September 25, 2023 • 10 mins
Selina Iddon delves into the foundational aspects of mindset, emphasizing the importance of daily practice in building confidence. She examines the negative consequences of low confidence and how it affects our lives. The discussion shifts to the influence of others and strategies for rebuilding confidence. Aligning the subconscious with personal goals is highlighted as a crucial step in this process. Selina wraps up with closing thoughts, summarizing the key points, and leaves listeners with a message of kindness.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:10):
Good morning.
Thank you if you've just returned, and welcomeif this is your first time.
So today, I'd like to talk about confidence.
And I'm going to take an analogy, which isactually from the Bruce Lee podcast, which is
excellent if you haven't listened to any ofthem.
They're a lot longer than, mine here, my shortlittle snippets, but, really, really great.
(00:35):
They're they're by Bruce Lee's daughter sharinghis philosophies.
So confidence.
The analogy she made was like fueling the car.
When I'm coaching people, I have them text methree times a day an affirmation.
And what that's doing is it's just keeping thatfocus on what it is that they're really after,
(00:57):
what it is that's gonna make a difference.
And and then you grow into that.
And anyone I've coached will let you know that,yeah, it works.
Now whether they keep doing that afterwards ordrop off, I want you to consider that that time
taken.
Alright?
Or if you can give ten minutes, just tenminutes a day is what Bruce Lee used to do.
(01:21):
I like to break it up into two by five minutesor three by three minutes to that regularity.
I find that by doing it like maybe with yourthree meals a day or if you have two meals, a
little bit longer, two meals a day, you know,you feed your body, you feed your mind.
So that's how I do it.
Bruce Lee used to like to do ten minutes at onestage.
(01:42):
Either way, what what's important is what itworks what works for you.
And what's even more important is doing thepractice.
So the analogy is like that that his daughterused was like fueling a car, and I love that.
And I'm gonna take it a step further than thanwhat they talked about in the podcast.
(02:07):
So we all fuel our car.
We know that without the the fuel that we putin and the car's just simply not gonna go.
So when the fuel's running out, the car willbegin to splatter, you know, and you think, oh,
and even when we see that fuel gauge sitting one, and you know, part of our mind doesn't
(02:31):
matter what we're doing, we'll be distractedwith where's the next fuel station?
And then part of life becomes about beingdistracted for, oh my gosh, where am I gonna
fill fill up?
Where's that fuel station?
Am I gonna make it?
Am I gonna be broken down on the side of theroad?
All of a sudden, see these worrying thoughtsstart coming in, the anxieties.
(02:52):
Or even if it's not to the full point ofanxieties, these concerns, these worries, but
not things that we would choose for our life.
You know?
We don't want that.
We'd prefer just know that we're gonna go froma to b and get on with enjoying what's at b.
Right?
So that breakdown in confidence comes from notputting that fuel in the car.
(03:16):
Now we might have put fuel in from the closestjerry we could jerry can we could have grabbed.
Right?
Oh, is that the right fuel?
I know I'd be thinking that.
I have put the wrong fuel in the wrong vehiclebefore.
It doesn't always go well.
Sometimes it doesn't go at all.
So, yeah.
Is it the right kind of fuel?
Or is there, you know, any rubbish in thebottom of the jerry can?
(03:39):
You know, don't use the last bit.
Don't top all the way up.
There's just some lack of confidence thereabout, you know, getting there.
I have so much more confidence when I've pulledup at the service station, rightly or wrongly,
and fueled up my car.
And with that fueling up, I then am driving towhere I'm going, and I'm thinking about the,
(04:00):
you know, where it is I'm going.
I'm not I don't have those concerns.
The car isn't spluttering.
The you know, it's a smoother trip, a moreenjoyable trip.
And it's the same with confidence.
When we're not putting in that time every dayto hone in, give ourselves that information,
(04:22):
think about what our goals are, to get reallyclear on where we're going, to give that little
bit of time every day, that's like filling upour internal fuel.
That's like filling up our emotional and ourconfidence fuel.
Alright?
And without confidence in ourselves or in whatwe're working towards, then well we know how it
(04:48):
goes.
All of a sudden we lose confidence, we getworried around what we're doing.
Concerns come up that are needless.
Without that confidence we stop as we might besplattering or stopping or pulling the brakes
on or taking it real easy instead of just goingwith the flow how we'd normally drive.
(05:13):
The next step on from that is if we really loseconfidence, then we might just you know, if the
car breaks down or we might make decisions likewell I'll just go with someone else.
And then we're putting ourselves as a passengerinto someone else's life or in how someone else
(05:33):
does it.
I mean, how often if we're lacking confidenceand someone comes along says, oh, this is how
you do it.
This is how you do it.
And then the party again, well, I don't know ifthat works for me.
Don't know if that's the right path, know, butbut hey, it's working for them.
Look at them, you know, they're confident,they're going, they're getting it done.
So then all of a sudden, you start actuallyeven taking actions and following others that
(05:57):
you normally would question.
When your own confidence is down, you seesomeone else with it, you try what they're
doing, and it may not be good for you.
So when you're confident, you may still takeon, look at what they're doing, and you might
still take it on.
But there's a difference in how you'reassessing it and then how you go about it.
Because typically, if you just take on tryingto be someone else and how they're doing it,
(06:23):
and that's kind of the way it goes with thelack of confidence.
Whereas when you are confident, you take whatthey're doing and then you're trying to do it
from a different place.
So I hope that makes sense to you.
If you haven't experienced it, it might notquite get there, but I'm thinking that a lot of
people will have experienced something likethat and you'll get it.
(06:48):
So that's another problem with if we're notfilling up our own confidence tank and we're
not full bottle, we then start trying to besomeone else or taking what they're doing, and
it just never ends well.
So the best way to do it is, as Bruce Lee did,he put a little bit aside every day to build up
(07:12):
his, confidence.
And there's areas in life for all of us.
It doesn't matter how confident we appear,there's there's gonna be some area in life you
wanna work on.
Alright.
So he would do his ten minutes or as I suggest,know, whatever works for you, breaking it up
however.
Alright.
But giving it that time, fuel your confidence,fuel yourself with clear thoughts about what it
(07:38):
is you want and where you're going.
If you don't believe it in the beginning,that's okay.
Right?
Because if you give enough energy and attentionto what it is you want and where you're going,
it will eventually, start appearing because thebody, the mind will start going, what is this
(07:59):
thing we're doing every day?
What is this focus?
And all of a sudden, it will start looking tobring that into line with your life.
It just will.
Alright?
It's on the subconscious level, but I promiseyou, if you give it that attention every day,
at some point your unconscious mind will startgoing, well look, this must be important, and
(08:23):
it will start changing.
There'll be little tiny little changes in thebeginning to bring into alignment with that.
It's it's I've just seen it so many times.
There's there's heaps of stuff out there on it.
It's just how it happens.
So give that time.
Fuel your confidence.
Fuel yourself.
(08:45):
Alright.
Just do it as an action in the beginning anddon't worry about it feeling real.
It'll happen later.
It doesn't happen in the other order.
Alright.
It's it's exciting.
It's something we can all do ten minutes a day,know, and especially if we break it up, do it
with a meal.
So that's it for today, confidence.
(09:08):
You know, look at it like fueling a car.
Your car won't run without fuel or it'llsplatter, won't run well, wrong fuel or you end
up being at the mercy and being a passengerwith someone else.
Confidence.
You can fill up your own every day and have itrunning without concerns.
(09:30):
You can or the worst case scenario is you startliving, you know, according to how others think
you should or trying things that work forothers.
But that's not you.
So it's a big issue.
We squeezed it into under ten minutes.
Thank you for listening.
I look forward to seeing you next time.
(09:52):
And I finish every podcast with something aboutkindness.
You know, when you're confident, the best partis it's so much easier to be kind.
Until then, accept kindness, give kindness, buthave kindness be real and flourishing in the
world.
Bye for now.
Good morning.
Thank you if you've just returned, and welcomeif this is your first time.
So today, I'd like to talk about confidence.
And I'm going to take an analogy, which isactually from the Bruce Lee podcast, which is
excellent if you haven't listened to any ofthem.
They're a lot longer than, mine here, my shortlittle snippets, but, really, really great.
(00:35):
They're they're by Bruce Lee's daughter sharinghis philosophies.
So confidence.
The analogy she made was like fueling the car.
When I'm coaching people, I have them text methree times a day an affirmation.
And what that's doing is it's just keeping thatfocus on what it is that they're really after,
(00:57):
what it is that's gonna make a difference.
And and then you grow into that.
And anyone I've coached will let you know that,yeah, it works.
Now whether they keep doing that afterwards ordrop off, I want you to consider that that time
taken.
Alright?
Or if you can give ten minutes, just tenminutes a day is what Bruce Lee used to do.
(01:21):
I like to break it up into two by five minutesor three by three minutes to that regularity.
I find that by doing it like maybe with yourthree meals a day or if you have two meals, a
little bit longer, two meals a day, you know,you feed your body, you feed your mind.
So that's how I do it.
Bruce Lee used to like to do ten minutes at onestage.
(01:42):
Either way, what what's important is what itworks what works for you.
And what's even more important is doing thepractice.
So the analogy is like that that his daughterused was like fueling a car, and I love that.
And I'm gonna take it a step further than thanwhat they talked about in the podcast.
(02:07):
So we all fuel our car.
We know that without the the fuel that we putin and the car's just simply not gonna go.
So when the fuel's running out, the car willbegin to splatter, you know, and you think, oh,
and even when we see that fuel gauge sitting one, and you know, part of our mind doesn't
(02:31):
matter what we're doing, we'll be distractedwith where's the next fuel station?
And then part of life becomes about beingdistracted for, oh my gosh, where am I gonna
fill fill up?
Where's that fuel station?
Am I gonna make it?
Am I gonna be broken down on the side of theroad?
All of a sudden, see these worrying thoughtsstart coming in, the anxieties.
(02:52):
Or even if it's not to the full point ofanxieties, these concerns, these worries, but
not things that we would choose for our life.
You know?
We don't want that.
We'd prefer just know that we're gonna go froma to b and get on with enjoying what's at b.
Right?
So that breakdown in confidence comes from notputting that fuel in the car.
(03:16):
Now we might have put fuel in from the closestjerry we could jerry can we could have grabbed.
Right?
Oh, is that the right fuel?
I know I'd be thinking that.
I have put the wrong fuel in the wrong vehiclebefore.
It doesn't always go well.
Sometimes it doesn't go at all.
So, yeah.
Is it the right kind of fuel?
Or is there, you know, any rubbish in thebottom of the jerry can?
(03:39):
You know, don't use the last bit.
Don't top all the way up.
There's just some lack of confidence thereabout, you know, getting there.
I have so much more confidence when I've pulledup at the service station, rightly or wrongly,
and fueled up my car.
And with that fueling up, I then am driving towhere I'm going, and I'm thinking about the,
(04:00):
you know, where it is I'm going.
I'm not I don't have those concerns.
The car isn't spluttering.
The you know, it's a smoother trip, a moreenjoyable trip.
And it's the same with confidence.
When we're not putting in that time every dayto hone in, give ourselves that information,
(04:22):
think about what our goals are, to get reallyclear on where we're going, to give that little
bit of time every day, that's like filling upour internal fuel.
That's like filling up our emotional and ourconfidence fuel.
Alright?
And without confidence in ourselves or in whatwe're working towards, then well we know how it
(04:48):
goes.
All of a sudden we lose confidence, we getworried around what we're doing.
Concerns come up that are needless.
Without that confidence we stop as we might besplattering or stopping or pulling the brakes
on or taking it real easy instead of just goingwith the flow how we'd normally drive.
(05:13):
The next step on from that is if we really loseconfidence, then we might just you know, if the
car breaks down or we might make decisions likewell I'll just go with someone else.
And then we're putting ourselves as a passengerinto someone else's life or in how someone else
(05:33):
does it.
I mean, how often if we're lacking confidenceand someone comes along says, oh, this is how
you do it.
This is how you do it.
And then the party again, well, I don't know ifthat works for me.
Don't know if that's the right path, know, butbut hey, it's working for them.
Look at them, you know, they're confident,they're going, they're getting it done.
So then all of a sudden, you start actuallyeven taking actions and following others that
(05:57):
you normally would question.
When your own confidence is down, you seesomeone else with it, you try what they're
doing, and it may not be good for you.
So when you're confident, you may still takeon, look at what they're doing, and you might
still take it on.
But there's a difference in how you'reassessing it and then how you go about it.
Because typically, if you just take on tryingto be someone else and how they're doing it,
(06:23):
and that's kind of the way it goes with thelack of confidence.
Whereas when you are confident, you take whatthey're doing and then you're trying to do it
from a different place.
So I hope that makes sense to you.
If you haven't experienced it, it might notquite get there, but I'm thinking that a lot of
people will have experienced something likethat and you'll get it.
(06:48):
So that's another problem with if we're notfilling up our own confidence tank and we're
not full bottle, we then start trying to besomeone else or taking what they're doing, and
it just never ends well.
So the best way to do it is, as Bruce Lee did,he put a little bit aside every day to build up
(07:12):
his, confidence.
And there's areas in life for all of us.
It doesn't matter how confident we appear,there's there's gonna be some area in life you
wanna work on.
Alright.
So he would do his ten minutes or as I suggest,know, whatever works for you, breaking it up
however.
Alright.
But giving it that time, fuel your confidence,fuel yourself with clear thoughts about what it
(07:38):
is you want and where you're going.
If you don't believe it in the beginning,that's okay.
Right?
Because if you give enough energy and attentionto what it is you want and where you're going,
it will eventually, start appearing because thebody, the mind will start going, what is this
(07:59):
thing we're doing every day?
What is this focus?
And all of a sudden, it will start looking tobring that into line with your life.
It just will.
Alright?
It's on the subconscious level, but I promiseyou, if you give it that attention every day,
at some point your unconscious mind will startgoing, well look, this must be important, and
(08:23):
it will start changing.
There'll be little tiny little changes in thebeginning to bring into alignment with that.
It's it's I've just seen it so many times.
There's there's heaps of stuff out there on it.
It's just how it happens.
So give that time.
Fuel your confidence.
Fuel yourself.
(08:45):
Alright.
Just do it as an action in the beginning anddon't worry about it feeling real.
It'll happen later.
It doesn't happen in the other order.
Alright.
It's it's exciting.
It's something we can all do ten minutes a day,know, and especially if we break it up, do it
with a meal.
So that's it for today, confidence.
(09:08):
You know, look at it like fueling a car.
Your car won't run without fuel or it'llsplatter, won't run well, wrong fuel or you end
up being at the mercy and being a passengerwith someone else.
Confidence.
You can fill up your own every day and have itrunning without concerns.
(09:30):
You can or the worst case scenario is you startliving, you know, according to how others think
you should or trying things that work forothers.
But that's not you.
So it's a big issue.
We squeezed it into under ten minutes.
Thank you for listening.
I look forward to seeing you next time.
(09:52):
And I finish every podcast with something aboutkindness.
You know, when you're confident, the best partis it's so much easier to be kind.
Until then, accept kindness, give kindness, buthave kindness be real and flourishing in the
world.
Bye for now.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com