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February 19, 2025 • 14 mins

Could your perception as a leader be the very thing that's holding your team back? Join us as we journey into the heart of leadership dynamics, examining how the ways leaders perceive and interact with their teams can be a catalyst for growth or an obstacle to success. Through personal stories and vivid illustrations, we uncover the transformative power of seeing potential in others, and how something as simple as words of encouragement can dramatically enhance team performance and satisfaction. From the pivotal influence of a remarkable teacher to the subtle dangers of ego in leadership, we challenge you to re-evaluate how your perceptions shape the environment you create for your team.

In this thought-provoking episode, we dissect the common trap of categorizing individuals within set roles, often stifling their development. By sharing anecdotes and reflections, we illuminate the importance of recognizing and fostering incremental progress, and the profound impact this can have on personal and collective growth. We also pose the critical question: do you see your team members as merely incapable, or as individuals brimming with untapped potential? Delve into the nuances of effective leadership and discover insights that can redefine your approach, inspiring growth not only in your team but within yourself as well.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
you would lead them as you see them.
That will never change.
So if your group isn't thriving, ask yourself is it their
performance or your perception?
How do you see the peoplearound you?
How do you see them?
How do you interact with them?
Do you speak life over them?

(00:22):
Do you pour life into them?
Because if you don't, you mayhave amazing people that will
leave you and go to anenvironment where they're
getting the oxygen they seek.
If you actually took time tolearn about how incredible you
were, nothing would ever stopyou.

(00:43):
I'm excited about this video.
I'm excited about this video.
I am excited about thisconversation.
I'm excited.
Right, you see value out ofthis?
Like, comment, share, rewatch,take in.
If you're a leader, you'regonna get so much out of this.
If you're leading people oh myGod, you are gonna get so much

(01:04):
out of this.
Make sure you leading people.
Oh my God, you are going to getso much out of this.
Make sure you share thisinformation, because we know
that information, shared, canmake a difference to somebody,
but it can go way beyond theperson you shared it with.
All right, so let's get into itLeadership.
So when I was in school, I had ateacher and I was not doing
well in math class and they saidsomething to me.

(01:26):
They said to me well, you know,not everyone's cracked up to be
great at math, that's true, butwhen you say that to someone
who's like 12 years old, itsticks.
I'd always been great, up untilthat point, with math.
But from that point I began tostruggle.
I just began to like it justwasn't clicking and I couldn't
understand what was going on.

(01:46):
People around me couldn'tunderstand what was going on.
What I didn't understand at thetime was those words, those
words.
Words have power, no matterwhat anyone says.
Six in stones, we got it.
But words do matter, especiallywith a young mind.
But it doesn't matter if yourmind is young, just in general.
Later on I'm progressing throughschool.
I have another math teacher andshe says to me well, I know you

(02:07):
can do the work, let's just doit together.
And I sat down with her.
I'd go to her after class andthe way she talked to me was
totally different.
She said to me at one of oursessions oh, son, you're going
to be great at this.
Oh, my God, look at yourprogress.
Oh, this is fantastic.
You're going to be a greatteacher, and I'm thinking great
teacher.
In my mind I'm still hearingechoes of the conversation from

(02:30):
the other teacher who said noteveryone's cracked up to be good
at math.
I ended up scoring really wellwith her.
I did way way better.
I jumped up from like a C minusto an A minus in her class,
which was massive for me.
Because I'm further along, thework is getting harder, but I
have a different leader.

(02:51):
So look at the teacher and flipthe word teacher with the word
leader.
All right, let me explain whatthe difference was.
It was how they saw me.
That's it.
It wasn't the information thatwas in front, it was what they
saw in me that made all thedifference.
So I want to give you thisprinciple right now and helping

(03:13):
people grow to their best selves, which is you lead them how you
see them.
You lead them how you see them.

(03:34):
You see, the first teacher sawme as not being really great, so
his relating to me was notgreat math student, and so he
would talk to me like are yougetting this, james?
He would talk to me in that wayand some of you in positions
you know what I'm talking aboutwhere you have someone in a
leadership role, a coach,whatever that is and you know

(03:58):
that there's a conflict betweenhow you see yourself and how
they see you, and they can beginto chip away a little bit at
your ability to perform at ahigh level.
Sometimes you're just notmotivated to perform at a high
level for them, with them,because you know they don't see
you great, so you don't actgreat, you don't go above and

(04:19):
beyond.
Then, at the other end of thespectrum, there's somebody else
who sees absolutely nothing butthe highest end of the spectrum.
There's somebody else who seesabsolutely nothing but the
highest version of you.
They see you winning, thriving,assuming great roles of
leadership.
They see you outside of yourcomfort zones, right, and they
relate to you.
How they see you, you see, ifyou see people great, they tend

(04:43):
to get greater.
If you see people small, theytend to shrink at least away
from you.
I've seen people that make somuch money leave the
organizations they make so muchmoney with because of how they
were being seen.
Pride is a powerful thing.
The way we see ourselves, ourself-esteem is a very, very
powerful thing.
The way we see ourselves, ourself-esteem is a very, very

(05:05):
powerful thing.
And when you're under anumbrella of leadership that sees
you small, even if you're beingpaid well, even if you have an
amazing title, even if you havepeople around you that are
saying what are you thinking youshould be so happy.
You won't be happy Because theenvironment that you're in
you're not seen big.

(05:26):
You see, when my kids were born,this was really a strange thing
for me.
They said, okay, they explaineda pacifier.
And I remember thinking tomyself why would I want a
pacifier?
For nine months they haven'tsaid a word.
So I never gave my kidspacifier.
For nine months they never saida word.
They were in the thing, allright, they were in the thing.
So they're in the wombifier.
For nine months they never saida word.

(05:47):
They were in the thing, allright, they were in the thing.
So they're in the womb.
They're not talking, they getout.
First thing we do is give thema pacifier so that they'll be
quiet.
But they have something to say,and so I've always tried to
relate to my up.
I talked to them.

(06:07):
Now, my six-year-old I talkedto her.
Now, like you know, she fullyembraces everything that I say,
but for her entire life we'vehad full conversations because I
see her one day grown.
I don't see her forever as achild and the only way that
she's going to grow to adultlanguage is if I have adult
language with her now.
It's not going to happenaccidentally, so I don't say
things.

(06:27):
And when she was a baby Ididn't say do you see, daddy?
Well, leaders do this all thetime.
Leaders do this all the timeunknowingly.
We categorize people.
We say, okay, she's not reallythat motivated, she's kind of
lazy man, he's my guy, he's theone, I like him.
And we begin to relate and look, it's human nature.
It's human nature to put peoplein categories.

(06:48):
You're not going to fall inlove with everybody.
That's a fact.
However, when you're leadingpeople, it is a great mistake.
It is a great, great mistake totrap people.
You see, you don't have to seeeveryone at the same level, but
what you do have to get great atis seeing them at another level
.
They don't have to be at thesame level, but you, as a leader

(07:09):
, your role is to take people toanother level.
Maybe they're a B student, a Cstudent, a D student, but under
your leadership, that D studentgetting to a C, that's
unbelievable.
That C student getting to a B,that's unbelievable.
I will not forget when I sat inthat teacher's class and I was

(07:32):
so used to seeing C's and C'sand C's and C's and C's, the
moment I saw a B, oh my God, itwas like the most incredible.
It was the most incrediblefeeling to see a B, love that B,
and I wanted more.
I wanted to do better becausethat was an insight to me that I
could do better.
I'd already done great before,but I let that conversation

(07:54):
dismantle my potential.
And that other teacher thankGod she came along and planted
new programming in my software.
What is the programming you'regiving your people right now
programming in my software?
What is the programming you'regiving your people right now?
Are you leading them with I seethem at their greatest, next
level, or are you leading themlike they'll never get it?
They're not, and usually thatcomes from ego.

(08:16):
Usually that comes from youthink you're smarter than them.
You know, there's an old, therewas an old um, there was an old
episode of a show called Batman, the animated series, and for
those of you who are, you know,90s kids, this was the show and
I'll never forget this episodewhere this guy was talking to
the guy who eventually becamethe Riddler and he said if

(08:37):
you're so smart, why aren't yourich?
I'll never forget that.
If you're so smart, why aren'tyou rich?
And it was one of the mosthumbling.
Here's this guy who had allthis ego.
He was like I'm so smart, I'mso smart.
And he had this other guy whowasn't so smart, but he was very
successful, and the thing thatstuck out from the episode, that
was such a powerful question,such a powerful question.

(09:01):
So let me ask you a question.
Powerful question.
So let me ask you a question Ifyou're a great leader, how many
are following you?
If you're a great leader, howmany are following you?
Here's the keyword voluntarily.
Ah, there's the word.
You see, because if I'mfollowing you because you have a
paycheck and you can fire me,that's not quite the same thing.

(09:24):
I'm afraid to lose my job, soI'm going to do what you say.
Doing what you say is not thesame as someone being led by you
voluntarily.
Someone being led by youvoluntarily is saying I trust
that you are orchestrating asituation for me to thrive.

(09:47):
That's what it's saying.
If people don't feel that fromyou, they'll eventually go
somewhere else, they will.
They may not go there today,but they'll eventually get there
, or they'll be physically there, but they'll be checked out
mentally Because you don't seethem great.
They know you don't see themgreat.
They know you don't see themgreat.
So they're going to give youwhat you see.

(10:08):
They're going to give what yousee.
My first you know gentleman,coach Jack, my shot put discus
coach when I was in high school.
When I say that I think aboutthat man so much, I think about
that man so much because thethings that I learned in
leadership from coach service,it's just, he was a leader.
He was a leader.

(10:29):
He saw me so much better than Icould have seen myself.
I remember he had this oldstation wagon and he'd pull up
and he'd pull up with all thisequipment and he would, you know
, practice with me and he calledme Adlam.
He said Adlam, you're going tobe great.
Adlam.
He's like keep throwing, son,keep throwing.
I want you to visualizeyourself being great.

(10:50):
He's the first person that everused the word visualization
with me, first person ever.
He said I don't want you tolift weights this summer, I just
want you to just see yourselfgetting stronger.
I want you to see the discussailing out your hand.
I want you to see the shot putflying from your shoulder.
Adlam, do it, just do it, justtrust me.
I came back and I broke everyrecord and I didn't touch a
weight.
I just kept my promise to himand I visualized every day when

(11:14):
I broke the school record fordiscus.
If you would have told me theday that I started that I was
going to break a record, I wouldhave looked at you crazy.
But he saw something.
Why he saw something?
Let me tell you what happenedwhen he saw something.
He made me want to get up andget out there.
I was early to every practice.
I came early to every practiceand I was the last one to leave

(11:38):
every practice.
Why I wanted to be in his orbit.
He made me feel better aboutmyself.
He made me feel great.
He made me feel better aboutmyself.
He made me feel great.
He made me feel like I wasimportant.
He made me feel like I couldbelieve in myself.
And everyone wants that.
Everyone wants to be around aleader that sees them better.
And if you're not seeing yourpeople better, shame on you.

(12:01):
You're not a real leader, youjust manage people.
You would lead them as you seethem.
That will never change.
So, if your group isn'tthriving, ask yourself is it

(12:22):
their performance or yourperception?
How do you see the peoplearound you?
How do you see them?
How do you interact with them?
Do you speak life over them?
Do you pour life into them?
Because if you don't, you mayhave amazing people that will

(12:51):
leave you and go to anenvironment where they're
getting the oxygen they seek.
Look, a paycheck is only goingto do so much.
If you want to pay me enough soI don't quit, I'll give you
enough so you don't fire me, andthat's our relationship.
You give me just enough, I giveyou just enough.
That's our relationship.
By the time the day is over.
I'm not thinking about you orI'm not talking well about you.

(13:13):
I'm just trying to get home andget away from you, and if you
don't think that's the truth,you're lying to yourself.
But, man, if you can, if youcan, if you can help me just get
to the next level.
Man, I'm going to be loyal.
I'm going to fight for us.
I'm going to fight for thisthing, this mission that we're
on.
I am because people want to bebetter and we all want to be

(13:38):
around people that help us getto that next level.
It doesn't have to be thehighest level in the
organization, it has to be you.
Help me get to my next level.
It doesn't have to be thehighest level in the
organization, it has to be you.
Help me get to my next level,because if you can help me get
to my next, if you can see me atmy next level, I will be able
to begin to see myself at thelevel beyond that.
You will lead them how you seethem.

(13:59):
So make sure that when you'relooking at the people that
you're working with, you'reseeing the greatest version of
who they can be and you'reguiding them accordingly.
I really hope you really listento this.
This could be the differencebetween an incredible business,
incredible team, an incredibleemployer-employee relationship,

(14:23):
or are you just being surroundedby a bunch of folks who do what
you say because they don't wantto get fired or they don't want
to get cut?
See me better, make me betterand I'll get better.
If you actually took time tolearn about how incredible you
were, nothing would ever stop.
You See, the definition ofsight is the faculty or power of

(14:46):
seeing.
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