Why Your Inner Voices Are Trying to Help You Heal | NowShift August 02, 2025

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Yesterday, we opened the door to a deeper way of healing — not by fighting your patterns, but by listening to them.
 We began exploring the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model and the idea that you are not just one voice inside… you're a whole internal family.

Today, we go a step further.

Dr. Abhimanyou Raathore takes us deeper into the world of these inner voices — the parts of you that sometimes push, pull, sabotage, protect, or comfort you… often all at once.
It might be the critic that won’t stop. The achiever who never rests. Or the one that craves peace but disappears when things get hard.

Here’s the truth:
 Every part has a positive intent — even when its actions cause pain.

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why parts form in childhood and how they adapt when you're overwhelmed
• The gap between their intention (to help) and their behavior (which might hurt)
• The danger of silencing or shaming parts — and what actually happens when you do
• Why only you as Self — not your therapist, coach, or doctor — can create permanent change
• How this work builds Antifragilience: the ability to grow stronger, not just survive

Start by noticing the voices.
 When you say, “A part of me feels like…” — that’s your entry point.

Ask yourself:
 Which part do I hear most right now?
 Which one gets judged or ignored the most?

Share in the comments. Let’s get to know your system — part by part.

And tomorrow, we’ll meet the core of it all: the Self — your calm, compassionate, powerful inner healer.

A podcast by Dr. Abhimanyou Raathore
Thank you for tuning in.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Today is August 2nd 2025.
My name is Dr Abhimanyu Rathoreand I'm the founder of the
Anti-Fragilient Operating System.
Here is the anti-fragilienttransmission for the day.

(00:24):
Here is the anti-fragilienttransmission for the day.
Yesterday, we talked about howwe have multiple parts in our
psyche as discovered and usedeffectively in treating anxiety

(00:45):
and panic, phobias, anger andrage, depression, post-traumatic
stress disorder, complex grief,substance use or addiction,
compulsive behavior, obsessivecompulsive disorder, ocd,

(01:12):
unexplained physical symptoms,childhood trauma, early neglect,
relationship difficulties ordisordered eating by internal
family systems.
Now, interestingly, why am Italking to you about internal

(01:34):
family systems?
Because understanding thedifference between you as self
and your parts effectively workstowards helping you become
anti-fragilient.
That means you're not anylonger getting rid of symptoms.

(01:59):
You are sorting things out fromthe very root of the issue.
Now, building on what we talkedabout yesterday, let's go
further and understand why arethese parts there?
Primarily, these parts are ourcoping mechanism.

(02:24):
Some of them help us functionin everyday life.
You know, when living getstough, somehow some of them step
in and they try to ensure thatwe can still go on.
Others are there to distract usfrom the emotional pain we feel

(02:46):
.
And there are yet others thattry to get our attention to help
them heal.
So if you see all the partsthat we have are trying to help

(03:06):
us in some way or the other, nowyou might turn around and say
that, doc, these are not helpful.
They become very painful.
I completely agree with that.
So this is where I would likeyou to understand the intent

(03:27):
versus action.
The intent of each part ofyours is to help.
However, the action might notbe helpful.
This is very similar to whathappens, say, in relationships.

(03:47):
Your intent towards the personwho you love, who you care about
, is always good, at least tillthe time you want to be in that
relationship and you care aboutthat relationship and you care
about that relationship.
And despite that good intent,many a times your actions are

(04:09):
not aligned and they just landthe wrong way and they cause
more problems than they solve.
The same is what happens withthese parts, because when were
these parts developed?
These parts were developed whenwe were growing up, when we were

(04:33):
still young kids, so withlimited resources, whatever way
we could find of coping.
You know of somehow functioning, whether it was numbing
ourselves out and just going onfunctioning.
You know of somehow functioning, whether it was numbing
ourselves out and just going on,functioning, carrying on, or it
was somehow being able todistract ourselves from
emotional pain by saying havinga chocolate binging, whatever,

(04:59):
okay, or having displaced anger,that is, getting angry at
everybody and anybody, beatingourselves up, beating others up,
or screaming, shouting, tryingto get attention, just to help
others see that we needed helpto heal.
That's what these parts weredoing.

(05:22):
All these tantrums andeverything that you seek,
children throw, or adults throwtoo, because at the end of the
day, we are all kids right, bigand small, and and so all these
that we've been trying to do,these are actually our parts who
are trying to Let us functionokay or avoid the pain or

(05:46):
somehow get our attention thatsome healing needs to happen.
Now the point is, whoseattention are they trying to get
?
Whose attention is that?
Whose attention is that?
They are trying to get theattention of you as self,

(06:14):
because the fact of the matteris nobody else in the world and
I'm telling you this as aclinical psychologist and as a
functional medicine practitioner, as a doctor who's been
practicing for so long thatnobody else outside you can heal

(06:36):
them can help them heal yes, ofcourse, external people like me
or other doctors.
We can help you create theenvironment, but the healing
will only happen when you areable to form a deep connect with
these parts.
Are that sunshine for them, arethat love for them that nobody

(07:05):
else in this world, not even themost loving relationships, the
best partners, can ever give you, the best parents can ever give
you?
It's only you.

(07:27):
So the ultimate agent of healingthat you have is you as self,
and that brings so much ofrelief and it offers a permanent
change.
In fact, you know, thisparticular thing that Internal
Family Systems talks about hasbeen documented, clinically
researched to prove that theresults through internal family
systems are permanent, theydon't go away.
Why?

(07:49):
Because suddenly the control ofthe healing is yours.
Because you are the one whohealed, who connected with your
parts and understood them,understood their intent and
their action, just like youwould understand the intent of a
small little child trying toplay and that same child's
action breaking your favoriteglass in your crockery set.

(08:13):
So the intent was just to play,but the action was something
which you were like, so upsetabout.
But if that child was somebodyyou cared about, you would not
go ahead and hurt that child.
You would understand that.
That's exactly what's happeninginside you.
Now let's understand who areyou as self.

(08:37):
Now, before we do that, let'sunderstand these voices a little
bit more.
How do they function?
Right?
So these voices, you know theyget into conflict with each
other many a times.

(08:57):
Or sometimes you have one thatwon't stop talking, or some that
won't stop talking, and I wouldlike you to understand that
these are absolutely normalexperiences.
There's nothing wrong with you.
You're not losing your head,and everybody has got different

(09:17):
kind of voices in their heads,and you know, and most of them
have got different point ofviews.
Or sometimes, you know, theygroup up together and you know,
if you are like most of thepeople, many a times you would
wish that these voices kind ofgo away.
You know, at least, if not all,at least some of these voices

(09:42):
go away, like the voice thatactually criticizes you a lot,
you know, beats you up.
You know, whenever you end upmaking a mistake, it tells you
you're so useless, you're sopathetic, you cannot get
anything right.
Or the other one which you knowtells you to keep silent, okay,
rather than risk speaking up.

(10:03):
Now, the point is this thatthese voices are there for a
reason and the fact is that youwould like to understand the
reason why they are there.

(10:24):
Okay, and you will only be ableto understand that when you are
able to keep an open mind andheart, without you trying to
judge them, that, okay, thereare some voices that are good,
there are some voices that arebad, because what happens when
you feel judged?

(10:45):
When you feel judged, you shutup right, you don't share
anymore.
That's exactly what happenswith these parts.
These voices stop.
That doesn't mean they don'texist.
They will cause issues, butthey'll stop sharing with you.
They will cause issues, butthey'll stop sharing with you.
So today we are going to goahead and help you understand,
or I'm going to help youunderstand.

(11:12):
How is it that you can hearthese voices more mindfully, if
you hear yourself ever talk likethis, that you know a part of
me, something which I referredto yesterday also, a part of me
wants to.
You know a part of me,something which I referred to
yesterday also a part of mewants to do this, a part of me
wants to do that, a part of mewants to do this, a part of me
doesn't want to do that.
Or you hear another part of youinside another voice, which

(11:34):
tells you that you know it'sbetter to be perfect rather than
getting criticized.
You know, and or there wasanother part of you which made
you feel that you're very upsetand you had that really
uncomfortable sense that youwere as vulnerable as a child

(11:57):
again.
Or, you know, after periods ofstress upset, a voice which
tells you that you know what youdeserve a treat, you deserve a
break, you deserve to dosomething to blow off that steam
.
Right.

(12:24):
And if you've had any of theseexperiences, or any variation of
these experiences, you'vealready congratulations.
You've already experiencedparts, or at least
congratulations.
You have recognized that you'veexperienced the parts, because
the part's always there.
So do share in your comments.

(12:45):
How did this connect and whatis the part that troubles you
the most?
I would love to hear it andthen we could help you move
further down the road ofbecoming anti-frigilant.
I'll take this discussionforward tomorrow and help you
understand what is self.

(13:06):
That's all I have for today.
I'll see you tomorrow, bye-bye.