May 20, 2024 • 34 mins
When my midlife health and wellness took a troubling turn in my fifties, I went on my own search to find answers to get my body back and feel good again. My journey sits at the heart of our latest episode, joined by the resilient Stephanie Shaw, who shares her bewildering health crisis. Stephanie's tale is a stark reminder of the crucial role self-advocacy plays, especially when navigating the murky waters of perimenopause and menopause. Together, we peel back the layers of a holistic approach to health that is more than a mere trend—it's a lifeline for many.
Stephanie's experience is a powerful case study in collaborative healthcare's potential, where chiropractors, physical therapists, and nutritionists converge to map out a path to recovery. The revelation of a zyto test opened her eyes to the unique dietary needs of her body, paving the way for a tailored nutrition plan that alleviated her perimenopause symptoms and reinvigorated her life. We also dissect the challenges and victories of weight management in midlife, offering hope and strategies that defy conventional wisdom.
Closing out the episode, we spotlight the launch of "Hello Hot Flash," where a menopause coach is set to demystify the menopause transition for listeners worldwide. I share my personal reflections on stress, anxiety, and the transformative power of self-care routines, with a nod to the diversity in practices that help us find balance. Whether you're lifting weights or lifting your spirits with scripture, this episode invites you to redefine midlife as a time of empowerment and holistic wellness.
You can find Stephanie Shaw and her Hello, Hot Flash Podcast at:
https://www.hellohotflash.com/
https://www.instagram.com/hellohotflashpodcast/
https://www.facebook.com/hellohotflashpodcast
I'd love to work with you! Let me help you reach your health and fitness goals.
https://www.fasterwaycoach.com/?aid=MicheleFolan
Have questions about Faster Way? Feel free to reach out.
mfolanfasterway@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Michele Folan (00:00):
At the age of 59, I wasn't looking or feeling my
best.
I had low energy, I was tiredall the time and I was losing
muscle, gaining fat, and what Ihad done in the past for my diet
and exercise were no longerserving me.
I wanted to do better formyself and started doing some
(00:21):
research and landed on theFaster Way.
This science-based nutritionand fitness program is like no
other.
It includes both food guidanceand daily workouts that are
tailored to fit your goals, andit's perfect for midlife women.
I'm excited to start workingwith clients and introduce you
to a sustainable, healthylifestyle that can lay the
(00:43):
foundation for this next phaseof life.
Are you ready to prioritize you?
Check the show notes of thisepisode and let's connect.
Now on to the show Health,wellness, fitness and everything
in between.
We're removing the taboo fromwhat really matters in midlife.
(01:07):
I'm your host, michelle Follin,and this is Asking for a Friend
.
Welcome to the show.
Everyone, you are in a majorhealth crisis.
You're unable to work or evendrive a car.
You spend thousands of dollarson doctors and tests to no avail
(01:29):
, but it ends up not being anunidentified awful disease after
all, and it certainly wasn'tall in your head.
Stephanie Shaw finally figuredout what had been plaguing her
health and her mental well-being, and now she helps other women
who are struggling to find theanswers.
(01:49):
Welcome to Asking for a Friend,stephanie Shaw.
Stephanie Shaw (01:54):
Thank you, Michelle.
Michele Folan (01:55):
I'm so excited to be here.
Well, it's nice to see youagain.
You and I chatted, I think, atthe end of the year, in 2023.
So it's been a while.
Yeah, I know.
Stephanie Shaw (02:06):
It has been so.
Michele Folan (02:07):
I'm glad we were finally able to make this happen
.
I gave just a little briefoverview of your story.
It's fascinating and I wouldlove for you to share a little
bit about what was going on withyour health and how and when
(02:29):
you finally were able to figurethings out.
Stephanie Shaw (02:32):
Yeah, when you're reading it I'm like, who
is that woman?
She had a lot of issues.
That woman was me and a littlebit about my background.
So I spent 20 years incorporate, 10 years running an
education nonprofit and towardthe end of that nonprofit I
started having some what I nowknow as perimenopausal symptoms,
(02:53):
but I pushed them off andeverything kind of all hit the
fan on March 23rd 2017.
I was walking down the street inNew Orleans.
I was about I don't know why Iwanted to go to Bourbon Street,
like I don't party or anythingI'm like, but I'm in New Orleans
, I need to go.
So I, physically, was about tostep my foot onto Bourbon Street
(03:15):
and my jaw was numb, my handsbegan to tingling and I thought
I was going to have a stroke.
So before the end of that night, I ended up in two different
ERs.
On top of not knowing what wasgoing on, I was with a coworker,
which she's a lovely woman, butit wasn't like I was with
family, so that added to theintensity of it.
(03:35):
And then, over the course of twoyears, I had a little bit of
everything.
So my hair was falling out,twitching in my eyes, tingling
in my hands and feet phantomsmell.
So some days I'd smell gas,some days I'd smell maple syrup,
rapid heartbeat.
There was a ton of differentthings going on.
So over those two years I endedup going to 18 different
(03:58):
doctors, two world-renownedmedical facilities and spending
over $20,000 out of pocket.
And the most frustrating part islike no one could give me an
answer, like I didn't want adiagnosis, to be honest, but you
know, kind of in your headyou're like okay, if it's X, y,
z, then we can just deal with it.
It was not only was it bad, itwas different every day.
(04:19):
So I was confusing the doctorsand confusing myself, which
ultimately led to anxiety and tome not being able to drive for
about two months.
So I was dependent on myhusband, my 70 plus year old mom
, and then my youngest son wasstill at home.
So it was a traumatic two yearsand during that time I just
(04:41):
really started to go deep onnutrition and what that all
looked like.
And that's how I was able to.
Michele Folan (04:47):
To get to the other side, Were you feeling
dismissed during this time?
I mean, were people thinkingyou were crazy or that this was
all in your head?
Stephanie Shaw (04:56):
Yeah, so I felt I was being dismissed, but I
wouldn't let myself be dismissedif you can understand that.
So, like I went in the doctor'soffice and I knew they probably
assumed I was crazy because likeI would go from an
ophthalmologist to which,luckily, a couple of these
people were friends, so theylistened to me maybe a little
bit more.
But ophthalmologist,gynecologist, cardiologist,
(05:19):
physical therapist, what's thesports medicine doctor?
The orthopedic?
Yeah, I went to an orthopedicsurgeon because the stress was
sitting on my neck so I couldn'tmove my neck back and forth
that's why I wasn't driving thegynecologist, because my cycles
are heavy and odd and everyother week and the
ophthalmologist for thetwitching eyes.
(05:42):
So I was going back and forthand I felt I did feel dismissed,
but again, I wouldn't allowmyself to be dismissed.
So part of the work that I do ishelping women understand how
they begin to advocate forthemselves and that's what I did
.
So every time I went to adoctor's appointment, if they
didn't have the records, I hadthe records in my hand and then
(06:02):
I had a list of very clearquestions.
Plus I kept track like, okay,this day I ate this.
And I felt this way, which Ithink made them even more
confused.
But there was a pattern thatluckily I was picking up on
because food, stress, thingsthat were going on in my life
(06:22):
were all part of me being ableto solve what was actually going
on, so that journaling.
It didn't really help when Iwent to the doctor's office, but
it helped me be that detectiveto understand better what was
going on in my body.
Michele Folan (06:37):
I'm really curious, Stephanie, if at this
point did anyone recommendhormone replacement to get
relief from any of thesesymptoms that you were having.
Stephanie Shaw (06:48):
No, because, no one ever mentioned perimenopause
or menopause or postmenopause.
No one ever mentioned what wasactually going on, including my
gynecologist at that time.
So no, so HRT was not mentioned.
And the way that I operate, Ialways try to figure out how to
use food and supplements andwhatever there is in the dirt,
(07:11):
in the soil to help heal my body.
So I probably would not havebeen the best candidate because
I would have been like, no, Ican't, but recognizing that that
is an option for some women.
But yeah, no one suggested itbecause the idea that this was
perimetopausal was not coming up.
That's again why I kept youknow if, if I'm at the
(07:32):
ophthalmologist, I'm like myeyes twitching but I also have
rapid heartbeat, he would justrefer me to a cardiologist who,
when I went there, I'm like, oh,my rapid heartbeat, but you
know, my sciatic is bothering metoo would refer me to a
physical therapist.
So I just, is bothering me too.
Would refer me to a physicaltherapist.
So I just I was being bouncedaround.
(07:55):
There was no strategy or comingtogether of the physicians until
I had a physical therapist whoI'd gone to for probably about
six months and a chiropractorand I befriended both of them,
befriended their staffs and thechiropractor.
She liked me so much.
She still loves me.
She's awesome.
She took it upon herself tomake a lunch meeting with the
physical therapist so they couldtalk about me and help come up
with a plan to help me feelbetter.
(08:17):
So it was the grace of God thatthey had that conversation
because it did help me moveforward.
But I know that's not.
That doesn't ultimately becomeeveryone's story, but that was
part of my story.
When the doctors start talkingto each other and got out of
their own zone of what theyquote unquote only should be
working in, they looked at meholistically.
(08:39):
That's when I was able to startto recover some.
Michele Folan (08:43):
You talk a little bit about diet and it was an
important part of you adjustingto this new normal.
Yeah, exactly what did thatlook like?
How did you kind of nail downyour nutrition during this time?
Stephanie Shaw (09:00):
Yeah.
So I had two chiropractors oneout of state, one in state.
I had two physical therapistsan acupuncturist and someone
that did dry needling.
So it's kind of like I wasgoing back and forth deciding
who was going to give me thebest path.
Well, the out-of-statechiropractor was also a
naturopathic doctor, so I did,after spending the $20,000, I
(09:23):
ended up spending $200 on a, atest and it was called a ZYTO
test.
It's simply a urine test, butit tells you which nutrients are
deficient in your body mymicronutrients and it also tells
you what foods you may besensitive to.
So not an allergy, justsensitive to.
So I had to actually heal my gutin order for my overall healing
(09:47):
to start to take place.
So that one test gave me a listof foods that I could or could
not eat and things like apples,certain beans, certain nuts and
there are really common thingspineapples, bananas, cabbage.
There are things that you wouldnot have thought about.
They weren't right for me atthat time.
So I yes, I use nutrition was100, about 90% of the natural
(10:12):
way that I ended up healing mybody.
I cut out all of those foodsand then I started to focus on
eating really fresh, whole foods.
I wasn't eating meat before,but I like double.
I went more vegan versusvegetarian at that time.
I would take my food to publicevents.
I always say my cousin had ahuge wedding at the time and I
(10:33):
politely took my lunch to the250 person and ate my lunch at
the wedding.
I got very serious and veryfocused because I had been sick
for so long.
So when I started eatingbalanced macronutrients protein,
carbohydrates, fats that werenot only good for me but also
good for my health, that's whenI started to see a change in the
(10:54):
outcomes, and those are justthings that I've worked with
people on as well, because a lotof times as we age, we want to
pull away from fats or from thecarbohydrates, but those are the
things that we really need forour brain health.
We need those things in orderto function well.
We need to also make sure that,as women, we're getting enough
protein in our diet.
So once I got all of thatbalanced and figured out what
(11:15):
was upsetting my gut health, Iwas able to move forward.
Michele Folan (11:19):
Yeah, it's really fascinating because I think we
immediately default to hormonereplacement therapy and I'm on,
I'm on HRT, so I'm I'm very openabout that.
But you know, I like thisholistic approach.
I think it's it's probably agreat message for any woman in
(11:42):
midlife to dial in on that.
You know, because I think weoften complain about our muffin
top and the.
You know the weight that we'regaining in our middle, but you
seem to think that you know thenutrition was directly tied to
the severity of yourperimenopause symptoms.
(12:03):
I am curious, stephanie, whateating like this has done to
your weight, like your overallbody composition.
Have you seen changes?
Stephanie Shaw (12:12):
Yeah, so well, I'll be honest with you.
I teach women how to do what Idid, so the macronutrients
eating more healthy.
And then we uncover whatsensitivities may be in the body
healthy, and then we uncoverwhat sensitivities may be in the
body.
And then I teach them tostrategically begin to do this
on a slow basis so you can buildhabits.
(12:34):
I didn't do that for myself.
So, because I've been sick forso long and I'm like boom, I'm
going hardcore, I'm doing it at100%.
So, honestly, for me, Iinitially lost a ton of weight.
I'm small, my frame is small.
When I say a ton of weight, forme, seven to 10 pounds makes a
huge difference, like in my faceand my whole body.
(12:55):
So for me I lost over 10 pounds, to the point that one of my
sons called my mom.
He's like I know mom has cancer.
She just won't tell us.
We need to know so we can startworking through it.
It was, you know it.
That's how my, my body lookeddifferently.
So for me, it allowed me tolose weight and then I was able
(13:16):
to pull everything back togetherand be a more healthy way.
Right now I'm I'm.
You know, it's always thatthree, five pound kind of thing.
But what I've also learned is'snot about the three to five
pounds Like I have.
So now that I feel as if my gutis well, my gut is healed,
because my gut is now healed andI am living a more healthy
(13:37):
lifestyle, I'm doing moreself-care, journaling and
meditating and so forth I don'tthink about well, I'll lie if I
say I never think about theweight.
Because my son's getting marriedthis summer, I'm like, oh, I've
got to fit in a dress.
But on the day to day theweight doesn't become an issue,
because now I have joy and havepeace and I'm more calm and
(13:58):
family relationships are betterand I'm not my hormones aren't
all crazy where I'm like yellingand stressed out.
So that is way more importantthan the weight and that's why
I'd like for everyone to startthinking about that.
This is like an amazing time ofyour life.
I'm like I know when not toshut my mouth.
You know what I mean.
You can solve a lot of problemsjust by not saying anything.
(14:19):
The wisdom that comes alongwith the age is what I would
like for people to start tofocus on.
But yeah, I've seen somefluctuations in weight, but I
try to focus primarily on all ofthe other benefits that eating
this way has brought to me.
Michele Folan (14:34):
Yeah, and I love this message because it wasn't
just about healing your gut andfinding foods that worked for
you, but reducing your stressand also speaking your mind, you
know, being more forthrightabout not just your physical
issues but communication withpeople around you.
(14:58):
So you know, I know I love this.
I love this time of life.
I wouldn't pass this moment upfor anything, right?
No?
Stephanie Shaw (15:07):
I do occasionally say that I want to
go back to my freshman year inhigh school because I would
probably pick a different.
Like I would have anaturopathic degree at this
point or functional medicine.
Like if I would have known allof this back in the 80s, that
would have been so amazing.
That's the only reason I wouldgo back, only for the education
piece.
But for everything else, lifeand everything that's gone on
(15:29):
this right here, is the besttime of life, I believe.
Michele Folan (15:33):
Now, Stephanie, you know it's never too late.
Stephanie Shaw (15:36):
I know.
I know, I know, I know, I mean,I have my master's degree, my
MS, but I, um, I really wouldhave like man, I wish I would
have known about functionalmedicine back in the 80s,
because back then we thoughthippies did it.
You know, oh, those are hippiepeople, they're the smart people
(15:57):
, yeah, yeah.
Michele Folan (16:00):
Well, and you know, I grew up with a dad who
was an MD and even back then inthe early years, chiropractic
was even kind of voodoo right.
It still is to some people, tosome people, but a lot of the
medical doctors that I knowrefer to chiropractors.
(16:21):
So I think we've come a longway in regard to that.
Are you surprised how manywomen are coming forward and
asking for your help and thattheir stories are so relatable?
Stephanie Shaw (16:34):
Yeah, I am so and honestly, that's why I'm
doing the work that I'm doing.
I hid mine for the entire year.
So my immediate family knew somy, my husband, my kids, my
parents and my board chair,because I was running a
nonprofit at the time.
So I let John know.
But I'm like, can we not tellanyone that I don't know what's
(16:55):
going on with me?
And then the employees that Ihad, of course they knew,
because I was at the doctor andone was on the trip with me.
So when I, after I, startedtalking about it and then
started to hear other stories,I'm like man, there has to be.
I have to share what happenedso that no one else has two
(17:15):
years.
I need to tell you likeimmediately if you do this, this
, this and this, you will notneed to have two years of a
struggle.
If you ask these questions whenyou're at the doctor's office,
this can help you move forward.
So, yeah, I'm very surprisedthat so many women are having
similar issues that I had andthat it's 2024 and we're really
(17:41):
just now starting to talk aboutit at this level.
It's sad, actually, I'm verysad.
Michele Folan (17:47):
Yes, yeah it is, but again, it's because we're
talking about it.
You know, Halle Berry just thisweek came forward and said her
doctor had told her she hadhorrible herpes and it was
actually perimenopause.
Yeah, and she's, and it wasactually perimenopause, yeah.
(18:11):
The more that these highprofile women come forward and
talk about it openly like this,it really does help everyone and
open up the discussion.
You have a podcast.
Stephanie Shaw (18:19):
That has to happen.
I'm sorry, I was just gonna saythat saddens me that that has
to happen.
I'm grateful for it, but I'msaddened by the fact that that
has to happen in order for ourvoice as women to be heard.
Like it, you know, we're notlistened to enough, so
especially when it comes to ourhealth, Correct, Correct, and.
Michele Folan (18:38):
And you started a podcast.
It's called Hello Hot Flash.
When did you decide?
Okay, I I like the coachingpiece.
Now I feel like a podcast is inorder.
Stephanie Shaw (18:52):
Yes, so my undergrad degree is in
telecommunications, so I've donesome TV and radio work in the
past.
So it felt like a natural fit,and I don't know why, but the
more podcasters I listen or talkto one-on-one they're like I'm
an introvert.
I don't know if it's theintrovert's way to stay closed
(19:12):
off but yet still have somebuddies.
I'm not sure why, but so that'skind of the side in my mind.
I'm like, oh, this is anopportunity to meet and engage
with people.
But also I had started to builda network of women who were
really smart.
They knew about bioidenticalversus compounded HRT.
(19:35):
They understood what to do whenyou had vaginal dryness.
They understood all of thatstuff.
And I thought, if I'm havingthese conversations with these
very intelligent women fromaround the world, why am I not
sharing this information witheveryone?
So I'm setting the podcast upor this podcast is set up.
(19:55):
So just that happened.
So it's not like you only cantalk to your gynecologist or
your girlfriend.
Now you have access to all ofthis very relevant information
on perimenopause and alsopostmenopause and then just life
in general.
That information that we needis meant by women.
Michele Folan (20:12):
Yeah, and I've looked at, well, I've listened
to your podcast, but I've alsolooked at some of your other
episodes as well, and you reallydo cover the gamut of topics
that are super relevant.
There was one thing I wanted toback up and talk about and that
is the role of anxiety inperimenopause and menopause,
(20:36):
because those heart palpitationsare real.
No, I've had them.
I've had them recently.
They haven't gone away, evenwith HRT and being 60.
Do you have any suggestions ofways for women to manage that
anxiety and that stress thatcomes with this time of life?
Stephanie Shaw (20:59):
I think one of the things I didn't do and I've
recommended to quite a few womenis understand where the stress
is coming from, because oftenwe'll make an assumption oh, we
just do what we do.
We go to work 40 to 50 hoursper week.
We come home, clean the house,cook, take care of our spouse,
our kids, our grandkids.
We just do it all, and that'sthe way it is.
(21:21):
That's the way it has to be,and that's the way it is.
That's the way it has to be.
And then sometimes you willfind that hidden in all of that
are certain things that may betriggering stress or causing
your cortisol hormones to stayat 100 all of the time.
I always recommend, just like Idid when I went to the doctor I
(21:47):
tracked everything and I kindof journaled my way back to
health.
I journaled my way throughstress as well.
When I started to see a pattern, I'm like, oh man, every time
I'm in this person's presence orevery time this person and I
have a conversation, I didn'teven realize I had worse sciatic
pain, like that whole next weekor that next day or what have
you, because I was making thatcomparison, I was finding my own
data.
So that's what I encouragepeople to do.
(22:08):
First step figure out whatwhere the anxiety is coming from
.
So my stress was coming fromtwo people.
My anxiety was coming because Icouldn't figure out why I was
sick.
But again, I had to map all ofthat out and I think one thing
that we can do is recognize thatand you guys heard this 5
million times because it's thebuzzword put on your own oxygen
mask first, you know, take careof yourself.
(22:31):
But I say it in a joking way.
Yet it is very serious becauseprior to this, I really did
think that people took care ofthemselves, were selfish, Like I
have a story that I clearlyremember sitting in the bridal
room at our church andeveryone's going around talking
about what they did forthemselves.
Like one woman went to themovies once a week by herself.
(22:52):
One woman went out to get hernails done, not just for her
nails, but just so she could getaway.
I'm like, oh my goodness,they're so selfish.
Is their house clean?
Are the kids being taken careof?
Like I'm going through all ofthat crazy me and yet they're
thriving.
So I had to flip that scriptand recognize the only way that
(23:12):
I could thrive is if I startedto put some self-care practices
in place.
So I also recommend that peopleunderstand what that looks like
to them.
Going to the movies every weekby myself I don't think that's.
For me, that's not self-care.
But sitting alone, quietlyreading a book, sitting out by
my pond, or just anything likethat.
To me that's self-care.
(23:33):
Other women it may be.
I need, you know, 10 of myfriends over and we just need to
go out to dinner and laugh,figure out what self-care really
is and then start to implementthat.
Maybe you can only do it onceper month, then maybe it's every
other week.
You will see that stress andanxiety that you have slowly
begin to release and slowlybegin to go away.
(23:55):
It was so crazy.
I'm like, oh, why did someonetell me this earlier?
Just by taking time to myself.
I'm like not all stressed outand anxious about everything.
Just by taking time to myself.
I'm like not all stressed outand anxious about everything,
because I have those momentswhere I can actually reflect on
what's important.
And as it related to stress, Ialso began having some bold
conversations, and I did themstrategically, so I didn't just
(24:18):
get in someone's face and sayyou're making me sick, you make
my sciatic hurt and giving me apain in the neck.
So what I did was understood.
I actually sat down like,dotted out where they are in
life, where I am, this is whatthey're going to probably say to
(24:39):
me.
That's going to hurt myfeelings.
So how am I going to respond?
And then, kind of I like playedthe role of both people
preparing for that conversation.
And then when I had theconversation it went both
conversations they went sosmoothly.
It's like it was totallydifferent than just immediately
going at someone.
So those those couple of thingsfor stress and anxiety, I have
(25:01):
seen them work for myself andfor others as well.
We we just first have torecognize where it's coming from
.
Michele Folan (25:07):
I love that idea of my thumbs really hurt.
So what is going on in my liferight now that is making my
thumbs hurt?
And actually that is a truething.
That happens to me when I getsuper stressed out.
I have arthritis in my thumbs.
It flares up and I know it.
(25:27):
Now I can identify those things, but you almost have to catalog
it, journal it and you maystart to see some patterns with
that.
So this is super great advice.
Stephanie, I love this.
You obviously are a menopausecoach, so how do you work with
(25:48):
clients?
Stephanie Shaw (25:48):
Yeah.
So clients can come to me andwe work together for six months
and we go through this four-stepprocess called Meno.
So we work on mindset what doesit really look like during this
time?
And how to get you preparedemotionally and physically for
the changes that are going totake place over the next six
months that we're together andhopefully over your lifetime.
(26:11):
Then we focus on exercise,because sometimes people will
over exercise during this timenot exercise at all, they'll do
cardio but not lift weights andtalking about why each part has
a place and how importantlifting weights is for women,
and then just start to buildreally small habits.
Our goal is not to run amarathon.
(26:32):
Our goal is to walk for 10minutes per day, you know,
initially, and then maybe we'readding a few minutes and then
maybe we're lifting two poundsand then perhaps we get up to 10
pounds.
So walking through all of thatand then educating women on why
it's important because peoplecan tell you to do things.
But if you don't reallyunderstand that, you know as you
age, if you fall, your chancesof survival over the first year
(26:53):
of falling is X.
Or if you're not buildingstrong, healthy bones and your
muscles aren't strong and you'renot flexible.
Xyz can happen, osteoporosisand so forth.
So education is really huge andwe talk about exercise.
Then nutrition, again, wetalked a little bit earlier
about people assuming that theyshould cut carbs or that they
(27:14):
need to fast, for you know, 20hours out of the day and so
forth.
Our body, all of our bodies aredifferent period, and our
bodies are different for us thanthey were when we were 20.
So, understanding where yourbody is now and what you can
handle.
So one of my clients, um, LeeAnn, actually she was doing that
(27:35):
little short one about eat sixhour, eat between six, you know,
I think it was noon and 6 PMand she was exercising like a
maniac, she was working out, shehad a trainer and so forth and
could not lose weight.
For over a year we did theopposite.
We worked on nutrition, had hereating a ton more food and then
pulled back on the exercise andin three weeks she lost seven
(27:57):
pounds.
She's like I don't know howthis happened.
I'm like cause you werefighting your body, so educating
people on that happen.
I'm like because you werefighting your body, so educating
people on that.
And then the last piece of thatminnow is optimization.
That is so important Because,again, we talked about how now
we are, this is our power mode.
We were wise.
We, you know, race.
A lot of us have raised children.
Sometimes we're helping raiseour children's children.
(28:19):
We, you know, gone throughdifferent relationships.
We had a bunch of bosses we hadto tolerate.
Like, how do you harness all ofthat knowledge and information
that you now have and thendecide what you're going to do
with it?
Are you going to change careers?
I had a client also that shewas like she went through.
(28:39):
We were working together, shehad an opportunity to retire
early and then she just said itjust feels right now, because I
have everything else in place, Ineed to.
Now that I have more energy andI've lost this weight, I need
to live the next part of my lifemore free and out of this
workplace.
So, optimizing what is going onright then and then deciding
(29:00):
what you want to do with thenext chapter, because the next
chapter is beautiful.
I'm so excited I'll be 55 thissummer.
Michele Folan (29:06):
I'm like you look terrific and I love your.
You said 60.
I'm like it's real, it's 60.
I know, I know, I know you talkabout making changes.
I resigned from my job recently.
(29:27):
Yeah, my last day was a weekago.
Oh, wow, congratulations, thankyou, and I'm I'm onto my next
little project and I haven'thaven't totally announced it yet
, but I just feel, much likeyour client does, that you know
(29:48):
I need this time for me and todo some things that are
important to me.
You know I've been working for42 years and it's time right and
you know it when it's time.
You know I may not have beenready to do this even two years
ago, but I think there's thiscalling and I, but we, we have
(30:10):
this confidence at this time oflife.
Yeah, and, and and that is,that's the beautiful gift that
we're given in in midlife.
Stephanie Shaw (30:22):
Is that confidence, to say that we're
given in midlife is thatconfidence to say you know what
I can do this, yeah, yeah.
And part of that optimizationis building that confidence
because while we have it, somewomen still don't.
There may not be confidence bywhat's inside and or what's
going on outside.
So helping build thatconfidence I'm happy you said
that that's all a part of thisas well.
(30:43):
Yeah, exciting.
Michele Folan (30:45):
I would love for you to share one of your pillars
of self-care like somethingthat you do that is important to
you and a non-negotiable yeah,spending time in the Word,
spending time reading my Bibleand praying and listening to
worship music, so likenon-negotiable.
Stephanie Shaw (31:06):
I don't care.
I mean, there's a few morningsI'll get up and I'll be like, oh
, I don't have time, but I willat least read a scripture, you
know, real quick, if I have toand those are very few, far
between.
If I do not start my day withGod, my day does not start right
.
And then I even beat myself up,which I know is not fair and
(31:27):
should not be done, because hehas tons of grace for us.
But I'm like, oh, I didn'tspend enough time or I need to
do this.
So throughout the day, if Ifeel like I haven't spent enough
time, there's worship musicblasting in the background,
blasting in my car.
That is a non-negotiable.
And I always talk about theexercise, the nutrition, the
(31:47):
self-care and so forth.
But and I talk about thenutrition that healed my body,
but at the very core of it, itwas that relationship and me
being able to study the bibleand go back to the word of God
and know what he says about myhealing and know that he knit me
together in my mother's womb.
That is really what is the coreof the reason why I know my
(32:10):
body was healed and I was ableto get some solutions early.
Michele Folan (32:13):
And it's that piece of gratitude.
Yes, that connection, thatspiritual connection that you
have, is also about gratitude.
Stephanie Shaw (32:24):
It really is yeah you're right, you had.
So I, when I was sick, duringthat whole time, I'm like, okay,
I, every once in a while I'mlike I need 60 seconds to
complain, and I would, and itwould make me laugh, cause it
was, you know, like setting upthe moment to complain.
But my thought process wasthrough that entire two years,
was like, oh, wow, you havesomething really good for me,
(32:48):
cause I'm like Job right now,like I'm not my skin wasn't
falling off, but I'm feelinglike Job right now.
So you must have somethingreally good in the end for me.
So, yeah, that you're the wayyou think about what you out.
No, that's what I say Thinkabout what you think about.
And if you put, even if you'regoing through a struggle right
(33:09):
now, you don't have theconfidence, you can't optimize
this time of year, you're,you're suffering with the hot
flashes and so forth.
Start to focus on all of thethings that you should be
grateful for, as you just said,michelle, and that completely
starts to shift your perspective.
It helps with the stress andanxiety as well.
Michele Folan (33:27):
Absolutely.
Stephanie Shaw, I would lovefor you to share where the
listeners can find your podcastand also your coaching.
Stephanie Shaw (33:35):
Yes, so if you go to my website
hellohotflashcom, you can findeverything.
There are a ton of freeresources on there.
You can get access to thepodcast and then you can learn a
little bit more about mycoaching.
Michele Folan (33:51):
Stephanie Shaw.
Thank you so much for beinghere today on Asking for a
Friend.
Thank you so much, Michelle.
Stephanie Shaw (33:58):
I appreciate you .
Michele Folan (34:02):
Follow Asking for a Friend on social media
outlets and provide a review andshare this show wherever you
get your podcasts.
Reviews and sharing help usgrow.
At the age of 59, I wasn't looking or feeling my
best.
I had low energy, I was tiredall the time and I was losing
muscle, gaining fat, and what Ihad done in the past for my diet
and exercise were no longerserving me.
I wanted to do better formyself and started doing some
(00:21):
research and landed on theFaster Way.
This science-based nutritionand fitness program is like no
other.
It includes both food guidanceand daily workouts that are
tailored to fit your goals, andit's perfect for midlife women.
I'm excited to start workingwith clients and introduce you
to a sustainable, healthylifestyle that can lay the
(00:43):
foundation for this next phaseof life.
Are you ready to prioritize you?
Check the show notes of thisepisode and let's connect.
Now on to the show Health,wellness, fitness and everything
in between.
We're removing the taboo fromwhat really matters in midlife.
(01:07):
I'm your host, michelle Follin,and this is Asking for a Friend
.
Welcome to the show.
Everyone, you are in a majorhealth crisis.
You're unable to work or evendrive a car.
You spend thousands of dollarson doctors and tests to no avail
(01:29):
, but it ends up not being anunidentified awful disease after
all, and it certainly wasn'tall in your head.
Stephanie Shaw finally figuredout what had been plaguing her
health and her mental well-being, and now she helps other women
who are struggling to find theanswers.
(01:49):
Welcome to Asking for a Friend,stephanie Shaw.
Stephanie Shaw (01:54):
Thank you, Michelle.
Michele Folan (01:55):
I'm so excited to be here.
Well, it's nice to see youagain.
You and I chatted, I think, atthe end of the year, in 2023.
So it's been a while.
Yeah, I know.
Stephanie Shaw (02:06):
It has been so.
Michele Folan (02:07):
I'm glad we were finally able to make this happen
.
I gave just a little briefoverview of your story.
It's fascinating and I wouldlove for you to share a little
bit about what was going on withyour health and how and when
(02:29):
you finally were able to figurethings out.
Stephanie Shaw (02:32):
Yeah, when you're reading it I'm like, who
is that woman?
She had a lot of issues.
That woman was me and a littlebit about my background.
So I spent 20 years incorporate, 10 years running an
education nonprofit and towardthe end of that nonprofit I
started having some what I nowknow as perimenopausal symptoms,
(02:53):
but I pushed them off andeverything kind of all hit the
fan on March 23rd 2017.
I was walking down the street inNew Orleans.
I was about I don't know why Iwanted to go to Bourbon Street,
like I don't party or anythingI'm like, but I'm in New Orleans
, I need to go.
So I, physically, was about tostep my foot onto Bourbon Street
(03:15):
and my jaw was numb, my handsbegan to tingling and I thought
I was going to have a stroke.
So before the end of that night, I ended up in two different
ERs.
On top of not knowing what wasgoing on, I was with a coworker,
which she's a lovely woman, butit wasn't like I was with
family, so that added to theintensity of it.
(03:35):
And then, over the course of twoyears, I had a little bit of
everything.
So my hair was falling out,twitching in my eyes, tingling
in my hands and feet phantomsmell.
So some days I'd smell gas,some days I'd smell maple syrup,
rapid heartbeat.
There was a ton of differentthings going on.
So over those two years I endedup going to 18 different
(03:58):
doctors, two world-renownedmedical facilities and spending
over $20,000 out of pocket.
And the most frustrating part islike no one could give me an
answer, like I didn't want adiagnosis, to be honest, but you
know, kind of in your headyou're like okay, if it's X, y,
z, then we can just deal with it.
It was not only was it bad, itwas different every day.
(04:19):
So I was confusing the doctorsand confusing myself, which
ultimately led to anxiety and tome not being able to drive for
about two months.
So I was dependent on myhusband, my 70 plus year old mom
, and then my youngest son wasstill at home.
So it was a traumatic two yearsand during that time I just
(04:41):
really started to go deep onnutrition and what that all
looked like.
And that's how I was able to.
Michele Folan (04:47):
To get to the other side, Were you feeling
dismissed during this time?
I mean, were people thinkingyou were crazy or that this was
all in your head?
Stephanie Shaw (04:56):
Yeah, so I felt I was being dismissed, but I
wouldn't let myself be dismissedif you can understand that.
So, like I went in the doctor'soffice and I knew they probably
assumed I was crazy because likeI would go from an
ophthalmologist to which,luckily, a couple of these
people were friends, so theylistened to me maybe a little
bit more.
But ophthalmologist,gynecologist, cardiologist,
(05:19):
physical therapist, what's thesports medicine doctor?
The orthopedic?
Yeah, I went to an orthopedicsurgeon because the stress was
sitting on my neck so I couldn'tmove my neck back and forth
that's why I wasn't driving thegynecologist, because my cycles
are heavy and odd and everyother week and the
ophthalmologist for thetwitching eyes.
(05:42):
So I was going back and forthand I felt I did feel dismissed,
but again, I wouldn't allowmyself to be dismissed.
So part of the work that I do ishelping women understand how
they begin to advocate forthemselves and that's what I did
.
So every time I went to adoctor's appointment, if they
didn't have the records, I hadthe records in my hand and then
(06:02):
I had a list of very clearquestions.
Plus I kept track like, okay,this day I ate this.
And I felt this way, which Ithink made them even more
confused.
But there was a pattern thatluckily I was picking up on
because food, stress, thingsthat were going on in my life
(06:22):
were all part of me being ableto solve what was actually going
on, so that journaling.
It didn't really help when Iwent to the doctor's office, but
it helped me be that detectiveto understand better what was
going on in my body.
Michele Folan (06:37):
I'm really curious, Stephanie, if at this
point did anyone recommendhormone replacement to get
relief from any of thesesymptoms that you were having.
Stephanie Shaw (06:48):
No, because, no one ever mentioned perimenopause
or menopause or postmenopause.
No one ever mentioned what wasactually going on, including my
gynecologist at that time.
So no, so HRT was not mentioned.
And the way that I operate, Ialways try to figure out how to
use food and supplements andwhatever there is in the dirt,
(07:11):
in the soil to help heal my body.
So I probably would not havebeen the best candidate because
I would have been like, no, Ican't, but recognizing that that
is an option for some women.
But yeah, no one suggested itbecause the idea that this was
perimetopausal was not coming up.
That's again why I kept youknow if, if I'm at the
(07:32):
ophthalmologist, I'm like myeyes twitching but I also have
rapid heartbeat, he would justrefer me to a cardiologist who,
when I went there, I'm like, oh,my rapid heartbeat, but you
know, my sciatic is bothering metoo would refer me to a
physical therapist.
So I just, is bothering me too.
Would refer me to a physicaltherapist.
So I just I was being bouncedaround.
(07:55):
There was no strategy or comingtogether of the physicians until
I had a physical therapist whoI'd gone to for probably about
six months and a chiropractorand I befriended both of them,
befriended their staffs and thechiropractor.
She liked me so much.
She still loves me.
She's awesome.
She took it upon herself tomake a lunch meeting with the
physical therapist so they couldtalk about me and help come up
with a plan to help me feelbetter.
(08:17):
So it was the grace of God thatthey had that conversation
because it did help me moveforward.
But I know that's not.
That doesn't ultimately becomeeveryone's story, but that was
part of my story.
When the doctors start talkingto each other and got out of
their own zone of what theyquote unquote only should be
working in, they looked at meholistically.
(08:39):
That's when I was able to startto recover some.
Michele Folan (08:43):
You talk a little bit about diet and it was an
important part of you adjustingto this new normal.
Yeah, exactly what did thatlook like?
How did you kind of nail downyour nutrition during this time?
Stephanie Shaw (09:00):
Yeah.
So I had two chiropractors oneout of state, one in state.
I had two physical therapistsan acupuncturist and someone
that did dry needling.
So it's kind of like I wasgoing back and forth deciding
who was going to give me thebest path.
Well, the out-of-statechiropractor was also a
naturopathic doctor, so I did,after spending the $20,000, I
(09:23):
ended up spending $200 on a, atest and it was called a ZYTO
test.
It's simply a urine test, butit tells you which nutrients are
deficient in your body mymicronutrients and it also tells
you what foods you may besensitive to.
So not an allergy, justsensitive to.
So I had to actually heal my gutin order for my overall healing
(09:47):
to start to take place.
So that one test gave me a listof foods that I could or could
not eat and things like apples,certain beans, certain nuts and
there are really common thingspineapples, bananas, cabbage.
There are things that you wouldnot have thought about.
They weren't right for me atthat time.
So I yes, I use nutrition was100, about 90% of the natural
(10:12):
way that I ended up healing mybody.
I cut out all of those foodsand then I started to focus on
eating really fresh, whole foods.
I wasn't eating meat before,but I like double.
I went more vegan versusvegetarian at that time.
I would take my food to publicevents.
I always say my cousin had ahuge wedding at the time and I
(10:33):
politely took my lunch to the250 person and ate my lunch at
the wedding.
I got very serious and veryfocused because I had been sick
for so long.
So when I started eatingbalanced macronutrients protein,
carbohydrates, fats that werenot only good for me but also
good for my health, that's whenI started to see a change in the
(10:54):
outcomes, and those are justthings that I've worked with
people on as well, because a lotof times as we age, we want to
pull away from fats or from thecarbohydrates, but those are the
things that we really need forour brain health.
We need those things in orderto function well.
We need to also make sure that,as women, we're getting enough
protein in our diet.
So once I got all of thatbalanced and figured out what
(11:15):
was upsetting my gut health, Iwas able to move forward.
Michele Folan (11:19):
Yeah, it's really fascinating because I think we
immediately default to hormonereplacement therapy and I'm on,
I'm on HRT, so I'm I'm very openabout that.
But you know, I like thisholistic approach.
I think it's it's probably agreat message for any woman in
(11:42):
midlife to dial in on that.
You know, because I think weoften complain about our muffin
top and the.
You know the weight that we'regaining in our middle, but you
seem to think that you know thenutrition was directly tied to
the severity of yourperimenopause symptoms.
(12:03):
I am curious, stephanie, whateating like this has done to
your weight, like your overallbody composition.
Have you seen changes?
Stephanie Shaw (12:12):
Yeah, so well, I'll be honest with you.
I teach women how to do what Idid, so the macronutrients
eating more healthy.
And then we uncover whatsensitivities may be in the body
healthy, and then we uncoverwhat sensitivities may be in the
body.
And then I teach them tostrategically begin to do this
on a slow basis so you can buildhabits.
(12:34):
I didn't do that for myself.
So, because I've been sick forso long and I'm like boom, I'm
going hardcore, I'm doing it at100%.
So, honestly, for me, Iinitially lost a ton of weight.
I'm small, my frame is small.
When I say a ton of weight, forme, seven to 10 pounds makes a
huge difference, like in my faceand my whole body.
(12:55):
So for me I lost over 10 pounds, to the point that one of my
sons called my mom.
He's like I know mom has cancer.
She just won't tell us.
We need to know so we can startworking through it.
It was, you know it.
That's how my, my body lookeddifferently.
So for me, it allowed me tolose weight and then I was able
(13:16):
to pull everything back togetherand be a more healthy way.
Right now I'm I'm.
You know, it's always thatthree, five pound kind of thing.
But what I've also learned is'snot about the three to five
pounds Like I have.
So now that I feel as if my gutis well, my gut is healed,
because my gut is now healed andI am living a more healthy
(13:37):
lifestyle, I'm doing moreself-care, journaling and
meditating and so forth I don'tthink about well, I'll lie if I
say I never think about theweight.
Because my son's getting marriedthis summer, I'm like, oh, I've
got to fit in a dress.
But on the day to day theweight doesn't become an issue,
because now I have joy and havepeace and I'm more calm and
(13:58):
family relationships are betterand I'm not my hormones aren't
all crazy where I'm like yellingand stressed out.
So that is way more importantthan the weight and that's why
I'd like for everyone to startthinking about that.
This is like an amazing time ofyour life.
I'm like I know when not toshut my mouth.
You know what I mean.
You can solve a lot of problemsjust by not saying anything.
(14:19):
The wisdom that comes alongwith the age is what I would
like for people to start tofocus on.
But yeah, I've seen somefluctuations in weight, but I
try to focus primarily on all ofthe other benefits that eating
this way has brought to me.
Michele Folan (14:34):
Yeah, and I love this message because it wasn't
just about healing your gut andfinding foods that worked for
you, but reducing your stressand also speaking your mind, you
know, being more forthrightabout not just your physical
issues but communication withpeople around you.
(14:58):
So you know, I know I love this.
I love this time of life.
I wouldn't pass this moment upfor anything, right?
No?
Stephanie Shaw (15:07):
I do occasionally say that I want to
go back to my freshman year inhigh school because I would
probably pick a different.
Like I would have anaturopathic degree at this
point or functional medicine.
Like if I would have known allof this back in the 80s, that
would have been so amazing.
That's the only reason I wouldgo back, only for the education
piece.
But for everything else, lifeand everything that's gone on
(15:29):
this right here, is the besttime of life, I believe.
Michele Folan (15:33):
Now, Stephanie, you know it's never too late.
Stephanie Shaw (15:36):
I know.
I know, I know, I know, I mean,I have my master's degree, my
MS, but I, um, I really wouldhave like man, I wish I would
have known about functionalmedicine back in the 80s,
because back then we thoughthippies did it.
You know, oh, those are hippiepeople, they're the smart people
(15:57):
, yeah, yeah.
Michele Folan (16:00):
Well, and you know, I grew up with a dad who
was an MD and even back then inthe early years, chiropractic
was even kind of voodoo right.
It still is to some people, tosome people, but a lot of the
medical doctors that I knowrefer to chiropractors.
(16:21):
So I think we've come a longway in regard to that.
Are you surprised how manywomen are coming forward and
asking for your help and thattheir stories are so relatable?
Stephanie Shaw (16:34):
Yeah, I am so and honestly, that's why I'm
doing the work that I'm doing.
I hid mine for the entire year.
So my immediate family knew somy, my husband, my kids, my
parents and my board chair,because I was running a
nonprofit at the time.
So I let John know.
But I'm like, can we not tellanyone that I don't know what's
(16:55):
going on with me?
And then the employees that Ihad, of course they knew,
because I was at the doctor andone was on the trip with me.
So when I, after I, startedtalking about it and then
started to hear other stories,I'm like man, there has to be.
I have to share what happenedso that no one else has two
(17:15):
years.
I need to tell you likeimmediately if you do this, this
, this and this, you will notneed to have two years of a
struggle.
If you ask these questions whenyou're at the doctor's office,
this can help you move forward.
So, yeah, I'm very surprisedthat so many women are having
similar issues that I had andthat it's 2024 and we're really
(17:41):
just now starting to talk aboutit at this level.
It's sad, actually, I'm verysad.
Michele Folan (17:47):
Yes, yeah it is, but again, it's because we're
talking about it.
You know, Halle Berry just thisweek came forward and said her
doctor had told her she hadhorrible herpes and it was
actually perimenopause.
Yeah, and she's, and it wasactually perimenopause, yeah.
(18:11):
The more that these highprofile women come forward and
talk about it openly like this,it really does help everyone and
open up the discussion.
You have a podcast.
Stephanie Shaw (18:19):
That has to happen.
I'm sorry, I was just gonna saythat saddens me that that has
to happen.
I'm grateful for it, but I'msaddened by the fact that that
has to happen in order for ourvoice as women to be heard.
Like it, you know, we're notlistened to enough, so
especially when it comes to ourhealth, Correct, Correct, and.
Michele Folan (18:38):
And you started a podcast.
It's called Hello Hot Flash.
When did you decide?
Okay, I I like the coachingpiece.
Now I feel like a podcast is inorder.
Stephanie Shaw (18:52):
Yes, so my undergrad degree is in
telecommunications, so I've donesome TV and radio work in the
past.
So it felt like a natural fit,and I don't know why, but the
more podcasters I listen or talkto one-on-one they're like I'm
an introvert.
I don't know if it's theintrovert's way to stay closed
(19:12):
off but yet still have somebuddies.
I'm not sure why, but so that'skind of the side in my mind.
I'm like, oh, this is anopportunity to meet and engage
with people.
But also I had started to builda network of women who were
really smart.
They knew about bioidenticalversus compounded HRT.
(19:35):
They understood what to do whenyou had vaginal dryness.
They understood all of thatstuff.
And I thought, if I'm havingthese conversations with these
very intelligent women fromaround the world, why am I not
sharing this information witheveryone?
So I'm setting the podcast upor this podcast is set up.
(19:55):
So just that happened.
So it's not like you only cantalk to your gynecologist or
your girlfriend.
Now you have access to all ofthis very relevant information
on perimenopause and alsopostmenopause and then just life
in general.
That information that we needis meant by women.
Michele Folan (20:12):
Yeah, and I've looked at, well, I've listened
to your podcast, but I've alsolooked at some of your other
episodes as well, and you reallydo cover the gamut of topics
that are super relevant.
There was one thing I wanted toback up and talk about and that
is the role of anxiety inperimenopause and menopause,
(20:36):
because those heart palpitationsare real.
No, I've had them.
I've had them recently.
They haven't gone away, evenwith HRT and being 60.
Do you have any suggestions ofways for women to manage that
anxiety and that stress thatcomes with this time of life?
Stephanie Shaw (20:59):
I think one of the things I didn't do and I've
recommended to quite a few womenis understand where the stress
is coming from, because oftenwe'll make an assumption oh, we
just do what we do.
We go to work 40 to 50 hoursper week.
We come home, clean the house,cook, take care of our spouse,
our kids, our grandkids.
We just do it all, and that'sthe way it is.
(21:21):
That's the way it has to be,and that's the way it is.
That's the way it has to be.
And then sometimes you willfind that hidden in all of that
are certain things that may betriggering stress or causing
your cortisol hormones to stayat 100 all of the time.
I always recommend, just like Idid when I went to the doctor I
(21:47):
tracked everything and I kindof journaled my way back to
health.
I journaled my way throughstress as well.
When I started to see a pattern, I'm like, oh man, every time
I'm in this person's presence orevery time this person and I
have a conversation, I didn'teven realize I had worse sciatic
pain, like that whole next weekor that next day or what have
you, because I was making thatcomparison, I was finding my own
data.
So that's what I encouragepeople to do.
(22:08):
First step figure out whatwhere the anxiety is coming from
.
So my stress was coming fromtwo people.
My anxiety was coming because Icouldn't figure out why I was
sick.
But again, I had to map all ofthat out and I think one thing
that we can do is recognize thatand you guys heard this 5
million times because it's thebuzzword put on your own oxygen
mask first, you know, take careof yourself.
(22:31):
But I say it in a joking way.
Yet it is very serious becauseprior to this, I really did
think that people took care ofthemselves, were selfish, Like I
have a story that I clearlyremember sitting in the bridal
room at our church andeveryone's going around talking
about what they did forthemselves.
Like one woman went to themovies once a week by herself.
(22:52):
One woman went out to get hernails done, not just for her
nails, but just so she could getaway.
I'm like, oh my goodness,they're so selfish.
Is their house clean?
Are the kids being taken careof?
Like I'm going through all ofthat crazy me and yet they're
thriving.
So I had to flip that scriptand recognize the only way that
(23:12):
I could thrive is if I startedto put some self-care practices
in place.
So I also recommend that peopleunderstand what that looks like
to them.
Going to the movies every weekby myself I don't think that's.
For me, that's not self-care.
But sitting alone, quietlyreading a book, sitting out by
my pond, or just anything likethat.
To me that's self-care.
(23:33):
Other women it may be.
I need, you know, 10 of myfriends over and we just need to
go out to dinner and laugh,figure out what self-care really
is and then start to implementthat.
Maybe you can only do it onceper month, then maybe it's every
other week.
You will see that stress andanxiety that you have slowly
begin to release and slowlybegin to go away.
(23:55):
It was so crazy.
I'm like, oh, why did someonetell me this earlier?
Just by taking time to myself.
I'm like not all stressed outand anxious about everything.
Just by taking time to myself.
I'm like not all stressed outand anxious about everything,
because I have those momentswhere I can actually reflect on
what's important.
And as it related to stress, Ialso began having some bold
conversations, and I did themstrategically, so I didn't just
(24:18):
get in someone's face and sayyou're making me sick, you make
my sciatic hurt and giving me apain in the neck.
So what I did was understood.
I actually sat down like,dotted out where they are in
life, where I am, this is whatthey're going to probably say to
(24:39):
me.
That's going to hurt myfeelings.
So how am I going to respond?
And then, kind of I like playedthe role of both people
preparing for that conversation.
And then when I had theconversation it went both
conversations they went sosmoothly.
It's like it was totallydifferent than just immediately
going at someone.
So those those couple of thingsfor stress and anxiety, I have
(25:01):
seen them work for myself andfor others as well.
We we just first have torecognize where it's coming from
.
Michele Folan (25:07):
I love that idea of my thumbs really hurt.
So what is going on in my liferight now that is making my
thumbs hurt?
And actually that is a truething.
That happens to me when I getsuper stressed out.
I have arthritis in my thumbs.
It flares up and I know it.
(25:27):
Now I can identify those things, but you almost have to catalog
it, journal it and you maystart to see some patterns with
that.
So this is super great advice.
Stephanie, I love this.
You obviously are a menopausecoach, so how do you work with
(25:48):
clients?
Stephanie Shaw (25:48):
Yeah.
So clients can come to me andwe work together for six months
and we go through this four-stepprocess called Meno.
So we work on mindset what doesit really look like during this
time?
And how to get you preparedemotionally and physically for
the changes that are going totake place over the next six
months that we're together andhopefully over your lifetime.
(26:11):
Then we focus on exercise,because sometimes people will
over exercise during this timenot exercise at all, they'll do
cardio but not lift weights andtalking about why each part has
a place and how importantlifting weights is for women,
and then just start to buildreally small habits.
Our goal is not to run amarathon.
(26:32):
Our goal is to walk for 10minutes per day, you know,
initially, and then maybe we'readding a few minutes and then
maybe we're lifting two poundsand then perhaps we get up to 10
pounds.
So walking through all of thatand then educating women on why
it's important because peoplecan tell you to do things.
But if you don't reallyunderstand that, you know as you
age, if you fall, your chancesof survival over the first year
(26:53):
of falling is X.
Or if you're not buildingstrong, healthy bones and your
muscles aren't strong and you'renot flexible.
Xyz can happen, osteoporosisand so forth.
So education is really huge andwe talk about exercise.
Then nutrition, again, wetalked a little bit earlier
about people assuming that theyshould cut carbs or that they
(27:14):
need to fast, for you know, 20hours out of the day and so
forth.
Our body, all of our bodies aredifferent period, and our
bodies are different for us thanthey were when we were 20.
So, understanding where yourbody is now and what you can
handle.
So one of my clients, um, LeeAnn, actually she was doing that
(27:35):
little short one about eat sixhour, eat between six, you know,
I think it was noon and 6 PMand she was exercising like a
maniac, she was working out, shehad a trainer and so forth and
could not lose weight.
For over a year we did theopposite.
We worked on nutrition, had hereating a ton more food and then
pulled back on the exercise andin three weeks she lost seven
(27:57):
pounds.
She's like I don't know howthis happened.
I'm like cause you werefighting your body, so educating
people on that happen.
I'm like because you werefighting your body, so educating
people on that.
And then the last piece of thatminnow is optimization.
That is so important Because,again, we talked about how now
we are, this is our power mode.
We were wise.
We, you know, race.
A lot of us have raised children.
Sometimes we're helping raiseour children's children.
(28:19):
We, you know, gone throughdifferent relationships.
We had a bunch of bosses we hadto tolerate.
Like, how do you harness all ofthat knowledge and information
that you now have and thendecide what you're going to do
with it?
Are you going to change careers?
I had a client also that shewas like she went through.
(28:39):
We were working together, shehad an opportunity to retire
early and then she just said itjust feels right now, because I
have everything else in place, Ineed to.
Now that I have more energy andI've lost this weight, I need
to live the next part of my lifemore free and out of this
workplace.
So, optimizing what is going onright then and then deciding
(29:00):
what you want to do with thenext chapter, because the next
chapter is beautiful.
I'm so excited I'll be 55 thissummer.
Michele Folan (29:06):
I'm like you look terrific and I love your.
You said 60.
I'm like it's real, it's 60.
I know, I know, I know you talkabout making changes.
I resigned from my job recently.
(29:27):
Yeah, my last day was a weekago.
Oh, wow, congratulations, thankyou, and I'm I'm onto my next
little project and I haven'thaven't totally announced it yet
, but I just feel, much likeyour client does, that you know
(29:48):
I need this time for me and todo some things that are
important to me.
You know I've been working for42 years and it's time right and
you know it when it's time.
You know I may not have beenready to do this even two years
ago, but I think there's thiscalling and I, but we, we have
(30:10):
this confidence at this time oflife.
Yeah, and, and and that is,that's the beautiful gift that
we're given in in midlife.
Stephanie Shaw (30:22):
Is that confidence, to say that we're
given in midlife is thatconfidence to say you know what
I can do this, yeah, yeah.
And part of that optimizationis building that confidence
because while we have it, somewomen still don't.
There may not be confidence bywhat's inside and or what's
going on outside.
So helping build thatconfidence I'm happy you said
that that's all a part of thisas well.
(30:43):
Yeah, exciting.
Michele Folan (30:45):
I would love for you to share one of your pillars
of self-care like somethingthat you do that is important to
you and a non-negotiable yeah,spending time in the Word,
spending time reading my Bibleand praying and listening to
worship music, so likenon-negotiable.
Stephanie Shaw (31:06):
I don't care.
I mean, there's a few morningsI'll get up and I'll be like, oh
, I don't have time, but I willat least read a scripture, you
know, real quick, if I have toand those are very few, far
between.
If I do not start my day withGod, my day does not start right
.
And then I even beat myself up,which I know is not fair and
(31:27):
should not be done, because hehas tons of grace for us.
But I'm like, oh, I didn'tspend enough time or I need to
do this.
So throughout the day, if Ifeel like I haven't spent enough
time, there's worship musicblasting in the background,
blasting in my car.
That is a non-negotiable.
And I always talk about theexercise, the nutrition, the
(31:47):
self-care and so forth.
But and I talk about thenutrition that healed my body,
but at the very core of it, itwas that relationship and me
being able to study the bibleand go back to the word of God
and know what he says about myhealing and know that he knit me
together in my mother's womb.
That is really what is the coreof the reason why I know my
(32:10):
body was healed and I was ableto get some solutions early.
Michele Folan (32:13):
And it's that piece of gratitude.
Yes, that connection, thatspiritual connection that you
have, is also about gratitude.
Stephanie Shaw (32:24):
It really is yeah you're right, you had.
So I, when I was sick, duringthat whole time, I'm like, okay,
I, every once in a while I'mlike I need 60 seconds to
complain, and I would, and itwould make me laugh, cause it
was, you know, like setting upthe moment to complain.
But my thought process wasthrough that entire two years,
was like, oh, wow, you havesomething really good for me,
(32:48):
cause I'm like Job right now,like I'm not my skin wasn't
falling off, but I'm feelinglike Job right now.
So you must have somethingreally good in the end for me.
So, yeah, that you're the wayyou think about what you out.
No, that's what I say Thinkabout what you think about.
And if you put, even if you'regoing through a struggle right
(33:09):
now, you don't have theconfidence, you can't optimize
this time of year, you're,you're suffering with the hot
flashes and so forth.
Start to focus on all of thethings that you should be
grateful for, as you just said,michelle, and that completely
starts to shift your perspective.
It helps with the stress andanxiety as well.
Michele Folan (33:27):
Absolutely.
Stephanie Shaw, I would lovefor you to share where the
listeners can find your podcastand also your coaching.
Stephanie Shaw (33:35):
Yes, so if you go to my website
hellohotflashcom, you can findeverything.
There are a ton of freeresources on there.
You can get access to thepodcast and then you can learn a
little bit more about mycoaching.
Michele Folan (33:51):
Stephanie Shaw.
Thank you so much for beinghere today on Asking for a
Friend.
Thank you so much, Michelle.
Stephanie Shaw (33:58):
I appreciate you .
Michele Folan (34:02):
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