August 12, 2025 • 41 mins
🟪 Join 500+ Smart Entrepreneurs ➤ https://www.gabemarusca.com and learn each week for free, how to stop chasing leads, serve clients longer & enjoy freedom doing what you love, without burning out or breaking down.
In this episode, I chat with Dori Juhasz, a public speaking and visibility strategist who transforms business owners into confident speakers.
Dori explains how she went from organizing events to conquering her own speaking fears. With experience helping hundreds overcome stage fright, she shares why authenticity beats performance and how your body holds the key to confidence.
We discuss the somatic approach to fear, practical storytelling frameworks, and why pushing through terror actually makes things worse.
We also explore how speaking collapses the trust timeline from 28 touch-points to just one powerful conversation.
Join us as we break down the exact techniques to turn speaking anxiety into profitable opportunities for your business.
🟪 Timestamps
(00:00) Introducing Dori Juhasz
(01:00) Dori's Life-Changing Decision
(06:54) Transition to Public Speaking
(09:41) Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking
(16:36) Authenticity in Public Speaking
(21:13) Understanding the Somatic Approach
(28:41) Building Confidence Through Practice
(31:00) Making Public Speaking Profitable
🟪 Connect with Dori Juhasz
- Talk Checklist: https://subscribepage.io/talkchecklist
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dorijuhaszspeaking/
- Website: https://dorijuhasz.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dori-juhasz/
🟪 Connect with Gabe Marusca
- Website: https://www.gabemarusca.com
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@gabemarusca
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gabemarusca/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gabemarusca/
- X/Twitter: https://twitter.com/gabemarusca
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maruscagabe/
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@gabemarusca
Until Next Week,
Pura Vida!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
We all have this part of us thatis our authentic self, but we
are just hiding that part because we think that part is
not good enough. Dorias is a public speaking and
visibility strategist, helping business owners become known and
get clients by making public speaking both profitable and
enjoyable. And in today's episode, we dive
into how to overcome the fear ofpublic speaking, practical
(00:23):
frameworks used for storytelling, mistakes to avoid
in order to build that confidence, and a somatic
approach to overcoming your limiting beliefs and fears.
And the only difference is what is your expectation?
If you expect something to go wrong, then that's going to be
fear and nerves. If you expect something to go
(00:43):
well and to enjoy it, then it's going to be excitement.
She shows people how to turn their expertise and personal
story into powerful talks and content that is authentically
done. I don't teach people to perform,
I teach them how to be on the stage as themselves.
Dorie, take me back to the moment that you realize that I
(01:03):
want to do something else and that led to the person that you
are today. OK, the moment when I realized I
want to do something else. I think the moment what I would
say right now when there is a before like almost is clear.
Before and after was eight yearsago, I was living in Hungary and
I had this desire that I want togo to Cuba.
I love dancing, I love Cuban salsa.
(01:24):
And I always had this dream thatone day I will go to Cuba.
And sometimes you just think like, why am I keep postponing?
Why is it always in the future? And in 2017, I decided that I'm
just, I'm just ago. What am I waiting for?
And yeah, I basically, I quit myjob, I gave back my apartment
and I left hungry basically in September.
(01:46):
And once you got to Cuba, what happened there?
Like it was exactly what you expected, Like start enjoying
dancing, immersing near the culture.
What was that experience? The funny thing is I made the
decision that I'm going to go toCuba and the moment that
decision was made, life just show different opportunities and
other things in front of me. And I left Hungary in September.
(02:09):
I only made it to Cuba in February.
And the reason for that is because this opportunity just
came and I found myself in September in the middle of the
Atlantic Ocean on the on the conference and the Nomads
cruise. And I just fell in love with the
whole concept of traveling and working at the same time.
And basically I travelled for a few months together with the
(02:32):
people that I I met during this conference.
So I only made it to Cuba in February.
And that's facility like how life opens all these doors and
opportunities and we end up in situation that we haven't
planned for. And funny enough, you end up
being organizer then for the conference and from just the
participants to organizing the Nomad Cruise, which is a huge
(02:53):
conference in the normal space. How'd that unfold?
It's again connected to salsa because I did a salsa workshop
on the first cruise and I I'm very this actuated person.
I love being social and, and I was just really enjoy this
community feeling and the whole conference and I was everywhere.
(03:14):
And basically they asked me to to go back for the next one as a
volunteer. And I did, yeah, I was super
happy. So I joined the next cruise as a
volunteer and already a team member and then the one after
that I joined as a full Time Team member.
And then later on I was just organizing the whole conference
and all the events and it was really, really amazing.
(03:36):
I enjoyed that the whole event, organizing, doing everything at
the whole community vibe. It's it's a really great
project. And was something specific that
open those doors because often Ifound that people are in front
of the opportunity, but they don't spot it.
They say no. Maybe.
Ah, me as a volunteer. What sparked to make the
(03:57):
decision or something that you see that others are unable to
see? For me, it was not even a
question if I want to join or not, whether if it's a volunteer
position in the beginning or as a as a paid team member.
That was, I just loved the wholeconference.
I love events and I never knew it before that, but seems like
(04:17):
that I'm this connector and the community builder.
And for me, that was no questionthat I'm going to say yes.
So I think it's that part that you really connect with
something in the moment that you're put in front of it and Oh
my God, I'm actually loving this.
I'm born for this, right? I feel like it's that type of
scenarios and to anyone listening, like you just have to
(04:38):
pay attention the things that you enjoy, right?
Like that you truly connect withyou resonate with you, you like
it For the beginning, you pose an obvious yes when they ask you
to join. And after that, when you start
actually organizing the events you use, organizing such a huge
events with so many moving pieces, it comes with with
serious challenges, I assume. What were those and how do you
manage to overcome them? Yeah.
(04:58):
So definitely the event comes with a lot of different
challenges. And I think it's also a
personality type. I'm the person who loves being
in this fast environment that anevent brings and the project
that has a clear and then everything needs to be ready
because the people are arriving and they are starting.
And I think for me, there was even when there was like
(05:19):
different challenges, sometimes I don't know, a speaker is not
there in the room on time. It happened that one hour before
of the workshop, the, the venue is telling us that one of the
venues is not available. So we just need to find a new
venue for, I don't know, 50-60 people because this was parallel
session at that time, for example.
(05:40):
And then you just find a solution.
There's no time to really go back to the drawing board and
figure out what is the best. You just need to find a
solution. And I think this is one of my
strength, that I'm a really fastthinker and when it comes to the
situation that it needs to be solved, I'm just there to solve
it. And I really enjoy it actually.
(06:02):
So you will say that those that are maybe considering this type
of career as community builders,event organizers, they must have
a fast thinking approach, good problem solvers and to enjoy
being in the middle of the action, not the more calm I will
say or more introverted or shy type of personality.
(06:23):
I think anyone can learn these skills because this is yes comes
with the fact that I'm an extrovert or more I would say
because that I do think that we all have will be.
We sometimes feel that we just want to be alone.
Sometimes we are very social. I do think that it doesn't
really matter what type are you because if this is something
(06:44):
that you would enjoy, you will learn.
You will just get into it and you can learn.
I do think that everything in life is a skill, so the more you
practice it, the more better youget at it.
Yeah, absolutely. And Speaking of learning like
you, you pivot from organizing Novad Cruise to being a speaking
confidence coach. Why you choose that path?
It's again very much connected to the conference.
(07:06):
I guess on the the conference that I mentioned where I was
first as a volunteer happened isduring the conference, one of
the team members just came to meand said, OK, we have a problem.
And I'm like, what is the problem?
And the problem was that we usually participated in this
talent show that the the cruise ship organized because Nomads
(07:26):
Crusoe. That means if for someone who
doesn't know the whole conference is happening on a
cruise ship and they they have their own schedule and we have
for the conference schedule a separate one.
And we couldn't participate because it was at the same time
that we had some other importantevent.
But that was one of the highlights and everyone loved
that. And I just said, OK, I can
(07:48):
organize it, no worries. And I had two days to put
together the whole show to really get everyone who wanted
to participate put together who is doing which act in what
order. What I didn't think at that
time, because again, I'm just inthe moment, let's solve this
problem that I will need to hostthis.
(08:08):
So the day before I realized that I need to host it, I asked
a friend of mine to host it withme because until that point, I
never done public speaking. And this specific talent show
would have mean that I'm in the theater in the big normal
theater of the cruise ship in front of all of our attendees.
At that time I think we had 300 people and I will need to do
(08:30):
public speaking and do the hosting.
And I was terrified. I seriously, I think at that
moment again I just went with the whole event.
OK, one thing's happening after another but the day before I
just Oh my God, I need to go there.
So I asked my friend then he wasnice enough to say yes and he
was a experienced host. So I knew that if I fail or if I
(08:54):
have any blackout whatever, thenhe will be there to save me,
which meant a lot for me. But basically this moment
started something because I really realized after that it
was not that bad and I actually enjoyed parts of it.
So what happened is I got reallygood feedback.
People didn't really realize that that was my very first time
(09:15):
doing public speaking in front of people.
And in the next event, I was already hosting more and more
things. I was the daily host for the
conference. I kept the talent show hosting.
So then it just started to became a thing that I'm just
doing more and more public speaking and basically this,
this is how this what led me into this whole Rd. of really
(09:37):
enjoying it and later on doing my first keynote as well.
And I would like to go back to that feeling like being
terrified because I'm pretty sure almost not all, but
probably 90% of those listening can resonate with that.
I still sometimes get terrified even while recording a podcast,
but like speaking in front of people, that's totally different
based. And have you done something
(09:58):
specific to overcome that fear or you just passed away by the
next day when you're actually showing off in front of them or
any actionable thing that you can share on that?
Well, the thing that I did there, this is not a thing that
I would recommend to people right now, especially as the
public switching coach. What I did at that time, as I
said everything happened really fast and in many ways this is a
(10:21):
good thing because I tend to be an overthinker when something is
not happening right now. That's why I think I, I'm really
good with the event because everything is fast and
everything is happening now. So I don't have the time to
overthink. And here it was the same.
I didn't have the time to overthink anything.
It was literally the day. It was 2 days before the whole
(10:42):
thing happened. So I just jumped into it.
What I did very specifically, I remember that this is one thing
that I did right before I had some buka shots in the, and this
is the worst because alcohol is definitely not good for your
vocals. But at that time I was like, I'm
not even a drinker, but I need some kind of strength.
(11:05):
So I did that. Definitely not something that I
would recommend to anyone doing.But for me that at that moment,
I was not alone. As I said, I was not hosting
alone. So it was the two of us.
I'm like, yeah, why not? Let's try.
That's what I did there. Of course there are way better
strategies that I know now and what I learned later on.
(11:25):
Yeah, but it's still funny like because back then we talked
experience and knowing that you have to do it, you find
solutions, right? Speaking of finding solutions
and let's open that playbook like you already know the right
ways of doing things, right? Ways of avoiding that.
Even that can lead to panic attack or butchering your own
language. Like I'm Romanian and I had a
(11:46):
similar experience. Like I was invited to an event
like out of the blue and I had the partner as well to speak
together with on on stage. And for the 1st 5 minutes I
literally destroy my native language.
So I was not able to speak, not even if I would have to do it in
English. I was probably out of the
conversation anyway. But how do you do it?
Like how to actually overcome that terrifying feeling that Oh
(12:09):
my God, I'm going to step up there and start speaking in
front of all these individuals that come to see me and and so
on. And all those fears, that's
gonna be that. There are different techniques
and the first very important thing that I would say, and this
also comes because I'm also a somatic practitioner.
So I'm very much taking into consideration that how your body
feels, also your nervous system to feel relaxed.
(12:32):
SO11 very important thing is youshould not push through the fear
because I'm a firm believer thatif you have that fear and you're
really like at this terrified stage, ignoring pushing through
and having this fake it till youmake it attitude is not the
right attitude in my opinion. And it's the best analogy that I
(12:54):
can bring here is when you are sitting in the car and you are
driving. And it happened to me many times
with my mom, who is next to me. And I'm a confident driver, but
she's not. So she's going to be afraid in
certain situations when I'm not.So if she's there next to me and
she's freaking out and she's getting louder and louder, and
(13:16):
if I ignore her, what's going tohappen?
She's just gonna get more louder.
So this is, I think the same thing that is happening within
us, that you have the fear if you ignore it, it's just going
to get louder. And that's when you ending up
maybe like blacking out or this is probably one of the worst
fears that I hear from people that what if I just go on stage
(13:39):
and I completely forget what I want to say.
So first is you need to acknowledge that I'm afraid.
And after you're acknowledging, you just need to accept that
this is a fact I'm afraid and that is really OK.
And after really that you acknowledge that and accept
accepted it. One thing is really use positive
self talk because in this scenario, what your mind is
(14:02):
doing is you are thinking of allthe things why this is not going
to work and why you might fail and all of these negative
scenarios. So right now what you want to do
is really bring the positive in self talk and not this harsh
inner critic and really just tell yourself, OK, I'm afraid
(14:22):
that's fine. I can be nervous, can still go
on this stage and I can still deliver this powerful message
that I'm here to tell this audience to share with them
because there might be just one person in this room that I can
help. So it's really acknowledging
that I have this. But still, even with that
feeling, I can be powerful and Ican be impactful.
(14:43):
I think this is kind of like oneof the the bottom lines.
What a lot of people maybe just try to not necessarily pay
attention. Or of course, there are physical
things that you can do. Jumping jacks, move your, your
body, breathe. Another thing is like just
really be present. Look around.
What colors do you see? And then just name a few.
So just bring your back into thepresent moment because your mind
(15:07):
is in the future and in the future in the negative future.
So a few techniques, but I wouldstart with the acknowledgement
for sure. Yeah, that's powerful because in
the moment that you're aware, it's much more easier to address
any situation. I guess often we don't even
realize why, why we are afraid, and probably that fear is not
even truly there. But you mentioned something very
(15:29):
interesting, because a lot of people advise the contrary to
face your fear and so on. And on that note, what bad
advice do you see there in the wild when it comes to building
confidence and avoiding the fearof public speaking?
I think one of the bad advices is definitely this because it is
true that you should do things even when you don't feel ready.
I agree with that because we never really truly feel ready.
(15:52):
But telling someone who is terrified, just get over it and
just don't be afraid. It's almost like telling someone
who is really really stressed just calm down.
Worst thing like worst thing that you can do in that moment
because that person is already in the spiral.
It's also comes from coaching like acknowledgement.
It's always the first thing like, OK, I'm feeling this
(16:13):
because the more you lie to yourself, more it backfires
because no, no, no, that's not the truth.
I cannot tell myself that I'm not afraid because I am.
That's one of the definitely oneof the bad things that
personally I see out there that is, in my opinion, not not good.
Another, and this is, again, it's not necessarily bad advice.
I have a different approach. And that advice is that speaking
(16:36):
is an act and it's a performance.
And I don't believe in that. And I know that some people do,
and some people look at it as almost as a theatrical act and
they put on the speaker hat. And I don't believe in that.
I believe in authenticity. And quite recently I watched the
Ted talk of someone that I know,and I do think that she's a
(16:57):
brilliant speaker, but she also comes from an acting background.
And you can see that in the way how she's speaking.
And for me, I cannot really say what is the thing that is
disconnected for me, but it creates a disconnect because the
moment that person who is performing now sharing a story
that is a personal story, that is a vulnerable story.
(17:20):
And I see that person start almost like crying.
Maybe you see the tears coming down, maybe you hear that the
voice is breaking up or maybe completely disappears.
The only thing that goes into mymind, and this is the first
question, is this part of the ACT or is it real?
And for me, this, that's why I would never teach.
(17:40):
And actually, this is quite against what I'm teaching.
I don't teach people to perform.I teach them how to be their
authentic self, how to be on thestage as themselves.
So if a friend of them is sitting in the audience, they
know that yes, that's the exact same person who is with me when
I just have a coffee with them. And how tentative can we be in a
(18:01):
world where everything choose our own role model, have a
mentor, have that and that. And we obviously learn from a
lot of people from initially maybe copying our parents, then
our teachers and maybe our business mentors or bosses and
so on. And we end up getting all these
maybe ways of acting or ways of speaking from others how we can
(18:22):
still, with all this baggage, tostill be authentic, still be
ourselves, still lean into what makes us.
We all have this part of us thatis our authentic self, but we
are just hiding that part because we think that that part
is not good enough. So for me, it's not necessarily
when I said when I'm teaching authentic rather than
(18:43):
performance, it's really helpingthat person uncover and really
uncondition themselves. What are the some of the learned
things that they started doing because they thought that if I
do this, then I will fit in. If I act like this, then people
will like me. So what is that part of you that
you would do that makes you you?And for me, it's always I come
(19:06):
back to dancing. I, many times I start my, my
keynotes, even with making people stand up and dance a
little bit because that's me. I would not tell this to someone
who is not a dancer or who's notfeeling that, oh, this comes
from me. So it's more like giving them
all the strategies and all the different tools that you can use
(19:28):
and you are testing in and trying out that this feels good.
This feels like not me at all. I for example, my mentor, she
had a client and she wanted to write a poem and she started
with the poem and and close withthe poem.
For me, that would be not be me at all, but for her that was
completely her style. So it's more like finding what
(19:48):
is your way and then just be that even on the stage.
And there are any specific questions or ways we can apply
in order to find that, to uncover those maybe very deeply
ingrained things that we often ignore that makes us, us.
I think sometimes because we don't necessarily all the time
(20:10):
know what is, that is really useful also just to watch others
and to see what resonates with you.
What are the things that if I show you a Ted Talk right now,
you will probably pick out different things that I would
pick what resonated with you. So the thing that resonated with
you, that is something that is familiar and that is close to
(20:31):
you. So I would advise you to OK, if
that's what you really like. Like how could you make it your
own? What is that way that you could
do something that is similar andit feels good.
And if if you watch someone likeif I would say something
different in that because probably I would pick different
things, then I would test those different things on me.
(20:51):
So it's, it's never really, I don't think that there is one
point when you figured out that this is 100% me.
This is my authentic version of me.
And now that's what I'm keep gonna do on stage.
It's more like testing differentthings that feels good and then
sooner or later you're going to start putting together the whole
picture. But it all comes back to doing.
(21:13):
So you mentioned support semantic approach to their
coaching. Can you define that and share
what implies? The somatic part, it helps with
two things. If someone has the fear, then
what we can do is we can go backinto an older memory and really
(21:33):
figuring out what is this fear really coming from?
Because usually it's a fear thatcomes from something that we
experienced in our younger age or something that we've seen
someone experienced. So if you were in school, for
example, then you saw someone, the teacher just ask the person
like, OK, what is the answer? And the person didn't know the
(21:55):
answer. And then the whole class just
made fun of that one person thateven if it was not you, but
you've seen something like this,maybe now you store that
information as OK speaking up oranswering or out loud in front
of a public. This can be this can mean
embarrassment. So I'm not going to do it.
So with the somatic, we can justgo back and see what is this for
(22:18):
you? If someone doesn't have a fear,
then what? It also really helps because we
are in the somatic, we are working with your body, we are
working with your emotions. So what is this emotion that is
coming up for you when you thinkof speaking?
And for someone, as we mentioned, it can be the fear,
the embarrassment. And for other people, they might
need to go and do somatic work because they are not as
(22:41):
connected to their story, to theemotion that that that story
brings. So with somatic, since we're
working with that, with your emotion, it can help you go back
and relive that very specific important moment that you want
to share with the people and actually feel it.
Because people feel when you aresharing just a story just for
(23:02):
this without really feeling it. And when you when you have the
emotion behind it, there is a huge difference.
So this is the two ways how I'm using the somatic in the in the
coaching. Thinking of coaching, let's say
I'm sharing something that I really want the audience to
really resonate with that to really be able to deport
themselves to that, that moment that I was experienced, that
(23:23):
emotion or that feeling. And they are immediately.
Oh, or the, the simple example with the fear of public speaking
or the anxiety that comes with it or, or something that a lot
of them like, Oh my God, yeah, Ifelt the same way when I I was
about to step on stage and something like that, something
that you tell the story, you feel it, but for them to be able
to actually see the genuine emotion behind it, not the
(23:45):
performance. Well, first of all, if you are
feeling it truly, the audience, in my opinion, can truly tell
the difference if the person who's sharing that story is
feeling it or not in that specific moment.
And this is also for this. Now we're talking a little bit
of the mix of storytelling because you can tell the story
(24:06):
and still feel a little bit because you know your own story,
but tell it in a way that is notgoing to be as impactful.
And you can share the exact samestory, feeling it even better
because you now you're using thestorytelling techniques.
And this is here is not a performance.
This is techniques that when youwant to do public speaking,
(24:27):
obviously storytelling is a hugepart of it.
And these are the things that you, every speaker in my
opinion, needs to learn how to tell good stories.
But it's not going to make it a performance.
It's just making it more intentional because it's not the
same of reporting a story and telling a story in the
storytelling framework. Yeah.
And are you specifically using any single frameworks, any
(24:50):
storytelling frameworks in your coaching or in your approach?
Storytelling is super important and I can give you if if you're
asking if I can share some of these things.
So if we're if we are, let's let's go back a tiny bit.
It's very important when it comes to storytelling is and
(25:12):
with everything and speaking like what's your aim?
We always start with this, what is the aim?
Because every speaking opportunity and every talk,
every workshop has a clear aim. And usually it's what is that
transformation? What is that belief shifts that
you want your audience to experience.
(25:32):
So you have a clear aim and now you ask yourself, what are the
specific moments from my life that would help me bring this
insight come across for the for the audience?
What would make it clear? Because we don't learn from
information. You can share as much data, as
(25:54):
much research as you want. And they are important
sometimes, but nothing as important as a story.
Because at the end of the day, we are all just, you know,
humans and we always learned from storytelling.
We were sitting in next to the fire listening to stories.
And this is how we basically survived for so many years
because we knew that this noise is meaning that there is
(26:17):
probably a lion behind that Bushbecause I heard that many times
from someone who is in our tribe.
So that's why stories are important.
And it needs to be the specific moment that is helping you to
make your point come across. And when you have that specific
moment, this is now here, not a chronological reporting.
I think this is the best way. You're not reporting what
(26:39):
happened, you're reliving it. And by reliving it now, the
feeling is going to come way easier.
And some things that helps you and your audience to go back
there is when you go back, you go back to a specific moment and
you tell it in present tense. This really helps to really feel
that you are there in the room. So when I, for example, share
(27:01):
that how I started public speaking, I said I was in the
conference and then someone cameup to me and I don't know if you
paid attention, but I told it part of that story in present
tense. And the other thing that I did
is I included dialogue a very tiny bit.
Someone told me someone came to me.
Dory, there is a problem. OK, what is the problem?
So you include a dialogue, whichmakes it even the character is
(27:24):
even more vivid than you are there with them.
You're watching kind of like this movie that is happening now
in front of you. But it's not visual.
It's it's an audio basically. And yes, you add dialogue, you
tell it in present tense and there's always some kind of
challenge that the character overcomes.
So very specific. There is a challenge and there
is a shift that happens because of that challenge.
(27:47):
This is the very basic and storytelling.
It can be very simple and it's what makes it simple, what makes
it all so powerful. At the same time, she'll learn
some of these tiny things. I totally agree because often
people try to complicate it and they create this unique detail
as you mentioned, maybe dialogueor something specific that
(28:07):
happened. But if you give too much
details, I assume you kind of, it's very hard afterwards to
make the point, which should be the goal of the storytelling
approach. And once someone build this, so
they have these tools, they havethis framework, for example, and
so on. And it's often common in between
entrepreneurs to see public speaking as necessarily evil.
(28:28):
And they're still facing this anxiety of going and putting
themselves out there. I will approach such a person
like they, as I mentioned, they have the frameworks, they have
the, they acknowledge the fact that they have this anxiety
every single time. How do you build that muscle,
that confidence? I think this muscle is like in
every muscle the same, same way as you go to the gym, you build
(28:49):
this muscle by practicing and doing it over and over again.
I know that maybe people want tohear a magic formula here, but
there is not really a magic formula apart from really doing
it and learning how to do it right.
And basically, when you start doing it and if you really start
being present there with your audience, because the problem
(29:12):
again comes that when you are focusing on yourself, that I
don't enjoy doing this. I have the fear.
I how how do I look right now? My God, I must look horrible.
I haven't slept that you start listening.
And the common theme here is every of these statements and
thoughts starts with me. Like I feel this, I have this
(29:34):
and the whole aim here with public speaking and with if you
are a business owner, I'm hopingthat one of the big games is
that you want to make a difference.
You want to make an impact. So if you turn this around and
now you start putting the focus on the audience and just
thinking that maybe there is oneperson here in this room who
needs to hear this from me and me being here and maybe feeling
(29:58):
uncomfortable, maybe having the fear, but that has nothing to do
with me right now because I'm here for them.
If you have a feedback also fromthe people, sometimes they
sometimes people come to you like, Oh my God, your story
really touched me. Or this is exactly how I feel.
I know how it feels when you start seeing that and getting
those feedback back then you know that it's worth it because
(30:19):
now that person might have changed something in in her
life. They might leave the room and
gonna take an action that they haven't done before because they
were so afraid and they thought I cannot do this.
But now because you shared something and you were
uncomfortable on stage, they nowgonna do it.
I think for me, this is a big driving force and I think people
(30:41):
just need to start looking at itthat it's not for me.
It's and it's not about me, it'sabout the other person.
That's a huge mindset shift, right?
And often all this transformation from a person,
maybe it's probably speaking anxiety to one that it's
practicing, practicing and practicing and practicing while
enjoying it often comes to this mindset shift, right?
And Speaking of enjoyable, you promise people, you help them
(31:04):
make public speaking profitable and enjoyable.
And I like to talk a bit about the profitability part of it.
Once you overcome all these challenges and do enough
practice in order to feel comfortable to enjoy it and
some, sometimes you'll find yourcalling you.
You might turn from the entrepreneur founder that you
are into the professional publicspeaker.
Is the only way to profit from this?
(31:24):
Or is the personal brand associated with someone that is
stepping on stage or on podcast or in other places where they
can experience their the power of public speaking?
What are the profitable ways youadvise people to go about?
I'm mainly working with businessowners, coaches, founders who
are not necessarily want to become speakers.
They want to use speaking as oneof the most powerful marketing
(31:48):
and sales tool in their businessto get clients to make a bigger
impact. So the ways, if we're talking
about profitability, and this ishow I actually got into this
because I had first a coaching business after I left the event
organizing, I started my coaching business, which was
helping people. Really it's self sabotaged.
(32:08):
And that's where the somatic work came in and the first time.
So I was helping people taking action Start Stop really
procrastinating and start livingthe life that they truly wanted.
And I was very, let's say, delusional in the very
beginning, as probably many entrepreneurs are that oh, this
is it and I'm going to be this super successful entrepreneur.
(32:31):
And then reality hits in and yourealize, oh, this is way harder
than I thought. And I remember it was a few
months after I left the the project and we were in Mexico
with my boyfriend. And I just came off from from a
sales school. And it was after many, many
sales schools. And I'm sitting on this couch
(32:52):
and my boyfriend walks in and hecan see that something is not
OK. So he just asked the question
like Dory, what's wrong? And I just burst into tears.
And basically I started crying. And for me, what happened is
that I never thought this is going to be this hard.
And I told him that I don't think that I cut out for this.
Like maybe this whole entrepreneurship is just not for
(33:14):
me. And he, he asked me like, how
would you make it enjoyable and what would it make for you
enjoyable that also would help you get clients.
And I just said, I want to speak, I would want to run a
workshop. I would love.
I missed that. I really missed that feeling.
And that's what I basically did.I did a workshop a few weeks
after that after this conversation and I signed 2
(33:36):
clients and I'm like, wow. And then I went to a conference
and I spoke at a conference and I signed another one.
And then I was invited to a retreat and I did a session
there. That was somatic session.
And then two more clients came. And for me that was the proof
that oh wow. If I put my efforts into
actually doing the thing that ofcourse I had the advantage of
(33:59):
learning for many years of what are the, the ways how to do it.
And now at this point I was not afraid of public speaking.
Now it can really benefit my business.
And the shift came a year later when I decided this is going to
be the business where what I want to help people really do
because public speaking can be really powerful.
And for me, it feels so much better to do public speaking
(34:21):
than constantly create content because this actually feels my
content as well because I do oneengagement and I cut it out to
smaller pieces. So now I have content as well
and I build trust way faster because the timeline just
collapses. So the one of the best is really
to do as many speaking workshops.
Do it the right way, do it strategically.
(34:43):
And as a business owner, you will see that clients will find
you. And now maybe you're not the one
who will need to chase them, because they are the ones who
come to you after a workshop andwow, tell me more.
I am 100% with you because what there is no better way to build
that trust. Imagine like speak of content,
we write content, you send emails, you do that and that.
(35:04):
But those that are actually wanting to engage buy from you,
they don't see your face. And even if you put a selfie out
there and so on, that helps a bit.
But who you buy from, someone that you actually hear speaking,
sharing their insight, their expertise and so on.
Or someone that is just writing a piece of content, which of
course can still show authority and so on.
But we are in 2025, AI writes a lot of the content that you see
(35:27):
online. That's the reality.
But the face of a human being that is speaking and share their
insights, that's still a bit rare popular problem platforms
like YouTube and so on. But it's still, and it's still
quite hard, at least at this point, to mimic and to just let
AI do it for you. And even when that time will
come, you might, might be obvious that it's not a human
(35:48):
being and you still trust more. Those that you see on a stage
shake their hand and just vibe much more easier with them than
with someone that you just saw online and such.
So it's really powerful. It's really powerful.
And some people still I guess, abit more convincing because they
have to overcome those barriers that you mentioned today.
And for those that they acknowledge that this is the
(36:09):
step four, they want to overcomeit.
They want to leverage public speaking and so on and need
guidance where they can't connect with Tudori.
Before we go there, I've really just wanted to touch point
because you brought in somethingvery, very important, which is
AI right now. And I do see that people right
now don't don't want this perfectly written content.
(36:29):
They are just so tired of that. They are really skeptical and I
don't know if you checked any ofthe statistics recently, but
they that marketer said, I used to take seven touch points
before a person buy from you andnow the number is 28.
And I just checked because I've recently done the Nomad word
conference that we talked about in the very beginnings.
And I wanted to be like on top of what is the new statistics.
(36:53):
So it's 28. And this really just shows me
that now it takes four times longer for a customer to go
through this. I don't even know who is this
person and now I trust that person and what happens with
speaking, especially if you're doing it on a live stage, but it
can be a Zoom and it also can behere right now in the podcast
that you are doing. I think this is one of another
(37:15):
great ways to use your voice because now what happens is
speaking collapses this timeline.
People hear you, they hear your voice.
If they see your face, that's anadded bonus as well.
And they feel who you are, whichthey will probably not feel from
just the content. They really need to consume so
much of that to actually get to that stage and to get to the
(37:37):
trust. So now we are also talking that
that's why speaking can be so powerful and gets you clients
way faster. This whole trust thing because
of the storytelling, because of all these different aspects that
we talked about, helps you so much with that.
And you mentioned again, for thepeople who are still having this
fear and you need to overcome what I would say, and this is it
(38:00):
happened to me last year, we went to London to Thor Park.
I don't know if any of the listeners been to Thor Park is
in the music park and we went tothis roller coaster And you know
the feeling when you're sitting on the roller coaster and it
starts going up and you, I was sitting there and I questioned
all my choices. I'm like, Oh my God, maybe this
was a mistake. What if we just gonna derail?
(38:22):
What if this hardness is not gonna hold me and I'm going to
fall out? All of these questions are going
through my head. And then you there's the
decision is already made. You're going up.
There's nothing to do and you start going down and I started
screaming from fear, but then from enjoyment.
And I think this is when people say that the fear and the
(38:43):
nervousness, what you feel when it comes to whatever in life, it
can be the public speaking what we're talking about and
enjoyment are exactly the same emotions.
And the only difference is what is your expectation?
If you expect something to go wrong, then that's going to be
fear and nerves. If you expect something to go
(39:03):
well and to enjoy it, then it's going to be excitement.
And I was going through this fear enjoyment in like seconds
of changing because once I really enjoyed it.
But then another thought came and I think this is one of the
most powerful refrain for these listeners that it's exactly the
same thing. You just need to expect
something that is good on the other end.
(39:26):
And when you expect the best, the best happens, right?
Probably not all the time, but most of the cases that's that's
the reality. Because often, yeah, we we put
ourselves down And in that situation, you're like, Oh my
God, this bad thing might happenif I do that or you lose my
reputation or that and that. But in reality, people payless
attention that you want towards our own way of speaking maybe,
(39:48):
or way of behaving and so on. And we are just overthinking it.
Story Please tell those listening where they can find
you, where they can work with you.
They can find me on Instagram. It's my name Dory you has
speaking my LinkedIn. It's just my name Dory you has
JUHASEI also have my website. These are the easiest and I'm
(40:09):
super happy to offer them a checklist of how to nail your
next talk and it goes through with all of these main points
and super, super useful if someone is preparing for a talk
or even just a podcast interview.
You can use it for all of these occasions.
Awesome. Thank you so much.
I'll put it down in the show notes, the link as well.
And I'd like to conclude with a small meeting that you're about
(40:33):
to have with Dory, but it's a bit back in time.
You're just about to have the next day that event that you're
mentioning that kick off your speaking career and you have
just one minute with younger Dory to give some piece of
advice to her what that will be.You will never feel ready.
Just start doing. Just don't overthink.
(40:53):
Just go and take the action. And you don't.
You need to see the clear path. It's actually sometimes it's
nicer not to know the clear path, because then you know that
you are on your path and you're not following someone else's.
Dori, you has on authority in the wild.
Thanks so much for telling me. Thank you so much for having me,
it was such a pleasure.
We all have this part of us thatis our authentic self, but we
are just hiding that part because we think that part is
not good enough. Dorias is a public speaking and
visibility strategist, helping business owners become known and
get clients by making public speaking both profitable and
enjoyable. And in today's episode, we dive
into how to overcome the fear ofpublic speaking, practical
(00:23):
frameworks used for storytelling, mistakes to avoid
in order to build that confidence, and a somatic
approach to overcoming your limiting beliefs and fears.
And the only difference is what is your expectation?
If you expect something to go wrong, then that's going to be
fear and nerves. If you expect something to go
(00:43):
well and to enjoy it, then it's going to be excitement.
She shows people how to turn their expertise and personal
story into powerful talks and content that is authentically
done. I don't teach people to perform,
I teach them how to be on the stage as themselves.
Dorie, take me back to the moment that you realize that I
(01:03):
want to do something else and that led to the person that you
are today. OK, the moment when I realized I
want to do something else. I think the moment what I would
say right now when there is a before like almost is clear.
Before and after was eight yearsago, I was living in Hungary and
I had this desire that I want togo to Cuba.
I love dancing, I love Cuban salsa.
(01:24):
And I always had this dream thatone day I will go to Cuba.
And sometimes you just think like, why am I keep postponing?
Why is it always in the future? And in 2017, I decided that I'm
just, I'm just ago. What am I waiting for?
And yeah, I basically, I quit myjob, I gave back my apartment
and I left hungry basically in September.
(01:46):
And once you got to Cuba, what happened there?
Like it was exactly what you expected, Like start enjoying
dancing, immersing near the culture.
What was that experience? The funny thing is I made the
decision that I'm going to go toCuba and the moment that
decision was made, life just show different opportunities and
other things in front of me. And I left Hungary in September.
(02:09):
I only made it to Cuba in February.
And the reason for that is because this opportunity just
came and I found myself in September in the middle of the
Atlantic Ocean on the on the conference and the Nomads
cruise. And I just fell in love with the
whole concept of traveling and working at the same time.
And basically I travelled for a few months together with the
(02:32):
people that I I met during this conference.
So I only made it to Cuba in February.
And that's facility like how life opens all these doors and
opportunities and we end up in situation that we haven't
planned for. And funny enough, you end up
being organizer then for the conference and from just the
participants to organizing the Nomad Cruise, which is a huge
(02:53):
conference in the normal space. How'd that unfold?
It's again connected to salsa because I did a salsa workshop
on the first cruise and I I'm very this actuated person.
I love being social and, and I was just really enjoy this
community feeling and the whole conference and I was everywhere.
(03:14):
And basically they asked me to to go back for the next one as a
volunteer. And I did, yeah, I was super
happy. So I joined the next cruise as a
volunteer and already a team member and then the one after
that I joined as a full Time Team member.
And then later on I was just organizing the whole conference
and all the events and it was really, really amazing.
(03:36):
I enjoyed that the whole event, organizing, doing everything at
the whole community vibe. It's it's a really great
project. And was something specific that
open those doors because often Ifound that people are in front
of the opportunity, but they don't spot it.
They say no. Maybe.
Ah, me as a volunteer. What sparked to make the
(03:57):
decision or something that you see that others are unable to
see? For me, it was not even a
question if I want to join or not, whether if it's a volunteer
position in the beginning or as a as a paid team member.
That was, I just loved the wholeconference.
I love events and I never knew it before that, but seems like
(04:17):
that I'm this connector and the community builder.
And for me, that was no questionthat I'm going to say yes.
So I think it's that part that you really connect with
something in the moment that you're put in front of it and Oh
my God, I'm actually loving this.
I'm born for this, right? I feel like it's that type of
scenarios and to anyone listening, like you just have to
(04:38):
pay attention the things that you enjoy, right?
Like that you truly connect withyou resonate with you, you like
it For the beginning, you pose an obvious yes when they ask you
to join. And after that, when you start
actually organizing the events you use, organizing such a huge
events with so many moving pieces, it comes with with
serious challenges, I assume. What were those and how do you
manage to overcome them? Yeah.
(04:58):
So definitely the event comes with a lot of different
challenges. And I think it's also a
personality type. I'm the person who loves being
in this fast environment that anevent brings and the project
that has a clear and then everything needs to be ready
because the people are arriving and they are starting.
And I think for me, there was even when there was like
(05:19):
different challenges, sometimes I don't know, a speaker is not
there in the room on time. It happened that one hour before
of the workshop, the, the venue is telling us that one of the
venues is not available. So we just need to find a new
venue for, I don't know, 50-60 people because this was parallel
session at that time, for example.
(05:40):
And then you just find a solution.
There's no time to really go back to the drawing board and
figure out what is the best. You just need to find a
solution. And I think this is one of my
strength, that I'm a really fastthinker and when it comes to the
situation that it needs to be solved, I'm just there to solve
it. And I really enjoy it actually.
(06:02):
So you will say that those that are maybe considering this type
of career as community builders,event organizers, they must have
a fast thinking approach, good problem solvers and to enjoy
being in the middle of the action, not the more calm I will
say or more introverted or shy type of personality.
(06:23):
I think anyone can learn these skills because this is yes comes
with the fact that I'm an extrovert or more I would say
because that I do think that we all have will be.
We sometimes feel that we just want to be alone.
Sometimes we are very social. I do think that it doesn't
really matter what type are you because if this is something
(06:44):
that you would enjoy, you will learn.
You will just get into it and you can learn.
I do think that everything in life is a skill, so the more you
practice it, the more better youget at it.
Yeah, absolutely. And Speaking of learning like
you, you pivot from organizing Novad Cruise to being a speaking
confidence coach. Why you choose that path?
It's again very much connected to the conference.
(07:06):
I guess on the the conference that I mentioned where I was
first as a volunteer happened isduring the conference, one of
the team members just came to meand said, OK, we have a problem.
And I'm like, what is the problem?
And the problem was that we usually participated in this
talent show that the the cruise ship organized because Nomads
(07:26):
Crusoe. That means if for someone who
doesn't know the whole conference is happening on a
cruise ship and they they have their own schedule and we have
for the conference schedule a separate one.
And we couldn't participate because it was at the same time
that we had some other importantevent.
But that was one of the highlights and everyone loved
that. And I just said, OK, I can
(07:48):
organize it, no worries. And I had two days to put
together the whole show to really get everyone who wanted
to participate put together who is doing which act in what
order. What I didn't think at that
time, because again, I'm just inthe moment, let's solve this
problem that I will need to hostthis.
(08:08):
So the day before I realized that I need to host it, I asked
a friend of mine to host it withme because until that point, I
never done public speaking. And this specific talent show
would have mean that I'm in the theater in the big normal
theater of the cruise ship in front of all of our attendees.
At that time I think we had 300 people and I will need to do
(08:30):
public speaking and do the hosting.
And I was terrified. I seriously, I think at that
moment again I just went with the whole event.
OK, one thing's happening after another but the day before I
just Oh my God, I need to go there.
So I asked my friend then he wasnice enough to say yes and he
was a experienced host. So I knew that if I fail or if I
(08:54):
have any blackout whatever, thenhe will be there to save me,
which meant a lot for me. But basically this moment
started something because I really realized after that it
was not that bad and I actually enjoyed parts of it.
So what happened is I got reallygood feedback.
People didn't really realize that that was my very first time
(09:15):
doing public speaking in front of people.
And in the next event, I was already hosting more and more
things. I was the daily host for the
conference. I kept the talent show hosting.
So then it just started to became a thing that I'm just
doing more and more public speaking and basically this,
this is how this what led me into this whole Rd. of really
(09:37):
enjoying it and later on doing my first keynote as well.
And I would like to go back to that feeling like being
terrified because I'm pretty sure almost not all, but
probably 90% of those listening can resonate with that.
I still sometimes get terrified even while recording a podcast,
but like speaking in front of people, that's totally different
based. And have you done something
(09:58):
specific to overcome that fear or you just passed away by the
next day when you're actually showing off in front of them or
any actionable thing that you can share on that?
Well, the thing that I did there, this is not a thing that
I would recommend to people right now, especially as the
public switching coach. What I did at that time, as I
said everything happened really fast and in many ways this is a
(10:21):
good thing because I tend to be an overthinker when something is
not happening right now. That's why I think I, I'm really
good with the event because everything is fast and
everything is happening now. So I don't have the time to
overthink. And here it was the same.
I didn't have the time to overthink anything.
It was literally the day. It was 2 days before the whole
(10:42):
thing happened. So I just jumped into it.
What I did very specifically, I remember that this is one thing
that I did right before I had some buka shots in the, and this
is the worst because alcohol is definitely not good for your
vocals. But at that time I was like, I'm
not even a drinker, but I need some kind of strength.
(11:05):
So I did that. Definitely not something that I
would recommend to anyone doing.But for me that at that moment,
I was not alone. As I said, I was not hosting
alone. So it was the two of us.
I'm like, yeah, why not? Let's try.
That's what I did there. Of course there are way better
strategies that I know now and what I learned later on.
(11:25):
Yeah, but it's still funny like because back then we talked
experience and knowing that you have to do it, you find
solutions, right? Speaking of finding solutions
and let's open that playbook like you already know the right
ways of doing things, right? Ways of avoiding that.
Even that can lead to panic attack or butchering your own
language. Like I'm Romanian and I had a
(11:46):
similar experience. Like I was invited to an event
like out of the blue and I had the partner as well to speak
together with on on stage. And for the 1st 5 minutes I
literally destroy my native language.
So I was not able to speak, not even if I would have to do it in
English. I was probably out of the
conversation anyway. But how do you do it?
Like how to actually overcome that terrifying feeling that Oh
(12:09):
my God, I'm going to step up there and start speaking in
front of all these individuals that come to see me and and so
on. And all those fears, that's
gonna be that. There are different techniques
and the first very important thing that I would say, and this
also comes because I'm also a somatic practitioner.
So I'm very much taking into consideration that how your body
feels, also your nervous system to feel relaxed.
(12:32):
SO11 very important thing is youshould not push through the fear
because I'm a firm believer thatif you have that fear and you're
really like at this terrified stage, ignoring pushing through
and having this fake it till youmake it attitude is not the
right attitude in my opinion. And it's the best analogy that I
(12:54):
can bring here is when you are sitting in the car and you are
driving. And it happened to me many times
with my mom, who is next to me. And I'm a confident driver, but
she's not. So she's going to be afraid in
certain situations when I'm not.So if she's there next to me and
she's freaking out and she's getting louder and louder, and
(13:16):
if I ignore her, what's going tohappen?
She's just gonna get more louder.
So this is, I think the same thing that is happening within
us, that you have the fear if you ignore it, it's just going
to get louder. And that's when you ending up
maybe like blacking out or this is probably one of the worst
fears that I hear from people that what if I just go on stage
(13:39):
and I completely forget what I want to say.
So first is you need to acknowledge that I'm afraid.
And after you're acknowledging, you just need to accept that
this is a fact I'm afraid and that is really OK.
And after really that you acknowledge that and accept
accepted it. One thing is really use positive
self talk because in this scenario, what your mind is
(14:02):
doing is you are thinking of allthe things why this is not going
to work and why you might fail and all of these negative
scenarios. So right now what you want to do
is really bring the positive in self talk and not this harsh
inner critic and really just tell yourself, OK, I'm afraid
(14:22):
that's fine. I can be nervous, can still go
on this stage and I can still deliver this powerful message
that I'm here to tell this audience to share with them
because there might be just one person in this room that I can
help. So it's really acknowledging
that I have this. But still, even with that
feeling, I can be powerful and Ican be impactful.
(14:43):
I think this is kind of like oneof the the bottom lines.
What a lot of people maybe just try to not necessarily pay
attention. Or of course, there are physical
things that you can do. Jumping jacks, move your, your
body, breathe. Another thing is like just
really be present. Look around.
What colors do you see? And then just name a few.
So just bring your back into thepresent moment because your mind
(15:07):
is in the future and in the future in the negative future.
So a few techniques, but I wouldstart with the acknowledgement
for sure. Yeah, that's powerful because in
the moment that you're aware, it's much more easier to address
any situation. I guess often we don't even
realize why, why we are afraid, and probably that fear is not
even truly there. But you mentioned something very
(15:29):
interesting, because a lot of people advise the contrary to
face your fear and so on. And on that note, what bad
advice do you see there in the wild when it comes to building
confidence and avoiding the fearof public speaking?
I think one of the bad advices is definitely this because it is
true that you should do things even when you don't feel ready.
I agree with that because we never really truly feel ready.
(15:52):
But telling someone who is terrified, just get over it and
just don't be afraid. It's almost like telling someone
who is really really stressed just calm down.
Worst thing like worst thing that you can do in that moment
because that person is already in the spiral.
It's also comes from coaching like acknowledgement.
It's always the first thing like, OK, I'm feeling this
(16:13):
because the more you lie to yourself, more it backfires
because no, no, no, that's not the truth.
I cannot tell myself that I'm not afraid because I am.
That's one of the definitely oneof the bad things that
personally I see out there that is, in my opinion, not not good.
Another, and this is, again, it's not necessarily bad advice.
I have a different approach. And that advice is that speaking
(16:36):
is an act and it's a performance.
And I don't believe in that. And I know that some people do,
and some people look at it as almost as a theatrical act and
they put on the speaker hat. And I don't believe in that.
I believe in authenticity. And quite recently I watched the
Ted talk of someone that I know,and I do think that she's a
(16:57):
brilliant speaker, but she also comes from an acting background.
And you can see that in the way how she's speaking.
And for me, I cannot really say what is the thing that is
disconnected for me, but it creates a disconnect because the
moment that person who is performing now sharing a story
that is a personal story, that is a vulnerable story.
(17:20):
And I see that person start almost like crying.
Maybe you see the tears coming down, maybe you hear that the
voice is breaking up or maybe completely disappears.
The only thing that goes into mymind, and this is the first
question, is this part of the ACT or is it real?
And for me, this, that's why I would never teach.
(17:40):
And actually, this is quite against what I'm teaching.
I don't teach people to perform.I teach them how to be their
authentic self, how to be on thestage as themselves.
So if a friend of them is sitting in the audience, they
know that yes, that's the exact same person who is with me when
I just have a coffee with them. And how tentative can we be in a
(18:01):
world where everything choose our own role model, have a
mentor, have that and that. And we obviously learn from a
lot of people from initially maybe copying our parents, then
our teachers and maybe our business mentors or bosses and
so on. And we end up getting all these
maybe ways of acting or ways of speaking from others how we can
(18:22):
still, with all this baggage, tostill be authentic, still be
ourselves, still lean into what makes us.
We all have this part of us thatis our authentic self, but we
are just hiding that part because we think that that part
is not good enough. So for me, it's not necessarily
when I said when I'm teaching authentic rather than
(18:43):
performance, it's really helpingthat person uncover and really
uncondition themselves. What are the some of the learned
things that they started doing because they thought that if I
do this, then I will fit in. If I act like this, then people
will like me. So what is that part of you that
you would do that makes you you?And for me, it's always I come
(19:06):
back to dancing. I, many times I start my, my
keynotes, even with making people stand up and dance a
little bit because that's me. I would not tell this to someone
who is not a dancer or who's notfeeling that, oh, this comes
from me. So it's more like giving them
all the strategies and all the different tools that you can use
(19:28):
and you are testing in and trying out that this feels good.
This feels like not me at all. I for example, my mentor, she
had a client and she wanted to write a poem and she started
with the poem and and close withthe poem.
For me, that would be not be me at all, but for her that was
completely her style. So it's more like finding what
(19:48):
is your way and then just be that even on the stage.
And there are any specific questions or ways we can apply
in order to find that, to uncover those maybe very deeply
ingrained things that we often ignore that makes us, us.
I think sometimes because we don't necessarily all the time
(20:10):
know what is, that is really useful also just to watch others
and to see what resonates with you.
What are the things that if I show you a Ted Talk right now,
you will probably pick out different things that I would
pick what resonated with you. So the thing that resonated with
you, that is something that is familiar and that is close to
(20:31):
you. So I would advise you to OK, if
that's what you really like. Like how could you make it your
own? What is that way that you could
do something that is similar andit feels good.
And if if you watch someone likeif I would say something
different in that because probably I would pick different
things, then I would test those different things on me.
(20:51):
So it's, it's never really, I don't think that there is one
point when you figured out that this is 100% me.
This is my authentic version of me.
And now that's what I'm keep gonna do on stage.
It's more like testing differentthings that feels good and then
sooner or later you're going to start putting together the whole
picture. But it all comes back to doing.
(21:13):
So you mentioned support semantic approach to their
coaching. Can you define that and share
what implies? The somatic part, it helps with
two things. If someone has the fear, then
what we can do is we can go backinto an older memory and really
(21:33):
figuring out what is this fear really coming from?
Because usually it's a fear thatcomes from something that we
experienced in our younger age or something that we've seen
someone experienced. So if you were in school, for
example, then you saw someone, the teacher just ask the person
like, OK, what is the answer? And the person didn't know the
(21:55):
answer. And then the whole class just
made fun of that one person thateven if it was not you, but
you've seen something like this,maybe now you store that
information as OK speaking up oranswering or out loud in front
of a public. This can be this can mean
embarrassment. So I'm not going to do it.
So with the somatic, we can justgo back and see what is this for
(22:18):
you? If someone doesn't have a fear,
then what? It also really helps because we
are in the somatic, we are working with your body, we are
working with your emotions. So what is this emotion that is
coming up for you when you thinkof speaking?
And for someone, as we mentioned, it can be the fear,
the embarrassment. And for other people, they might
need to go and do somatic work because they are not as
(22:41):
connected to their story, to theemotion that that that story
brings. So with somatic, since we're
working with that, with your emotion, it can help you go back
and relive that very specific important moment that you want
to share with the people and actually feel it.
Because people feel when you aresharing just a story just for
(23:02):
this without really feeling it. And when you when you have the
emotion behind it, there is a huge difference.
So this is the two ways how I'm using the somatic in the in the
coaching. Thinking of coaching, let's say
I'm sharing something that I really want the audience to
really resonate with that to really be able to deport
themselves to that, that moment that I was experienced, that
(23:23):
emotion or that feeling. And they are immediately.
Oh, or the, the simple example with the fear of public speaking
or the anxiety that comes with it or, or something that a lot
of them like, Oh my God, yeah, Ifelt the same way when I I was
about to step on stage and something like that, something
that you tell the story, you feel it, but for them to be able
to actually see the genuine emotion behind it, not the
(23:45):
performance. Well, first of all, if you are
feeling it truly, the audience, in my opinion, can truly tell
the difference if the person who's sharing that story is
feeling it or not in that specific moment.
And this is also for this. Now we're talking a little bit
of the mix of storytelling because you can tell the story
(24:06):
and still feel a little bit because you know your own story,
but tell it in a way that is notgoing to be as impactful.
And you can share the exact samestory, feeling it even better
because you now you're using thestorytelling techniques.
And this is here is not a performance.
This is techniques that when youwant to do public speaking,
(24:27):
obviously storytelling is a hugepart of it.
And these are the things that you, every speaker in my
opinion, needs to learn how to tell good stories.
But it's not going to make it a performance.
It's just making it more intentional because it's not the
same of reporting a story and telling a story in the
storytelling framework. Yeah.
And are you specifically using any single frameworks, any
(24:50):
storytelling frameworks in your coaching or in your approach?
Storytelling is super important and I can give you if if you're
asking if I can share some of these things.
So if we're if we are, let's let's go back a tiny bit.
It's very important when it comes to storytelling is and
(25:12):
with everything and speaking like what's your aim?
We always start with this, what is the aim?
Because every speaking opportunity and every talk,
every workshop has a clear aim. And usually it's what is that
transformation? What is that belief shifts that
you want your audience to experience.
(25:32):
So you have a clear aim and now you ask yourself, what are the
specific moments from my life that would help me bring this
insight come across for the for the audience?
What would make it clear? Because we don't learn from
information. You can share as much data, as
(25:54):
much research as you want. And they are important
sometimes, but nothing as important as a story.
Because at the end of the day, we are all just, you know,
humans and we always learned from storytelling.
We were sitting in next to the fire listening to stories.
And this is how we basically survived for so many years
because we knew that this noise is meaning that there is
(26:17):
probably a lion behind that Bushbecause I heard that many times
from someone who is in our tribe.
So that's why stories are important.
And it needs to be the specific moment that is helping you to
make your point come across. And when you have that specific
moment, this is now here, not a chronological reporting.
I think this is the best way. You're not reporting what
(26:39):
happened, you're reliving it. And by reliving it now, the
feeling is going to come way easier.
And some things that helps you and your audience to go back
there is when you go back, you go back to a specific moment and
you tell it in present tense. This really helps to really feel
that you are there in the room. So when I, for example, share
(27:01):
that how I started public speaking, I said I was in the
conference and then someone cameup to me and I don't know if you
paid attention, but I told it part of that story in present
tense. And the other thing that I did
is I included dialogue a very tiny bit.
Someone told me someone came to me.
Dory, there is a problem. OK, what is the problem?
So you include a dialogue, whichmakes it even the character is
(27:24):
even more vivid than you are there with them.
You're watching kind of like this movie that is happening now
in front of you. But it's not visual.
It's it's an audio basically. And yes, you add dialogue, you
tell it in present tense and there's always some kind of
challenge that the character overcomes.
So very specific. There is a challenge and there
is a shift that happens because of that challenge.
(27:47):
This is the very basic and storytelling.
It can be very simple and it's what makes it simple, what makes
it all so powerful. At the same time, she'll learn
some of these tiny things. I totally agree because often
people try to complicate it and they create this unique detail
as you mentioned, maybe dialogueor something specific that
(28:07):
happened. But if you give too much
details, I assume you kind of, it's very hard afterwards to
make the point, which should be the goal of the storytelling
approach. And once someone build this, so
they have these tools, they havethis framework, for example, and
so on. And it's often common in between
entrepreneurs to see public speaking as necessarily evil.
(28:28):
And they're still facing this anxiety of going and putting
themselves out there. I will approach such a person
like they, as I mentioned, they have the frameworks, they have
the, they acknowledge the fact that they have this anxiety
every single time. How do you build that muscle,
that confidence? I think this muscle is like in
every muscle the same, same way as you go to the gym, you build
(28:49):
this muscle by practicing and doing it over and over again.
I know that maybe people want tohear a magic formula here, but
there is not really a magic formula apart from really doing
it and learning how to do it right.
And basically, when you start doing it and if you really start
being present there with your audience, because the problem
(29:12):
again comes that when you are focusing on yourself, that I
don't enjoy doing this. I have the fear.
I how how do I look right now? My God, I must look horrible.
I haven't slept that you start listening.
And the common theme here is every of these statements and
thoughts starts with me. Like I feel this, I have this
(29:34):
and the whole aim here with public speaking and with if you
are a business owner, I'm hopingthat one of the big games is
that you want to make a difference.
You want to make an impact. So if you turn this around and
now you start putting the focus on the audience and just
thinking that maybe there is oneperson here in this room who
needs to hear this from me and me being here and maybe feeling
(29:58):
uncomfortable, maybe having the fear, but that has nothing to do
with me right now because I'm here for them.
If you have a feedback also fromthe people, sometimes they
sometimes people come to you like, Oh my God, your story
really touched me. Or this is exactly how I feel.
I know how it feels when you start seeing that and getting
those feedback back then you know that it's worth it because
(30:19):
now that person might have changed something in in her
life. They might leave the room and
gonna take an action that they haven't done before because they
were so afraid and they thought I cannot do this.
But now because you shared something and you were
uncomfortable on stage, they nowgonna do it.
I think for me, this is a big driving force and I think people
(30:41):
just need to start looking at itthat it's not for me.
It's and it's not about me, it'sabout the other person.
That's a huge mindset shift, right?
And often all this transformation from a person,
maybe it's probably speaking anxiety to one that it's
practicing, practicing and practicing and practicing while
enjoying it often comes to this mindset shift, right?
And Speaking of enjoyable, you promise people, you help them
(31:04):
make public speaking profitable and enjoyable.
And I like to talk a bit about the profitability part of it.
Once you overcome all these challenges and do enough
practice in order to feel comfortable to enjoy it and
some, sometimes you'll find yourcalling you.
You might turn from the entrepreneur founder that you
are into the professional publicspeaker.
Is the only way to profit from this?
(31:24):
Or is the personal brand associated with someone that is
stepping on stage or on podcast or in other places where they
can experience their the power of public speaking?
What are the profitable ways youadvise people to go about?
I'm mainly working with businessowners, coaches, founders who
are not necessarily want to become speakers.
They want to use speaking as oneof the most powerful marketing
(31:48):
and sales tool in their businessto get clients to make a bigger
impact. So the ways, if we're talking
about profitability, and this ishow I actually got into this
because I had first a coaching business after I left the event
organizing, I started my coaching business, which was
helping people. Really it's self sabotaged.
(32:08):
And that's where the somatic work came in and the first time.
So I was helping people taking action Start Stop really
procrastinating and start livingthe life that they truly wanted.
And I was very, let's say, delusional in the very
beginning, as probably many entrepreneurs are that oh, this
is it and I'm going to be this super successful entrepreneur.
(32:31):
And then reality hits in and yourealize, oh, this is way harder
than I thought. And I remember it was a few
months after I left the the project and we were in Mexico
with my boyfriend. And I just came off from from a
sales school. And it was after many, many
sales schools. And I'm sitting on this couch
(32:52):
and my boyfriend walks in and hecan see that something is not
OK. So he just asked the question
like Dory, what's wrong? And I just burst into tears.
And basically I started crying. And for me, what happened is
that I never thought this is going to be this hard.
And I told him that I don't think that I cut out for this.
Like maybe this whole entrepreneurship is just not for
(33:14):
me. And he, he asked me like, how
would you make it enjoyable and what would it make for you
enjoyable that also would help you get clients.
And I just said, I want to speak, I would want to run a
workshop. I would love.
I missed that. I really missed that feeling.
And that's what I basically did.I did a workshop a few weeks
after that after this conversation and I signed 2
(33:36):
clients and I'm like, wow. And then I went to a conference
and I spoke at a conference and I signed another one.
And then I was invited to a retreat and I did a session
there. That was somatic session.
And then two more clients came. And for me that was the proof
that oh wow. If I put my efforts into
actually doing the thing that ofcourse I had the advantage of
(33:59):
learning for many years of what are the, the ways how to do it.
And now at this point I was not afraid of public speaking.
Now it can really benefit my business.
And the shift came a year later when I decided this is going to
be the business where what I want to help people really do
because public speaking can be really powerful.
And for me, it feels so much better to do public speaking
(34:21):
than constantly create content because this actually feels my
content as well because I do oneengagement and I cut it out to
smaller pieces. So now I have content as well
and I build trust way faster because the timeline just
collapses. So the one of the best is really
to do as many speaking workshops.
Do it the right way, do it strategically.
(34:43):
And as a business owner, you will see that clients will find
you. And now maybe you're not the one
who will need to chase them, because they are the ones who
come to you after a workshop andwow, tell me more.
I am 100% with you because what there is no better way to build
that trust. Imagine like speak of content,
we write content, you send emails, you do that and that.
(35:04):
But those that are actually wanting to engage buy from you,
they don't see your face. And even if you put a selfie out
there and so on, that helps a bit.
But who you buy from, someone that you actually hear speaking,
sharing their insight, their expertise and so on.
Or someone that is just writing a piece of content, which of
course can still show authority and so on.
But we are in 2025, AI writes a lot of the content that you see
(35:27):
online. That's the reality.
But the face of a human being that is speaking and share their
insights, that's still a bit rare popular problem platforms
like YouTube and so on. But it's still, and it's still
quite hard, at least at this point, to mimic and to just let
AI do it for you. And even when that time will
come, you might, might be obvious that it's not a human
(35:48):
being and you still trust more. Those that you see on a stage
shake their hand and just vibe much more easier with them than
with someone that you just saw online and such.
So it's really powerful. It's really powerful.
And some people still I guess, abit more convincing because they
have to overcome those barriers that you mentioned today.
And for those that they acknowledge that this is the
(36:09):
step four, they want to overcomeit.
They want to leverage public speaking and so on and need
guidance where they can't connect with Tudori.
Before we go there, I've really just wanted to touch point
because you brought in somethingvery, very important, which is
AI right now. And I do see that people right
now don't don't want this perfectly written content.
(36:29):
They are just so tired of that. They are really skeptical and I
don't know if you checked any ofthe statistics recently, but
they that marketer said, I used to take seven touch points
before a person buy from you andnow the number is 28.
And I just checked because I've recently done the Nomad word
conference that we talked about in the very beginnings.
And I wanted to be like on top of what is the new statistics.
(36:53):
So it's 28. And this really just shows me
that now it takes four times longer for a customer to go
through this. I don't even know who is this
person and now I trust that person and what happens with
speaking, especially if you're doing it on a live stage, but it
can be a Zoom and it also can behere right now in the podcast
that you are doing. I think this is one of another
(37:15):
great ways to use your voice because now what happens is
speaking collapses this timeline.
People hear you, they hear your voice.
If they see your face, that's anadded bonus as well.
And they feel who you are, whichthey will probably not feel from
just the content. They really need to consume so
much of that to actually get to that stage and to get to the
(37:37):
trust. So now we are also talking that
that's why speaking can be so powerful and gets you clients
way faster. This whole trust thing because
of the storytelling, because of all these different aspects that
we talked about, helps you so much with that.
And you mentioned again, for thepeople who are still having this
fear and you need to overcome what I would say, and this is it
(38:00):
happened to me last year, we went to London to Thor Park.
I don't know if any of the listeners been to Thor Park is
in the music park and we went tothis roller coaster And you know
the feeling when you're sitting on the roller coaster and it
starts going up and you, I was sitting there and I questioned
all my choices. I'm like, Oh my God, maybe this
was a mistake. What if we just gonna derail?
(38:22):
What if this hardness is not gonna hold me and I'm going to
fall out? All of these questions are going
through my head. And then you there's the
decision is already made. You're going up.
There's nothing to do and you start going down and I started
screaming from fear, but then from enjoyment.
And I think this is when people say that the fear and the
(38:43):
nervousness, what you feel when it comes to whatever in life, it
can be the public speaking what we're talking about and
enjoyment are exactly the same emotions.
And the only difference is what is your expectation?
If you expect something to go wrong, then that's going to be
fear and nerves. If you expect something to go
(39:03):
well and to enjoy it, then it's going to be excitement.
And I was going through this fear enjoyment in like seconds
of changing because once I really enjoyed it.
But then another thought came and I think this is one of the
most powerful refrain for these listeners that it's exactly the
same thing. You just need to expect
something that is good on the other end.
(39:26):
And when you expect the best, the best happens, right?
Probably not all the time, but most of the cases that's that's
the reality. Because often, yeah, we we put
ourselves down And in that situation, you're like, Oh my
God, this bad thing might happenif I do that or you lose my
reputation or that and that. But in reality, people payless
attention that you want towards our own way of speaking maybe,
(39:48):
or way of behaving and so on. And we are just overthinking it.
Story Please tell those listening where they can find
you, where they can work with you.
They can find me on Instagram. It's my name Dory you has
speaking my LinkedIn. It's just my name Dory you has
JUHASEI also have my website. These are the easiest and I'm
(40:09):
super happy to offer them a checklist of how to nail your
next talk and it goes through with all of these main points
and super, super useful if someone is preparing for a talk
or even just a podcast interview.
You can use it for all of these occasions.
Awesome. Thank you so much.
I'll put it down in the show notes, the link as well.
And I'd like to conclude with a small meeting that you're about
(40:33):
to have with Dory, but it's a bit back in time.
You're just about to have the next day that event that you're
mentioning that kick off your speaking career and you have
just one minute with younger Dory to give some piece of
advice to her what that will be.You will never feel ready.
Just start doing. Just don't overthink.
(40:53):
Just go and take the action. And you don't.
You need to see the clear path. It's actually sometimes it's
nicer not to know the clear path, because then you know that
you are on your path and you're not following someone else's.
Dori, you has on authority in the wild.
Thanks so much for telling me. Thank you so much for having me,
it was such a pleasure.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark
My Favorite Murder is a true crime comedy podcast hosted by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark. Each week, Karen and Georgia share compelling true crimes and hometown stories from friends and listeners. Since MFM launched in January of 2016, Karen and Georgia have shared their lifelong interest in true crime and have covered stories of infamous serial killers like the Night Stalker, mysterious cold cases, captivating cults, incredible survivor stories and important events from history like the Tulsa race massacre of 1921. My Favorite Murder is part of the Exactly Right podcast network that provides a platform for bold, creative voices to bring to life provocative, entertaining and relatable stories for audiences everywhere. The Exactly Right roster of podcasts covers a variety of topics including historic true crime, comedic interviews and news, science, pop culture and more. Podcasts on the network include Buried Bones with Kate Winkler Dawson and Paul Holes, That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast, This Podcast Will Kill You, Bananas and more.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com