Are you a passenger parent? Yes, that’s a real thing. If you’re deferring to mom all the time or around your kids but not really engaged with them, you could be a passenger parent—just along for the ride. In this episode of the All Pro Dad Podcast, host Ted Lowe is joined by BJ Foster and Bobby Lewis to talk about how to avoid falling into this trap and staying fully engaged with our family.
Why This Matters
Our kids need us to be fully engaged dads, not part-time parents.
What causes passenger parenting? Research says...
1. Lack of Confidence
2. Fear of Criticism
3. Cultural Conditioning
4. Overwhelm and Distraction
5. No Shared Game Plan
Action Steps for Dads
1: Step in without being asked.
Take initiative on tasks like meals, bedtime, or school runs.
2: Take full responsibility for some things.
Own a specific area, like sports schedules or bath time, from start to finish.
3: Learn the details.
Know your kids’ routines, needs, and important dates so you can act without reminders.
4: Stay engaged.
Put away distractions, focus on your kids and what’s happening in the moment.
5: Plan together.
Have regular check-ins with your wife to divide responsibilities and make adjustments.
Important Episode Timestamps
00:00 – 02:21 | The Viral Mime Video and Dad Judgment
02:21 – 03:12 | What is Passenger Parenting?
03:12 – 04:01 | Five Signs You Might Be a Passenger Parent
04:01 – 05:21 | When Dad Checks Out Without Realizing It
05:21 – 07:17 | Why Moms Often Know More
07:17 – 08:20 | Solo Parenting Reveals the Gaps
08:20 – 09:14 | Three Questions Every Dad Should Ask Himself
09:14 – 13:07 | Don’t Wait Until Your Wife Hits a Breaking Point
13:07 – End | Developing Shared Leadership at Home
APD Pro Move:
Schedule a conversation with your wife and ask, “Do you see me as a passenger parent?”
All Pro Dad Resources:
Episode 92 – What’s the Best Part About Raising Boys?
Episode 97 – What’s the Best Part About Being a Girl Dad?
Connect with Us:
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This episode's blog can also be viewed here on AllProDad.com.
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