December 2, 2021 • 10 mins
Selina Iddon begins by celebrating milestones and underscores the importance of sharing achievements. She then shifts focus to the power of language, offering a giveaway to listeners. The episode examines the limitations of the word "try" and suggests empowering alternatives for clearer communication and stronger commitments. Selina uses real-life examples to illustrate how "trying" can negatively impact relationships and social interactions. She emphasizes the value of committing fully and learning from failures as a pathway to personal growth.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
Good morning from the Aussie Mindset Mentor.
My name's Selena.
I'm really excited today.
And the reason is 5,000 downloads.
Thank you, thank you, thank you because I knowif you're listening to this you are part of
what helped create that.
I don't advertise, I don't make any money offthe podcast.
(00:29):
I know that this only has happened fromsharing.
And so thank you for sharing with your friends,and I have asked you to keep doing that.
And why?
Why would I ask you to do that?
Why am I doing this?
Well, it's because our language in in ourculture, I I wanna change it, pure and simply.
(00:52):
There are words like, oh, I have to, I must,got to, need to, should, will try to, oh it's
happening to me again.
These words are not words that empower oursociety.
They don't create the kind of person that'sgoing to get out there and make a difference
and to create this amazing world for ourchildren.
(01:14):
It's not going to create children and youngpeople who are going to grow up into being as
confident as they can be and into really makingthe changes that are coming that need to for
survival really.
So that's why I'm excited that people aregetting on board with this journey of changing
(01:38):
the language and as my thank you I am givingaway little cards and I'll put a link into the
podcast script and basically they're aboutdeposit language words like get to, want to,
choose to, committed to, going to, gave my wordto, for me, those kind of words right and the
(02:03):
withdrawal language, the language with wordsthat take away from your happiness, take away
from your power, they're on the back with apicture of a little drought ridden land.
I've also got postcards that you can put onyour fridge so the business card and postcards
and I will give those to you for free.
All you've got to do is click that link or youcan go to the Aussie mindset mentor Facebook
(02:27):
page and there will be a link on there.
I've just asked for the postage and the postageand handling $2 to send it out.
So that's my giveaway to say thank you and whatwe're going to cover today is we're going to
have a look at the we'll try, the word try.
(02:48):
I'm going to assert that to try is a lie andwhy would I say that?
Well there's no power in it.
One of the things that I've noticed with theword try and I'm hearing it more and more, it's
almost an acceptable abbreviation these daysfor I can't but I really don't want to talk
(03:10):
about it right now and I don't want to upsetyou, so I'll just tell you I'll try and I've
got no real intention of giving it my best.
So just try this.
I'm going to challenge you the next time you goto use the word try to change it to, I'll do my
best to There's an accountability to that.
(03:35):
It's called failing.
If you don't achieve it and failing is a goodthing.
There's not enough failing going on.
So to try, look, I'll give you a littleexercise and we're going to demonstrate this.
Get a small article that you've got sittingaround somewhere.
(03:56):
I've got a pencil here, you'd have a tissue,cup, whatever, and I want you to put it on a
flat surface in front of you.
Now I want you to try and pick it up.
Go ahead and try to pick it up.
Now imagine I'm asking well, I am asking you,where is that object?
(04:17):
Now if it's in your hand, right, you justfailed at trying because you just picked it up
and no offense intended.
Right?
So I want you to put it back down.
I just want you to try and pick it up.
Okay.
Let's do that again.
So we've got another thing.
Try and pick it up.
(04:38):
Now again, if you've picked it up, then that'snot trying.
That's picking it up.
That's actually doing it.
That's picking it up.
So put it back down.
Now, if your hands just hovering over the top,like just kind of dangling there when you
close-up.
But now I want you to really try.
Have you ever heard anybody say, look, I'mreally trying.
(05:01):
They say, oh, well, try harder.
I'm trying.
I'm trying.
Well, do that to this picking up this object,like almost till your hands kind of shaking,
but you're not allowed to pick it up.
Remember, you're only trying.
By this stage, you're probably going a bit nutsand you might even be swearing at me.
(05:24):
But hopefully you kind of get the demonstrationin that you either pick it up or you leave it
there.
But imagine if you went to a cafe and youlooked around the tables and there were people
there and they just had their hands shaking inthis really intense look on their face and
they're trying, I'm trying to pick up the cup.
(05:46):
Like you'd little bit concerned, right?
Or you'd ask if you could help them or like awhole host of things, right?
But we don't do that.
We don't try to pick something up.
Either pick it up or we don't.
However, when someone says, Oh, do you want tocome around on Sunday?
Oh, I'll try.
I've got something earlier.
(06:09):
And I'm going to think, I've got to asksomeone, I'll try.
I'll see what I can do.
All right.
No, it's just like, just be straight.
I can't commit to that right now.
I'll get back to you if something changes.
Will that work for you?
Like, do you need an answer right now?
And those go either, Oh, yes, we're catering.
So, well, look, I can't commit.
(06:31):
Have a great time and please, hopefully nexttime.
Or they could say, you just get back to us bytonight.
Okay, I'll get back to you.
And then get back to them.
Now that, could you hear the power?
Can you hear the honesty?
Can you hear how there's a future relationshiphappening right there, a healthy future
(06:53):
relationship rather than I'll try and then justforgetting about it and then that's kind of
left there for the other person.
It's strange that we do this as a peoplepleasing thing and we want to be nice, we don't
want to offend them but in fact it has theabsolute opposite effect.
(07:14):
It will leave people with upset if you justkeep trying and trying, they won't feel valued
and neither should they.
The best way to get around this is tellyourself and I say to try is a lie because
you're not a liar.
I know that the kind of people who listen tothis to my podcast, they are honest, striving,
(07:39):
people who are out to live great lives.
They're not liars.
So the thought of for me of lying is just like,oh, I don't want to do that.
And that's a really quick way to have me notuse the word try.
Because if to try is a lie, I don't want totry.
(08:01):
And if I do, I want to fail spectacularly andtell the other people about it so that there's
nothing left in that space.
People sort of said, said, try and make it.
Oh, yeah.
But, you know, that's that's what's her sayingthat.
She says it all the time.
Alright?
Rather than me ring back afterwards and say,what?
I can't make it.
My trying wasn't good enough.
(08:22):
I failed.
Can't get there.
Then they go, oh, okay, no worries.
Thanks for letting me know.
That's it, clean.
So whether you take on that to try really is alie, or whether you take on that to try is a
lie simply to help discipline yourself to giveup trying, take your pick but either way it's a
(08:48):
great outcome.
I invite you to commit to things.
I invite you to fail spectacularly.
I invite you if someone says, oh, do you knowhow to play?
I don't know, play the drums and you say, well,I don't know if I know how rather than I'll
try.
(09:08):
Just be straight up front.
There's lots of different ways you can use itand it's a lot of fun, I promise you.
So get rid of that, get back to having fun,just being straight, getting back to people,
creating great relationships.
Because in the end of the day, when we havegreat relationships, when we're not trying,
(09:31):
we're being kind.
And that's the ultimate for me.
And that's why I want to disappear words out ofour language because at the end of the day, an
empowered person is a kind person.
So thank you for listening today.
I really appreciate you being here.
(09:52):
I hope you'll come back and I hope you'll sharethis.
Until then, bye for now.
Good morning from the Aussie Mindset Mentor.
My name's Selena.
I'm really excited today.
And the reason is 5,000 downloads.
Thank you, thank you, thank you because I knowif you're listening to this you are part of
what helped create that.
I don't advertise, I don't make any money offthe podcast.
(00:29):
I know that this only has happened fromsharing.
And so thank you for sharing with your friends,and I have asked you to keep doing that.
And why?
Why would I ask you to do that?
Why am I doing this?
Well, it's because our language in in ourculture, I I wanna change it, pure and simply.
(00:52):
There are words like, oh, I have to, I must,got to, need to, should, will try to, oh it's
happening to me again.
These words are not words that empower oursociety.
They don't create the kind of person that'sgoing to get out there and make a difference
and to create this amazing world for ourchildren.
(01:14):
It's not going to create children and youngpeople who are going to grow up into being as
confident as they can be and into really makingthe changes that are coming that need to for
survival really.
So that's why I'm excited that people aregetting on board with this journey of changing
(01:38):
the language and as my thank you I am givingaway little cards and I'll put a link into the
podcast script and basically they're aboutdeposit language words like get to, want to,
choose to, committed to, going to, gave my wordto, for me, those kind of words right and the
(02:03):
withdrawal language, the language with wordsthat take away from your happiness, take away
from your power, they're on the back with apicture of a little drought ridden land.
I've also got postcards that you can put onyour fridge so the business card and postcards
and I will give those to you for free.
All you've got to do is click that link or youcan go to the Aussie mindset mentor Facebook
(02:27):
page and there will be a link on there.
I've just asked for the postage and the postageand handling $2 to send it out.
So that's my giveaway to say thank you and whatwe're going to cover today is we're going to
have a look at the we'll try, the word try.
(02:48):
I'm going to assert that to try is a lie andwhy would I say that?
Well there's no power in it.
One of the things that I've noticed with theword try and I'm hearing it more and more, it's
almost an acceptable abbreviation these daysfor I can't but I really don't want to talk
(03:10):
about it right now and I don't want to upsetyou, so I'll just tell you I'll try and I've
got no real intention of giving it my best.
So just try this.
I'm going to challenge you the next time you goto use the word try to change it to, I'll do my
best to There's an accountability to that.
(03:35):
It's called failing.
If you don't achieve it and failing is a goodthing.
There's not enough failing going on.
So to try, look, I'll give you a littleexercise and we're going to demonstrate this.
Get a small article that you've got sittingaround somewhere.
(03:56):
I've got a pencil here, you'd have a tissue,cup, whatever, and I want you to put it on a
flat surface in front of you.
Now I want you to try and pick it up.
Go ahead and try to pick it up.
Now imagine I'm asking well, I am asking you,where is that object?
(04:17):
Now if it's in your hand, right, you justfailed at trying because you just picked it up
and no offense intended.
Right?
So I want you to put it back down.
I just want you to try and pick it up.
Okay.
Let's do that again.
So we've got another thing.
Try and pick it up.
(04:38):
Now again, if you've picked it up, then that'snot trying.
That's picking it up.
That's actually doing it.
That's picking it up.
So put it back down.
Now, if your hands just hovering over the top,like just kind of dangling there when you
close-up.
But now I want you to really try.
Have you ever heard anybody say, look, I'mreally trying.
(05:01):
They say, oh, well, try harder.
I'm trying.
I'm trying.
Well, do that to this picking up this object,like almost till your hands kind of shaking,
but you're not allowed to pick it up.
Remember, you're only trying.
By this stage, you're probably going a bit nutsand you might even be swearing at me.
(05:24):
But hopefully you kind of get the demonstrationin that you either pick it up or you leave it
there.
But imagine if you went to a cafe and youlooked around the tables and there were people
there and they just had their hands shaking inthis really intense look on their face and
they're trying, I'm trying to pick up the cup.
(05:46):
Like you'd little bit concerned, right?
Or you'd ask if you could help them or like awhole host of things, right?
But we don't do that.
We don't try to pick something up.
Either pick it up or we don't.
However, when someone says, Oh, do you want tocome around on Sunday?
Oh, I'll try.
I've got something earlier.
(06:09):
And I'm going to think, I've got to asksomeone, I'll try.
I'll see what I can do.
All right.
No, it's just like, just be straight.
I can't commit to that right now.
I'll get back to you if something changes.
Will that work for you?
Like, do you need an answer right now?
And those go either, Oh, yes, we're catering.
So, well, look, I can't commit.
(06:31):
Have a great time and please, hopefully nexttime.
Or they could say, you just get back to us bytonight.
Okay, I'll get back to you.
And then get back to them.
Now that, could you hear the power?
Can you hear the honesty?
Can you hear how there's a future relationshiphappening right there, a healthy future
(06:53):
relationship rather than I'll try and then justforgetting about it and then that's kind of
left there for the other person.
It's strange that we do this as a peoplepleasing thing and we want to be nice, we don't
want to offend them but in fact it has theabsolute opposite effect.
(07:14):
It will leave people with upset if you justkeep trying and trying, they won't feel valued
and neither should they.
The best way to get around this is tellyourself and I say to try is a lie because
you're not a liar.
I know that the kind of people who listen tothis to my podcast, they are honest, striving,
(07:39):
people who are out to live great lives.
They're not liars.
So the thought of for me of lying is just like,oh, I don't want to do that.
And that's a really quick way to have me notuse the word try.
Because if to try is a lie, I don't want totry.
(08:01):
And if I do, I want to fail spectacularly andtell the other people about it so that there's
nothing left in that space.
People sort of said, said, try and make it.
Oh, yeah.
But, you know, that's that's what's her sayingthat.
She says it all the time.
Alright?
Rather than me ring back afterwards and say,what?
I can't make it.
My trying wasn't good enough.
(08:22):
I failed.
Can't get there.
Then they go, oh, okay, no worries.
Thanks for letting me know.
That's it, clean.
So whether you take on that to try really is alie, or whether you take on that to try is a
lie simply to help discipline yourself to giveup trying, take your pick but either way it's a
(08:48):
great outcome.
I invite you to commit to things.
I invite you to fail spectacularly.
I invite you if someone says, oh, do you knowhow to play?
I don't know, play the drums and you say, well,I don't know if I know how rather than I'll
try.
(09:08):
Just be straight up front.
There's lots of different ways you can use itand it's a lot of fun, I promise you.
So get rid of that, get back to having fun,just being straight, getting back to people,
creating great relationships.
Because in the end of the day, when we havegreat relationships, when we're not trying,
(09:31):
we're being kind.
And that's the ultimate for me.
And that's why I want to disappear words out ofour language because at the end of the day, an
empowered person is a kind person.
So thank you for listening today.
I really appreciate you being here.
(09:52):
I hope you'll come back and I hope you'll sharethis.
Until then, bye for now.
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