The reason its hard for you to make friends: Proverbs 14 & 15 | A Proverb a Day Challenge

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi guys, welcome back to the Amani Talks podcast. You're
here with your host Amani on the podcast where we
discuss our Christian based topics and deepening our relationship with
the Lord. So I am back from the Dominican Republic
Santa Domingo with my church for my first missions trip
that I've ever attended. It was a great time. It
was an eye opening time. We got to really be

(00:21):
in the community and really see the people that the
church that we support, and even other local organizations and
other local churches, how they support their community, how they're
building new churches. We got to be a part of
the children's ministry. I will put a log up this
Saturday if you guys want to, you know, see how

(00:41):
everything went. But it was a great time, like I said,
very educational, very eye opening. Thank you for your prayers.
We got there and back safely. It was just it
was truly an experience and I would recommend that if
any of you have the opportunity to go on a
mission trip with your church and see the missionaries and

(01:04):
see exactly what your church is funding, see firsthand what
Christians around the world are doing. I would it's highly recommended.
It was. Yeah, it was nothing sure of life changing.
If you let it, it can be life changing for you.
And I truly got a real Dominican Republic experience this

(01:24):
time around, because last time I went two years ago,
I went to Punsakana for vacation. This time I was
in Santo Domingo doing work, and y'all, no Wi Fi
at the airbnb. The first day, there was no ac
in the room that four of us were sleeping in
because there was like a lot of us in this house.
Water pressure, like, no hot water like stuff like that,
you know. So I'm sorry that some uploads are missing

(01:46):
because I didn't have Wi Fi. You know, it's not
like a miracle where you could just go anywhere and
there's Wi Fi just in the air on the street.
You know. I didn't even have Wi Fi at the Airbnb,
so I was unable to really like upload. I had
told you guys, what I was gonna do was a
few days that I was out there, I'm just gonna
record with my phone and just upload to YouTube from
my phone, and I was unable to do that. So

(02:07):
we're gonna catch you up today with chapters fourteen and
fifteen of Proverbs because we are still doing our Proverb
a Day challenge. One thing about y'all. Y'all run a
tight ship. Okay. I had people DM and me like,
what's wrong with you? Get back on YouTube? Like literally,
know how did your missions trip go? I hope you
got back safe. I hope everything went well. We miss you.

(02:28):
None of that. Y'all was like, uh huh, get back
on YouTube, boogie. But I appreciate that because listen, it's
accountability and it's very much needed. I love y'all. Were
gonna get back into Proverbs a Day today. We're gonna
double up on chapters today and tomorrow, and then we'll
be caught up by today's Thursday. Friday will be caught
up by Saturday. Okay, let's get into reading Proverbs fourteen.

(02:50):
The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls
it down with her hands. He who walks in his
uprightness fears the lord, but he who was perversing his
despises him. And the mouth of a fool is a
rod of pride, but the lips of the wise will
preserve them where no oxen aar. The troth is clean,
But much increase comes by the strength of an ox.

(03:13):
A faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness
will utter lies. A scoffer seeks wisdom and does not
find it. But knowledge is easy to him who understands.
Go from the presence of a foolish man when you
do not perceive in him the lips of knowledge. The
wisdom of the prudence is to understand his way, but
the folly of fools is deceit. Fools mock at sin,

(03:36):
but among the upright there is favor. The heart knows
its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy.
The house of the wicked will be overthrown, but the
tints of the upright will flourish. There is a way
that seems right to a man, but its end is
the way of death. Even in laughter, the heart may sorrow,
and the end of mirth may be grief. But the

(03:58):
backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways.
But a good man will be satisfied from above. The
simple believes every word, but the prudent considers well his steps.
A wise man fears and departs from evil, but a
fool rages and is self confident. A quick tempered man
acts foolishly, and a man of wicked intentions is hated

(04:18):
the simple inherent folly, but the prudent are crowned with knowledge.
The evil will bow before the good, and the wicked
at the gates of the righteous. The poor man is
hated even by his own neighbor, but the rich has
many friends. He who despises his neighbor sins, But he
who has mercy on the poor, happy is he? Do

(04:38):
they not go astray who devise evil? But mercy and
truth belong to those who devise good and all labor.
There is prophet, but idle chatter leads only to poverty.
The crown of the wise is their riches, but the
foolishness of fools is folly. A true witness delivers souls,
but a deceitful witness speaks lies. In the fear of

(04:59):
the Lord there is strong confidence, and his children will
have a place of refuge. The fear of the Lord
is a fountain of life, to turn one away from
the snares of death. And a multitude of people is
a king's honor. But in the lack of people is
the downfall of a prince. He who is slow to
wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly.

(05:23):
A sound heart is life to the body, but envy
is rottenness to the bones. He who oppresses the poor
reproaches his maker, but he who honors him has mercy
on the needy. The wicked is banished in his wickedness,
but the righteous has a refuge in his death. Wisdom
rests in the heart of him who has understanding, but

(05:44):
what is in the heart of fools is made known.
Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to many,
to any people. The king's favor is toward a wise servant,
but his wrath is against him who causes shame. So
there's a lot that is said in Proverbs fourteen, continuing
on in Solomon's wyse sayings, there is a lot that

(06:08):
you could pull from this. There are a few verses
that stood out to me, Things that definitely I've heard before,
things that are repeated proverbs. You will get some repetition,
but I'm okay with that, because, like we talked about before,
we are hard headed and need to hear it a
few times to really get it through our skulls. So
I will say that the verse that really stuck out
to me that I'm going to discuss today is verse twenty.

(06:31):
The poor man is hated even by his own neighbor,
but the rich has many friends. So when we're in
Matthew five, this is when Jesus is giving one of
his famous sermons. Right he's up on the mountain. He's
given a sermon, and these are the beatitudes. The very
first one that Jesus says. The very first words from

(06:52):
this sermon are Blessed are the poor in spirit, for
theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven. And that's the first
thing I thought when I was reading Proverbs fourteen twenty,
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the
Kingdom of heaven. And then another verse came to mind
when I continue to read that verse. When we go
to Matthew chapter nineteen, starting in verse twenty three, this

(07:13):
is Jesus talking to his disciples, and it says, then
Jesus said to his disciples, assuredly, I say to you
that it is hard for a rich man to enter
the Kingdom of Heaven. And again I say to you,
it is easier for a camel to go through the
eye of a needle than for a rich man to
enter the Kingdom of God. So when Proverbs fourteen is
talking about that contrast between poor and rich, these verses

(07:37):
in Matthew immediately came to mind because we know that
it is hard for people that have money to depend
on God. A lot of us count money as self reliance,
and if you are relying on yourself, you will never
rely on God. And that's why Jesus said, he recognizes
it's hard for rich people to get into heaven because

(07:58):
they think they have it all already. Why would I
need God when I'm living such a great life on earth.
I have money, I have resources, I have opportunities, I
have comforts, I have things that most people don't, so
I feel good about myself. You know, a lot of
people say money doesn't buy happiness, and while that's true,
money cannot literally buy happiness. Money makes us happy, like

(08:18):
let's not act like it does not, because money makes
you feel fulfilled. It gives you accessibility to a lot
of things. You're not happy when you're constantly stressed about
your bills, right. You're not happy when you can't buy
the food that you want. You're not happy when you
have kids and you can't pay for their college there
are a lot of things that do make you happy

(08:40):
when you have money, Like can it buy literal happiness, No,
but it buys ease of mind, it buys, like we said, comfort,
it buys a lot of opportunity, point blank period. And
when you have those things, you do feel like I
don't need nobody but me and my money. So a
lot of the times, it is the rich on earth
who are not following God. Think about all the celebrities,

(09:01):
when we think about the one percent, they're not following God.
They're playing right into the devil's hands of celebrity and
being famous and people worshiping them and praising them instead
of worshiping and praising God. That's all that is. So
when I think about Proverbs fourteen twenty saying, but the
rich has many friends, while the poor his own neighbors
hate him, that verse gives this depiction of the ungodly

(09:25):
versus the godly. The world will hate Christians if it
does not already, it will. And just coming back from
a place like Dominican Republic to where it is a
very Christian nation. They're the only country in the world
that has the Bible in their flag. So we were
really privileged to be in a country that did not

(09:46):
oppose Christians. We could walk out in the street very freely,
and people were not only open to hearing us talk
about Christ, but they invited us into their homes, like literally,
we were in people's houses, in their kitchens. And I
felt like I'm imposing, you know, like this would never
happen in America. You go door knocking and randomly try
to talk to people about Jesus and America people are

(10:07):
low key giving you hostility. But getting back to what
I was saying, this verse really reminded me of the
godly versus the ungodly, and with the being the ungodly
in this situation, and Proverbs is saying the rich have
a lot of friends. It just makes me think about
how sometimes we as Christians it's hard to find Christian friends.
I know it is for me, especially when you're newly

(10:29):
saved or just not coming back to your relationship with
God and you have to give up a lot of
the relationships that you had before. But the ungodly they
have a lot of friends because the world is their friend.
So I want to just point that out because if
you're someone that may be is in an isolation season
right now, or just in general. You've never been one

(10:51):
to really be able to hold on to friends. As
a Christian, make friends. It's not a foreign concept, it's
not you. I truly do believe that when you are
more worldly, you will have more approval from the world
and you will have more friends. That just makes sense.
Maturing is realizing that as a Christian you won't always

(11:11):
be the popular one. You're not gonna be the one
with the big friend group. You're not gonna be the
one that the world loves, and in fact, that the
world loves you, You're doing something wrong, because how could
the world hate Jesus but love you and you're his follower.
You're doing something wrong. The Word tells us that the
world hates us as Christians, and that just makes sense.
The world opposes us. So if the rich has many friends,

(11:34):
and Jesus tells us that it's hard for the rich
to get into Heaven, hard darn near impossible for the
rich on earth to make it into heaven, why should
we follow in their footsteps? Why should we look like them?
A lot of times you will have just a few
close friends. Hopefully, if you plugged in your church and
you're doing what you should be doing. Maybe make friends

(11:55):
along the way in your ministry. You're serving in some capacity,
you'll make us some close friends. If you're lucky, you
know not well not if you're lucky, you know you
guys know what I mean. You'll make some close friends maybe.
But for a lot of Christians we will never have
that large friend group. A lot of us need that
alone time. We need that solitary time with God for
Him to refine us. Some of us are too easily

(12:16):
influenced by the people around us. That's why you won't
have a lot of friends. Some of us are too
easily influenced by the world. That's why you won't have
a big friend group. You let anybody tell you anything.
You're swayed too easily. That's why you won't have the
big friend group. Sometimes God has to, you know, get
us by ourselves a little bit so that we can
really recognize who we are in Christ before we go

(12:39):
out into the world and try to make friends. So
I really want to catch up from a few days
that we skip. So let's get into Proverbs fifteen. If
you guys have a verse and Proverbs fourteen that spoke
to you definitely drop it in the comments. We'll talk
about it, but let's continue on so that we can
catch up. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly,
but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. The eyes

(13:02):
of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on
the evil and the good. A wholesome tongue is a
tree of life, but the perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
A fool despises his father's instruction, but he who receives
correction is prudent. In the house of the righteous there
is much treasure, but in the revenue of the wicked
is trouble. The lips of the wise disperse knowledge, but

(13:26):
the heart of the fool does not do so. The
sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord,
but the prayer of the upright is his delight. The
way of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord,
but he loves him who follows righteousness. Harsh discipline is
for him who forsakes the way, and he who hates
correction will die. Hell and destruction are before the Lord.

(13:48):
So how much more the hearts of the sons of
men A scoffer does not love one who corrects him,
nor will he go to the wise. A merry heart
makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart
the sad spirit is broken. The heart of him who
has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouth of fools feeds
on foolishness. All the days of the afflicted are evil,

(14:09):
but he who is of a merry heart has a
continual feast. Better is a little with the fear of
the Lord than great treasure with trouble. Better is a
dinner of herbs where love is than a fatic calf
with hatred. A wrathful man stirs up strife, but he
who is slow to anger allies or allays contention. The

(14:30):
way of the lazy man is like a hedge of thorns,
but the way of the upright is a highway. A
wise son makes a father glad, but a foolish man
despises his mother. Folly is joy to him who is
destitutes of discernment, but a man of understanding walks uprightly.
Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of
counselors they are established. A man has joy by the

(14:53):
answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due
season how good it is. The way of life winds
upward for the wise, but that he may turn away
from the hell below. The Lord will destroy the house
of the proud, but he will establish the boundary of
the widow. The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination
to the Lord, but the words of the pure are pleasant.

(15:14):
He who is greedy for gain troubles his own house,
but he who hates bribes will live. The heart of
the righteous studies how to answer, but the mouth of
the wicked pours forth evil. The Lord is far from
the wicked, but he hears the prayer of the righteous.
The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and a
good report makes the bones healthy. The ear that hears

(15:34):
the rebuke of life will abide among the wise. He
who disdains instruction despises his own soul, but he who
heeds the rebuke gets understanding. The fear of the Lord
is the instruction of wisdom, and before honor is humility.
So right off the bat, I already know what verse
speaks to me. I mean, there's a couple of them
we're going to talk about. But right off the bat,

(15:55):
beginning in chapter fifteen, verse one, a soft answer to
turn away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Y'all,
this is speaking to me, Okay. I think I have
told you all, and I'm sure that you have seen
with your own eyes. I don't even gotta tell you that.
One of my personal struggles is not necessarily what I say,

(16:18):
it's how I say it. One thing I've learned with
my journey of just being public on social media and
speaking is that you can have all the truth in
the world. You can be right one hundred percent of
the time, but if you're not doing it with love,
it means absolutely nothing. People are sensitive, they just are.

(16:43):
People are emotional. They're sensitive, and a lot of times
they accept and respond with emotion, and that's not necessarily
a bad thing. The Lord created emotions. He made us
to be people that take things in with our own
personal experience, what we've learned, our own take on things,
our own perspective, our own emotion. So that's not necessarily

(17:06):
a bad thing. That's not how I'm wired if I'm
just being honest with you, But if I'm to be
all things to all people, like Paul says, in order
to be effective with teaching, winning over souls, discipling, giving
people the Gospel. If that's my job on this earth,
then I should be appealing to most. And I've learned

(17:29):
that my approach did not always appeal to most. There
was always truth in it, but there was not softness
in it, because sometimes I kind of felt like people
abuse the grace. I feel like we still do. I
feel like Christians abuse grace. I think that Christianity a
lot of times, especially in America, is seen as a

(17:50):
joke because Christians aren't really living out true christ Like lives,
and they do that under the pretense, under the notion
of the Lord knows my heart. I can do this
because God knows me. Who are you to judge? I'm

(18:11):
living out my own salvation. His grace is sufficient for me.
We live under grace, not by the law. A lot
of Christians they take that and they abuse it, and
I see it so often. I see it so often,
and even when we're not talking about Christianity, people in
general abuse crutches. And just to be clear, I'm not

(18:35):
calling God's grace a crutch whatsoever. But when you get
out into the world, all of a sudden, everybody has
a mental illness. When you try to give them a
little bit of accountability. All of a sudden, people are
talking about their trauma from their past. And while all
those things can and are valid, people run to these

(18:57):
emotional crutches. They run to these fake crutches. They self
diagnose themselves out of accountability. And I was just really
frustrated with people lacking common sense and logic and one
plus one equaling too. It just gets very frustrating to
see people constantly dodging accountability and constantly dodging how Christ

(19:20):
tells us to live under grace. People abuse grace. So
I kind of felt like people don't need to hear
grace from me. They are already getting it everywhere else
and they're abusing it. People just need to hear the truth.
And is that correct? Yes? But the Word tells us

(19:41):
that fruit of the spirits gentleness, self control, And if
I don't have those things, if I'm not speaking with love,
then it means absolutely nothing. And when you read James,
James is like the Book of Love. James is telling
us how to be effective in love. That if we
have love, uh, or if we don't have love, we
have nothing. So if I'm not speaking in love, if

(20:04):
I can't speak softly to people. Not only am I
speaking for absolutely nothing because it won't be effective, but
I'm going directly against what God tells me to do
and how he tells me to speak. So it has
been a real learning lesson to try to really if
I have something that I want to say on social media,
sometimes what I'll do is I'll do several drafts and

(20:26):
then I'll go back and I'll say, Okay, does this
sound too harsh? Am I saying this softly enough? Am
I saying it with enough effectiveness that people get the point.
But I don't feel like I'm yelling at people, because
Proverbs is telling us that you're never going to get
far with that approach. If you have truth but no love,

(20:48):
it's worthless. If you have truth, or you're not speaking
it with softness, with humility, with gentleness, it's not going
to be effective. So it's almost like practice softness, practice gentleness,
practice speaking with love, or don't speak at all. It's
like when your mom told you, if you don't get
nothing nice to say, don't talk at all. If you

(21:08):
can't say it with love and with gentleness and with kindness,
don't say it at all. And that is something that
I am learning every single day. It's so hard sometimes
because people are knuckleheads, including myself. I'm not excluding myself
from this. I'm not making myself above the average person.
I'm just saying that we in general, we're knuckleheads. And
sometimes it's like you gotta knock on people's skulls to

(21:31):
get them to understand. That's what it feels like sometimes.
But that does not First of all, sometimes when we're
trying to drive points into people's heads and we're not
saying it with gentleness, we're not saying it as soft
as we can. That is us having a level of
pride that we are able to convince people. And we
talked about that already on another episode. We don't convince

(21:54):
people of anything. Our job is to deliver the gospel
with love, gentleness, kindness, utilizing the fruit of the spirits,
and that is what's going to draw people in and
be effective, and the Lord does the rest. So when
I am like, why don't you get it? Why don't
you get it? That's pride coming from me that I
think that my words and my logic and the way

(22:15):
that I see things are gonna win people over. That's
not true. Another verse that I liked was verse sixteen.
Better is a little with the fear of the Lord
than great treasure with trouble. That reminds me of one
of my favorite verses in First Peter or one Timothy
that talks about contentment with great Godly or contentment with
Godliness is great gain. And I repeat that verse to

(22:35):
myself all the time whenever I want to self indulge,
whenever I feel like, you know, I want things, whenever
I'm not happy in the moment that God has given
me every single breath that I take, whenever I'm not
content with just that, and I want more and more
and more out of this life, out of this world.
Matthew also Jesus and Matthew talks about or talks against

(22:59):
us storing up treasures on earth, sto up our treasures
in heaven. And we know how we get treasures in
heaven by doing God's work on earth. So you know,
contentment with Godliness is great gain. I try to just
learn to be content with what God has given me
to not always want more, because that comes to your
destruction too. You always want more, You're always gonna be broke.

(23:21):
You always want more. That comes with the level of
pride too, because what do you want more for it
to be better than somebody that has less. That's why
we do the things that we do a lot of times.
That's why we buy these fancy cars and we're designer
clothing and stuff like that, is to mark ourselves physically,
to separate ourselves from most people that can't afford stuff
like that, to make us feel better than And when

(23:44):
I was out in the world, I bought a lot
of that stuff. That's why I drive the car that
I drive now. And I have a lot of this
stuff because I stored up treasure for myself when I
was still living against God. And now, you know, I
still just have it. A lot of it. I sell,
you know, a lot of it. I'm just like, I
don't even wear this stuff anymore. I'm selling it on dpop.
By the way, follow my depop. I'll put the Lincoln

(24:05):
in the description box. But yeah, when I was out
in the world, those things were important to me. And
I remember even telling a friend, I was like, you know,
I haven't really felt the need to buy designer stuff anymore.
Like that, you know, like I'm good with like just whatever,
you know, I don't. I don't feel the itch to
go buy a new bag or buy a new pair

(24:25):
of shoes like I used to. I really came to
realize that a lot of that stuff was just a
form of pride for me, and as a Christian, I
should not be buying designer things when I could be
giving that money to people in need around the world,
when I could be storing that money so much better
than buying more designer for myself. If I get gifted it,
that's one thing. But there's a lot of privilege that

(24:47):
comes with the job that I do, where I live,
the money that I had when I was working nightlife,
and that privilege is not always necessarily a good thing.
So you know, I'm truly getting over that. But yeah,
Verse sixteen really spoke to me better as a little
with the fear of the Lord than great treasure with trouble.

(25:08):
And then the last one that really spoke to me
was verse three. The eyes of the Lord are in
every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good.
I just like those reminders. I like those reminders of
God is looking, he is watching. There's another verse I
think in Psalm I gotta find it, but it talks
about how the Lord watches he's seeking us, his eyes

(25:29):
are on the face of the earth. I think it
was in Proverbs, one of the first chapters of Proverbs.
But I just like that reminder that the Lord truly
is watching me even when I feel like he isn't
when I feel like I'm doing good for no reason.
What is my reward on earth for doing good? The
Lord is watching me. I'm storing up treasures in heaven,
not treasure on earth, and that's what we should all
be striving towards as Christians. So yeah, that's chapter fourteen

(25:52):
and fifteen. I am going to do sixteen and seventeen
also to get us call up on the next episode.
Definitely drop those verses that stood out to you guys
in the comments. Thank you guys for being patient with
me with these uploads. I am definitely going to pre
record because I'm leaving for Bali today on my Christian
Girls trip. I'm going to just go ahead and pre
record a lot of episodes because I don't want the

(26:13):
Wi fi situation to stop me again from uploading. I
want to be consistent with you guys, because I know
that you guys are looking out for it. Hey Phil,
I didn't even see him come up here, but yeah, definitely,
I'm going to pre record so that you guys can
we can stay on track. So love you guys. I
will see you Tomato, and pray for me, Pray for
safety for the Christian Girls trip. Just pray that we

(26:33):
have a good time fellowshipping and traveling. And yeah, I'll
see you guys later. Off bye