August 26, 2022 • 7 mins
Selina Iddon begins by examining the impact of the word "always" and its role in shaping perceptions and highlighting red flags. She delves into the truth behind this seemingly innocuous word and its potential to lead to self-sabotage. By reframing "always," Selina offers strategies to overcome negative thought patterns. Practical examples are shared to encourage listeners to change their usage of the word, fostering a healthier mindset. The episode concludes with closing remarks and a reminder to spread kindness.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:10):
The word always.
How are we using that?
Good morning.
Welcome back to the Aussie mindset mentor.
My name is Selena.
Really appreciate you listening to this.
Always.
I see that as a big red flag.
Now a nothing wrong with a red flag.
(00:32):
However, it's just a something that's wavingthere saying, oh, have a look.
Have a look.
That's what a red flag is.
It's not necessarily bad, but it's worth havinga look because maybe it is.
Maybe it is dangerous for you.
And, really, the word always, it depends howare you using it.
(00:56):
See, you might get up and you might be onholidays and walk out and there's a drizzle of
rain.
You might say, oh, it always rains when I'm onholidays.
Right?
Well, that wouldn't make me happy to think, youknow, especially if you were planning on all
these activities that didn't involve sittingaround and enjoying the pitter patter on the
(01:18):
roof, then it wouldn't make me happy to thinkit always rains when I go on holiday.
However, if I was looking forward to thisreally lazy day where I was forced just to take
it easy and relax and just, you know, chillout, then it'd be like, oh, that'd be a good
(01:38):
thing.
So what there is to look at is how have youused the word always?
Because you know what?
For starters, it's not true.
It's not true that the whole universe isactually considering, oh, there she is.
She's on holidays.
Quick.
Make it rain.
(01:59):
Pretty sure that's not how life goes.
You know?
Besides being egotistical, it's juststatistically, there's gonna be no, evidence to
support that whenever I go on holidays, itrains.
So either way, it's not true.
However, as you've probably listened to, youknow, me say before, truth is a perception.
(02:26):
It's a measure of how I measure truth is ifit's, empowers you, if it's effective, if it
has you perform better, if it has you be happy,then I say it's true.
So if it doesn't, then it's not true.
Well, either way, it doesn't rain just becauseI'm on holidays.
(02:47):
However, my experience my experience of life isthe red flag.
That's what there is to look at.
When I use always, am I saying that life sucksfor me?
Am I saying that whenever I go to do somethingthat's fun, it gets ruined?
(03:09):
Am I saying that, oh, when I plan to dosomething, life comes along and rains on me and
wet you know, rains it out wets it out.
Ah, okay.
That is not that a great way to think of theword always.
Alright.
That is definitely not true because that makesme unhappy to think that.
(03:33):
However, if I was to think that, ah, lifealways provides what I need, or, you know, not
necessarily what I want because here I am.
You know, I know that I am wanting to do stuffall the time, and and the rain now is having me
slow down and just chill out, and that is goodfor me to take stock, you know, revitalize,
(03:59):
refresh, then, you know, the always rainingwhen I go on holidays, that could be a good
thing.
And I think, okay.
Then, yep, tick.
I can use the word always there and move on.
So always.
It's a red flag.
Just meaning look at it.
(04:19):
Are you using always like, oh, that alwayshappens to me, and it makes you unhappy?
Well, consider that you've got somethingrunning there that says something bad always
happens to me when things are going right.
Now that is gonna be an absolute block.
That's gonna cause you to self sabotage, and itwill be an absolute block to any of your
(04:41):
success.
And it might even be a block to you startingbecause there'll be a little party going, oh,
what's the point?
It's gonna get squashed.
It you know, as soon as things go good, they'regonna go bad.
And with that, that's why a lot of people, whenthey're bordering on success, either self
sabotage or pull back because it's actually thesuccess that scares them because with success
(05:07):
becomes always something goes wrong.
So the more successful you might be, the biggersomething going wrong will be.
You can imagine that's really gonna bring up alot of fear.
So what there is to do is to deal with that.
And once you've dealt with that, oh, look atthat.
I'm not gonna use always in the context ofsomething going wrong.
(05:31):
I'm gonna only gonna use always when I likewhat's coming after it.
If I don't like what's coming after it, I mightuse words like, it's raining again while I'm on
holidays.
What?
What are the chances of that?
That's crazy.
And then you could go, oh, but then again, I ambooking in the raining season.
Oh, yeah.
That'll do it.
Or it could be, wow.
(05:53):
You know, this weather's just going crazylately.
If, you know, it is a surprise that it'sraining then, I'll go, oh my goodness.
Maybe I'm just meant to take a notch off andjust chill a bit.
Maybe maybe even though I want to do all thisstuff, life's telling me, hey.
Just take just take a breath and just chill.
(06:16):
Alright.
And maybe that'll give you more days to dothose exciting things because you'll be giving
your your body and your soul that little bit oftime out that it might need.
Any of those ways, you can, swap out the wordalways and change it to something else.
And you know what?
That's probably pretty well true.
(06:38):
There is fear for a lot of people aroundsuccess.
And if you're someone who uses always, that'sthe red flag to look for that.
And that's a word to start consciously changinghow you use it or what comes after it to undo
that absolutely crap story that it's not safeto succeed.
(07:01):
Because you know what?
Success feels great.
It's good for you.
You deserve it.
And, what can I say?
The more successful people there are out there,the more people with the ability to help others
and to, you know, take in the rewards ofsuccess and then to share that.
(07:26):
Share it kindly.
Now that that would make the world a betterplace.
So let's start with changing your language, geton with being successful, and get on with doing
your share of spreading kindness.
Thanks for being here today.
Bye for now.
The word always.
How are we using that?
Good morning.
Welcome back to the Aussie mindset mentor.
My name is Selena.
Really appreciate you listening to this.
Always.
I see that as a big red flag.
Now a nothing wrong with a red flag.
(00:32):
However, it's just a something that's wavingthere saying, oh, have a look.
Have a look.
That's what a red flag is.
It's not necessarily bad, but it's worth havinga look because maybe it is.
Maybe it is dangerous for you.
And, really, the word always, it depends howare you using it.
(00:56):
See, you might get up and you might be onholidays and walk out and there's a drizzle of
rain.
You might say, oh, it always rains when I'm onholidays.
Right?
Well, that wouldn't make me happy to think, youknow, especially if you were planning on all
these activities that didn't involve sittingaround and enjoying the pitter patter on the
(01:18):
roof, then it wouldn't make me happy to thinkit always rains when I go on holiday.
However, if I was looking forward to thisreally lazy day where I was forced just to take
it easy and relax and just, you know, chillout, then it'd be like, oh, that'd be a good
(01:38):
thing.
So what there is to look at is how have youused the word always?
Because you know what?
For starters, it's not true.
It's not true that the whole universe isactually considering, oh, there she is.
She's on holidays.
Quick.
Make it rain.
(01:59):
Pretty sure that's not how life goes.
You know?
Besides being egotistical, it's juststatistically, there's gonna be no, evidence to
support that whenever I go on holidays, itrains.
So either way, it's not true.
However, as you've probably listened to, youknow, me say before, truth is a perception.
(02:26):
It's a measure of how I measure truth is ifit's, empowers you, if it's effective, if it
has you perform better, if it has you be happy,then I say it's true.
So if it doesn't, then it's not true.
Well, either way, it doesn't rain just becauseI'm on holidays.
(02:47):
However, my experience my experience of life isthe red flag.
That's what there is to look at.
When I use always, am I saying that life sucksfor me?
Am I saying that whenever I go to do somethingthat's fun, it gets ruined?
(03:09):
Am I saying that, oh, when I plan to dosomething, life comes along and rains on me and
wet you know, rains it out wets it out.
Ah, okay.
That is not that a great way to think of theword always.
Alright.
That is definitely not true because that makesme unhappy to think that.
(03:33):
However, if I was to think that, ah, lifealways provides what I need, or, you know, not
necessarily what I want because here I am.
You know, I know that I am wanting to do stuffall the time, and and the rain now is having me
slow down and just chill out, and that is goodfor me to take stock, you know, revitalize,
(03:59):
refresh, then, you know, the always rainingwhen I go on holidays, that could be a good
thing.
And I think, okay.
Then, yep, tick.
I can use the word always there and move on.
So always.
It's a red flag.
Just meaning look at it.
(04:19):
Are you using always like, oh, that alwayshappens to me, and it makes you unhappy?
Well, consider that you've got somethingrunning there that says something bad always
happens to me when things are going right.
Now that is gonna be an absolute block.
That's gonna cause you to self sabotage, and itwill be an absolute block to any of your
(04:41):
success.
And it might even be a block to you startingbecause there'll be a little party going, oh,
what's the point?
It's gonna get squashed.
It you know, as soon as things go good, they'regonna go bad.
And with that, that's why a lot of people, whenthey're bordering on success, either self
sabotage or pull back because it's actually thesuccess that scares them because with success
(05:07):
becomes always something goes wrong.
So the more successful you might be, the biggersomething going wrong will be.
You can imagine that's really gonna bring up alot of fear.
So what there is to do is to deal with that.
And once you've dealt with that, oh, look atthat.
I'm not gonna use always in the context ofsomething going wrong.
(05:31):
I'm gonna only gonna use always when I likewhat's coming after it.
If I don't like what's coming after it, I mightuse words like, it's raining again while I'm on
holidays.
What?
What are the chances of that?
That's crazy.
And then you could go, oh, but then again, I ambooking in the raining season.
Oh, yeah.
That'll do it.
Or it could be, wow.
(05:53):
You know, this weather's just going crazylately.
If, you know, it is a surprise that it'sraining then, I'll go, oh my goodness.
Maybe I'm just meant to take a notch off andjust chill a bit.
Maybe maybe even though I want to do all thisstuff, life's telling me, hey.
Just take just take a breath and just chill.
(06:16):
Alright.
And maybe that'll give you more days to dothose exciting things because you'll be giving
your your body and your soul that little bit oftime out that it might need.
Any of those ways, you can, swap out the wordalways and change it to something else.
And you know what?
That's probably pretty well true.
(06:38):
There is fear for a lot of people aroundsuccess.
And if you're someone who uses always, that'sthe red flag to look for that.
And that's a word to start consciously changinghow you use it or what comes after it to undo
that absolutely crap story that it's not safeto succeed.
(07:01):
Because you know what?
Success feels great.
It's good for you.
You deserve it.
And, what can I say?
The more successful people there are out there,the more people with the ability to help others
and to, you know, take in the rewards ofsuccess and then to share that.
(07:26):
Share it kindly.
Now that that would make the world a betterplace.
So let's start with changing your language, geton with being successful, and get on with doing
your share of spreading kindness.
Thanks for being here today.
Bye for now.
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