Ask Arlo

Ask Arlo

I am a couples therapist and believe deeply in the healing power of relationships. I believe that we repeat our childhood trauma with the person we connect to and love, and that if we learn to manage our reactions differently, we can begin to heal that trauma. To do this, we have to hear our partner's side, instead of instinctively defending ourselves and fighting for our side. Of course, this has to go both ways, and we then heal when we mutually experience the generosity of the other. Ask Arlo releases new episodes every month on the VoiceAmerica Health and Wellness Channel.

Episodes

April 8, 2022 60 min
In this episode, my guest Robin Handburg and I will deal with the impact of addiction on an individual, a couple, and a family. We will discuss the different roles adopted by members of a family that is dealing with addiction and how these roles are passed down intergenerationally. We'll also discuss the stages of change that can lead to a person's recovery, and resources available to individuals, couples, and families.
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In this podcast, my guest, Roberta Samet, and I discuss the impact of divorce on children, when they are used by one ex-partner to gain power over, or punish, the other. When this happens, children are put into an impossible bind, in which they must align with one parent and reject the other. Often, they take responsibility for the pain they have caused the marginalized parent, and experience intense guilt and remorse in adulthood...
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February 2, 2022 60 min
In this episode my Guest, Karen Ginsburg, and I will examine the Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant Attachment Styles, and their implications both for choosing a partner and being in a relationship.
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January 4, 2022 60 min
In this episode my guest Jordan Dann and I will focus on the System for Analyzing Verbal Communication, or SAVI, developed by Yvonne Agazarian and Anita Simon. SAVi is a communication tool that provides a systematic, objective analysis of what makes conversations succeed or fail. It focuses not on what we say, but on how we say it. SAVI uses a Red/Yellow/Green schema to pinpoint patterns of interaction that will either create th...
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November 24, 2021 60 min
With my guest David B. Alexander, we discussed the essential elements of empathic communication, specifically focusing on Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication approach, and Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt's Imago Relationship Therapy. Topics include Mirroring and Observations, Validation and Needs, Empathy and Feelings, and Behavior Change Requests, principles that apply to all of our relationships.
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October 27, 2021 60 min
With my guest, Michele Frimmer, I will discuss the importance and the power of an apology to heal a difficult relational moment but also how difficult it often is to use this powerful tool, because, depending on your point of view, an apology is either a heartfelt recognition of the hurt our partner is experiencing, or a completely undeserved criticism that must be defended against at any cost. We will discuss how to move from a p...
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