiration.
So it's like you know I can seethat part, but he's like
there's so many old ones inthere, can you know how many are
in there since 2019?

(03:44):
Okay, so I did.
I spent literally half the daydoing it, and then the next day
I'm not going to lie I forgotabout it.
Plus, it's not a huge priority.
There's nothing customer-wiseneeded to do right now.
So I was like, well, I see awhole bunch of them still in
here.
Did you ever do it?
I was like I spent half the daydoing it and so then I was like
, let me see if I can finish itnow.
It was maybe like 15 left to goout of 300, maybe.

(04:05):
I'm like what the heck it's?

never good enough .
It's never good enough.
What about unnecessary meetings?
We have those all the time.
Meetings that can be 15 minutes, like should just be 15 minutes
, yep.

And it shouldn't be a PowerPoint
presentation where they're justreading what's on the screen.
You could just send it to me inan email.
I can print it out if I need itand I can read it myself.

Yeah, for sure.
I think that's a big, a big one, a big waste of time that
people do.
I think that's a power thingyeah.
I need everyone to be somonotoned.

if they're so monotone and I'm there like
falling asleep and I'm just like, oh my god, if you're not
excited about this, how can I beright?

okay, that's just wrong, but I think it's a, it's
like a power thing, wherepeople are like you know, oh, we
have to have a meeting, let'ssit down, let's have, let's uh,
schedule me something.
And, like I always see, one ofmy clients is always telling
their assistant schedule mesomething, something just fit it
in.
Fit it in.
And I'm like bitch, we don'tneed to have no conversation
with him, it's all good, he cancall me tomorrow between nine
and 10 and I can tell himeverything he needs to know.
You know what I mean.

(05:12):
Like there is no need.
Or I can just walk over thereright now, tell him while he's
sitting and doing nothing, andtell him we don't need to get 25
people together.
It is annoying, the unnecessarymeetings are.

Rick Costa (05:23):
He used to do that, but of course I work from home,
so he would just put it onspeakerphone and they'd have
their meeting.
Like I barely hear what they'resaying because they're probably
not even near the phone and I'mlike okay listening for
something pertinent to me.

That's a big reason for why people want
people back in the office,though, too, I do believe there
is something beneficial tohaving people in the office, but
I think it has to be a hybridsituation, if it can be at this
point in time.
I mean, your job's a little bitdifferent, cynthia, because you
work in pathology and there aremedical fields, and you know
like you can't do constructionfrom home.
If you work in the constructionfield or whatever, you probably

(05:57):
have to do that on site.
I'm just saying, but there aresome jobs that can be done on a
hybrid situation, but I do thinkpart of the creative process,
especially when you're with ateam of people, is very
different than when you're on azoom call.
You know, I think our energywould be really cool if we were
in person or not.
We might actually hate eachother.

(06:17):
I know right what about petpeeves you have with friends
Everyone here included, ofcourse, everyone here.
Like what is your pet peeve withMario and Alma?
No, just in general, do youguys have pet peeves with some
of your friends?

When they don't.
Two of them.
One, when they don't listen,like they'll come to you with
all their issues and want you tolisten and give them all the
advice, but when it's your turn,oh, I'm too busy or I got to do
this or you know, they justdon't have time to listen to
your drama.
And the other one is knowingyour audience, like, for
instance, if they're yourfriends, they should know what

(07:02):
type of music you listen to,right?
And let's say they're going toa concert and it's a genre that
you just don't like.
If it's a country, countrymusic, which we all know I love,
right, and I say, carmen, Ihave tickets, let's go to the
country, a country thing.

Rick Costa (07:16):
And you say no right .

And you say no right, and then I never ask
you again to go to any othertype of concert.
It's like, if you know I don'tlike that, why invite me to that
?
But then ones that I do likeyou don't invite me to, right,
you know so speaking oflistening, like a pet peeve of
mine is.

Rick Costa (07:38):
So let's say I said to my friend, I'm marco polo,
because I like that video thingyou could just record and they
watch whenever at theirconvenience, and back and forth.
And I'll be like I'll say, oh,my mom had to go to the hospital
for something.
I'll make an example, I'm atthe hospital, he's not fully
listening.
And then he'll come back and belike oh, I'm sorry, your mom
got the sniffles.
I'm like I said she went to thehospital.

(07:59):
What is wrong with you?
You is wrong with you likeyou're not listening clearly.

Yeah, that's attention for those people who
don't know what marco polo is,because I swear to god, rick,
you're the only person I knowwho uses marco polo.
It's like whatsapp or signal,which is you can just leave a
voice note or you can leave avideo message and then somebody
can answer you back at their ownconvenience.
I've never heard of marco polotill rick said it, and I've
never heard anyone else talkingabout it.
I think it's your own secretapp.
I don't know, I think one of mypet peeves with my friends.

(08:29):
First of all, I don't think Ihave that many friends.
I have a lot more acquaintancesthan I do friends, but that's a
whole other conversation.
But I'll say this I think a lotof people mean well, but they
don't follow through.
So a lot of my friends, or alot of acquaintances, will say
things like no, I got you, Isupport you, I'm a subscribe to
your sub stack.
Like I got you, carmen, I'llsubscribe to your YouTube or

(08:50):
whatever it is.
I support you 100%.
But then they don't do it.
And then what's worse is you doit again and they don't do it.
And it's like you don't have tosupport my stuff but also don't
kiss my ass in front of me.
You know what I mean, becauseI'll tell you what I'm not going
to support your shit.
If I don't want to support yourshit, I'm not.
I'm not going to lie to youabout it.
Like I'm trying to think who isit that I recently said?

(09:11):
Well, you know what.
I'll use an example here.
This isn't what I was thinkingof.
But, rick, you and I, we getalong on so many levels, but one
of the things I don't really dois and you know, I am
supporting you right now becauseI'm a promote, rick Costacom,
but you have a whole religiouskind of thing that you do on an
everyday but it's just not mything.
So I'm not going to pretend andbe like I got you.
I'm going to support you, right, you know how I feel about it

(09:35):
Now.
I support you as a person andin your creativity and I support
you because I know you're notdoing no harm to nobody.
You know what I mean and so.
But you see what I'm saying,right, like there's no lies
between us, but people willcontinuously be like yes, I will
support everything you do,carmen, and I'm like so how come
you're not on our YouTubechannel?
All about the joy?
How come you don't listen toour podcast?

Rick Costa (09:54):
I learned this when I was on the Periscope days.
Public service announcement Ifyou go do stuff online, your
friends and family will not bethere.
But why, it's crazy, like ifthey did it, I would but unless
I didn't agree with it, 100.

Like I come and visit your show, I just want for
the, for the people listening.
I do come and visit your showand I do listen once in a while.
I do you know that because I'llcome in and say, especially
when you do the games, because Ilike that part, but yeah, but
then why say that you're goingto support someone 100 if you're
not gonna?
Yeah, exactly that's annoying.
I feel like cynthia's beingvery high because she's one of
those people who says she'sgonna support stuff no, no, no.

Another thing I don't like and this this
is just a general thing is likewith anybody friends, family,
whoever is if you go out todinner, you go to the movies or
whatever, and they're just onthe phone, always on the phone,
oh.
But then when you say, oh, didyou get my text?
No, I never got it.
I'm never ready because you'realways on your phone you know
what?

I love andrea with all my heart, but she does
that shit all the time.
I'll be like did you get myemail or my text?
And she'll be like, oh, I'vebeen so busy.
But when we go out to dinner,she, she is one of those people
who's like one second.
I'm like do I have a different?
Like is there some notificationsound?
That's like it's just Carmen,ignore that shit, you're going
to spam.
I love it with all my heart,but I'm like okay, you just

(11:15):
ignored me because you know I'mgood Like whatever girl, but she
does that shit all the time.
Were going to say somethingelse.
I can't stand when you go outwith quote unquote family and
friends to dinner and we allabout to eat, and then people be
all cheap and shit, like do notgo out with me and start
splitting that fucking billbased on like um, I only had

(11:35):
water and a salad.
Like don't come to eat with me,then don't?
You know what I mean?
Like I don't mind splitting thebill if that's the agreement we
had at the beginning, but Icannot stand cheap people.
I can't stand it.
If we don't go eat, we don't goeat, don't come and eat.
No water and salad, because youcan't just say you can't afford
it, then I'll pay the shit.
Do you know what I mean?
Like okay, you know how I amCynthia when it comes to food.

(11:56):
So wait, do you guys, when youguys go out to eat, do you guys,
when you guys go out to eat, doyou guys normally split the
bill or what do you do, becausemaybe I'm out of touch with
things?
I don't know, you split it,okay, but do you split it, like,
based on what you ate, or doyou?

know evenly, just if there's four of us, to
split it between the four of us,okay right, I usually will pick
up the bill.

I will.
I usually will just pick up thebill if I'm going out to eat,
like, and I said let's go out toeat because I like to eat.
But yeah, uh, request, what'syour flavor when it comes to
food?

Rick Costa (12:27):
I know you don't go out to eat a lot, but right,
right I mean as far as the billlike, as soon as they come start
, ask us what you want, Iimmediately say how are we
paying for this?
Oh, no, okay because somepeople they'll be like okay,
lobster, shrimp, several cups ofwine.
I'm like, okay, I'm a littlebit hungry, but what are you
doing?

okay, okay, okay.
I just want to be clear rightnow, rick, if we ever going out
to eat like when we all gettogether at our studio, wherever
and you you know what I meanwe're doing our in-studio
podcast, live stream or whateverand we go out to eat, you will
not say that I got you.

Okay, I will pay for it okay, we're not
ghetto Me and Carmen willalready have talked about it,
but like, if I got it or you gotit, like I know, and what did?
What did after?

Cause I can't.
I can't handle it.
I don't know what it.
You know what it is is I don'tlook at.
I grew up poor.
I mean, I guess we all woman ofcolor who grew up poor.
There's also this thing like Idon't want you to ever believe
in any way, shape or form that Iam cheap.

(13:29):
All the stereotypes that youthink about poor people and I do
think that's where it comesfrom I will stand on whatever it
is that I have to in order tomake sure you understand that I
am not cheap.
Like, and if that means I can'tgo out to dinner with you
because I can't afford it, I'mgoing to tell you straight up.
You know what.
I can't afford it today.
But have a lovely time, but I'msure as hell not going to go to

(13:54):
dinner and then be like um, um,can I just have a water?
No, no.

Rick Costa (13:56):
I think, it's my case, because there's certain
family members that will takeadvantage of that, and they will
every time, and they alreadyknow their cheap period in life
and they will order $40, $50worth of food, knowing they're
only going to have to pay $20.

Okay, so this is where you and I are different,
and I think Cynthia is the sameway.
Why would you go out to dinnerwith them again?
Like, show me once.

Rick Costa (14:18):
Family, thing, oh yeah.

We could be family, but we ain't going to
dinner.

Oh yeah, we could be family but we ain't
going to dinner, like Cynthiayou could always.
But Rick, you can always saylike, if you guys do that dinner
again, say to the waiter, canmy check be separate?
Yeah.

You could do separate checks.

Rick Costa (14:35):
That's cool too.
I'll be right back, hey, bro.

Right, oh yeah, but Cynthia, you know there are
people I will not go to dinnerwith.
I will not go to dinner withpeople.
Cynthia knows who they are.
I will not go to dinner withcertain people.
You showed me once who you is.
We done, yep, not doing it.
Oh, that's interesting.
What else?
Other things with family?
I was talking about just thingsthat I remember growing up.

(15:00):
It wasn't my pet peeve, but Iwould get yelled at if I didn't
take the lights off.
Like I remember that was like aand so now I have a habit of
doing that, to the extent thatone of the people I work with
the other day she's like everytime you leave my office you
turn the lights off and I'm likeI'm sorry, I take.
I visit my client and I'll getmy bags up and I'll just turn

(15:27):
off the lights and lock and shutthe door and she'll come back
from the bathroom and like whatare you doing?
It is her office, I'm justvisiting.

Oh my God, I'm the same way.
I hate it.
So Juan has a tendency ofleaving the light on in the
bathroom, and it drives me crazy.
Oh yeah, no yeah, oh my god, itdrives me, it drives me up the
wall.

Okay, we're, we're, we're the problem, we're
the problem, like I, I am theproblem, I am, I am the drama,
I'm the drama in my case, itused to be mom that did that,
and now we've reverted.

Rick Costa (15:59):
Now I'm the one that's like why is this on?
Why don't leave this tv on yourbedroom?
You're gonna be in your bedroomuntil tonight.
Why are you doing that?
But Portuguese people, firstgeneration Portuguese people, we
are very interesting because wesay things that drive Americans
crazy, like open, close thelights.
Can you open the light, can youclose the light?
And everybody's like really,open the light.

Oh, because it's like a funny thing.
I think it happens too, though,because I think, but also
because she's polish, she's frompoland, she has some of those
word changes as well, becauseit's you're.
You're uh directly translatinginstead of is it idioms or
whatever.
You know, there are all theseidioms in certain languages.
Yeah, that's funny turn.

Rick Costa (16:42):
Turn open the light.

Is that what you say?

Rick Costa (16:44):
Oh, you say open the light.
Open or close the light?

yeah, oh my God, that's funny.
All right, pet peeves inrelationships, let's get down
and dirty.

Okay, all right, I'll make it easy.

What friends.

Rick Costa (16:58):
I mean it could be similar.

Friends or lovers ?
What is your pet peeve withJuan?

Let's just talk about Juan the light switch
.
No, don't talk about Juan.

I'm kidding.

She's small I know no.

What are pet peeves, though, with anything
Like relationships, friends?

This might sound weird, right, but like if
I'm hosting a dinner in my house, like for Thanksgiving, let's
say and you know I've never beeninvited to, but go ahead, oh
hush.
And let's say, you know I wantto clean up, or everyone's you
know putting their dishes away,whatever.
And somebody starts cleaning mykitchen and starts washing the
dishes.

Rick Costa (17:41):
I don't like that.

I know, no, I know that they're trying to
help me, but it's like I want todo that.

Leave it alone, just enjoy the time that's you
being anal.
That's not being a bad person.
I'd love it.

Rick Costa (17:52):
Go clean my bathroom too, while you're at it.

High five, baby.
Don't leave your hair again,Bitch, clean, Go ahead.
No, no, I hear you.
But here's the thing.
I think again not to bebringing up Andrea.
I think Mia's, oh, Mia too, Miaand Andrea, they're all the
same way.
But you have to tell peoplebecause from my point of view,
especially when I went to like Iused to always go to Mia's in
New York, right In Pennsylvania,to go for Thanksgiving and I

(18:18):
mean, and her husband would payfor my first class flight out
there and hotel, so I'd have tostay with them with their
children, Like that's how sweetthey were.
So you think I'm going to walkinto her house and eat and not
be like how can I clean and help.
It was such a kindness thatthey were making sure I was with
them and they were, and it waspaid.
So you want to help.
But you know, at one point Miawas like it's all good, Carmen,

(18:47):
just go relax, you feel me, andI was like she tried to spin it
like I'm family, but she's like,bitch, get the hell out of my
kitchen, is what I was hearing.

That was the subtext.
But it's funny, though, becausewhen I do go to other people's
houses, I always want to helpthem clean up.
Yeah, it's a weird thing.

How come you don't just tell people?
You should just tell them.
I know now.

I tell them, just leave it there.
And they're like no, no, no,it's fine.
I'm like no, I just oh no, Ihave my pet peeve with her.

Again, we're not talking about individual people
in a negative way.
No, no.

What are your pet peeves?
But?

Teresa's always kind that way.
She always wants to.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, myit's it.
No, what are your pet peeves?
But Teresa's always kind thatway.
She always wants to clean.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's a funny thing that I have with her
.
A pet peeve is that she alwayswants to save paper towels.
Like she'll reuse the papertowels because she doesn't want
to waste them and I'm like throwit away.

Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, that's a weird ism, but I
think that's from culture,that's from growing up poor in
Honduras and wanting to saveeverything.
Like you know, I have somebodywho saves plastic bags.
So like, let's say, you put Idon't know like whatever, you
put nuts, I forget what it was.
I had like cashews in a baggie,like a sandwich bag or whatever

(19:59):
, because you know the box wasthis big.
So I put them in a sandwich bagor whatever, because you know
the box was this big and therewas no, so I put them in a
sandwich bag or whatever.
And so when we were finishedeating I think it was cashews or
something, we're finishing thecashews I went to go throw the
thing.
I put it on the counter and thenext, like the next minute later
, she was in there and I'm justI'm saying who it is, washing
out the plastic sandwich bag,like a Ziploc sandwich bag,

(20:20):
putting it inside out and thenputting it in the rack for it to
dry so I can use it again.
She's like it was just nuts andI'm like, yeah, but they were
in.
I don't know.
She's right, she's right, butyou throw it out.
Here in the United States wewaste a lot, but they're not
wrong.
But I still can't.

I can't, I can't.
Wouldn't you guys throw it away?
I would throw it away, juanwould save it.

Oh, really he would, because it was just nuts,
it was just cashews.

And I'm always there throwing it away.

Yeah paper towels is hard, though, because that's
wet and it's dirty, oh, butit's drying it, it's drying,
yeah.

Rick Costa (21:04):
I'm going to forget watching Oprah one time.
Look at my face.
I guess the show was aboutcheap people and there was a guy
that he would take the toilet,roll the entire thing and split
it if it was a two-ply, oh stopit.
And he put it up and Oprah'slike, but wouldn't you just
double it up anyway?
Isn't that a stupid waste oftime?

That's crazy, right, cause you could just take
one little piece of the two ply.
Right, we're going down a wholeother road.
I don't want to just say causeI do want to defend people.
I actually the people I'mtalking about.
I don't think it's about beingcheap, because Teresa is not
cheap no, she's not cheap at allbut it's about culture.

(21:43):
It's about growing up andlearning that.
And here's the thing you knowwhat the truth is.
I mean, we all would throw itaway with the cashews right, I
had cashews in the bag, butshe's not wrong.
And this wasn't Teresa, thiswas somebody else.
They're not wrong, it was justyou could save it and use it for
something else.
But I think because asAmericans we don't really

(22:04):
recycle in that way and wereally were not thoughtful in
that way saving the paper towels, saving the plastic bag, using
an old t-shirt as a mop yeah.

Or like to clean the furniture and stuff
like that, which is what we usedto do as kids yeah, and you
just wash it and reuse it.

Well, a t-shirt is better to clean anyway,
People don't understand that forthe like.
I'm going to be careful what Isay when my home is clean.
That's actually what they'reusing Because it's old school,
but it's better because it picksup all the dust better, and
everything too.
That's also smart.
But yeah, it's true, I thinkthere's a lot of things.
I think we waste a lot asAmericans, but we also and I'm

(22:51):
saying this as an Americanmyself we're also not that smart
, because those things actuallywork.
I did not know we were going togo down this avenue, basically
dissing all Americans and how wefunction in society.

Rick Costa (23:04):
Sorry, I'll tell you another part of the reason we
already mentioned this with jobsis the mind reading thing, like
I can tell you, at times withrelationship you should just
know, oh yeah.
But I didn't, right, you shouldknow, but I didn't.
And then have a whole big fightabout something I didn't know,
because I'm not a mind reader,unless you tell me.

I don't know.
Is that the difference betweenmen and women, though?
Remember that whole book, marsversus Venus, or something,
where they talked about how mencommunicate in caves?
I don't even know.
I don't remember the book.
I did read it once and I thinkthere were some aspects of it.
On reading it, as a woman onthe man side, I got it.
It's about how to communicatewith each other.

(23:46):
You know and I'm actually thetype of person even though I
talk a lot, I do when I'm in arelationship and we get into a
fight and you guys know thisbecause I've had little
arguments with each of you Ineed a minute.
I'm not going to keep fightingwith you.
I will be quiet and need to getaway for a day or so and then
we can get back to it.

(24:06):
And Cynthia, cynthia's, whatabout me?
You are, you're, you're whenyou, when we have our little,
when we had, I think, one fight,did we have?

one.

Yeah.

One argument .

Was it one argument Do you remember?
I don't even remember what itwas about.
I don't even remember.
I don't remember.
But Cynthia gets mad, like sheand she don't want to talk to
you at all, like she just getsreally quiet, like I took you in
a little bit of a retreat mode.

Rick Costa (24:29):
The other day we were talking about La La Land
and you were the only one thatliked it, oh right, he's like I
hate it and Cindy's like yes.
And you're like huh Well.

And you're like huh, well, here's my thing about
that.
So you're right, I do, becauseI'm not going to fight with
people and I'm certainly notgoing to fight with the majority
of people about something.
And I'm going to say this aswith and I know it's going to
get people really upset, I know,when it comes to art, I think

(24:59):
hating something, it's kind oflike.
You know, we can honestly say Ihate country music, but I would
never disrespect it and I wouldnever.
I would never dismiss it ordismiss other people for hating
it.
You know what I mean Like, andI actually respect country music
.
You know as much as I getaround about hating it or
whatever, and I think that'swhat it is.
You know it's kind of, um, Idon't like when people all right
, I'm going to defend it thisway as well when you're on a

(25:20):
movie set and you see how muchwork it takes to create
something so magnificent, andthen you see something like La
La Land or whatever it is itdoesn't matter Star Trek, it
doesn't matter, whatever it is,you want to when you see how
it's made, even if it's bad, youknow how much work it took to
do it and I will honestly tellyou, la La Land may not be your
flavor, but it's one of thosemovies or one of those moments

(25:43):
in time where people either loveit or they hate it.
It just is what it is.
You know what I mean and I'mjust saying respect it, and I
think that's what you felt therewas.
A part of me was heartbroken byhearing and I know we're being
funny and it was funny, whateverbut first of all I was shocked
at that much Like of all themovies you could pick to hate, I

(26:04):
was like that threw me for aloop.
You know Trash basura.
It was so funny.
But I think that's kind of thething too is like for me.
I'm also, you know, I studiedfilm in college.
I, you know, y'all know I cameout here to be a I love film.
So there are very few filmsthat you're ever going to hear
me talk about in that negative,kind of nasty way.

(26:25):
It would never.
I would never.
I may not like something, I maydislike it.
It may not be my genre, it maynot be something I think is
well-made, but I would never bethat angst about it.
Does that make sense?
And I know you guys are beingfunny, but I you know, fucking
Mario was hilarious, I think Idid the clip for that right.

Rick Costa (26:44):
Because it was so funny.
What movie was that?

Because we didn't say it in the clip.
Yeah, yeah, oh, the first clipbecause I used it as a teaser,
the first clip for people tocome and see the Sunday show.
See, I'm trying to do newthings.
Trying to do new things, butyeah, I mean that's kind of a
great example.
Like you know, one of myclients, you know, screamed and
yelled at me and to other peoplein a meeting and everyone's
first reaction is they think I'mgoing to get up and start

(27:08):
screaming back.
Or I'm going to, you know, andI I get up and walked away, you
know, and I'm just like when,when you can respect me, we can
have a conversation, but I'm notgoing to scream back and forth
with people.
I mean, I've done it, but youknow what I'm saying.
So, yeah, yeah, I need a minute.

Rick Costa (27:22):
I think I tend to not automatically trash
something.
I instead go to but what if wedid it like this?
And I see the possibilities andlike, oh, this could be better
like this, instead of justtrashing something I don't like
it, my brain goes to how couldwe have made it better?
Like that's kind of how mybrain goes to.

Or is, or is it possible that it's just not your
thing, like I don't have tomake anything better.
Like it doesn't matter how muchyou love whatever horror movie
you love, like I don't know.
Like there's nothing gonna makeit better, except that it's a
different movie.
That isn't about horror.
It's just not my thing.
It's also like when I go to themuseum or something and I see
you know, uh, who who is?
Is it picasso?
Is it, is it Picasso?
Who did all the kind of I don'tknow.

(28:06):
It's not just abstract, but it'slike everyone's face is like
crooked, yeah, picasso.
And everyone's like, oh my God.
And I'm like, yeah, not mything, I see nothing in that for
me.
I think it's weird, it'sderanged, it makes no sense.
And yet if you look at Pollockand if you don't know who

(28:39):
Pollock is but Pollock did allthe drops of paint on picasso is
ridiculous, like in my I meannot ridiculous, I respect the
art, but you know what I meanlike I have no joy in it.
I'm like, yeah, that doesn'twork for me, but yet pollock is
just a mess of and I'm likethat's lovely, I would pay one
million dollars for that right,yeah, yeah.

Rick Costa (28:56):
When I first saw picasso stuff not realizing,
realizing, that's kind of astyle in and of itself.
Yes, yes, who's four-year-olddrew that.

I agree.
I mean, look, I'm not trying todis Picasso, I'm just saying
that's kind of the difference.
But yeah, I had the samefeeling and the same kind of,
and also I kept thinking, likethis is somebody with like
issues of the human spirit.
That's where I went.
Why else would you break upsomeone's base and do that and
and you know, and again, that'swhat art does, that's the beauty

(29:26):
of it, you know?
Um, yeah, yeah.

Rick Costa (29:30):
It was shocking.
And they recently have somebodysell something for like a ton
of money, and it was.
It was a banana with tape tothe wall or something.
Oh, you are kidding me, right?
Yeah.

And then they did a Super Bowl commercial with
Chris Hemsworth eating thebanana.
That was the art piece.
You didn't see it.
Yes, it's like all the Chris's.
I think it was like ChrisHemsworth or Chris Pratt or
something, I don't know.
I don't know who was in thecommercial, but basically
they're walking around a museumor something and all of a sudden
, you know they see that piecewhich is the banana with the

(30:02):
silver tape across it, andthey're like whatever.
And then you know they shoot tosomething else, and then Chris
comes over with the banana andhe's eating it and then the
other.
I forget who the other actorwas.
I don't know why.
I think it's Chris Pratt.

Rick Costa (30:12):
Chris Pratt.

I don't know who it was, but the enough for
people to spend millions ofdollars.
I don't get it.
I understand why the artistmade the piece, but why would
anyone want to buy that formillions of dollars?
Like you could do it yourselfat home.
I could do it myself.

Rick Costa (30:42):
I think it's like a one-time, like a first time
one-time thing, because then ohI'm gonna do that too.
I'll put a tape on the apple,whatever, but nobody's gonna
care because it's already beendone before I know, but then,
but I know, but I don't.

But you see what I'm saying, like, so then I
don't get it right like I'm.
I'm over here like being likecan you subscribe to my sub
stack?
Don't worry about paying likelike $8 a month or something,
just do the free one.
And here are people putting afucking banana with a piece of
tape over it and gettingzillions of dollars.
Here I am spending like fourdays writing my first article.
I'm just saying it's justinteresting.

(31:16):
That's the brilliance of art.
So yeah, I will say, gettingback to the pet peeve thing I
think that's one of my petpeeves is when people disrespect
especially.
It's not just art, but for me,because I love film so much, it
hurts me, I don't know.
But that's why you saw meretreat when that happened.

(31:36):
First of all, I was shook bythe movie, but it was also like
I, I don't, I, I've always lovedHollywood, it's always been a
part of me.
And and being on set Then youguys have been on set, you've
seen movies being shot orwhatever, and it's fascinating,
right, and I think when you seehow many thousands of people
especially for La La Land, butfor any movie that it takes to

(31:56):
just create a movie, even ifit's horror, I'm like okay, but
respect, you know, I'd love to.
I'd love to film a movie andI'm hoping to create at least a
script for it, and I would loveto do that.
But it takes a lot of work and alot of money yeah, and a lot of

(32:17):
people and yeah no, I'm sad,I'm like I'm never gonna be able
to you able to create a movieor something I want to.
I think it'd be so cool.
I have a storyline in place todo it and yeah, again, it's that
thing.
Like you know what my pet peeveis?
Can I tell you that everythingtakes money.
If you don't have money, youcan't do Jack.

Rick Costa (32:40):
Unless you got a banana.

Somebody has to give you the money for that
banana with the.
What's that silver tape called?
I keep calling it silver tape.
Duct tape, Duct tape.
Yeah, I keep calling it silvertape.

Rick Costa (32:51):
That's all it was was just plain duct tape.

It's duct tape, it's a banana with duct tape.
And here's the thing you haveto change out the banana that's
part of the art piece, becausethey're ripe.
I'm like, I'm just saying Ithink one of my pet peeves is
that the world functions onmoney and I still wouldn't do

(33:13):
anything differently than theway I have done it my entire
life, because it's all I coulddo is pursue my dreams the way I
could, because somebody wasasking me that day, would you
say it's more important foryoung people today to try to
make as much money as possiblebefore they pursue their dream.
And I'm like I don't even knowif I could have ever done that.
I don't think I could have ever, just been like, okay, my focus
has to be making a lot of moneyand then I'll go and pursue my
dream, because I think when youhave a passion and a dream,

(33:36):
that's what encompasses you.
But this world is all aboutmoney and unless you know
somebody who gives a real shitabout your banana and duct, tape
art piece.

Rick Costa (33:47):
I think that's why we like star trek so much,
because that's that's passe.
There's no.
Oh, let me get paid.
No, pay, what's that?
What's that?

well, the power structure is different, right?
I mean, I think that's kind ofwhat it is.
And I mean so we're onlytalking about the enterprise,
the world of the enterprise wesee, and what we think the
Federation is like, right, andwhat the world is like.
Cynthia is like do I even needto be here?
But you've seen Star Trek, soyou understand.
But money, there's no, there'snot a money thing.
It's not like oh I, I need tocreate a Shakespearean play and

(34:19):
I have to charge people.
No, you just go and work on itand then you invite people and
you do your thing, you know.
But I said this the other day ifit wasn't money, it would be
something else in order tosucceed, because it's, it seems
to be the way in which humansare.
Everything is about if I giveyou something, you have to give
me something in return to getthat thing Right.

(34:40):
So if you need wood to makeyour house and I have the wood I
can't just give it to you forfree, because maybe I need eggs
and maybe you have a chicken orsomething, I don't know.
I'm not trying to be sosimplistic about it, but when
you think about how this,especially in our country,
capitalism, how it all started.
I mean, I think that's kind ofthe thing is we.
We don't do things just to dothem out of the graciousness of

(35:03):
our heart and because we wantyou to succeed, which is what
the story of Star Trek is right.
It's like they want data tosucceed so badly at being human.
They're like, yes, read thisbook, yes, try this, yes, play
this musical instrument.
And so he just does it.
They do that because they wanthim to succeed.
We don't do that in thiscountry especially, but we don't

(35:24):
do that in the world.
We don't do anything withoutgetting something for it, and
I'm not trying to be mean, I'mjust saying that's true.

Rick Costa (35:30):
I think there's always been bartering that's
time.
I saw somebody postingsomething the other day that
their electricity had gotten cutoff.
They didn't have the money andthey're freezing they're really
cold and the refrigerator food'sgetting spoiled and it was like
I felt so horrible.
I was like why can't I be amillionaire?
Because I would get a splitsecond.
Give you whatever you need.
That's in me to do that like.

(35:50):
I would definitely do thatwithout thinking twice and I'm
like I'm broke too, darn it Ican't.

I want it so bad.
I think one of the things thatwas interesting about that is
this is somebody who would neverpost on Facebook and Instagram
that they needed help.
This is like and I'm gonnaknock on wood right now I would
never post on Facebook andInstagram saying I need help and
please can you give me somemoney.
And that's how I knew this wasfor real real.
And, by the way, this issomeone who has spent their

(36:18):
entire life helping other peopleand they got into a bad space.
They got into a bad place and Iwas like I was the same way,
rick.
I was like fuck, if I had themoney, I would just be like girl
, take those posts down, I gotyou.
I would just send her thefucking money.
But you know what ended uphappening?
People were on there being likeis this?

(36:39):
This is how?
This is how much I knew.
It was so heart-wrench.
Her, all of her friends onFacebook not all of them, a lot
of them were like is this reallyyou?
You would never do this.
I need somebody to have aconversation with you.
And she's like I don't have anypower, I can't get on a
FaceTime call.

So then people, I'm sorry, that is not a
friend, because if that wasyour friend, you, you would
automatically just call them.
Hey, are you?

okay, that's what somebody else did and said to
verify.
So there's the part wherepeople are unsure if that's her
on Facebook.
Because, cynthia, it would belike if I went on Facebook and
wrote it really is like this IfI were to go on Facebook and say
I'm having a really hard time.
I don't have any electricity onright now, I don't have any
money.
Can you please go to my Venmoand send me some cash?

(37:20):
I'm trying to raise enoughmoney.
Blah, blah, blah to get mylights back on.

First of all , I'm not going to send you a
text, I'm not going to send youanother message on Facebook.
I'm going to call you, I know,but you can't reach her because
her phone is not working.

That's the problem.
She's having no-transcript help.
And so people are all like isthis really her?
I need somebody to do afacetime to check.
Somebody hacked her account.

(37:52):
And I'm like, oh my god, and Iknow that that's her, venmo, I
know that that's her.

Rick Costa (37:59):
And I don't even know her super well, but just
from little key things she wrote, I knew it was her.
I didn't question it.
I knew it was her.

But I understand why people you know what I mean,
I know what you're saying, butI know why somebody questioned
it, because it's something thatno one would ever expect.
You would never expect me to,cynthia, if I think that's kind
of the thing it's like, and Iknow, rick, I agree with you.

(38:25):
I mean it's one of my petpeeves.
I wish I had enough moneybecause I would have been like,
take that shit down.
I got you, take it down, but Iit's money.
No one should be without fuckingelectricity in this country.
Nobody should be homeless inthis fucking country.
Nobody should be suffering thisbadly.
I don't give a fuck.
And this idea that people arelazy or that people that's not

(38:46):
what it is either.
We fall on hard times, thingshappen, things are extremely
expensive Medical care we areall one paycheck away from being
homeless.
I don't give a fuck who you are, unless you are Elon Musk or
all these other people who gotmoney, money, money, homeless.
I don't give a fuck who you are, unless you are Elon Musk or
all these other people who gotmoney, money, money.
Everybody.
My.
I have clients who have lots ofmoney, who freaked out because
they lost half a million dollarsand are now not going to hire

(39:09):
somebody that we need to hirebecause they're so afraid of the
market.
That's somebody who has money,money not me money, money, money
, money, and they're freakingout, and so because they have a
family, you know, and they haveto help people and they take
care of people and it's like sowhat do you think the rest of us
are doing?

Rick Costa (39:26):
Another pet peeve I have is people that say oh yeah,
me too.
I live paycheck to paycheck.
The next day, be like check outmy new shoes, ain't they cool?
I'm like, come to me with nopaycheck.
All I buy is food, that's it.
What do you mean?
You live paycheck to paycheck?

I know, okay, I feel a little guilty there
because I, yeah, I do livepaycheck to paycheck.
I just don't have children oranyone to take care of, and so I
am, you know, going to go getmy hair done soon.
No, I just, I agree with you.
I think it's also people whocry poverty and use money
unwisely.
You know what I mean, um, so Iagree with you.

(40:04):
I actually do have to get myhair done, but, if you've
noticed, I haven't so because,because I know, I mean, the
market is volatile and I alsoknow two of my clients who lost
their homes, um, are not goingto be able to keep paying us.
You know they lost them duringthe fires.
So I already know things areabout to get tight too.
But that's what I mean.
Like, I mean, will I be okayfor a couple months, sure, but
after that, what am I going todo about my housekeeper If I

(40:28):
Botox?
You have that t-shirt.

Rick Costa (40:30):
Here's the thing though.

I already told her.
I already told her that afterJune I couldn't have her anymore
.
She doesn't know.
But that's what you do.
You try to set yourself up, youknow?
Oh my God, it's such adepressing.
It's supposed to be funny.

Rick Costa (40:52):
Or a laugh, at least Laughing at her.
I know.

I just hope that our friend got what she needed.
I think everyone pulledtogether and helped her out, so
I hope she got everything sheneeded and that she's okay.
And what a tough situation tobe in.
But I think that's probably oneof my biggest pet peeves for
this country is we have an ideaof what homelessness is.
We have an idea of what povertyis.
We have an idea of what need is.

(41:16):
And I'm sorry, in this country,in this great country of ours,
no one should ever be in thatsituation, really.
No, we have so much.
We really should not ever be.
And that's not about laziness,that's not about pull yourself
up by your bootstraps, it's notabout fucking socialism.
It's about this country has somuch abundance, kind and lovely

(41:37):
to each other.
And if we were people whoreally cared about each other as
neighbors, we wouldn't look ata homeless person and just
assume that they deserve to bethere.

Rick Costa (41:47):
Right.
I mean, have these people eventalk to them?
I mean that I just actually Ijust did it once where we it was
a bunch of church people hewent one night and just talked
to homeless people and thatchanged me, it really did.
It's like changed me, it reallydid.
It's like, wow, some of thesepeople some of them, yes,
they're a little mentally and soyou kind of understand why
they're in a situation some ofthem just fell in hard times.
They just couldn't get back ontrack, you know can we explain

(42:09):
the mentally thing, the limit?

can I give you a scenario and I'm not really
saying it for you, I'm saying itfor other people because that's
one of my pet peeves.
Okay, like so, let me put it toyou this way.
So the other other day I Iactually did a tick talk about
it I went to the grocery storeand I bought a bottle of wine.
And then I bought like asmaller bottle of wine.
Like there's these cute littleum, I'd show it to you, but I
already drank it.
It's like a little, it's like alittle one.

(42:31):
You can just get like twoglasses.
I've never seen like a miniwine bottle.
You know what I'm talking about.
So I was like you know I'mgonna have a glass of wine or
whatever, but anyways, so I havea glass of wine because I had a
tough day.
So can you imagine if I washomeless and on the street,
having a really tough bunch ofdays strung together and

(42:56):
couldn't find my way to a placewhere I could get help?
Or maybe I did go to theshelter and when I got to the
shelter I got harassed by someguy who was drunk and all handsy
or whatever.
Because if you've ever been toa homeless shelter.
It's not like you all have yourown private rooms, okay, Um, or
maybe when I went to go gethelp, snap benefits or welfare

(43:16):
benefits or something just totry to get me out of the
situation I'm in, becauseactually what happened to me was
I had a medical surgery thingthat happened, and then at the
same time my husband died, andwhen he died I didn't get any of
his social security benefitsbecause of a little snafu in the
system that said, I didn't getto earn them.
And then I got into a medicaldilemma and then oh, by the way,

(43:39):
I ended up not being able topay the rent because I was a
caretaker while my husband wasalive, dealing with cancer or
whatever, and so I lost my job.
I'm just spitballingpossibilities here of stories I
know have happened and we've allheard.
But that's how it happens.
It doesn't mean that thatperson wasn't a valuable human
being with ideas and a heart andpassions, but when things go

(44:04):
bad, they can go very, very bad,and then you end up in a
shelter, you end up trying toget help.
It gets harder and harder.
It is actually easier,especially if you live in
California.
I can't say the same forVermont or Boston.
But if you live in California,it is so much easier to sleep on
that beach with the beautifulsky at night, with the waves
rolling, with your glass of winethat maybe you bought with some

(44:29):
money you panhandled becauseyou've had a bad day.
You see where I'm going withthis.
You see how easy it is tobecome an alcoholic or to become
someone who's constantly tryingto just rid yourself of the
pain that you're in by drinking.
But I'm not advocating for it.
I'm not saying this is whatshould happen.
I'm saying there but for thegrace of God, go.
I, motherfucking bitches, stopbeing an ass to homeless people.

(44:51):
And Rick, what you said seepeople for who they are.

Rick Costa (44:55):
Yeah, I bet so many of them probably say to
themselves I don't even get here.

I don't even get here.
I can't believe this.
All of them say that and youknow drugs is the easiest way to
.
I just told you I drank, youknow, a little mini bottle of
wine because I had a hard day.
I can't imagine what it wouldbe like, you know, okay.
So so maybe somebody gives youa $10 bill or something you know
, when you're panhandling, maybewhatever you get like 20, I
don't know how much people makepanhandling, but maybe it's
enough to like get you food.

(45:23):
But why get food when you canget high and not think about it
anymore?
But we all want to be somoralistic, right?
We all want to be like, but Iwould, you know what?
What's $10 going to get you?
$10 ain't going to get you anapartment.

Rick Costa (45:38):
It's so little pleasure as it is.

So it's so little pleasure as it is, so why not?
Yeah, yeah, and I look at my.
I mean, you know we keeptalking about pet peeves, but my
pet peeve is us being heartlessand unkind but then saying that
we would be like, right, yeah,I would help anybody really,
really.

Those are the same ones that say I got you
.

I got you, I'm here for you.
I will support you by bysubscribing to your sub stack or
your.
I got you, carmen, I got youExactly.
Yeah, pet peeves about yourneighbors?
Yeah, I'm not gonna waste mytime on them.

How about traveling?
Pet peeves about traveling.
Do you have a pet?
Pet bugs?
That is number one.
Number one pet bugs.

That's funny.
What's your pet peeve abouttraveling?

Not being at the airport on time.
I hate rushing.
Who wouldn't?

be at the airport on time.
Oh, I'm always on time at theairport on time.
Oh, I'm, I'm always on time atthe oh.

I always have to tell people that our
flight leaves about a half hourto an hour earlier than what it
does, so that we can get thereon time and have enough time to
relax are we when we're talkingabout people, are the people
we're talking about one and webring it full circle so funny.

Oh yeah, there's a woman on TikTok who I forget
what her name is, but I followher on TikTok and she goes up to
random people and asks themquestions and she'll say things
and she's Black, she's a Blackwoman and what she's actually
asking them is questions to seeif they know anything about
being Black.

Rick Costa (47:19):
Oh, Lexi.

She'll go up to black people and ask them and
she'll be like what, what, what,what?

Rick Costa (47:24):
Yeah, soul school.

It's so funny, so she'll go up and ask them if I
say I'm 20 minutes away, whattime am I going to get there?
Of course the answer is like anhour and a half, so she does
all those.

I saw her one time and she was asking a
white girl and she knew all theanswers.
She goes, she's invited to thebarbecue.
Yeah, she goes you sure youweren't black in your previous
life, right?
She has an extra point right.

Well, like my favorite one, because it really
is really distinct is likeshe'll be, like god is good and
white people always say god isgreat.
The answer is all the timeRight, all the time, all the
time.
God is good.
It's so funny.
Yeah, it always cracks me up.

Rick Costa (48:06):
I crack up too and she's like who is Booba the fool
?
Not me, I don't know, I don'tknow, I don't know.
But then the black people arelike right me.

People don't understand mom and them.
Do you guys get what mom andthem is?
It's mom and them.
So when she says who's mom andthem, everyone's like, uh, what
I don't know?
It's like mom and them.
So it's anybody, it's all youranybody, the mailman, the
anybody who's in the room at thetime mom and them.
It just it's so funny because Iwhat a smart, interesting
tiktok she, I mean brilliant,and I I didn't know you guys
followed her.
Okay, good, she's really great.
She's really great.

(48:42):
Um, all right, well, I'm gonnaend this.
Um, thank you so much.
That was so much fun.
Thank you so much for being inthe private lounge and remember
at the end of the day.
Oh, I should do a little bit ofpromoting ourselves, huh, yeah,
so we are on youtube.
You can find it under my name,which is carmen lisette.
Um, you can also try to googleit all about the joy, but I
don't think it comes up underYouTube there.
But you can also go toaatjoycom to find all of our

(49:06):
links.
Please also come and check usout on Friday nights at 6 PM
Pacific, 9 PM Easter, where wehave our live show and anyone
can come and join in in the chat, and sometimes we'll have you
come on If you have time.
We had a great show last weekwith somebody.
Where was he from, I forget.

Rick Costa (49:23):
Maslam from England, Michael, but I'm so used to
calling him Maslam.

That's always how he is.
Yeah, but he was from Turkey.
He's originally from Turkey,yeah he's originally from Turkey
.
It was really nice and he cameon and that was really fun and
Brian joined us.
You there and that's it.
But remember, at the end of theday it really is all about the
joy.
Bye everyone, good night Bye.
Thanks for stopping by.

(49:48):
All About the Joy Be better andstay beautiful folks.
Have a sweet day.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Truths About Work, Friends, and Money - Pet Peeves Revealed