Introverts vs. Extroverts, Enhancing Collaboration and Personal Growth

Can understanding your social style improve your work and personal life? Find out as we explore the interaction between introverts and extroverts. Jacki Lutz with co-host, Stacey Miller, share their experiences navigating the middle ground between introversion and extroversion. Our guests, Matt Fowler, an exuberant head of sales at Visual SKUs, and Meagan Moody, the introspective head of customers and strategy for ZF Aftermarket, offer insights from opposite ends of the personality spectrum. We challenge stereotypes and uncover how acknowledging these traits can foster collaboration and personal growth.

Engage in our discussion on the complexities of small talk versus meaningful conversations and how each personality type handles these social nuances. We break down the skill required to transition from superficial chit-chat to valuable interactions, especially in professional settings like networking events and conferences. Our conversation highlights common misconceptions, such as the myth that extroverts always need to be talking, and delves into the emotional impact on extroverts when their social efforts fall flat. Learn about the balance introverts seek for comfort and the multitasking tendencies that can either aid or hinder meaningful communication.

We also venture into how introversion and extroversion affect relationships, both personal and professional. From forming friendships to managing biases, we discuss the importance of mutual understanding and respect for different social energy levels. Discover how managers can better engage introverted employees and how both personality types can harmoniously contribute to a team. With anecdotes and personal stories, we emphasize the value of a balanced social dynamic. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and those around you, and learn how to create a more inclusive and effective workplace.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to Auto Care On Air, a candid podcast for a
curious industry.
I'm Jackie Lutz, contentDirector at the Auto Care
Association, and this is CarpoolConversations, where we
collaborate on today's mostrelevant power skills.
We are all headed in the samedirection, so let's get there
together.
Today's topic is all aboutintroverts and extroverts.

(00:34):
I have with me my co-host,stacey Miller, vp of
Communications at the Auto CareAssociation.
Stacey and I really made agreat pair for hosting this
topic, because we are both alittle bit more middle of the
road when it comes to beingintroverted or extroverted.
She definitely leans more onthe introverted side and I lean
more on the extroversion side.
But since Stacey and I reallyhave the middle of the road
covered, I needed guests thatwere at the opposite ends of the

(00:55):
spectrum.
For a far on the extrovertedspectrum, I immediately thought
of my friend Matt Fowler, headof sales at Visual SKUs.
He is also the current chair ofthe Auto Care Association's
under 40 community called Yang.
He is the poster child forextroversion, with little to no
introversion in him.
And for the far on theintroverted spectrum person, I

(01:16):
really didn't have to look veryfar either my dear friend Megan
Moody, head of customers andstrategy for ZF Aftermarket
quickly came to my mind and Ireally learned a lot from this
conversation.
I always considered myself apure extrovert, just loving
social situations and beingaround people.
I am a pretty open book and Iconnect very easily with others.

(01:37):
But you'll find as we get goingin this conversation, I found
myself relating quite a bit tosome of what the introverts say
as well.
So I really started questioningmy extroversion and I think I
might be more of an ambivert,but that's really great insight
to have about myself.
So I'm really hoping this doesthe same thing for you.
You'll be getting fourperspectives from all over the

(01:59):
spectrum and I hope it helps youlearn a little bit more about
yourself and also how to workbetter with those around you.
So thank you so much for beinghere.
That's right, an introvert is aperson oh, I hate this sentence
.
Yeah, an introvert is a personwith qualities of a personality

(02:22):
type known as introversion.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Wow, no kidding, introverts are introverted.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
I told myself I wouldn't read that sentence.
What a waste of breath.
Can you imagine having to have?

Speaker 3 (02:33):
typed that.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
Fire them.
The chat GPT right there.
You're trying to get like 200words in your document.
You're like an introvert issomeone who is in the world of
the other introverts.
That's kind of introverted.

Speaker 1 (02:50):
But which means that they feel more comfortable
focusing on their inner thoughtsand ideas rather than what's
happening externally.
They enjoy spending time withjust one or two people rather
than large groups or crowds.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
That last part hands down I agree with, but the first
part is where I still strugglea bit.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
For me.
What I hear with that is, likeyou mentioned earlier, friday
afternoon you want to be layingin the hammock with a book, you
know, and I'm like.
The idea of sitting somewherequietly with my thoughts is
absolutely awful.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
I like it.
I would love to do that Again.
I have toddlers, so maybe I'min a weird time of my life.
I have toddlers, so maybe I'min a weird time of my life.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
I have a puppy.
It's basically the same, yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
Well, I'm also a big reader, Like I don't mind my
alone time and quiet.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
I don't spend any time in silence ever, Like that
seems awful to me.

Speaker 4 (03:37):
Stacey, how do you interpret?

Speaker 3 (03:38):
it.
I generally agree.
Like I, as a self-proclaimedsomewhat introvert, I do take
more time with my own innerthoughts and ideas.
Like I think about mymannerisms and my personality
just in general, both in and outof the workplace.
Like I am more likely to sitand deeply think on a project or

(04:01):
a program.
I am more likely to sit andthought without music or without
distraction because I want tohave the internal dialogue on
something and I'm more likely toflesh out an idea by myself and
take it from start to finishwithout necessarily asking
others for feedback.
So for me I interpret thatmaybe as some independence, like

(04:25):
the introversion causes someindependence, because you want
to think and figure it outyourself.
That to me is what the innerthoughts and ideas mean and what
I interpret that as.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
So I see that part as true.
I would agree with that becausemaybe on a more extroverted
side, I love quiet time andfleshing out ideas and I love
that deep thought time.
I love it.
It's when I'm most creative.
But then I love thecollaborative part next.
So I want to flesh that ideaout between a lot of different

(04:54):
people and get a collaborativeenvironment going and get more
thoughts and opinions on it.
And then by the time I'm donedoing that, it's usually morphed
into something that was not myoriginal idea, but it's way
better in my opinion.
But yeah, I could totally seethat, because I don't think I'd
feel comfortable just goingforward with just my thoughts.
I don't trust that at all.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Yeah.
Do you think that people whoelect to work remote, or really
gung-ho about remote work, areinherently introverted or no?

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Because I'm not I'm like 50-50 about what I want to
work from home, though I feellike I liked it in the beginning
and then, after three years ofit, I'm like I need to talk to
somebody face to face, likethere was a while that we're
like.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
All of a sudden, you're like I haven't spoken to
a human face to face in threedays I couldn't agree more
because, like I love theflexibility of working remote, I
probably would have very, verylittle opportunities from where
I live.
And because I live so far out,I get up really early to get to
an office at eight, like reallyearly.
So I get a lot of my time back,which is important, but after a

(05:56):
week of just being by myself inmy attic I am like dying for
some social time.

Speaker 4 (06:03):
Yeah, and even as an introvert for me I am, and that
goes to the spectrum comment oflike where are you on introvert
versus extrovert?
Because for myself I hit alimit of working from home the
definitions we looked at earlierbecause I actually go to the

(06:24):
office sometimes in order tomake sure, like to kind of like
help myself get stuff done.
I feed off of kind of thatenvironment a little bit in
order.
But that's, I think, thecreative side of me where I need
a little bit of noise, ofinteraction in order to kind of
get some of that stuff done.
So I can't work from home 100%,I need to occasionally go and

(06:48):
get the people interaction.

Speaker 3 (06:49):
I'm the same way.
Even though I'm introvertedonce in a while, it's just a
little too lonely.
Yeah, I haven't seen anyone.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yeah, I don't even have the option to go to an
office.
Yeah, if I want to go to anoffice, it's a client's site.

Speaker 1 (07:01):
But do you travel a lot site, but do you travel a
lot.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
I do travel a fair bit, but that's the only thing
that saves.
It is because, like, there'ssome times where you just want
to like bounce ideas and it'snot like I want to set up a
team's meeting and I want to sitdown and I want to do this.
I want to like like when I hadmy old team, all of my
one-on-ones were walking, so wewould walk the entire office
while we were chatting and likegetting things done, because
that was the way to kind of keepkeep things moving.

(07:23):
Cause I felt like sometimes ifyou're just sitting there
staring either at a screen oreven just in a conference room
and you're just like I'm likeokay, I need to move, like I
need to go be with people, andthat's just where you draw that
energy, which that's theextrovert side, obviously.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
Introverts are like no, I want to, in a quiet room,
I'm like.
Or what if we walked out on thestudio floor full of 45
photographers?
We talked instead.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
It might be why I network so hard when I'm at
events, though, cause, like I,when I go to like connect or I
go to apex I, I cram those daysuntil late at night and I get up
early.
I get to the breakfast, butit's probably because I am
cooped up in an attic most of mylife and getting it all out of
your system.

Speaker 4 (08:11):
Yeah, she sounds a little Harry Potter-ish there,
like crammed under the boy underthe cupboard.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
I was thinking of Flowers in the Attic.
What was that movie?

Speaker 1 (08:19):
It sounds terrifying.
I don't know what it is, but Idon't need to sounds terrifying.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
I don't.
I don't know what it is, but Idon't need to.
When I always think of it likeintroversion, extroversion.
There are plenty of publicspeakers that were, I mean,
steve jobs right, very much soan introvert, but the face of
apple right.
But when it comes tointroversion, extroversion, I
always look at it as like wheredo they recharge?
Like, do they recharge alone intheir own space or do they
recharge in a big group?
Like, where do they recharge?
Like, do they recharge alone intheir own space or do they
recharge in a big group?

(08:46):
Like having those conversationsand like being out.
Like for me, if I don't get outand go see people after a few
days, I'm like dragging where.
Some people are like, okay,I've seen people for too many
days.
I need.
Like, when I come back from aconference, I'm pumped and ready
to go and get things done.
When you come back from aconference, you're like I, I
think I'm going to sit in a boxfor a week digest everything
that happened.

(09:07):
And I'm like let's go getthings done, which makes it hard
sometimes.
When you get back and you'relike okay, I'm ready to go
Because for me, I've justrebuilt all the energy and I'm
ready to go crush it and you'relike, I need to get my energy
back.

Speaker 4 (09:18):
Yes, oh, my God.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Recognizing those two things can be hard at work,
because that's where you'regoing to instantly clash of like
, no, I need a second to thinkabout this, and the extrovert's
like let's get going yeah.

Speaker 4 (09:30):
No, I think that's a perfect example.
I mean, especially like you'rein sales, matt.
You come back from a conferenceand all you want to do is like
jump on all the leads that yougot, whereas I come back and
even if I connected with asalesperson at a conference that
, like I know I really need togo down that path, it's like
don't dare contact me on thatMonday after the conference
because I need my days, like I'msomeone that like, like I think

(09:54):
it, you know the spectrum ofwhat introversion to
extroversion of.
But your comment you may, matt,specifically about where do you
get your energy to reboot?
That to me, is helps define youtowards one end or the other.
And your comment of you get itfrom people and if you don't see
people in three days, you'vegot to go get people to reboot

(10:16):
me.
If I travel all week or I'm inthe office all week, friday
night I am here, I'm on my couch, I'm reading a book, it's quiet
, there is no noise, it's just.
It's just me recharging.
That sounds absolutely awfuland it's perfect for me.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
I live in downtown chicago as a mother of toddlers.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
It sounds wonderful.
Tell me everything, heaven tellme.

Speaker 4 (10:40):
Oh, let me tell you, because the best part is during
the summer, where you can takethat whole mode and go out in
the hammock.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
So yeah, like a social recharge is important for
introverts and you have asocial meter that depletes every
couple of minutes or everycouple of hours, the more you're
at one of those networkingevents and you know there's a
point where you have to throw inthe towel.
Yeah, go back recharge, havesome alone time and then come
back so you can focus on it.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
Yeah, those networking events that you bring
up is a good point, Because forme small talk.

Speaker 3 (11:08):
I can't, I can't jealous of people who can make
good small talk small talkacquired.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
I need the value, I need the connection, Because if
it's small talk like, I can lasta lot longer when I'm having
valuable conversations withpeople a lot longer.
But you put me in a like, smalltalk, like oh, that was your
day, what do you do?
I'm dead in 30 minutes.

Speaker 2 (11:31):
Well, I mean, it's a skill to pull people out of
small talk.
Asking the right questions issomething that it's a learned
skill over time, for sure whenit comes to networking right.
Everyone starts with oh, it'ssunny and it's like where do I
go from there?
Like sure is Good job, like Ihope you put on your SPF, like

(11:54):
there's nowhere to follow thatup.
But, like you said, if you'reasking the right questions,
you're like hey, what are youexcited about today?

Speaker 4 (12:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
You know I forget who it was as a comedian, his
favorite question to ask peopleis like what's the last thing
you changed your mind down?
I'm like, if someone asks youthat, I'm like first, I'm like
every morning there's something.
I mean, my mind changes all thetime.
Um, but like that's part ofintroversion.
Extroversion, that's part ofjust people being bad
communicators.
Um, but I always see atconferences you can kind of pick

(12:23):
out the people who are moreintroverted, because those are
the ones that are like I've gotto go get some things done and
they go back to their room fortwo hours and then they come
back and they're ready to go andthey're this, and then you've
been out this whole time.
Like I wish we didn't have tosit for part of this.
Like we can, I can be talking,we're very valuable time of me
talking and listening and allthose things.
Because like that's the other,I think common misconception is

(12:45):
this like extroverts don'talways have to be talking, they
can be part of the conversationand listening, and that's still
getting that bit, don't get mewrong, because many of us do
tend to talk a lot, but we don'talways say a lot I disagree
with that.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
It's true.
I think you have a lot ofinteresting things to say.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Well, yeah.

Speaker 4 (13:07):
Not always.
Okay, yeah, not always.

Speaker 2 (13:10):
There are some people who I mean, I've known
introverts that feel the need.
They're like well, for me to fitin, I have to be talking, so
people will think that I'mapproachable and da-da-da-da and
it's like well, people canusually tell if it's forced to
like, if it's not your naturalstate to be the center of the
conversation unless you need tobe like, don't feel like you
have to be, um, and on the flipside, an extrovert being like my

(13:32):
natural tendency is to be inthe center of the room and I
feel like, because I'm aroundintroverts, I need to stand back
and it's like well, sometimesjust play with that medium a
little bit and see whereeverybody else is, because some
people might expect you to takethat role up, because they know
you well enough to know.
Like you know, when Matt walksin, he's going to talk to
everybody that's here and findout what's going on.
I'm going to sit back for aminute, but if I come in

(13:55):
thinking okay, I know there's alot of introverts, I should
probably turn that side of mybrain on.
And then everybody that waswith me is like so what happened
?
And you're like oh, I wassupposed to do that, like I
thought I was blending in betterby changing, and over time you
realize that that usuallydoesn't work.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
What's the biggest struggle of an extrovert that's
very far on the spectrum, likeyou?

Speaker 2 (14:17):
It's your feelings hurt a lot Because, like, if you
think about it, right, so likeif I wanted to have a
conversation with megan, andshe's like get out of my office.
And it's not because she's madat me, it's not because
anything's wrong, and she's likeI need to, I can't, I can't
talk to you and get this done atthe same time, where an
extrovert's like typing withthis hand and this hand while
listening to a podcast andeating, and like that's just,

(14:40):
we're moving, yeah, constantlymoving but I will tell you and
maybe this is not an introvertedthing, but maybe it's just, you
know, one piece of mypersonality but I will tell you
that when I see people doingthat like that little situation
and I could even think about itwhen you and I were recently on
a phone call, matt um, I'mmaking very often when I'm on

(15:03):
phone calls I could.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
I could literally.
He was doing like three thingsat once and I'm sitting here
going okay, but did we actuallyhave the conversation we needed
to make?
Did did all of that getabsorbed?

Speaker 2 (15:16):
is how I'm how I look at it okay, great, got it.
Next steps yeah, I talked tothe rest of your team after that
call and was like okay, we'regonna go and you're like, did he
even hear a word?
I said yes, which is.
I mean, that's something that Inaturally just need to work on,
but like, but that's a piece ofit is.
Like in that scenario of like Iwalk up and she's like I need,
sometimes you can internalizethat and think what did I do

(15:39):
wrong?
Like am I too much, am I this,am I that?
And so like.
For people who are extremelyextroverted, which sometimes I
am, sometimes I'm not as much,but I'm always on that side of
the fence.
But yeah, you can't get yourfeelings hurt a little bit
because you you internalize itof like, wait, they don't want
me around, as opposed to theyneed their men taking a second
to think, no, no, they just needto recharge.

(16:00):
I'll talk to them in an hour.
And it takes a while to pickthat up.
Of like, why are they saying no?
Because sometimes, yeah, youare being annoying and you need
to walk away, but sometimes theyjust need to recharge and has
nothing to do with you.
And sometimes I feel likeextroverts can sometimes
internalize things a lot whenthey're around introverts that
are like give me my space,because the extrovert's not

(16:22):
getting anything from havingtheir own space.

Speaker 4 (16:24):
That internalization, jackie, you've talked about
that before.
What, how like you tend tointernalize, or no?
That was you.
Oh, that's me.
You tend to internalize things.

Speaker 3 (16:34):
I'll internalize that stuff.
But that's why this is such animportant point when it comes to
communication in the workplaceKnowing what type of

(16:57):
communicator or personalityother people are whether it's
through predictive index or adisc or something like that to
know this person's introverted,this person's extroverted, this
person's a controller, thisperson's a collaborator.
All'm always thinking aboutwell, do I want an introvert or
an extrovert?
Subconsciously, right, likeit's not in the job description.
But don't we naturallygravitate to some extroverted
people?
They're easy to talk to,they're going to be great
talking to clients or talking tomembers.
And then we're sitting here andwe're talking about introverts.

(17:19):
And do I want to hire someonewho needs to recharge and isn't
going to be networking for fourhours?
And I looked up what were theskills that make introverts so
valuable in the workplace and Ithought they were actually
really interesting, because Iconsider myself these, but I
think other people misunderstandthem.
So what I found was introvertsthink more, so they take the

(17:41):
time to process things a littlebit longer, like if you're
sitting in a meeting, you'reinformation like less impulse
yeah, okay, less impulses orthey just take more time, they
focus longer, which I think isdefinitely the case for some of
us here at the table, like Ineed time like that, focus time
to think where the door isclosed and no one's popping in,
nobody's I am me, so I couldhave those deep thought

(18:01):
exercises.
They're often gifted in aspecific field, so we should
talk about that.
Do any of us feel like they'rereally gifted in something?
And then they do the rightthing under pressure?
Apparently, introverts do theright thing under pressure.
So instead of doing the thingthat everybody expects them to
do it might not be the rightthing or the popular decision
They'll do the right thingbecause they think more and they

(18:23):
focus longer to make thosedecisions.
So that seems like a really bigbenefit for employers or people
who are seeking out others towork with.
Introversion is not a bad thing.

Speaker 1 (18:32):
Yeah, I'd like to hear those for an extrovert
because I don't not relate tothose.
But you know, I could see.
I mean, obviously all of thoseare probably a spectrum too, but
at my previous job, in myprevious role, I didn't have a
lot of deep thought time.
In my current role I do, and ithelps a lot and it helps me

(18:54):
focus.
But it was like the last oneyou said.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
They do the right thing under pressure.
I love that.

Speaker 4 (19:04):
So yeah, and it was your comment that you made when
you said that the do the rightthing under pressure may not
always be the popular opinion itmade me think about tendencies
of like people pleasing Right,exactly no, but that's what it
made me think of because, like,going to the social aspect of

(19:28):
extroverts, like it's alwayslike you're this, you want to be
part of the group, you want tolike like you even said, matt,
you're trying to find ways tolike, kind of even blend in,
depending on the crowd, and it'slike I don't like, like you
said, do the right thing, like Idon't care if someone's going
to like it or not, like I'm justgoing to do what's right.

Speaker 1 (19:49):
I think you're completely right.
I think I mentioned before.
I know that they don'tcompletely interlink, but I
think people pleasing comes alittle bit with extroversion in
a way, because I think in a waywe tie like Matt and I we'll tie
our value a little bit to oursocial lives, right, a lot of it
, and so you want to be acceptedinnately.

(20:09):
But you know, I don't thinkthat they're completely linked.
But I think people pleasing isa slippery slope and I, you know
, as an extrovert and as arecovering people pleaser, I can
see a link there.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
I really can no-transcript to make sure that

(20:52):
people are going to receive it,and maybe that's just an
internal thing.
That's something that I wouldthink that extroverts would be
more aware of, because you'remore aware of how other people
are reacting.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
Yeah, I would agree with that.
So what's the biggest challengeof being an introvert?
We heard the biggest challengefor an extrovert it was getting
your feelings heard, which is sosad, Matt.

Speaker 2 (21:14):
The idea of a sad man .
Don't get me wrong.
It's like not wildly dramatic.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Do you just like cry?

Speaker 2 (21:19):
I just sit at home when I'm not recharging, with my
puppy and I'm like Romeo, I'mgoing to need you to hear me out
.
I mean, I think it's not thatdramatic, but that's something.
That's something to becognizant of, as in like, if
you're an introvert trying tofigure out, you know, what could
I do in my world?
To like be more cognizant ofwhat an extrovert goes through

(21:41):
is like, hey, you know, beingcareful about how you deliver
things, because they caninternalize things too, even
though they're always the bubblyone and they're always outgoing
and they're always like if theycan understand where you're
coming from right, it's a goodplace.
Make sure that you're not justall the time like get away from
me yeah.

Speaker 4 (22:00):
Toughest thing of an introvert Gosh, that's a really
tough question.
I don't know, stace, doesanything come to you immediately
?
Do you guys have?

Speaker 1 (22:10):
weaknesses, oh yeah, we don't admit them.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
Are you kidding me?

Speaker 4 (22:18):
Mine was not a weakness and I've perfected it
no, you know what it, and maybethis is getting a little raw, I
don't know, but I really thinkintroverts because we don't like
kind of the you were, you weresaying like you kind of feed off
of people, you can reademotions necessarily a little

(22:40):
bit better, you can kind oftwist things a bit better,
whereas I see introverts are alittle bit more straight and
narrow and that sometimes cancome off rather blunt.
Yeah, yep, um, and even thoughwe don't mean it that way, and I
think that you know, whenpeople use a lot more data, a
lot more facts, a lot more likethis is how it is, instead of

(23:01):
like softening the conversation,um, I I think that that's kind
of the.
Probably the toughest thingabout introverts is that you
don't mean to be blunt, you donmean it's just that your natural
tendency is.
You've already thought itthrough, you've had the deep
thinking session.
Now here it is, here it is.
It's just it's black and white.

(23:22):
It's black and white, like andI don't need to like massage the
edges and I think that maybethat's probably the toughest
thing is you don't want to beseen that way.
You're not intending to be seenthat way.
People have a perception of you, but people have a perception
and we massage the edges a lotless than extroverts do.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
I agree with that.
I think my biggest challengeand I thought about it as you
two were talking was theperception of being an introvert
.
Like admitting that you're anintrovert is really weird for
some reason in the workplace,probably because of the roles
that we're in, but for somereason I guess my perception was
that revealing that I am somesort of an introvert is a

(24:07):
weakness, or could be perceivedas some sort of weakness, and so
that's like a really irrationalfear.
But when you sit and you talkabout each, each personality
introvert, extrovert, somewherein between has its pros and cons
.
It's just a different way ofworking.
Like going through this heretoday has helped me a lot
because I thought, man, myintroversion is something I
really need to work on and Ineed to be less introverted.

(24:29):
But maybe I need to be moreunderstanding of how I work and
be open with people about how Iwork so they can work better
with me.

Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yeah, because I think that there's so many strengths
that come with introverts, LikeI don't think there's a negative
connotation when I hearsomebody admit that they're an
introvert, even if they're in anextroverted role.
I kind of think it's veryinteresting and it just gives
like that little bit ofdiversity that I think companies
kind of look for.
Right, you don't want allextroverts being communicators
in your company.

(24:56):
Could you imagine 100 matt?

Speaker 4 (24:57):
fowlers oh there is a paradise it's funny you said
that though, jenny that, becauseeven myself, as an introvert,
when I hear someone else saythat they're an introvert, I
naturally in my head go oh like,like, like, poor thing.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
Oh, you know, this is why I don't tell people things.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
Like because maybe it's because I know that it's
tough, but I I immediately havelike a perception in my head
when someone tells me thatthey're an introvert, even
though I'm an introvert.
Okay, well, riddle me this.

Speaker 1 (25:30):
Okay, I'm ready.
Like you and I became friendsseveral years ago, 2015.
And I would say, I would arguethat you chose me Because I
thought you didn't like me.

Speaker 2 (25:47):
Did you walk?

Speaker 1 (25:47):
up and give her a rose.
You're it.

Speaker 4 (25:49):
You're my extrovert.
You're my safe space Because Ithought you didn't like me
that's a very common thing and,seen with introverts, yes and
then like, but you kind of likekept coming around and I'm like,
okay, maybe she doesn't hate me.

Speaker 1 (26:01):
And then I'm like, actually, she kind of likes me.
Okay, we're cool, we're cool,we're cool.
So I feel like, so why do youchoose certain extroverts?
I'm just, is that a thing?

Speaker 4 (26:13):
I, he, I will.
I mean, why do you chooseanybody Like?
Why did you choose Rick tomarry him?
You know it's like he's anintrovert.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
I've only ever dated introverts.
I've never dated an extrovert.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
Okay, maybe it's like a pairing in regards to like
yeah, I mean, maybe that'ssomething Like I'm just thinking
, even like my personal lifeLike, yeah, extrovert is who I
go with.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
But why did I choose you?
Um well, not like me, not likeme personally, but well,
introverts need more trust?

Speaker 4 (26:43):
apparently I do.
I have to trust the person.
So I don't think it's like Iseek out extroverts by any means
, because definitely someextroverts drain my battery um
real quick.
I mean matt, until I got toknow you better, you drained my
battery like five minutes Irecall yeah.

(27:04):
So that that's for me at least.
I I think it just.
I think we need balance, youknow, and we, like you said, we
all sit in this range, but Ithink you gotta have a little
bit of balance otherwise a bunchof introverts in a room.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
Have you guys seen that video of all the dogs, or
they're like they brought allthe introverted dogs together to
a dog park and like they wereall just sitting there and no
one was playing.
Like none of the dogs wereplaying with each other what is
an introverted dog?
what breed?
They just don't like other dogs.
I don't know, it was all kindsof brains, but they're just like
hey, if you have an introverteddog, bring them to the dog park
.
They were going to try to kindof get the dogs to play together

(27:40):
and none of them playedtogether, so it was just like.

Speaker 4 (27:42):
Well, I would say, jackie and matt are the farthest
thing from an introverted doglike.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
That is something I think that can get overlooked
too is sometimes being anextrovert.
It's not even about being thecenter and being talking.
Also, it's the mere fact ofbeing around people.
Even if you're not actuallytalking and doing those things,
you're still around people, like.
I agree, the thought of beingalone is like and your fomo.

Speaker 4 (28:05):
Oh, you're missing out.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
I suffer daily every single day it's a real disease I
miss out on very little, but Isleep very little, hence the the
gallon of energy drink that I'mdrinking yeah, and I don't care
.

Speaker 1 (28:19):
I will gladly listen to somebody's story I've always
envied you that way and youstacy, like you guys all you
guys are okay with missing outon some things you know back I'm
happy to hear it.

Speaker 3 (28:30):
Yeah, because you know, you just know what's best
for you and you're like well, amI really gonna feel great after
I know network for anadditional two hours at the end
of this really long day, or if Igo on this work trip or if I do
this thing, if you overextendyourself, you kind of know when
you need to take a step back andthrow the towel in extending to

(28:51):
Matt and I.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
It's like let's fill our batteries.

Speaker 3 (28:54):
Let's get it going yeah, you have a bucket to fill,
a big bucket to fill, but thoseare like very good takeaways
Again for employers.
It's like if you identifypeople who are extroverts, you
know those are the people whoare going to want to go above
and beyond and take theopportunities.
It's not that introverts won't,but they just do it in a
different way, a different style, and they have to break those
things up into more manageablepieces in order for them to be

(29:16):
effective.

Speaker 4 (29:16):
And I think that's a good point, that it's not that
they don't want to.
I think sometimes, in order toget them started, you almost you
need to bring it to them,whereas extroverts may more
likely come to you and say, hey,I saw this, can I go to this,
can I do, can I do this whereasintroverts you as a manager or,

(29:37):
you know, as a colleague,anything, um, you may need to
recommend it to them and say,look like this may be something
that you'll find value in, thatyou can, you know, learn at, or
something like that, where, yeah, versus asking to just you know
, extroverts are seeking andintroverts are more comfortable
with receiving.

Speaker 3 (29:56):
Maybe.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
And that just again it keeps circling back for me of
, like you know, sometimes it's,it seems obvious, about
introverts, extroverts, all thatstuff, but at the end of the
day you don't.
Until you talk to people andget to know them, you don't
really know how their battery isactually charging.
Because I've definitely metsome people where I'm like you
are the most outgoing personI've ever met in my life and

(30:17):
that's a lot for me.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
Yeah, how do you handle meeting someone who's
even more outgoing orextroverted than yourself?

Speaker 2 (30:24):
It's not as hard as it might seem, because usually
you're vibing with them andyou're like let's go do
something.
When Jackie and I first met, itwas very quick that we were off
doing whatever like and notthat she's more extroverted than
me, but I would be moreextroverted than her.
So in that role it's just likeyou know, you end up just kind
of vibing.
But there are definitely timeswhere you're like okay, you're a
lot, I'm a lot, and I get it.

(30:45):
And then but sometimes you likeinternalize that too, route.
You're like wait, and now yourfeelings hurt, I love maybe I
just get my feelings really easy.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
I'm sensitive.
Here's a question for theintroverts.
So do you guys feel like youare maybe like have a harder
time connecting with people,like making a true connection,
so you don't like the small talk, understood, um, but when it
comes to making key connections,is that something that's pretty
easy for you, or do you thinkit's it's difficult for you to
connect with a lot of people ata higher level or deeper level,

(31:21):
or deeper level?
Maybe that's a better way toput it.

Speaker 4 (31:24):
I think I'm more quality over quantity.
I mean it goes back to thattrust aspect.
Um, I'm not gonna have a deepconnection with a bunch of
people.
I will build a deep connectionwith those that I fully like,
that I can fully trust.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
Yeah, I think I'm definitely the same way and I
probably shouldn't admit this inmy role, but it's definitely
tough for me to connect withpeople on a deeper level.
On a deeper level, that smalltalk thing really resonates with
me because I know that'ssomething I could work on and
that's an acquired skill forsure.
But you know, if I'm not on atext basis with you, then I
probably don't have a goodconnection with you Do you feel

(32:05):
like people have a hard timeconnecting with you back?

Speaker 4 (32:08):
I do, hands down, I do.

Speaker 3 (32:10):
I do and I wonder what, like, how do I improve
that, particularly in myprofessional life?
Because you go to these eventsand you wonder.
You know, I really do want totalk to this person and be
sociable in this group, but Idon't know how.
You know, where's the course onhow to be a better talker,
right, like?
I know there's flashcards, likelittle icebreaker flashcards

(32:30):
Matt was talking about.
You know how's the weather,okay, but what's the follow up
after that?
I don't have the follow up cardin my little blazer jacket to
pull it out, peek at it, what'snext?
What's okay, what's next?

Speaker 1 (32:40):
So you know, I gravitate towards people who can
naturally carry theconversation and I follow them
and try to learn from them, butotherwise it's very hard for me,
honestly because I do feel likethat's something that I'm Matt,
you can answer this too but Ifeel like I connect with people
very easily and I think peoplerelate to me very easily.
But it might have something todo with, like what Matt said

(33:02):
earlier about kind of adjustingyour social, you know, depending
on the person, depending on theenvironment, where you kind of
make the adjustment and you cankind of manage to find a
connecting point.
But are you?

Speaker 4 (33:12):
connecting completely , or are they more superficial
connections to kind of just getyou through those conversations
that point in time?
Or do you think you're trulylike deeply connecting with
somebody that like you can likeStacey, that'd be on a text
basis as soon as you walk out ofthere with I'm on a text basis
with a lot of people and I lovemaking that connection.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
But I think if you can connect on a, even if it's a
parenting level or or somethinglike that, where you kind of
have, you're basically talkingabout the difference between
like an acquaintance and who youwould consider a friend.
Right, and I would considerpeople friends, probably easier
than you guys would considerpeople friends.
I think that's what we'regetting at.
Yes, yes, so, like my, my deepconnection is probably shallower

(33:57):
than yours but, like in my, inmy head, I consider that person
truly a friend versus anacquaintance, but we connected.
So you know if something wereto happen in their life and you
know like there's.
There's multiple people now,especially after you know the
past few months that onLinkedInin I'm not super close
with them necessarily, but maybewe've connected on something at

(34:18):
an event.
At one point they get laid off.
I'm one of those people thatthey message and then we go back
and forth and then we get on azoom call together and then you
know we actually are.
I would consider them a friendnow, um, where you know, even if
you did that, you know at anintro, as an introvert, even if
you did that much with somebody,if you even got to that point,
which who knows.
But would you consider that anacquaintance?

Speaker 4 (34:40):
yeah, because I'm thinking like unless they're
gonna help me hide the bodythat's a front like that's a
high bar yikes.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
That's a really good point.
So introverts and extrovertshave different ways that they
evaluate what level ofconnection they have with people
.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
I never thought, well , just I don't mean either, but
just hearing you guys talk umand and then hearing matt talk
it just kind of made me thinkabout that.

Speaker 2 (35:06):
Like maybe that has a is an element to extroversion
or introversion when I love thesmall talk, like those little
bits that you get from peoplethat have nothing to do with
anything which is like, oh,that's kind of a cool fact about
that person.
And then you kind of move on,you're like, and then you
remember like three weeks laterlike who was the pitcher for the
reds in 85?
you're like, oh, I know who tocall for that at that one time,

(35:27):
but like that's kind of a, ifyou don't have those little
small conversations, um, I feellike you wouldn't have the that
like.
Like I love being someone who'slike.
I've got a guy like yeah inevery instance I've got a guy or
a gal or whatever, but likethat's the.
That's what was the old sayinggrowing up of.
Like you've got that personthat you call you're like.
I don't know what I need, buthere's my problem who do I call?

(35:50):
and you're like, oh yeah, ofcourse you just call so-and-so
uh, but that's why I pickedjackie right.
Well, that's the thing.
Like you find that friend who'slike okay, they, they know
everybody and so yeah, andthat's the extrovert, and that's
like an introvert keeps one intheir pocket because they're
like, I might need this lateryou're mine this is.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
This is strategy.
We thought introverts, usintroverts thought really deep
about this.
We focused on who to bring intoour circle that was going to
expand our circle with uswithout us having to compromise
our space, our space and oursafety in those social
situations.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
Oh, this just got really deep yeah, we just
realized, oh, because likethat's what we did in those
definitions um that we readearlier about introverts and
extroverts.
Um, an introvert, one of thequalities was being guarded
right, and I can totally seethat with the people around this
table, like there aredefinitely two of us who are

(36:49):
more guarded than the other two.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
Yes, yes, guilty well , something I was thinking while
we were talking about friendsversus acquaintances that if I
think back to people that Iwould consider introverted
versus extroverted, when you'reout and about, if I see somebody
that I've met before, I'malways going to wave and say hi
and be like oh, so you knowwhere an introvert my assumption
is and this is where I'mcurious would see that person be

(37:12):
like oh, that person was thereand keep walking.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
Okay, I do that on airplanes all the time.
I don't even listen to music oranything because I want to work
.
I can't listen to music andwork.
I'll just put the earbuds in sono one talks to me.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
That's what they think that I'm listening.
You got a little introvert inyou.

Speaker 1 (37:29):
Yeah, there she is, it's there popped up when she
needs her naps.
Yeah, so I just sleep like Iwas gonna ask, because I think
an introvert's nightmare andeven mine, quite frankly is when
someone I don't know sits nextto me on the plane and starts
talking to me and then we'regetting into conversation when I
wanted to work or I wanted torelax or I wanted to just watch
a movie, um, but do you, do youtalk to people that you don't

(37:50):
know like?
Are you the person that startsup the conversation?

Speaker 2 (37:53):
not usually, because because I and this is has
nothing to do with introvert Iget motion sick.
So falling asleep for me islike that's my defense against
it, is like if I sleep throughthis flight I'm not going to get
sick, um, and like if you takeDramamine it's going to put you
to sleep anyway.
So, but I mean, I've definitelyhad the like, if I see someone
who's doing something or if,like I've like I've been even

(38:16):
seeing somebody who's likereading a book that I just read
and I'm like, oh my god, how'sthat?
Like I will do that, yeah, 100.
But the second it's like theplane is moving, there's no more
talking, um, and as soon as weland we'll talk.
I'll talk again, like oncewe're taxiing.
You know you've made a newfriend and like, what can you
learn about the city you'regetting into?

Speaker 1 (38:34):
do you talk to your uber driver?
Oh yeah do you start?
You start the conversation withyour uber driver.

Speaker 2 (38:41):
Usually you can tell if they want to, and in chicago
a lot of times they're on thephone anyway, so you don't.
But I've definitely like I'llusually let them start the
conversation because I'm likethey've been driving sometimes
for, you know, eight hours rightthey may want to talk or they
may be like just their socialbattery's dead like they're just
dead and so, like you try to,you're kind of cognizant of that

(39:02):
and that goes back.
I also sleep in capsules yeah,exactly the emotions think I
just fall asleep.

Speaker 4 (39:07):
I've always been someone like if I'm in movement,
in a vehicle of sorts, I willbe sleeping okay, I've got a
question because, like, you'retalking about starting
conversations with uber driversor someone that read a book I
don't know about you, stacy butlike, if I'm with someone that
is an extrovert like that andwill randomly start talking to

(39:27):
someone completely random, Ialmost get embarrassed.
Yeah, yeah, like my dad doesthis.
My dad does exactly what youdid.
Like he will just randomlystart talking to people because
of whatever, like oh, greatshirt, or we had yeah, oh, and
you know, whatever it is,there's always someone like that
just stop, just stop, just quit.
Talking to them like this isembarrassing.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
You don't know them like I will and then he would
consider them a good friend, astranger is just a friend you
haven't made yet.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
That's a good one.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
My grandpa's always done that, like I remember
growing up like we could beacross the country, and grandpa
will genuinely know somebody inthe airport and you're like,
when did you have an opportunity?
And I'm a pretty extrovertedperson, and even I well, as I'm
getting older, it's fair that Iusually see someone in an
airport that I know.
But I also travel a lot, so I'min airports a lot, but I'm also
like, if you think abouttraveling, I'm curious about

(40:21):
this.
I'm on a business trip.
It's me traveling for work orfor whatever.
I'm going to the hotel bar, I'mgoing to eat at the bar, I'm
going to talk with all of theother people at the bar and the
bartender.
Are you more likely to likeeither go sit at a table by

(40:42):
yourself or order into your roomversus actually going down?
Because, like the idea ofsitting at a table and eating a
meal alone at a restaurant isawful, I would rather just not
eat.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
I used to be that way .

Speaker 4 (40:56):
But I don't mind.
It doesn't bother me at all.
Me neither.
I actually love just having adinner by myself.
It comes with practice.
I used to be like you.

Speaker 2 (41:03):
I love sitting in the bar because then you can talk
even if you're not drinking,like you're talking to the
bartender and it's likesometimes they want to talk and
sometimes they don't, and youcan usually get that pretty
quick.
But I've definitely beensitting there too where I've
started.

Speaker 1 (41:14):
You know, you just start talking and hopefully
people chime in just hackingaway at their computer and
they're just looking at you likeyou could be quiet now.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
It's usually megan moody oh, that's me, but I'm
part of me is like okay, thenyou can go sit at the table no,
no, this is so funny.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
I'll tell you this.
I'll tell you the story becauseit talks a little bit earlier
about okay, how can I be alittle bit less introverted?
I'm a little bit embarrassed bythis.
How can I be better at my job?
So lately I've been trying togo out of my comfort zone and do
things like Matt would do.
I would normally like Megan sitat a table by myself or do room
service, do my work, you know,turn in for the night.

(41:52):
I'm not there to talk toanybody.
Recently I was in Toronto atthe AAA Canada conference and I
thought, hey, instead of goingto the airport I'm sorry, the
hotel restaurant I'm going to godiscover a place and I'm going
to sit at the bar and I'm justgoing to enjoy it and maybe I'll
get some networking in there.
Shame on me.
Shame on me Because I went tothe bar as my little introverted

(42:17):
self.
I ordered my food and I waslike excited because, like I
talked to the bartender, for twominutes.
I was like because, like, Italked to the bartender for two
minutes, I was like this isprogress.
And there were only two otherpeople at the bar and I was just
keeping to myself andeventually a girl sitting next
to me started engaging inconversation with me and we're
talking for like 30 minutes andit's going really, really,
really good.

(42:37):
I'm like, oh my God, I can dothis.
I'm legitimately an extrovert.
I just met a lawyer.
I'm networking.
I'm legitimately an extrovert.
I just met a lawyer.
I'm networking, I'm meeting newpeople, I'm learning things,
you know.
And the night goes on and onand on and turns out she's like
the town drunk, she just getsdrunker and drunker and you know
it's all in good fun.
But I just like didn't meet theright person that night and she

(42:57):
was way too extroverted for meto the point where I had to like
excuse myself and get an Uberand go.
But I was proud of myself forstrafing those lines and trying
to pass my boundaries, becauseyou never know who you meet.
I'm always jealous of thepeople who do strike up
conversations when they're inthe line at the grocery store or
they're on a plane, because thepeople that I talk to that,
take those risks.

(43:18):
They often meet superinteresting people like, oh, I
surgeon, a surgeon in germany,and um, he invited me to stay
the next time I went there.
Things like that.
I'm like okay, you learn frompeople, you make friends and you
never know who you might meet.
So sometimes it is beneficialto talk to people, like if you
have the propensity to do that.
So like taking that, applyingthat to your work life, applying

(43:39):
that to your personal life,like it could benefit both of
those things I'm proud of you.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
I'm proud of you.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
That's very nice and I've tried to do the opposite,
like there's been times whereI'm like, okay, I need to be
okay with like, actually likewith eating by myself.
I'm still not, don't get mewrong and I've definitely gone
to the restaurant like I'm gonnasit here and I'm gonna eat by
myself, and then it's not 10minutes.
I'm like I hope the waiterdidn't have other tables because
they're talking to me now.

(44:07):
I failed miserably, um, but inthe opposite direction, because
sometimes you're like, okay, Ineed to be okay with this.
I cannot be like because itseems it would seem on the
outside like an extrovert shouldbe able to walk into any
restaurant and do you know?
But the idea of sitting at thetable by yourself and not
talking to the other people andyou're looking around and you're

(44:27):
like one is the loneliestnumber.
Like and you guys are like thisis great.
I'm enjoying my meal, I'mthinking through my day and I'm
like this is awful, like I can'teven taste my food.
I need another cocktail.

Speaker 5 (44:48):
And then all of a sudden you leave and you're like
, oh, that introvert thoughtthat I was the town drunk.
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(45:09):
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Speaker 1 (45:27):
Like okay, if there's an introvert in the office
who's never part of theconversations, never includes
themselves, never introvert,right right, but like never
comes to lunch, all that kind ofstuff.
I think it's worth having thatconversation with that person
and just saying like do you notwant to come, because that's
totally okay, or do you want tobecause you can come with me,

(45:47):
you can ride with me, you know,or whatever, and like extend the
hand, you know, I just I thinkit's worth having that line of
communication at least once tounderstand that person and
understand where they're comingfrom and making sure that you're
not missing a cue as theirmanager or even as their
colleague, really, that youshould be inviting them, just
because they don't make thedecision themselves, to kind of

(46:12):
include themselves.

Speaker 2 (46:13):
But then, as the extrovert too, I'm thinking
through this right, andsomething you said was well, you
can ride with me as anextrovert.
That sounds lovely.
Right as an extrovert they'relike I'm going to charge on my
way to the restaurant I want todrive myself.
We are going to eat and I'mgoing to charge on my way back
to the office.

Speaker 5 (46:28):
I don't want to be riding with you.

Speaker 2 (46:29):
It could be.
As an extrovert you're like ismy car dirty?
Does it like what?

Speaker 3 (46:35):
Do I smell?

Speaker 2 (46:35):
Yeah, I did DO today.
But like that's something tothink about.
Of like say, hey, you know I'lldrive myself for X, Y, Z reason
and it's.
It's interesting, I don't know.
It just popped in my head oflike that would be my first
thought, Maybe often, like thatseemed like in my head.

(47:09):
As an extrovert, it seemsridiculous to ever ride in a car
by yourself.
Everyone's going like I was thefirst one on those uber shares.
No, you're like you've got twodifferent people and they pass
it on.
I'm like let's try this.
I didn't do it very oftenbecause usually it's people that
it's not the people you want tobe talking to but, I definitely
tried it out instantaneously itis a nightmare, it's a defense
mechanism, because I find myselfdoing that right.
Or in the first wave of 30people if there's 35.

Speaker 4 (47:31):
That's exactly what I started thinking when you said
that I'm like, okay, introvertsversus extroverts at a, let's
say, three-hour event.
Do you say goodbye, stacey, toa bunch of people before you
leave, or do you just bow?

Speaker 3 (47:45):
out.
It depends, okay, most of andintroverts will do that and
don't take it personally.
Sometimes they will bow out.
What is it called An Irishgoodbye?

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Yeah, I do that all the time.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
You do it oh yeah, okay, say goodbye to who is
important.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Yeah, really, but you're doing it at the very end,
you're not doing it.
Oh yeah, funny.
I'm very rarely leaving in thein the beginning.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
I really wonder if, at the end of these networking
events, if it's just theextroverts left and that's why
it gets so fun yes, I will giveyou that, that's 100 true well,
that's the the like think ofconnect right.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
Like we have a.
We have a cocktail receptionthat ends at 11 pm every night
and I'm there right up until theend.
Stacey and I are already in bedby that point, right.
But then the next morning youguys are like breakfast.
You've got your and I'm like Ineed a gallon of energy drink.

(48:38):
But I'm going to make it twokind of breakfast.

Speaker 3 (48:41):
Yeah, you made the last five minutes of breakfast.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
That counts.
That's pretty much where my andI it's just interesting to
think about of and I don't thatcould just be a me thing.
Well, if you actually weredecided like yeah, there's still
people like let's keep going,and then realizing, well, shoot,
I have another day to do so Ishould probably like there's,
there's your social battery, butthen you should like you're
genuine, like you should get sixto eight there's also also
adulting.
There's adulting and it's a hardline to dance sometimes because

(49:06):
I especially think of sales.
Right, that's my job.
My job is to talk to people andfind out what challenges are,
and half the time I can't fixthem, but I can point them in
the direction and that's part ofbuilding everything up right
and that's why being anextrovert makes me better at my
job.
But on the flip side, there'sthings I've had, I've known some

(49:27):
introverted salespeople, butthey they can go out, they can
do the thing, as long as theyhave time to recharge and they
have their own strengths andlike, yeah, they may not have
the guy for everything, but theycan deep think on this problem.
And being like let's, let'spull all of these things
together, let's whiteboard thisout, like let's da-da-da-da-da.
And then you come in and you'relike oh yeah, I was just going
to have Sean do it.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
You know, when I was younger I wouldn't understand
why anybody would want to notclose out the event.
I would have even looked at itlike my company's paying me to
be here.
So I need to take fulladvantage and maximize this.
And even to this day that'skind of a little bit how I feel.
But I don't look down on peoplewho go to bed.
I actually look up to them alittle bit, like they like well
you are all right maybe we get agold star, because I'm like you

(50:10):
know, you guys, it just feelskind of like mature that you're
like, no, I'm gonna go, I don'tmind not having fomo, but you
know, this is what I need.
I need the sleep.
Whatever, I don't usually needthe sleep because I'm completely
charged.
I swear like being social, likethat, gives me so much energy
that, like I can, I can stay atthe event until 11 at night and
then get up at 6 am and be thefirst one to breakfast the next

(50:31):
day, and I can do that maybethree or four days in a row and
I'm OK.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
Yeah, you still are always like the first one at
breakfast and I know, like youwere out late, like you'd be out
staying at these things longerthan I would be the night before
, know, like you were out late,like you'd be out staying at
these things longer than I wouldbe the night before.

Speaker 3 (50:46):
Yeah, I can appreciate that.
I mean, we work together now,and now we know exactly what our
personalities are.
So when I'm in bed at 10o'clock, I know Jackie's holding
down the fort until midnight,but she's still going to get up
and do her responsibilitiesright.
So I understand that part aboutyou, you understand that part
about me, and then we're bothbringing our best and
contributing in our own uniqueway, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
I wish I were a morning person.

Speaker 1 (51:10):
I was up this morning , like even this morning boys
trip every year.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
where 15 of us go, we get a big house Like it's a
blast.
Is that something like when youhear that?
Are you like I would ratherchop off my left foot than go
and stay in a house with 15people?

Speaker 3 (51:33):
That sounds fun.
We were literally just talkingabout this today and I think it
goes back to who do we trust?
And we also said maximum twonights do we trust?
And we also said maximum twonights.
I want to drive myself.
Yes, Introverts set boundariesRight and like this is so I love
this question.
I love this question.
It's it's a very calculateddecision that we have to make.

(51:57):
So who is going to be there?
Can I tolerate this person?
How long is there an escapeplan?
What if something goes south?
I don't want to damage myreputation with this person,
right Like.
This applies in personal andprofessional.
I'm I'm very wary of who Ispend my time with, because I
want to make sure that it's it'sproductive and that everybody's
happy.
And we talked about beingpeople pleasers.
If you're an extrovert, likeintroverts are not people

(52:20):
pleasers.
So if there's something goingon in a situation with people,
no matter where, that might belike being uncomfortable and we
want to be able to removeourselves.
So it takes a lot of thoughtand a lot of trust.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
This was a huge aha moment for me just now, because
my husband and I argue aboutthis a lot.
So he's an introvert and whenyou know a lot of times like I
have groups of friends that wantto do like a couple's trip or
something like that, and ifthere's even one person that
they he just can't tolerate orsomething like that, he just
won't want to go, I'll be likejust ignore that person.

(52:52):
What do you like?
Why are you letting thatdictate?

Speaker 4 (53:04):
about them being there.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
That is, it depletes your battery so much quicker
than any other norm like anyother human, or that you can't
be yourself in a situation,right like if you're going out
um to to a vacation, if you'regoing out to a dinner, that's a
work dinner and you want to knowwho's on the roster, if there's
someone there that maybe you'reyou're not totally into it, it
changes the way that you act inthat situation and react, and

(53:25):
that, I think, for introverts,is a problem to say do you think
that's because, like to me,that's not true?

Speaker 1 (53:29):
Like for an extrovert , because if there's somebody
who I don't get a good vibe from, or something like that, I can
just still have a great timeTalk to the other people that I
do get good vibes from, andtotally have a great time vibes
from, and totally have a greattime, and it doesn't affect me
whatsoever yeah, and I and Ijust never knew that about,
imagine it's a.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
It's a nightmare for you guys yeah, because if you're
given like overthinkers, like.
Like.
For me it's like oh yeah, justbring so and so, like whomever.
And then you show up and you'relike this was not the list I
was given yeah, and I'm likeawesome new friends and you guys
are like this was not the list.

Speaker 3 (54:02):
Yes, that was the other thing I read.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
I will pick every one I'll be like on the way in.
I'm like did y'all want to justsit with us?

Speaker 4 (54:08):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
I didn't think about it until just now, Like how
miserable that must be for anintrovert.
Yes, and not the list.

Speaker 4 (54:14):
Because you don't have the facts, you don't know
the details, you didn't havetime to plan, to playing this
out, that's where you get tomeet them all.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Oh, new facts, best friends.

Speaker 3 (54:24):
The internet said that introverts ask what if and
extroverts ask what is.

Speaker 1 (54:31):
Wait, you gotta say that again.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
Introverts ask what if we want to know what all the
circumstances are?
Who's going to be there?
What's going to occur?
What's the schedule?

Speaker 1 (54:39):
What's the structure?
Like all of the possibilitiesand all of the situations in
your head and extroverts justask what is, what is it?

Speaker 3 (54:46):
I'm gonna dive right in that's the difference.

Speaker 1 (54:49):
I can totally see that.
Yeah, we kind of like deal withit whatever it is.

Speaker 2 (54:54):
We just, we'll adapt, we'll roll with the punches and
like get moving yeah, fly, andyou guys are a little bit more.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
You know you want your trusted circle because what
could?

Speaker 2 (55:03):
happen, calculated that I need to know.
Interesting.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
I could see that.
So how does that play out in aprofessional world?

Speaker 4 (55:12):
I think this is where you have your major learning,
growing, adapting as you gothrough your career.
I mean, as Stacey said, her andI are both in roles that
require extroverts and extrovertpersonalities, and you know,

(55:34):
having these bigger discussions,following up on emails, being
on stage, and you have to, justlike extroverts, have to learn
how to, when to turn it downwhen it's appropriate.
You know we also have to learnand grow and adapt and I think
you, you know, if you careenough, you get better with that

(55:57):
as you go through your careerand then you have your little
time inside of it and then youhave your little time inside of
it.

Speaker 3 (56:05):
Yeah, we all professionally, we all have our
own circles that we run in,people that we identify with,
that we've become friends with.
We ask business questions too.
We learn and we grow with.
I think over time those grow,but we we take more caution or
more care as to when we turnthings up into the more
extroverted realm.
It just takes us a little bitlonger to get there than the

(56:27):
extrovert and the extrovertswould.

Speaker 4 (56:30):
Yeah, you know your comment about the list, like
who's on the list and don'tchange the list, kind of thing.
Like I especially if I don'tknow if it's a conference that
I'm not perhaps commonly at Iscope out the attendee list
because I kind of look for mysafe zone, whether that's at a
conference or who my you knowsafe zone is at work, who my

(56:53):
safe zone is in a socialenvironment.
I kind of I know that then Ican gravitate towards that
person if I need at least abalance to try and basically
charge through that situation.
And so for me, yeah, that listis really, really important and

(57:15):
don't just disappear off thatlist.
If you were the one that I wascounting on, I didn't even think
about that.

Speaker 1 (57:20):
That's such a huge one.

Speaker 2 (57:21):
I feel like I often overbook myself, like I have to
be in four places today.
And I remember we were gettingready to go to dinner and I
remember thinking, oh, I shouldjust go grab like 10 other
people because, like, we need abig group.
And I remember looking over atyou and we'd ask one person.
You were like, well, I guess wecan just go go.

(57:42):
And it was in that moment thatI'm dreaming like, okay, yeah,
the two of us is perfect, likeget the cue.
It's not that I and I I wondersometimes if, like, I caught on
to that right, but in your headis it a space of like, why do
you need the other people, am Inot?
Like, do you not want to talkto me at dinner?

(58:02):
Is that why you need 15 otherpeople?
And it's like, for me, it'sjust like I'm a more the merrier
, like yeah we.
That way, 15 differentconversations can be happening
at the table.
Where are you?
Like I, it is having aconversation with me not
fulfilling enough.
Is that something that youthink about?

Speaker 4 (58:16):
I don't know that's a good question.
At one point I maybe kind ofthought that, but I think it
kind of goes back to the growing, the learning, adapting aspect,
um.
But so, like it doesn't, Idon't think that now, um, but
yeah, early when I was younger Iwould say that it's like, well,
I'm like can't you, and I justtalk so what are your guys's

(58:39):
biggest takeaways from today?
Everyone's looking at me, so soI guess I'm going to go first.
So for me, I think it's the factthat we don't always know
whether people are actuallyintroverts or extroverts, even
with our best guesses, becauseI've got to keep going back.
Matt, you brought it up first.
It's how you recharge yourbattery.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
What about you, Matt?

Speaker 2 (59:02):
I think for mine it's constantly being perceptive of.
You know, people aren't usuallyout to be mean, blunt isn't
mean, um, and it's somethingthat you have to learn, uh, over
time, and I think thatthroughout all of this that was
something that kept coming back,was like it's really easy to

(59:23):
internalize when an introvertneeds that moment to themselves
and as an extrovert, I don't anddone this to you Honestly,
don't answer that, but when Iinvite somebody to dinner and
without checking with them first.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
Other people are looking for dinner buddies, and
I want them to feel included too, so I invite you know, I end up
inviting three more people whoweren't on Megan's list, who

(59:55):
knows?
So I think that that'ssomething that I need to be
aware of.
That could be a littletriggering for introverts.
You know that they have thislist in their head and for me to
just go against it withoutchecking with them, and my
biggest takeaway is that beingan introvert is not an automatic
write-off, which is good.

Speaker 3 (01:00:16):
Hiring introverts is probably a really positive thing
in the workplace, but, moreimportantly, the balance of
introverts and extroverts in theworkplace.
It sounds like a lot of us feelmore balanced when we have one
of each other to work with, sothat's a takeaway both
personally and professionallyfor me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Love that Good one.
Okay, so let's do takeaways.
Introverts what is somethingthat you learned about
extroverts?
And then extroverts what issomething that you learned today
about introverts?

Speaker 4 (01:00:43):
oh, for me it was the feelings I did not think it
would like.

Speaker 2 (01:00:48):
It was easy to hurt your feelings surprise maybe,
but maybe at your level, but I Itotally see that point of of
how it can be interpreted by usjust saying I need to bow out,
like I like you, but goodbye Ithink mine is, um, right up to

(01:01:14):
the end of what we were talkingabout was the when you come with
a completed idea, being carefulabout challenging it because
you've put so much energy thatthat collaboration in my head
seems like, oh, this is thenatural next step, like let's
flesh this out, and you're likeI already did that, and being
careful about not diving in toodeep and not thinking about it

(01:01:38):
first.
But knowing that you've put somuch thought into it because
it's not the way that I wouldhave done it, and knowing that
you guys come with a fullthought and come with it all
kind of done, is something thatI hadn't realized and kind of
thought through.

Speaker 3 (01:01:50):
When I'm in a collaborative environment or
when I'm challenging things,doing it in a way that's a bit
more sensitive, if that makessense if that makes sense, and
as an introvert, my biggesttakeaway from the extroverts
today was that having moreextroverts in my circle can
compliment me.

(01:02:10):
So in areas where I'm moreuncomfortable I could lean on my
extroverted contacts or friendsin the industry to help me
expand my network, to help getme out of my comfort zone, to do
more things, but not overextendmyself, but be an extension of
me through our connections.
Yeah, that's a good one.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
I think mine was around when we talked about how
I might consider a friend afriend before an introvert might
, and I think that that actuallyis a bit of an aha moment for
me when it comes to people thatreally look at quality over
quantity, more of like anintrovert, birded way of looking
at it versus you know, the morethe merrier.

(01:02:51):
So I would quickly considersomebody one of my friends
without having to test thatfirst.

Speaker 3 (01:02:57):
Trust no one, just kidding, be weird.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
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(01:03:23):
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