Dovie Neuberger (Part 3)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everybody, welcome to.
And here's Modi.
I'm in the studio with DoviNeuberger we are.
The last time he was in thestudio was before the summer.
Now we've had a full summer.
Now we're going to chazer thesummer.
We're going to chazer, not asin pig, but chazer as in review.
Go over, see what we remember,what we can bring zhlog up.

(00:20):
We're going to zhlog up whathappened this summer and you had
some.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
you had your first, I guess, cat skill.
Yeah, I would say the theborscht bell tour, but it's what
?
Probably more recently, themodi tour.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
This is what you call it, the old modi tour.
Yeah, exactly um, you hadvacation village vacation was
electric, amazing electric.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
first they start, you get up there and of course the
guy hands you the mic.
He says we just bought a brandnew sound system.
We're installing it the day youleave.
That's how they start everyshow in the Catskills.
We got a new sound system forafter you.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
So, just to set it up , it's these people who own
homes, these adorable homes, andthey're all in a village.
It's a village that theyvacation in, it's called
Vacation Village, and there'sthis beautiful, beautiful,
there's this barn that they allhave their main events in.
It's the stage.
It's also the synagogue, thecasino, they call it.
They call it the casino.
Yes yes, the casino.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
I played in a lot of casinos with Arun, kodesh's and
Bima's this year, right, and Imean they're very I accidentally
called it a bungalow colony,that's like.
That's like the N word forhomeowners association.
Wow, they really didn't likethat.
They're like we're not abungalow, we're a homeowners
association.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
The only thing worse than that is calling it a
kukhalain.
What's a kukhalain?
Kukhalain is Before thebungalows happened.
It was called the kuchelainbecause when they had like these
little homes but there's nokitchen in the home, so there
was like an oven and sinks andthey'd all be in the lane.
So people would do theircooking in the kuchelain cooking

(01:56):
lane.
And could you imagine?
Could you imagine that yourhome is so horrible that you're
okay going up there and cookinginto and so there's a kuchelain.
The only thing worse than beingcalled a bungalow.
Now they call homeownershomeowners association there's
225 homes.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
Every single homeowner there thinks the other
224 are crazy.
I don't know.
They all come up to you forshabbos.
You're going to get a lot ofmaterial here everyone has out
of the fucking minds, right they, they, um, yeah, I um wait,
just so.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
you just the setup.
It's the best show ever.
There's nothing.
It doesn't get better than that.
It was one of the best, it'sthe best show.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
I miss it.
Well, it's set up because theystill have the same room from
when like it's like an oldCatskills Hotel in the middle of
the bungalow.
So it's set up still like anold, like Jackie Mason would
play there, jackie Mason willplay there and it's a semicircle
.
A lot of Jewish shows aren'tset up like conducive to comedy,
but this one, like everyone, iskind of equally distant from
you.
So, it feels like everyone'slike tight packed in and the

(02:52):
lighting is like old, likenightclub vibes.
Right Than it was.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
I have an amazing picture that I'm going to.
I'll make sure Leo pops it intothis thing Of me doing one of
my last shows there.
First of all, my opening lineover there is always I love what
you haven't done with the place.
The place looks like literallyback from 1970s or 60s, and the
green room behind stage is wherethey store the asbestos.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
That's just like it looks.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
So enough asbestos for the whole city it's so
cracky back there and they neverfix it up and they don't care.
Whoever comes is coming.
They're gonna go and do a showand leave.
But the audience is lit.
The audience can't wait for it.
They've been waiting for it andwhen I was there I stayed the
weekend because it was ilangold's son's bar mitzvah, right

(03:46):
and everybody's in your face.
You know it's.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
That's the hardest part of the casco gigs in
general is that you have tospend the whole weekend there,
everyone walking up to you.
Oh, you're gonna talk aboutthis, you're gonna do that.
You should talk about this.
Ilan gold's parents are there,so everyone's coming up to me.
Like you know, ilan gold'sparents live here and I, like
this is great, I don't know whatto say, right, and they're
telling me about when you playedthere last.
They all came up to me and saidwe used to get modi, but we
can't afford him anymore.

(04:09):
So I started the show actuallysaying because they just built
this like new, like two milliondollar pool that nobody knows
what was two million dollarsabout it.
So I said modi won't playanymore but one man's trash is
another man's $2 million pool.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
That's funny.
Yes, they always tell youthey're long-dose parents, so
you've got to add something totheir thing and you know that
they're getting divorced.
They've been together for 89years and they're both like 100.

Speaker 2 (04:42):
So it's not Sid and Maka.
No, oh, he calls her Makabecause that's part of I forgot
her first name, anyway.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
So I did that.
So that was the only.
I never stay.
I come in the day of the show.
I don't stay there and do theshow, but for that weekend I did
.
I davened musaf.
Yeah, so I did the musaf.
Yeah, so I did the musaf prayer.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Like after the bar mitzvah.
They schedule three fightsduring musaf.
Every week Three fights.
Yeah, people get into fightsduring musaf.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
They just start fighting and yelling at each
other.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, I don't know what about.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
I went up there and I was like, okay, it was good,
the bar mitzvah was good,everybody was good, and I was
like I was feeling it, oh, okay,and I also had another coffee
and so my voice is in a goodplace.
So I'm davening and I'm likeI'm feeling it, like, okay, okay
, the Gabbai gets in my face andgoes.

(05:42):
They all walk out at 12.
I don't know what you'replanning on doing here right now
, but at 12 o'clock it'swhatever you're up to.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
It's over, it was like it was 1144.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
He's like you better.
They're going to all walk out.
Make sure you get Kedusha inbefore, because they're going to
all walk out on you and theywalk out, yeah, and then they
have a private homeownersassociation board kiddish in
like that.

Speaker 2 (06:06):
You know the restroom , the restaurant where Tony
Soprano stores the bodies andbehind the shul, you know what
I'm talking about.
Yeah, but the show is great.
That's what I love about it,Like all the making you're like
you complain about it becauseit's a bit and the green room.
But I had to pee in a bottle inthe green room because I was so
nervous.
I literally peed in a bottle.
I peed out the window.
I was about to pee out thewindow with all these cars, with

(06:28):
Hasidim passing by, I peed outthe window in the green room.
Oh Vacation Village.
Oh Vacation Village, becausethey don't have a bathroom.

Speaker 1 (06:35):
There's no bathroom back there, so the we're really
excited.
Where did you stay?
Do you know?
I know them.
I saw you did a cameo.
I was not.
I peed out the window atVacation Village.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
There's no bathroom back there, so I got up in a
chair to pee out the window andthen I was like all these people
are passing by so I peed in abottle.
But it was the greatest showbecause everyone was just so
into it they're living for it.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
It's a show that once you get them, you got them,
they got you.
They know that.
You know that.
They know that.
You know that you know thatthey know that, they know them.
I did an hour, 15.
Hour 15.
Crazy, amazing.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
And I was alive the whole time.
Always Did you have an openingact?
I got lucky because my friendAmi Kozak, who's also a comic,
his parents had a place thereand he was staying there.
So I just said, like pop in, do10.
He did.
Oh, I did not realize how muchopeners changed the whole game
for me.
What do you mean?
I mean, like I used to go to, Istill do, like I'll go to like

(07:35):
a school, hire me and I'll do myhour.
Last this past Saturday night.
I brought an opener.
Like I brought an opener like akid that he's actually he was
the head of, like, the comedyclub at YU and I heard him at an
open mic.
I'm like you're pretty good, Iput him up before me.
It sets the whole room becauseJews need to be told that
they're at a comedy show,hilarious.
So he set the whole room andthe first like usually the first

(07:57):
let's say four to six minuteswhere like they're getting used
to like oh, this is a joke, thatwas already done for me.
So right away from my firstminute on, they're already so
into the show.
It changed the whole show forme.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
So when I don't have an opening act, I begin with
bits that are so over the topaccents and characters and so
much sugar Right that they likethat's.
I'm my own opening act and I'llsay that was your opening act.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Here's the show, literally yeah.
So it's hard for someone whohas my cadence, because I get
there and people are like we'resupposed to go to sleep now,
like this and my voice and I, noyour cadence is slow Very slow
and you don't move and you justpop it out.

Speaker 1 (08:39):
So the funny thing is you went into the summer doing
these shows.
Everybody asked me.
I said he's great online.
I've never seen his act.
I have no idea what he's gonnado on stage.
I have no idea.
But everybody said we had agreat time, we loved you, they
got you, they hopped Dovi.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
Newberger.
So I did Vacation Village, Idid Moonlight, I did Swan Lake,
swan Lake, so Swan Lake, swanLake.
So Swan Lake was differentbecause, like these, these
bungalow colleges are becomingmuch more religious.
It's like a lot of Hasidim SwanLake is the last like they talk
about Hasidim, like they'reMexicans crossing the border,
they're like they're coming inhere.
We can't control them becausethat's like old cat skills, like

(09:19):
Long Islands, much more secular.
Yep, and that was also a reallyfun show.
They have, like the, like thecasino, this tiny little room
with a band yes the same bandthat they booked 50 years ago
hasn't left, just lives theremoonlight's, the one that has
like, um, oh, it's like the goldgold moonlight is literally
just a shul.

(09:40):
They write you a check fromfrom the non-profit yeah, okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay the goal?
Which one is the gold?
Maybe I did that one also itwas one.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
It was like everybody's really really,
really old and I walked in thereto do the show.
This is probably 10 years ago.
I brought leo with me and leocame in shorts.
So you can't come into thecasino with shorts in the
evening.
So there's these two womensitting just like this and
everybody's walking through andone of them just takes the cane

(10:12):
and puts it in front of Leo.
I just look at this and goesyou can't come in here with
shorts.
Who do you belong to, Like?
Who's your grandmother Right?
And he goes I belong to Moody.
He goes, he he's with maury andshe let him in in shorts.
In shorts, he was able to sitthere with shorts.
Yeah, yeah, is anythinghappening there?

Speaker 2 (10:31):
I was just like trying to check it.

Speaker 1 (10:33):
Hello from vienna, from vienna yeah, vienna, we're
coming.
Uh, there's a few tickets left.
Make sure to get them.
Mashiach energy in vienna it'sgoing to be.
I have so much to talk to youabout, so you had a bit during
the summer.
Again, I only watch your clips,right, and so it's you and

(10:53):
Reggie.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, Reggie's great.

Speaker 1 (10:55):
Reggie.
Reggie's getting marriedtomorrow.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
No, yeah, mazel Tov Reggie.
Tomorrow is Thursday, bellHarbor, yeah.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
He's getting married tomorrow.
That's why he was buying acapota.
Yeah, he's so young, he's alittle kid.
But you and Reggie, I watchyour videos and it's two
different videos, you, okay.
So your videos go on and I cantell in your, I think I'm a
reshiva.
Okay, no, but you are like whocan I upset with this video?

(11:23):
Who in the Jewish world can Iupset with this video?
Who in the Jewish world can Iupset with this video?
Is it a girl who's just datingnow?
Is it a parent who's given toyeshiva?
I want to upset someone, getthem going and rile it up, right
.
That's a little bit of yourvideo Of course, because that's
what gets the most traction 100%.

Speaker 2 (11:42):
Jews are victims.
They become like they're upsetwith me.
I'm like they're black, likethe show I did this past
saturday night wouldn't have got.
I made fun of us, uh, sarthat's cool, the sar kids.
They rated my comment section.
The video blew up, got 200 000views right away and they're
like but we also want this guyfor a show.
So they told their parents yougot to bring him in.
And I'm like why would I stopmaking fun of people?

(12:03):
Your, it's working yes, yes.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
So your videos go up and you're like who can I upset?
Get them angry, fighting witheach other online.
Reggie puts up these videos andhe has the energy like this is
the video.
It's going to bring mashiach.
Yeah, this one is going to like.
Everybody's going to unitearound this video about not
having a blanket in yeshiva.
Whatever the video is about, andthat's gonna bring mashiach,

(12:26):
and it probably would havebrought mashiach if I wasn't
pushing I did a video for hismom, for rich's mom had a
birthday and he goes my mom is abigger fan of you than me, yeah
, please make a video for her.
And he showed, and she, heshowed me that she's like
watching it.
She's one of like 13 kids, or14 kids, and he's one of 10.

(12:47):
So I used to have this bit thatI used to do about, because I
once had dinner with this familythat had 17 kids and I'm like
when you have 17 kids, it'sdifferent than when you have two
or three, two or three.
If the kid's out of line, thefather comes in hey, what's
going on?
Can we figure this out?

(13:07):
Do you need a tutor?
Do you want to?
Da-da-da?
Just, hey, I want to work thisway.
If you're one of 17, the dadcomes in hey, what's your name?
Like a tutor, a job?
You're going to get a job.
I have 16 other kids, I don'tneed you.
Like it's a different vibe andshe was loving that video and it
was so good.
One of your videos was aboutthe sleepaway camp, the visiting

(13:32):
day.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
Yeah, the prank, or talking about divorced dads, the
divorced dad was very funny,okay, very, very funny.
So that upset a couple.
Divorced people Most divorcedpeople actually appreciate it.
I got a lot of messages fromlike how do you know my ex?
You literally made a videoabout my ex-husband.
A lot of those.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
Everybody thinks we're talking about them.

Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
They understand that they are just a bigger group of
people.
There's one character you leftout that I love.
It's the chassid.
He grew up as a chassid.
He grew up in one of 84 kids.
He had the pillbox hat.
You know what the pillbox hatis?
Yeah, yeah, he grew up inWilliamsburg or Borough Park,

(14:13):
whatever, and made money andmade money.
Cash advance, cash advancenursing homes.
Nursing homes somethingConsulting Consulting, his
consulting Consulting.
He's consulting.
Yeah, he's consulting and hemade money.
And the wife's like we aregetting out of this, move to the
five towns wherever and thekids go to some camp that he
couldn't have imagined.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Oh, the Tuna.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Bagels kids in the modern Orthodox camps.
So now he's watching his kidsjumping in and out of a pool,
with young girls jumping in andout of the pool, and he can't
believe his kids are so goyish.
He went out of the pool and hecan't believe his kids are so
guyish.
He went to yeshiva.
He went to a day camp wherethey sat and learned for eight
hours of gemara and then theylet him run with a ball for two
minutes.
Yeah, now he's looking at hiskids like who is this guy that

(14:55):
came for me and my wife, I don'tknow.
That was my.
In my head that's the characterI ran.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
So I did.
In one of my videos I spokeabout like the parents on
visiting day that are clearlytoo yeshivish for the camp.
But the Rebbe made a deal withthe kid because we'll ask him to
stop smoking weed, we'll lethim go to the co-ed camp.
I think I did reference one ofthose characters, but you could
spot them on visiting day.
They're like what is this?

(15:22):
And they have the white poloshirt, the white polo shirt,
with the undershirt sticking outunderneath Clothes to the top
like this but you know whatthey're thinking.
They're thinking how is my sonso gaish and how come I couldn't
do this?

Speaker 1 (15:34):
That's what they're really thinking, yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
I wish I could have done this.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
I really wish I could have done this.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
I love the.
There's like always, one icecream store upstate that on
visiting day, nobody canunderstand why they can't
accommodate 5,000 people Becauseit's built for Tawahaki County
in New York.
And they're like, there'salways.
And it's like they open awindow.
They open a window to give yourorder and another window to get
the ice cream out.
Oh my God, this guy always somelike yeshivish dad sticks his

(16:03):
head inside the window, looksaround the kitchen.
What do you got here?
What do you got here?
Like in the window.
One year there was a guy onlineit's like a two-hour line.
Yeah, it's a famous story inlake como, because that's where
all the camps are right.
He didn't want to wait on nine.
He said, like, how much to buythe restaurant?
He bought the pizza store.

(16:23):
You're kidding me.
He's like I don't want to waiton that, I to buy the restaurant
.
He bought the pizza store.
You kidding me.
He's like I don't wanna wait onthat, I'll buy the store.
Bought the whole store.
I think he sold it.
But he said bought the store,guys, kids, pizza.
Oh, shut up.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
It's a true story that's incredible.
With it there's a place byvacation village is a pizza
store that's like packed onmochi Shabbos and the guys there
only for the season.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
There's a bunch now.
Woodburn's crazy now I forgotwhen you went it was probably
less built up.
Woodburn now is like centralavenue really five towns.
There's a doggies, there's amilk restaurants, there's a
little chocolate, there's twopizza stores, ice cream store.
They have the hasidic uhbutcher truck which has this
song wow, flesh, flesh and meat.
Whatever they have shoe stores.
I got harassed in woodburn,crazy I, because you know, I, I

(17:07):
love like being recognized and Ilove you, love it, but I've I.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Over the summer I had some interactions where I was
like, maybe I don't like all ofit, but what well, like woodburn
, let me hear the interactions.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Well, some it's just like, like what do they say to
you?
Like 16 year old yeshivish kidson drugs and wife beaters, like
yo yo, you think you're funny.
You think you're, I don't know,I grew up like kind of in
between two worlds.
But modern kids when they'renot so frum, they're not thuggy,
they just like becomeinvestment bankers that aren't
so religious.
Like yeshivish kids become gangmembers.

(17:39):
And like you think you're funny, I see you online.
You think you're funny.
What do you think you're funny?
And I'm like what?
I'm just trying to get pizza.
I just try to get a pizza rightnow.
It's hysterical.
Create like it was a, like Iwas about to start a brawl at a
pizza store at woodburn.
So funny ours is different.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
I'm okay.
So mine, it's not 16 year olds,it's 60 year olds, right?
They come up to us and theylook me in the face and go
you're modi, you're Modi.
In case I didn't know I wasModi.
And then they turn to Leo andgo and you're his gay husband,
You're his gay husband, and theysay it in a way as if I

(18:13):
wouldn't be gay except for thefact that I married a gay guy.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
Well, I do tell people that you're not gay.
You're just married to a man.
I'm just married to a man, butyou're not really gay.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
No, I'm gay associate , I'm affiliated gay.
They look at Leo and go you'rehis gay husband.
Like I'm not, you're hishusband sufficient.
And then they tell you likewhere we saw you when you did a
cameo for us and all of thatkind of stuff.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
So now they still tell me.
Most people tell me yourparents gave us chasan and kala
classes, because my parents arebig chassan and kala teachers,
or they like, knew mygrandfather from the Bronx 100
years ago.
Okay, chassan, and kala classes.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Okay, oh my God.
Thank you all for watching andthank you, for we're going to be
in Munich.
We're going to thank you.
The Baltimore show was amazing.
The St Paul show was amazing.
I loved everybody there.
I'm just talking to him so Ihave nothing to answer, but I
love all of you.
Thank you for writing in.
Okay, when front people makemoney, yes, and then they build

(19:17):
a house, and just in the fivetowns, Okay.
Can we discuss the decorating?

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, well, it's a broader First of all, when from
people who didn't grow up withmoney, right, make money.
It's very similar to whenrappers who didn't grow up with
money make money.
Okay, they don't know exactlywhere to spend it, so they just
wear it in chains and they'reposses and they're and I think
it's a very similar phenomenon.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
But I'm talking about money.
Money, not like okay, there'sthe people that grew up in in
borough park and flatbush andthey made some money so that
everything's gucci and and fendiand everything, everything.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
The only people in the world that wear ferragamo
slides horrible are nursing homemanagers and cash, because the
only someone who would walk intothe ferragamo store and say,
now I have, have money, I needeverything Ferragamo, like it
makes sense.
Ferragamo belt, ferragamo shoesthat's what people on Wall
Street wear, but I needFerragamo underwear, I need
Ferragamo toothbrush, I needFerragamo slides Everything.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
And that belt's just but like.
So my friend got a place in thefive towns.
He's a Flatbush guy and he justbought a place in the five
towns Just because he just forweekends.
He wants to do Shabbos in thefive towns instead of being in
Flatbush.
Like Northwood man, so I wentto visit my parents.
Let me just start with this.
My parents live in the fivetowns.

(20:37):
They've lived there since 1977,we've had the house In
Northwood by or Torah and when Igrew up there it wasn't Borough
Park it was a real like place.
It was just and it was like anice little young Israel and
that was it on PeninsulaBoulevard and the cheese store

(20:58):
was still the cheese store.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah, and there was a kosher place.
You know I do Jewish comedyshows in the cheese store now
because it's kosher now.
You're kidding.
That's where I do club shows.
It's probably a great show.
Amazing, because it's a tinyroom and I put 115 people in it.
Oh, could you invite me tothose shows Anytime you want to
do it, oh my God, I love thoseshows Anyway.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
so, the Five Town's grave okay, that's the first,
that's the first place my headgoes and and check all the
mezuzahs in the house.
So so, hold on, I'll get to ina minute.
I take my parents to therebbe's grave, which is in the
five towns.
It's it's 12 minute drive tothe Rebbe's grave.
How people don't just go thereall the time is beyond me.
And then I went to thisrestaurant that they go to.

(21:49):
They go to this restaurantcalled X-A-G-A.
I don't even know how topronounce it Xaga, xaga, I don't
even know how to pronounce it.
Okay, it's next to Wall'sBakery, an amazing bakery, not
kosher, but but like kosherwhere is this?

Speaker 2 (22:03):
I don't even know these places in hewlett, oh,
hewlett.
In hewlett it's the last guy isjewish part of the five towns
still emma, and this, and it'sright, by the trader joe's.

Speaker 1 (22:11):
So my parents go, I go.
Where do you want to go, dude?
There's this domosh momo,whatever no, no, no, we don't go
there we go to zaga and it'sthis restaurant that has
everything you could imagine inthe world there's sushi, there's
regular food, there's Italianfood, there's pizza, there's
everything and it looks likeBoca and Fort Lauderdale a

(22:35):
restaurant together neon, andeverybody working in there is
Asian and everybody in there isthe average age deceased.
It's like a nursing home eatingplace and my parents walk in.
They're like they're the owner.
That's where they eat threetimes a week, three times a week
three times a week they'rethere, okay, they have a lunch

(22:55):
with their friends in this andthen they come alone on that and
my mother doesn't want to cookon this, so they go there and
it's sushi.
They get sushi, they get liketuna they get.
They're not eating meat there,but they're so rude to the
people because they're old.
My parents are in their 80s.
Sweetheart, my father does thatthing where he still grabs the
waiter.
The waiter, yeah, my dad's 90.
He grabs the waiter to get theattention.

(23:16):
No, no, no, no problem, totally.
And Leo says to me things likeyou can never do that you
understand, because he knows I'mon that track there's an age
where you're allowed to do it atthat's what I said.

Speaker 2 (23:28):
That's what I said too, but anyway and you're not
me too-ing a 90 year old, no,but I and the Asians are running
around there and they go and mymom's like I need more ginger.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
I need more ginger, I need more that.
I want sweet enough for thegreen tea, you know?
And your parents are Israeli.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'rekidding.
And then afterwards I go to pay.
I go.
Thank you very much, he goes.
We love your parents.
They're so sweet, they're sosweet.
My parents were so abusive tothis lady.
They were like but they knoweverything.

(24:02):
The woman comes, she knowsexactly how my mom wants her
rice and my mom is not lookingfor those fancy kosher
restaurants and sitting in frontof some steak, she's just.
This is exactly where we werewith them in the five towns, but
I went to go visit my friendwho built the house.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
Can we discuss how from rich people decorate their
homes Well, first, when you walkin, there's the part that
because Jewss, they're notallowed to finish the last
square because of yusha live,but then they.
That's the most expensive partof the whole house usually okay,
he put up a mezuzah.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
It was a sefer torah oh, the big ones big, it was
like a little.
You know the rubbish is to sayfor torah tourists, those little
ones.
You had one that was themezuzah for the.
For the front door.
Okay, you walk in, it's like acatering hall, they.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
They leave the three floors open the high ceiling in
the circle in the front yeah,I'm like are you training
parakeets?

Speaker 1 (24:59):
what do you need?
What is this?
What is this?
But the real sign to show youthat it's like a from rich home,
when you walk in, either to theleft or the right, is the
husband's office, and it's rightby the front door.
Why?

Speaker 2 (25:19):
Well, which kind Not where he does work.
So he writes checks toMishalachim.

Speaker 1 (25:23):
That's right, yeah, so whenever somebody comes in to
ask for money, instead ofparading them through the house
and showing them this insanehouse you just built, you bring
them right into the office andthen he can tell you I'm having
a hard year, this isn't a goodyear for me.
I'm the the market.
You know the market and tariffsand tariffs.

(25:44):
I can't the tariffs, I can'ttell you.
But you can't march themthrough the house and show them
all this marble and all of thisstuff and and all these rooms
and everything, and so you haveto have that.
But this, this one had, and onthe other side, a little living
room, adorable little livingroom, and I go what's this for?

(26:05):
It was the Mechatenisters, thepotential Mechatenisters.

Speaker 2 (26:10):
There's one room in every house in the town that
you're not allowed to sit in.
It's just for the Mechatanimwhen they come to talk about
money for the wedding.
That's exactly what it is.
Yeah, that's the only function.
It has.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
I didn't realize that that existed.

Speaker 2 (26:20):
If you have five kids , use it God willing five times.
God willing five times.

Speaker 1 (26:25):
But sometimes it might be ten times If every kid
has somebody that you might begetting married to them, and you
meet them and like no, no,you're not marrying these
parents, you're not marryinginto this family, you do not
want them walking through thehouse too.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
But the flip where you're Michotin from the day
before the wedding I was like,oh my God, Phil and whatever,
Sharon, we love the sweetestpeople to your worst enemies.
The day after the wedding, whenyou have to fight over your
kids for Yontif is crazy.
It's the fastest switch.

Speaker 1 (27:00):
It is, but I think it's also the richer.
The family is the one they getto make the choice, yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, it was the thing you were saying about.
When I started dating, I wasdating like much more than like
the yeshivish like shidduch youstopped dating.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
You're just not getting married anymore.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
No, I'm saying like I don't, like I like whatever.
I used to sit down with theparents.
They would think I would.
Oh, you got to that point.
Yeah, for sure, I was datingpretty from when I started.
When I'm saying when I was 21,22 and so don't walk me through
here.
Yeah, walk me through.
I talk about it a lot in my act.
I don't think I sent this partto you.

Speaker 1 (27:34):
Okay again, I never saw your act, so your parents
arranged somebody for you.
Like, there's a girl.

Speaker 2 (27:42):
Okay, how did you get it to?
I'm the youngest of six.
My parents like we're done.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Oh they're done, yeah , they're done.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
No, they're amazing and supportive.
Like I'm so close to my parentsbut they parents but they're
not like, oh, like my dad.
like my dad cannot name you onegirl I've dated not because he
just if it was ever relevant,like we talk about it and this
and that and like he would bedown to meet anyone, but they're
not helicoptering.
Dating this and that, like I.
I kind of it was eat what youkill for me.
Also, I wanted to start datingyoung, I don't know why when I
was like 20.

(28:09):
So I was doing the back andforth with the matchmaker myself
and you know.
So the.
Basically you get a what'scalled a resume.
I don't know if your audienceknows it, but it's.
It's a piece of paper, all theinformation about the girl and
then it has the address of thegirl at the top.
So you google the house andzillow so you like.
So I used to have a bit aboutthe should have date.

Speaker 1 (28:32):
Yeah, the resume, I forgot it.
It was one of the best bits Ihad.
I used to close with it.
That's how strong it was.
I said the Shidduch date givesyou their like, the age yeah,
she's 21, she was once 21 that'swhat it means.
She was once 21.
I said she was 21 when shewrote the resume.
Yeah, that's when she wrote theresume.

(28:53):
She's not 21 anymore.
No, if she's not 21 anymore.
No, because if she's five three, that means she's five one five
one.
If she's five one, she's amidget, she's 21, the same way
she was once 115 but my biggest,like the oh um and then like
her parents are whatever and thethe end was like when they ask
you for the referrals I like toher friends oh the references,

(29:15):
references.
I would just say I, I want thepharmacist, I want to know what
this girl takes to her friends.
Oh, the references, references.
I would just say I want thepharmacist, I want to know what
this girl takes to not jump offthe building.
That that's.
That was such a the shidduchresume, just like gives it's on
paper when you say she's good onpaper but like when you meet
her she's out of her mind.
So the shidduch resume, that'sthe shidduch and resume.
Is that Okay, go ahead, goahead.
I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
So I actually have a similar bit about the Shidduch
resume that, like nobody, theguys don't read the resume.
We just we Zillow the housebecause we get the address we
want to see, and it used to be.
We do whatever.
I would see what kind of carshe drives.
But now all these poor people,they have Teslas and you get
there and the front door.

(29:56):
You're saying that big, heavyfront door that you need two
people to open it in thesemansions.
So crazy.
Nobody actually uses that door,unless their daughter's going
on a date or it's a schnarr,right, unless you come from the
kitchen.
Yeah, whatever, they have aside door, no one ever uses it,
okay, so anytime you get there,they're trying to figure out.
I don't know how this doorworks.
We only use it for dates andschnarrs and I'm like well, if

(30:17):
I'm out here, I'll be a schnarrto you too, I'll be schnarring
also.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Wait so you get to these houses.
We're popping all over theplace.
Sorry yeah, I'm pop.
I was like blown over.
My friend built this place, hebought you.
Walk in there and it's like acatering hall.
It's massive and it's lit thelighting oh my God, it's so
bright.
Gay men don't have overheadlighting.
We just don't because it's notflattering.

Speaker 2 (30:43):
You have a lamp, a candle.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
I have overhead lighting in my dining area
because we do Pesach in my houseand my mom needs the light to
read the Haggadah, so we put upa thing there, but otherwise
it's dark.
It's like everything's lit sobeautifully.
We have like settings andlevels for different parts of
the evening.
We call it machtnacht.
When you're getting ready to goto bed at six o'clock, the

(31:06):
light's doing this.
At seven we're going that Ateight.
There's this 10, there's half acandle.
There's like a yorkside candleburning in the corner and we're
good.

Speaker 2 (31:18):
I grew up in a house where every light was on until 3
in the morning.
My dad doesn't really sleep,but my mom barely sleeps.
So you come home at 2 in themorning they're just in the
kitchen talking my mom'sscreaming at the.
Alexa put on Israel News.
Alexa, put on Israel.
Like every night, my friend putlighting.
You could do oral surgery inhis house.

(31:40):
Wait, the art, the art, the art, the art.
This lady, she only painted,she's spent.
She lives on top of a hill insvat right she only painted six
paintings in her whole life.
We commission this one for us,right or it's like, but first of
all.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
So when you're in the dining table and you're in the
dining room, there's got to be apicture of yershalim, jerusalem
, yeah.
So they had this painting upand it looked like someone just
put First of all.
So when you're in the diningroom, there's got to be a
picture of Jerusalem.
So they had this painting upand it looked like someone just
put paint on this thing.
And I go to him what is it?
And he goes it's Jerusalem.
I go, show me how that'sJerusalem, Explain to me how
that is Jerusalem.
So there's like this goldslashes in the middle with a

(32:14):
cross of the gold slashes.
And I go that's the Kotel,that's the Western Wall.
He goes, yeah, I go, you hatethis painting.
He goes I'm.
You know that they're not intotheir art because they're like
do you like it?
Do you like it?
We like it.
It's an art.
We were in the gallery and wefigured and it was like so we

(32:35):
got it.
The best is chabad.
If you're in a chabad home,there's a massive picture of the
rabbi in the dining room andthat's it.
That energy is in the diningroom.

Speaker 2 (32:44):
Rabbi period, so the period the what, the fancy
litvish homes.
So I mean not litvish, but what.
What I find hilarious isthey'll have the mural, the
eighty thousand dollar mural.
They'll have the washingstation and the dining room and
then they have a picture of RavShai Lakeras Teer.
This is to keep the mice away.
I'm like you live in an $8million mansion with a heated

(33:05):
driveway.
There's no mice, you don't needRav.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Shai Lakeras Teer.
There are no mice here.
You always need that.
If you put it up, you won'thave it, if you don't, you.
It's all a connection.
Dovi, hold on one second.
I had so much more with me theart Wait.
So I said to him where's thenumber on the house?
He goes it's that and that theydidn't put it up here.
There's no numbers on theirhomes.

(33:31):
So I go what if Hatzala had tocome pick you up?
He goes the guy that justbought the Berkowitz house.
Go to the guy that boughtBerkowitz's house.
That's how they know each other,the guy whose daughter got
married this weekend at Bethel.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
They know by the who did the mortgage.
Right, who did?

Speaker 1 (33:49):
the mortgage.
I know the guy his wife'sbrother-in-law did my what's
that thing?
Title insurance whatever thehell that means, yeah, title
insurance.
Title insurance, my caring homeis right over there, okay away
in display by goyim, by peoplewho aren't Jewish.

(34:10):
And when I say goyim, it's withlove nations, everybody.
That's not Jewish, it's anation.
And you are all invited to myshow, you're all.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
every guy is invited to my show, period just because
you're bringing it up now, Idon't I want to do it.
The guy from the first special,jamie, that really connected
the whole show yeah, plant, washe a plant?
No, no, no, what happened?
No, what happens if he's notthere?
This special is 20% of what itis.
I mean 20% less.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
So you're talking about my comedy special.
Yeah, right before I'm about togo into a bit, sorry, okay.
No, no, I'm just talking about,but we can go there Just
because you brought up Guy M.
Yeah, well, by the way, I sawthat you do okay, never mind the
bit.
I saw that you were doing thesame thing, which is amazing,
you also.
You find the game and explainto them, because that's the joke

(35:02):
.
Thank God you figured that out.
So there's the joke, and thenthere's you explaining the joke,
which everybody got anyway, andthe people who aren't Jewish
got it too.
They got it and there was thelaughter.
And even if they didn't get it,they got your cadence.
The comic just delivered a jokewith a punchline at the end,

(35:25):
and now you turn to them andexplain to them that a mikvah is
a ritual bath and they're dying, and you inaugurate them into
the show.
So much more.
I'm so happy you picked that up, that video, that clip you sent
me.
I'm like, oh, he got it.
He got how to do Jewish comedy,he got it Well when a show's

(35:47):
100% from it's harder.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
I need a couple, like then that video I sent you.
I was opening for Elan so therewas a couple non-Jews there
because it was in Gotham.
So they I love the Jews.
They don't even realize it's aJew night.
They walk in, they're likewe're in the city, we're
tourists, whatever the best.
First of all, they enjoy theshow more than anyone else
because everyone's talking tothem the whole time.
And that was my firstopportunity to say certain jokes
where the what is Tashlech andI have a funny explanation of it

(36:15):
.
But I have no premise to do itwhen everyone in the audience is
100% Orthodox Jews.
But when there's one non-Jewthere I'm like this is going to
be an electric show, because Ihave a premise now to say all my
jokes that are really for theJews.
But it's a way of it's funny towatch a Jew explain something
to a non-Jew.
It's amazing.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
It levels.
It levels it up so much more.
It layers the show.
It layers the show.
You bring them in.
It's so good that you're doingthat.

Speaker 2 (36:41):
I've been doing that forever yeah, I mean when I used
to come to the cellar and watchyou work out stuff.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Yeah, but I didn't do anything Jewish there, it was
just being.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
It was just Jewish vibe, not Jewish material it
wasn't for Jews, but there was alot of jewish like the like.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
One of my favorites was was when you would kick the
back of the wall in the cellarlike check them under here like
where the juice yeah so that's Imean, that's for non-jews, but
it's jewish yeah, and it remindseverybody of the holocaust,
yeah, always wherever you canremind them of the holocaust
with a joke.
You know I talk, I have a bit.
Now that's in the new specialwhere I mention one of the Nazis

(37:17):
.
And then you look in theaudience and you see people like
one of the name brand Nazis,like Goebbels, himmler, one of
those, and you see people in theaudience who's like I don't
know what you're talking about,so you go Google it and the rest
of the audience is dying Dyingbecause they know who Joseph
Mengele is.
And all of a sudden you'retelling a young kid who has no

(37:38):
idea who Joseph Mengele is, youknow, and that was it.

Speaker 2 (37:42):
Sorry, but yeah, I cut you off the cast away.

Speaker 1 (37:46):
No, not the cast away I was just going back to.
I was going back to by the way,this is going to air before
Yontif, before Rosh Hashanah oh,my least favorite.

Speaker 2 (38:01):
I don't do.
I hate high holidays.
Stop Terrible relationship withthem, because I don't really
subscribe to new age Judaism.
Hashem loves you, no matterwhat Judaism.
So I'm just like put me, justlike put me under and like a
light coma from the beginning ofLL till after Yom Kippur.
You're kidding me.
I get so anxious.
Why?
Because I don't know.

(38:23):
I hate the concept of beingjudged.
I'm like an old school I'm only29, but I'm like in the body of
like a 75-year-old, likeMashkiah from Russia.

Speaker 1 (38:32):
Oh, you poor thing, you've been crazed, are you
crazy?
These days are unbelievable.
These are the most amazing days.
No, they're Yom Kippur, awfulYom Kippur.
You know what Yom Kippur is?
It's Satan's day off.
That's how you have to view it.

(38:52):
Don't think of it as the day ofjudgment, the day I have to beg
for forgiveness.
It's Satan.
Satan has one day off andthere's one day that he is
celebrated.
That's Tisha B'Av.
That's his day of reigning.
So both of those days, we dothings like fasting and we fast,
and we don't wear leather shoes, leather soles, so we can

(39:13):
connect to the earth.
This is too much for you.
I can tell already, and so, butthat's so, you know, even if
you don't go to shul, just havea moment where, like this is
Satan's day off, thank you God,and just like.
Connect to God directly,connect to Mashiach energy
directly.
It's Satan's day off, yomKippur.

(39:35):
And I used to do the culinaryservices.
That was the only one I woulddo, because it's in the evening.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
My voice is in.
I've already eaten.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
I'm good.
There's no like, there's no.
9 am shachris, you know, ormusaf, with no food in me, and
the nusach Are you a nusach?

Speaker 2 (39:52):
guy, you're into it.
Wow, am, are you a?

Speaker 1 (39:53):
nusach guy you're into.
Wow, am I a nusach guy?
Wow, I can't even explain toyou how much I love nusach.
When you go Ashkenazi nusach.
I don't know what the safarisare doing, but they're, and
they've been doing it for threemonths.
They're in slichos for threemonths.
I know they've begun theiryontif already for six months
ago.
I love this.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
You know how they?
There's the classic joke thatlike because Svartamar are a lot
of ichamets on Pesach and doall these things, they have to
say extra slichos.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
Ichamets on Pesach.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
Whatever, and they're .
But I watch the.
I don't like slichos.
I watch these Svarty slichos,these supermodels that are like
at the Kotel.
I'm like I would go to this.
They hotel I'm like I would goto this.
They're like svarty slichos isa vibe, it's like they go
straight from the club to theslichos, right?

Speaker 1 (40:41):
I love I don't.
It's not my, not my jam, oh mygod, they're at the.
I watch these videos they hitnotes that no ashkenazi guy can
hit.
No health got.
Could not hit these notes.
I keep going up and up and upand up.
I like a regular slichas, Ilike two slichas.

(41:02):
Slichas is a service that'sright before the high holidays.
It means forgiveness.
And so I like the Ashkenazi oldschool.
You know the old school chazendoes that slichas it's.
You know I do that.
Or Kalbach Yehuda Green.

(41:23):
I love both of those and youonly need one night.
Okay, you don't need to do 12nights.
Wait why?
I can't believe you don'tconnect to the holidays like
that.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
Huh, I just don't like.
I was saying like this when,when I see, when I see, when I
see, when I see, when I see, andeveryone's like dance.
I don't know what they'resaying I'm like I didn't know
this was an option, like in mymind.
Is that old European?
Yeah, like hunched over likeevery sin I did the whole year

(42:00):
and like that's how I I don'tknow, that's what it is, yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
I love the old chazan .
I love the cantors that yelland whisper.
They're either yelling orwhispering.
You have no connection to theservice at all, so I don't have
no connection I go to Niilaevery year.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
My dad dives into Niila.
Since I'm born, oh wow.
So that's very meaningful to me.
Yeah.
When you know the person andyou know, what's on their mind
then it's a different experience.

Speaker 1 (42:36):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
So I go every year.
I can't miss that.
I did one year.
So my dad's the rabbi of theshul.
It's a big shul in New Jersey,it's like 400 families and the
custom for the end services isoften davened by the rabbi of
the shul and he's surrounded bythe president and the vice
president.
I always wanted to dava nilanext to my dad.

(42:58):
I always wanted to be one ofthose people like right next to
him.
So go up there.
So one year, pesach time, theseder, I stole the afikoman,
okay, and the customarily,you're supposed to negotiate
with it.
So my dad said, okay, what?
Okay, what do you want me tobuy you?
I was like I'm 26.
My dad gets me whatever I wantand I said I want you to boot

(43:20):
the vice president.
I want to dive in the othernext year.
But he's like let's shoot arule or whatever, but there's
plenty of room up there.
No, I wanted to be the guyright next to him standing and
so he went to the vice president.
I don't know how to say this toyou, I feel, because it's a

(43:40):
nobody wants to shoot thepresident of the shul.
This is like a feature.
That is like people want it.
They're like this is why Ibecame president, so I don't
want to deal with all thebureaucracy.
I want to dab in Neela next tothe rough.
He said I'll make it up to youhowever I can, but my son
wouldn't give me that if hecalled me back until I promised
he could die with him next time.
That was a very special YomKippur.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Just so people know, nila, it's the closing Linol to
lock.
You're locking the the gates of.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
Whatever?

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Or your fate in the book of life, whatever your
connection to what Nila means tothat moment.
And it's the last prayer andyou stand the whole time and
whoever opens the curtain forthe Torah, it's a big aliyah,
that's a guy who cut a check hecut a check and it's a hard.

(44:32):
It's so funny because it's likean entire nusach that doesn't
exist and it's very similar toyont.
It's like this and now peopleare going to write it that's
from Tfilatal.

(44:53):
That's from Tfilatal?
Yeah, Because Tfilatal and theprayer for rain and the prayer
for dew has that same thing butjust a little bit different.
I forgot that.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
It's so stuck in my head, though, like I'll be in
the shower, I'll belt out anilah, because it's like your
earliest stuff.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
That Like.

Speaker 2 (45:14):
I didn't gasp.
It's all your earliest stuffthat Like, like.
Yeah, that's the music.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
If that's in my apartment, it's Leo walking
around and me just screaming allday long.
I just if some song comes in myhead, some nusr, some piece of,
I am just belting it out.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
Always my older roommates all hated me for that.
There's a, the.
Do you know the singer, naftaliKempa?
Yeah, so he repopularized thebig part of that that like Shari
Shamaim song.
So it's that one that every.
How's it go?
The.
You know the ones everyone'ssinging.
It's such an amazing song.

(46:04):
Amazing song that's from Nila.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Yeah, I know where it's from.
Thank you very much.
I wasn't sure where that wasfrom.
Thank God you're here today.
Not invited back.
It's so good.
By the way, I want to bring upanother.
We did not talk about Mashiachyet, okay, sorry, so that's not

(46:27):
a good thing.
Okay, the way we can tell thatwe are really, really in the
time of Mashiach is the music.
Jewish music is, on anotherlevel, on fire.
It's on fire.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
People are like, wow, I was with Mordechai Shapiro
the other night.
No, I think he's.
I think he like kind of broughtit Jewish music to what it is
today, because he was the firstlike real pop star celebrity.
Really he could hold a crowdand like he could.
He could hold a crowd and likehe could was a really one that
like could.
Bruno Mars a concert with justlike Jewish songs and I.
He has an album with FreilichOrchestra.

(47:01):
One of the like Tune of Body.
Orchestra yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's they put out like theirbest wedding hits.
Yes, when I run, when I jog,that's all I listen to, I listen
, I pretend I'm at my wedding.
I don't know what I'm going tolisten to after my wedding and I
go through my whole first andsecond dancing.
First I'm going to dance to mydad that's this song, then my
shver, whoever he is, and thenthat's what I'm listening to and

(47:22):
it's so good.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
So, by the way, anybody listening to this, if
you're on a treadmill, bored outof your mind, you go into the
Jewish music Shalemi Daskal.
Yes, shalemi, dance with me,daskal.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
Yes Shall, we dance with Daskal.
Oh my.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
God, I could do an hour and a half on that music.
There's one called Beats,b-e-a-t-s.
It's like a black and red.
I forgot the name of the artistand I feel horrible because I
know the guy, he's a good one.
I have ADHD, so my braindoesn't get the names.
It doesn't come together.

(47:55):
Beats it's called Beats,it'sassidic music, and he bam,
bam, bam, bam bam.
And you just go and you're onthe train.
I'm singing in full volume atequinox and I see leo working
and goes like like that's jewishmusic is on another level and
then another, and the dovinewberger of jewish music is a
guy who's been on the podcastmeditorski meditorski I
wasversky.
I was with him yesterday.

Speaker 2 (48:15):
We just shot a video together.
You did, yeah, meshich.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
Energy.
I look at that you and MendyTversky are doing a video
together.
Meshich's coming tomorrow.
He's here, Wait, wait wait whatwas the video.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
He's so talented, he's so young.
I don't know Yiddish, yeah, sohe's trying to teach me these
raps in Yiddish and I say themand I'm like this is a different
level.
He's so talented.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
So talented, I'm telling you you're a Kali,
you're a vessel for a gift.
God put this gift in.
Mendy Torski Happens to me.
The kid looks great.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
Yeah, he has the payas on has payas with no payas
.
He has big payas with with nolike, with no no sideburns.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
So it's on the fade.
Yeah, it's on the fade.
He puts the payas and the musicis insane.
Yeah, and he did a concert inuh in Jerusalem.
I was.
I was plugging people go seehim.
He's great on another level tooand everyone listens to him.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
There, he was telling me, because it's hard, it's
challenging for him, he has to.
He has a lot of rules.
Like I don't really have anyrules to play by.
Like people come to my show,they don't.
There's like a vod in Israelwho decides whose music gets
played and who doesn't.
And you have to.
You have to play by their rules.
You can't sing about certainthings you can't like.
So he's a four Haredi.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
He's a four Haredi.
He knows his audience, amen, heknows his audience and he nails
it.
And people who aren't like, Iturned my agent onto him and
he's not Jewish.
It's just a great beat, right,and the song has a really good
meaning too.
He's constantly working andhe's got this whole crew and

(49:57):
team with him and, um, rickyrose so he told me about ricky.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
I don't know her so much.
Ricky rose is just, she's likethe schwesters.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
She's.
She's like the schwesters, butshe's again.
It's a.
It's a gift that got put into avessel.
Here's ricky rose.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
Here's a gift that god gave you.
Every time you say that makesme think of, like you know,
those gveers sorry, uh wealthy,that you ask them what they do
and they say I don't do.
I'm just a kli to be makabal,the chef of the Ribbon of Moshul
.
I'm just a vessel to receive,and I'm like I'm a vessel too.
Where's my chef, yeah, yeah,yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
It's when you're sitting with a billionaire and
you ask him so what do you do?
And they go.
What do you do for a living?
He goes.
I'm more worried about givingaway my money rather than making
money.

Speaker 2 (50:39):
I'm right here, I'm like.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
I can relieve all that worry for you.
I can take all that worry awayfrom you.
Speaking of vessel, of a giftof God, we went to go see the
Gaga show.
Okay, yeah, we were justtalking about this before.
I'm going to talk about thatwith Leo, because we have to at
one point yo next level.

Speaker 2 (51:01):
I've never been to any of these.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
You understand something.
So this is where how my head.
We had amazing seats, LiveNation gave us two free tickets
and let us buy a whole bunch oftickets, so we brought all of
Leo's sisters in from whereverthey were and you're doing the
jackie mason cash winning ahundred dollars a ticket.
50 000 seats no, I was doing adifferent cashman, I was doing a
different.
Okay.
So look I, my husband is.

(51:25):
There's a theater of 500, 800,1200, 2000.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
That's like what my head works, the garden's 15 000
seats, 20000, 20, oh cuz theytake out.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
So I'm sitting there and I'm looking at a section and
before the show and I'mcounting the rows and over I go,
that's so.
That's, that's a 500 seattheater.
That's in that plus that is 800seats, and then there's an
entire arena still left, likeI'm doing that in monaco, I'm

(52:00):
doing that in san francisco, I'mdoing that that little area
right and she's doing this 20and she sold out four nights and
she's adding more shows andit's wow, it blows your mind
away.
It blow.
And and so we I posted themayhem concert is Moshiach
Energy and of course, anybodythat was there was like 100%, it

(52:21):
was total Moshiach Energy andlike three people and those are
the three that got right underLeo's skin Like how can you say
it's Moshiach Energy?
It's Kal Isha and it's thewoman's voice and it's not
Jewish music and you've neverbeen to a Jewish concert.
Are jewish music and you'venever been to a jewish concert,
and are you insane?
20 000 people in the sameharmony and vibe and therefore

(52:42):
the celebrating this gift of god.

Speaker 2 (52:44):
It doesn't get more mashiach energy than that this
was the night after tate mcraeat the garden.
That that's where everyone likeunder 19 was, and then they.
It was gaga was the next night.
I think yeah, yeah yeah thatthose I get those dms where,
like, where people totally misswhat I'm saying.
Yes, I just posted a Stitchlike a reaction video.
This Asian lady was in one ofthese Jews for Jesus church and

(53:08):
she was singing Haftorah.
She says the bracha and it cutsto me.
She says the bracha and shegoes Amen and it cuts to me and
I'm like you're really notsupposed to answer Amen to your
own bracha, which is like aninside baseball orthodox joke.
And it's hilarious because,like for the people I'm talking
to also, women don't read fromthe Torah, like it was, but
everyone like started texting meas if, like I didn't.

(53:29):
You're like, technicallythere's a lot more halachic
problems with that.

Speaker 1 (53:33):
If I ever want interaction, I just I.
When I quote something from theBible, even if from the Torah,
even if I know where it's from,I'll see a different place where
it's from, and they just allstart sending me it's
Deuteronomy 13.5 and it'sda-da-da-da, and they're just oh
, they can't wait, yeah so youwent to Gaga.

(53:54):
Just keep rolling but thank thesponsors.
Oh okay, oh okay, leo, are wejust doing two podcasts here?
We just sing, leo.
Are we just doing two hours?

Speaker 2 (54:07):
Just keep going, okay okay, okay, do you want to?

Speaker 1 (54:14):
The reason we can hang here Not the reason we can
hang here, but one of thereasons that we hang here and
there's Mashiach energy involvedin us chilling together is, in
part, thanks to.
That was a horrible entrance,god, that was awful.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
We just want to thank Whites in Luxembourg because we
spoke about Vacation Village,where they keep all the asbestos
behind the stage and that keepsall that asbestos behind the
stage and that keeps all thatasbestos keeps whites and
luxembourg in business and helpsus sponsor the podcast here.
So if you do have asbestos,either bring it to vacation

(54:47):
village, but call whites andluxembourg because they could
probably get you a check okay, aand h provisions and a and h
provisions you&H yeah of courseA&H provisions.
If you ever go to a baseballgame and you hear all the Jews,
you should eat the kosher hotdogs.
They're a lot cleaner.
I don't know if that's true.
I never tried a non-kosher hotdog, but everyone likes kosher

(55:09):
hot dogs.
A&h provisions.
Kosherdogsnet Use code 30% yourfirst order.
Use code Modi For 30% off yourfirst order.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
30% off your first order and if you want, to go on
a tour of the factory, Seth willtake you.
He's so proud of this factory.

Speaker 2 (55:23):
A tour of the hot dogs.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
He said to me You'll never eat another hot dog.
He says to me, you know?
He said when he became oursponsor.
He says come see the factoryand see how amazing it is.
I go, I promise you.
That is the deal breaker.
I am not going to a kosher, butpeople go and the merch is good
.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
The deal with me eating a hot dog is that nobody
tells.
I hate the guys that when I'mabout to eat a hot dog, I like
with the mustard underneath thesauerkraut, and then there's
always one vegan girl like doyou know, it's just all the
extra fat and garbage from therest of the animal.
They just put it in the hot dog.
I'm like that's what makes itdelicious.
Don't tell me.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
So you're moving that moment you go, nobody likes you
.
That's how you enter that andlet them simmer on that.
Let them simmer on that andwe're just going to pop through
here.
Thank you for that Great plugwith Bites and Likes, of course.
He's so funny.
Lush and Hara.
I love Lush and Hara.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
You know that's my thing, I know you do I put out
that video right before TishaB'Av?
That people didn't.
I, my favorite part, people.
When Tisha B'Av's over, theylike we can eat now.
We can shower now.
Nine days we're not allowed tohave.
I grew up with a real nine daysno hot showers, still cold
showers.
My parents, if there was nolike you, would only wear dirty

(56:40):
clothing.
They would tell us in camp takeyour shirt and throw it on the
floor.
I would stomp on my shirtbefore I promise.

Speaker 1 (56:48):
This is how I this is why my whole life that was your
thing, so your parents' thingwas the nine days.

Speaker 2 (56:54):
Oh, it was everything .
Oh, we were speaking about bighouses before.
I had to mention this before Imove on.
Anytime when I would walk withmy mom in growing up we'd pass a
mansion.
There was one house in Teaneckwith mansions called Winthrop
whatever it's like the backLawrence of Teaneck.
Anytime we'd pass a house, Iwould be like wow, and my mom
would look at it and go I feelbad for this.

(57:14):
Can you imagine cleaning thisfor Pesach?
I never hunt these people.
And.
I would say, I promise you,whoever owns that house has
never cleaned for Pesach intheir life.

Speaker 1 (57:22):
For sure.
No, but that was a joke I had.
When you watch Qaysh's showslike the Crown yeah, you see the
establishing shot of the palace, Like who's cleaning this?

Speaker 2 (57:40):
How palace like who's cleaning this?

Speaker 1 (57:41):
how do you heat?
That's my mom.
How do you heat this?
Yeah, how do you heat?
That's what I was thinkingabout, because I was watching us
now wait, so can we just goback?
Okay, we're going back um thehouse in in the five towns.
So my, my, my friend built thishouse and it's and I he's like
he, his, his grandparents weresurvivors and he grew up with
them speaking to them in yiddish, so that's like that's in the
go back fake passports.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
Cash for the next holocaust.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
He's giving me a tour of the house and he has a
basement which is rare in thefive towns.
People don't usually havebasements because of flood zones
, whatever the hell, I don'tknow the reason it's just after
Sandy.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
They get money.
The government will give you acertain amount of money for your
house if you don't build abasement.
So they build in a legalbasement and everyone has a shul
in the basement of their housein cement.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
But it's not a basement, it's not finished.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
But, there's an Aran Kodesh and chairs.
I'm telling you go down,there's an Aran Kodesh there.

Speaker 1 (58:29):
But he just did rooms .
He has in his basement 46 rooms, full rooms, not like a joke,
like wallpaper rugs, likebuilt-in beds with the lights
and everything with the built-in.
I mean I said to him Are youopening a yeshiva?
What do you have all theserooms for?

(58:50):
He has no idea.
We go to the next level andbehind the whatever it was rooms
, just endless rooms, right Forwhen their kids get married,
they can have them all in thesame roof.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
Seder night.
The whole house is for when mygrandkids get married.
I want all my great grandkidsunder one roof for one night.
Yeah, if that was happening.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
I would leave that, I'd put them all in there and
then I'd go somewhere else.
I'd go to a Pesach program.
Everybody come to our house andwe're going to a Pesach program
.
There's one really funny place,so they built the house, and
upstairs is the master bedroom.
But before you walk in themaster bedroom there's like a
little porch.
It's in the house.
There's like a little porchwith like a little banister and

(59:33):
I call it the Bible shill, thewomen's synagogue.
That's what it looks likeBecause all of a sudden you have
a banister overlooking theentire house.
It's like the women who arelike he's too fat for her.

Speaker 2 (59:46):
But that's when he makes a vart, when he's starting
an engagement party for hisdaughter.
That's what happens.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
The men are downstairs and the women just go
upstairs.
Yeah wait, he built the pool.
So, by the way, leo and Ibought a house last year.
So I've never owned a house,you know how insane a house is
the headache.
No, it's a.
It's a bracha.
What's wrong with you?
It's a bracha to have a home.
Maintaining it is you.
You need to give it likewhere's your house in
connecticut?
okay, but yep, he built the pool, so I have a pool now.

(01:00:18):
And to maintain a pool, it's athing.
Hey, we have to shock the water, we have to the guy comes in.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
We're gonna get a little urinal cubes every day,
or?

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
something.
No, it's like a little.
Anyway, yo, he has an acre.
I think he bought the backyardof the neighbor behind him to
build this pool.
The pool looks like any one ofthose dating shows with the
Bachelorette or whatever, andit's light and he's got the
lights on this phone making thisthing go up and down and you
can literally like call aliensfrom the lighting from this pool

(01:00:50):
.
Yeah, Is it a?
waterfall.
No, it has like the within it.
He has the.
So the pool itself?
Yeah, so the pool itself is 120degrees and then the hot tub is
190 degrees no no, he's notgoing into a cold pool.
He's not going into, and youknow how much it costs to heat a
pool off.

(01:01:13):
It's heated 360, never off.
And so I walk in the back andhis daughters are there.
So I go oh, your daughters arethere, we shouldn't go back
there.
The daughters are in full longsleeve, long dress in the pool,
like it was shrimp glide, swimglider.
Swim glide, swim glider.
You don't know yiddish, huh?
I?
Don't know, is that on?
Your resume.

Speaker 2 (01:01:27):
Does not know, yiddish is that on the resume he
does not know conversationalyiddish like hasidic yiddish is
like what yiddish is.
And then there's like, like Igrew up in a family like where
yiddish was like learningyiddish.
It was like very litvishyiddish like yiddish.
Like my brothers all went toyeshiva where they heard shir in
yiddish, like so it's notyiddish that makes sense to

(01:01:48):
anyone who's speaking yiddish onthe street right now.
The best, the best way to learnyiddish that makes sense to
anyone who's speaking Yiddish onthe street Right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
No, the best way to learn Yiddish, sit with a Chabad
guy and the Rebbe's Sikhas theRebbe's, it's the best Yiddish.
How do you?
learn Yiddish.
That's how you learn Yiddish.
We had it in the house with thegrandparents and then I went to
BU and out of nowhere my gradeswere horrible.
I was the worst student and itwas a miracle I got into BU.

(01:02:13):
It's much harder to get inthere now, but they had a
Yiddish class.
I took that nonstop and ithelped my grades Because I had,
like you know, and the teacherloved me and I learned grammar
and stuff like that.
But then you learn the RebbeSikhas and that's the best way
to learn Yiddish.
But hold on.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
Okay, what else do we that I have?
Oh, you were saying somethingabout the royal family.
Oh, we were talking about thatbefore.
The royal family is a veryJewish thing.
Aren't they.
Because every, every Jewish momacts like Kate Midd, her
from-daughter-in-law, and MeghanMarkle is like the shiksa that
married in Like fuck.
I have this fight with my momall the time because guys like

(01:02:56):
Meghan Markle more, because,like she's, hot, she's hot,
she's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
A little, yeah, crazy .
I think Kate Middleton's muchhotter.
She's prettier.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
She's not hotter, she's so elegant and so like
she's regal, that's.

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
We were at a dinner one night and someone just
yelled that if you had to be awoman, what woman would it be?
Kate Middleton, it was alsobefore she had cancer.
Oh, kate Middleton, that's it.
You're married to the king, yougave birth to a king.
It's no joke, b'chol.
Just so you should know mywhole take on the royal family.
This is my, your zug, my zug onthe royal family.

(01:03:33):
This is my, your zug, my zug onthe royal family.
Okay, god created the royalfamily from beginning King Henry
, the took us to the King Henrythe 5th to the 9th, to the 12th,
and this one.
Charles and Moish, and this andthat, and for one reason, one
reason only, for the show theCrown, the show.
There's a show on Netflixcalled the Crown.
Which is their entire liveslives.
I don't know how many seasonsit is.

(01:03:53):
I've watched it and re-watchedfive times.
It's the best show in the world.
It's reality or it's it's.
It's their whole lives.
It's shot so beautiful.
God gave us the royal familyjust so that Netflix could do
the Crown.
That's my whole zog on that.
I'll be putting that out there.
Have you seen the Crown?

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
Never.

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
Wow, wow, you never saw Goyim.
It's Goyim on another level,it's real Goyim.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
It's real Goyim.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
We used to call him.

Speaker 2 (01:04:21):
We used to say Goyder , right Goyder.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
What Did we ever discuss?
Goyim, on different levels ofGoyim.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
And the Gomorora I was going to write about.
I was going to write no, wenever discussed it, but there,
but there is like there's 100,not all, there's not all going
long there's ones that washtheir car on saturday.
That's like a real.
That's the, the top level.
I mean there's the royal family.
Then I'm trying to think oflike what I.

Speaker 1 (01:04:48):
So this is.
I know where this is going togo, but this is like one time I
I was going to write a gemaraabout goyim and it's like not
all goyim are the same level ofgoishkeit, you understand.
So there's ones that grew up ina Jewish neighborhood.
They know holidays, they knowwhat this, they know they can't
turn the lights on, and thenthere's so the gemara was going

(01:05:10):
to start Achri hoidu Oy MedimEitz.
Achrei Hoidu Oy Medim Eitz.
After Hoidu Thanksgiving OyMedim Eitz, if you're selling
Christmas trees afterThanksgiving, you're another
level.
You're like this is a Goy.
Achrei Hoidu Oy Medim Eitz,you're selling Christmas trees.
Now why is it Achrei Hoiduafter Hoidu after Thanksgiving?

(01:05:32):
Because it's a.
Now, if he was a little moreJewish he's Lifnei Hoidu he
would start selling beforeThanksgiving, exactly it didn't
go anywhere Because a guyselling.
Do you ever see the guy thatsells the Christmas trees?

Speaker 2 (01:05:47):
Only in football commercials.

Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
You never walked in the street and saw a guy sell?

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
Oh yeah, in the city, here I see them yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:54):
So you understand that they come from Maine and if
they're 24 hours betweenChristmas and Thanksgiving,
they're standing out therefreezing, with no showers and a
porta potty selling a tree.
How much should you be making?
What's the profit on this tree?
And they wrap it it making on.
What's the profit on this tree?

Speaker 2 (01:06:14):
and they wrap it.
It's the craziest thing in theworld.
The christmas tree, yeah, butyeah, I mean I, when I was in
israel for there, I missed, Imissed that but you live in new
york city, you've seen themselling yeah on the corners I
have, I thought those were.
I thought that was like rannystreet.
I thought it was the same guysin like chinatown that sell like
like fake bags.

Speaker 1 (01:06:28):
No christmas trees you wow, it's the most craziest
thing in the world that thisguy's selling trees outside
there.
It's like a bunch of them.
They're all dressed in like plaand no one's wearing a heavy
coat.
They're like this so the buttondown with a t-shirt underneath
and a jersey it's like a.
It's like the Lulav Shuk to meyeah, but that's one day, this

(01:06:48):
is a whole month of it.
I don't know.
We're kind of like getting to.
Oh, so my father, I told you,banged his foot.
So right away, go to the Rebbeand change all the mezuzahs, not
change, check the mezuzahs.
And there was a guy and I'mlike, oh God, I'm going to my

(01:07:11):
parents' house now, I take allthe mezuzahs out and bring it to
a site for me to bring it back.
And my friend, god, just I hada phone call with a friend who
had all the mezuzahs checked bya guy that comes to the house,
moshe Lieberman, I don't know,it was from God.
I called the guy up, went tothe house, set him, set shop up
in my mom's kitchen or diningroom and checked all the

(01:07:34):
mezuzahs from 6 pm to 11 30.
Okay, there's a, there's a two,two orthodox guys sitting in my
mother's house with they havex-ray machines and they have all
kinds of it's.
Just, it's an insane thing thatit's so amazing.
No, check your mezuzahs.
If we can take it away fromthis check your mizzuzah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
It's a thing I went I the one time I checked my it's
filling in my life, my, myfather just got back from israel
.
Yeah, he had he's we're notreally big like mccobble people,
but he but someone had takenhim to mccobble and he was like
giving them, he was giving thema couple, all the names of, like
his kids.
Yeah, and uh, he said somethingI was going through at the time

(01:08:15):
.
I think he like something to dowith like yeshiva das, which
just means like, uh, I have likea lot, like I'm an anxious
person, so he's like, you know,he would love like he would love
to just feel more settled.
So mccouple told him to.
Uh, mccouple is the guy that'ssorry.

Speaker 1 (01:08:28):
A cabalist.
A cabalist, somebody who who'swell-versed in the mystical
teachings of the religion.

Speaker 2 (01:08:34):
So the Makubal said to you so he said to tell Dovi
to get his tefillin checked.
Yes, so my tefillin came back.
Fine, the sofa.
I gave the bag to Tefillin.
He said his tefillin are fine.
The problem is you're notsupposed to keep anything in the
bag with the tefillin.
No, but if I don't want to losesomething, I put it with my

(01:08:55):
tefillin.
If I have something I cannotlose.
What kind of crap did you havein there?
I have one thing there.
I had a card with my Dorya Sharmnumber on it.
Do you know what Dorya Sharm is?
Dorya Sharm is the Hasidicorganization that when you start
dating they test your blood forwhat carriers.
But if you lose that card, theycan you have to go back and get

(01:09:16):
retail.
You can never get it back.
It's an old system.
You call a number, they alsolike it's a Hasidic system.
They don't want you, they don'ttell you what you're a carrier
for, anything.
You have to call an anonymoushotline and with your number and
the girl's number, and oftenyou do it before you even go out
and give them and they tell youif you're a match or not.
But they give you this cardwith your number on it and they

(01:09:36):
say if you lose this, you'redone.
So that was what was in myfilling bag, wow.
So I took it out and now I lostit.
I don't have it.
You're kidding, I don't knowit's so funny.

Speaker 1 (01:09:49):
I have a gift I got from Robbie Gamal Balhanes in
there.
I'm going to put it somewhereelse.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
It's so funny Because that's the thing you never lose
.
So, if you like, that's where Iwould keep.

Speaker 1 (01:10:01):
My friend had a mezuzah upside down.
She couldn't have kids.
The mezuzah was kosher, but itwas upside down and then she
turned it down.

Speaker 2 (01:10:07):
And after she had, did you have?

Speaker 1 (01:10:08):
kids after Four more kids.
Wow, yeah crazy.
But a mezuzah and a lotteryticket are like almost the same.

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
Why you saw my joke about the mezuzah.
I sent you no With my dad andwhatever.

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
Oh yes, I am surprised you went there.
Let's go back to that in aminute.
But I was very shocked that youused that certain substance in
your joke.
I was like, wow, this kid hasmuch more balls than me, much
more balls than me.
Wait, we'll get there in aminute.
A mezuzah okay, the mezuzah isthe cloth inside on the door,
the holiest part of the OldTestament.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
The holiest part of the Old Testament and it's hero,
israel.

Speaker 1 (01:10:48):
The Lord, our God, the Lord is one.
You're saying that God isoneness and that oneness is
going to protect your home.
And you check it and bychecking it says I understand
that there's a higher power.
And this is my saying.
I'm going to go check this nowjust to make sure that I to show
my connection to it.
So there was a whole thing nowwith the big mega dollar thing,

(01:11:09):
mega bucks.
I don't know the big lotterythat was just drawn.
It was 1.7 billion.
Okay, people only buy ones at1.7 billion dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:11:18):
Every time Right right right, there's some guy at
the Shabbos table.
You know, after taxes it's notthat much.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
Very true.
But when you buy a lotteryticket, you just don't don't be
like I'm buying, I'm gonna.
You buy a lottery ticket,you're saying to God, I'm open
to receive, I'm in it, I'm in it.
I buy lottery tickets.
Every time that happens and Ithrow it in the drawer and then
like if they all of a sudden say, hey, the winning lottery
ticket was purchased in Soho,I'm gonna go look at my ticket.

(01:11:47):
But otherwise I keep them thereand then once in a while I grab
the whole packet and bring itto get to check them and I
usually win $20 or $30 or $2 or$1.
And it's fun.
But it also just says to Godlike I'm open to it.
You know, there's a joke, a bigold joke, with the rabbi that
asks to win the lottery.

(01:12:07):
No, which one?
There's a rabbi begging God towin the lottery.
Please let me win the lottery.
I'll rebuild the synagogue,I'll give money to the orphans
and I'll feed all the familiesand Shabbos will be free for
everybody.
And he doesn't win.
Next week again, begs and Beto,let me win this lottery.
I need the money.
I'll just do chesed and lovefor everything, nothing.

(01:12:30):
Third week again, and by thethird week I can't believe I
didn't win.
And God turns to me and goeshelp me out, buy a ticket.
It's one of the oldest jokes,but it's a winning lottery
ticket.

Speaker 2 (01:12:44):
Yeah, the mezuzah thing, that joke, the way I said
it, I'm never able to say itthat way.
Set them up, let them know whatyou're talking about.
But I have this joke where I'm.
The concept is explaining likethe fights you get when with
your parents as you get older.
And it's about my dad coming totell me that my mizuza is not
is.
It's too low, it should reallybe higher.

(01:13:05):
And I say, okay, but the mizuzais full of cocaine.
And when I said it there becausethere was an andrew there, I
was able to give the prelude toit where I said let me explain
to him.
It was this there's a we takethe holiest part of the old
testament and we we take a deadgoat skin and we write it on and
we wrap it up and then we putit on the door and it provides
protection in the whole jewishhouse.

(01:13:26):
And then I turned to the guywhen I go.
It doesn't always work.
I'm sure you've been watchingthe news Hilarious, but I never
get to say that that way, unlessthere's a non-Jew there, a
non-Jew in the room right,because you can also take to the
Jews.

Speaker 1 (01:13:38):
It obviously doesn't work, as we've seen, but usually
people say because you know, ifyou have a clear mezuzah it
looks like a joint.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:13:53):
That's how I thought of the joke.

Speaker 2 (01:13:54):
Right, and I I would say that, but you to use the
word cocaine, yeah is a verystrong word I found strong it's
like boom, you know, like peoplealways say and I've even spoken
to you about it like there's noreason to curse, you don't need
to be dirty, and like of course, there are comedians that are
successful without it.
The joke I sent you, likethere's a joke in there where I
say, where the punchline is havesex with, I think and it gets a

(01:14:14):
mega laugh when I say it likethat I've done it and from our
audience I say sleep with orhook up with, it's just not the
same but it has really it justpunches a different way right,
so so certain words that peoplelike in their brains, they react
to, and that's hilarious right.

Speaker 1 (01:14:30):
So it's much funnier than I.
I have a joke about theneighbor upstairs and I go.
I've been banging him for threeweeks.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
I've tried everything else yeah, and that was the
best.

Speaker 1 (01:14:39):
The f word is too shocking and dirty for them.
The sleeping with him is notstrong enough.
Banging is very good, it's themiddle ground it's the middle
ground.

Speaker 2 (01:14:48):
So when I saw I was wondering if, when you said when
you would do it in the cellarlike you were practicing that
one, would you say banging, ordid it hit better with effing?

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
it hits better with banging because, especially the
cellar, they're like whywouldn't he just say effing?
Because they're like thinkingin their own, they're in their
own heads.
But those shows that you weretalking about, the one like I
want to do first of all, I can'tdo any shows in New York City
until Radio City Music Hall.
Oh, Broadway.

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
That will be my first .

Speaker 1 (01:15:17):
Broadway show.
Okay, the fact that you callthat a Broadway show is so, it's
so unwell.
It really shows you call.
Radio City a Broadway show Okay, so let me teach you here.

Speaker 2 (01:15:32):
That's what I say.
Alex Adelman was on Broadway A.

Speaker 1 (01:15:34):
Broadway show is any theater over 500 seats.
It's called a Broadway show.
If it's smaller, it's anoff-Broadway show.
If it's even smaller than that,it's an off-off-Broadway show.
Radio City Music Hall is anarena.
It's 6,500 people On Broadway.
It's 6,500 people On Broadway.

(01:15:55):
It's not on Broadway.
It's on 6th and between 5th and6th the Broadway district is
over.

Speaker 2 (01:16:01):
Over a bit more.
Yeah, so it has nothing to dowith Broadway.
It has nothing to do withBroadway.

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
Oh my bad.
Yeah, it's an arena.

Speaker 2 (01:16:07):
It's where people go for one night or two nights or
in December I went there once towatch the Knicks watch party.

Speaker 1 (01:16:13):
Where.

Speaker 2 (01:16:13):
In Radio City.

Speaker 1 (01:16:16):
No, you went to Madison Square.

Speaker 2 (01:16:17):
Garden.
No, no, no, the Knicks whenthey had away games during the
playoffs.
All the Knicks fans inManhattan come to Radio City and
watch it on the break screentogether For real.
Yeah, it's like for Also duringhome games.
It's like for also during homegames.
It's for like.
It's like for poor people thatcan't afford real tickets.
Want to feel like, want toconnect to something.
Oh, yeah, I can't even imagine.
And you?
know the CMHS.
They have the main one, andthen you're in a different room

(01:16:39):
watching the live stream.
Right, that's what that is.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
I got you Okay, so you've been there.
It's an insane venue of acheese store.
Call me 100%.
I would love to do that BecauseI can't do, like the Town Hall
or Beacon, any of that stuff.
Until then, let's startwrapping this up.

(01:17:01):
This was we went super longright 1.30 to okay, maybe we'll
do two things.
We're going to thank oursponsors again Weitz and
Luxembourg.
The law firm not only does well, they do good, super
philanthropic, and they'refriends and family of this
podcast.
Weitzluxcom A&H Provisions.

(01:17:24):
We love you, seth, and thefood's amazing.
The packages delivered topeople as a gift, like a
mid-year shulch, manas.
It's so beautiful how they sendit with the packaging and he
puts a hat in there and a shirtand the food's unbelievably
delicious.
Kosherdogsnet.
Maybe we'll split this up intotwo.
Part one.
Part two Dovi and Modi.
What are you plugging?
What's going on?
I'm plugging have you opened anynew comedy clubs?

Speaker 2 (01:17:47):
I've seen you.
That one was a little bit of adisaster.
What happened?
I don't know.
I don't know what's going onwith it.
There's a little machlakesh atthe top, so I need to figure
that out.
So, behemoth, let me tell yousomething.

Speaker 1 (01:18:00):
Comedians who aren't that funny end up having to
promote and do shows.
Yeah.
In order for them to have ashow, they need to make a show.
Right a show.
They need to make a show rightor when you're starting out
though.

Speaker 2 (01:18:14):
Okay, but you're already, you're gonna get booked
on shows you're already a sham.

Speaker 1 (01:18:17):
Yeah, you got it, so focus, I yeah, not being a a
comedy club owner oh yeah, it's,but yeah, that's the worst part
it's, it's horrible, yeah,horrible.

Speaker 2 (01:18:28):
It's a hard frame of mind when you're like going,
when I'm going into a show thatI produced, I'm hosting, and I'm
worrying about folding chairs.
I'm like I'm trying to get myset right, like do I say the
joke about my mom before thecocaine, after the cocaine, and
someone comes in, you want thewhite chairs or the black chairs
?
It's very hard, oh my God.
But so I'm going.
I'm doing two, the alga minorjournal, two college campus

(01:18:49):
shows, boston and philly algaminor journal and which is a
yiddish newspaper, yeah, sothey're.
They're trying to get to thenext generation.
So we're doing college campusshows but they're a very
religious paper.

Speaker 3 (01:18:58):
No, the alga minor is the there's, the there's the
forward, and there's the algaminor.

Speaker 1 (01:19:03):
I'll go minor.

Speaker 2 (01:19:03):
I think that there it is the rebbe was into it, but
it wasn't a religiousorganization I got you okay.

Speaker 1 (01:19:08):
So, thegamino, you're doing a show for them.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
We're hopefully doing a tour.
So we're doing.
Tickets are live for that.
That's really for college andgrad kids.
That's in Philly and Boston.
I'm in LA in December for EULAComedy Night.
Come hear me there.
I'm in Chicago.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
Where can they see all these shows?
Where can they get tickets?

Speaker 2 (01:19:32):
for this, uh, your website where they get you gotta
follow me on instagram in mybio and stuff it's in your bio,
so tell them what it is at dovinewberger on instagram.
Um, I'll be in miami.
I don't know the dates for allthese, but I'll be in miami for,
I think, high lifeline highlifeline.
Yeah, you know, I was justreading.
I I well, I know the podcastofficially over, but I was just

(01:19:53):
reading when you were going.
Anybody say anything?
Have you seen anything?
This is so nice, this is whyyou do.
Someone said there's nothing.
Well, you can start wrapping itup.
Yeah, okay, no, but someonejust wrote that my wife's last
concert was your show inpittsburgh and she passed away
two months, two weeks later, tomy, to me yeah, oh, thank you,
you, thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:20:11):
I'm sorry your wife passed away, but there's nothing
that makes me happier than,like it was the last show my
grandfather saw, or it's mygrandfather's 80th birthday, or
I brought my son to see yourshow for the first time.
I'm the first comic they eversaw.
I'm the first comic he ever saw, by the way, I just did a bar

(01:20:35):
mitzvah, you did a bar mitzvah,I did a bar mitzvah no way.
I missed it was so good, I justdid wait, wait, wait, wait.
This kid have you listen to me.
Listen to me.
My agent calls up because it'sa bar mitzvah and goes, they're
paying.
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
My agent calls up, it's the barmitzvah and goes, they're
paying.
The kid does not want hissister's had like at the Harmony

(01:20:58):
Club, massive.
And the kid wants.
He doesn't want a basketballplayer or whatever that they
bring for bar mitzvahs today.
He goes.
He wants steak and modi, that'sit.
And they push him.
The father's doing well and wasable, that's it.
And they Bukhushan.
The father's doing well and wasable to afford it.
And we set up at Reserve Cut.
I'm not going to mention theirnames.

(01:21:20):
He set up at.
They took the entire ReserveCut, midtown.
Okay.
They did the screen in the back.
Have you been there To Midtown?

Speaker 2 (01:21:28):
yeah, so, like they have in the back it there, it's
in the town, yeah, so like theyhave in the back, it's like a
bar.

Speaker 1 (01:21:40):
It's where all the wines are, and then they so like
they copied that on a screen,but how'd they get?
it like tight for you.
It was they.
It was only 70 people, 50people, yeah, but the kid loved
it.
I was like I'm so happy, likehis story will be.
My bar mitzvah was modi.
That's what I wanted.
I didn't want any bands andsingers and and doing the limbo
whatever the hell they do there.
You know, um, wow, I was sogood, so good and they were

(01:22:04):
great and the father was cooland the mother was cool.
Great opening line I had, sothey had had the montage, which
is like, and to watch themontage when there's guys in the
room.

Speaker 2 (01:22:15):
So the montage Barbara's montage is so
uncomfortable for everyone elsethere your kid's in the bath.
Are we supposed to look at themontage, or are we not supposed?

Speaker 1 (01:22:23):
to the kid's 13 years old and they made a 14 minute
montage.
That means every year got overa minute, it's year got over a
minute.
It's so crazy.
But the great opening line wasso the montage.
Like usually in the montage thefather's like there's young
couple and the father startsbalding and getting fat and but
the father started lookingbetter and better in every
picture.
Oh yeah.
So I said to the father I goyou, it looks like you

(01:22:45):
transformed into being gay bythe end of the thing.
He looked good, he had thebeard looking nice it was.
It was a nice compliment.
The wife just looked the samethe entire whole 14 years and it
was just such a great thing todo.
And it's in the city and itlike and gigs like that cover,
gigs that don't make money, likewhen you do a show in Warsaw
there's no money, you're notmaking money, this kind of

(01:23:05):
covers that it's great, thereason I was thinking about it.

Speaker 2 (01:23:09):
So I just did a Sheva Rechos.
I mean, I do a ton of ShevaRechos.
I just did a Sheva Rechos, aHasidic Sheva Rechos.
Separate seating, and I hate it.
Post-wedding party.

Speaker 1 (01:23:18):
Sheva Rechos.

Speaker 2 (01:23:20):
Separate seating.
I can't stand separate seating.
They're very hard.
Nobody laughs when they're onlysitting next to men.
This gig was actually very good.
It's actually very good.
But I got there and the guystarts explaining to me what you
told me, right?
He starts explaining well, theHasen and Kala.
The father has a company andshe works there, so we invited a

(01:23:40):
few of the employees that aregoing to be there also.
So it's not all and I'm likeit's a Shavuot Rechos, but you
need to write it off, so it's aholiday party.
And he's like yeah, how'd youknow?
I'm like Modi told me 100%.

Speaker 1 (01:23:52):
That's my favorite.
And, by the way, when you do ashow into split audience, so
you're supposed to angle, theysay to you in Yiddish don't look
in the eyes of the women, don'tdeliver a joke to a woman's
eyes.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (01:24:08):
That's what he says to you but you know what I'm
saying?
That's what he says to you, butit wasn't such a like you said.

Speaker 1 (01:24:11):
They all get there Like we're not so religious,
we're not that religious, we'renot that, we're not, I'm not
that from, I'm not that from,but it's, oh, it's, so good you
can work off of the back andforth.
And I say to the men the womenare dying, none of you are
getting this.
Jokes, love, that kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:24:28):
There was one man sitting with the women's section
.
Lehachis.
Yeah, so what's your deal?
He's like I'm gay.

Speaker 1 (01:24:34):
Did he really say?

Speaker 2 (01:24:34):
that no.

Speaker 1 (01:24:37):
Okay, we're wrapping this up.
I am on tour.
I cannot.
This summer has been amazing.
If this goes on before, firstof all, if this goes on before
Yom Kippur, rosh Hashanah,everybody have an amazing
holiday.
Moshiach, energy, whatever youdo, do something, just like, do
something to celebrate it.
Sixth Street Synagogue, my shul, go online If you need a place

(01:25:00):
to go.
It's amazing.
We're having dinner on the 22nd.
I'll be there.
I'll probably be there eventhat night.
Shout out, gav.

Speaker 2 (01:25:08):
Belino.
Shout out to Gav BelinoMoshiach energy rabbi, and then
what I said, arshad Khan, Ithink Gav Belino.
Is he?
I think he was the first one toshow you a video of mine, Maybe
maybe I'll take.

Speaker 1 (01:25:20):
Yeah, sure, I'm on tour.
There's a lot of private showscoming on before which don't
involve anybody that's notlistening to this, but then we
are in Vancouver, seattle, sanFrancisco, we have Atlanta
shooting.
We're shooting a special.
I think there's one or two,three, five tickets left on

(01:25:40):
December 10th and 11th, and thenthere's other shows happening.
So just go online.
Modilifecom.
Be the friend that brings thefriends to the comedy show.
Those of you who have theMashiach Energy Hat I just
ordered a new one for myself,just so it's nice and crisp and
doesn't have the sunburntness onit and the sunscreen all over
it.
The merch store is up.
There's some new things Leo putin there.

(01:26:02):
Modilivecom for everything.
Thank you, leo for organizingthis, and I'm sorry we didn't
read anybody.
Oh, brian Gross.
I'm sorry we didn't readanybody.
Oh, brian Gross, I'm here.

Speaker 2 (01:26:13):
Oh my God, okay, brian, he's one of your joke
testers.
He's the guy whose house we'retalking about.

Speaker 1 (01:26:16):
Oh, okay, he's literally the guy whose house
we're talking about right now,which is a gorgeous house.
It's a gorgeous house.

Speaker 2 (01:26:22):
He never invited me.
Brian, I'm coming for Shabbos.

Speaker 1 (01:26:24):
Okay, so he'll.
No, he'll bring.

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