June 14, 2023 • 39 mins
We were saddened to learn about the passing of a former guest, Jaimie Sherling. In tribute to the beautiful soul she was, here is her original conversation from April of 2022.
We were deeply honored to have had a conversation with the inspiring Jaimie Sherling before discovering she had passed away from cancer in April of 2023. This is a remastered version of Jaimie's original episode, "The You Do You Conversation" in honor of Jaimie's beautiful soul and bright light she always managed to shine, even when she didn't feel so shiny on the inside.
At the time we sat down with Jaimie she had emerged as a survivor with an incredible story to tell. Through her journey, she created a clothing line called "You Do You Sweets" for women adapting to their new, post double mastectomy bodies and authored the book "From Queen's to Queen's" that captures her unique life experiences with resilience and wit.
We delved into Jamie's life post-double mastectomy, exploring her transition to a new body and the vital support she received from her network of friends, family, and the Madison, Wisconsin drag community. Jamie's creativity shone through as she discussed the conception and development of her clothing line, as well as the writing process for her book. Her strength and determination are a testament to the power of self-acceptance and overcoming adversity.
Lastly, we touched on Jamie's profound connection with the drag queen community and the love and acceptance they extended towards her. Performing as a backup dancer in drag shows and finding solace in the joyous atmosphere, Jamie's spirit remained unbroken. She was transparent in the difficulty dealing with the lows and embraced the highs, not matter what they were.
We encourage you to pick up her books for inspiration and in honor of the beautiful spirit and light that she was to everyone she met.
From Queens to Queens: How the Madison Drag Community Saved My Life
I'm Tough...and I Cry Alot
You Do You Sweets Clothing
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Helen (00:00):
Welcome to assorted conversations.
I'm Helen,
Maureen (00:03):
and I'm Maureen.
We wanted to tell you all thatwe'd spend some time checking
back in with our guests.
And as a result, when we goback and look to see how they're
doing, we find out what's goingon in their lives.
And we got the unfortunate newsthat one of our previous
guests, Jamie Schirling, haspassed away She was battling
(00:26):
cancer at the time we had aconversation with her.
We just wanna remember what anamazing person she was.
Helen (00:33):
Jamie was featured in our u do u conversation and what
drew Maureen and I to talking toJamie was she was a breast
cancer survivor.
And with no businessexperience, no fashion
experience, went out and starteda line of clothing for women
(00:53):
who had undergone doublemassectomies like she had, and
she called it you do you sweets.
That was initially what caughther attention.
But in that time, she'd alsowritten a book called from
Queen's to Queen's how theMadison, Wisconsin drag
community saved my life.
And she really wrote about thefirst part of her life and the
(01:17):
day we had our conversation withher, she was not having a good
day.
I think Maureen, she did sharewith us that the cancer had come
back and she was undergoingtreatments?
Maureen (01:29):
Yes, she did.
Helen (01:31):
And one of the things that she said she was down about
that day was the book she wrotehadn't become an Amazon number
one best seller.
And that was one of the goalsshe had set for herself.
She was turning away from herclothing business, really
focusing on the book because shefound it was a comfort.
(01:53):
It was uplifting.
She got great feedback from herfellow cancer warriors and
survivors.
As well as her loved ones.
Drew, the persistence of one ofher good friends, Dan, Jamie
ended up writing a second book.
And I got to vote on it.
I got to vote on my cover artbecause she posted it on
(02:15):
Instagram.
Jamie's second book I'm toughand I cry a lot did become an
Amazon best selling book.
Maureen (02:26):
What a wonderful thing?
Helen (02:28):
Yeah, Maureen, what do you remember about Jamie?
Maureen (02:32):
I remember about Jamie that despite the fact that she
was having a bad day when shespoke with us, just everybody
around her and who shesurrounded herself with in order
to get through what she had togo through.
She had friends and familymembers therapist, she really
(02:52):
reached out when she needed help.
And that's just a greatreminder to all of us that
whatever we're going through,reaching out for help is a good
thing.
Jaimie Sherling (03:02):
Mhmm.
Helen (03:04):
And and Jamie was a resource to others, especially,
you know, those who aresuffering with cancer like she
did.
Maureen (03:10):
Right.
Helen (03:11):
Her sarcasm, her sense of humor, her writing style, I
have both of her books fromQueen's to Queen's talks about
the beginning of her lifethrough her marriage and divorce
and finding solace in the dragcommunity and what an uplifting
(03:33):
portive group of folks that wasto her as she was struggling to
accept her new body, her newlife, I'm tough and I cry a lot
is just as pointed as as thefirst one.
So we highly recommend you jumpon Amazon grab one or both of
Jamie's books, we felt that afitting tribute to rerun her
(03:58):
original conversation withMaureen and I.
Our love goes out to herdaughter Avery, her son, Ben,
the rest of her immediate family.
And all of her friends who sheconsidered family.
Thank you, Jamie, for gracingour microphones your spirit and
and your bright light hasn'tdimmed.
(04:20):
Welcome to assortedconversations.
Maureen (04:37):
The podcast with everyday people sharing stories
of following their passions asthey pursue happiness So Helen,
we're back and we are startingto get into the groove of our
biweekly rhythm?
Oh, yeah.
Biweekly.
So tell me Helen, what canpeople do to help us make sure
(05:02):
we're visible to new listeners?
Helen (05:04):
Well, Maureen, glad you asked.
Leaving us a rating and areview wherever you download
your podcasts, but specificquickly on Apple Podcast, if
you're an Apple Podcastlistener, your ratings and
reviews help us becomediscoverable by other listeners
(05:25):
who may enjoy our content.
So we have received fantasticfeedback.
Please keep it coming.
If you haven't already left usa review or rated the podcast,
please do show it really helpsus out and we would appreciate
you sharing the podcast withjust one other person.
And that'll help us grow andcontinue to bring our guest
(05:49):
stories to you every other week.
Now.
So this week's guest, we had ablast talking to her.
If I were to title her, episodesomething different.
I would call it when life givesyou lemons, make lemonade and
add a splash of vodka.
Maureen (06:10):
Oh, my gosh.
Absolutely.
To see somebody face adversityand challenge and find their
passion through that.
It was amazing.
She is just taking life by thehorns, so excited to share her
with everybody.
Helen (06:29):
Yes.
Her story is fascinating.
And through her adversity, asas Maureen mentioned, she she
has found a way to channel herpassion into different
directions.
And there isn't anything thiswoman can't accomplish So she is
a cancer warrior.
(06:50):
She is an entrepreneur.
She is a clothing designer.
And her latest crowningachievement is she is a
published author.
And her book from Queen's toQueen's is available now on
Amazon or wherever you pick upyour books.
So take a listen to this week'sepisode and we'll see you on
(07:12):
the other side.
Today's guest, Jamie Sherling,has ridden the roller coaster of
life embracing the highs andleaning on loved ones to get
through the lows.
She's a mom, a dancer, anentrepreneur, and an author.
We are so happy to have Jamiewith us Welcome to assorted
(07:36):
conversations Jamie.
Jaimie Sherling (07:38):
Thank you so much, Helen.
Maureen (07:40):
It's so good to have you here.
It's great to meet you.
Jaimie Sherling (07:43):
Happy to be here.
Thank you, Maureen.
Helen (07:46):
You were diagnosed with breast cancer.
Correct?
Jaimie Sherling (07:49):
Yes.
Mhmm.
Helen (07:50):
And you had a double mastectomy.
Jaimie Sherling (07:56):
I had it in one breast, but the genetic testing
came back.
I tested positive for the Checktwo mutation and one, it's you
have higher incidences of othercancers, and one of them is
having cancer in your otherbreast was thirty percent.
I thought, no way.
Thirty percent.
I felt like I was just waiting.
I would just be waiting for it,not a maybe, but of when is
(08:16):
this going to happen.
So that's what made me decidethe double spectrum.
It was genetic testing.
Helen (08:23):
And after you have the double massectomy, I can't
imagine what that must feel like.
You've already you youmentioned the hair loss, but
then to not have your breasts.
Jaimie Sherling (08:38):
That thing is the hair was often harder than
breast, which probably doesn'tmake sense to a lot of people.
But I think for me, the hair isso visual to everybody.
Helen (08:50):
Right?
Mhmm.
Jaimie Sherling (08:50):
Whereas dresses, like, depending on what
you're wearing or buildingwhatever, it might not be
obvious with, like, the hairloss, especially when you when
you're in the thick of it andyour hair is really, really,
really gone and it's almost youget that look of, oh, you're
sick.
Like, they know you're sick.
Maureen (09:07):
Mhmm.
Right.
Jaimie Sherling (09:08):
For people aren't seeing what's underneath
my clothes necessarily.
So that's a differentperspective there.
But I mean, it was definitelydefinitely hard to reconcile of
like, oh, okay.
So this is my body now.
And showers the first few timeswere hard, and I didn't look
right away.
Some people do.
Some people don't.
I didn't.
I definitely kept kept bandageson for a bit.
(09:30):
And the other thing thatprobably helped that as well was
wearing prosthetics.
They did wear prosthetics inthe beginning.
Right.
Maureen (09:38):
And
Jaimie Sherling (09:38):
so I remember I hosted drag show benefit.
It was maybe six weeks after mysurgery.
And I wore prosthetics in thislittle kitty little purple
purple sequin dress because, ofcourse, and a friend saw me not
someone I know super duper duperwell.
And it said, oh, how you doing?
Or you got your surgery comingup?
(09:59):
I already did.
So it was like, she didn't know.
Helen (10:06):
Right.
She couldn't tell.
Jaimie Sherling (10:08):
She couldn't tell.
Helen (10:09):
Yeah.
Jaimie Sherling (10:09):
Correct.
She could not tell because so Ifelt like the prosthetics were
almost like a transition of,like, Yes.
This is your new body, but itcan kind of still seem like the
body you had.
Yeah.
Right.
Maureen (10:22):
Right.
That you're not gonna have todeal with other people's
reactions about the change.
Helen (10:27):
Yeah.
Correct.
Because, I mean, you are youwe're probably still processing
the change yourself.
It's kinda like you've got onefoot in the old body and maybe
one foot trying to accept andembrace the new body.
Jaimie Sherling (10:41):
I'd agree with that.
Mhmm.
Helen (10:43):
I know that the drag community was was a huge support
.
Did you seek out any othersupport for yourself?
Jaimie Sherling (10:52):
Not specifically.
I am in a number of closedFacebook groups, and I did
actually find one that's calledFantastic Flat Fashions.
And that one was specificallyor it's like, oh, you have this
new body, and let's let's talkabout clothing.
So I love that one.
A lot of people are posting.
I wear this and I wear that,and it's wonderful.
So I'm in a few groups that wayand I like that I feel like I
(11:16):
can say whatever I want.
Maureen (11:18):
Nothing is taboo.
Jaimie Sherling (11:19):
Exactly.
So I didn't necessarily seeksupport groups.
Now, I know a lot of peopledoing.
They're amazing, but for me, Iam very blessed to have a great
great group of friends.
So between, like, my closestclosest friends and then I had
this drag community where Icould just have fun and joy, And
I still work.
I work the whole time.
I'm lucky that I work fromhome, so I do have that.
(11:41):
That is a privilege.
I know that not everyone has.
So it's almost like for me, Ithink adding a support group
even though it would have helped.
It just it kind of would havebeen like, oh my gosh.
This is one more thing.
When would I go?
And then that's night?
And I have two teenagers andall the things.
Helen (11:55):
Yeah.
At what point after yourrecovery, did you see a need for
women who chose to not wearprosthetics and not have, you
know, breast surgery afterhaving the massectomy what
sparked you to say, we need aclothing line for flat chested
women.
Jaimie Sherling (12:16):
So isn't there a quote that something like
necessity is the mother ofinvention or something like
Maureen (12:22):
that.
Right?
Jaimie Sherling (12:23):
So there it was .
I used I used the prostheticsat the beginning, and I do think
that was for me a goodtransition time.
I think you got the one foot inthe door, all of those things.
And then I hit radiation.
So I had six weeks of radiationfive days a week.
Felt really good during, butafterward.
So I was glad I asked myradiation oncologist because I
(12:46):
was doing so well and she said,no.
No.
You're not gonna escape withoutanything.
So about ten days after Ifinish radiation, then my skin
was like on fire.
Right.
It was worse than the worstsunburn I ever got in Hawaii.
It was very, very awful andterrible.
Again, the privilege of workingfrom home.
I worked huge shirt and justwas slathering aloe and lotion
(13:08):
and aloe and lotion and it justbut it still felt like I was not
burst into flames.
So one day, I needed to go tothe store.
I don't even remember why.
And I thought, well, I'll justgo like this.
And I remember walking aroundthe store thinking, Well, this
is alright.
Like, I guess, either no onecares or I shouldn't have cared
at all in the first place.
(13:29):
And the world is an ending thatI'm out here without my
prosthetics on.
And then that turned into,well, maybe I don't wear them at
all anymore because Most bereal.
How many women love wearingbras?
Like, come on.
Like, if you don't have to wearthem, do you want to?
Maybe not.
So and mine were it was prettyheavy.
(13:51):
Like, the inserts I had wereheavy and it was tight and worse
.
So not super comfortable.
And then I started trying on myown clothes, and the number of
them just didn't for me, didn'tlook right.
Right.
And it was interesting becauseI just got into a discussion
about this, and I grew wherepeople are like, well, why do
you try to hide your scars?
And it's a a form like, itshows your bravery and your
(14:12):
strength or whatever, and Itotally get that, and that's
awesome.
But for me, Like, especiallylike a v neck is gonna hit lower
because you don't have breastsholding them up.
Yeah.
And for me, I felt like It's mystory to tell.
I don't wanna walk around andeveryone, like, somewhat
stranger on the street know thisabout me.
Like, have this access to myinformation so to speak.
(14:35):
Right.
So it wasn't, like, I washiding it necessarily even like
kind of was, but Again,everybody is different, and
everybody does somethingdifferent, and you have to do
it's best for you.
But for me, a lot of theclothes didn't work.
And did some searches on theInternet, and I thought, well,
is there a line?
There wasn't one.
No clothing line.
I thought, oh, Well, maybe Ican do this.
(14:57):
And that was how it started.
And because what not a personwho doesn't know how to sew or
ever worked in the fashionindustry, of course, that person
should start a clothing line.
Helen (15:07):
You had no background in this.
Right?
Jaimie Sherling (15:09):
Oh, zero.
Mm-mm.
Not at all.
I learned a lot.
I just started meeting people,and I can't remember the order.
I felt like maybe I met someoneat a local, like technical
college, And then I met somepeople who were clothing
designers locally, and it wasjust one person after another.
I'd have conversations.
I'd learned something new andthen go from there.
(15:30):
And one of the things that Iwas guided to know was that it
didn't matter if I learned at aso apparently and I don't know
any names, but apparentlythere's some well known
designers who also don't knowhow to sew.
I thought, oh, okay.
So though the guidance was youdon't need to know how to sew,
you can still be a designer.
And I thought, well, I know Icould talk someone through well
(15:50):
even if I saw an article.
Well, change this and changethis, and can you do this, and
can you do that?
I don't know how to do it, butyou do it, and my idea.
So I'm the designer.
Helen (15:59):
How did you start with your prototypes?
Jaimie Sherling (16:03):
So I first I first put a poll in one of those
closed online groups?
Just the idea of, if I didthis, what do you think?
And the response was extremelypositive?
So I thought, oh, okay.
I guess there's a need.
And from there, I saw a patternat, well, I should say, my
teenagers saw it first.
Saw a pattern at a garage salein the neighborhood and whole
(16:27):
stack, old patterns, and one ofthem I thought, oh, I like this,
but I would change it to thisand this and this and that's
what became the prototype.
So I worked with one of my dearfriends and friends for a long
time, Heather.
And Heather, she knows how tosew very, very well.
And so she helped she made theprototype, and then I worked
with I found a pattern maker whothen could make the pattern
(16:48):
from the prototype so then itcould be reproduced.
Maureen (16:52):
You know what I loved was that your teenager found
something and immediatelythought, Mom, this this could
work for you.
Jaimie Sherling (17:00):
No.
I will I don't.
I realized I didn't tell thestory that way.
So my teenager does know how tosew.
So the teenager is, like, wegotta work together if you
didn't have to go to high school.
Come on.
Well, that off.
So Yes.
My teenager does know how tosew.
I don't.
This is the teenager found thewhole stack of patterns.
(17:20):
For themselves.
And then I was going to thinkGerman, that's how it happened.
So I asked him an importantpart of the story I didn't
mention.
Maureen (17:28):
Nice way to obscure with one of their patterns.
Good job.
Jaimie Sherling (17:30):
Exactly.
I'm like, very much.
Maureen (17:35):
Do you also sell the patterns?
Jaimie Sherling (17:38):
I am planning on that now.
So I'm not closing the clothingline.
It still exists, but I'mwanting to focus more on the
book.
That's just my choice right now.
And I did have people reach outabout the patterns early on and
originally I said, no way.
Like, the business will close,but now I feel like I would love
to sell all the inventory Ihave because I have pieces that
(18:00):
are already made.
So I would love to sell those,but then, yes, I am now open to
selling the patterns and I havetags and My thought is I could
ask them to put the tags on it.
If they tell people about it,they could tell the clothing
line.
And if they don't, Okay.
Helen (18:16):
So what is the clothing line?
Jaimie Sherling (18:18):
It is called YDI suites.
Why do y stands for you?
Do you?
Awesome.
Helen (18:26):
How long did it take you to get your your business off
the ground.
Jaimie Sherling (18:32):
I think I started those conversations in
spring of twenty nineteen.
Like, that's when I reallystarted to think, oh, maybe I'll
do this.
I'm not sure.
Start meeting with people allthe things.
And then I was ready to launch,oh, March of twenty twenty, and
March seventh, I had a photoshoot.
I had a photo shoot in mypiece, like like like the
(18:55):
standard piece, look beautiful,hair, makeup, the works, all the
things.
And then March sixteenth waswhen.
So I thought, okay, I'm notlaunching this now.
So I waited until untilSeptember of twenty twenty.
And that was just a waitbecause, I mean, I was ready to
(19:16):
go the whole time, but I feltlike people are barely leaving
in their homes, everyone's inyoga pants.
Like, this is not the time.
So But then finally, bySeptember, I thought,
Helen (19:27):
okay.
Jaimie Sherling (19:27):
Well, some people are going back to work,
and some people just wanna dressup because they wanna dress up,
so whatever.
So I'm not waiting anymore.
Helen (19:34):
And and what what kind of pieces do you have in your line
?
Jaimie Sherling (19:38):
They're all taps, so there's a tunic.
There is a sleeveless tunic andthen a short sleeve tunic and
then there's a long sleeve tab.
Maureen (19:45):
It's so nice to have something that is made
specifically for your needs.
Yeah.
Jaimie Sherling (19:50):
That's what I thought too.
Maureen (19:52):
You have quite the story, and I wanna know how you
got to the point where you said,I need to write a book about
this.
Jaimie Sherling (20:02):
So I didn't make that decision for a while.
So I actually startedscribbling some notes in
September of twenty nineteen.
Just at a time that there was alot of resolution of certain
things in my life and just Idon't know that cathartic
experience.
And I think I had in the wayback of my mind that it might be
(20:23):
a book, but I really wasn'tsure.
So it was just the beginningsof it.
Right.
And then the pandemic kept end.
And in the spring of twentytwenty, I was not coping well.
Some days, coping better thanothers.
And someone who is a verysocial person, high high high
(20:44):
extrovert.
I have two teenagers that arewith me half time.
So every other week, I wascompletely alone.
Maureen (20:51):
Right.
Jaimie Sherling (20:52):
That just did not work for me.
So Like I said, I did somecoping, not so great, whatever,
cried a lot, all the things.
And then at some point, I don'teven know when.
But April ish, maybe May, Ithought, fine.
I guess I'll just write thisbook.
I can't do anything else.
And that's when I wrote thebulk of it.
(21:13):
Was that late spring earlysummer?
I just wrote and wrote andwrote and wrote when I couldn't
see my friends or really go outanywhere I wanted to go because
we were pretty shut down.
Right.
Helen (21:23):
Right.
Now your book was published inSeptember of twenty twenty one.
Correct.
From Queen's to Queen's, howthe Madison Drag community saved
my life.
Tell me a little bit about whatsparked you to get moving and
(21:45):
go all the way back to to thebeginning, growing up in New
York.
Jaimie Sherling (21:51):
Well, I liked I don't even know when I came up
with the idea, but New York issuch an important place in my
life, and I lived so the titleis play on words because I lived
the first seven years of mylife in Queen's New York.
So I think I just had that wordplay in mind and thought, oh,
from queens, the actual Blazequeens, to these queens.
And I was like, see, this wasmy destiny all along.
(22:13):
And once and I came up with thetitle fairly early on and it
never changed.
So I was happy that it's stuck,and I would tell people, and
either I'd get the reaction ofkinda like, good job.
Or my friends are in thecommunity who the book was
basically about, would say, So Icouldn't change.
(22:35):
I was like, that's it.
That's the title.
So I wanted to give a biggerperspective, and I definitely I
didn't talk too much, at least Idon't think I did, about my
early life, but it was that, youknow a little bit about me, to
then know a lot more about me.
Helen (22:50):
Right.
Right.
Maureen (22:53):
What was it that caused drag queens to save your life?
Jaimie Sherling (22:59):
Well, how do I begin?
So I'll just explain how I getconnected to this community
because it's not a usual way.
So I have heard many peopletell their stories.
They go to a drag show.
That's that.
For me, I was in a in a musicalwith my friend, Josh.
Josh is the choreographer.
We became friends throughoutthat musical season.
(23:20):
And then after the season wasover, Josh asked if I would be a
backup dancer for Beverly B ina drag show pigeon.
At that time of my life, I hadnever seen a drag show I had
never seen an episode of RepulseDrag Race.
I knew what Drag Wars, but Ihad no personal exposure to it
at all.
Of course, I said yes.
I mean, how could I possiblysay no?
(23:43):
So I met so the first queen Iknew I knew it was my friend,
Josh.
And then I showed up to thisrehearsal space, which happens
to be, Five Night Club, which isa place that I love to go see
Drag.
And I was there on a Saturdayafternoon, walked in, it's, you
know, the lights are on, themusic isn't going.
It doesn't really seem like aclub.
And then I met three otherpeople, Michael Dan and Jacob,
(24:07):
who I found out later alsoperformed in drag.
But again, I met them asthey're male presenting
themselves.
So I have a unique experiencethat I met them, got to be
friends with them.
So it's almost like, oh, theseare my friends, and this is that
activity they do when I gowatch it.
And support them
Helen (24:23):
--
Jaimie Sherling (24:23):
Right.
Helen (24:23):
--
Jaimie Sherling (24:24):
as opposed to I'm gonna go to a drag show.
So that's I know a differentexperience than a lot of people.
Maureen (24:29):
So you actually performed within the show.
Jaimie Sherling (24:32):
I did.
I realized I was counting justthe other day.
I think I've been a backupdancer four times now.
It's two for pageants, and Ithink two for my friend.
Sprint Adam who is apediatrician and their drag name
is electrolyte, which I thinkis one of the greatest drag
things ever.
And I had a cancer diagnosis.
(24:53):
I had some other not so greatthings happening in my life.
Along rolled right along withthat.
And going to see shows, it wasjust this place of joy and
happiness and love andacceptance and when I was not
feeling like, I was looking sogreat and I did not like not
(25:15):
having hair that was one of thethings I didn't like the movies.
So not having hair, not havingbreasts, and there I go going to
these shows and Hey, gorgeous.
Oh, hey, fabulous.
You look great.
And just showering.
I'm like, okay.
Keep talking.
Keep talking.
How does that not feel good?
(25:35):
It does.
Maureen (25:36):
You just need to surround yourself with those
people.
Those people are the best.
Jaimie Sherling (25:40):
Exactly.
They just allowed me to be meand accepted me for who I was.
I think in some ways it was anescape because I just there were
times I just did not want to behome with a certain person.
So I needed to leave that spaceand go to this space of joy and
love and just being thereconsistently that I could go
(26:02):
week after week after week.
And there were times I well,many, many times I would be
driving to five, and I'd be thisnot not hysterically crying, I
guess.
I was safe enough to drive, butdefinitely the tears flowing
down my face.
And I pulled into the parkinglot, and I parked, and I say,
Alright.
Can't cry at a drag show, and Ifight my face off when I go and
(26:22):
die.
Maureen (26:24):
I find that the people who most look for acceptance are
able to give it withouthesitation, and that community
does it beautifully.
Jaimie Sherling (26:34):
I agree with that completely.
Maureen (26:35):
Mhmm.
Jaimie Sherling (26:35):
Mhmm.
They know what it's like to beexcluded to be ignored but not
be accepted for who they are.
Maureen (26:44):
What a wonderful support system to have?
Jaimie Sherling (26:48):
Completely agree with you.
I'm so glad.
Helen (26:50):
Jamie, in your book, you have it divided into, like, two
major sections.
The first one is pretty.
And then the second section isknow your worth.
Talk to me a little bit aboutwhy you broke your book up that
way.
Jaimie Sherling (27:11):
I felt like it was just a good before and
after, so someone calling mepretty in an unexpected time and
way.
And then kind of hearing thatenough and hearing that enough,
but you're maybe not believingit.
And then you turn that cornerof you start believing it
yourself.
And you're worth one of myfavorite Queen's chaos, who it
(27:31):
was actually Jacob who I met.
One of the backup dancers,talked so often about know your
words, know your words, knowyour words, thinking.
Oh, maybe this is actuallysticking, finally.
I'm just getting more and moreused to the idea of, like, I'm a
lot and either you're here forit or you're not.
And if you're not, Oh, well.
(27:52):
Okay.
And that's different.
I was not that person fouryears ago.
Definitely not.
I know that I am not the sameperson I was.
Helen (28:01):
Know when you're worth.
Exactly.
Jaimie Sherling (28:04):
No.
I heard another one.
Know your worth and add tax.
Maureen (28:10):
I love it.
Can I just tell you withinterest?
Jaimie Sherling (28:14):
Exactly.
Yeah.
Who cares about?
So in December of twenty whatwould it be?
Twenty twenty?
Yeah.
December of twenty twenty.
I was very close to making thedecision not to publish.
Helen (28:30):
Really -- Mhmm.
--
Jaimie Sherling (28:32):
that would have just sat on a flash drive
because I thought, oh, this isso embarrassing now to say it
after the fact, but I wasnervous that I was too mean to a
certain someone in the book.
Maureen (28:46):
Right.
That you were brutally honest?
Jaimie Sherling (28:49):
Yeah.
Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
I didn't really pull anypunches.
So I was nervous.
Both just thinking about thatperson, but then also thinking
of family and I was nervous.
Like, are people gonna comeafter me?
And, surprisingly, no one has?
I mean Right.
But is it still coming?
(29:12):
I don't know.
I would I actually worked withmy therapist on it and had more
than one session of, like, ifpeople say these terrible awful
things or if they say this orthey say that, what am I gonna
do?
And, like, so I got myself verymentally prepared.
For those worst case scenarios,but none yet.
Maureen (29:32):
You know what?
I love that you are so honestabout the fact that there's a
lot of trepidation in followingyour passion.
It can cause a lot of worry andanxiety about Am I doing the
right thing?
Is it gonna be successful?
All of those things that youwant for it to work?
I'm feeling a little anxiousabout
Jaimie Sherling (29:51):
it.
Mhmm.
For sure.
I definitely asked they werekind of a small group of people,
so Corshatch my best friend.
Oh, but then I talked to alawyer because I had a lawyer
who's a friend of mine aboutwhat I was saying and could I
get in trouble and things likethat?
So I got some advice there,which is great.
(30:12):
And then the more atypical oneis that my therapist read the
book, which is amazing.
Like and I asked her and Isaid, I know this is not part of
your job description, but,like, please, would you mind?
From a mental healthperspective thinking if she read
it and thought, whoa.
Yeah.
You should not publish this.
This is terrible idea.
(30:32):
I might have listened to her,and she said the exact opposite
was Well, she said, before sheeven read it, she said, I don't
even have to read it.
You should do it.
I'm just gonna tell you youshould do it no matter what, but
I will.
And she read it and she wrotesomething very nice to me in an
email about how much she enjoyedit and how wonderful it was and
all of that.
But I did wanna take her Idon't know that I would have
(30:57):
turned, you know, turned adifferent corner, but I at least
wanted to hear her thoughts.
Maureen (31:03):
Right.
Well, and because she was thereto look out for your best
interest.
Right.
Jaimie Sherling (31:07):
When we had had a longstanding working
relationship, you know, by thattime, we had already been I'd
been seeing her in sessions forover a year.
And so I felt like, you knowme, you know who I am, you know,
a lot about my mental health.
And again, you're looking outfor me.
So I asked and she was kindenough to oblige.
Here is a funny thing aboutwhen my book came out just the
(31:30):
way things happened.
I pushed and pushed and pushedthat I had a launch date.
So September eighteenth, Ipicked that date, and I never
publicized it, but I don't mindsaying it here.
I picked that date because it'smy brother's birthday, my
brother who passed away fromcancer almost ten years ago.
And so I knew it was gonna bejust in September, so I thought
Yeah.
For, like, it was just for methat I wanted it to be that day.
Maureen (31:53):
What a nice tribute to your brother in his memory to
want it on his birthday?
Jaimie Sherling (31:59):
Yeah.
Me special.
So launch day, the book isavailable for purchase online.
And people are texting me andmessaging me and my social media
was blowing up.
But I wanted to get the book ina slightly different way where
it was gonna be a lot cheaper.
So I didn't have a physicalcopy of my book for maybe two
(32:20):
weeks.
So people are sending mepictures and they're sending me
their screenshots.
I believe you didn't exist, butI still don't have a copy.
Maureen (32:29):
Right.
Everybody else would it.
But the art
Jaimie Sherling (32:32):
people holding my book, but I wasn't holding my
book.
Maureen (32:36):
We might wanna put out a call to Reese Witherspoon.
Jaimie Sherling (32:39):
Oh, yeah.
Maureen (32:40):
Per earlier conversation when Helen wasn't
there.
Helen (32:43):
Oh.
What did I miss?
Jaimie Sherling (32:45):
So I was saying, this is me being very
vulnerable, but that's what I do.
Why not?
I had a moment where I wasreally sad about not being on
the best seller list and all thethings.
And then I was saying, Man, ifsomebody could just pass my book
on to Reese Witherspoon, Ireally appreciate it.
Maureen (33:04):
She would play the part perfectly.
Don't you think Helen?
Jaimie Sherling (33:07):
Yeah.
That would be amazing.
I do think this book could beso visually appealing.
There's so much room for somuch.
Just if nothing else, all thedrag.
Drag is so exciting.
Maureen (33:20):
Yeah.
Where can people get your book,Jamie?
Jaimie Sherling (33:24):
You can find my book in a couple different
places.
One, the easy one, as far asjust people being able to type
and search, is Amazon.
So it is available on Amazon.
Then if you go to YDIY Suite,stuck on my website, you can
find different ways to get it.
Like, if someone happened to belistening to this and they were
local to me, they could go oneof those local books stores,
which I would love.
Maureen (33:44):
Oh, wonderful.
Yeah.
I love when we can supportlocal book sellers.
Jaimie Sherling (33:49):
Me too.
Bookstores are special.
Maureen (33:52):
So what is it that you would like to do as you move
forward with your book?
Jaimie Sherling (33:59):
And the dream because and this wasn't even my
idea.
This just came to me because afriend reached out to me and
said, this person was justdiagnosed and I wanna buy the
book for her.
And I had some in stack, and Iwrote a note on behalf of myself
and the other person.
So they knew it was a gift andsigned it.
(34:19):
I'm thinking, what if this wasgifted?
They have since connected withthat person who was gifted the
book.
She found me on social media,reached out, and then explained.
This do I am and thank you somuch and I'm reading the book
and and just being that supportperson.
And that's the one step furtherbecause it's not just about I
(34:40):
want you to read my book, but ifit brings you joy, if it brings
you comfort, if we connect andthen I can be another support
person for you, great.
Maureen (34:51):
When you think about your kids and all that you've
gone through, what do you hopethat they get from the
experiences you've had?
Jaimie Sherling (35:00):
That's a great question.
I hope they know that ifthey're going through something
hard, to take it one day at atime and not fall into despair.
I will say not to fall intodespair too far because I do
think there's a time for beingsad and if you're going through
something hard and you needtheir day, maybe days that you
(35:25):
can't get up, that's okay, andI'm not gonna judge someone for
that.
But hopefully, they would comearound and whether it's leaning
on the people close them.
Whatever they need to do tokind of pull themselves or have
someone help them pullthemselves out of it and keep on
keeping on.
Maureen (35:45):
Yeah.
To be a role model like thatfor your kids is a pretty
impressive thing.
Jaimie Sherling (35:50):
Well, who knows if they listen to me anymore?
That's the thing.
Maureen (35:54):
Oh, they're just teenagers now.
Monkeys thirty one.
Trust me.
They listen.
Okay.
Jaimie Sherling (35:58):
They listen when you least expect it.
Helen (36:00):
Right.
They'll show you that they werelistening.
That never while it'shappening, it'll it'll be years
later.
Jaimie Sherling (36:08):
You're hearing quote and think are you quoting
me?
Maureen (36:10):
Yeah.
Jaimie Sherling (36:10):
That's what I said.
Wait a minute.
Helen (36:13):
Jamie, this has been awesome.
I I can't thank you enough fortaking the time.
I can't thank you enough forfor writing your memoir.
Jaimie Sherling (36:21):
Mhmm.
Thank you for that, Helen.
That's really I really, reallyappreciate that.
I needed to hear that today.
Helen (36:27):
More people need to read this because there's a lot of
good lessons in here.
Thank you.
So Maureen, what did you getout of this week's conversation
with Jamie?
Maureen (36:45):
Well, she was just an amazing person to get to talk to
.
Helen (36:49):
Yes.
Maureen (36:49):
And all the things that she's faced and that she had a
community of people to supporther and to enrich her while she
was struggling.
Jaimie Sherling (37:01):
Mhmm.
Maureen (37:02):
It's just a constant reminder to me that you don't
need to struggle alone.
Helen (37:06):
Right.
Maureen (37:07):
The other thing that was really important for me was
seeing that she was a realbeacon for other people who
faced adversity.
Helen (37:16):
Right.
Maureen (37:18):
And just finding someone like her when you are
challenged, somebody who's gonethrough it can be so helpful in
knowing that.
Again, you're not alone.
Helen (37:28):
Right?
I really loved how the book hasbecome probably the most
important thing for her.
And what she is truly startingto get out of out of it as, you
know, the book gets wider andand wider distributed.
Is that she's really helpingothers by sharing her tough
(37:51):
experiences.
Maureen (37:52):
Right.
Helen (37:53):
And you don't have to have gone through cancer or a
divorce or any of the othersituations she's gone through,
but you can actually pick awayand see some of the cornerstone
pieces that helped her pickherself up and continue moving
on and that could be aninspiration to anybody.
Maureen (38:14):
It's amazing.
To have that experience and toturn it into something that is
just absolutely golden.
Helen (38:21):
Yeah.
She is she is a trueinspiration.
And she was such a breath offresh air to talk to.
Absolutely.
So if you're interested inlearning more about Jamie's
journey, her books, her clothingline.
Jump down to our show notes.
We have links to everythingJamie related.
And, Maureen, any parting wordsfor this week?
Maureen (38:47):
Oh, power through people.
Life is full of challenges, butyou've got this.
Helen (38:53):
Thanks for listening, and we'll see you in two weeks.
If you've liked what you'veheard, please subscribe and
share with your friends andfamily.
Maureen (39:08):
Rate and review us wherever you download your
podcast.
Helen (39:12):
Become part of the assorted conversations community
on Facebook, the place forlisteners to connect, share, and
support each other as we allpursue what makes us happy.
Maureen (39:22):
And don't forget to follow us on Twitter and
Instagram.
All links to our social mediaaccounts are in the episode
description.
Helen (39:29):
Thanks for joining us.
And until next week,
Maureen (39:32):
be bold,
Helen (39:33):
be blind, and pursue your passions.
Welcome to assorted conversations.
I'm Helen,
Maureen (00:03):
and I'm Maureen.
We wanted to tell you all thatwe'd spend some time checking
back in with our guests.
And as a result, when we goback and look to see how they're
doing, we find out what's goingon in their lives.
And we got the unfortunate newsthat one of our previous
guests, Jamie Schirling, haspassed away She was battling
(00:26):
cancer at the time we had aconversation with her.
We just wanna remember what anamazing person she was.
Helen (00:33):
Jamie was featured in our u do u conversation and what
drew Maureen and I to talking toJamie was she was a breast
cancer survivor.
And with no businessexperience, no fashion
experience, went out and starteda line of clothing for women
(00:53):
who had undergone doublemassectomies like she had, and
she called it you do you sweets.
That was initially what caughther attention.
But in that time, she'd alsowritten a book called from
Queen's to Queen's how theMadison, Wisconsin drag
community saved my life.
And she really wrote about thefirst part of her life and the
(01:17):
day we had our conversation withher, she was not having a good
day.
I think Maureen, she did sharewith us that the cancer had come
back and she was undergoingtreatments?
Maureen (01:29):
Yes, she did.
Helen (01:31):
And one of the things that she said she was down about
that day was the book she wrotehadn't become an Amazon number
one best seller.
And that was one of the goalsshe had set for herself.
She was turning away from herclothing business, really
focusing on the book because shefound it was a comfort.
(01:53):
It was uplifting.
She got great feedback from herfellow cancer warriors and
survivors.
As well as her loved ones.
Drew, the persistence of one ofher good friends, Dan, Jamie
ended up writing a second book.
And I got to vote on it.
I got to vote on my cover artbecause she posted it on
(02:15):
Instagram.
Jamie's second book I'm toughand I cry a lot did become an
Amazon best selling book.
Maureen (02:26):
What a wonderful thing?
Helen (02:28):
Yeah, Maureen, what do you remember about Jamie?
Maureen (02:32):
I remember about Jamie that despite the fact that she
was having a bad day when shespoke with us, just everybody
around her and who shesurrounded herself with in order
to get through what she had togo through.
She had friends and familymembers therapist, she really
(02:52):
reached out when she needed help.
And that's just a greatreminder to all of us that
whatever we're going through,reaching out for help is a good
thing.
Jaimie Sherling (03:02):
Mhmm.
Helen (03:04):
And and Jamie was a resource to others, especially,
you know, those who aresuffering with cancer like she
did.
Maureen (03:10):
Right.
Helen (03:11):
Her sarcasm, her sense of humor, her writing style, I
have both of her books fromQueen's to Queen's talks about
the beginning of her lifethrough her marriage and divorce
and finding solace in the dragcommunity and what an uplifting
(03:33):
portive group of folks that wasto her as she was struggling to
accept her new body, her newlife, I'm tough and I cry a lot
is just as pointed as as thefirst one.
So we highly recommend you jumpon Amazon grab one or both of
Jamie's books, we felt that afitting tribute to rerun her
(03:58):
original conversation withMaureen and I.
Our love goes out to herdaughter Avery, her son, Ben,
the rest of her immediate family.
And all of her friends who sheconsidered family.
Thank you, Jamie, for gracingour microphones your spirit and
and your bright light hasn'tdimmed.
(04:20):
Welcome to assortedconversations.
Maureen (04:37):
The podcast with everyday people sharing stories
of following their passions asthey pursue happiness So Helen,
we're back and we are startingto get into the groove of our
biweekly rhythm?
Oh, yeah.
Biweekly.
So tell me Helen, what canpeople do to help us make sure
(05:02):
we're visible to new listeners?
Helen (05:04):
Well, Maureen, glad you asked.
Leaving us a rating and areview wherever you download
your podcasts, but specificquickly on Apple Podcast, if
you're an Apple Podcastlistener, your ratings and
reviews help us becomediscoverable by other listeners
(05:25):
who may enjoy our content.
So we have received fantasticfeedback.
Please keep it coming.
If you haven't already left usa review or rated the podcast,
please do show it really helpsus out and we would appreciate
you sharing the podcast withjust one other person.
And that'll help us grow andcontinue to bring our guest
(05:49):
stories to you every other week.
Now.
So this week's guest, we had ablast talking to her.
If I were to title her, episodesomething different.
I would call it when life givesyou lemons, make lemonade and
add a splash of vodka.
Maureen (06:10):
Oh, my gosh.
Absolutely.
To see somebody face adversityand challenge and find their
passion through that.
It was amazing.
She is just taking life by thehorns, so excited to share her
with everybody.
Helen (06:29):
Yes.
Her story is fascinating.
And through her adversity, asas Maureen mentioned, she she
has found a way to channel herpassion into different
directions.
And there isn't anything thiswoman can't accomplish So she is
a cancer warrior.
(06:50):
She is an entrepreneur.
She is a clothing designer.
And her latest crowningachievement is she is a
published author.
And her book from Queen's toQueen's is available now on
Amazon or wherever you pick upyour books.
So take a listen to this week'sepisode and we'll see you on
(07:12):
the other side.
Today's guest, Jamie Sherling,has ridden the roller coaster of
life embracing the highs andleaning on loved ones to get
through the lows.
She's a mom, a dancer, anentrepreneur, and an author.
We are so happy to have Jamiewith us Welcome to assorted
(07:36):
conversations Jamie.
Jaimie Sherling (07:38):
Thank you so much, Helen.
Maureen (07:40):
It's so good to have you here.
It's great to meet you.
Jaimie Sherling (07:43):
Happy to be here.
Thank you, Maureen.
Helen (07:46):
You were diagnosed with breast cancer.
Correct?
Jaimie Sherling (07:49):
Yes.
Mhmm.
Helen (07:50):
And you had a double mastectomy.
Jaimie Sherling (07:56):
I had it in one breast, but the genetic testing
came back.
I tested positive for the Checktwo mutation and one, it's you
have higher incidences of othercancers, and one of them is
having cancer in your otherbreast was thirty percent.
I thought, no way.
Thirty percent.
I felt like I was just waiting.
I would just be waiting for it,not a maybe, but of when is
(08:16):
this going to happen.
So that's what made me decidethe double spectrum.
It was genetic testing.
Helen (08:23):
And after you have the double massectomy, I can't
imagine what that must feel like.
You've already you youmentioned the hair loss, but
then to not have your breasts.
Jaimie Sherling (08:38):
That thing is the hair was often harder than
breast, which probably doesn'tmake sense to a lot of people.
But I think for me, the hair isso visual to everybody.
Helen (08:50):
Right?
Mhmm.
Jaimie Sherling (08:50):
Whereas dresses, like, depending on what
you're wearing or buildingwhatever, it might not be
obvious with, like, the hairloss, especially when you when
you're in the thick of it andyour hair is really, really,
really gone and it's almost youget that look of, oh, you're
sick.
Like, they know you're sick.
Maureen (09:07):
Mhmm.
Right.
Jaimie Sherling (09:08):
For people aren't seeing what's underneath
my clothes necessarily.
So that's a differentperspective there.
But I mean, it was definitelydefinitely hard to reconcile of
like, oh, okay.
So this is my body now.
And showers the first few timeswere hard, and I didn't look
right away.
Some people do.
Some people don't.
I didn't.
I definitely kept kept bandageson for a bit.
(09:30):
And the other thing thatprobably helped that as well was
wearing prosthetics.
They did wear prosthetics inthe beginning.
Right.
Maureen (09:38):
And
Jaimie Sherling (09:38):
so I remember I hosted drag show benefit.
It was maybe six weeks after mysurgery.
And I wore prosthetics in thislittle kitty little purple
purple sequin dress because, ofcourse, and a friend saw me not
someone I know super duper duperwell.
And it said, oh, how you doing?
Or you got your surgery comingup?
(09:59):
I already did.
So it was like, she didn't know.
Helen (10:06):
Right.
She couldn't tell.
Jaimie Sherling (10:08):
She couldn't tell.
Helen (10:09):
Yeah.
Jaimie Sherling (10:09):
Correct.
She could not tell because so Ifelt like the prosthetics were
almost like a transition of,like, Yes.
This is your new body, but itcan kind of still seem like the
body you had.
Yeah.
Right.
Maureen (10:22):
Right.
That you're not gonna have todeal with other people's
reactions about the change.
Helen (10:27):
Yeah.
Correct.
Because, I mean, you are youwe're probably still processing
the change yourself.
It's kinda like you've got onefoot in the old body and maybe
one foot trying to accept andembrace the new body.
Jaimie Sherling (10:41):
I'd agree with that.
Mhmm.
Helen (10:43):
I know that the drag community was was a huge support
.
Did you seek out any othersupport for yourself?
Jaimie Sherling (10:52):
Not specifically.
I am in a number of closedFacebook groups, and I did
actually find one that's calledFantastic Flat Fashions.
And that one was specificallyor it's like, oh, you have this
new body, and let's let's talkabout clothing.
So I love that one.
A lot of people are posting.
I wear this and I wear that,and it's wonderful.
So I'm in a few groups that wayand I like that I feel like I
(11:16):
can say whatever I want.
Maureen (11:18):
Nothing is taboo.
Jaimie Sherling (11:19):
Exactly.
So I didn't necessarily seeksupport groups.
Now, I know a lot of peopledoing.
They're amazing, but for me, Iam very blessed to have a great
great group of friends.
So between, like, my closestclosest friends and then I had
this drag community where Icould just have fun and joy, And
I still work.
I work the whole time.
I'm lucky that I work fromhome, so I do have that.
(11:41):
That is a privilege.
I know that not everyone has.
So it's almost like for me, Ithink adding a support group
even though it would have helped.
It just it kind of would havebeen like, oh my gosh.
This is one more thing.
When would I go?
And then that's night?
And I have two teenagers andall the things.
Helen (11:55):
Yeah.
At what point after yourrecovery, did you see a need for
women who chose to not wearprosthetics and not have, you
know, breast surgery afterhaving the massectomy what
sparked you to say, we need aclothing line for flat chested
women.
Jaimie Sherling (12:16):
So isn't there a quote that something like
necessity is the mother ofinvention or something like
Maureen (12:22):
that.
Right?
Jaimie Sherling (12:23):
So there it was .
I used I used the prostheticsat the beginning, and I do think
that was for me a goodtransition time.
I think you got the one foot inthe door, all of those things.
And then I hit radiation.
So I had six weeks of radiationfive days a week.
Felt really good during, butafterward.
So I was glad I asked myradiation oncologist because I
(12:46):
was doing so well and she said,no.
No.
You're not gonna escape withoutanything.
So about ten days after Ifinish radiation, then my skin
was like on fire.
Right.
It was worse than the worstsunburn I ever got in Hawaii.
It was very, very awful andterrible.
Again, the privilege of workingfrom home.
I worked huge shirt and justwas slathering aloe and lotion
(13:08):
and aloe and lotion and it justbut it still felt like I was not
burst into flames.
So one day, I needed to go tothe store.
I don't even remember why.
And I thought, well, I'll justgo like this.
And I remember walking aroundthe store thinking, Well, this
is alright.
Like, I guess, either no onecares or I shouldn't have cared
at all in the first place.
(13:29):
And the world is an ending thatI'm out here without my
prosthetics on.
And then that turned into,well, maybe I don't wear them at
all anymore because Most bereal.
How many women love wearingbras?
Like, come on.
Like, if you don't have to wearthem, do you want to?
Maybe not.
So and mine were it was prettyheavy.
(13:51):
Like, the inserts I had wereheavy and it was tight and worse
.
So not super comfortable.
And then I started trying on myown clothes, and the number of
them just didn't for me, didn'tlook right.
Right.
And it was interesting becauseI just got into a discussion
about this, and I grew wherepeople are like, well, why do
you try to hide your scars?
And it's a a form like, itshows your bravery and your
(14:12):
strength or whatever, and Itotally get that, and that's
awesome.
But for me, Like, especiallylike a v neck is gonna hit lower
because you don't have breastsholding them up.
Yeah.
And for me, I felt like It's mystory to tell.
I don't wanna walk around andeveryone, like, somewhat
stranger on the street know thisabout me.
Like, have this access to myinformation so to speak.
(14:35):
Right.
So it wasn't, like, I washiding it necessarily even like
kind of was, but Again,everybody is different, and
everybody does somethingdifferent, and you have to do
it's best for you.
But for me, a lot of theclothes didn't work.
And did some searches on theInternet, and I thought, well,
is there a line?
There wasn't one.
No clothing line.
I thought, oh, Well, maybe Ican do this.
(14:57):
And that was how it started.
And because what not a personwho doesn't know how to sew or
ever worked in the fashionindustry, of course, that person
should start a clothing line.
Helen (15:07):
You had no background in this.
Right?
Jaimie Sherling (15:09):
Oh, zero.
Mm-mm.
Not at all.
I learned a lot.
I just started meeting people,and I can't remember the order.
I felt like maybe I met someoneat a local, like technical
college, And then I met somepeople who were clothing
designers locally, and it wasjust one person after another.
I'd have conversations.
I'd learned something new andthen go from there.
(15:30):
And one of the things that Iwas guided to know was that it
didn't matter if I learned at aso apparently and I don't know
any names, but apparentlythere's some well known
designers who also don't knowhow to sew.
I thought, oh, okay.
So though the guidance was youdon't need to know how to sew,
you can still be a designer.
And I thought, well, I know Icould talk someone through well
(15:50):
even if I saw an article.
Well, change this and changethis, and can you do this, and
can you do that?
I don't know how to do it, butyou do it, and my idea.
So I'm the designer.
Helen (15:59):
How did you start with your prototypes?
Jaimie Sherling (16:03):
So I first I first put a poll in one of those
closed online groups?
Just the idea of, if I didthis, what do you think?
And the response was extremelypositive?
So I thought, oh, okay.
I guess there's a need.
And from there, I saw a patternat, well, I should say, my
teenagers saw it first.
Saw a pattern at a garage salein the neighborhood and whole
(16:27):
stack, old patterns, and one ofthem I thought, oh, I like this,
but I would change it to thisand this and this and that's
what became the prototype.
So I worked with one of my dearfriends and friends for a long
time, Heather.
And Heather, she knows how tosew very, very well.
And so she helped she made theprototype, and then I worked
with I found a pattern maker whothen could make the pattern
(16:48):
from the prototype so then itcould be reproduced.
Maureen (16:52):
You know what I loved was that your teenager found
something and immediatelythought, Mom, this this could
work for you.
Jaimie Sherling (17:00):
No.
I will I don't.
I realized I didn't tell thestory that way.
So my teenager does know how tosew.
So the teenager is, like, wegotta work together if you
didn't have to go to high school.
Come on.
Well, that off.
So Yes.
My teenager does know how tosew.
I don't.
This is the teenager found thewhole stack of patterns.
(17:20):
For themselves.
And then I was going to thinkGerman, that's how it happened.
So I asked him an importantpart of the story I didn't
mention.
Maureen (17:28):
Nice way to obscure with one of their patterns.
Good job.
Jaimie Sherling (17:30):
Exactly.
I'm like, very much.
Maureen (17:35):
Do you also sell the patterns?
Jaimie Sherling (17:38):
I am planning on that now.
So I'm not closing the clothingline.
It still exists, but I'mwanting to focus more on the
book.
That's just my choice right now.
And I did have people reach outabout the patterns early on and
originally I said, no way.
Like, the business will close,but now I feel like I would love
to sell all the inventory Ihave because I have pieces that
(18:00):
are already made.
So I would love to sell those,but then, yes, I am now open to
selling the patterns and I havetags and My thought is I could
ask them to put the tags on it.
If they tell people about it,they could tell the clothing
line.
And if they don't, Okay.
Helen (18:16):
So what is the clothing line?
Jaimie Sherling (18:18):
It is called YDI suites.
Why do y stands for you?
Do you?
Awesome.
Helen (18:26):
How long did it take you to get your your business off
the ground.
Jaimie Sherling (18:32):
I think I started those conversations in
spring of twenty nineteen.
Like, that's when I reallystarted to think, oh, maybe I'll
do this.
I'm not sure.
Start meeting with people allthe things.
And then I was ready to launch,oh, March of twenty twenty, and
March seventh, I had a photoshoot.
I had a photo shoot in mypiece, like like like the
(18:55):
standard piece, look beautiful,hair, makeup, the works, all the
things.
And then March sixteenth waswhen.
So I thought, okay, I'm notlaunching this now.
So I waited until untilSeptember of twenty twenty.
And that was just a waitbecause, I mean, I was ready to
(19:16):
go the whole time, but I feltlike people are barely leaving
in their homes, everyone's inyoga pants.
Like, this is not the time.
So But then finally, bySeptember, I thought,
Helen (19:27):
okay.
Jaimie Sherling (19:27):
Well, some people are going back to work,
and some people just wanna dressup because they wanna dress up,
so whatever.
So I'm not waiting anymore.
Helen (19:34):
And and what what kind of pieces do you have in your line
?
Jaimie Sherling (19:38):
They're all taps, so there's a tunic.
There is a sleeveless tunic andthen a short sleeve tunic and
then there's a long sleeve tab.
Maureen (19:45):
It's so nice to have something that is made
specifically for your needs.
Yeah.
Jaimie Sherling (19:50):
That's what I thought too.
Maureen (19:52):
You have quite the story, and I wanna know how you
got to the point where you said,I need to write a book about
this.
Jaimie Sherling (20:02):
So I didn't make that decision for a while.
So I actually startedscribbling some notes in
September of twenty nineteen.
Just at a time that there was alot of resolution of certain
things in my life and just Idon't know that cathartic
experience.
And I think I had in the wayback of my mind that it might be
(20:23):
a book, but I really wasn'tsure.
So it was just the beginningsof it.
Right.
And then the pandemic kept end.
And in the spring of twentytwenty, I was not coping well.
Some days, coping better thanothers.
And someone who is a verysocial person, high high high
(20:44):
extrovert.
I have two teenagers that arewith me half time.
So every other week, I wascompletely alone.
Maureen (20:51):
Right.
Jaimie Sherling (20:52):
That just did not work for me.
So Like I said, I did somecoping, not so great, whatever,
cried a lot, all the things.
And then at some point, I don'teven know when.
But April ish, maybe May, Ithought, fine.
I guess I'll just write thisbook.
I can't do anything else.
And that's when I wrote thebulk of it.
(21:13):
Was that late spring earlysummer?
I just wrote and wrote andwrote and wrote when I couldn't
see my friends or really go outanywhere I wanted to go because
we were pretty shut down.
Right.
Helen (21:23):
Right.
Now your book was published inSeptember of twenty twenty one.
Correct.
From Queen's to Queen's, howthe Madison Drag community saved
my life.
Tell me a little bit about whatsparked you to get moving and
(21:45):
go all the way back to to thebeginning, growing up in New
York.
Jaimie Sherling (21:51):
Well, I liked I don't even know when I came up
with the idea, but New York issuch an important place in my
life, and I lived so the titleis play on words because I lived
the first seven years of mylife in Queen's New York.
So I think I just had that wordplay in mind and thought, oh,
from queens, the actual Blazequeens, to these queens.
And I was like, see, this wasmy destiny all along.
(22:13):
And once and I came up with thetitle fairly early on and it
never changed.
So I was happy that it's stuck,and I would tell people, and
either I'd get the reaction ofkinda like, good job.
Or my friends are in thecommunity who the book was
basically about, would say, So Icouldn't change.
(22:35):
I was like, that's it.
That's the title.
So I wanted to give a biggerperspective, and I definitely I
didn't talk too much, at least Idon't think I did, about my
early life, but it was that, youknow a little bit about me, to
then know a lot more about me.
Helen (22:50):
Right.
Right.
Maureen (22:53):
What was it that caused drag queens to save your life?
Jaimie Sherling (22:59):
Well, how do I begin?
So I'll just explain how I getconnected to this community
because it's not a usual way.
So I have heard many peopletell their stories.
They go to a drag show.
That's that.
For me, I was in a in a musicalwith my friend, Josh.
Josh is the choreographer.
We became friends throughoutthat musical season.
(23:20):
And then after the season wasover, Josh asked if I would be a
backup dancer for Beverly B ina drag show pigeon.
At that time of my life, I hadnever seen a drag show I had
never seen an episode of RepulseDrag Race.
I knew what Drag Wars, but Ihad no personal exposure to it
at all.
Of course, I said yes.
I mean, how could I possiblysay no?
(23:43):
So I met so the first queen Iknew I knew it was my friend,
Josh.
And then I showed up to thisrehearsal space, which happens
to be, Five Night Club, which isa place that I love to go see
Drag.
And I was there on a Saturdayafternoon, walked in, it's, you
know, the lights are on, themusic isn't going.
It doesn't really seem like aclub.
And then I met three otherpeople, Michael Dan and Jacob,
(24:07):
who I found out later alsoperformed in drag.
But again, I met them asthey're male presenting
themselves.
So I have a unique experiencethat I met them, got to be
friends with them.
So it's almost like, oh, theseare my friends, and this is that
activity they do when I gowatch it.
And support them
Helen (24:23):
--
Jaimie Sherling (24:23):
Right.
Helen (24:23):
--
Jaimie Sherling (24:24):
as opposed to I'm gonna go to a drag show.
So that's I know a differentexperience than a lot of people.
Maureen (24:29):
So you actually performed within the show.
Jaimie Sherling (24:32):
I did.
I realized I was counting justthe other day.
I think I've been a backupdancer four times now.
It's two for pageants, and Ithink two for my friend.
Sprint Adam who is apediatrician and their drag name
is electrolyte, which I thinkis one of the greatest drag
things ever.
And I had a cancer diagnosis.
(24:53):
I had some other not so greatthings happening in my life.
Along rolled right along withthat.
And going to see shows, it wasjust this place of joy and
happiness and love andacceptance and when I was not
feeling like, I was looking sogreat and I did not like not
(25:15):
having hair that was one of thethings I didn't like the movies.
So not having hair, not havingbreasts, and there I go going to
these shows and Hey, gorgeous.
Oh, hey, fabulous.
You look great.
And just showering.
I'm like, okay.
Keep talking.
Keep talking.
How does that not feel good?
(25:35):
It does.
Maureen (25:36):
You just need to surround yourself with those
people.
Those people are the best.
Jaimie Sherling (25:40):
Exactly.
They just allowed me to be meand accepted me for who I was.
I think in some ways it was anescape because I just there were
times I just did not want to behome with a certain person.
So I needed to leave that spaceand go to this space of joy and
love and just being thereconsistently that I could go
(26:02):
week after week after week.
And there were times I well,many, many times I would be
driving to five, and I'd be thisnot not hysterically crying, I
guess.
I was safe enough to drive, butdefinitely the tears flowing
down my face.
And I pulled into the parkinglot, and I parked, and I say,
Alright.
Can't cry at a drag show, and Ifight my face off when I go and
(26:22):
die.
Maureen (26:24):
I find that the people who most look for acceptance are
able to give it withouthesitation, and that community
does it beautifully.
Jaimie Sherling (26:34):
I agree with that completely.
Maureen (26:35):
Mhmm.
Jaimie Sherling (26:35):
Mhmm.
They know what it's like to beexcluded to be ignored but not
be accepted for who they are.
Maureen (26:44):
What a wonderful support system to have?
Jaimie Sherling (26:48):
Completely agree with you.
I'm so glad.
Helen (26:50):
Jamie, in your book, you have it divided into, like, two
major sections.
The first one is pretty.
And then the second section isknow your worth.
Talk to me a little bit aboutwhy you broke your book up that
way.
Jaimie Sherling (27:11):
I felt like it was just a good before and
after, so someone calling mepretty in an unexpected time and
way.
And then kind of hearing thatenough and hearing that enough,
but you're maybe not believingit.
And then you turn that cornerof you start believing it
yourself.
And you're worth one of myfavorite Queen's chaos, who it
(27:31):
was actually Jacob who I met.
One of the backup dancers,talked so often about know your
words, know your words, knowyour words, thinking.
Oh, maybe this is actuallysticking, finally.
I'm just getting more and moreused to the idea of, like, I'm a
lot and either you're here forit or you're not.
And if you're not, Oh, well.
(27:52):
Okay.
And that's different.
I was not that person fouryears ago.
Definitely not.
I know that I am not the sameperson I was.
Helen (28:01):
Know when you're worth.
Exactly.
Jaimie Sherling (28:04):
No.
I heard another one.
Know your worth and add tax.
Maureen (28:10):
I love it.
Can I just tell you withinterest?
Jaimie Sherling (28:14):
Exactly.
Yeah.
Who cares about?
So in December of twenty whatwould it be?
Twenty twenty?
Yeah.
December of twenty twenty.
I was very close to making thedecision not to publish.
Helen (28:30):
Really -- Mhmm.
--
Jaimie Sherling (28:32):
that would have just sat on a flash drive
because I thought, oh, this isso embarrassing now to say it
after the fact, but I wasnervous that I was too mean to a
certain someone in the book.
Maureen (28:46):
Right.
That you were brutally honest?
Jaimie Sherling (28:49):
Yeah.
Oh, definitely.
Yeah.
I didn't really pull anypunches.
So I was nervous.
Both just thinking about thatperson, but then also thinking
of family and I was nervous.
Like, are people gonna comeafter me?
And, surprisingly, no one has?
I mean Right.
But is it still coming?
(29:12):
I don't know.
I would I actually worked withmy therapist on it and had more
than one session of, like, ifpeople say these terrible awful
things or if they say this orthey say that, what am I gonna
do?
And, like, so I got myself verymentally prepared.
For those worst case scenarios,but none yet.
Maureen (29:32):
You know what?
I love that you are so honestabout the fact that there's a
lot of trepidation in followingyour passion.
It can cause a lot of worry andanxiety about Am I doing the
right thing?
Is it gonna be successful?
All of those things that youwant for it to work?
I'm feeling a little anxiousabout
Jaimie Sherling (29:51):
it.
Mhmm.
For sure.
I definitely asked they werekind of a small group of people,
so Corshatch my best friend.
Oh, but then I talked to alawyer because I had a lawyer
who's a friend of mine aboutwhat I was saying and could I
get in trouble and things likethat?
So I got some advice there,which is great.
(30:12):
And then the more atypical oneis that my therapist read the
book, which is amazing.
Like and I asked her and Isaid, I know this is not part of
your job description, but,like, please, would you mind?
From a mental healthperspective thinking if she read
it and thought, whoa.
Yeah.
You should not publish this.
This is terrible idea.
(30:32):
I might have listened to her,and she said the exact opposite
was Well, she said, before sheeven read it, she said, I don't
even have to read it.
You should do it.
I'm just gonna tell you youshould do it no matter what, but
I will.
And she read it and she wrotesomething very nice to me in an
email about how much she enjoyedit and how wonderful it was and
all of that.
But I did wanna take her Idon't know that I would have
(30:57):
turned, you know, turned adifferent corner, but I at least
wanted to hear her thoughts.
Maureen (31:03):
Right.
Well, and because she was thereto look out for your best
interest.
Right.
Jaimie Sherling (31:07):
When we had had a longstanding working
relationship, you know, by thattime, we had already been I'd
been seeing her in sessions forover a year.
And so I felt like, you knowme, you know who I am, you know,
a lot about my mental health.
And again, you're looking outfor me.
So I asked and she was kindenough to oblige.
Here is a funny thing aboutwhen my book came out just the
(31:30):
way things happened.
I pushed and pushed and pushedthat I had a launch date.
So September eighteenth, Ipicked that date, and I never
publicized it, but I don't mindsaying it here.
I picked that date because it'smy brother's birthday, my
brother who passed away fromcancer almost ten years ago.
And so I knew it was gonna bejust in September, so I thought
Yeah.
For, like, it was just for methat I wanted it to be that day.
Maureen (31:53):
What a nice tribute to your brother in his memory to
want it on his birthday?
Jaimie Sherling (31:59):
Yeah.
Me special.
So launch day, the book isavailable for purchase online.
And people are texting me andmessaging me and my social media
was blowing up.
But I wanted to get the book ina slightly different way where
it was gonna be a lot cheaper.
So I didn't have a physicalcopy of my book for maybe two
(32:20):
weeks.
So people are sending mepictures and they're sending me
their screenshots.
I believe you didn't exist, butI still don't have a copy.
Maureen (32:29):
Right.
Everybody else would it.
But the art
Jaimie Sherling (32:32):
people holding my book, but I wasn't holding my
book.
Maureen (32:36):
We might wanna put out a call to Reese Witherspoon.
Jaimie Sherling (32:39):
Oh, yeah.
Maureen (32:40):
Per earlier conversation when Helen wasn't
there.
Helen (32:43):
Oh.
What did I miss?
Jaimie Sherling (32:45):
So I was saying, this is me being very
vulnerable, but that's what I do.
Why not?
I had a moment where I wasreally sad about not being on
the best seller list and all thethings.
And then I was saying, Man, ifsomebody could just pass my book
on to Reese Witherspoon, Ireally appreciate it.
Maureen (33:04):
She would play the part perfectly.
Don't you think Helen?
Jaimie Sherling (33:07):
Yeah.
That would be amazing.
I do think this book could beso visually appealing.
There's so much room for somuch.
Just if nothing else, all thedrag.
Drag is so exciting.
Maureen (33:20):
Yeah.
Where can people get your book,Jamie?
Jaimie Sherling (33:24):
You can find my book in a couple different
places.
One, the easy one, as far asjust people being able to type
and search, is Amazon.
So it is available on Amazon.
Then if you go to YDIY Suite,stuck on my website, you can
find different ways to get it.
Like, if someone happened to belistening to this and they were
local to me, they could go oneof those local books stores,
which I would love.
Maureen (33:44):
Oh, wonderful.
Yeah.
I love when we can supportlocal book sellers.
Jaimie Sherling (33:49):
Me too.
Bookstores are special.
Maureen (33:52):
So what is it that you would like to do as you move
forward with your book?
Jaimie Sherling (33:59):
And the dream because and this wasn't even my
idea.
This just came to me because afriend reached out to me and
said, this person was justdiagnosed and I wanna buy the
book for her.
And I had some in stack, and Iwrote a note on behalf of myself
and the other person.
So they knew it was a gift andsigned it.
(34:19):
I'm thinking, what if this wasgifted?
They have since connected withthat person who was gifted the
book.
She found me on social media,reached out, and then explained.
This do I am and thank you somuch and I'm reading the book
and and just being that supportperson.
And that's the one step furtherbecause it's not just about I
(34:40):
want you to read my book, but ifit brings you joy, if it brings
you comfort, if we connect andthen I can be another support
person for you, great.
Maureen (34:51):
When you think about your kids and all that you've
gone through, what do you hopethat they get from the
experiences you've had?
Jaimie Sherling (35:00):
That's a great question.
I hope they know that ifthey're going through something
hard, to take it one day at atime and not fall into despair.
I will say not to fall intodespair too far because I do
think there's a time for beingsad and if you're going through
something hard and you needtheir day, maybe days that you
(35:25):
can't get up, that's okay, andI'm not gonna judge someone for
that.
But hopefully, they would comearound and whether it's leaning
on the people close them.
Whatever they need to do tokind of pull themselves or have
someone help them pullthemselves out of it and keep on
keeping on.
Maureen (35:45):
Yeah.
To be a role model like thatfor your kids is a pretty
impressive thing.
Jaimie Sherling (35:50):
Well, who knows if they listen to me anymore?
That's the thing.
Maureen (35:54):
Oh, they're just teenagers now.
Monkeys thirty one.
Trust me.
They listen.
Okay.
Jaimie Sherling (35:58):
They listen when you least expect it.
Helen (36:00):
Right.
They'll show you that they werelistening.
That never while it'shappening, it'll it'll be years
later.
Jaimie Sherling (36:08):
You're hearing quote and think are you quoting
me?
Maureen (36:10):
Yeah.
Jaimie Sherling (36:10):
That's what I said.
Wait a minute.
Helen (36:13):
Jamie, this has been awesome.
I I can't thank you enough fortaking the time.
I can't thank you enough forfor writing your memoir.
Jaimie Sherling (36:21):
Mhmm.
Thank you for that, Helen.
That's really I really, reallyappreciate that.
I needed to hear that today.
Helen (36:27):
More people need to read this because there's a lot of
good lessons in here.
Thank you.
So Maureen, what did you getout of this week's conversation
with Jamie?
Maureen (36:45):
Well, she was just an amazing person to get to talk to
.
Helen (36:49):
Yes.
Maureen (36:49):
And all the things that she's faced and that she had a
community of people to supporther and to enrich her while she
was struggling.
Jaimie Sherling (37:01):
Mhmm.
Maureen (37:02):
It's just a constant reminder to me that you don't
need to struggle alone.
Helen (37:06):
Right.
Maureen (37:07):
The other thing that was really important for me was
seeing that she was a realbeacon for other people who
faced adversity.
Helen (37:16):
Right.
Maureen (37:18):
And just finding someone like her when you are
challenged, somebody who's gonethrough it can be so helpful in
knowing that.
Again, you're not alone.
Helen (37:28):
Right?
I really loved how the book hasbecome probably the most
important thing for her.
And what she is truly startingto get out of out of it as, you
know, the book gets wider andand wider distributed.
Is that she's really helpingothers by sharing her tough
(37:51):
experiences.
Maureen (37:52):
Right.
Helen (37:53):
And you don't have to have gone through cancer or a
divorce or any of the othersituations she's gone through,
but you can actually pick awayand see some of the cornerstone
pieces that helped her pickherself up and continue moving
on and that could be aninspiration to anybody.
Maureen (38:14):
It's amazing.
To have that experience and toturn it into something that is
just absolutely golden.
Helen (38:21):
Yeah.
She is she is a trueinspiration.
And she was such a breath offresh air to talk to.
Absolutely.
So if you're interested inlearning more about Jamie's
journey, her books, her clothingline.
Jump down to our show notes.
We have links to everythingJamie related.
And, Maureen, any parting wordsfor this week?
Maureen (38:47):
Oh, power through people.
Life is full of challenges, butyou've got this.
Helen (38:53):
Thanks for listening, and we'll see you in two weeks.
If you've liked what you'veheard, please subscribe and
share with your friends andfamily.
Maureen (39:08):
Rate and review us wherever you download your
podcast.
Helen (39:12):
Become part of the assorted conversations community
on Facebook, the place forlisteners to connect, share, and
support each other as we allpursue what makes us happy.
Maureen (39:22):
And don't forget to follow us on Twitter and
Instagram.
All links to our social mediaaccounts are in the episode
description.
Helen (39:29):
Thanks for joining us.
And until next week,
Maureen (39:32):
be bold,
Helen (39:33):
be blind, and pursue your passions.
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