February 23, 2022 • 11 mins
Selina Iddon begins by discussing the mission of the podcast and its impact on promoting kindness and mindful language. She emphasizes the importance of nurturing and embracing children's unique quirks and finding a supportive community. The episode addresses common misconceptions about happiness and highlights the significance of instilling respect, gratitude, and balanced confidence in children. Selina explores the role of unconditional love and strategies for handling criticism. The episode concludes with a call to embrace individual quirks and continue spreading kindness.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Good morning.
Welcome to the Aussie Mindset Mentor.
Welcome back to those who listen to meregularly.
If you it is your first time, I invite you topress subscribe.
I don't make any money off these.
However, I do have a mission to spread kindnessand the impact that language can have on the
world.
(00:28):
And that's a message I really wanna get outthere.
So if you could subscribe, that helps.
Share, that's great too.
Today is for the parents.
And here it is.
If you want a cookie cutter kid, iron out theirquirks.
But if you want a unique, special child, thennurture their quirks.
(00:52):
Now their quirks aren't easy.
Quirks are never easy.
Alright?
They don't show up in a in a book.
Or if they do, generally, a lot of peoplearound you won't be dealing with those same
quirks.
Now just about every quirk, there's somethingout there.
There's a book.
But it you know, you might be in a circle whereother kids around you aren't dealing with those
(01:13):
challenges.
And all of a sudden, it looks like your childwon't fit in.
Or it's nothing that you've confronted beforeor, you know, when we were at school, if you
had that quirk, oh my gosh, that meant beingouted.
I mean, maybe even it's a quirk like you whenit's something you learned not to like about
(01:34):
yourself, something that was dangerous becausewhen it showed up, people, you know, took
advantage of it.
People maybe laughed at you, kids, becausecalled you different, called you names.
But consider, your children are not you.
Right?
It's a different time.
And, yes, there might be children laugh atthem.
(01:55):
But so what?
If we look at everyone that we're trulyinspired by, everyone that we look up to and
admire, even if it's quietly secretly, there'ssomething different about them.
Whether it's an air of confidence, whether it'sthat funny little dance move they have,
(02:16):
whatever it is, there's something different.
There's something their own quirk.
Alright?
Something that we don't have.
But we all have our own quirks.
At some point, you know, it became dangerous toshow that quirk or be that or live it or
nurture it because it maybe it was associatedwith pain.
(02:41):
Fundamentally, as human beings, we wanna fitin.
Like, we want our tribe.
Okay?
And there's so much out there about find yourtribe, but it's true.
Alright?
And when you find that niche that you fit intowhere you feel normal, you know, like how many
movies are there about the nerdy group or thein group or, you know, the mean girl group or
(03:04):
the, you know, like every movie has theirstereotypes.
And it doesn't matter where you fit as long asyou're happy.
As a parent, we want the best for our children.
And it looks from the outside or it can looklike the the way of being loved and having all
the likes and being popular that that isassociated with happiness.
(03:28):
It no.
That just has a whole different set of fearsunderlying and, you know, cut down by tall
poppy syndrome or, oh, overconfident, you know,someone will come along and bam.
Now there's a difference between just allowingchildren to be, you know, boldly confident
expressed thoughtlessly.
(03:50):
Yeah, you can have them be thoughtful and youcan have them, you know, teach them gratitude.
Teach them, you know, respect and listening.
And I don't mean respect where just becausesomeone's older, you do what they say.
Not that respect.
Respect for themselves, for who they are withtheir quirks.
(04:14):
You know, respect your quirks.
So when you can truly embrace all of that andwhen you can nurture their quirks in a way, you
know, that super confidence that comes over alittle, like, in your face and it's all like
that super confidence just has them talking andleading and telling others what to do.
Fine.
(04:35):
Teach them listening.
Teach them leadership of, you know, includingothers.
Teach them the joys of, you know, contributingto and being allowing that contribution from
others.
Let others be lit up around you by letting themcontribute, including letting your kids
contribute.
That's a little off topic.
(04:56):
That's another podcast.
For today, it's about the quirks.
See, there's a balance.
You know, too often, we try to take away someof that confidence and just shut it down, you
know, in the old days old days.
You know?
I know when I was growing up, it was very muchbe seen and not heard for children.
(05:17):
Now that wasn't always the case in mychildhood, but I do know for the broader part,
that was an expectation.
Even when I was, you know, allowed to run alittle bit crazy sometimes, school, I tempered
myself.
But at, you know, at home, I was nurtured.
I was loved, and I was encouraged.
(05:39):
And I was supported, and I could be doing oh, Iremember going to this party with red hair, and
I don't know if it was a wig or I dyed it, butI was just so oh, I'm with this red hair.
I was being dramatic, and I was, yeah, youknow, being it was all about me with this red
hair.
And someone made this comment to me.
(05:59):
I was kinda hurtful at the time, but boy, did Ineed it at the time.
It was something that a parent can't say, bythe way.
If it would have been one of my parents, thatwould have been devastating.
But I looked over, my mom was sitting there allproud looking back at me.
Excuse me.
And it didn't really matter what I did.
She was so proud of me.
(06:20):
You know?
And that was a foundation.
All everything else could be falling downaround me, but my mom loved me unconditionally.
My quirks and all.
You know?
They were not always easy for her.
Like, it is so much easier to dampen thequirks, especially when we don't always
understand them.
(06:41):
You know?
It's just like like, when the kids are sodifferent to us sometimes, and they've been
brought up different.
Like, they're exposed to different things.
It's so easy to just try to knock those quirksoff and put them into a box that we can
understand for us to feel comfortable.
But that's not about the child, really.
So today is about having that unique, gorgeous,confident, amazing child.
(07:12):
Right?
That one with the quirks.
So don't try to iron them out.
Embrace them.
Just love kids unconditionally and balance themout by teaching them other skills, not by
knocking off those they have.
Leave them with their confidence.
(07:33):
You know?
And if you're concerned about and look.
There is a level here that is not gonna servethem if it's not balanced by teaching them
listening skills, connection skills withothers, you know, what it means to be included
and and connected, not needing to be.
(07:56):
There's a big difference.
They don't need to be.
However, the joy of it.
And coming from that space, their confidencewill lead responsibly, and they'll become the
leaders that we really need for tomorrow.
And, okay, as a parent, we can easily lookaround the world, and we can look at all of the
(08:20):
politicians.
We can look at all of the leaders, and everysingle one of them has got a big target on
them.
And it's go, oh my gosh.
I'd never want my kid to do that because youknow however pure their intentions, no matter
what they're gonna be part of an institution,they are going to be targeted.
It doesn't matter how great they are.
(08:40):
People will find that one little thing and takethem down.
But here's the thing to remember about that.
Right?
Social media, it's not the true populace.
Right?
They're the people with the time on theirhands.
They're just the people hitting the keyboard.
The truly successful, the truly great peopleout there making a difference.
(09:00):
You know, they might feel or see some of thosecomments, but most of the time, they're just
turning them off.
And that's what they're telling people thatthey're mentoring is don't read them.
Just turn them off.
Because there are people there.
It wouldn't matter what what you did, what yousaid.
They would find a hard side.
They would find something negative becausethey're hurting, because they're living in
(09:21):
fear, and because you were challenging that youwere rising above and you are reflecting what's
in them that they don't want to see.
They they've got all of this greatness in them,and they don't wanna let it out for fear.
And, you know, when someone else is letting itout, that's confronting.
So it's just like, you know, they're probablylooking at them going, well, if they can, why
(09:43):
can't I?
Well, hang on.
I'm not going to.
I'm in fear.
I don't want this.
I'm gonna suppress it.
And then the flip side is, you know, that theygo back on you and attack you and wanna bring
you down because you're making them actuallyfeel bad for them not living their wholeness
and greatness.
So when they come at them, just like thatperson at the party with me with my red hair,
(10:09):
have your child look around the room and seeyou looking back at them and them experiencing
that unconditional love that they can go aheadand build whatever life they want on top of as
a foundation.
So, oh, bit emotional today.
(10:31):
I really miss my mom.
So that's it.
Like, really, if your kid has quirks and everykid has quirks, nurture them.
Don't try to iron them out.
Don't kill off those quirks.
Nurture them and turn them into confidentleaders of the future or just happy kids.
(10:56):
Just turn them into happy kids, and they can dowhatever the hell they want.
But if they're happy and they're coming fromwhat I believe is the true essence of us as
humans, and that is being kind and connected,they'll be fine.
And on that, please join me in going andspreading some kindness today.
Thanks for listening.
(11:17):
Hope you join me again.
Please subscribe if you haven't.
Bye for now.
Good morning.
Welcome to the Aussie Mindset Mentor.
Welcome back to those who listen to meregularly.
If you it is your first time, I invite you topress subscribe.
I don't make any money off these.
However, I do have a mission to spread kindnessand the impact that language can have on the
world.
(00:28):
And that's a message I really wanna get outthere.
So if you could subscribe, that helps.
Share, that's great too.
Today is for the parents.
And here it is.
If you want a cookie cutter kid, iron out theirquirks.
But if you want a unique, special child, thennurture their quirks.
(00:52):
Now their quirks aren't easy.
Quirks are never easy.
Alright?
They don't show up in a in a book.
Or if they do, generally, a lot of peoplearound you won't be dealing with those same
quirks.
Now just about every quirk, there's somethingout there.
There's a book.
But it you know, you might be in a circle whereother kids around you aren't dealing with those
(01:13):
challenges.
And all of a sudden, it looks like your childwon't fit in.
Or it's nothing that you've confronted beforeor, you know, when we were at school, if you
had that quirk, oh my gosh, that meant beingouted.
I mean, maybe even it's a quirk like you whenit's something you learned not to like about
(01:34):
yourself, something that was dangerous becausewhen it showed up, people, you know, took
advantage of it.
People maybe laughed at you, kids, becausecalled you different, called you names.
But consider, your children are not you.
Right?
It's a different time.
And, yes, there might be children laugh atthem.
(01:55):
But so what?
If we look at everyone that we're trulyinspired by, everyone that we look up to and
admire, even if it's quietly secretly, there'ssomething different about them.
Whether it's an air of confidence, whether it'sthat funny little dance move they have,
(02:16):
whatever it is, there's something different.
There's something their own quirk.
Alright?
Something that we don't have.
But we all have our own quirks.
At some point, you know, it became dangerous toshow that quirk or be that or live it or
nurture it because it maybe it was associatedwith pain.
(02:41):
Fundamentally, as human beings, we wanna fitin.
Like, we want our tribe.
Okay?
And there's so much out there about find yourtribe, but it's true.
Alright?
And when you find that niche that you fit intowhere you feel normal, you know, like how many
movies are there about the nerdy group or thein group or, you know, the mean girl group or
(03:04):
the, you know, like every movie has theirstereotypes.
And it doesn't matter where you fit as long asyou're happy.
As a parent, we want the best for our children.
And it looks from the outside or it can looklike the the way of being loved and having all
the likes and being popular that that isassociated with happiness.
(03:28):
It no.
That just has a whole different set of fearsunderlying and, you know, cut down by tall
poppy syndrome or, oh, overconfident, you know,someone will come along and bam.
Now there's a difference between just allowingchildren to be, you know, boldly confident
expressed thoughtlessly.
(03:50):
Yeah, you can have them be thoughtful and youcan have them, you know, teach them gratitude.
Teach them, you know, respect and listening.
And I don't mean respect where just becausesomeone's older, you do what they say.
Not that respect.
Respect for themselves, for who they are withtheir quirks.
(04:14):
You know, respect your quirks.
So when you can truly embrace all of that andwhen you can nurture their quirks in a way, you
know, that super confidence that comes over alittle, like, in your face and it's all like
that super confidence just has them talking andleading and telling others what to do.
Fine.
(04:35):
Teach them listening.
Teach them leadership of, you know, includingothers.
Teach them the joys of, you know, contributingto and being allowing that contribution from
others.
Let others be lit up around you by letting themcontribute, including letting your kids
contribute.
That's a little off topic.
(04:56):
That's another podcast.
For today, it's about the quirks.
See, there's a balance.
You know, too often, we try to take away someof that confidence and just shut it down, you
know, in the old days old days.
You know?
I know when I was growing up, it was very muchbe seen and not heard for children.
(05:17):
Now that wasn't always the case in mychildhood, but I do know for the broader part,
that was an expectation.
Even when I was, you know, allowed to run alittle bit crazy sometimes, school, I tempered
myself.
But at, you know, at home, I was nurtured.
I was loved, and I was encouraged.
(05:39):
And I was supported, and I could be doing oh, Iremember going to this party with red hair, and
I don't know if it was a wig or I dyed it, butI was just so oh, I'm with this red hair.
I was being dramatic, and I was, yeah, youknow, being it was all about me with this red
hair.
And someone made this comment to me.
(05:59):
I was kinda hurtful at the time, but boy, did Ineed it at the time.
It was something that a parent can't say, bythe way.
If it would have been one of my parents, thatwould have been devastating.
But I looked over, my mom was sitting there allproud looking back at me.
Excuse me.
And it didn't really matter what I did.
She was so proud of me.
(06:20):
You know?
And that was a foundation.
All everything else could be falling downaround me, but my mom loved me unconditionally.
My quirks and all.
You know?
They were not always easy for her.
Like, it is so much easier to dampen thequirks, especially when we don't always
understand them.
(06:41):
You know?
It's just like like, when the kids are sodifferent to us sometimes, and they've been
brought up different.
Like, they're exposed to different things.
It's so easy to just try to knock those quirksoff and put them into a box that we can
understand for us to feel comfortable.
But that's not about the child, really.
So today is about having that unique, gorgeous,confident, amazing child.
(07:12):
Right?
That one with the quirks.
So don't try to iron them out.
Embrace them.
Just love kids unconditionally and balance themout by teaching them other skills, not by
knocking off those they have.
Leave them with their confidence.
(07:33):
You know?
And if you're concerned about and look.
There is a level here that is not gonna servethem if it's not balanced by teaching them
listening skills, connection skills withothers, you know, what it means to be included
and and connected, not needing to be.
(07:56):
There's a big difference.
They don't need to be.
However, the joy of it.
And coming from that space, their confidencewill lead responsibly, and they'll become the
leaders that we really need for tomorrow.
And, okay, as a parent, we can easily lookaround the world, and we can look at all of the
(08:20):
politicians.
We can look at all of the leaders, and everysingle one of them has got a big target on
them.
And it's go, oh my gosh.
I'd never want my kid to do that because youknow however pure their intentions, no matter
what they're gonna be part of an institution,they are going to be targeted.
It doesn't matter how great they are.
(08:40):
People will find that one little thing and takethem down.
But here's the thing to remember about that.
Right?
Social media, it's not the true populace.
Right?
They're the people with the time on theirhands.
They're just the people hitting the keyboard.
The truly successful, the truly great peopleout there making a difference.
(09:00):
You know, they might feel or see some of thosecomments, but most of the time, they're just
turning them off.
And that's what they're telling people thatthey're mentoring is don't read them.
Just turn them off.
Because there are people there.
It wouldn't matter what what you did, what yousaid.
They would find a hard side.
They would find something negative becausethey're hurting, because they're living in
(09:21):
fear, and because you were challenging that youwere rising above and you are reflecting what's
in them that they don't want to see.
They they've got all of this greatness in them,and they don't wanna let it out for fear.
And, you know, when someone else is letting itout, that's confronting.
So it's just like, you know, they're probablylooking at them going, well, if they can, why
(09:43):
can't I?
Well, hang on.
I'm not going to.
I'm in fear.
I don't want this.
I'm gonna suppress it.
And then the flip side is, you know, that theygo back on you and attack you and wanna bring
you down because you're making them actuallyfeel bad for them not living their wholeness
and greatness.
So when they come at them, just like thatperson at the party with me with my red hair,
(10:09):
have your child look around the room and seeyou looking back at them and them experiencing
that unconditional love that they can go aheadand build whatever life they want on top of as
a foundation.
So, oh, bit emotional today.
(10:31):
I really miss my mom.
So that's it.
Like, really, if your kid has quirks and everykid has quirks, nurture them.
Don't try to iron them out.
Don't kill off those quirks.
Nurture them and turn them into confidentleaders of the future or just happy kids.
(10:56):
Just turn them into happy kids, and they can dowhatever the hell they want.
But if they're happy and they're coming fromwhat I believe is the true essence of us as
humans, and that is being kind and connected,they'll be fine.
And on that, please join me in going andspreading some kindness today.
Thanks for listening.
(11:17):
Hope you join me again.
Please subscribe if you haven't.
Bye for now.
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