Why Am I Always at Odds With Myself? ADHD and the Tug-of-War Within

In this deep-dive episode, Carmen explores the constant inner conflict many adults with ADHD experience—what psychology calls cognitive dissonance. It's that mental tug-of-war between what we intend to do and what we actually do, often amplified in ADHD brains due to emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, masking, and rejection sensitivity.

Using real-life examples, neuroscience, and humor (because healing doesn’t have to be boring), Carmen unpacks why ADHD brains are particularly vulnerable to these internal battles—and why it’s not laziness but wiring.

🧠 Listeners learn how ADHD impacts conflict detection in the brain, how people-pleasing and overcommitment fuel identity confusion, and why masking can lead to a fractured sense of self.

🧰 From Chaos to Clarity: 5 Science-Backed Strategies

To turn the inner war into teamwork, Carmen shares five practical tools:

* Journaling – Externalize the chaos and gain insight into internal conflicts.

* Visualization – Mentally rehearse success and reduce anxiety about feared outcomes.

* Mindfulness – Train your attention and regulate emotional storms in real time.

* Values Clarification – Anchor decisions to your personal compass, not “shoulds.”

* Flexible Planning – Plan with grace, not rigidity, to accommodate ADHD’s unpredictability.

💡 Takeaway Message:

You’re not “too much” or “not enough”—you’re wired differently, and that wiring explains the dissonance. But with the right tools and some self-compassion (backed by neuroscience!), you can stop feeling at war with yourself and start collaborating with your brain.

Get full access to carmen_authenticallyadhd at carmenauthenticallyadhd.substack.com/subscribe