May 6, 2026 • 57 mins
Text me what you think of today’s episode!
Four years later, three familiar voices return with the kind of progress that makes you want to re-check your own “someday” list. We catch up with Rua Fay, who turned a film blogging passion into real industry access, landing Cannes and TIFF credentials, interviewing artists she once idolized, and learning the business of film through undergrad work, festivals, networking, and nonstop curiosity.
Then we reconnect with Josh O’Connell, whose deep library of casino gaming writing reaches a turning point. It’s a real look at calculated risk-taking, career pivots, and how long-term skills can snap together into the job that finally fits.
We also welcome back Mary Elizabeth Murphy to talk about why so many of us feel overwhelmed and frozen right now and how her RESET Your Buttons model is timeless in helping us maintain solid relationships. We dig into her 90-day reset sprint, pop-up productivity sessions, and the Pomodoro method as practical tools for focus, relationships, and workplace communication in an era of uncertainty and AI disruption.
Ep. 14. The Film Blogger Conversation with Rua Fay
Ep. 17 - The Gambling Writer Conversation with Josh O'Connell
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Ep. 37 - The Reset Your Buttons Conversation with Mary Elizabeth Murphy
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_06 (00:00):
Don't forget to hit subscribe or follow wherever
you're listening to this podcastnow.
That way you don't miss any ofthe great conversations I have
coming up.
Thanks, and here's this week'sepisode.
(00:23):
Everyday people following theirpassions.
SPEAKER_08 (00:27):
That's probably like one of the highlights of my life
so far.
Just being able to be creativelike that.
I'm able to.
SPEAKER_02 (00:36):
And then I decided to get another hive, and that
turned into a lot of hives.
As long as I can do that, I wantto be a good citizen.
Help people out.
SPEAKER_06 (00:47):
Putting themselves out there, taking chances, and
navigating challenges along theway.
SPEAKER_04 (00:54):
I I absolutely identified with having stage
ride because, you know, anytimeI went on stage, I just felt
like I was having a hot attack.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01):
Very first lap, very first practice session, I
crashed, turned the car upsidedown, made a spectacle of
myself, and I got back on thathorse and started riding again.
SPEAKER_06 (01:10):
As they pursue what makes them happy and brings them
joy.
SPEAKER_00 (01:16):
As long as people are having a good time and I
have the opportunity to putsmiles on people's faces, I love
what I do.
SPEAKER_07 (01:22):
I have done things that I never thought I could do.
SPEAKER_02 (01:27):
To have somebody tell me how real it looks and
how, you know, from their actualmemory.
Because that's telling me Icaptured what I was trying to
get.
SPEAKER_06 (01:38):
Welcome to a started conversation.
I'm your host, Helen.
Good morning, good afternoon, orgood evening, wherever you are.
This week I got to take a strolldown memory lane and revisit
three guests who have continuedbeing everyday people doing
(02:00):
extraordinary things since wefirst chatted with them four
years ago.
I catch up with our youngestguest, our man of international
mystery guest, and the secondmost downloaded guest on
Assorted Conversations.
Yeah, I know what you'rethinking.
Why not the most downloadedguest?
(02:23):
Well, because we couldn't getour schedules to line up.
But rest assured, he'll be onthe next assorted guest update
show.
Sit back, relax, enjoy thisweek's episode, and I'll see you
on the other side.
(02:44):
We met this guest back in 2021during episode 14, the film
blogger conversation.
We discussed how it sick.
She created a film bloggingwebsite, recruited other
Cinephiles to contribute to thesite, and was beginning to
create a community dedicated toa mutual love of all things
(03:05):
cinema and theater.
She was a senior in high schoolback then, and at this time she
is now getting ready to graduatefrom Ithaca College in 2026.
I am so happy to welcome backRua Faye.
Hi, Rua.
Hi, thank you for having meback.
How are you?
SPEAKER_09 (03:25):
I'm great.
I've got about a month left ofschool, and then it's I'm moving
to Los Angeles and it's off tothe big leagues.
SPEAKER_06 (03:32):
Oh, fantastic.
So let's get caught up on whatyou've been doing over the past
four years.
SPEAKER_09 (03:39):
So in 2024, I was lucky enough to attend my first
film festival as an intern.
I interned at the Cannes FilmFestival, and then a few months
later, I attended my first filmfestival as press.
I did the Toronto InternationalFilm Festival, also known as
TIFF.
And then I just kept applyingand applying to other ones.
(04:01):
I've done South by Southwest,Tribeca.
Oh, I just got back from myfirst sun dance.
My school set, I asked my schoolto pay for my accommodation, and
that, you know, was a huge help.
This year around, since I'mgraduating, I won't be going to
Cannes this year, but I'vebecome, I think, one of the
youngest people to get approvedfor press at Cannes.
(04:25):
And I'm sending one of mywriters.
And in the fall, I will bepursuing my master's degree at
the American Film Institute.
SPEAKER_06 (04:35):
Oh my gosh, that's fantastic.
Holy cow.
So you attended all of thosefilm festivals.
And assuming that Cinemastersbenefited from that, were you
able to write and review and andshare synopsis of the movies
that you were seeing?
SPEAKER_09 (04:53):
Yeah, I think it helps going there because not
everyone, I mean, like when amovie comes out on Netflix,
everyone can watch it, butbefore a movie's had a
theatrical release, there's amysticism around it.
And, you know, you people areeager to see what the very few
who've already seen it think.
So that was yeah, you know, itit's been a big help.
(05:18):
And I would also say like thebest part about the film
festivals is how educationalthey are.
Like as a film student, I'velearned more in just a year of
going to a few film festivalsthan I have at any single
singular class I've had inundergrad.
SPEAKER_06 (05:38):
Really?
SPEAKER_09 (05:38):
In terms of in terms of not not not film as a medium,
but in terms of the industry andhow to network with people.
There really is nothing like it.
Experience is the best teacher,and that's what these film
puzzles have taught me.
SPEAKER_05 (05:55):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_06 (05:56):
Yeah.
A lot of the things I know thatyou've been involved in have
required a bunch of networking.
And you are out there wherewe're hooked up on LinkedIn.
You're out there multiple timesa week with with different posts
of what you've gotten involvedwith.
(06:18):
Well, who are some or what aresome of the important
connections you've made thathave really opened your eyes up
to film and other possibilitieswithin the medium?
SPEAKER_09 (06:31):
Well, I think one of my I think my funniest story I
have networking.
I I use this story to tellpeople that networking can
really happen anywhere.
I was at the 2025 anniversaryscreening of One Flew Over the
Cuckoo's Nest at Cannes.
And they had one of theproducers up there, Paul Zance,
who came to talk about what thefilm means and how it's about
(06:54):
anti-fascism.
And he's like, Listen, I'm afilmmaker from the US and we're
in a bit of a crisis right nowin terms of that.
And he just had a lot of reallyinspiring words, I thought.
And I went up to him after theshow and I said, Oh, thank you
for your for your words.
This movie means a lot to me.
Have a great night.
And then I went to the bathroomand there was like this older
(07:15):
woman there, like thisbeautiful, like older woman,
definitely former model.
And I said, Oh my god, I loveyour dress.
And she said, Thank you.
And thank you for those nicewords you said to my boy, to my
boyfriend.
And I was like, Your boyfriend.
And next thing you know, I'minterviewing them both the next
day.
She sends me a free copy of herbook.
He's a he's produced like threeOscar-winning films.
(07:40):
He was amazing.
So wow, that was fantastic.
That was a great connection, andit came out of literally
nowhere.
The bathroom.
Yeah, literally just tellingsomeone you like their dress in
the bathroom.
SPEAKER_06 (07:52):
Yeah.
Oh, that's funny.
What are have you had any wowmoments, you know, that have
kind of blown your mind as toyou know what you've been able
to experience?
SPEAKER_09 (08:01):
Yeah, I mean, I got to interview my favorite
screenwriter, Charlie Kaufman.
He won the Oscar for EternalSunshine of the Spotless Mind.
He has also directed some reallygreat films that I love, like
Anomaly, Stuff Thinking ofEnding Things, Synecdoche, New
York.
I think he's just adaptation.
(08:22):
No, that was Spike Jones, but hewrote that.
I think like it was so surrealinterviewing him because he had
a he had a short film at AFIFest that he directed, and it
was so cool just like beingfreshly 21 and getting to talk
to someone I've admired for solong like that.
(08:43):
Like that was crazy.
Yeah.
I also got to meet he's a bit ofa Massachusetts legend, his name
is Frederick Wiseman, and backin the day he directed a film at
Bridgewater State Asylum calledTitty Cut Follies, and it was
about sort of the treatment ofthe criminally, not criminally
(09:05):
people who were deemed insaneback then, and like a talent
show they had in a mentalinstitution, and it catalyzed a
lot of change.
He died, I believe, in his late90s, like two months ago.
SPEAKER_06 (09:32):
Yeah.
Great.
Have you been starstruck at anypoint?
SPEAKER_09 (09:37):
Yes.
Yes.
Oh my god, I have like yeah, I Ipoint to two people in
particular that I have I haven'tworked with them.
I've just been in the same roomas them and I've talked to them
briefly.
And they could not be moredifferent.
(09:59):
I have only been starstruck byTim Robinson, comedian Tim
Robinson, and Jaffer Panahi, whois a he's a Jaffer Panahi.
He is an Iranian filmmaker whojust won the Palmda Orat Cannes.
He is very well known for makingfilms critical of the Persian
(10:25):
government, and he's done prisontime for his film.
So I got to see him give a talkat AFI in the fall, and it was
just like it was so insane.
Actually, I do I do have onemore.
I'm forgetting one.
And this has nothing to do withwork.
This was a chance encounter inLA.
(10:45):
I was working on SunsetBoulevard for like six months,
and one day my my roommate whousually came to pick me up from
work was at like a live tapingof like the price is right or
something.
So I decided I was like, youknow what?
I'm gonna just gonna I'm justgonna take a walk down Sunset
Boulevard.
It's a beautiful warm night.
I'll just like see what's up.
And I walk into this bookstorecalled Book Soup and I walk in
(11:08):
and I run into my childhoodhero, Baz Lerman.
And we're we're in a bookstoretogether, and I look at him and
I just go, I'm sorry, are youBaz Luhrmann?
He goes, Am I in trouble?
And I go, No, you're like thereason I'm here.
Like, and he was with his wife,and I went, is that Oscar
(11:30):
winning costume designerCatherine Martin?
He went, Yeah, it is.
And I was like, He was like, Doyou want a picture with me?
I was like, I would love to.
And I just talked to him aboutlike how strictly ballroom, like
I watched that with my mom allthe time, and how Moulin Rouge
was like my first favoritemovie.
Like it was just it was insane.
And that happened literally in arandom chance encounter at a
(11:54):
bookstore on Sunset Boulevard.
SPEAKER_06 (11:56):
Oh, that's funny.
That's gotta be wild.
You are very well versed in yourwriters and directors, and I
mean, I'm lucky if I canremember the actors in some of
my favorite movies.
Let's talk about Cinemasters fora little bit.
You found out that one of yourarticles or one of your reviews
was posted in a museum.
(12:19):
Did I get that right?
SPEAKER_09 (12:20):
Yeah, so that same that same woman that I I
complimented her dress and Iinterviewed her husband, the
producer, he his family, he'spart of a very illustrious
filmmaking legacy.
His uncle was extraordinaryproducer Saul Zance, and his
name's Paul Zance, it'shilarious.
(12:42):
But I believe Paul donated quitea bit of his film collection to
the Academy Museum, and his hisgirlfriend texted me on WhatsApp
and she said, Oh my god, likethey have a press section, and
because yours is like the mostrecent interview he's done, it's
(13:03):
in the museum.
And so that interview is now inthe archive for the Academy
Museum, and you can look it upif you want to go to the
archive, and it's insane.
SPEAKER_06 (13:17):
Yeah, well, that's amazing to me.
So, how has Cinemasters grownover the past four years?
SPEAKER_09 (13:27):
It's grown not only in terms of numbers, but I think
in terms of scope.
I remember like for a while Iwas just writing about any movie
I found interesting, but nowwe've turned into a lot more of
a film news publication where weexclusively cover, not
exclusively, but we mostly covernew films like you'd see at like
(13:48):
Hollywood, Hollywood Reporter,Indie Wire when back then I was
just any movie that I saw Iwould review even if it had been
out for like 20 years, and Ifind that kind of silly.
Like I know I've seen people whohave like like movie review
Instagram accounts will they'llreview like The Little Mermaid
from like the 80s.
(14:08):
I'm like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
We've seen this.
That movie's like almost 40years old.
No one's like, oh, I wonder if Ishould watch its Disney classic.
Let me see what this random filmstudent in college thinks.
Like, no.
So I decided to really make apivot towards new movies that
are coming out because it's in alot of ways I consider myself a
(14:32):
product reviewer.
Um because you know, if people,if you're asking people to spend
their hard-earned money, youneed to give them a product
that's worth that money andthey're worth their time and
worth their attention.
And I'd like to think that areview of mine has convinced
someone to see a movie theymaybe wouldn't have seen or
(14:52):
discouraged them to see a movieI think they would have
regretted seeing, like that kindof thing.
Right, right.
SPEAKER_06 (14:59):
Oh, great.
How many, how many writers doyou have?
SPEAKER_09 (15:05):
I have probably including myself, I think three
probably four regular writers.
We do have guest writers, guestcontributors, festival
correspondents, that kind ofthing.
Yeah, I've had a few people justwrite one-off articles for me,
but the majority of write-upsare by myself, Eric Hardman, and
(15:29):
Zachary Zanato.
SPEAKER_06 (15:31):
That's great.
That's great.
And and you know, you youoriginally started Cinemasters
to kind of create a community offolks that enjoyed cinema just
like you did.
And you all you also mentionedthat you know you you had kind
(15:52):
of coached or mentored some ofthe younger folks in high school
as as you were coming up, youknow, through theater and drama
and things like that.
Have you continued yourmentorship?
SPEAKER_09 (16:06):
I think I have.
I've been I've been teachingworkshops on film journalism and
criticism at school.
I got asked by my professor lastweek if I could speak for 30
minutes during our big lecturebecause the topic happened to be
film festivals and networking.
So I gave some people like alittle bit of advice.
(16:27):
I I brought some of my badges sothey could see what they look
like and the terms on the backsof them.
And yeah.
Yeah, I think I think I have.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (16:38):
Yeah, you you sound like you have.
You sound like you have.
Over the past four years, arethere any projects that you've
worked on for school that youare particularly proud of?
SPEAKER_09 (16:50):
I can't help but I'm in the middle of my thesis right
now, where we're just editing,but I can't help but think of
this one I helped on in freshmanyear called The Pisser, which
was essentially like literallyjust like a call-out because all
my friends and I had lived inthe same building, and then this
one guy moved in, and all of asudden there was like pee all
(17:11):
over our communal toilet seats.
So we made a a neo-noir crimefilm about this old-timey
detective and it's shot in blackand white, and it's about this
guy trying to find like themythic pisser, like who keeps
leaving the toilet seat wet, andlike I like it is shot insanely
(17:37):
well.
Yeah, I still think it's reallygood.
I was I was only a productionassistant on it.
My friends really did the heavylifting, but that it's a funny
concept.
Yeah, we we my friends theypromoted like Instagram ads and
held up posters just sayingwho's the pisser?
(17:57):
Find out in the auditorium onthis day.
And we had like a packed houseof people trying to find out who
the pisser was, and like thewhole twist was that oh, the it
was the detective's alternatepersonality.
Like I still think it's great.
I think it's one of the betterthings I've worked on in
college.
SPEAKER_06 (18:14):
That's funny.
What's next for you?
You said you're moving out toLA.
SPEAKER_09 (18:21):
Yeah, so next month of my life is gonna be full of a
lot of changes.
I'm graduating with mybachelor's in film, my BFA in
film, and then I'm getting myMFA in film producing from the
American Film Institute in inLos Angeles, which has been a
dream of mine since I was a kid.
I can't believe I got in rightout of undergrad.
(18:43):
All my classmates are like 35and have kids, and I've been
working in the industry for along time, so I have a lot to
learn from them.
And I've always gotten alongbetter with older people.
So I think it'll be a greatopportunity to learn from the
best of the best and make somereally great connections and
some amazing films.
SPEAKER_06 (19:05):
Yeah, absolutely.
So after AFI, what do you hopeto do with your bachelor's and
your master's?
SPEAKER_09 (19:12):
I hopefully I want to be a career producer.
What's great about producing isthat you work for a studio most
of the time.
So it's basically the creativeequivalent of having a stable
office job.
So, like you have an office, youhave regular income, but you're
(19:34):
making movies.
So it's not really the gig-basedthing that you would get if you
were a camera person or anactor.
Exactly.
So hopefully I I become part ofa really good studio and get to
make some great projects.
SPEAKER_06 (19:49):
Oh, I am so excited for you.
I mean, getting into AFI, yourfirst shot, coming right out of
undergrad is is amazing.
So congratulations on that.
And again, I cannot wait to seewhere you go.
When we first spoke, I I kepttelling Maureen, my my partner
(20:09):
at the time, I love being at thebeginning of a story.
And even though we're four yearslater, I still feel like we're
at the beginning of a story withyou, and I'm so happy.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Well, best of luck, and we willdefinitely stay in touch.
Of course.
(20:30):
Thanks, Rua.
Yeah, bye.
Thank you.
And I'm back with an update froma guest who is the most
internationally downloadedepisode, sort of the James Bond
of Assorted Conversations.
We met him in episode 17, theGambling Writer Conversation,
(20:53):
and I am so happy to welcomeback Josh O'Connell.
Hey, Josh.
SPEAKER_03 (20:58):
Hey, Helen, so good to talk to you again.
SPEAKER_06 (21:00):
It is so good to see you again.
How are you?
SPEAKER_03 (21:03):
I'm doing wonderful.
It's always good to chat.
SPEAKER_06 (21:05):
Yes, yes, definitely.
Now, last we left you, you werewriting content and managing all
of your content, which was arepository of content for the
casino gaming arena from travelexperiences to debunking casino
and slot machine myths toexplaining in layman's terms how
(21:29):
to get the most out of rewardsprograms.
And that whole entity was knownas know your slots.
And I know it helped me out somuch back when I was visiting
the casino a lot more.
SPEAKER_03 (21:41):
So know your slots reached 1,350 articles with
daily posting throughout theentire cycle from May 2019
through to the end of February2023.
At the time, it was a side hobbyfor me.
So I was doing that alongside afull time job and you know
putting in some time on the sideon now.
And weekends.
I was hit an inflection point.
(22:03):
It was one of those things whereit was definitely going
somewhere, but I didn't know howfar it would go.
And to really push it would haverequired a lot more time and
resources.
And I wasn't sure that I wasready for that commitment.
SPEAKER_06 (22:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (22:18):
Interestingly, though, at the same time, I had
outreach from a friend of minewho we both know, Brian
Christopher, who is of BrianChristopher Slots on YouTube
Fame.
And he sort of this was at oneof the conferences.
We spoke about this in the lastconversation, T2E, which is the
biggest industry converseconvention every year.
And he basically took me out todinner, and within two minutes,
(22:41):
I realized it was a jobinterview.
He started asking me questionsabout my life and my work.
And what ultimately came to bewas this idea for a project
which became a website that welaunched together called Flip
the Switch.
And so Flip the Switch haselements of what I've been
writing about all along thecasino myths, the best practices
for you know keeping it fun andnot blowing money you can't
(23:04):
afford.
You know, responsible gaming'salways been part of what I do
and what Brian does too,honestly.
So that's that's a nice match.
But also we ventured into areasI had not been writing about
before.
So for instance, iGaming andsportsbooks really have exploded
over the past few years, inparticular with sports books,
and iGaming's kind of fallingslowly behind.
But that's like another elementof what has come into the
(23:25):
picture.
And so having resources to helppeople understand how that works
and how that differs from beinginside a casino and you know how
to manage things that wayversus, you know, the ATM trick
doesn't work anymore when youcan just deposit more money from
your computer, right?
So all the differences that thatnow happened there.
So that was sort of part one ofwhat's become, you know, a
really interesting arc that'sled to me moving across the
(23:48):
country.
I was living in Connecticut, nottoo far from you in New England
when we when we spoke the firsttime, and now I'm in Palm
Springs, California.
And I'm doing other things thanthe website.
So I'm doing content marketing,which is something I've done
throughout my whole career, andyou know, and with writing in
terms in terms of that, it'salways been an element to what I
do.
But then also paid marketing,which has also been a part of
(24:09):
what I do, working on ways toevolve things like our shop,
which is you know, merch drivenaround the casino, some theme to
Brian, some theme to the casinomore broadly, um, and helping to
continue to evolve that.
And I have a I did somee-commerce work when I was
younger.
So it's taken every piece of mylife and the work that I've done
(24:31):
over a 25-year career and sortof put it all together into this
job that I will honestly say wassomewhat crafted for me.
And I'm very lucky that that'sthat's the scenario that
happened.
But it was sort of a it was ananswer to my my question, right?
Like, how do I do what I do, butdo it in a way that's more
sustainable?
And one way is to find a job ata place that not only wants
(24:52):
that, but other things that Ican provide.
And and so it's been sort of areally nice match between BC
Ventures, which is the companythat it all lives in, and and
the work that I'm doing.
SPEAKER_06 (25:01):
Yeah.
Oh, that that is amazing.
I love how everything came fullcircle for you.
Every aspect of your life, everyexperience that you had, the
path that you were on.
Little did you know it was gonnalead you to something that, you
know, kind of brought it alltogether.
And I think that is just so, socool.
SPEAKER_03 (25:19):
It's true.
And, you know, sometimes youknow you're ready for something
different.
I had been talking with mypartner for over a year that,
you know, maybe we don't want tolive in Connecticut anymore.
I'd hit, I was about to hit 30years there.
And then, you know, I'd lived onthe East Coast my entire life.
So the job kind of offered achange of scenery, it offered
something new to work on, itlets my hobby become my
day-to-day work, which is reallyfun and sort of lets me delve
(25:43):
even deeper.
Like, you know, the otherbenefit is which is of course
exciting for what I do, is thatI have even more people that I
know have made relationshipsworth working here that I've
learned so much about what'sgoing on and how things work.
And, you know, those answersthat I was getting sort of
incidentally and here and therenow flow more freely.
And, you know, we talked about,for instance, players' cards and
(26:03):
how people are afraid ofplayers' cards because they
might take away money.
And I had an industry person sayon the record for me a year ago,
you know, there's no way that aslot can even respond to the
player's card in terms of likechanging anything because it's
not designed with thatcapability in mind.
So you know, if it doesn'texist, it can't happen.
And so that's kind of great forme because it's it's no longer
(26:25):
just trust me at my word.
I spoke to someone who saidthis.
It's now like, you know, here'sthis person at this company
confirming that this doesn'texist.
And so it just takes what I wasdoing before and really levels
it up to a to a new place, whichis awesome.
SPEAKER_06 (26:38):
Now, with all the change that's gone on, and it
was funny before we got on Mike,you pointed out it's been like
four and a half years since welast spoke.
And I was like, whoa, I can'tbelieve it's been that long.
As the change happened, eventhough it was even though it was
a good thing, as the changehappened, did you ever struggle
with like really followingthrough on that change and and
(26:59):
moving forward?
Were there any was there anyhesitation about leaving the
comfort?
SPEAKER_03 (27:05):
So I don't think so.
You know, I was I I was my lastjob was really great, and I and
so there's there's something tobe said about that.
And when you're in a good placewith a good job, it's sometimes
hard to sort of envision whatthe other side will look like.
But I've always had a bit of acalculated risk taking.
I guess that's probably why thegambling writer works for me.
And I sort of looked at it and,you know, is it scary moving
(27:30):
across the country when my myfamily is still back in New
England?
Yeah, a little bit.
And I missed them, but I'vegotten to see them, I've gotten
out home and they've come backhere.
So that's been solved throughthat.
And, you know, I I I also knewand trusted the person I was
going to work for, and thatmeans a lot.
Most of the jobs I've had in mylifetime have come out of
connections I've made beforegetting that job.
(27:50):
Uh the guy I worked for beforethis, we built three companies
together.
So like we knew each other sincewe were teenagers.
And so and I still speak to hima couple times a week, and we we
regularly communicate and jokearound and so forth.
So, you know, I I I feel verylucky from that perspective that
that's the trajectory of mycareer to date.
And so this was no exception.
It was, it was, it felt like theright move.
(28:12):
I was ready to do something new,and it's pushed me in in in ways
that I felt like I was ready tobe pushed.
So that was also the otherthing, too.
It's like you want to continueto evolve and grow your skills,
right?
You want to continue to learnnew things.
As you were as we were talkingbefore getting on here, you were
talking about some new skillsyou were working on yourself,
right?
So I think that's that's whatkeeps you energized and keeps
you excited to go into workevery day.
(28:34):
And yeah, so this has been greatfor me from that perspective.
SPEAKER_06 (28:37):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, uh, you know, your storyis a little similar to the story
that's in progress for me, whichI'm I'm moving from a learning
and development career into thepodcasting, broadcasting,
voiceover world.
And I've started my own podcastnetwork.
I have this podcast, and therewill be another one coming up
(28:57):
pretty soon about it's acomplete departure from this,
has nothing to do with thesorted conversations, but it is
something I live with every day.
And I want others who who livethat journey the same as I do to
have to have a comfortable placeto come listen, learn, and feel
seen.
So I'm I'm I'm kind of in themiddle of my my story change.
(29:22):
So I know I I know I've got agood mentor in you if I ever get
stuck or get nervous and go, heyJosh, what do you think about
this?
Or did you experience that?
So so that so very cool.
How how do you how do you seeyourself continuing to evolve
with with the gambling with withthe writing and with the
(29:44):
marketing and some of the otherthings that you've worked on for
Brian?
SPEAKER_03 (29:48):
Well, what's been really great about this job is
not only am I leveraging thingsthat I learned from previous
jobs, but also that it allows meto go back to decision making
that I did in my past and sortof look at what's changed since
those decisions.
So I'll just give it, I'll giveone simple example.
Most businesses that you workfor, you might have a
(30:10):
newsletter, right?
And you need newslettersoftware.
And so I you I've used differentplatforms at different points in
my career when I helpedcompanies build websites for
their e-commerce businesses.
I helped them with some of thosethings.
And so I got exposure to manyplatforms, and some of those
platforms still exist, you know,five, ten plus years later, and
some of them don't.
And some new ones have come out,and so you get this opportunity
(30:32):
to sort of look at things againand take a new swing at things
that you've done in the past.
So and then you also get to lookat it from different uh
perspectives, right?
What we need here may not bewhat the business last time that
I was working with needed a fewyears ago, but you get this
chance to look at it.
So that's kind of fun.
I always like exploring andseeing sort of how tech evolves
and how tech hasn't evolvedsometimes and the same little
(30:53):
problems that I had still exist.
And so that's great from myperspective.
That's another way that I kindof keep things fresh and and
don't get too stale and stuck incertain things.
And then sometimes you realizethe tool you've been using all
along is still the right one.
And you know, something you'veinvested a lot of time and
effort into still gets the jobdone.
The site we built, uh, flip thetech we built flip the switch on
(31:13):
is very similar to the tech Ibuilt and know your slots on,
which is very similar to thetech I built other websites on
when I was building websites.
So some of that kind of getsreinvested and some of that gets
reset.
So I think that's one of thethings that's been wonderful
about this job is that I get todo some of that resetting and
relearning and seeing how we cando things better than we used
to.
SPEAKER_06 (31:33):
That is awesome.
So speaking of uh speaking of uhwebsite building, how can folks
follow along with you?
Where can they find you?
Flip the switch, BrianChristopher, BC Ventures Online.
SPEAKER_03 (31:48):
You're gonna be sorry you asked that question
because we have a lot of ways tofollow along with us.
But I'll start with Flip theSwitch, which is one of the
projects that I work on.
So flipthswitch.com is the URL.
That site has had a fastercontent pace than what Know Your
Slots could, which is sort ofone of the things that I'm
excited about.
We're already over 1,500articles and we may hit 2,000
this year depending on ourpacing.
(32:09):
So that site in half the timealready surpassed what we did,
what I did, you know, mostlysolo know your slots.
We also have a contributor teamnow, which is another thing that
I love because you get differentperspectives.
People, uh one of the thingsthat's most important to me is
you're getting perspectives fromplayers.
A lot of times when people arewriting about casino stuff, it's
for the industry, right?
(32:29):
Other casinos, game makers, youknow, those types of things.
Whereas everything we're workingon is designed to talk to other
casino players.
So, you know, we have John, wehave Courtney, we have Robin.
Robin, you might know if you'reif you're a New England listener
because Robin used to have awebsite called Anytime Gambling,
and he decided to shut it downwhen he was retiring.
And I said, Hey, do you want tocome be a voice on our site?
(32:50):
And so now he's been writing forus, and I just I love that we
get to have to keep hisperspective in in the mix for
the players.
Um that's a flipthe switch.com.
We also do have our Facebook andInstagram.
The handle on Facebook is flipthe switch, but the handle on
Instagram is flip the switchgaming.
We had to find one that wasopen.
And then for BC Slots, which isBrian's main channel, BC slots
(33:10):
pretty much across the boardFacebook, Instagram, YouTube,
TikTok.
I feel like I'm forgetting onein there, but pretty much all
the core social media platforms.
And then there's some satellitechannels.
We have BC Bets, which isfocused on the iGaming, which is
the topic I mentioned is one ofthe things I came to help with,
but we also have a videoversion.
And then we have BC Spins, whichcurrently is focused on some of
(33:31):
our greatest hits, but somethingnew usually pops up there from
time to time.
The channel sort of has anevolution.
Over the last six or seven yearshas existed, it's been a few
different things.
So I imagine that evolution willcontinue.
Right now you'll find some ofour clips from from some of the
biggest wins through the historyof the channel, which is
important because Brian just, aswe're recording this, celebrated
10 years doing this this month.
SPEAKER_06 (33:53):
I know, I know.
It's funny, I've been followinghim.
I think I'm due to get myeight-year chip.
SPEAKER_03 (34:00):
Hmm, great.
SPEAKER_06 (34:01):
In in September.
It doesn't make me an OG.
SPEAKER_03 (34:06):
I do have my nine.
I did get that with the becausethe nine-year anniversary of the
fan club, the Rudy's, just wascelebrated this month as well.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (34:13):
Oh wow.
Yeah, I remember when hecelebrated like five, and that
was a big deal.
So funny.
So funny to see how much he'sgrown and so exciting to see how
much you have grown from a verysimilar passion, and now you're
able to collaborate.
It's just so cool.
I couldn't be happier foreverything that's going on for
you, Josh.
(34:34):
So please let's stay in touch.
Thank you so much for taking thetime to get caught up.
SPEAKER_03 (34:41):
Absolutely.
And one last thing, because Ithink it's I want to I want to
document this.
When we last spoke, we weretalking about how to win at the
casino, and you and I bothreally hadn't had particularly
good luck.
But I think it's reallyfascinating that both of us had
a little bit of a streak atdifferent points over the past
couple of years.
And it was just a wonderfulmoment when you had yours, and I
(35:02):
just literally had mine lastweek.
So um I just think it's cool,you know, because you don't go,
you shouldn't go anyway, withthe expectation to win, but when
you do have that moment, it isjust lovely because it adds a
little something extra.
SPEAKER_06 (35:15):
It is, it is.
It's it's like a shot ofadrenaline.
Yes.
It is a shot of adrenaline.
Yep, we definitely have both hadour share of fun in the casinos.
So hopefully I'll get backsomeday soon and I'll be able to
play right next to you in thehigh limit room.
SPEAKER_03 (35:34):
There you go.
That sounds like a plan.
I'll definitely make it back toNew England.
I'll let you know when I do.
SPEAKER_06 (35:39):
Yeah, definitely.
Josh, thanks so much for allyour time.
SPEAKER_03 (35:43):
Same.
Good to talk with you.
SPEAKER_06 (35:48):
I'm now catching up with a guest who's made it a
lifelong quest to understand howand why people can push others'
buttons.
We first met her in 2022 as wewere all starting to emerge from
the isolation the COVID pandemiccaused, and we saw new
interpersonal challenges beginto appear because of it.
(36:12):
The topic struck a chord withlisteners near and far because
her episode number 37, the ResetYour Buttons conversation, is
the second most downloadedepisode of all time.
I am thrilled to welcome backMary Elizabeth Murphy.
Hi, Mary Elizabeth.
SPEAKER_07 (36:31):
Hi, Helen.
Thank you so much for having meback.
And for everyone who's listenedto the episode 37 podcast,
that's exciting.
It's fun and a huge compliment.
SPEAKER_06 (36:41):
Yeah, well, and again, what you do is so, so
important.
Four years ago, like I said, wewere just emerging from the
pandemic, and people were juststarting to get used to being
back amongst other folks.
How in the last four years havethings changed?
SPEAKER_07 (37:01):
Well, uh a lot, right?
As we know, we were getting, Ilike to use the term getting our
legs back under us, right?
Um and being feeling solid onour ground, grounded.
And I think that we're not thereyet.
I think there's a lot ofchallenges going on right now in
(37:22):
in the world, as we know.
I just was part of aconversation about what's
happening in the world oftraining and development within
organizations.
There's a lot of challenges thatpeople continue to want to have
learning.
Companies want to continue totrain people and offer them
talent developmentopportunities.
And unfortunately, budgets arefrozen right now because people
(37:47):
are a little bit paralyzed.
They're not sure which way tomove or what to do.
And I think when it comes toreset, I think that we really do
need to be paying more attentionto when our buttons get pushed
and learning how to reset themso that we can have healthy and
(38:07):
productive conversations andcontinue to work closer
together.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (38:14):
So it sounds like one of the things that you're
seeing is it's just more of thesame.
We just have differentchallenges right now that are
still pushing people to thelimit.
SPEAKER_07 (38:24):
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
I think that some of thedifferent challenges right now
are uh it's funny you say thatbecause I watched a program
recently about 2012, and I saidto my husband, I'm like, I the I
can't watch this right now.
There was a lot of thingssimilar in 2012, too.
So it really does come down toif we learn how to manage to
(38:51):
reset our buttons, to recognizewhen a button gets pushed, to
think about our expectations inthe moment, and I'll talk about
the rest of it in a minute, butit's all there in episode 37.
We build better relationships.
And at the end of the day,whether it's 2012 or 2020 or
(39:14):
2024, it's always gonna comedown to how are you and I
interacting with each other?
And what positive, whatconstructive way can we help
each other and then in that helpthe world be a better place?
Right.
And I know that's you know, somepeople may be rolling their eyes
(39:36):
listening to this, which by theway is a contempt move, so don't
be rolling your eyes out there.
But it it it is that because itpushes buttons, it is that
understanding that a button getspushed, my amygdala goes off,
and and back to this overwhelmor frozen state feeling right
(39:57):
now is that our amygdala, as wetalked about again in episode
37, we talk about it in resetyour buttons, is on high alert
and and it's its job, right, tokeep us safe.
So it's always scanning.
Is it, you know, do I need tofight, flight, or freeze?
And then you know, someone addedin fun somewhere along the way.
(40:19):
And and using the moment to, andI just read about this, so this
isn't mine, but I loved it.
Literally, like you can put yourhands over your heart and say to
yourself, I'm okay.
It's safe right now.
And the reason for that is youneed to tell your amygdala it's
(40:40):
okay.
It's like soothing a child,right?
Or soothing your pet whenthey're nervous.
And so if you can start by justthat moment, like I'm safe in
this moment, and then proceedfrom there, what expectations
aren't getting met, what senseof self, right?
What um how to emphasize yourcore values, take stock, disarm.
(41:04):
But it starts with I've got toslow that down because what we
know more today than when Iwrote the book is not only is
the amygdala getting activated,but then the cortisol is just
getting released, right?
Because it's back to our fight,flight, or freeze.
Right.
And those are the you know,those too much of that becomes
very dangerous in our in oursystems.
SPEAKER_06 (41:25):
Yeah.
So uh I guess, you know, to yourpoint, regardless of what year
it is and what's going on, weowe it to ourselves to be able
to reset our own buttons.
So since last we spoke, whathave you done with your reset
model?
How have you shared that?
Because it sounds like the needhas not changed, the need is
(41:48):
still there.
SPEAKER_07 (41:49):
Yeah, yeah.
So we I think we were oh, I knowwe were doing this in 22.
We were doing a lot ofleadership training that
included and incorporated thereset model.
And now, and I also had evenbefore that, it started a
podcast.
Nothing is as wonderful as yourpodcast.
And and and I say that it inhonoring of you, but also
(42:13):
sincerely, like I was terrified.
It was only on our website.
I'm like, we cannot put it outin public because I was too
afraid of what people might sayabout it, right?
So I was very insecure about it.
Since I'm surprised, I know,right?
But yeah, I can stand in frontof people and talk all day long,
but like don't have me out thereand have people be able to
(42:34):
listen to a podcast.
How silly, right?
I can even interview on apodcast, but it there was just
something, there was a there wasa there was a button that needed
to be pushed.
And so what I found was we havefound a studio that is run here
in town, and the folks that runthat studio, and it's called
(42:56):
Focal Groove and Groove Studio,are fabulous people.
And they are they've helped meto get over the edge, right?
We talk about the edge, and andso they've they and they did it
very gently, they didn't shoveme, but you know, because fears
I had were I'm gonna be, youwant to videotape me?
What are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_06 (43:17):
So I'm right there with you on that one, right?
SPEAKER_07 (43:19):
And so now we have a YouTube channel and we have four
or five episodes up, and we getto listen to other people's
career journeys almost.
And and I get to listen to whatdid they recognize, what where
were where were theirexpectations.
So we apply the model to thesome of those stories, and I'm
(43:41):
looking to apply the model tosome other other places as well.
So there's the personal use ofreset your buttons, and then
there's the life planning use orcareer planning use.
And so along those lines, wealso launched a 90 day reset
sprint.
We just relaunched it.
We're finishing it up.
(44:02):
And the theme of it was should Istay or should I go?
For people who are trying todecide if they stay in, you
know, do I want to stay in myjob?
Do I want to leave?
If I want to stay, what do Ineed to do?
Right.
So so what is a sprint exactly?
So a sprint is a 90-daycommitment working with me live
(44:23):
as well as a community ofpeople, a cohort.
We limit it to about 12 people.
And we walk through the resetmodel and then we walk through a
version of uh of a smart goalmodel.
So I've I've triggered I'vetweaked the SMART goal model to
align better with the resetmodel.
(44:44):
And so there's education,there's classes with it, like
what does it mean to reset yourbuttons?
What does it mean to havemeasurable goals?
And and through that, we'relooking at what is the thing in
my life that I want to reset.
The other thing we offer withit, which is even more popular,
and I'm thinking about justsometimes offering this as a
(45:06):
standalone, is something wecreated called the pop-up
productivity session.
And those run anywhere from 90minutes to two hours and 15
minutes.
We use the Pomodoro method, butagain, because it's a group of
people working together to getsomething done, uh we take
breaks every at the end of 25minutes, we take a five-minute
(45:28):
break and check in.
And one of my favorite thingsthat we've learned through it
is, and you you may or may nothave ever done this, but if
you've gone to do something, andas you go to do it in your head,
you hear, well, but before that,I need to do this.
Yes.
Yes, right?
Like, like one of my favoritesis you know, in in in our
(45:48):
cohorts, we're gonna start,we're gonna work on something,
but first I'm gonna get a cup ofcoffee, and then I go down in
the kitchen to get the cup ofcoffee and I get the cream out
of the refrigerator, and I seethat oh, the vegetables are
starting to go.
So, well, maybe I'll start thevegetable soup.
And before you know it, thething that we needed to do or
(46:08):
said we were gonna do that wereally didn't want to do anyway,
we let all the butt first get infront of it.
SPEAKER_06 (46:14):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I am so guilty of that.
Yeah, so it's part of itsmenoprange brain.
SPEAKER_07 (46:20):
Oh yeah, yeah, and there's that too.
And then all the like I realizethat I really do have to turn
off my other windows when I'mworking on emails because it's
just too easy to have like, oh,something on LinkedIn, and then
I go over to LinkedIn, and thenfrom LinkedIn, something in
there I have to read, and Inever get back to finishing the
(46:41):
email or you know, it's hourslater.
Right.
So pop-up productivities arereally fun and a critical part
for our teams to be, and it'sindividuals.
We do also we've done it within-tack teams and organizations.
SPEAKER_06 (46:58):
I was gonna ask, is it open to the general public?
Like, can they go to yourwebsite and sign up for a 90-day
sprint if they want to?
SPEAKER_07 (47:05):
Yeah, yeah.
So we like I said, we justfinished this one.
We're gonna look at the calendarand see we're looking at
launching the next one in Augustso that people have the summer
off.
Um but I may run some pop-upproductivities or just you know,
some 30-day challenges betweennow and August.
But our August one will startthe end of August and run
August, September, October, andthen the first two weeks of
(47:28):
November.
Okay.
SPEAKER_06 (47:29):
And then you one thing you mentioned, and uh I I
know what it is, but I'm notsure everybody else does.
You mentioned the Pomodoromethod.
Can you explain that?
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_07 (47:41):
So the the story I read about how did it get why is
it called the Pomodoro method,is because the gentleman who
created it was a college studentand he was trying to work on his
thesis or something, and then hehad to get turned in.
And he recognized he probablyhad his own butt first.
I don't think he called it that,but he would get distracted.
(48:05):
So he would set a timer and work25-minute segments and take a
five to 15 minute break, or he'dwork an hour.
And in the idea is that you areworking a concentrated set of
time, you take a break and thenyou come back to it and turn
everything else off.
That's really critical, is thatyou have to turn the other
(48:26):
pieces off.
But the reason it's calledPomodoro, and you'll appreciate
this, this is kind of fun, ishis timer was a little pomodoro
tomato, like a shape like apomodoro tomato, because he was
in Italy and he was that's whathe had for his timer, and so he
called it the Pomodoro method.
SPEAKER_06 (48:47):
Oh, that's so funny.
That's so funny.
So it sounds like, yeah, maybeyou haven't expanded, but maybe
you're offering with morefrequency using reset.
I'm so excited that you'veyou've got your podcast revamped
and you now you've beaten me,you're in video.
I'm still I'm still in audio.
(49:09):
I think that's fantastic.
And then running some of theseprograms, you know, outside of
your team clients that that youhave.
Yeah.
Is is great.
Are you finding anything newabout what folks are struggling
with right now and how the resetmodel can help them navigate
(49:32):
some of the the current daychallenges?
SPEAKER_07 (49:35):
I think it's the overwhelm.
So what's different between fouryears ago and coming out of the
pandemic, that was anxiety, thatwas nervousness, that was
anxiousness, it was uh, youknow, what's happening, what's
next, how do I stay healthy, howdo I keep my family healthy?
We knew what the problems werethat we needed to put our
(49:56):
attention on.
And so when I talk about ourcurrent state of the headwinds,
there's there's so muchhappening that we are in a in a
freeze state when we talk aboutfight, flight, or freeze, right?
We're in a freeze state.
So if I'm working in anorganization, I don't know if I
(50:16):
should leave or not right now orstay within the security of it.
But in a if I stay in thesecurity of my job, how secure
am I actually?
Right?
SPEAKER_05 (50:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (50:26):
Because again, budgets are frozen, AI is here,
pick up pick an issue.
There's all kinds of challengesthat that the people that are
trying to even make decisionscan't make right now because
we're in this place ofuncertainty, which brings
overwhelm.
(50:46):
So, what the overwhelm lookslike is we need to do more with
less.
So, for example, we I was juston a call recently for our
industry, training budgets arebeing cut, long-term projects
are not being funded the waythey used to be.
We're moving back to what'scalled one and done, right?
And people are just being askedbecause they also don't have
(51:10):
time to commit to a long-termleadership program.
They can grab two hours and say,okay, let's let's you know,
let's teach them something inthose two hours, which is fine,
except you and I both know theretention on that is just not
going to be there if you can'tcontinue to support it as you go
forward.
SPEAKER_06 (51:29):
Yeah, you don't you don't learn to execute in class,
you learn concepts and theories,then you go back on the job and
practice and and experience isthe teacher.
SPEAKER_07 (51:40):
There you go.
That you said it beautifully.
I couldn't have said it.
I truly I could not have said itas eloquently as you just did.
That's it.
SPEAKER_06 (51:47):
That's I I have screamed it from the
mountaintops.
SPEAKER_07 (51:50):
Yeah, yeah.
But it and and the challenge isyou and I both know that, and
and those who are controllingthe budgets know it as well.
But you only have so much moneyto do so many things with
sometimes.
And the bottom line is, and I'vesaid this recently a few times,
(52:11):
and people get a little takenaback by it, but businesses are
in business to make money.
Right.
I mean, if they don't makemoney, they can't pay their
employees, they can't havetraining, they can't offer
benefits, they can't.
So at the end of the day, we asemployees, as vendors, as
strategic partners, our job isto help the business to make
(52:35):
money.
And I know that's gonna open upa lot of there's that statement
alone just pushed a lot ofbuttons for some people who are
listening, right?
Including my own.
But at the end of the day,that's that truly is the bottom
line.
If the company or theorganization is not profitable,
or if they're nonprofit butthey're meeting their their
(52:55):
obligations, then we we can'tkeep the doors open.
Right.
And and so you know, aside fromsalaries and who's getting paid
more and who's getting paidless, I completely get it.
I understand I'm this is not apolitical statement.
It's just this is the state ofwhere we're at right now.
SPEAKER_06 (53:15):
Right.
So and all the all the morereason why the work that you do
with the productivity sprints,the should I stay or should I go
90-day sprint, and again,reinforcing the reset your
buttons model is so importantfor folks professional
relationships, personalrelationships, and just to give
(53:40):
themselves peace of mind and beable to be their safe harbor
within a sea of of uh of chaos.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just a different type ofchaos.
We're not putting COVID to thename anymore.
SPEAKER_07 (53:54):
Right, it's it's the uncertainty.
Yeah, really, because when weput the name COVID, like, oh,
this is what's happening, right?
Once you can name it, you put aplan to resolve it to solve the
problem.
SPEAKER_06 (54:07):
Yeah, and this is a little nebulous.
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, well, Mary Elizabeth,thank you so much for the
important work that you continueto do with your reset your
buttons model and helping folks,you know, helping to enrich
folks' lives as they navigate,you know, the choppy waters.
(54:28):
Where can folks find you tolearn more about your sprints
and and some of the other thingsthat you're offering?
So check out your podcast.
SPEAKER_07 (54:38):
Yeah, thank you.
So we have our star resourceswebsite, which is
starresources.net.
And then we also have uhresetyourbuttons.com website and
our YouTube channel that has thepodcast in both video and well,
(54:59):
it's pushed out.
This is my technology knowledge,so limited.
It's being pushed out on thethrough the podcast channels, so
it should be on your favoritepodcast channel.
And then if you want to watchthe video or listen to it
through YouTube, it's StarResources, all lowercase, all
(55:19):
one one long words,S-T-A-R-R-E-S-O-U-R-C-E-S.
And they are the Reset YourButtons podcasts.
SPEAKER_06 (55:27):
Okay.
I will make sure those links arein the show description for
anybody that wants to revisit,or if they're listening to this
for the first time, can checkout your website, check out your
tools.
I'll make sure there's a link tothe book because without the
book and the whole model itself,you know, we we've got nothing
(55:48):
to work with.
So I'll make sure there's a linkfor that as well.
SPEAKER_07 (55:51):
Thank you, Helen.
I appreciate it.
I I if I could just say one morething that came to me while we
were talking is that the reasonthe model, the method, and the
mindset works is because it canhelp you individually.
Individually, we can helporganizationally or team or
relationally.
That's why it's called createrelationships that work.
(56:12):
But what I thought about withwhat you were just saying a few
minutes ago is again, in in thisstate of uncertainty and
overwhelm, the only thing youcan control is how you respond
when a button is pushed.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_06 (56:27):
Exactly.
And on that note, thank you somuch for your time this morning.
I really appreciate it andappreciate it, and I love
catching up with you.
SPEAKER_07 (56:38):
Thank you for inviting me back.
SPEAKER_06 (56:44):
I still can't believe it's been four years
since we last met these folks.
Time has flown.
So much exciting stuff going onfor them, and they continue to
follow their passions, which aretaking them on incredible
journeys, new experiences, andexpanding their capacities.
(57:05):
My little nugget of inspirationfrom Rua, the youngest assorted
conversations guest, is to neverstop networking.
She could seriously teach aclass on it.
Her networking skills have ledher to some pretty incredible
encounters and the beginning ofsome really great relationships.
(57:25):
Josh O'Connell's inspiration forme is not being afraid to take a
leap of faith.
Leaving a job, movingcross-country, all in the name
of following his love of writingabout all things casino, has
turned into a magnificent blendof passion and the benefit of
all his previous work skills,putting him on the cutting edge
(57:48):
with one of the top YouTubecreators and casino gaming
influencers.
And then there's Mary ElizabethMurphy and her work continuing
to make the reset model moreaccessible through new channels
so we can develop ourselves intobeing our calmest oasis in the
midst of the chaos harbor thatlife can sometimes be.
(58:19):
Jump down to the show notes forlinks to their original episodes
as well as new or updated linksthat they mentioned in their
little update.
And while you're there, don'tforget to connect with me.
All my socials are linked thereas well.
As always, thanks for listening,and I'll see you in two weeks.
Don't forget to hit subscribe or follow wherever
you're listening to this podcastnow.
That way you don't miss any ofthe great conversations I have
coming up.
Thanks, and here's this week'sepisode.
(00:23):
Everyday people following theirpassions.
SPEAKER_08 (00:27):
That's probably like one of the highlights of my life
so far.
Just being able to be creativelike that.
I'm able to.
SPEAKER_02 (00:36):
And then I decided to get another hive, and that
turned into a lot of hives.
As long as I can do that, I wantto be a good citizen.
Help people out.
SPEAKER_06 (00:47):
Putting themselves out there, taking chances, and
navigating challenges along theway.
SPEAKER_04 (00:54):
I I absolutely identified with having stage
ride because, you know, anytimeI went on stage, I just felt
like I was having a hot attack.
SPEAKER_01 (01:01):
Very first lap, very first practice session, I
crashed, turned the car upsidedown, made a spectacle of
myself, and I got back on thathorse and started riding again.
SPEAKER_06 (01:10):
As they pursue what makes them happy and brings them
joy.
SPEAKER_00 (01:16):
As long as people are having a good time and I
have the opportunity to putsmiles on people's faces, I love
what I do.
SPEAKER_07 (01:22):
I have done things that I never thought I could do.
SPEAKER_02 (01:27):
To have somebody tell me how real it looks and
how, you know, from their actualmemory.
Because that's telling me Icaptured what I was trying to
get.
SPEAKER_06 (01:38):
Welcome to a started conversation.
I'm your host, Helen.
Good morning, good afternoon, orgood evening, wherever you are.
This week I got to take a strolldown memory lane and revisit
three guests who have continuedbeing everyday people doing
(02:00):
extraordinary things since wefirst chatted with them four
years ago.
I catch up with our youngestguest, our man of international
mystery guest, and the secondmost downloaded guest on
Assorted Conversations.
Yeah, I know what you'rethinking.
Why not the most downloadedguest?
(02:23):
Well, because we couldn't getour schedules to line up.
But rest assured, he'll be onthe next assorted guest update
show.
Sit back, relax, enjoy thisweek's episode, and I'll see you
on the other side.
(02:44):
We met this guest back in 2021during episode 14, the film
blogger conversation.
We discussed how it sick.
She created a film bloggingwebsite, recruited other
Cinephiles to contribute to thesite, and was beginning to
create a community dedicated toa mutual love of all things
(03:05):
cinema and theater.
She was a senior in high schoolback then, and at this time she
is now getting ready to graduatefrom Ithaca College in 2026.
I am so happy to welcome backRua Faye.
Hi, Rua.
Hi, thank you for having meback.
How are you?
SPEAKER_09 (03:25):
I'm great.
I've got about a month left ofschool, and then it's I'm moving
to Los Angeles and it's off tothe big leagues.
SPEAKER_06 (03:32):
Oh, fantastic.
So let's get caught up on whatyou've been doing over the past
four years.
SPEAKER_09 (03:39):
So in 2024, I was lucky enough to attend my first
film festival as an intern.
I interned at the Cannes FilmFestival, and then a few months
later, I attended my first filmfestival as press.
I did the Toronto InternationalFilm Festival, also known as
TIFF.
And then I just kept applyingand applying to other ones.
(04:01):
I've done South by Southwest,Tribeca.
Oh, I just got back from myfirst sun dance.
My school set, I asked my schoolto pay for my accommodation, and
that, you know, was a huge help.
This year around, since I'mgraduating, I won't be going to
Cannes this year, but I'vebecome, I think, one of the
youngest people to get approvedfor press at Cannes.
(04:25):
And I'm sending one of mywriters.
And in the fall, I will bepursuing my master's degree at
the American Film Institute.
SPEAKER_06 (04:35):
Oh my gosh, that's fantastic.
Holy cow.
So you attended all of thosefilm festivals.
And assuming that Cinemastersbenefited from that, were you
able to write and review and andshare synopsis of the movies
that you were seeing?
SPEAKER_09 (04:53):
Yeah, I think it helps going there because not
everyone, I mean, like when amovie comes out on Netflix,
everyone can watch it, butbefore a movie's had a
theatrical release, there's amysticism around it.
And, you know, you people areeager to see what the very few
who've already seen it think.
So that was yeah, you know, itit's been a big help.
(05:18):
And I would also say like thebest part about the film
festivals is how educationalthey are.
Like as a film student, I'velearned more in just a year of
going to a few film festivalsthan I have at any single
singular class I've had inundergrad.
SPEAKER_06 (05:38):
Really?
SPEAKER_09 (05:38):
In terms of in terms of not not not film as a medium,
but in terms of the industry andhow to network with people.
There really is nothing like it.
Experience is the best teacher,and that's what these film
puzzles have taught me.
SPEAKER_05 (05:55):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_06 (05:56):
Yeah.
A lot of the things I know thatyou've been involved in have
required a bunch of networking.
And you are out there wherewe're hooked up on LinkedIn.
You're out there multiple timesa week with with different posts
of what you've gotten involvedwith.
(06:18):
Well, who are some or what aresome of the important
connections you've made thathave really opened your eyes up
to film and other possibilitieswithin the medium?
SPEAKER_09 (06:31):
Well, I think one of my I think my funniest story I
have networking.
I I use this story to tellpeople that networking can
really happen anywhere.
I was at the 2025 anniversaryscreening of One Flew Over the
Cuckoo's Nest at Cannes.
And they had one of theproducers up there, Paul Zance,
who came to talk about what thefilm means and how it's about
(06:54):
anti-fascism.
And he's like, Listen, I'm afilmmaker from the US and we're
in a bit of a crisis right nowin terms of that.
And he just had a lot of reallyinspiring words, I thought.
And I went up to him after theshow and I said, Oh, thank you
for your for your words.
This movie means a lot to me.
Have a great night.
And then I went to the bathroomand there was like this older
(07:15):
woman there, like thisbeautiful, like older woman,
definitely former model.
And I said, Oh my god, I loveyour dress.
And she said, Thank you.
And thank you for those nicewords you said to my boy, to my
boyfriend.
And I was like, Your boyfriend.
And next thing you know, I'minterviewing them both the next
day.
She sends me a free copy of herbook.
He's a he's produced like threeOscar-winning films.
(07:40):
He was amazing.
So wow, that was fantastic.
That was a great connection, andit came out of literally
nowhere.
The bathroom.
Yeah, literally just tellingsomeone you like their dress in
the bathroom.
SPEAKER_06 (07:52):
Yeah.
Oh, that's funny.
What are have you had any wowmoments, you know, that have
kind of blown your mind as toyou know what you've been able
to experience?
SPEAKER_09 (08:01):
Yeah, I mean, I got to interview my favorite
screenwriter, Charlie Kaufman.
He won the Oscar for EternalSunshine of the Spotless Mind.
He has also directed some reallygreat films that I love, like
Anomaly, Stuff Thinking ofEnding Things, Synecdoche, New
York.
I think he's just adaptation.
(08:22):
No, that was Spike Jones, but hewrote that.
I think like it was so surrealinterviewing him because he had
a he had a short film at AFIFest that he directed, and it
was so cool just like beingfreshly 21 and getting to talk
to someone I've admired for solong like that.
(08:43):
Like that was crazy.
Yeah.
I also got to meet he's a bit ofa Massachusetts legend, his name
is Frederick Wiseman, and backin the day he directed a film at
Bridgewater State Asylum calledTitty Cut Follies, and it was
about sort of the treatment ofthe criminally, not criminally
(09:05):
people who were deemed insaneback then, and like a talent
show they had in a mentalinstitution, and it catalyzed a
lot of change.
He died, I believe, in his late90s, like two months ago.
SPEAKER_06 (09:32):
Yeah.
Great.
Have you been starstruck at anypoint?
SPEAKER_09 (09:37):
Yes.
Yes.
Oh my god, I have like yeah, I Ipoint to two people in
particular that I have I haven'tworked with them.
I've just been in the same roomas them and I've talked to them
briefly.
And they could not be moredifferent.
(09:59):
I have only been starstruck byTim Robinson, comedian Tim
Robinson, and Jaffer Panahi, whois a he's a Jaffer Panahi.
He is an Iranian filmmaker whojust won the Palmda Orat Cannes.
He is very well known for makingfilms critical of the Persian
(10:25):
government, and he's done prisontime for his film.
So I got to see him give a talkat AFI in the fall, and it was
just like it was so insane.
Actually, I do I do have onemore.
I'm forgetting one.
And this has nothing to do withwork.
This was a chance encounter inLA.
(10:45):
I was working on SunsetBoulevard for like six months,
and one day my my roommate whousually came to pick me up from
work was at like a live tapingof like the price is right or
something.
So I decided I was like, youknow what?
I'm gonna just gonna I'm justgonna take a walk down Sunset
Boulevard.
It's a beautiful warm night.
I'll just like see what's up.
And I walk into this bookstorecalled Book Soup and I walk in
(11:08):
and I run into my childhoodhero, Baz Lerman.
And we're we're in a bookstoretogether, and I look at him and
I just go, I'm sorry, are youBaz Luhrmann?
He goes, Am I in trouble?
And I go, No, you're like thereason I'm here.
Like, and he was with his wife,and I went, is that Oscar
(11:30):
winning costume designerCatherine Martin?
He went, Yeah, it is.
And I was like, He was like, Doyou want a picture with me?
I was like, I would love to.
And I just talked to him aboutlike how strictly ballroom, like
I watched that with my mom allthe time, and how Moulin Rouge
was like my first favoritemovie.
Like it was just it was insane.
And that happened literally in arandom chance encounter at a
(11:54):
bookstore on Sunset Boulevard.
SPEAKER_06 (11:56):
Oh, that's funny.
That's gotta be wild.
You are very well versed in yourwriters and directors, and I
mean, I'm lucky if I canremember the actors in some of
my favorite movies.
Let's talk about Cinemasters fora little bit.
You found out that one of yourarticles or one of your reviews
was posted in a museum.
(12:19):
Did I get that right?
SPEAKER_09 (12:20):
Yeah, so that same that same woman that I I
complimented her dress and Iinterviewed her husband, the
producer, he his family, he'spart of a very illustrious
filmmaking legacy.
His uncle was extraordinaryproducer Saul Zance, and his
name's Paul Zance, it'shilarious.
(12:42):
But I believe Paul donated quitea bit of his film collection to
the Academy Museum, and his hisgirlfriend texted me on WhatsApp
and she said, Oh my god, likethey have a press section, and
because yours is like the mostrecent interview he's done, it's
(13:03):
in the museum.
And so that interview is now inthe archive for the Academy
Museum, and you can look it upif you want to go to the
archive, and it's insane.
SPEAKER_06 (13:17):
Yeah, well, that's amazing to me.
So, how has Cinemasters grownover the past four years?
SPEAKER_09 (13:27):
It's grown not only in terms of numbers, but I think
in terms of scope.
I remember like for a while Iwas just writing about any movie
I found interesting, but nowwe've turned into a lot more of
a film news publication where weexclusively cover, not
exclusively, but we mostly covernew films like you'd see at like
(13:48):
Hollywood, Hollywood Reporter,Indie Wire when back then I was
just any movie that I saw Iwould review even if it had been
out for like 20 years, and Ifind that kind of silly.
Like I know I've seen people whohave like like movie review
Instagram accounts will they'llreview like The Little Mermaid
from like the 80s.
(14:08):
I'm like, what are you doing?
Yeah.
We've seen this.
That movie's like almost 40years old.
No one's like, oh, I wonder if Ishould watch its Disney classic.
Let me see what this random filmstudent in college thinks.
Like, no.
So I decided to really make apivot towards new movies that
are coming out because it's in alot of ways I consider myself a
(14:32):
product reviewer.
Um because you know, if people,if you're asking people to spend
their hard-earned money, youneed to give them a product
that's worth that money andthey're worth their time and
worth their attention.
And I'd like to think that areview of mine has convinced
someone to see a movie theymaybe wouldn't have seen or
(14:52):
discouraged them to see a movieI think they would have
regretted seeing, like that kindof thing.
Right, right.
SPEAKER_06 (14:59):
Oh, great.
How many, how many writers doyou have?
SPEAKER_09 (15:05):
I have probably including myself, I think three
probably four regular writers.
We do have guest writers, guestcontributors, festival
correspondents, that kind ofthing.
Yeah, I've had a few people justwrite one-off articles for me,
but the majority of write-upsare by myself, Eric Hardman, and
(15:29):
Zachary Zanato.
SPEAKER_06 (15:31):
That's great.
That's great.
And and you know, you youoriginally started Cinemasters
to kind of create a community offolks that enjoyed cinema just
like you did.
And you all you also mentionedthat you know you you had kind
(15:52):
of coached or mentored some ofthe younger folks in high school
as as you were coming up, youknow, through theater and drama
and things like that.
Have you continued yourmentorship?
SPEAKER_09 (16:06):
I think I have.
I've been I've been teachingworkshops on film journalism and
criticism at school.
I got asked by my professor lastweek if I could speak for 30
minutes during our big lecturebecause the topic happened to be
film festivals and networking.
So I gave some people like alittle bit of advice.
(16:27):
I I brought some of my badges sothey could see what they look
like and the terms on the backsof them.
And yeah.
Yeah, I think I think I have.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (16:38):
Yeah, you you sound like you have.
You sound like you have.
Over the past four years, arethere any projects that you've
worked on for school that youare particularly proud of?
SPEAKER_09 (16:50):
I can't help but I'm in the middle of my thesis right
now, where we're just editing,but I can't help but think of
this one I helped on in freshmanyear called The Pisser, which
was essentially like literallyjust like a call-out because all
my friends and I had lived inthe same building, and then this
one guy moved in, and all of asudden there was like pee all
(17:11):
over our communal toilet seats.
So we made a a neo-noir crimefilm about this old-timey
detective and it's shot in blackand white, and it's about this
guy trying to find like themythic pisser, like who keeps
leaving the toilet seat wet, andlike I like it is shot insanely
(17:37):
well.
Yeah, I still think it's reallygood.
I was I was only a productionassistant on it.
My friends really did the heavylifting, but that it's a funny
concept.
Yeah, we we my friends theypromoted like Instagram ads and
held up posters just sayingwho's the pisser?
(17:57):
Find out in the auditorium onthis day.
And we had like a packed houseof people trying to find out who
the pisser was, and like thewhole twist was that oh, the it
was the detective's alternatepersonality.
Like I still think it's great.
I think it's one of the betterthings I've worked on in
college.
SPEAKER_06 (18:14):
That's funny.
What's next for you?
You said you're moving out toLA.
SPEAKER_09 (18:21):
Yeah, so next month of my life is gonna be full of a
lot of changes.
I'm graduating with mybachelor's in film, my BFA in
film, and then I'm getting myMFA in film producing from the
American Film Institute in inLos Angeles, which has been a
dream of mine since I was a kid.
I can't believe I got in rightout of undergrad.
(18:43):
All my classmates are like 35and have kids, and I've been
working in the industry for along time, so I have a lot to
learn from them.
And I've always gotten alongbetter with older people.
So I think it'll be a greatopportunity to learn from the
best of the best and make somereally great connections and
some amazing films.
SPEAKER_06 (19:05):
Yeah, absolutely.
So after AFI, what do you hopeto do with your bachelor's and
your master's?
SPEAKER_09 (19:12):
I hopefully I want to be a career producer.
What's great about producing isthat you work for a studio most
of the time.
So it's basically the creativeequivalent of having a stable
office job.
So, like you have an office, youhave regular income, but you're
(19:34):
making movies.
So it's not really the gig-basedthing that you would get if you
were a camera person or anactor.
Exactly.
So hopefully I I become part ofa really good studio and get to
make some great projects.
SPEAKER_06 (19:49):
Oh, I am so excited for you.
I mean, getting into AFI, yourfirst shot, coming right out of
undergrad is is amazing.
So congratulations on that.
And again, I cannot wait to seewhere you go.
When we first spoke, I I kepttelling Maureen, my my partner
(20:09):
at the time, I love being at thebeginning of a story.
And even though we're four yearslater, I still feel like we're
at the beginning of a story withyou, and I'm so happy.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Well, best of luck, and we willdefinitely stay in touch.
Of course.
(20:30):
Thanks, Rua.
Yeah, bye.
Thank you.
And I'm back with an update froma guest who is the most
internationally downloadedepisode, sort of the James Bond
of Assorted Conversations.
We met him in episode 17, theGambling Writer Conversation,
(20:53):
and I am so happy to welcomeback Josh O'Connell.
Hey, Josh.
SPEAKER_03 (20:58):
Hey, Helen, so good to talk to you again.
SPEAKER_06 (21:00):
It is so good to see you again.
How are you?
SPEAKER_03 (21:03):
I'm doing wonderful.
It's always good to chat.
SPEAKER_06 (21:05):
Yes, yes, definitely.
Now, last we left you, you werewriting content and managing all
of your content, which was arepository of content for the
casino gaming arena from travelexperiences to debunking casino
and slot machine myths toexplaining in layman's terms how
(21:29):
to get the most out of rewardsprograms.
And that whole entity was knownas know your slots.
And I know it helped me out somuch back when I was visiting
the casino a lot more.
SPEAKER_03 (21:41):
So know your slots reached 1,350 articles with
daily posting throughout theentire cycle from May 2019
through to the end of February2023.
At the time, it was a side hobbyfor me.
So I was doing that alongside afull time job and you know
putting in some time on the sideon now.
And weekends.
I was hit an inflection point.
(22:03):
It was one of those things whereit was definitely going
somewhere, but I didn't know howfar it would go.
And to really push it would haverequired a lot more time and
resources.
And I wasn't sure that I wasready for that commitment.
SPEAKER_06 (22:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (22:18):
Interestingly, though, at the same time, I had
outreach from a friend of minewho we both know, Brian
Christopher, who is of BrianChristopher Slots on YouTube
Fame.
And he sort of this was at oneof the conferences.
We spoke about this in the lastconversation, T2E, which is the
biggest industry converseconvention every year.
And he basically took me out todinner, and within two minutes,
(22:41):
I realized it was a jobinterview.
He started asking me questionsabout my life and my work.
And what ultimately came to bewas this idea for a project
which became a website that welaunched together called Flip
the Switch.
And so Flip the Switch haselements of what I've been
writing about all along thecasino myths, the best practices
for you know keeping it fun andnot blowing money you can't
(23:04):
afford.
You know, responsible gaming'salways been part of what I do
and what Brian does too,honestly.
So that's that's a nice match.
But also we ventured into areasI had not been writing about
before.
So for instance, iGaming andsportsbooks really have exploded
over the past few years, inparticular with sports books,
and iGaming's kind of fallingslowly behind.
But that's like another elementof what has come into the
(23:25):
picture.
And so having resources to helppeople understand how that works
and how that differs from beinginside a casino and you know how
to manage things that wayversus, you know, the ATM trick
doesn't work anymore when youcan just deposit more money from
your computer, right?
So all the differences that thatnow happened there.
So that was sort of part one ofwhat's become, you know, a
really interesting arc that'sled to me moving across the
(23:48):
country.
I was living in Connecticut, nottoo far from you in New England
when we when we spoke the firsttime, and now I'm in Palm
Springs, California.
And I'm doing other things thanthe website.
So I'm doing content marketing,which is something I've done
throughout my whole career, andyou know, and with writing in
terms in terms of that, it'salways been an element to what I
do.
But then also paid marketing,which has also been a part of
(24:09):
what I do, working on ways toevolve things like our shop,
which is you know, merch drivenaround the casino, some theme to
Brian, some theme to the casinomore broadly, um, and helping to
continue to evolve that.
And I have a I did somee-commerce work when I was
younger.
So it's taken every piece of mylife and the work that I've done
(24:31):
over a 25-year career and sortof put it all together into this
job that I will honestly say wassomewhat crafted for me.
And I'm very lucky that that'sthat's the scenario that
happened.
But it was sort of a it was ananswer to my my question, right?
Like, how do I do what I do, butdo it in a way that's more
sustainable?
And one way is to find a job ata place that not only wants
(24:52):
that, but other things that Ican provide.
And and so it's been sort of areally nice match between BC
Ventures, which is the companythat it all lives in, and and
the work that I'm doing.
SPEAKER_06 (25:01):
Yeah.
Oh, that that is amazing.
I love how everything came fullcircle for you.
Every aspect of your life, everyexperience that you had, the
path that you were on.
Little did you know it was gonnalead you to something that, you
know, kind of brought it alltogether.
And I think that is just so, socool.
SPEAKER_03 (25:19):
It's true.
And, you know, sometimes youknow you're ready for something
different.
I had been talking with mypartner for over a year that,
you know, maybe we don't want tolive in Connecticut anymore.
I'd hit, I was about to hit 30years there.
And then, you know, I'd lived onthe East Coast my entire life.
So the job kind of offered achange of scenery, it offered
something new to work on, itlets my hobby become my
day-to-day work, which is reallyfun and sort of lets me delve
(25:43):
even deeper.
Like, you know, the otherbenefit is which is of course
exciting for what I do, is thatI have even more people that I
know have made relationshipsworth working here that I've
learned so much about what'sgoing on and how things work.
And, you know, those answersthat I was getting sort of
incidentally and here and therenow flow more freely.
And, you know, we talked about,for instance, players' cards and
(26:03):
how people are afraid ofplayers' cards because they
might take away money.
And I had an industry person sayon the record for me a year ago,
you know, there's no way that aslot can even respond to the
player's card in terms of likechanging anything because it's
not designed with thatcapability in mind.
So you know, if it doesn'texist, it can't happen.
And so that's kind of great forme because it's it's no longer
(26:25):
just trust me at my word.
I spoke to someone who saidthis.
It's now like, you know, here'sthis person at this company
confirming that this doesn'texist.
And so it just takes what I wasdoing before and really levels
it up to a to a new place, whichis awesome.
SPEAKER_06 (26:38):
Now, with all the change that's gone on, and it
was funny before we got on Mike,you pointed out it's been like
four and a half years since welast spoke.
And I was like, whoa, I can'tbelieve it's been that long.
As the change happened, eventhough it was even though it was
a good thing, as the changehappened, did you ever struggle
with like really followingthrough on that change and and
(26:59):
moving forward?
Were there any was there anyhesitation about leaving the
comfort?
SPEAKER_03 (27:05):
So I don't think so.
You know, I was I I was my lastjob was really great, and I and
so there's there's something tobe said about that.
And when you're in a good placewith a good job, it's sometimes
hard to sort of envision whatthe other side will look like.
But I've always had a bit of acalculated risk taking.
I guess that's probably why thegambling writer works for me.
And I sort of looked at it and,you know, is it scary moving
(27:30):
across the country when my myfamily is still back in New
England?
Yeah, a little bit.
And I missed them, but I'vegotten to see them, I've gotten
out home and they've come backhere.
So that's been solved throughthat.
And, you know, I I I also knewand trusted the person I was
going to work for, and thatmeans a lot.
Most of the jobs I've had in mylifetime have come out of
connections I've made beforegetting that job.
(27:50):
Uh the guy I worked for beforethis, we built three companies
together.
So like we knew each other sincewe were teenagers.
And so and I still speak to hima couple times a week, and we we
regularly communicate and jokearound and so forth.
So, you know, I I I feel verylucky from that perspective that
that's the trajectory of mycareer to date.
And so this was no exception.
It was, it was, it felt like theright move.
(28:12):
I was ready to do something new,and it's pushed me in in in ways
that I felt like I was ready tobe pushed.
So that was also the otherthing, too.
It's like you want to continueto evolve and grow your skills,
right?
You want to continue to learnnew things.
As you were as we were talkingbefore getting on here, you were
talking about some new skillsyou were working on yourself,
right?
So I think that's that's whatkeeps you energized and keeps
you excited to go into workevery day.
(28:34):
And yeah, so this has been greatfor me from that perspective.
SPEAKER_06 (28:37):
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, uh, you know, your storyis a little similar to the story
that's in progress for me, whichI'm I'm moving from a learning
and development career into thepodcasting, broadcasting,
voiceover world.
And I've started my own podcastnetwork.
I have this podcast, and therewill be another one coming up
(28:57):
pretty soon about it's acomplete departure from this,
has nothing to do with thesorted conversations, but it is
something I live with every day.
And I want others who who livethat journey the same as I do to
have to have a comfortable placeto come listen, learn, and feel
seen.
So I'm I'm I'm kind of in themiddle of my my story change.
(29:22):
So I know I I know I've got agood mentor in you if I ever get
stuck or get nervous and go, heyJosh, what do you think about
this?
Or did you experience that?
So so that so very cool.
How how do you how do you seeyourself continuing to evolve
with with the gambling with withthe writing and with the
(29:44):
marketing and some of the otherthings that you've worked on for
Brian?
SPEAKER_03 (29:48):
Well, what's been really great about this job is
not only am I leveraging thingsthat I learned from previous
jobs, but also that it allows meto go back to decision making
that I did in my past and sortof look at what's changed since
those decisions.
So I'll just give it, I'll giveone simple example.
Most businesses that you workfor, you might have a
(30:10):
newsletter, right?
And you need newslettersoftware.
And so I you I've used differentplatforms at different points in
my career when I helpedcompanies build websites for
their e-commerce businesses.
I helped them with some of thosethings.
And so I got exposure to manyplatforms, and some of those
platforms still exist, you know,five, ten plus years later, and
some of them don't.
And some new ones have come out,and so you get this opportunity
(30:32):
to sort of look at things againand take a new swing at things
that you've done in the past.
So and then you also get to lookat it from different uh
perspectives, right?
What we need here may not bewhat the business last time that
I was working with needed a fewyears ago, but you get this
chance to look at it.
So that's kind of fun.
I always like exploring andseeing sort of how tech evolves
and how tech hasn't evolvedsometimes and the same little
(30:53):
problems that I had still exist.
And so that's great from myperspective.
That's another way that I kindof keep things fresh and and
don't get too stale and stuck incertain things.
And then sometimes you realizethe tool you've been using all
along is still the right one.
And you know, something you'veinvested a lot of time and
effort into still gets the jobdone.
The site we built, uh, flip thetech we built flip the switch on
(31:13):
is very similar to the tech Ibuilt and know your slots on,
which is very similar to thetech I built other websites on
when I was building websites.
So some of that kind of getsreinvested and some of that gets
reset.
So I think that's one of thethings that's been wonderful
about this job is that I get todo some of that resetting and
relearning and seeing how we cando things better than we used
to.
SPEAKER_06 (31:33):
That is awesome.
So speaking of uh speaking of uhwebsite building, how can folks
follow along with you?
Where can they find you?
Flip the switch, BrianChristopher, BC Ventures Online.
SPEAKER_03 (31:48):
You're gonna be sorry you asked that question
because we have a lot of ways tofollow along with us.
But I'll start with Flip theSwitch, which is one of the
projects that I work on.
So flipthswitch.com is the URL.
That site has had a fastercontent pace than what Know Your
Slots could, which is sort ofone of the things that I'm
excited about.
We're already over 1,500articles and we may hit 2,000
this year depending on ourpacing.
(32:09):
So that site in half the timealready surpassed what we did,
what I did, you know, mostlysolo know your slots.
We also have a contributor teamnow, which is another thing that
I love because you get differentperspectives.
People, uh one of the thingsthat's most important to me is
you're getting perspectives fromplayers.
A lot of times when people arewriting about casino stuff, it's
for the industry, right?
(32:29):
Other casinos, game makers, youknow, those types of things.
Whereas everything we're workingon is designed to talk to other
casino players.
So, you know, we have John, wehave Courtney, we have Robin.
Robin, you might know if you'reif you're a New England listener
because Robin used to have awebsite called Anytime Gambling,
and he decided to shut it downwhen he was retiring.
And I said, Hey, do you want tocome be a voice on our site?
(32:50):
And so now he's been writing forus, and I just I love that we
get to have to keep hisperspective in in the mix for
the players.
Um that's a flipthe switch.com.
We also do have our Facebook andInstagram.
The handle on Facebook is flipthe switch, but the handle on
Instagram is flip the switchgaming.
We had to find one that wasopen.
And then for BC Slots, which isBrian's main channel, BC slots
(33:10):
pretty much across the boardFacebook, Instagram, YouTube,
TikTok.
I feel like I'm forgetting onein there, but pretty much all
the core social media platforms.
And then there's some satellitechannels.
We have BC Bets, which isfocused on the iGaming, which is
the topic I mentioned is one ofthe things I came to help with,
but we also have a videoversion.
And then we have BC Spins, whichcurrently is focused on some of
(33:31):
our greatest hits, but somethingnew usually pops up there from
time to time.
The channel sort of has anevolution.
Over the last six or seven yearshas existed, it's been a few
different things.
So I imagine that evolution willcontinue.
Right now you'll find some ofour clips from from some of the
biggest wins through the historyof the channel, which is
important because Brian just, aswe're recording this, celebrated
10 years doing this this month.
SPEAKER_06 (33:53):
I know, I know.
It's funny, I've been followinghim.
I think I'm due to get myeight-year chip.
SPEAKER_03 (34:00):
Hmm, great.
SPEAKER_06 (34:01):
In in September.
It doesn't make me an OG.
SPEAKER_03 (34:06):
I do have my nine.
I did get that with the becausethe nine-year anniversary of the
fan club, the Rudy's, just wascelebrated this month as well.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (34:13):
Oh wow.
Yeah, I remember when hecelebrated like five, and that
was a big deal.
So funny.
So funny to see how much he'sgrown and so exciting to see how
much you have grown from a verysimilar passion, and now you're
able to collaborate.
It's just so cool.
I couldn't be happier foreverything that's going on for
you, Josh.
(34:34):
So please let's stay in touch.
Thank you so much for taking thetime to get caught up.
SPEAKER_03 (34:41):
Absolutely.
And one last thing, because Ithink it's I want to I want to
document this.
When we last spoke, we weretalking about how to win at the
casino, and you and I bothreally hadn't had particularly
good luck.
But I think it's reallyfascinating that both of us had
a little bit of a streak atdifferent points over the past
couple of years.
And it was just a wonderfulmoment when you had yours, and I
(35:02):
just literally had mine lastweek.
So um I just think it's cool,you know, because you don't go,
you shouldn't go anyway, withthe expectation to win, but when
you do have that moment, it isjust lovely because it adds a
little something extra.
SPEAKER_06 (35:15):
It is, it is.
It's it's like a shot ofadrenaline.
Yes.
It is a shot of adrenaline.
Yep, we definitely have both hadour share of fun in the casinos.
So hopefully I'll get backsomeday soon and I'll be able to
play right next to you in thehigh limit room.
SPEAKER_03 (35:34):
There you go.
That sounds like a plan.
I'll definitely make it back toNew England.
I'll let you know when I do.
SPEAKER_06 (35:39):
Yeah, definitely.
Josh, thanks so much for allyour time.
SPEAKER_03 (35:43):
Same.
Good to talk with you.
SPEAKER_06 (35:48):
I'm now catching up with a guest who's made it a
lifelong quest to understand howand why people can push others'
buttons.
We first met her in 2022 as wewere all starting to emerge from
the isolation the COVID pandemiccaused, and we saw new
interpersonal challenges beginto appear because of it.
(36:12):
The topic struck a chord withlisteners near and far because
her episode number 37, the ResetYour Buttons conversation, is
the second most downloadedepisode of all time.
I am thrilled to welcome backMary Elizabeth Murphy.
Hi, Mary Elizabeth.
SPEAKER_07 (36:31):
Hi, Helen.
Thank you so much for having meback.
And for everyone who's listenedto the episode 37 podcast,
that's exciting.
It's fun and a huge compliment.
SPEAKER_06 (36:41):
Yeah, well, and again, what you do is so, so
important.
Four years ago, like I said, wewere just emerging from the
pandemic, and people were juststarting to get used to being
back amongst other folks.
How in the last four years havethings changed?
SPEAKER_07 (37:01):
Well, uh a lot, right?
As we know, we were getting, Ilike to use the term getting our
legs back under us, right?
Um and being feeling solid onour ground, grounded.
And I think that we're not thereyet.
I think there's a lot ofchallenges going on right now in
(37:22):
in the world, as we know.
I just was part of aconversation about what's
happening in the world oftraining and development within
organizations.
There's a lot of challenges thatpeople continue to want to have
learning.
Companies want to continue totrain people and offer them
talent developmentopportunities.
And unfortunately, budgets arefrozen right now because people
(37:47):
are a little bit paralyzed.
They're not sure which way tomove or what to do.
And I think when it comes toreset, I think that we really do
need to be paying more attentionto when our buttons get pushed
and learning how to reset themso that we can have healthy and
(38:07):
productive conversations andcontinue to work closer
together.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (38:14):
So it sounds like one of the things that you're
seeing is it's just more of thesame.
We just have differentchallenges right now that are
still pushing people to thelimit.
SPEAKER_07 (38:24):
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
I think that some of thedifferent challenges right now
are uh it's funny you say thatbecause I watched a program
recently about 2012, and I saidto my husband, I'm like, I the I
can't watch this right now.
There was a lot of thingssimilar in 2012, too.
So it really does come down toif we learn how to manage to
(38:51):
reset our buttons, to recognizewhen a button gets pushed, to
think about our expectations inthe moment, and I'll talk about
the rest of it in a minute, butit's all there in episode 37.
We build better relationships.
And at the end of the day,whether it's 2012 or 2020 or
(39:14):
2024, it's always gonna comedown to how are you and I
interacting with each other?
And what positive, whatconstructive way can we help
each other and then in that helpthe world be a better place?
Right.
And I know that's you know, somepeople may be rolling their eyes
(39:36):
listening to this, which by theway is a contempt move, so don't
be rolling your eyes out there.
But it it it is that because itpushes buttons, it is that
understanding that a button getspushed, my amygdala goes off,
and and back to this overwhelmor frozen state feeling right
(39:57):
now is that our amygdala, as wetalked about again in episode
37, we talk about it in resetyour buttons, is on high alert
and and it's its job, right, tokeep us safe.
So it's always scanning.
Is it, you know, do I need tofight, flight, or freeze?
And then you know, someone addedin fun somewhere along the way.
(40:19):
And and using the moment to, andI just read about this, so this
isn't mine, but I loved it.
Literally, like you can put yourhands over your heart and say to
yourself, I'm okay.
It's safe right now.
And the reason for that is youneed to tell your amygdala it's
(40:40):
okay.
It's like soothing a child,right?
Or soothing your pet whenthey're nervous.
And so if you can start by justthat moment, like I'm safe in
this moment, and then proceedfrom there, what expectations
aren't getting met, what senseof self, right?
What um how to emphasize yourcore values, take stock, disarm.
(41:04):
But it starts with I've got toslow that down because what we
know more today than when Iwrote the book is not only is
the amygdala getting activated,but then the cortisol is just
getting released, right?
Because it's back to our fight,flight, or freeze.
Right.
And those are the you know,those too much of that becomes
very dangerous in our in oursystems.
SPEAKER_06 (41:25):
Yeah.
So uh I guess, you know, to yourpoint, regardless of what year
it is and what's going on, weowe it to ourselves to be able
to reset our own buttons.
So since last we spoke, whathave you done with your reset
model?
How have you shared that?
Because it sounds like the needhas not changed, the need is
(41:48):
still there.
SPEAKER_07 (41:49):
Yeah, yeah.
So we I think we were oh, I knowwe were doing this in 22.
We were doing a lot ofleadership training that
included and incorporated thereset model.
And now, and I also had evenbefore that, it started a
podcast.
Nothing is as wonderful as yourpodcast.
And and and I say that it inhonoring of you, but also
(42:13):
sincerely, like I was terrified.
It was only on our website.
I'm like, we cannot put it outin public because I was too
afraid of what people might sayabout it, right?
So I was very insecure about it.
Since I'm surprised, I know,right?
But yeah, I can stand in frontof people and talk all day long,
but like don't have me out thereand have people be able to
(42:34):
listen to a podcast.
How silly, right?
I can even interview on apodcast, but it there was just
something, there was a there wasa there was a button that needed
to be pushed.
And so what I found was we havefound a studio that is run here
in town, and the folks that runthat studio, and it's called
(42:56):
Focal Groove and Groove Studio,are fabulous people.
And they are they've helped meto get over the edge, right?
We talk about the edge, and andso they've they and they did it
very gently, they didn't shoveme, but you know, because fears
I had were I'm gonna be, youwant to videotape me?
What are you kidding me?
SPEAKER_06 (43:17):
So I'm right there with you on that one, right?
SPEAKER_07 (43:19):
And so now we have a YouTube channel and we have four
or five episodes up, and we getto listen to other people's
career journeys almost.
And and I get to listen to whatdid they recognize, what where
were where were theirexpectations.
So we apply the model to thesome of those stories, and I'm
(43:41):
looking to apply the model tosome other other places as well.
So there's the personal use ofreset your buttons, and then
there's the life planning use orcareer planning use.
And so along those lines, wealso launched a 90 day reset
sprint.
We just relaunched it.
We're finishing it up.
(44:02):
And the theme of it was should Istay or should I go?
For people who are trying todecide if they stay in, you
know, do I want to stay in myjob?
Do I want to leave?
If I want to stay, what do Ineed to do?
Right.
So so what is a sprint exactly?
So a sprint is a 90-daycommitment working with me live
(44:23):
as well as a community ofpeople, a cohort.
We limit it to about 12 people.
And we walk through the resetmodel and then we walk through a
version of uh of a smart goalmodel.
So I've I've triggered I'vetweaked the SMART goal model to
align better with the resetmodel.
(44:44):
And so there's education,there's classes with it, like
what does it mean to reset yourbuttons?
What does it mean to havemeasurable goals?
And and through that, we'relooking at what is the thing in
my life that I want to reset.
The other thing we offer withit, which is even more popular,
and I'm thinking about justsometimes offering this as a
(45:06):
standalone, is something wecreated called the pop-up
productivity session.
And those run anywhere from 90minutes to two hours and 15
minutes.
We use the Pomodoro method, butagain, because it's a group of
people working together to getsomething done, uh we take
breaks every at the end of 25minutes, we take a five-minute
(45:28):
break and check in.
And one of my favorite thingsthat we've learned through it
is, and you you may or may nothave ever done this, but if
you've gone to do something, andas you go to do it in your head,
you hear, well, but before that,I need to do this.
Yes.
Yes, right?
Like, like one of my favoritesis you know, in in in our
(45:48):
cohorts, we're gonna start,we're gonna work on something,
but first I'm gonna get a cup ofcoffee, and then I go down in
the kitchen to get the cup ofcoffee and I get the cream out
of the refrigerator, and I seethat oh, the vegetables are
starting to go.
So, well, maybe I'll start thevegetable soup.
And before you know it, thething that we needed to do or
(46:08):
said we were gonna do that wereally didn't want to do anyway,
we let all the butt first get infront of it.
SPEAKER_06 (46:14):
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I am so guilty of that.
Yeah, so it's part of itsmenoprange brain.
SPEAKER_07 (46:20):
Oh yeah, yeah, and there's that too.
And then all the like I realizethat I really do have to turn
off my other windows when I'mworking on emails because it's
just too easy to have like, oh,something on LinkedIn, and then
I go over to LinkedIn, and thenfrom LinkedIn, something in
there I have to read, and Inever get back to finishing the
(46:41):
email or you know, it's hourslater.
Right.
So pop-up productivities arereally fun and a critical part
for our teams to be, and it'sindividuals.
We do also we've done it within-tack teams and organizations.
SPEAKER_06 (46:58):
I was gonna ask, is it open to the general public?
Like, can they go to yourwebsite and sign up for a 90-day
sprint if they want to?
SPEAKER_07 (47:05):
Yeah, yeah.
So we like I said, we justfinished this one.
We're gonna look at the calendarand see we're looking at
launching the next one in Augustso that people have the summer
off.
Um but I may run some pop-upproductivities or just you know,
some 30-day challenges betweennow and August.
But our August one will startthe end of August and run
August, September, October, andthen the first two weeks of
(47:28):
November.
Okay.
SPEAKER_06 (47:29):
And then you one thing you mentioned, and uh I I
know what it is, but I'm notsure everybody else does.
You mentioned the Pomodoromethod.
Can you explain that?
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_07 (47:41):
So the the story I read about how did it get why is
it called the Pomodoro method,is because the gentleman who
created it was a college studentand he was trying to work on his
thesis or something, and then hehad to get turned in.
And he recognized he probablyhad his own butt first.
I don't think he called it that,but he would get distracted.
(48:05):
So he would set a timer and work25-minute segments and take a
five to 15 minute break, or he'dwork an hour.
And in the idea is that you areworking a concentrated set of
time, you take a break and thenyou come back to it and turn
everything else off.
That's really critical, is thatyou have to turn the other
(48:26):
pieces off.
But the reason it's calledPomodoro, and you'll appreciate
this, this is kind of fun, ishis timer was a little pomodoro
tomato, like a shape like apomodoro tomato, because he was
in Italy and he was that's whathe had for his timer, and so he
called it the Pomodoro method.
SPEAKER_06 (48:47):
Oh, that's so funny.
That's so funny.
So it sounds like, yeah, maybeyou haven't expanded, but maybe
you're offering with morefrequency using reset.
I'm so excited that you'veyou've got your podcast revamped
and you now you've beaten me,you're in video.
I'm still I'm still in audio.
(49:09):
I think that's fantastic.
And then running some of theseprograms, you know, outside of
your team clients that that youhave.
Yeah.
Is is great.
Are you finding anything newabout what folks are struggling
with right now and how the resetmodel can help them navigate
(49:32):
some of the the current daychallenges?
SPEAKER_07 (49:35):
I think it's the overwhelm.
So what's different between fouryears ago and coming out of the
pandemic, that was anxiety, thatwas nervousness, that was
anxiousness, it was uh, youknow, what's happening, what's
next, how do I stay healthy, howdo I keep my family healthy?
We knew what the problems werethat we needed to put our
(49:56):
attention on.
And so when I talk about ourcurrent state of the headwinds,
there's there's so muchhappening that we are in a in a
freeze state when we talk aboutfight, flight, or freeze, right?
We're in a freeze state.
So if I'm working in anorganization, I don't know if I
(50:16):
should leave or not right now orstay within the security of it.
But in a if I stay in thesecurity of my job, how secure
am I actually?
Right?
SPEAKER_05 (50:25):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (50:26):
Because again, budgets are frozen, AI is here,
pick up pick an issue.
There's all kinds of challengesthat that the people that are
trying to even make decisionscan't make right now because
we're in this place ofuncertainty, which brings
overwhelm.
(50:46):
So, what the overwhelm lookslike is we need to do more with
less.
So, for example, we I was juston a call recently for our
industry, training budgets arebeing cut, long-term projects
are not being funded the waythey used to be.
We're moving back to what'scalled one and done, right?
And people are just being askedbecause they also don't have
(51:10):
time to commit to a long-termleadership program.
They can grab two hours and say,okay, let's let's you know,
let's teach them something inthose two hours, which is fine,
except you and I both know theretention on that is just not
going to be there if you can'tcontinue to support it as you go
forward.
SPEAKER_06 (51:29):
Yeah, you don't you don't learn to execute in class,
you learn concepts and theories,then you go back on the job and
practice and and experience isthe teacher.
SPEAKER_07 (51:40):
There you go.
That you said it beautifully.
I couldn't have said it.
I truly I could not have said itas eloquently as you just did.
That's it.
SPEAKER_06 (51:47):
That's I I have screamed it from the
mountaintops.
SPEAKER_07 (51:50):
Yeah, yeah.
But it and and the challenge isyou and I both know that, and
and those who are controllingthe budgets know it as well.
But you only have so much moneyto do so many things with
sometimes.
And the bottom line is, and I'vesaid this recently a few times,
(52:11):
and people get a little takenaback by it, but businesses are
in business to make money.
Right.
I mean, if they don't makemoney, they can't pay their
employees, they can't havetraining, they can't offer
benefits, they can't.
So at the end of the day, we asemployees, as vendors, as
strategic partners, our job isto help the business to make
(52:35):
money.
And I know that's gonna open upa lot of there's that statement
alone just pushed a lot ofbuttons for some people who are
listening, right?
Including my own.
But at the end of the day,that's that truly is the bottom
line.
If the company or theorganization is not profitable,
or if they're nonprofit butthey're meeting their their
(52:55):
obligations, then we we can'tkeep the doors open.
Right.
And and so you know, aside fromsalaries and who's getting paid
more and who's getting paidless, I completely get it.
I understand I'm this is not apolitical statement.
It's just this is the state ofwhere we're at right now.
SPEAKER_06 (53:15):
Right.
So and all the all the morereason why the work that you do
with the productivity sprints,the should I stay or should I go
90-day sprint, and again,reinforcing the reset your
buttons model is so importantfor folks professional
relationships, personalrelationships, and just to give
(53:40):
themselves peace of mind and beable to be their safe harbor
within a sea of of uh of chaos.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just a different type ofchaos.
We're not putting COVID to thename anymore.
SPEAKER_07 (53:54):
Right, it's it's the uncertainty.
Yeah, really, because when weput the name COVID, like, oh,
this is what's happening, right?
Once you can name it, you put aplan to resolve it to solve the
problem.
SPEAKER_06 (54:07):
Yeah, and this is a little nebulous.
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, well, Mary Elizabeth,thank you so much for the
important work that you continueto do with your reset your
buttons model and helping folks,you know, helping to enrich
folks' lives as they navigate,you know, the choppy waters.
(54:28):
Where can folks find you tolearn more about your sprints
and and some of the other thingsthat you're offering?
So check out your podcast.
SPEAKER_07 (54:38):
Yeah, thank you.
So we have our star resourceswebsite, which is
starresources.net.
And then we also have uhresetyourbuttons.com website and
our YouTube channel that has thepodcast in both video and well,
(54:59):
it's pushed out.
This is my technology knowledge,so limited.
It's being pushed out on thethrough the podcast channels, so
it should be on your favoritepodcast channel.
And then if you want to watchthe video or listen to it
through YouTube, it's StarResources, all lowercase, all
(55:19):
one one long words,S-T-A-R-R-E-S-O-U-R-C-E-S.
And they are the Reset YourButtons podcasts.
SPEAKER_06 (55:27):
Okay.
I will make sure those links arein the show description for
anybody that wants to revisit,or if they're listening to this
for the first time, can checkout your website, check out your
tools.
I'll make sure there's a link tothe book because without the
book and the whole model itself,you know, we we've got nothing
(55:48):
to work with.
So I'll make sure there's a linkfor that as well.
SPEAKER_07 (55:51):
Thank you, Helen.
I appreciate it.
I I if I could just say one morething that came to me while we
were talking is that the reasonthe model, the method, and the
mindset works is because it canhelp you individually.
Individually, we can helporganizationally or team or
relationally.
That's why it's called createrelationships that work.
(56:12):
But what I thought about withwhat you were just saying a few
minutes ago is again, in in thisstate of uncertainty and
overwhelm, the only thing youcan control is how you respond
when a button is pushed.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_06 (56:27):
Exactly.
And on that note, thank you somuch for your time this morning.
I really appreciate it andappreciate it, and I love
catching up with you.
SPEAKER_07 (56:38):
Thank you for inviting me back.
SPEAKER_06 (56:44):
I still can't believe it's been four years
since we last met these folks.
Time has flown.
So much exciting stuff going onfor them, and they continue to
follow their passions, which aretaking them on incredible
journeys, new experiences, andexpanding their capacities.
(57:05):
My little nugget of inspirationfrom Rua, the youngest assorted
conversations guest, is to neverstop networking.
She could seriously teach aclass on it.
Her networking skills have ledher to some pretty incredible
encounters and the beginning ofsome really great relationships.
(57:25):
Josh O'Connell's inspiration forme is not being afraid to take a
leap of faith.
Leaving a job, movingcross-country, all in the name
of following his love of writingabout all things casino, has
turned into a magnificent blendof passion and the benefit of
all his previous work skills,putting him on the cutting edge
(57:48):
with one of the top YouTubecreators and casino gaming
influencers.
And then there's Mary ElizabethMurphy and her work continuing
to make the reset model moreaccessible through new channels
so we can develop ourselves intobeing our calmest oasis in the
midst of the chaos harbor thatlife can sometimes be.
(58:19):
Jump down to the show notes forlinks to their original episodes
as well as new or updated linksthat they mentioned in their
little update.
And while you're there, don'tforget to connect with me.
All my socials are linked thereas well.
As always, thanks for listening,and I'll see you in two weeks.
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