October 11, 2022 • 9 mins
Selina Iddon welcomes listeners to an exploration of the power of language in coaching and its evolution over time. She examines the impact of societal pressures and mental health on the transition from "need" to "want." The discussion extends to achieving happiness and fulfillment through the intelligent use of language. Selina introduces a language challenge focused on eliminating withdrawal words, encouraging a proactive mindset. The episode concludes with closing remarks and an invitation for listeners to share their experiences.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:09):
Just a word.
Good morning.
Selena here from Aussie Mindset Mentor.
Thank you for joining me today, and thanks forreturning for those who've listened to my
podcast before.
So just a word.
I hear this a bit because I coach mainly fromthe language we use and the words we use.
(00:31):
And if you listen to my podcasts, you'll you'llknow what the concept I have around deposit and
withdrawal language.
So some words will absolutely withdraw in ourhappiness and our effectiveness and our overall
fulfillment in life, and others will deposit toit.
You know, I here's an example of just to whatlevel I'm talking about.
(00:56):
You know, I think it was some years back nowand I heard someone say, one a younger person
say, oh, And I thought, oh my goodness.
But because they were saying it in a way, itmeant a good thing, like, oh, that was sick.
Like, was amazing.
That was good.
That was fabulous.
Now, you know, of the new sayings and wantingto be different and bringing new things in, the
(01:21):
dictionary says, and we're all bored up and nomatter at what age, we do know that sick is
something that we don't want.
It's an illness, but look, for many, it's alsoa way to get attention.
And in this day and age where, you know,there's so many demands on our time, when a
child is sick, they get the attention.
(01:43):
That's a good thing.
Mom stops and dad stops, and they feelnurtured.
And that's maybe what some need to do to havethat experience from those they love to be
sick.
So even though sick's a bad thing, maybe atthis stage it started to be associated with a
(02:05):
good thing.
Like, and, if you do something really well andyou get the accolades, you know, and that
attention for doing it well, that's sick.
So what if at some point, you know, somethingso basic as sick got related to being a good
thing?
(02:26):
You know, there is definitely more mentalillness now going on and more sickness.
And, yeah, we have more drugs.
We have more solutions.
We have more medical.
We require them to combat the more sickness.
And you know, that mental health is goingthrough the roof.
And yes, there's awareness now where therewasn't before, and there's a whole new place to
(02:50):
look there.
But as a, you know, as a society, yes, there'sa lot of change going on, but there has been
forever.
And I just wonder if it's little words, thingsthat we could change so easily.
Your marketing absolutely tells us that we needthis, we need that.
(03:12):
They're they're bullying us into, oh, we needthis, latest gadget.
You know, it's gonna save us all this time,then we're gonna have time to relax.
So you can't relax without this gadget.
Well, if you can't have that gadget, does thatmean you can't relax?
(03:32):
And that's that will definitely put you into astate of anxiety.
Your your body will, oh my goodness, nodowntime.
You'll be in a heightened rate for far toolong.
That will cause illness.
So this language of need to, need to, insteadof us stopping and going, woah, no I don't.
(03:53):
I don't need to.
I might want to, I might consider it, but I donot need to and rejecting the need, rejecting
the sick and going, wow, that was awesome.
That was brilliant.
That was so much skill involved.
I can see the determination and the dedicationyou put into being able to achieve that.
(04:14):
Right?
Now isn't that a different conversation?
Those are conversations for freedom.
Those are conversations for feeling good, forhappiness, fulfillment.
Those are conversations for you know failingand getting up and going again, rather than
(04:35):
sick and need to.
I mean, I just feel different when I use thosewords.
So whatever the words are for you, and ifyou're not sure about my deposit and withdrawal
words, I invite you.
Go to my website, equestrianconfidence.com.auand even if you're not an equestrian, you know,
(04:55):
use it to contact me and I'll send you thewords, the deposit and withdrawal words or you
know, email me direct to, selena@idden.com.au,and I will I will send you or you know, email
you back a copy of the words.
Just send me your email address.
So, language, they're not just words.
(05:20):
They're our life.
They're our you know, we are the only animals.
We're the only species that has such alanguage.
Yes.
Other animals definitely communicate, a 100%.
Right?
But the language and the in-depth and therichness of it, humans, that's ours.
(05:41):
So embracing that gift, embracing that whichsets us apart and using it with you know,
intelligence, whatever level we have.
If we can speak and we're communicating andwe're using words, then we we have an
intelligence that is special.
(06:03):
Let's use that.
Let's use it to make ourselves happy.
And you know what happens with happy andfulfilled people?
Right?
They're not worrying about, obesity becausethey're they're busy being happy and fulfilled
and generally healthier.
They're not compensating for things.
(06:23):
And, you know, with, addictions, they're notneeding those things as much as they are
enjoying happiness and fulfilledness.
So if that's you know, if you would like someof that, then I really invite you.
No more just words, just a word.
(06:44):
It doesn't mean anything.
It means everything.
It is the storybook to what's going on inside.
Change your words, like really if it was justthe word, need or should.
Now when I say need, maybe you use have to ormust or got to.
(07:05):
Take your pick.
Just take one word of either need, should andget rid of it out of your language.
If you if you really, you know, it doesn't worknot to use it, use it something like that.
To be effective in my communication.
I have to, you know, not use the word have to.
(07:28):
You could turn it around.
You know, if you're gonna use the word need,have it be that something outside of you needs
that, not you personally.
And then you can use it because the worst caseis that whatever needs it, that might fail and
it's not personal.
So I invite you for one month, take awithdrawal word out of your language and see
(07:54):
the difference it makes.
I promise you it will make an amazingdifference, but try it for yourself.
There is nothing easier that you could possiblydo.
You don't have to you don't need gym time.
You might end up going to the gym.
Who knows?
But when when you don't need to, it's amazingwhat shows up because all of a sudden you're
(08:17):
not being a, well, I'll show you or a, I don'tthink so.
I run my own life.
You know, when you're not being bullied andusing the word need to, all of a sudden you
might just want to.
So all of that aside, it takes zero extra timeout of your day.
You know, it's free.
(08:39):
There is no other reason except for, you know,letting go of being unhappy and out of control.
If you want that freedom to just, know, behappy and fulfilled no matter what circumstance
you're in, start with your language.
(08:59):
One month challenge, I dare you.
Go.
I invite you to share with me spreading somekindness today.
Bye for now.
Just a word.
Good morning.
Selena here from Aussie Mindset Mentor.
Thank you for joining me today, and thanks forreturning for those who've listened to my
podcast before.
So just a word.
I hear this a bit because I coach mainly fromthe language we use and the words we use.
(00:31):
And if you listen to my podcasts, you'll you'llknow what the concept I have around deposit and
withdrawal language.
So some words will absolutely withdraw in ourhappiness and our effectiveness and our overall
fulfillment in life, and others will deposit toit.
You know, I here's an example of just to whatlevel I'm talking about.
(00:56):
You know, I think it was some years back nowand I heard someone say, one a younger person
say, oh, And I thought, oh my goodness.
But because they were saying it in a way, itmeant a good thing, like, oh, that was sick.
Like, was amazing.
That was good.
That was fabulous.
Now, you know, of the new sayings and wantingto be different and bringing new things in, the
(01:21):
dictionary says, and we're all bored up and nomatter at what age, we do know that sick is
something that we don't want.
It's an illness, but look, for many, it's alsoa way to get attention.
And in this day and age where, you know,there's so many demands on our time, when a
child is sick, they get the attention.
(01:43):
That's a good thing.
Mom stops and dad stops, and they feelnurtured.
And that's maybe what some need to do to havethat experience from those they love to be
sick.
So even though sick's a bad thing, maybe atthis stage it started to be associated with a
(02:05):
good thing.
Like, and, if you do something really well andyou get the accolades, you know, and that
attention for doing it well, that's sick.
So what if at some point, you know, somethingso basic as sick got related to being a good
thing?
(02:26):
You know, there is definitely more mentalillness now going on and more sickness.
And, yeah, we have more drugs.
We have more solutions.
We have more medical.
We require them to combat the more sickness.
And you know, that mental health is goingthrough the roof.
And yes, there's awareness now where therewasn't before, and there's a whole new place to
(02:50):
look there.
But as a, you know, as a society, yes, there'sa lot of change going on, but there has been
forever.
And I just wonder if it's little words, thingsthat we could change so easily.
Your marketing absolutely tells us that we needthis, we need that.
(03:12):
They're they're bullying us into, oh, we needthis, latest gadget.
You know, it's gonna save us all this time,then we're gonna have time to relax.
So you can't relax without this gadget.
Well, if you can't have that gadget, does thatmean you can't relax?
(03:32):
And that's that will definitely put you into astate of anxiety.
Your your body will, oh my goodness, nodowntime.
You'll be in a heightened rate for far toolong.
That will cause illness.
So this language of need to, need to, insteadof us stopping and going, woah, no I don't.
(03:53):
I don't need to.
I might want to, I might consider it, but I donot need to and rejecting the need, rejecting
the sick and going, wow, that was awesome.
That was brilliant.
That was so much skill involved.
I can see the determination and the dedicationyou put into being able to achieve that.
(04:14):
Right?
Now isn't that a different conversation?
Those are conversations for freedom.
Those are conversations for feeling good, forhappiness, fulfillment.
Those are conversations for you know failingand getting up and going again, rather than
(04:35):
sick and need to.
I mean, I just feel different when I use thosewords.
So whatever the words are for you, and ifyou're not sure about my deposit and withdrawal
words, I invite you.
Go to my website, equestrianconfidence.com.auand even if you're not an equestrian, you know,
(04:55):
use it to contact me and I'll send you thewords, the deposit and withdrawal words or you
know, email me direct to, selena@idden.com.au,and I will I will send you or you know, email
you back a copy of the words.
Just send me your email address.
So, language, they're not just words.
(05:20):
They're our life.
They're our you know, we are the only animals.
We're the only species that has such alanguage.
Yes.
Other animals definitely communicate, a 100%.
Right?
But the language and the in-depth and therichness of it, humans, that's ours.
(05:41):
So embracing that gift, embracing that whichsets us apart and using it with you know,
intelligence, whatever level we have.
If we can speak and we're communicating andwe're using words, then we we have an
intelligence that is special.
(06:03):
Let's use that.
Let's use it to make ourselves happy.
And you know what happens with happy andfulfilled people?
Right?
They're not worrying about, obesity becausethey're they're busy being happy and fulfilled
and generally healthier.
They're not compensating for things.
(06:23):
And, you know, with, addictions, they're notneeding those things as much as they are
enjoying happiness and fulfilledness.
So if that's you know, if you would like someof that, then I really invite you.
No more just words, just a word.
(06:44):
It doesn't mean anything.
It means everything.
It is the storybook to what's going on inside.
Change your words, like really if it was justthe word, need or should.
Now when I say need, maybe you use have to ormust or got to.
(07:05):
Take your pick.
Just take one word of either need, should andget rid of it out of your language.
If you if you really, you know, it doesn't worknot to use it, use it something like that.
To be effective in my communication.
I have to, you know, not use the word have to.
(07:28):
You could turn it around.
You know, if you're gonna use the word need,have it be that something outside of you needs
that, not you personally.
And then you can use it because the worst caseis that whatever needs it, that might fail and
it's not personal.
So I invite you for one month, take awithdrawal word out of your language and see
(07:54):
the difference it makes.
I promise you it will make an amazingdifference, but try it for yourself.
There is nothing easier that you could possiblydo.
You don't have to you don't need gym time.
You might end up going to the gym.
Who knows?
But when when you don't need to, it's amazingwhat shows up because all of a sudden you're
(08:17):
not being a, well, I'll show you or a, I don'tthink so.
I run my own life.
You know, when you're not being bullied andusing the word need to, all of a sudden you
might just want to.
So all of that aside, it takes zero extra timeout of your day.
You know, it's free.
(08:39):
There is no other reason except for, you know,letting go of being unhappy and out of control.
If you want that freedom to just, know, behappy and fulfilled no matter what circumstance
you're in, start with your language.
(08:59):
One month challenge, I dare you.
Go.
I invite you to share with me spreading somekindness today.
Bye for now.
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