Connecting with a Loved One Who has Dementia

So one of the many questions we get that Thoughtfulcare is how do I connect with my dad? He has dementia. And we tell them that the goal is to create an enjoyable experience so that you can spend quality time together. And it might not be perfect in your eyes, but it will be so valuable to your dad. It's easiest if we meet the person with dementia where they are, not where you think they should be. So accept them for who they are completely. And know that the process they are going through and will continue to go through will require you to reassess and adjust the strategies that you will use. And while games like Bridge and Sudoku and crosswords, they might work early on, other activities might be more appropriate as the disease advances and you'll will want to be able to adjust to those changes. Take a deep breath. Smile because your positive outlook will set the tone. As the dementia progresses frustration can increase in both the caregiver and the person with dementia. So the upbeat attitude is a winning attitude. In another talk we discuss behavior logs. Noting behaviors can help avoid outbursts by helping the care team to discover patterns and triggers and likewise avoid activities that may increase frustration. Noting behavior will illustrate the times of day when albums tend to happen and then you can plan the activities that are appropriate for the time of day. You know a common saying amongst professional caregivers is you cannot win an argument with someone with dementia. So remind yourself that you are arguing against a disease and that is simply not one you could possibly win. So let it go.

When it comes to activities tailor them to create a positive experience. People with dementia are oriented in the past, so go there with them. Share some old movies read some short articles listen to some music from the past. It evokes fond memories. Now other activities can be craft based like painting or making a collage. We've seen families create raised gardens on tabletops or outside that they can tend to. We've put up bird feeders near windows so that families can watch life in action. Or simply go outside the outdoors can be so calming, so just go for a stroll. Here are some more tips for you to consider: break longer activities into smaller activities, it's okay to do a staycation outing so make a fun event at home, again movies can transport people to the past to talk about their favorite movies growing up and watch one together, cooking special foods is a way to connect any old recipes or family favorites will engage your loved ones senses and can nurse them in more ways than one. You could take out that old photo album again. You can have conversations about life events of the past. Now at some point the activities that used to work may no longer be appropriate. So you must adapt to keep your loved one engaged. Please do not use the TV as the primary activity. It is so not good for their brain. And for people further along in their processes the activities need to be much simpler. Just fold some hand towels or opening some mail. And do not stop exercising with them or getting fresh air. You just need to adapt to make it safe and easy.

Thoughtful Healthcare offers 24 hour in-home care tailored to your loved one's needs. We've been serving Kansas City and the surrounding areas since 1999. Now back to the podcast.

Now people with dementia do tend to get overwhelmed and they may not be able to verbalize their feelings. So watch for some cues that are say enough. Frustration or listlessness. You might listen for verbal cues such as repeating, "NO" or engaging in expressive language. You might look for visual cues such as lack of attention to the activity or restlessness. And when you notice these indicators just change activities or give it a rest. Enjoy what you have done, hold their hand and give them a pat on the back because human contact is priceless and can connect.

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