The Art of Small Talk

Unlock the secrets of small talk and transform your networking skills with actionable insights from sales experts Andrew Steczo, Director of Sales at Motorad, and Zenata Perez, Global Head of Sales at Sensata Technologies. Learn how to keep conversations flowing, approach strangers with ease, and find genuine connection points that can lead to unexpected opportunities. Hear personal anecdotes and practical tips that illustrate the power of these seemingly trivial interactions in both personal and professional settings.

Discover the art of creating connections through shared interests like sports, hobbies, and even virtual backgrounds during video calls. We explore how casual compliments, strategic positioning, and staying observant of your surroundings can facilitate meaningful conversations. Whether it's through noticing someone's attire or integrating personal items into your environment, these techniques can open doors to networking and business possibilities, showcasing the importance of being genuine and attentive in your interactions.

Finally, embrace curiosity, patience, and adaptability to master small talk and networking. From asking engaging questions to pre-event research, this episode provides strategies to navigate social interactions effectively. We share inspiring stories of transformation, practical advice for both introverts and extroverts, and tips on setting achievable goals. You can significantly boost your networking skills and confidence, seizing everyday opportunities to connect with others in our post-pandemic world.

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To learn more about the Auto Care Association visit autocare.org.

To learn more about our show and suggest future topics and guests, visit autocare.org/podcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to Auto Care On Air, a candid podcast for a
curious industry.
I'm Jackie Lutz, ContentDirector at the Auto Care
Association, and this is CarpoolConversations, where we
collaborate on today's mostrelevant power skills.
We are all headed in the samedirection, so let's get there
together.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
So I was gonna.
I have to tell you about thisjoke.
Jc said oh god, I told him Iwas doing a podcast about small
talk and I was giving it, liketelling him some of the tips
that Z said on our pre-meeting.
And he, in the middle of theconversation, goes do you know
how much?
Or do you know how much a whaleweighs?
And I just like laughed.
I'm like that was random.
I didn't even answer, I justlaughed.
And he goes no, do you know howmuch a whale weighs?
And I'm like, no, am I supposedto know how much a whale weighs

(01:01):
?
And he goes enough to break theice.
I'm like that's such a good one.
Welcome to Carpool Conversations.
Today we're talking about smalltalk, and this topic came from
a previous episode that we didabout introverts and extroverts,
and in that episode theintroverts mentioned multiple

(01:21):
times that they basically hatesmall talk.
They hate every part of it.
They don't know what to say,they don't know how to start it,
they don't know how to keep itgoing.
So we had a lot of feedbackthat that was kind of a and not
necessarily just for introverts,but that was a common thing in
our audience on LinkedIn wasthat you know, small talk is

(01:42):
difficult for some people.
So I did a survey a while backand asked what was the most
difficult part for people withsmall talk and I had 21% of
people mentioned justapproaching a stranger is really
difficult.
They don't know how to do it.
26% said how to keep it going.
So once you get small talk, youknow once you, once you

(02:04):
approach a stranger and then youkind of start small talk, how
do you keep it going, Keep themengaged?
34% said um, finding realconnection points in that small
talk is really difficult.
And then 17% of them justlacked interest in general in
small talk and I found thatreally interesting and what I
loved was the caliber of peoplethat were answering the survey.

(02:25):
You know we had CEOs andpresidents also answering the
survey.
So it's not just a young peoplething.
I don't think it's just anintrovert thing.
I think it's just some peoplestruggle with small talk.
So when I get it right, I get itright, I have the two most
chattiest people I could thinkof You're talking about
introverts, the two biggestextroverts probably right so the

(02:45):
opposite end of the spectrumbut I have andrew setzo,
director of sales with motor, adwelcome welcome, glad to be
here yep, uh, sales guys, soobviously nice and chatty, uh.
And then zanita perez I alsocall her z um, but she's the
global head of sales for sensatatechnologies and uh literally
has the nickname of chatty Kathyat work.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
And it was interesting.
I was telling Jackie last nightand we were at dinner and
talking about it and I was, likeyou know, very rarely I'm a
chatty guy, of course, like veryrarely am I like, oh my gosh,
like this person's a talker.
But when I said that I said.
I was like dude.
He took my breath away therefor a minute.
I was like I had to give herthe crown right so.
But you know kind of takes oneto know one sort of thing.

(03:27):
So it was, it was wellappreciated.

Speaker 5 (03:29):
I'll take it as a compliment.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Absolutely as you should, as you should.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
So I would love to just start out because I think
lacking interest in small talkis really interesting.
So obviously you have to startsomewhere, and part of it is
just being curious about peoplein general and I would love to
just get your guys' thoughts onsmall talk where it's taken you
in your life, why it's important, why people should entertain
the idea of getting better atsmall talk.

Speaker 5 (03:57):
Okay, I'll start, thank you.
So I mean obviously it comesvery natural to me.
I mean obviously it comes verynatural to me, but I think, just
I've been in interestingsituations where small talk is
just I've met amazing people.
I've had opportunities toactually met a really good
friend of mine.
We were in line together and,you know, in a long line

(04:17):
chatting and I ended up in herwedding.
It's very random, I know, Iknow.
One conversation six monthslater she's like hey, do you fit
in this bridesmaid's dress?
So, but it's just reallyinteresting scenarios, and one
of the things that I kind ofthink back to and kind of
today's time is Uber, right, soare you the kind of person that

(04:39):
gets in the car and just ridesto the airport or ride, you know
, takes your your destinationand are you chatting up the Uber
driver?
And obviously I'm chatting upthe Uber driver.
So so I'm somebody who'sgetting in the Uber and I'm, you
know, hey, how's your day going?
You know, do you do this fulltime?
I always kind of try tounderstand because I find it's

(05:00):
interesting.
Most people I live in LA and wetake lots of Ubers and most
people have like a second job orhave a second career.
So you're finding all theseinteresting things out about
people.
But really quick story I'm inPanama for work and I order an
Uber and this really nice carrolls up like a BMW seven series
and I was like I don't thinkthat's my Uber and the guy at

(05:24):
the Marriott's, like the valet,he goes, I think that's your
Uber.
So I check the plate and I getin the car and this man's really
kind, he's.
You know, we're chatting on theway to the.
It's like a 45 minute drive tothe airport and I did.
I said to him I go.
I got to say something likewhen you came up in a seven
series, cause been in Panama forthe week and you're not seeing
these kinds of cars.
So, um, and it's funny, inPanama you can put Uber or Uber

(05:47):
English.
So I did Uber English and youpay a dollar more.
Well, so I'm laughing and Isaid you know, this was the
first time I did Uber English.
And then this you know, he goes.
Well, he's like I own a bunchof Uber cars.
So he started telling me thisstory about how, in Panama, most
of the drivers will rent theircars.
And I'm like, oh, okay, that'svery cool.
So this is like he goes.
Yeah, so he goes.

(06:07):
So I just I own the company.
And then I have like five carsand the drivers rent the cars
and today I felt like driving.
I'm like, okay, so we'retalking and he's asking me about
my life, and then he tells medid you go to the Panama Canal?
And I was like, yeah, I did thetour.
He goes did you do the tourwhere you're like on the boat
with the monkeys?
And I said, oh, my gosh, no,that sounds amazing.
I don't remember that.

(06:34):
I was like I don't rememberthat.
Yeah.
So he says, well, look up mytour company.
Um, next time you're in thePanama, you know, I'll treat you
and your friends to a tour.
I'm like, okay, cool, you getto.
Okay, wait, wait, wait.
He's like this is my name, butwhen you Google my name, you're
going to see something.

Speaker 3 (06:46):
Oh boy.
And so I'm like, okay, I seesomething.

Speaker 5 (06:49):
Right.
So I'm thinking, I'm thinkinglike and this guy's got a nice
car, like what am I?
What is this?
And he's like no, no, no,google my name.
So I Google his name and IGoogled the tour company and it
says that he ran for president.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
And I'm like wait a minute you ran for president.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
He goes yeah, just in the last election I was like
the runner up and I'm like, whyare you driving Uber?
And he goes, because sometimesI want to know what the people
think.
And he's like, and next timeI'm going to win.
And so then we connected onFacebook and literally his like.
On Facebook.
It says you know, formerpresidential candidate of Panama
, nicest guy ever.
I said no one's ever going tobelieve this.
When we get out of the car, Igot to take a selfie with you.

(07:34):
So I took a selfie with him andhe was laughing.
He goes you're hilarious.
And he said but you know what?
Most people don't get that outof me in a 45 minute ride to the
airport.

Speaker 4 (07:44):
And he goes.

Speaker 5 (07:44):
I said, unless, of course, cause the local
Panamanians are not taking theUber.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
Right, right, they're driving.

Speaker 5 (07:55):
So they wouldn't know Right.
So it was just again very funnyrandom story, but would not
have happened if I didn't engagein small talk.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
No, and I think I think that's a great point and
you know we kind of discussed iton our pre-flight.
You know, uber is anopportunity whether it be 45
minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutesto have a conversation with
someone you'll probably neversee again in your life.
You know what I mean.
You can ask them questions,like I said, do you do this full
time?
Do you have other jobs?

(08:19):
And, to your point, I take alot of Ubers as well.
It's usually rarely is it a sidebusiness or this that you know
some sort of side hustle orwhatever, but it's a great way
just to talk to people and youknow the small talk kind of
getting back to that.
I think it's just being curiousat the end of the day, right,
like just being curious aboutsomeone else, and you know,
asking questions, that's reallywhat it comes down to, right?
I think you and I are naturallycurious when it comes to people
, and a lot of extroverts areright, they're very kind of

(08:42):
curious people and you know, Ithink at the heart of it, you
know, after we all spoke lastweek, I've been thinking a lot
about it, like that's it, right.
It's questions, right.
It comes down to asking peoplequestions, right.
And then he said well, okay,well, I drive, you know, and
sometimes you get a one-worddriving.
What do you mean by that?

(09:02):
Right, so you keep askingquestions keep trying to draw
out further conversations.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
So for somebody who maybe isn't naturally curious
about people, how would yourecommend that they become more
curious about people?

Speaker 5 (09:18):
So I think I think, first of all, I think everyone
is interesting, even introvertswho may think they're not
interesting.
Right, I'm sure they have astory, I'm sure they have
something in their life and mostpeople, like introverts, won't
necessarily want to talk aboutthemselves.
So back to Andrew's point askquestions and the whole

(09:40):
curiosity killed the cat kind ofthing.
Like find ways to engage.
You talked about connectionpoints earlier, so I think the
biggest way to build thatconnection point is to find a
common interest.
So some of the things that likeI do, for example, if I'm
trying to break the ice andtrust me, some people are hard,
some people are really hard, andI kind of find it a challenge

(10:04):
because I'm so chatty.
But I'm thinking I'm gonna getanybody to chat and so I'll try
with a few things like I didthis this is a funny story too.
I was trying to do businesssomebody and I asked him a
couple questions and I could notbreak the ice.
And so then I said, well, whatare you watching on Netflix
right now?
And that like changedeverything.
He was super into shows, andthen he goes oh well, I'm

(10:26):
watching this.
And then all of a sudden, likehe just wanted to talk about TV
shows and that's fine with me Ifthat's kind of the it worked.
I mean, I have a filmbackground but I was, but it was
.
It was just kind of a funnything finding that interest
Cause sometimes you can trysports, you can try cooking.
Do you like to cook?
You know I also do this one.
Do you have any plans forvacation?

(10:47):
Where are you going?

Speaker 3 (10:48):
It's a good one.
Timing, like, do you haveanything for Christmas break,
for summer, for Thanksgiving,right?
Depending on the timing, likeyou know, obviously, vegas is a
little before things, so there's, you know, natural breaks in
there.
But I think, too, like to thatend, like everyone is passionate
about something, right, even ifthey're an introvert.
You just got to find to yourpoint is it, you know, hunting?
Is it cooking?
Is it Netflix?

(11:08):
Is it, what is it?
And you know, getting gettingto that line of questioning, but
even the most introvertedperson, if you hit that, that
passion button, if you will,they will just that shell, just
open up, right.
And we've all had people wherewe thought, you know, I didn't
think this guy was going to giveme any words and all of a
sudden they're telling you aboutthis and that One guy's a

(11:29):
woodworker and all the thingshe's built and these things or
whatever.
Everyone has a passion,regardless of your personality
type.
Everyone's passionate aboutsomething.
It's.
How do we get there, right?
How do we find that?

Speaker 5 (11:39):
And to that point, that's what makes you
interesting too, though.

Speaker 3 (11:41):
Oh, absolutely.

Speaker 5 (11:42):
Because your passion.
I mean, some people, like yousaid, are into woodworking and
maybe it's somebody you wouldhave never suspected, and you're
like, oh, wow, can you show mesome of the things you've made,
or whatever?
And then they'll start bringingup pictures.
And that's what builds thetrust too, though, because then
they're like okay, I like thisperson, I feel comfortable
talking about my passion, you, Ifeel comfortable talking about

(12:04):
my passion.
You know, it kind of breaks.
I feel like it goes beyondbreaking the ice.
It helps to that turning thatpoint of building the trust and
that, okay, I, you're allowingme to talk about something I
love, I'm passionate about, sonow I'm more comfortable talking
to you about not just this.
Then it can lead into otherconversations, whether it's for
business or school or whateverthe purpose of that is.

(12:27):
For me, sometimes it's justinteresting people.
I mean, my background's alittle bit different.
Before automotive, I went tofilm school and had a completely
different background.
So I'm a writer, so I alwayswant to.
For me, it's about learningcharacters.
right, we're all characters inour own story, but we're all
characters so fine and there'sso many people I've met in life

(12:48):
where I'm like, oh my gosh, Igot to write this down.
They're going to be in my bookor they're going to be in my
movie, cause that's like thatwas the craziest personality, or
just story.

Speaker 3 (12:57):
Yeah, and I think and I think we talked about this
too like in this environmentspecifically you know, we
mentioned this on our callbefore like you know, what do
you do when you're not workingon the auto parts business?
What do you?
You're not at leadership days,right.
But then a follow-up question.
I thought more about this.
My next question usually is andif you don't tease, you know
that out of them or maybe youget a one word answer like, oh,
I like to go fishing.

(13:17):
I'm like, well, you a car guy orgal, right, cause there are a
lot of us.
You know, I became, like Iwasn't naturally a, you know, uh
, I didn't grow up working oncars and now I enjoy it and I've
learned a lot in my time in theindustry.
But you know, so that's acouple of easy.
You know car guys and gals thatyou know on the weekends are,
you know, busting knuckles andfixing, which is great and in

(13:39):
love, and they're verypassionate about it and I've
learned a lot from them as well.
But I think in this you knowenvironment, those are a couple
of easy questions.
You know you can ask peoplethat you know kind of help them
open up and you know, and thenyou get the one word answer and
I usually they give you oh, whatdo you like to do?
You know, I'll say you know, Ilove sports.
I love, you know, going to thelake.
I try to name multiple things,hoping that I catch a fish,

(14:04):
right, hoping that I hit onsomething that resonates with
them, like, oh, you like to boat, oh, I have a boat.
And then, like you know, andthen we start talking about
boats or whatever the case maybe.
So, um, it was, it was kind ofand you know, for the listeners
out there, we had a, we had apre-flight meeting and you know
we had.
I have a very busy backgroundin my office, my home office,
and but there's no shortage ofconversations and I thought
about it and we're using a lotof virtual backgrounds and I was

(14:25):
like that's an opportunity thatwe're missing, right?
So a lot of people have thesefake virtual backgrounds and
there's an opportunity lostthere, Like that, the fact you
and I us three talked for 10minutes about my night suit and
my Michael Jordan jersey, andwhatever else is in my
background, right.
So I think, like there'ssomething there, right, and we
do a lot of Zoom callspost-pandemic, you know, I would
encourage people to.

(14:46):
You know, put some flavor inyour background, right, if
you're into guitars or whatever,put something that talks about
you in the background, wheresomeone can say, hey, that's a
cool painting or that's a cooljersey in the background.
That's where someone can say,hey, that's a cool painting or
that's a cool jersey, or what doyou have on the wall?
Or you play an instrument, yeah, or you play guitar, right, and
so it just allows for naturalconversation, right, the
icebreakers it helps you withbreaking the ice and it's there

(15:08):
and it's a visual.
So I don't know, it's justsomething I was thinking about
and would encourage listeners to.
Maybe, if you can encouragelisteners to to you know, maybe
if you can.
Again, obviously, your virtualbackgrounds are appropriate in
certain environments, but ifyou're at home or you're at your
office, like, do something withthat background, right.
Well, what's in your background?
What are people going?

Speaker 5 (15:24):
to see.
That's a good point.
You can break ice as if you'rein an office.
I always.
That's your point.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
You're in somebody's office, I look for know.

Speaker 5 (15:36):
You know and I'm like , oh, is that like you know?
Thailand, I've never been there.
I have been there.
I had this great experience.
Or if you see something like agolf ball or something, oh, do
you golf?
Is that like you know?
Is that your kind of hobby thatyou do on the weekend, are you?
Are you good?
What you know?
What's you know?
Asking him questions, are youlying?
My dad used to have this shirt.
It was hilarious.
It said uh, early to bed, earlyto rise, fish all day and

(15:59):
makeup lies.
I threw it back.

Speaker 3 (16:02):
Yeah, they say a golf is a game where the ball lies
poorly, but the player well, ah,I like that.

Speaker 5 (16:11):
So, but no that's a really good point.
He kind of you know you seguedinto what I was about to say is
that when I go to people'soffices I try to look for
something.
Or even if you're going to likelunch with them and you hop in
their car and they're going todrive you to you know you'll,
their music comes on right andyou're like oh, are you a fan of
the Eagles, are you a fan ofwhatever?
But now in this virtual world,everyone's using these virtual

(16:35):
backgrounds.
So that's actually a really,really good point.
So I think for an introvertthat's a great piece of advice.
Like, put something that kindof shows who you are.

Speaker 3 (16:44):
Or multiple things.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah, absolutely it's kind of like giving people
hints on how to start small talkwith you, right, and actually I
get a lot of that with mybackground, my bookshelf Because
, like you know, when I actuallysee someone in real life who
just saw me on LinkedIn, they'realways be like is that a real
background?
Cause it's just a prettybookshelf and you don't really
see that very often, but that'sbeen kind of a conversation
starter for me.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
Let's see in real life.
They didn't know you had legs.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
They usually don't know I'm this short.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
We're all the same size on Zoom.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
So, um, I had a I you know I don't consider myself an
introvert.
I don't think it's justintroverts that that really
struggle with small talk.
Um, I think I'm more of a mixof the two, but I went.
I was surprised at myself.
I went to a podcast conferencetwo weeks ago and I shocked
myself with how shy I was, likeeveryone seemed like they knew
each other.
I'm usually going toconferences in the industry
where I know people and I, youknow I can find friends.

Speaker 5 (17:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
But you know, at this conference I didn't know anyone
, no one knew me and they allknew each other, and it was just
really hard for me to like youknow was it specifically for
podcasters or how many peopleattended?
Um well, I don't know the Iprobably I'd say like 300, yeah,
something like that.
Um, good size.
And you know, obviously we allhave one thing in common it's

(18:02):
podcast.
So it seems like it was easyenough to you know, start up
small talk.
But I really surprised myselfat how um shy I was and I just
could not seem to approachpeople.
I couldn't figure out how tolike work my way in there.
I ate ate by myself, you know,in my hotel room.
I found friends the third night,you know, the third day I had.

(18:26):
I found dinner, partners andstuff and that was awesome.
But, um, I think, approachingstrangers, I mean that was first
time in a while that I foundthat actually very difficult.

Speaker 5 (18:35):
So how did you do it in the end Cause the first day
you were intimidated and youwere like, oh no, I don't know
anybody.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, they had like a meetup.
So like the meetups were kindof organized into groups that
you have something in common.
So mine was a business podcast,so I went to that one and one
of the guys who introducedthemselves had just written a
book about personal branding.

Speaker 5 (18:57):
Oh, and you're passionate about that?
Yeah, and he does a lot ofpublic speaking about it and
stuff.

Speaker 2 (19:01):
So afterwards I went up to him and said hey, I would
love to connect with you.
I bought his book and I waslike I'm trying to do the
personal branding circuit too,so I would love to connect with
you.
And so then he introduced me toall his friends and buddies.
So you know, I actually had agroup that night, which was
really nice, but I didn't have aconnection point right until
that point no, I think that'sgood, but but it goes back to my

(19:24):
like, what do you do whenyou're not auto parts?

Speaker 3 (19:25):
like I would say the same thing in that environment,
like what are you doing whenyou're not podcasting?
Like, obviously we're all herefor a podcast, of course we're
at it.
What do you do when you're notrecording episodes or whatever
you you know, and so you cankind of insert whatever to
whatever environment you're in.

Speaker 5 (19:37):
Right, that's a great question.
It's a good icebreaker.

Speaker 3 (19:40):
I mean, it's just what, wherever you're at, why
are you there?
You're all there for a reason.
And then insert what do you dowhen you're not here?
Or doing this, right, and thatcan be used anywhere, anytime.
And like you security line withsomeone at the airport, like
you know they're going somewhereand you know, are they dressed
like they're going to a footballgame?
They got a jersey on, are they,you know, in a three-piece suit

(20:01):
, you know?
So there's, there's differentclues, like if they were wearing
Michael Jordan, you'd be likeJordan.
Yes, it's a huge thing, it's amulti-billion dollar industry,
and so, you know, I'm a Jordanfan, grew up outside of Chicago,
I have Jordans myself.
So if I see a nice pair ofJordans, I'm going to comment.

(20:21):
I mean, whether it's on thestreet, I'll just say, hey, nice
J's.

Speaker 5 (20:33):
And not say another word to this person.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
So again To men, women whoever?

Speaker 5 (20:35):
Yep, all the time, and when you compliment somebody
, it's already kind of breakinga barrier and a wall.
So I mean, if I see somebodyand I think they're out, what
did I do today?
I walked up I said Jackie, Ilike your pants, you know.

Speaker 3 (20:46):
I mean I'll tell people hey, I love that jacket,
I love your earrings, you havegreat hair, Sure, sure, yeah, it
could be anything and I think,as long as you know, you're kind
of genuine about it and peoplelike oh, thank you.
And like oh, you know, net,we'll start talking you know I
was like, oh, those are the?
those are the last year of thechampionship.
I saw this guy at a gas station.
He had the Jordans on.

(21:12):
We got into a five minuteconversation about Jordan's but
he was passionate about it,right, and I just said, hey, I,
like you know, I love those J'sand um so do you have this big
collection of Jordan's?
I do not, I do have a collectionno no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

(21:34):
no, no, no, yeah, yeah.
But I think, at the heart ofthat, to your compliment, and
even looking at the wall insomeone's office, that's kind of
an old sales adage, right, likewhatever's on their wall, talk
about it.
Which is true.
Is it a fish?
Is it a golf ball?
Is it a NASCAR picture?
Whatever, it is right.

Speaker 5 (21:50):
You find out they have kids.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are you?

Speaker 3 (21:52):
doing it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are you doing?
It's probably summertime, yougo anywhere, you have big plans,
but I think it's being, youknow, kind of pay attention to
your surroundings and workingwith you.
Know the hand, you're dealtright, right, so is it okay if
you're in an airport?
I really only have them right.
So it's either their outfit orsomething.
There's not a wall for me tolook at and figure out, right,
and then oftentimes tag on theirbag that says their, you know

(22:14):
their company, or they've got anemblem and I myself wear, you
know, the motorrad, my motorradshirt everywhere I go like if
I'm traveling for work.
I wear my shirt all the time,you know?
First of all, they pay for it,so I don't have to.
Secondly, um, you don't have tothink about what to pack.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
Yes, and, uh like, steve japp is always wearing the
same thing every day.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
It's easy, it's easy but I think so many people like
have came up to me and thishappened to me just recently,
very specific to our industry.
I was standing in line inAtlanta at the airport and I had
a Motorrad shirt on and, uh,this lady behind me she goes,
hey, motorrad, I know Motorrad.
And I'm like, oh, you do.
And I was like, how do you knowMotorrad?
And she's like, well, you know,I work for Mighty.
Uh, you know, I'm the directorof training.
We exchange business cards like, oh, are you here in Atlanta,

(22:53):
right, and so you know a lot.
I get like, oh, you're here inAtlanta, random, right, and so
you know.
I get like what is Motorrad?
Or who is Motorrad?
or you know just a little wordon my shirt.
So, you know, I encouragepeople, you know my team,
whatever I was like wear thatstuff out there.
You never know who you're goingto run into right, and it could
be a customer that, or someoneyou wanted to meet, or with a
company that're trying to get inwith it could be on the

(23:15):
elevator with you and you haveno idea, that's true.
And you, by you wearing that,like okay, they might know the
name, or maybe you're involved,obviously your badge, you know
it would show that too.
But, um, I've had numeroustimes where people have just
been like, hey, what's motor ad?
You know, and I'm going torespond back off, you know.
And then here we are off andrunning, right, but it's really

(23:38):
like paying attention to yoursurroundings, right, it's like.
It's like what clues are there?
Can you use the shoes?
Can you, if you're in theoffice, use that, right?
And then also, I'm also a fanof of you know doing background.
I know we said there in the,the online poll, that you know
people making this connection,right.
So, like, do your homeworkright.
Like, if you're trying to getconnect with somebody, talk with

(23:59):
someone else about this person,I'm sure you know, it's like
six degrees of separation kindof thing.
Right, all of us know somebodyright.
Or one of your close friendsknows somebody that knows this
person right.
And what are they into?
Are they a golfer, Are they ahunter, Are they a fish?
So you can be resourceful inthat aspect and you don't have
to necessarily fly blind.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Right, you can't just run like hey I heard you like
you know hunting or whatever.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
But you know you can use that appropriately timed
once you kind of break the iceand get in there.
So you know I think it leadsback to curiosity, but but again
, you know you can, you can kindof do a little background fact
checking, you know, and get someinformation from folks that may
be helpful in a conversationand get some information from
folks that may be helpful in aconversation.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
I think I always feel like I'd be bothering somebody.
So I always wait, like if it's.
If I'm in a situation wherethere's just, like you know,
people I could go up and talk to.
You know, we're like allsitting around waiting for at
our gate or something like that,yes, I could strike up a
conversation with the personnext to me, but what if they
don't really want to talk toanybody you know?
So I would be very warm ifsomebody small talked with me.

(24:58):
But I don't, you know, I kind ofwait for them to do that.
Like you know, I take the cuefrom them.
It's kind of like when I get ona team's call, I wait to see do
they have the camera on or not?
If they do, I'll turn it on, ifthey don't, I'll let you go.
So like I just wait for thecues from other people and I
think that that it's.
You know.
I don't know if that's anintroverted thing, I don't know
what it is, but I think that'spartially why it's difficult and

(25:21):
I don't know if I'm the onlyone out there, but it's
difficult to start small talkwith strangers, because I just
don't want to bother anybodynetworking room and a room where
there's a networking event andthere's these tables.

Speaker 5 (25:43):
Right, we're standing tables, you'll.
Usually they have a cocktailhour.
So I'll go grab a cocktail, aglass of wine or something and
then I'll take it over to atable and say do you mind if I
put my drink down here for aminute?
And then I can start engaginganother do a temperature check,
right.
If they're like no, our table'sfull, yeah, can't sit here.
Yeah, then on to the next table.
But I think another great areathen at that point is obviously
introducing yourself.
Well, thanking them,introducing yourself, and then

(26:06):
I'll look at their badge wherethey're from, right.
So if they're from where I'mfrom LA, then we'll oh, what
part of LA do you live in?
I live in LA.
And then you start talking.
Or if they're from a town I'venever heard of, I'm like where
is that?
Like, what major city would benext to this, your town?
You know that.

Speaker 4 (26:22):
I would know.

Speaker 5 (26:22):
And it kind of just starts because I think that's
always a good one too, becausepeople do feel comfortable
talking about where they live.
It's their environment.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
Yeah, it's an easy conversation.

Speaker 5 (26:34):
Tell me a little bit about where you're from.
Like, I never heard that thistown is it?
You know?
Where is it?
What's major city is it near?
Are there mountains?
Are there, like, what kind ofactivities?
Um, and that's just me beingcurious, cause I love travel,
but I think there's just certainlittle things that people can
try that are not so scary.
And again, it's payingattention to your environment,

(26:55):
like looking at their badge andsaying where are you from?

Speaker 3 (26:57):
So I think like the airport where you're headed
right when are you headed when?

Speaker 2 (26:59):
are you going?

Speaker 5 (26:59):
So it's a simple couple of words, right or on the
plane.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
Yep, on the plane, you know you're stuck with this
person for hour or hours maybe,um, you know, again pay
attention to those details.
But you know being in asituation where, um, you know
there are going to be people intimes and again that you might
try to strike up a conversationand they're, you know, not
giving you eye contact or favor.
If you're looking down at theircomputer it might not be the
best opportunity.

(27:22):
You might want to move on right, Like like I'm going to pass on
this one, you know.
And so, um, you know, justagain reading the room, so to
speak, or reading the person andpaying attention to those
details, and like there arepeople that are probably trying
to bust out a bunch of emailsbefore they get on the flight
and don't want to talk to youright so don't try to, don't try
to force it, right.
So.
So, and that's kind of likejackie and I were talking a
little bit about it last nightdinner is like it has to be

(27:43):
organic.
Yes, right, so you can't forceanything.
And you know, and ultimatelysay we first met at Apex and I
really wanted to meet Z fromSensata but we only had two or
three minutes.
But I got to know you fromCalifornia and you used to go to
.
I got these two tidbits but wedidn't really have a full blown

(28:03):
conversation.
Okay, well, I got to run tothis dinner, you got to.
Okay, well, we exchanged carsand we run off Right every time
at the plate.
Right, singles are okay too,right, singles and doubles.
And hit those singles, hitthose doubles.
You know I'm using sportsanalogies here as a sports guy.
But you get it.
You get my point.
I think everyone wouldunderstand that and take that.
And so next time I'm like oh Z,tell me more.

(28:23):
I know the last time we got cutoff.
I had to run a meeting use again.
Like I think, like even I wasthinking about, like you're not
gonna hit a home run every time,right, and there will be times
where you know you meet someonerandomly and you end up talking
for 45 minutes, like we weretalking about, you know,
pre-fight last week, right, andthat will happen.
But you know, oftentimesthere's going to be like a close
and exit, you know, and thenyou could, if you want to, you

(28:46):
know, re-engage the conversation, exchange information, but you,
um, you know that it's abuilding block right for your
next conversation.
So I think I think that'simportant too.
Right is is is don't.
Small talk is great andespecially cuz I think a lot of
people are focused online islike hot.
They want to make theconnection right, the one that
they want to rush.
Don't, don't rush it, don't,don't rush the connection, even
if you really want to, you wantto like have verbal diarrhea all

(29:07):
over the person, right?
So it's like you don't want todo that, like necessarily.
Um, I guess I could haveprobably stated that a little
better.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
That was a lot worse than Alex, but it's true, though
you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
Like you don't want to come off all crazy Like you
just drank 17 cups of coffee,but no, yeah, you get it, you
know.
So I think like that's the bigif you're naturally curious and
that's the if you're naturallycurious and you get, and that's
the thing, if you can findsomeone's passion cause again, I
don't care if you'reintroverted or not Like if you
have the time and you find,through questioning or a series
of questions like um, and evenlike people are like well, I

(29:43):
like to work in cars.
Like so you work on cars 24,seven, when you're not at auto
care events like some do some,do some do like.
Well, no, you know I like tofish too, or like you know I do
this or that, and that's thesame thing, like, like I said
moments ago, like I'll respondwith a litany of items you know
to hope.
Hopefully I can find somethingwhere there's kind of grounding

(30:03):
time.
Oh, you like sports, or oh, youlike boats, or whatever.

Speaker 4 (30:06):
Whatever the case may be, so hi, I'm mark bogdanski,
vice President of Trade Showsand Community Engagement at the
Auto Care Association, and I'mthrilled to invite you to join
me in Las Vegas at Apex, theaftermarket's premiere show,
this November 5th to the 7th.
I guarantee you will have anamazing week full of unmatched

(30:27):
networking opportunities, accessto unparalleled educational
sessions, including our enhancedEV stage, our new ADOS and
sustainability stages, and ouraftermarket shop training.
You'll also see a show floorwith over 2,700 companies
featuring the latest products,services and experiences.
This truly is the aftermarket'shomecoming and you do not want

(30:49):
to miss it.
Register now at apexshowcom andI hope to see you there.

Speaker 5 (30:55):
I think also, like I think, when people aren't good
at small talk, or they just toyour point, jackie, they're not
interested, maybe they're, theydon't realize the benefits of it
, right, they might think it'sjust wasteful time, or you know,
or they don't like itthemselves right, so they don't
like.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
There's times I just don't want to talk to people.
I think I said on that in thatprevious episode about
introverts and extroverts that Iusually put in my earbuds just
so no one talks to me.
They think I'm listening tosomething and I'm not.
I just don't want to talk toanybody.

Speaker 5 (31:26):
And there are times too, like if I'm, I want to get
work done on a plane becauseit's a great time, nobody's, no
conference calls, no one'scalling me.
I mean I, you know, I'll alwayskind of say hi to the neighbor
that's sitting next to me orwhatever.
But, um, but I think also justunderstanding the benefits and
I'll quit another really quickstory.
So I have a colleague that shewas not in sales.

(31:48):
She wanted to be.

Speaker 3 (31:50):
I was hoping you'd tell the story.

Speaker 5 (31:57):
I was going to hoping you'd tell the story.
I was gonna, I was gonna promptyou to tell the story because
she was not in sales and shewanted to be in sales and she
went to work with me.
So you know, we got her intosales and I remember she's a
super introvert and part of whatdrew her to me was we read a
trade show in Europe and she sawme engaging with customers and
just, you know, I'm just have abig personality and I think this
is so opposite from her?
Yeah, a little bit, but soopposite from her and she came

(32:19):
up to me and said you know, Ireally want to work with you
because I feel like I couldlearn from you, and I think it
was purely from the fact that wewere so opposite and so we
ended up working together.
And I remember several meetingswhere she wasn't ready to
present.
She's kind of watching me how Ikind of work the room and you
know, I always try to have somelittle funny bits and you know,
sure, sure, and I've had somemoments here where I'm like, oh,

(32:41):
they're not laughing at myjokes.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
Okay, move on.
We've all been there.

Speaker 5 (32:45):
Yeah, but the irony is, you know, months later I go
back to Europe and go out withher on sales calls and usually
we're at dinner with a, with acustomer, and usually I'm the
one chatting everybody up at thetable, and you know holding
court you know this, you knowfor the summer, blah, blah, blah
.
And I sat back cause she was theone who really took center
stage.
She was engaging the group.

(33:07):
She was the one laughing,telling jokes, all this energy.
And I looked at her and go, whois this girl?
And we were on the way home, onthe way back to the hotel, and
I remember having thisconversation with her and she
said you know what Z?
I'm a different person.
This whole change to saleschanged my life.
She's like and for, and it was.
It was a positive change.

(33:28):
She said.
I used to be the girl at aparty that would like be the
wallflower, kind of observeeveryone, but he's sit on the
sideline and now I'm the onewalking up to people and
introducing myself and makingfriends.
And I mean it was a reallyheartwarming story because I
realized also going back to thebenefits how much it can help
just bring confidence out in aperson yeah, because you're no

(33:49):
longer like.
There's not that fear.
Yeah, I can?

Speaker 2 (33:52):
I can really relate to that because, you know,
earlier on in my career I wasthat person too.
I would come to networkingevents and be in the corner
until someone talked to me.
You know, I would never approachsomebody else that you know,
but then like, the more I didmeet people and more confident I
got in the industry and beingable to hold conversation about
the industry and feeling justmore confident in general in my

(34:12):
career, being able to holdconversation about the industry
and feeling just more confidentin general in my career Now I
it's it's much less scary for meto go up to people I don't know
and and start up small talksRight and it goes back to just I
think the biggest, easiestpiece of advice I can give is is
be curious about anything.

Speaker 5 (34:26):
You like shoes, you know.
I don't know anything that theyou know.
If I see somebody with a coolbackpack, I'm like that is a
cool bag, can I ask where yougot it?
Because I need one, you knowwhatever.
So I mean just something that'scurious, that you can find
about that that person.
And it could be again like ifyou're just at an industry event
and you see their badge andwhere they're from, and that's a

(34:47):
starting point.
Or oh, you work for XYZ.
I knew somebody that workedthere.
Did you know this person youknow?
so it's just any way you can tryto find that entry point and
that's what makes the connectionabsolutely and keeping the
connection going is justobviously where that
conversation will then lead, andI think, for the biggest that

(35:10):
people love talking aboutthemselves, so the biggest thing
in a sales call and it's notjust about sales.
But if you are asking questions, then they're allowing you're
allowing them to talk aboutthemselves.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Yeah, and I think, and I think don't.
You know I might get in troubleat times for not being serious
enough, but but we are sellingauto parts here, right?
We're in the automotiveindustry Like we're not brain
surgeons, we're not you know,like we're not brain surgeons
we're not, you know, curingdiseases or anything like that
like this is auto parts, right?
so I think sometimes we takeemissions.
Yeah, we are, we are, we are.
Yeah, and technically youprobably sell brakes like you're
saving people's lives becausethey're stopping the car, but

(35:42):
whatever um safety features.

Speaker 5 (35:44):
Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
It asks whatever yeah , exactly, but I think like
don't, don't.
I say it's my team.
All the time.
It's like don't listen, guys,when they get all like intense
too serious.
Yeah, don't, don't listen Godwhen they get all like intense,
you know a little morelighthearted, like don't take
things too seriously, right,it's like you know, take it easy
Like we're.
You know this is a.

Speaker 5 (35:59):
You know it's auto parts right At the end of the
day like you know, don't beafraid to that point, is just
trying to find ways to get outof your comfort zone.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
Yes.

Speaker 5 (36:22):
So the Ubers are a great way to practice.
So, for somebody that is shy oran introvert, you're just in
the car with it most of the timewith one person, unless you're
riding with somebody.
So use it as an area ofpractice.
You're never going to see thepeople again.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
No one's judging you, you know introvert to the
people believe you know that,right, like you say oh, I'm an
introvert Like.
Are you, though?
Like who told you to take aMyers Briggs test?
That told you what happened?
Right, like you know, obviouslyyou and I are pretty uh, people
would say gregarious outgoingkind of people say, oh, they
probably a little too much, andthat was going to be.

(36:59):
My point, too, is like we haveto be careful because a super
introvert.
we got to, you know, dial itback a little bit and as I've
gotten older, like that's, oneof the things I've kind of
learned is like I can totallyturn off an introvert and like
they're going to just go into ashell, because I'm too much
right.
I'm too, you know, overpoweringfrom an extrovert Right.
So you gotta be really carefuland give them that safe space,
right, give them the space to toyou know, talk or interject or

(37:22):
whatever.

Speaker 5 (37:22):
The case is you know, to your point break breaking
the ice and being lighthearted.
The world is heavy.

Speaker 3 (37:27):
We all know that.

Speaker 5 (37:28):
Yep, the world is very heavy everywhere you look
at it right.
Especially in the last eightyears it's been super heavy, and
so I think having thatlightheartedness also just
brings people.
People buy from who they likeand people want to spend time
with people that are um, kind ofmake them feel good, sure, and

(37:49):
when things aren't so heavy,then it gives the opportunity to
be like oh, you know, this waslike a breath of fresh air, it
was good, good energy, don't weall?
We all love good energy, and ifsomebody's always like, it's
always so serious not that theenergy is bad, but I think it
doesn't allow kind of that.
Take a breath you know, justrelax like

(38:10):
you know it's, it's your point.
It's not that serious, it's allgoing to work out.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
And also I was thinking about this too, you
kind of mentioned it in certaincases, like this small talk,
there might be someone that youmight get something heavy right,
you might say something youmight get.
Like I've had a lot of peoplein, you know, I think us
extroverts, you know we canpeople talk to us or easy share
things easily, right.
And you know I've talked tosomeone like, hey, how's it
going today?
Oh, like, oh man, like you know, this happened and my dog died.

(38:36):
I'm like you know, I'm like ohman, I'm sorry to hear you know,
but it could change their day,right, like they just need to
get it off their chest.
So, you know, it might behelping someone else out, right,
even though the small talk, orthey're having a terrible day,
but that could change theirwhole day.
And they just got something offtheir chest.
So it's really empowering inthat sense that you never know

(38:59):
what this small conversationcould mean to someone else,
someone you'd never see again,even if it is not on the
lighthearted side, that's truetoo.

Speaker 5 (39:07):
Or to the opposite end.

Speaker 1 (39:08):
That person's having a terrible day and you're like a
breath of fresh air becauseyou're coming out smiling.

Speaker 5 (39:14):
I mean, there is something like I was saying this
the other day.
You know, the the world isheavy and when you find people
that are kind of had this like abubbly or kind of good energy
and they are smiling a lotinnately, it just makes you feel
a little bit like oh you know,I can I feel better too.
It's contagious.

(39:34):
It's contagious, yeah.

Speaker 3 (39:36):
I mean, think about this If you didn't know us and
you know, Jackie and I weresitting in this room and we
weren't saying anything and youcame in this room and we're
sitting here, like you know,bump on a log.

Speaker 5 (39:46):
Andrew, you're in the movie.

Speaker 3 (39:48):
And so or we're sitting here like oh yeah, last
night with Dr Tom and you know,and our hands are going Like
that's a totally differentenvironment right, I know I talk
with my hands up.

Speaker 5 (39:57):
Yeah, like this whole thing.

Speaker 4 (39:58):
It's like what do I do with my hands?

Speaker 2 (40:01):
I'm like that's why we went to boom mics, Because
everyone kept hitting the table,because we were talking with
our hands.

Speaker 3 (40:09):
Oh yeah, environment's a lot and again,
like I said, I think you can bea breath of fresh air or change
the environment that you're inright based on your personality
type, and it's a little easierfor us outgoing folks.
But I read something the otherday I could have saw it on
social media.
But if you do something orpractice, I think it's like 18
minutes a day doing anything.

(40:29):
You do it every day for a year.
You be like in the top fivepercentile of whatever it is
really whether you're cars orgolfing or small talk or
whatever.
If you were 18 minutes a day,anything, and did it for a year,
you'll be in the top 5%, andwhatever it is, See, that's a
great.

Speaker 5 (40:46):
So 18 minutes a day.
18 minutes a day.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
They have to practice small talk, whether it's at the
grocery store or you're at the,you know your your kids uh,
baseball game or whatever watercooler the gym wherever Uber
airport.
Um, I look forward to being top5% of podcasters, you're
putting your 18 minutes a day.

Speaker 5 (41:05):
Yeah, oh, at least.
That's a good one, though,cause I'm going to actually
remember that.
Like what did they say?
21 days makes a habit too, soif something consistently for 21
days as well, but I thinkthat's another good piece of
advice I would give is just, ifyou're going to a networking
event and you're kind of scaredand you're like I don't, you
know, give yourself a goal.
Today I have to meet two people.

(41:28):
You know yeah sure, and thenmaybe every time you are one
person, and then the next timeit's two, and then three, and
then you're giving yourselflittle goals to reach.
And then the more to your point, jackie the more you did it,
the more confident you got Cause.
That's all you know.
Confidence is everything.
It attracts people.
Other confident people attractother people.

(41:49):
If you're confident aboutanything that you are speaking
about, obviously people aregoing to be more engaged.
Same, same sort of thing, yeah.

Speaker 3 (41:59):
That's that passion we're talking about earlier.
So you find that passion rightOnce you I don't care how
introverted you are If we findthat what you're passionate
about, whatever it is, they willtalk.
And sometimes and this is thething too I've noticed with
introverts and those peoplelistening, like, once you get
them out of that shell likethey're, they're explosive, like
they may not shut up for twohours talking about whatever
their passion is Right.
So once you've kind of peeledthe layers back and got to that,

(42:20):
you know that that thing thatthey're passionate about,
they'll talk.
For, you know, till the cowscome home, kind of thing, right.
But again, it's trying to to,to get to that that.
What is that passion Right?
And that's back to kind of whatwe said earlier.
It's just, you know, keep becurious, keep asking questions,
right, cause you're going to getsome of these introverted
people that are going to giveyou one word responses, right,
and so you've got to keep asking, keep asking, keep asking and

(42:40):
eventually you'll find something.

Speaker 5 (42:42):
Uh, unless they point you know, simple simple
questions, get good at it andthen kind of build your uh, I
guess your your like base of howto keep the cause you.

(43:04):
That's the whole point too ishow do you keep it going?

Speaker 3 (43:06):
Sure.

Speaker 5 (43:07):
And so I think they need to practice, with a few
questions, whether it's like toyour point what do you do when
you're not?

Speaker 2 (43:13):
working.

Speaker 3 (43:13):
It's almost like one question and two follow-ups,
right, well, I like to work oncars oh, do you have a project
you're working on?
Or do you like Mustangs, do youlike Camaro's?
Do you like Corvettes, likewhat?
You know what I mean.
And keep, just keep asking,just keep asking.

Speaker 5 (43:36):
You got a project I mean because the small talk
leads to.
So I told a funny story aboutmeeting a guy who ran for
president which was crazy InPanama.
In Panama, Last night I was onthe plane and I told this to
Jackie and the flight attendantwas coming down the aisle and he
noticed this couple.
They were both on each aisleand they were talking.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
So he realized they were a couple.

Speaker 5 (43:51):
And so he said why aren't you all sitting together?
Do you want me to ask them tomove so you can sit together?
And the girl's like, no, no, no, we like sitting in aisles.
And he's like, oh, you like tostretch out your legs?
And they were laughing.
And then she said, well, funnystory.
We met nine months ago on aplane, sitting like this, aisle
to aisle.
Two weeks ago we got married.
Small talk, married, isn't thatcrazy?

Speaker 3 (44:19):
And then I have another friend that on a plane,
she met her now boss, who gother an entire different industry
.
Like that was a Microsoft story.
That's a great story.

Speaker 5 (44:23):
Got her into the tech world and she was not into that
whole world at all.
So you just, again, never knowthat where small talk can lead
your life, whether it'spersonally, professionally.
Me, I met a good friend in line, ended up in her wedding.
I mean, you just never know thepeople Because, to your point,

(44:44):
the six degrees of separation,like all of us, are separated by
six degrees.
But also, if you're notfrequently at a place, for
example, how are you going tomeet these people?
You have to engage whereveryou're at.

Speaker 3 (45:00):
Well, and think about it too, Like some of these
folks, especially in the newenvironment, post-pandemic.

Speaker 5 (45:04):
you know a lot of people's remote work is virtual.
They're not going to the office.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
They're lacking some of these opportunities, right?
So maybe it is the grocerystore, Maybe it is the gym,
Maybe it is the you know airportor Uber, right?
So you're going to have to, youknow, take these different
opportunities, right.

Speaker 5 (45:19):
No, I mean me too.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
I mean I'll spare everyone the full details, but
almost 20 years ago now, a younglady called me.
I was, before I got in theautomotive industry, trying to
solicit me trade show logisticsright, I was a director in sales
marketing, I was outside of theautomotive, I was on some sort
of trade show list, right.
Uh, long story short, that's mywife.
The first time ever she shecalled me trying to solicit like

(45:41):
trade show logistics you know,ship our.
She's a good salesperson, well Igot I'll save the whole thing,
but we started talking.
I kept, you know, not buying,not buying, not buying and then,
ultimately, when I was like heyyou know what?
Know what you?
You've been pretty aggressive.
You know I'm a salesman.
I was like you've been prettyaggressive.
You know I'll give you a shotand this is this is what sold me
.
She goes, no, and I go.

(46:06):
What do you mean?

Speaker 5 (46:07):
No, you've been calling me for months trying to
get me to buy this.
Now you're telling her in.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
Absolutely so.
So, yeah, but you know, but younever know.
Again, it started a small talk,like, literally, if I wouldn't
have, you know, maybe made a fewcomments or made a little small
talk, or whatever, in thesewhile she's again trying to, you
know, solicit trade showlogistics Right, my life would
have went different path, youknow.

Speaker 5 (46:29):
Whatever the case may be right.
A friend of mine married theguy who sold her a car.

Speaker 3 (46:33):
There you go.
You know what I mean.
No, absolutely you never know,you never know.

Speaker 4 (46:37):
I was like wow.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
Listen, you can't come back at us if you're trying
to get married and a small talkisn't working for marriage.
So we're, not responsible forthat Right.

Speaker 5 (46:48):
So what are the main takeaways?
I think the main one is becurious, give yourself some
goals, right.
So even if you're very scaredor terrified to do it like, find
a couple of opening questionsthat you feel comfortable asking
, you know, and give yourself afew goals when you walk into an
event or to a room that you wantto meet a few people.
So that way you can kind of notonly that.

(47:12):
I mean, we all feel good whenwe mark things off our to-do
list our checklist right, so itgives yourself that opportunity.
And I think the reason I saygive yourself goals is because
then you force yourself to do it, Because how many times you're
like I'm just going to grab adrink.

Speaker 3 (47:28):
Hey, why do it today when you can put it off tomorrow
, right yeah?

Speaker 5 (47:30):
exactly and I think also just be open-minded,
because you never know where thesmall talk will lead you and
the benefits of it, whether it'spersonally or professionally.
I think there is an art to it.
For Andrew and I, obviously, itcomes very naturally, but even
for us and you've mentioned thislike I need to know when to

(47:51):
dial it back, when to you know,pursue more Like I kind of you
have to take the social cues.
Yes.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
That's one of the biggest things is the social
cues and reading yoursurroundings, right, like I was
saying, whatever hand you'redealt, whether it's the
environment you're in withpictures or whatever's on the
wall, but also, you know, havingthe wherewithal to like.
You know this might be someoneI really want to connect with,
right, but I can see that oh,they're, you know, walking
through the hall at AWDA andthey need to go to the next
meeting because we got fiveminutes.
You know, being conscious thatI can't spend 20 minutes talking

(48:21):
to this person because we'reall busy and moving out,
understanding you know that thatportion of it and, um, yeah,
you know kind of play the handyou're dealt, sort of thing.
And I think you know thinkingback to these events, like we
literally in this industry, havelike a networking event at
every.
There's a cocktail reception atevery freaking every single
event, apex takes the cakeliterally that's what we're

(48:43):
there to do, like six a day,like for the specific reason to
sit around and talk right withpeople.
You know, and I mean there's somany opportunities again, you
know, you gotta be curious.
I think.
Be curious, you know, askingquestions and be organic, right
and be intentional, but don'tforce it, don't rush it, even if
it's someone you really want totalk to or build a connection

(49:05):
with.
That true connection might takea couple conversations, right,
it might take months or weeksdepending on when you see this
person or whatever.
But um, you know, the old, oldcliche room wasn't built in a
day kind of thing, right?
so start small.
Maybe you got a couple things.
Okay, I know she's in film nownext time I talk to z is like
we're talking about like la andlike you don't need famous
people, like have you worked onany movies, like whatever you

(49:26):
know, like all these things,like these other questions I can
now ask right and that andthat's what, also kind of like
the pre-flight I mentionedearlier, like especially with
you, know these people that youknow I guess the highest pool is
what building connections orsomething?
that was the the thing in onlinedo your pre-flight again,
because in this industry ifwe're trying to get a customer
or a client or something toconnect with, I guarantee you do
your research right, someoneknows this person and like are

(49:49):
they into cars, are they intosports, are they into fishing,
are they into film?
Right, like you can havesomething going in knowing that
you can kind of lead theconversation a little bit.
Right, you know, and so, yeah,do your homework.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
Yeah, I kind of think that that would be.
My takeaway is actually maybeto the people who find small
talk difficult, to the peoplewho find small talk difficult,
something that really helps meis LinkedIn.
Yeah, because so many peopleknow.
You know that I just started anew job that I'm trying out
podcasting.
You know that they have a.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
You're more than trying here.
There's like a million dollarsof equipment in here.
What are we talking about?

Speaker 5 (50:22):
Yeah, this is our professional setup.

Speaker 2 (50:23):
Yeah, absolutely, you know I put a little bit about
my.
You know I put that I'm a mom,a working mom, I talk about that
.
So there's enough things forpeople to feel comfortable
approaching me with small talk.
So maybe you guys are talking alot about the proactive way of
getting better at small talk andapproaching others.
Maybe that's a way to becomemore approachable too on the

(50:43):
other side.

Speaker 3 (50:44):
And that's why I like when we started off talking
about the background too.
What does your background?
How can you tell a story aboutyourself?
By what's behind you in thewall right or a few things like
that people would talk about orwhatever you know and shout out
to my man, rob Blitstein.
You know he got mehyper-motivated in the pandemic
and he had a great setup withthese flags it was very

(51:04):
presidential looking, I thinkyou remember that.
So you're like, I need that youknow I went on my own route but,
like it was engaging, I waslike, oh man, that's an awesome
background, right.
And he obviously, you know,took some, took some time to put
it together and, uh, you know,it went for a while.
Everyone's doing the funny, youknow, backgrounds, the moon, or
whatever you know that's andthat's all well and good but
does that really help?

Speaker 1 (51:24):
Did you say the moon.
Yeah, so random.
You know, I'm just a randombackground.

Speaker 3 (51:30):
Yeah, yeah, so, yeah.
So I think that's the biggestthing is, you know, if you just
stay curious and again you know,play the hand, you're dealt
with it, whatever theenvironment gives you, wherever
you're at, you know, again, it'sgoing to change from place to
place, but there's clues, right.
And even in the car they couldhave something hanging from the
visor, you could see a magazineor they could have whatever it

(51:50):
is right.
So there's always little cluesout there about that person.

Speaker 5 (51:54):
I mean being in the automotive industry.
A question I always ask is okay, if you could have any dream
car, what would it be?

Speaker 1 (51:59):
Oh yeah, that's a great one.

Speaker 3 (52:07):
And then that kind of starts this you wouldn't.
Okay, well, I'd have a driver.
No, that is an answer.
I'd have a limo.
What's your dream car?
A limo with a driver.
There you go.

Speaker 5 (52:20):
Or even just a random question, like a good one is a
total icebreaker is, if there'sanyone you could ever meet you
know, dead or alive, who wouldit be Right?
Because then it tells you a lotabout that person and their,
their, their interests, whetherit's a sports, an athlete, an
actor, a politician, I don'tknow, like somebody in history
you know, and it just tells that, it tells you, it kind of lets

(52:41):
you in a little bit kind ofpeeling that layer and I use a
similar line of questioning.

Speaker 3 (52:43):
I'll say you know, if money wasn't an object and you
can do one thing every day forthe rest of your, life.

Speaker 5 (52:49):
What would it be?
Yeah, dream.
Right so this is kind of thesame thing.
What would you do?

Speaker 3 (52:55):
Right, right, right.
For me it would be I'd be onthe water, right, it might be
I'd have a boat and I'd be on abeach.
Sometimes I might just hang onthe boat, sometimes I might be
on the beach, but I right thatthat's that would.

Speaker 5 (53:05):
I would do that every day never work like that.

Speaker 3 (53:07):
You know, I know that answer and you might have to
tease a lot of people but, likeyou, kind of start to see their
wheels turning like right.
What would you do every day ifmoney wasn't an object?
What would you do I?

Speaker 2 (53:14):
literally can't answer that question.

Speaker 3 (53:17):
You'd be a podcast teacher.

Speaker 5 (53:20):
What are we, I don't know, like, because I like so an
advice, some advice I gave tosome of my single friends.
You know that in la they're,they're like we go to out and we
just never meet anybody.
And I said, well, where do youguys sit when you go to dinner?
I get the table sit at the bar.
Yes, absolutely even if you'retogether, just sit at the bar
because you can.
Worst case, when I travel alone, I always sit at the bar

(53:41):
because at least I can talk tothe bartender.
I don't feel so alone.
And then, of course, innately,I'm going to meet friends at the
bar.
You're just going to meetpeople while you're having
dinner and having a drink, but Itell my friends that as well
because, again, it's an area anda place for them to engage in
small talk.
That's good advice.
You're not going to do that ifyou're just sitting at the table
with each other.
Of course, you're not going tomeet anybody, and here's
something it kind of soundssilly, but it's like Z, we're

(54:06):
sitting at the bar now and we'remeeting people.
I'm like, okay, we have to gowhere the people are.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
And something that brought something else up to
mind is like when you thinkabout when you go into a room
like a bar, or go into a bigroom full of people, like as
humans, like our naturalinclination is like to hurry up
and run to, like somewhere weknow or whatever.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Correct.

Speaker 3 (54:33):
So what I do?
I call it the sprinkler.
We just seriously.
I turned this 20 years ago, soso basically it's like giving
off or like stop in that doorwayfor a minute, right at the bar
or in the just wait, or in theroom, in the room, and just stop
for a second because what'sgonna?
What happens when someoneenters the room, whatever room
you're in?
What happens everybody?

Speaker 5 (54:41):
looks everybody looks right.

Speaker 3 (54:42):
But but what does everyone want to do?
They want to get their headdown.
They want to.
They want to go get out of thatspotlight right.
Stay in that shine for a second.

Speaker 5 (54:49):
I would encourage no, no, seriously, Stay in that
shine.
I like that, Just stay in therefor a second.
Because what's?

Speaker 3 (54:53):
going to happen?
Is you're going to make eyecontact with people, right?
You might kind of you know, Ikind of survey the room, if you
will.
Right, For that specific reason.

Speaker 5 (55:12):
Yeah, you know so.

Speaker 3 (55:13):
So you can kind of take in the room if you will,
and the room can take you inRight and instead of just like
hurrying to hustle to get out ofthe spotlight.

Speaker 5 (55:19):
That's a really to a networking dinner at work like a
work function.
You said it perfectly you tendto flock to the table where you
know people.
I forced myself many times togo to a table I know no one and
I'm like, can I do you mind if Isit here?

(55:40):
Is anybody here?
And then I just start engagingand I've made business contacts,
got customers.
I mean you wouldn't want totalk about small talk.
I mean you want to talk aboutsmall talk.
I mean during the pandemic wecouldn't see customers right, so
we had to get sales.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
You guys couldn't.
We're in Georgia.
We don't know what a pandemicis.

Speaker 5 (56:00):
We were still seeing customers, but we had to learn
how to engage via LinkedIn to.
You know, it's kind of likecold calling but cold messaging,
but it kind of goes back to theart of small talk, Cause you
have to have a good openerbecause nobody's going to read
your message, Right?
So it's like what does?

Speaker 3 (56:17):
what does a whale way enough to break the ice?
Thank you, JC.

Speaker 5 (56:27):
That's making it in.
Well, this was great guys.
Thank you so much.
That's making it in.

Speaker 2 (56:29):
Well, this was great guys.
Thank you so much.
I learned a lot.
I think this was probablyreally helpful for people.

Speaker 5 (56:35):
Okay, good.
No we yeah, hopefully we didn'tshot them to death.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
I didn't have to do much at all.
I just kind of sat and watchedyou guys chat.
It was nice.

Speaker 3 (56:42):
Hey, that's probably easy.
But no, I know Izzy and Italked about this.
We talked about it Like I'd beglad to talk with anybody about
this, like after the fact.

Speaker 5 (56:48):
Obviously we're out there on LinkedIn.
Like if someone says hey,something resonated with them,
like I'd be glad to you know,meet anyone or talk, you know,
on a one-on-one basis orwhatever, with anyone who's
curious about you know becomingbetter, me too.
Because I think, jackie, onething that opened up, you're
just natural at chatty beingchatty Kathy and chatty Chuck.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
here that's our new, that's our new we need a show
with chatty Kathy and chattyChuck.

Speaker 5 (57:18):
But when you're naturally chatty, you don't
think about a process becauseit's just happening organically.
So when you asked me to do this, I said what do I do?
Yeah, Like, what do I do?

Speaker 2 (57:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (57:31):
And I started to think about it and that's when I
had said to you I said, yeah,I'll walk in a room and I'll say
, hey, do you mind if I put mydrink here?
Do you mind?
Is anybody sitting here?
Can I, you know, mind if I havemy dinner here as well?
And just try to get to knowpeople.
The other thing I've donereally that was helpful one time
is I was looking for a specificbuyer in a room and I'd seen

(57:51):
this person's picture onLinkedIn because I did my
homework.
Yeah, and I always look too tosee if they did any posts right.
What do they post about?
You've done a fantastic job ofkind of showing your personal
life too and your personality,which I know has been a very
controversial thing aboutLinkedIn.
Right, it's not Facebook, it'snot Facebook, it's not Instagram
, but I think that's what you'vedone has been really smart

(58:12):
because people feel like theyknow you right.
Thank you, yeah, and that's thewhole thing with celebrities,
right?
So they'll say people thinkthey know celebrities because
they always see them in thespotlight, they're seeing them
at these events, they see themin interviews.
But you've done a great job ofthat and so I'm more and more
trying to.
I'll do my research on LinkedIn.

(58:34):
I'll see if they've postedanything.
Did they talk about anythingpersonal or whatever, even if
it's work, or they traveledsomewhere cool that I want to
talk about?
And I saw this person in a room.
I saw the name badge and I was.
I was talking to somebody Iknew because it was the comfort
zone you know, you're laughing,chatting it up and I literally
said to that person.
I said, hey, I got to go,walked up to this man didn't
know me.
I said I've been looking foryou all day and he goes.
Really who?

Speaker 1 (58:55):
are you and?

Speaker 5 (58:56):
it just.
But the way I approached him hethought it was funny.
I mean, at first he was kind ofa little thrown off and we
started joking, but it was justa little silly icebreaker.

Speaker 3 (59:08):
Sure.

Speaker 5 (59:08):
And sometimes you can just do that.

Speaker 3 (59:10):
Silly icebreaker and similarly.
I use a similar thing, like ifI know, like, let's say, there's
a group of folks talking, maybeJackie's there with four other
people that I don't know, right,and I'll walk up and be like
hey, how do you guys know thisidiot?
Right, you're like this is real, you know what I mean Like you
know it's a great way to breakthe ice and I know I already
have a relationship with her orwhoever, so you can kind of use

(59:32):
that.
You know it's lighthearted, butyou know they're laughing.

Speaker 5 (59:35):
What's your connection?
That's a great one, yeah,because?

Speaker 3 (59:37):
you have a group of three or four people.

Speaker 4 (59:44):
You probably know one of them of here, Well, you all
heard the invite.

Speaker 2 (59:48):
Connect with them on LinkedIn.
They're happy to talk to you,give you any more tips and
advice.
Thank you guys, so much forbeing here.

Speaker 5 (59:53):
Oh, thanks for having us, thanks for having us, thank
you very much.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
Thank you very much.
Thanks for tuning in to anotherepisode of Auto Care On Air.
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(01:00:17):
visit autocareorg.