January 24, 2022 • 12 mins
Selina Iddon delves into the concept of work-life balance, challenging the illusion of complete happiness. She examines the impact of not living in alignment with one's purpose and introduces the first step toward rebalancing life. The discussion highlights the pitfalls of making someone else your reason for being and the importance of maintaining that reason. Selina explores training for balance by visualizing interconnected aspects of life, stressing the roles of planning, nurturing passions, and discipline. The episode concludes with final thoughts and requests for listeners to reflect on their own balance.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Work life balance.
Who hasn't heard that before?
Good morning.
My name's Selena, and welcome to the AussieMindset Mentor podcast.
Work life balance.
Yep.
That's something that most of us or many of ustry to achieve.
And it's the, like, the the end goal.
(00:29):
It's like the light in the end of the tunnelwhen we're got so many balls in the air and
juggling and dropping them, you know, work,family, you know, passion, some time for
ourselves, sometimes for doing whatever it isthat is niggling down in the bottom of your
tummy and comes last.
(00:50):
And sometimes, you know, in the right in yourbeing, that little thing just gives up even
making a sound.
And yet that that is the the key to thebalance.
That is everything.
Listening to and always being in tune with thatlittle thing inside of you, your calling.
(01:14):
You know, some people might call it yourcalling.
For others, it's their purpose in life, theirwhy.
Whatever it is for you, it's important to stopand listen because you can have every other
ball in the air in your balanced life.
And if you don't have that, it's never going towork.
(01:38):
It's never gonna feel like fulfillment orcomplete or complete happiness.
Even if on the surface that's why on thesurface, when we look at people who seem to
have everything, you know, they got the nicecar.
They got the great job.
They got the great family.
And yet, they're still not content.
(02:01):
I mean, sure.
There's an element of being human that won'thave us happy all the time.
We're not designed to be that way.
However, you know, that true, like, not feelingfulfilled will come when we're not living our
purpose or our why.
And the really hard thing is I'm often speakingto people or coaching people who don't know
(02:27):
their why or who've never really looked.
And for those who have, like myself, it's whenthat why is when I procrastinate or put that
last, put my why last.
That's when things don't work in my life, andthings start showing up, like putting on
(02:47):
weight, not exercising, you know, not doingthings I love.
Just find myself sitting on social media.
Yeah.
Just being a no to getting out and living thisone amazing life.
So the first place in the rebalance, it's notabout getting everything done.
(03:12):
It's not about, you know, get the work and theprogress.
If there's a little bit of progress everywhere,that's great.
It's about checking in on the why, checking inon the purpose.
When you've got that for yourself, you know,that's when things start to work.
Now here's a little downfall with that.
(03:34):
There's always a little catch, isn't there?
If your why is someone else, then I'm gonnasuggest that you relook or re go ahead.
Now some of the feedback I often get when I gohere is, well, it has to be.
It's like they don't have a choice.
(03:55):
That is has to be their why for now in theirlife because it's what has to get done.
No.
No.
That that will breed resentment.
That will just have come on you being a victimto whatever that is.
When even if it's because you love someone andyou and you wanna be happy by being with them,
(04:18):
still, if your happiness is dependent onanother person for whatever reason, Alright?
It's not gonna eventually work.
Eventually, you'll have them feel guilty in theburden of your unhappiness.
Alright?
Now I'm not saying there's not things to managewith outside people.
There are.
But five minutes a day, that's all it wouldtake to visit your why, visit your purpose, and
(04:44):
plan for the future.
You know, in our brains, we don't have to bedoing our why right now.
If we are present to it and it's in our heartsand our minds and we're keeping it alive by
going, right.
Well, I can do you know, in in a year's time,I'll be able to do a b c.
(05:07):
And if it's only twenty minutes a day or twentyminutes a week, alright, if there's just
something that is keeping that alive in thefuture like that is going to happen for you,
then that's that's all it takes.
It's to have that in the future that's pullingyou forth and even when you're doing what you
(05:29):
feel you have to do or, you know, fulfilling oncommitments from love and because you're
choosing to do it.
Because that's the kind of person you are,which is a really great person.
Alright?
When you do stuff for other people, I'm youknow, that is generous.
(05:49):
That's wonderful.
That kind of person is up to big things.
That kind of person, that beautiful person,that's you.
And I acknowledge that.
And I, you know, I say, really, that's great.
That well done.
And remember to keep alive your personal whyfor you, even if you're not doing it right now.
(06:13):
That's the key.
Now the other half to the work life balance orthe life balance, whatever you would like to
call it, is that it's not one ball is the youknow, is work, and then another ball's family,
and then another ball's, you know, the yourpersonal well-being, and then another ball is,
(06:34):
you know, your passions.
That's four balls.
I mean, for the most of us, juggling four andkeeping them all in the air, you know, that's
difficult if we're not really trained.
You get the circus people, and they make itlook so easy to do so many more than four
balls.
Right?
But they're trained.
They put their mind to it.
And when we see these great leaders or thesepeople with great discipline and then doing
(06:57):
that, they trained.
Just like the circus, you know, clown with theballs in the air, they have gone in and done
training.
No one naturally has that balance.
No one.
Alright?
It takes training.
So there is one other way or another concept Iwould like you to share with you today, and
(07:19):
that is what if we crocheted or meshed or builtthem all into each other?
Now what if we didn't have it that our work wasseparate to our our family is separate to our
and I know I'm touching on some big no noshere, and it might not work for you.
But just so many people haven't considered.
(07:40):
You know, when things are joined and sewntogether, they don't have to, you know, consume
each other, but they mesh together such thatthey they have their joints.
They have their boundaries.
When you if you took two crocheted ballstogether or two cloth balls and you sewed them
(08:01):
with string, you know, some really strongcotton and sewed them together, if you did
that, they could never touch together on theoutside.
They would always be joined by what youintentionally joined them.
Alright?
Just get a visual on that.
(08:22):
So if you set really clear boundaries andjoined your work and your family by those
boundaries, that that you know, it wouldn'taffect the outsides.
So many people by keeping them separate orgiving to one or giving to the other because
they have to be separate or they're twodifferent entities, that's where the problem
is.
(08:42):
Now imagine that we also use that cotton and wetied in or we sewn in that that third ball.
Right?
And so that has its boundaries.
That has its touch points.
That has its points where we just accept thisis the crossover.
Alright.
So let's now stitch in that fourth ball.
(09:03):
What we have now is four balls, all tied to allsewn together, connected by a really strong
string.
And now throwing that in up in the air anddown, how easy is that?
It's easy.
Right?
They're not gonna go hitting each other.
They're not gonna fall on the floor.
Alright?
They're going to just you can just toss it upin the air easily.
(09:26):
Most people can throw up in the air one balland catch it again and manage one ball.
Gosh.
You could do that with one hand, and you wouldhave one hand free.
By the way, that free hand, that's your mind.
You are free to think no matter what yourresponsibilities are, no matter what you're
(09:48):
doing.
That free hand, that free mind, you can stillfind opportunities and times to be thinking and
planning, putting thing, you know, things inplace.
And even though they're not happening rightnow, that is balance because you are giving it
you are giving it the one most valuable thingyou have, and that is your time.
(10:14):
Your time to planning it, your time to thinkingabout it.
And that is as I mean, that right there is theseed to success.
And the greatest of trees of any plant, theyall started where you could see nothing for a
while when there were just seeds in the ground,and you couldn't see them.
(10:36):
And then all of a sudden, you could see them,and they grew.
If you can't you know, you're not in anopportune place or you're not in a situation
where you can actually do things about yourpassion and your why or about parts of your
life that you think there's no balance and nothappening.
Give them your time and your mind.
(10:57):
Have them be seeds in the ground that justhaven't flourished yet.
But acknowledge the seed.
Water the seed.
You know, look after the soil, ready for it tobloom.
That's important.
So the two things for today.
One is acknowledge and be sure to be nurturingyour why.
(11:21):
Right?
And the second one is, you know, combine allthose parts of your life.
It is one life.
That balance, you're not living four or fivedifferent lives or three different lives.
One family, one call work.
It doesn't it's not like that.
Combine them with discipline and trainingconsciously.
(11:44):
Combine them.
Sew them together so that they work.
And as one, you will find it so much easier tomanage.
Well, at the end of every podcast, I make arequest of you.
We wanna be happy, and connection is what partof what we as humans require to be happy.
(12:06):
So go out.
Be kind today.
Be kind to yourself and be kind to someoneelse.
I'm gonna make two requests today.
Thank you so much for listening, and I lookforward to you, you know, maybe leaving a
comment or a rating.
That really helps me.
I do these for free, and I really wanna getthat message out there.
(12:26):
Just kindness.
That's my message.
Bye for now.
Work life balance.
Who hasn't heard that before?
Good morning.
My name's Selena, and welcome to the AussieMindset Mentor podcast.
Work life balance.
Yep.
That's something that most of us or many of ustry to achieve.
And it's the, like, the the end goal.
(00:29):
It's like the light in the end of the tunnelwhen we're got so many balls in the air and
juggling and dropping them, you know, work,family, you know, passion, some time for
ourselves, sometimes for doing whatever it isthat is niggling down in the bottom of your
tummy and comes last.
(00:50):
And sometimes, you know, in the right in yourbeing, that little thing just gives up even
making a sound.
And yet that that is the the key to thebalance.
That is everything.
Listening to and always being in tune with thatlittle thing inside of you, your calling.
(01:14):
You know, some people might call it yourcalling.
For others, it's their purpose in life, theirwhy.
Whatever it is for you, it's important to stopand listen because you can have every other
ball in the air in your balanced life.
And if you don't have that, it's never going towork.
(01:38):
It's never gonna feel like fulfillment orcomplete or complete happiness.
Even if on the surface that's why on thesurface, when we look at people who seem to
have everything, you know, they got the nicecar.
They got the great job.
They got the great family.
And yet, they're still not content.
(02:01):
I mean, sure.
There's an element of being human that won'thave us happy all the time.
We're not designed to be that way.
However, you know, that true, like, not feelingfulfilled will come when we're not living our
purpose or our why.
And the really hard thing is I'm often speakingto people or coaching people who don't know
(02:27):
their why or who've never really looked.
And for those who have, like myself, it's whenthat why is when I procrastinate or put that
last, put my why last.
That's when things don't work in my life, andthings start showing up, like putting on
(02:47):
weight, not exercising, you know, not doingthings I love.
Just find myself sitting on social media.
Yeah.
Just being a no to getting out and living thisone amazing life.
So the first place in the rebalance, it's notabout getting everything done.
(03:12):
It's not about, you know, get the work and theprogress.
If there's a little bit of progress everywhere,that's great.
It's about checking in on the why, checking inon the purpose.
When you've got that for yourself, you know,that's when things start to work.
Now here's a little downfall with that.
(03:34):
There's always a little catch, isn't there?
If your why is someone else, then I'm gonnasuggest that you relook or re go ahead.
Now some of the feedback I often get when I gohere is, well, it has to be.
It's like they don't have a choice.
(03:55):
That is has to be their why for now in theirlife because it's what has to get done.
No.
No.
That that will breed resentment.
That will just have come on you being a victimto whatever that is.
When even if it's because you love someone andyou and you wanna be happy by being with them,
(04:18):
still, if your happiness is dependent onanother person for whatever reason, Alright?
It's not gonna eventually work.
Eventually, you'll have them feel guilty in theburden of your unhappiness.
Alright?
Now I'm not saying there's not things to managewith outside people.
There are.
But five minutes a day, that's all it wouldtake to visit your why, visit your purpose, and
(04:44):
plan for the future.
You know, in our brains, we don't have to bedoing our why right now.
If we are present to it and it's in our heartsand our minds and we're keeping it alive by
going, right.
Well, I can do you know, in in a year's time,I'll be able to do a b c.
(05:07):
And if it's only twenty minutes a day or twentyminutes a week, alright, if there's just
something that is keeping that alive in thefuture like that is going to happen for you,
then that's that's all it takes.
It's to have that in the future that's pullingyou forth and even when you're doing what you
(05:29):
feel you have to do or, you know, fulfilling oncommitments from love and because you're
choosing to do it.
Because that's the kind of person you are,which is a really great person.
Alright?
When you do stuff for other people, I'm youknow, that is generous.
(05:49):
That's wonderful.
That kind of person is up to big things.
That kind of person, that beautiful person,that's you.
And I acknowledge that.
And I, you know, I say, really, that's great.
That well done.
And remember to keep alive your personal whyfor you, even if you're not doing it right now.
(06:13):
That's the key.
Now the other half to the work life balance orthe life balance, whatever you would like to
call it, is that it's not one ball is the youknow, is work, and then another ball's family,
and then another ball's, you know, the yourpersonal well-being, and then another ball is,
(06:34):
you know, your passions.
That's four balls.
I mean, for the most of us, juggling four andkeeping them all in the air, you know, that's
difficult if we're not really trained.
You get the circus people, and they make itlook so easy to do so many more than four
balls.
Right?
But they're trained.
They put their mind to it.
And when we see these great leaders or thesepeople with great discipline and then doing
(06:57):
that, they trained.
Just like the circus, you know, clown with theballs in the air, they have gone in and done
training.
No one naturally has that balance.
No one.
Alright?
It takes training.
So there is one other way or another concept Iwould like you to share with you today, and
(07:19):
that is what if we crocheted or meshed or builtthem all into each other?
Now what if we didn't have it that our work wasseparate to our our family is separate to our
and I know I'm touching on some big no noshere, and it might not work for you.
But just so many people haven't considered.
(07:40):
You know, when things are joined and sewntogether, they don't have to, you know, consume
each other, but they mesh together such thatthey they have their joints.
They have their boundaries.
When you if you took two crocheted ballstogether or two cloth balls and you sewed them
(08:01):
with string, you know, some really strongcotton and sewed them together, if you did
that, they could never touch together on theoutside.
They would always be joined by what youintentionally joined them.
Alright?
Just get a visual on that.
(08:22):
So if you set really clear boundaries andjoined your work and your family by those
boundaries, that that you know, it wouldn'taffect the outsides.
So many people by keeping them separate orgiving to one or giving to the other because
they have to be separate or they're twodifferent entities, that's where the problem
is.
(08:42):
Now imagine that we also use that cotton and wetied in or we sewn in that that third ball.
Right?
And so that has its boundaries.
That has its touch points.
That has its points where we just accept thisis the crossover.
Alright.
So let's now stitch in that fourth ball.
(09:03):
What we have now is four balls, all tied to allsewn together, connected by a really strong
string.
And now throwing that in up in the air anddown, how easy is that?
It's easy.
Right?
They're not gonna go hitting each other.
They're not gonna fall on the floor.
Alright?
They're going to just you can just toss it upin the air easily.
(09:26):
Most people can throw up in the air one balland catch it again and manage one ball.
Gosh.
You could do that with one hand, and you wouldhave one hand free.
By the way, that free hand, that's your mind.
You are free to think no matter what yourresponsibilities are, no matter what you're
(09:48):
doing.
That free hand, that free mind, you can stillfind opportunities and times to be thinking and
planning, putting thing, you know, things inplace.
And even though they're not happening rightnow, that is balance because you are giving it
you are giving it the one most valuable thingyou have, and that is your time.
(10:14):
Your time to planning it, your time to thinkingabout it.
And that is as I mean, that right there is theseed to success.
And the greatest of trees of any plant, theyall started where you could see nothing for a
while when there were just seeds in the ground,and you couldn't see them.
(10:36):
And then all of a sudden, you could see them,and they grew.
If you can't you know, you're not in anopportune place or you're not in a situation
where you can actually do things about yourpassion and your why or about parts of your
life that you think there's no balance and nothappening.
Give them your time and your mind.
(10:57):
Have them be seeds in the ground that justhaven't flourished yet.
But acknowledge the seed.
Water the seed.
You know, look after the soil, ready for it tobloom.
That's important.
So the two things for today.
One is acknowledge and be sure to be nurturingyour why.
(11:21):
Right?
And the second one is, you know, combine allthose parts of your life.
It is one life.
That balance, you're not living four or fivedifferent lives or three different lives.
One family, one call work.
It doesn't it's not like that.
Combine them with discipline and trainingconsciously.
(11:44):
Combine them.
Sew them together so that they work.
And as one, you will find it so much easier tomanage.
Well, at the end of every podcast, I make arequest of you.
We wanna be happy, and connection is what partof what we as humans require to be happy.
(12:06):
So go out.
Be kind today.
Be kind to yourself and be kind to someoneelse.
I'm gonna make two requests today.
Thank you so much for listening, and I lookforward to you, you know, maybe leaving a
comment or a rating.
That really helps me.
I do these for free, and I really wanna getthat message out there.
(12:26):
Just kindness.
That's my message.
Bye for now.
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