Shame and guilt are heavy emotions that many neurodivergent people know all too well. In AuDHD (adults with co-occurring autism and ADHD), these feelings often run deep. Unlike simple embarrassment, shame goes to the core of “who I am,” while guilt is about “what I did”. For example, an AuDHD person might feel guilty for forgetting a friend’s birthday, but feel shame about being the kind of person who forgets. As one ADHD expert explains, “Shame is about who we are. Guilt is about what we do”. In practice, someone might find themselves ruminating, “I did that wrong,” (guilt) or “I’m fundamentally flawed” (shame)
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