May 14, 2023 • 21 mins
In Brain News, researchers have recently performed a successful surgery to repair a Vein of Galen Malformation, in a baby’s brain before birth. This month's interview is with Brianna McCulloch who runs the Kailee Mills Foundation-- a charity on a mission to save lives one seat belt click at a time. The podcast ends with a discussion of Chapter 11 of our focus book, Suffer Strong, noting world is missing something valuable if people are not able to recognize and use their talents and gifts.
Article Mentioned: https://newsroom.heart.org/news/in-first-in-utero-brain-surgery-doctors-eliminated-symptoms-of-dangerous-condition?fbclid=IwAR3kfAUdMMk4MaBAoUxVSUjXmC6h4lraG6bzUsIeS5bxe5KxD2Sy9TYovdE
Guest Website: https://www.kaileemillsfoundation.org/
Article Mentioned: https://newsroom.heart.org/news/in-first-in-utero-brain-surgery-doctors-eliminated-symptoms-of-dangerous-condition?fbclid=IwAR3kfAUdMMk4MaBAoUxVSUjXmC6h4lraG6bzUsIeS5bxe5KxD2Sy9TYovdE
Guest Website: https://www.kaileemillsfoundation.org/
Webpage: https://www.avmalliance.org
Go Fund Me: https://www.gofundme.com/f/avmalliance
Our FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/AVMAlliance
Our FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/325321586185434
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/avmalliance/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@avmalliance
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@avmalliance
Personal Blog: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/kylerlewis
Twitter: https://twitter.com/avmawareness
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Raylene Lewis (00:02):
Hi there, and thank you for joining us on AVM
Alliance, a pediatric strokepodcast for families and friends
whose lives have been affectedby traumatic brain injury, brain
vessel disease, or stroke.
The purpose of this podcast isto focus on the kid's side of
brain injury with honest TalkNews, information and discussion
for our community.
(00:23):
Being a parent of a medicallycomplex child is an extremely
difficult path to suddenly findyourself on.
I'm Raylene Lewis and my son,Kyler, suffered a hemorrhagic
stroke at age 15.
Thank you for joining us.
In brain news researchers haverecently performed a successful
surgery to repair a vein ofGalen malformation in a baby's
(00:45):
brain before birth.
A vein of Galen malformation,also called vogm, is most often
first diagnosed from a prenatalultrasound, and later confirmed
with an MRI during the thirdtrimester of pregnancy.
A vein of Galen malformation isa condition in which arteries
bringing high flow, highpressure blood to the brain from
(01:06):
the heart, connect directly withone of the main collecting veins
deep at the base of the brainrather than to capillaries which
slow blood flow and deliveroxygen to surrounding brain
tissue.
Due to the changes a baby goesthrough during and after the
birth process, the high flow inthe malformation has a more
serious effect on the heart andbrain after birth, which puts a
(01:30):
lot of pressure on a newborn'sheart and lungs.
This can cause permanent damage.
The researchers were able tosuccessfully perform an
embolization in utero.
After birth, the newborn had anormal neurological exam and
showed no stroke, fluid buildupor hemorrhage on a brain mri.
This baby was the first treatedpatient in a clinical trial that
(01:52):
is currently underway at BostonChildren's Hospital and Brigham
and Women's Hospital.
It is estimated that VOGM, themost common congenital vascular
brain malformation, occurs in asmany as one in every 60,000
births.
A link to this study is in thedescription of this podcast, The
(02:13):
AVM Alliance podcast brings alltypes of guests to tell their
story.
This month I had the pleasure ofvisiting with Brianna
McCullough, who runs the KaileeMills Foundation.
This foundation is so veryimportant because their mission
to save lives one seatbelt clickat a time, truly applies to us
all.
I am so excited to have youtoday on our podcast.
(02:35):
Thank you for joining us.
Thank you for having me.
Absolutely.
You know, we are a strokepodcast typically, but we're
also involved with traumaticbrain injury and reaching out
and dealing with those parentsas well.
And gosh, I just think everybodyshould listen to your story
because the foundation that youhave put together is something
(02:56):
that everybody can relate to.
Brianna McCulloch (03:00):
Yes, thank you.
So Kailee is actually my niece.
And five years ago she, it wasOctober, 2017 and she was riding
in the car with three of herfriends.
She was in the backseat and she,they actually all had their seat
belts on, but she took herseatbelt off just for a moment
to slide over and take a selfiewith her friend in the backseat.
(03:22):
They were in their Halloweencostumes.
And in that split second, thedriver ran off the road.
He took a curve too quick, andthe car flipped front to back.
Because Kailee was not wearingher seatbelt.
She was ejected and killed, andher three friends in the vehicle
all walked away with somescratches and bruises and really
weren't injured.
(03:43):
And so we knew that had she hadher seatbelt on in that moment,
she would have survived thatcrash.
So, you know, because of thatsplit second decision, She lost
her life at 16 and what ended upkilling her was as she was
ejected from the vehicle, fromhitting her head on the glass on
(04:04):
the way out she did get atraumatic brain injury and they
ultimately determined that thatis what killed her.
And through the work that theKailee Mills Foundation has been
doing over the last five years,we have encountered so many
families that have.
Experience the same thing.
Either fatality from traumaticbrain injury or serious
(04:26):
traumatic brain injuries thatthey have been hospitalized for
extended period of time.
And have recovered, but stillhave a long, long road of
recovery ahead of them.
And so we have a familyassistance program where we
assist families, whether it'sfatality or injury, but it's
something that we see over andover and you know, you only get
one brain.
(04:47):
So it's in our world withvehicle crashes is just trying
to get people to understand thatthe preventative measure of a
seatbelt can save you from thedamage to your brain.
Raylene Lewis (04:59):
Absolutely.
And I just have to say, I am soimpressed with your foundation
and everything that you'redoing.
I mean, seatbelt safety is justsomething we should all think
about.
Sometimes as caregivers, we'rejust trying to survive in
seatbelt safety.
I'm like, I'm hurrying.
I'm trying to get to thetherapist, or I'm trying to make
sure that we're taking care ofthings and I need to look and
(05:19):
say, Hey, you know, is theperson that I'm taking care of,
do they have their seatbelt?
Do I have my seatbelt on?
Because like you said, yourniece.
She was very close to home whenthis happened, right?
Yes.
And it just shows that anaccident can, can happen
anywhere at any time.
You do a lot of education aswell for schools.
Can you talk to me a little bitabout what you offer?
Brianna McCulloch (05:40):
Yes.
So within days after the crashKailee's dad was driving by the
cross.
As you said, it was 500 yardsfrom her home, right outside of
the neighborhood.
On a 30 mile an hour side roadat, you know, a place where most
people would say, oh, I'll befine without my seatbelt.
And that's not the case.
So they drive by it every day.
(06:02):
And as he was driving by thecross, there was about 200 kids
that were just.
Surrounding the cross, sittingthere praying grieving the loss
of their friend.
And he said, you know, I reallyneed to stop and talk to these
kids.
And, and I mean, think aboutthat.
This is two days after he justlost his daughter.
And so he stopped and he startedtalking to them about how
important it's to wear yourseatbelt, how important it's to
(06:24):
protect yourself.
Life can change in an instant.
And the kids really, really tookto the message.
And so he said, you know what?
We need to talk to kids aboutthis because they're.
Too many kids are dying fromthis.
And so we started up our schoolprograms where we just went and
started doing safety talks tothese kids, showing them videos
of Kaylee, talking to themabout, you know, something they
(06:46):
can relate to.
They look at Kailee and they seethemselves in her photo and her
videos, and so that reallystarted to go overwhelm.
We created the SeatbeltAwareness ribbon and we started
spreading that throughout thecommunity, and the community
wanted more and more of it.
And so Texas Department ofTransportation Clicker Ticket
Campaign actually heard aboutwhat we were doing through all
(07:08):
of this, and they asked us tocome and be the spokesperson for
the campaign for the state.
So we were the spokesperson forthat campaign for two years in a
row and traveled the state withthem.
And everything just kind ofreally, really took off from
there.
So we have been doing schoolprograms and community events
for five years, and then we alsohave our family assistance
(07:30):
program where we're walkingthrough this journey of grief
and loss with other families whoare experiencing the same thing.
And then we do collegescholarships as well.
Raylene Lewis (07:39):
Wow, that's amazing.
And you put together griefpackages and care packages.
Can you talk to me a little bitabout that as well as like how
you go through and you, youoffer paying for funeral
expenses in some cases.
Can you talk a little bit moreabout that?
Brianna McCulloch (07:55):
Yeah, so our family assistance program is
really individualized financialand emotional support for
families experiencing loss andhardship from vehicle crashes.
There may have been a fatality,there may not.
So it could be funeral expenses,it could be medical costs, grief
counseling, meals.
Maybe it's replacing loss ofincome while they're grieving or
(08:16):
while they're with their lovedone in the hospital.
But it's also.
How can we just be a support tothese families because they
really don't know what they needwhen they're you.
As you know, when you're goingthrough something traumatic, you
don't really know what you needin that moment because you're.
Your body and your brain adjustsand says, just focus on your
loved one or grieving in thatmoment, and that's what we want
(08:38):
you to do.
So as an example, right now wehave a father who just lost his
wife and baby in a crash.
His three-year-old is incritical condition in the
hospital, and the funeral forhis wife and baby is tomorrow
and Saturday.
And he was.
He was like, what do I do?
I don't, I can't leave mythree-year-old.
I don't want my three-year-oldto be without somebody at the
(08:59):
hospital.
And so we're gonna step in anddo that for him.
We're gonna stay with his childat the hospital for two days.
And we're gonna bring in some ofour other families who've
experienced this before, who canstay with this child care for
him while his father's away.
And I mean, can you imagine whatit's like to turn your child
over to someone that you don'treally know that well?
(09:21):
But that's what we're here for.
We're here to just jump in andsay, what can I do to support
you so that you can handle thethings that are more important?
Raylene Lewis (09:30):
That's phenomenal.
It's, it's needed so, so badlyand it reminds me of another
conversation that we had which Ithink people can, can take to
heart and really think about inthe future when you're around
somebody who's gone through sucha traumatic event, injury or.
Loss.
You talked about the words thatyou use and how you know you're
(09:51):
careful on what to say and whatnot to say to someone who is
grieving.
Can you talk about that?
Because I thought that was soinsightful.
Brianna McCulloch (09:59):
It's not anyone's fault, the words that
they use because in a situationwhen you've had a friend or a
family member who loses a lovedone, you don't know what to say
and it's very.
Natural to just say, I'm sorry,they're in a better place.
What can we do to help you?
Those words, it's hard not toget upset, but you hear it a
(10:22):
million times and you, you know,it's like I could scream if
someone says she's in a betterplace again, you know, because I
don't want her to be in thatplace.
I want her to be here.
And so that's really difficult.
And then the word, I'm sorry, isthe first.
Your gut instinct is to say, I'msorry to anyone that loses
someone, but when what we'vediscovered over the last five
(10:42):
years is when you say, I'msorry, you're actually bringing
back up grief within them andyou're actually putting your
sadness back onto them.
And so it actually makes themmore sad.
And so trying to stay away fromthat and just saying, you know,
I'm praying for you.
I'm here for whatever you need.
(11:03):
You know, a lot of people.
Also disappear once the funeralhappens.
So trying to make an effort tosay, I'm gonna stick around
after that when they actuallyneed someone, because when that
settles down is the, one of thehardest times you really take a
big crash after that point.
And so it feels like the worldis, is spinning, but you, you're
stuck in one place.
(11:24):
And so just continuing to be asupport to that person and, and
never expecting there to be atimeframe in which you feel like
they should be.
Okay.
Raylene Lewis (11:34):
I think that's true.
People are like, well, you'regonna eventually get over it.
Right?
Or You have other children orstuff like that.
And I'm like, this is nothelpful Communication.
No.
Brianna McCulloch (11:45):
No it's not, and it's, it makes them
frustrated.
And what's sad is when someoneexperiences a traumatic loss or
something similar to what yourfamily is experiencing, they can
lose a lot of friends and familyin the process.
That they don't connect withanymore.
People that just don'tunderstand anymore, and that's
(12:05):
okay.
Some people feel like they'realmost grieving the loss of
their friends and family, andthey feel guilty for some reason
that maybe that connection isn'tas strong anymore.
But I think it's okay for peopleto understand that your
friendships are gonna change.
You're actually gonna connectwith new people that understand
what you're going through.
And there's nothing wrong withthat.
Raylene Lewis (12:24):
You're absolutely right, because we had people.
When Kyler first had hishemorrhage that we thought would
be around or we thought wouldreach out to us or talk to us,
and they just totallydisappeared.
I mean, and that hurt because wehad people who we thought were
our friends who turned out notto be.
But absolutely in the long run,the group that we surround
(12:44):
ourself with now are far better,you know, reliable people that
we know we could count on at anytime.
But the learning process and thelearning curve was, was super,
super hard for that.
Brianna McCulloch (12:55):
So there's a family that lost a child that
actually started a book series.
It's called Hope Unshakable.
And they tried to tailor it toeveryone in the family.
So a lot of times it was justtailored to parents and they
wanted to have something forkids too.
So they have hope unshakablebooks for siblings.
If you lost a sibling they haveit for parents.
Obviously they lost a child andthey have it for grandparents
(13:17):
that lost a grandchild.
So we send books based on whatthey need and, and the pe you
know, who in their family wouldlike to have one.
And then we also always send aJesus calling book as just a way
for people to.
You know, lean on their faith intimes like this because if you
don't have faith, I feel likethe journey is very difficult.
(13:37):
And then we send a clingingcross, which is a cross that you
can hold in your hand when youjust are feeling moments of.
Sadness, loss, grief, fear,anger, whatever it is, you can
hold that in your hand and justpray and just remember that God
is on your side.
And then we send some thingsthat may just help them in the,
(13:57):
this is for more of a, in, inthe moment, right after loss.
We might send candles, bathbombs vitamins, melatonin to
help them sleep.
Really thinking about kind ofthe emotions that they're
experiencing and how can we helpease that, even just for a
moment.
Tissues things, you know, justthings that might comfort them
(14:19):
for even just a minute.
So it's, it's just to say wecare.
We also send a list of resourcesfor them, grief counseling maybe
a grief retreat.
We send them a life after losschecklist, which is, you know,
if they've lost someone.
There's a lot of things youdon't think about that.
You can do, you know, cancelingdoctor's appointments that might
(14:39):
have been in the future, thatwould be really painful if they
called to check on that.
So there's a list of things thatyou can actually take that list
and assign it to someone who hassaid, how can I help give them
the list and say, this is whereyou can start and let them check
off those things.
So we have a list that weprovide as well, and we also
provide some links to.
(15:00):
How to write an obituary and howto plan a funeral so that people
don't have to go searching forthat stuff.
Raylene Lewis (15:05):
It, it's just obvious that you care so much
because you understand what the,what the person is experiencing
because your family has beenthere.
And I think that's somethingthat a lot of people who are
going through a trying time needis to know that, okay, I'm
surrounded by other people whohave been through the same sort
(15:26):
of thing or who are goingthrough the same sort of thing
that I'm going through.
Cuz it's just so easy to feelalone during that time or to
feel like nobody understands.
Right?
Nobody could possiblyunderstand, you know, where I'm
at or what I'm doing.
Brianna McCulloch (15:39):
Within days after, when Kailee's dad said,
you know, we really need to dosomething here.
He said, you know what?
What can we, what symbol can weuse as something recognizable
that could remind people to puttheir seatbelt on or to check on
their passengers?
And he said, there's awarenessribbons for everything.
There's bound to be one for seatbelts.
And he went looking for one andthere wasn't.
(16:00):
So he said, okay, well let's.
Let's make one.
So the ribbon looks like aseatbelt, so it, it kind of go,
run, goes around and then clicksin the middle.
We chose mint green because thatwas Kailee's color, her favorite
color, and it's unique, and wereally didn't ever find any
other mint green ribbons.
And so we started handing thoseout by the tens of thousands so
(16:22):
that we could get them onvehicles and remind people, and
that is really where thecommunity said.
You know, this is, this isreally great what you guys are
doing.
And so now you know, I mean,our, our ultimate mission is to
save lives around the world.
And so we want that ribbon to bethe nationally recognized symbol
for seatbelt safety.
So when anyone sees it, theyimmediately think, do I have my
(16:46):
seatbelt on?
Is everyone in my car buckledup?
And ultimately we'll save lives.
Raylene Lewis (16:51):
That's fabulous.
And if somebody wanted moreinformation they wanted to reach
out, they were like, Hey, Iwanna donate to the program.
Or, Hey, I wanna see whatmaterials you have to see if I
can use them to help you know,my loved one, or to make sure my
school knew about them so thatyou could come and talk to my
school.
Where would they go?
Brianna McCulloch (17:08):
Yeah, our website is kailee mills
foundation.org, and that's K A IL E E M I L L S foundation.org.
And all of that information isthere.
We have links for all of ourdifferent programs and how to
request one.
If there's a family who's beenimpacted by a vehicle crash that
needs help, there's a page ofinformation where they can
(17:30):
actually fill out a requestform.
For that or just learn more orget the resources.
They're all linked there aswell.
And of course people can contactus on our website if they have
any questions.
And follow us on social media.
Raylene Lewis (17:41):
Well, you are amazing for putting this all
together and thank you so muchfor all you do on that car
accidents.
They can, they can be like thatstroke, that line in the sand
where it's all before or afterthe event occurred, and it's
really nice to know that there'sa group out there that's ready,
willing, and able to support if,if that, if you are someone you
know is, is in that situation
Brianna McCulloch (18:01):
and you never know what's gonna happen,
whether it's the driver of yourcar or somebody else that you
have no control over.
So protecting yourself.
And, and realizing that it's notalways about you.
It's not about a ticket.
It's about your loved ones thatwill go on grieving forever when
you're not here.
And that pain is soindescribable.
(18:23):
And so just protecting yourselfand remembering that to remind
everyone in the car with youtoo, they matter.
And just buckle up.
All the time, no matter whereyou're sitting.
And remember to tell others.
Raylene Lewis (18:36):
Thank you.
Thank you for your time today.
Thank you.
In chapter 11 of our focus book,Suffer Strong.
Katherine says The world ismissing something valuable if
people are not able to recognizeand use their talents and gifts.
Pain is a platform.
She says the world needs moretrue and vulnerable.
(18:56):
Stories of loss and strugglewoven through healing and hope.
Katherine explains that althoughit may not be an easy one, there
is a path laid out for everyperson.
It can be such a hard path thatwe may be tempted to quit or
change course, but there is noneed to waste energy calculating
who is farther along in theirpath or whose path looks easier.
(19:19):
Or better than ours.
She refers to a verse inGalatians in the Bible that
says, make a careful explorationof who you are and the work you
have been given, and then do notcompare yourself with others.
Each person must takeresponsibility for doing the
creative best you can with yourown life.
(19:40):
Katherine says in our search forour calling and purpose, the
best place for us to look isright in front of us.
Our limitations don't have to beour losses.
They can be the avenues to ourflourishing.
If we have a pulse, we have apurpose.
She says, we are here becausethere's more to life for us to
(20:01):
experience and more for us todo, and more love for us to
give.
When we have lived throughsuffering, we think the end goal
is to be comforted so that wecan be comfortable, but we are
not the beginning or end of oursuffering.
This is why community isabsolutely necessary.
You do not gain a trueperspective on all you have been
(20:22):
given, and you are not able todo everything by yourself.
So our deepest hopes and fearsmust be shared with each other.
When you take the time to hearthe stories of struggle and loss
and the stories of flourishingthrough suffering, your own
calling becomes clear.
Today's quote is by RonaldReagan.
(20:45):
We can't help everyone.
But everyone can help someone.
I always like to end our timetogether with a motivational
song recommendation.
I don't play the songs becauseof copyright laws, but there
have been many times on thisjourney where a song really
spoke out to me and help me withmy day.
Today I'm recommending you checkout.
(21:07):
"I said hi" by Australiansongwriter Amy Shark from her
2018 album.
Love Monster.
Amy says it is a song she wroteas an anthem for anyone who is
waking up every day fighting forwhat they believe in and
challenging the universe.
And as always, if you havequestions, have a topic you
(21:28):
would like to hear about, or agreat song or motivational
quote, don't be shy.
Share it in the comments and letus know.
And if you liked what you heardtoday, please go online and rate
this podcast.
Remember, you're never walkingthis journey alone.
Take care of y'all.
Hi there, and thank you for joining us on AVM
Alliance, a pediatric strokepodcast for families and friends
whose lives have been affectedby traumatic brain injury, brain
vessel disease, or stroke.
The purpose of this podcast isto focus on the kid's side of
brain injury with honest TalkNews, information and discussion
for our community.
(00:23):
Being a parent of a medicallycomplex child is an extremely
difficult path to suddenly findyourself on.
I'm Raylene Lewis and my son,Kyler, suffered a hemorrhagic
stroke at age 15.
Thank you for joining us.
In brain news researchers haverecently performed a successful
surgery to repair a vein ofGalen malformation in a baby's
(00:45):
brain before birth.
A vein of Galen malformation,also called vogm, is most often
first diagnosed from a prenatalultrasound, and later confirmed
with an MRI during the thirdtrimester of pregnancy.
A vein of Galen malformation isa condition in which arteries
bringing high flow, highpressure blood to the brain from
(01:06):
the heart, connect directly withone of the main collecting veins
deep at the base of the brainrather than to capillaries which
slow blood flow and deliveroxygen to surrounding brain
tissue.
Due to the changes a baby goesthrough during and after the
birth process, the high flow inthe malformation has a more
serious effect on the heart andbrain after birth, which puts a
(01:30):
lot of pressure on a newborn'sheart and lungs.
This can cause permanent damage.
The researchers were able tosuccessfully perform an
embolization in utero.
After birth, the newborn had anormal neurological exam and
showed no stroke, fluid buildupor hemorrhage on a brain mri.
This baby was the first treatedpatient in a clinical trial that
(01:52):
is currently underway at BostonChildren's Hospital and Brigham
and Women's Hospital.
It is estimated that VOGM, themost common congenital vascular
brain malformation, occurs in asmany as one in every 60,000
births.
A link to this study is in thedescription of this podcast, The
(02:13):
AVM Alliance podcast brings alltypes of guests to tell their
story.
This month I had the pleasure ofvisiting with Brianna
McCullough, who runs the KaileeMills Foundation.
This foundation is so veryimportant because their mission
to save lives one seatbelt clickat a time, truly applies to us
all.
I am so excited to have youtoday on our podcast.
(02:35):
Thank you for joining us.
Thank you for having me.
Absolutely.
You know, we are a strokepodcast typically, but we're
also involved with traumaticbrain injury and reaching out
and dealing with those parentsas well.
And gosh, I just think everybodyshould listen to your story
because the foundation that youhave put together is something
(02:56):
that everybody can relate to.
Brianna McCulloch (03:00):
Yes, thank you.
So Kailee is actually my niece.
And five years ago she, it wasOctober, 2017 and she was riding
in the car with three of herfriends.
She was in the backseat and she,they actually all had their seat
belts on, but she took herseatbelt off just for a moment
to slide over and take a selfiewith her friend in the backseat.
(03:22):
They were in their Halloweencostumes.
And in that split second, thedriver ran off the road.
He took a curve too quick, andthe car flipped front to back.
Because Kailee was not wearingher seatbelt.
She was ejected and killed, andher three friends in the vehicle
all walked away with somescratches and bruises and really
weren't injured.
(03:43):
And so we knew that had she hadher seatbelt on in that moment,
she would have survived thatcrash.
So, you know, because of thatsplit second decision, She lost
her life at 16 and what ended upkilling her was as she was
ejected from the vehicle, fromhitting her head on the glass on
(04:04):
the way out she did get atraumatic brain injury and they
ultimately determined that thatis what killed her.
And through the work that theKailee Mills Foundation has been
doing over the last five years,we have encountered so many
families that have.
Experience the same thing.
Either fatality from traumaticbrain injury or serious
(04:26):
traumatic brain injuries thatthey have been hospitalized for
extended period of time.
And have recovered, but stillhave a long, long road of
recovery ahead of them.
And so we have a familyassistance program where we
assist families, whether it'sfatality or injury, but it's
something that we see over andover and you know, you only get
one brain.
(04:47):
So it's in our world withvehicle crashes is just trying
to get people to understand thatthe preventative measure of a
seatbelt can save you from thedamage to your brain.
Raylene Lewis (04:59):
Absolutely.
And I just have to say, I am soimpressed with your foundation
and everything that you'redoing.
I mean, seatbelt safety is justsomething we should all think
about.
Sometimes as caregivers, we'rejust trying to survive in
seatbelt safety.
I'm like, I'm hurrying.
I'm trying to get to thetherapist, or I'm trying to make
sure that we're taking care ofthings and I need to look and
(05:19):
say, Hey, you know, is theperson that I'm taking care of,
do they have their seatbelt?
Do I have my seatbelt on?
Because like you said, yourniece.
She was very close to home whenthis happened, right?
Yes.
And it just shows that anaccident can, can happen
anywhere at any time.
You do a lot of education aswell for schools.
Can you talk to me a little bitabout what you offer?
Brianna McCulloch (05:40):
Yes.
So within days after the crashKailee's dad was driving by the
cross.
As you said, it was 500 yardsfrom her home, right outside of
the neighborhood.
On a 30 mile an hour side roadat, you know, a place where most
people would say, oh, I'll befine without my seatbelt.
And that's not the case.
So they drive by it every day.
(06:02):
And as he was driving by thecross, there was about 200 kids
that were just.
Surrounding the cross, sittingthere praying grieving the loss
of their friend.
And he said, you know, I reallyneed to stop and talk to these
kids.
And, and I mean, think aboutthat.
This is two days after he justlost his daughter.
And so he stopped and he startedtalking to them about how
important it's to wear yourseatbelt, how important it's to
(06:24):
protect yourself.
Life can change in an instant.
And the kids really, really tookto the message.
And so he said, you know what?
We need to talk to kids aboutthis because they're.
Too many kids are dying fromthis.
And so we started up our schoolprograms where we just went and
started doing safety talks tothese kids, showing them videos
of Kaylee, talking to themabout, you know, something they
(06:46):
can relate to.
They look at Kailee and they seethemselves in her photo and her
videos, and so that reallystarted to go overwhelm.
We created the SeatbeltAwareness ribbon and we started
spreading that throughout thecommunity, and the community
wanted more and more of it.
And so Texas Department ofTransportation Clicker Ticket
Campaign actually heard aboutwhat we were doing through all
(07:08):
of this, and they asked us tocome and be the spokesperson for
the campaign for the state.
So we were the spokesperson forthat campaign for two years in a
row and traveled the state withthem.
And everything just kind ofreally, really took off from
there.
So we have been doing schoolprograms and community events
for five years, and then we alsohave our family assistance
(07:30):
program where we're walkingthrough this journey of grief
and loss with other families whoare experiencing the same thing.
And then we do collegescholarships as well.
Raylene Lewis (07:39):
Wow, that's amazing.
And you put together griefpackages and care packages.
Can you talk to me a little bitabout that as well as like how
you go through and you, youoffer paying for funeral
expenses in some cases.
Can you talk a little bit moreabout that?
Brianna McCulloch (07:55):
Yeah, so our family assistance program is
really individualized financialand emotional support for
families experiencing loss andhardship from vehicle crashes.
There may have been a fatality,there may not.
So it could be funeral expenses,it could be medical costs, grief
counseling, meals.
Maybe it's replacing loss ofincome while they're grieving or
(08:16):
while they're with their lovedone in the hospital.
But it's also.
How can we just be a support tothese families because they
really don't know what they needwhen they're you.
As you know, when you're goingthrough something traumatic, you
don't really know what you needin that moment because you're.
Your body and your brain adjustsand says, just focus on your
loved one or grieving in thatmoment, and that's what we want
(08:38):
you to do.
So as an example, right now wehave a father who just lost his
wife and baby in a crash.
His three-year-old is incritical condition in the
hospital, and the funeral forhis wife and baby is tomorrow
and Saturday.
And he was.
He was like, what do I do?
I don't, I can't leave mythree-year-old.
I don't want my three-year-oldto be without somebody at the
(08:59):
hospital.
And so we're gonna step in anddo that for him.
We're gonna stay with his childat the hospital for two days.
And we're gonna bring in some ofour other families who've
experienced this before, who canstay with this child care for
him while his father's away.
And I mean, can you imagine whatit's like to turn your child
over to someone that you don'treally know that well?
(09:21):
But that's what we're here for.
We're here to just jump in andsay, what can I do to support
you so that you can handle thethings that are more important?
Raylene Lewis (09:30):
That's phenomenal.
It's, it's needed so, so badlyand it reminds me of another
conversation that we had which Ithink people can, can take to
heart and really think about inthe future when you're around
somebody who's gone through sucha traumatic event, injury or.
Loss.
You talked about the words thatyou use and how you know you're
(09:51):
careful on what to say and whatnot to say to someone who is
grieving.
Can you talk about that?
Because I thought that was soinsightful.
Brianna McCulloch (09:59):
It's not anyone's fault, the words that
they use because in a situationwhen you've had a friend or a
family member who loses a lovedone, you don't know what to say
and it's very.
Natural to just say, I'm sorry,they're in a better place.
What can we do to help you?
Those words, it's hard not toget upset, but you hear it a
(10:22):
million times and you, you know,it's like I could scream if
someone says she's in a betterplace again, you know, because I
don't want her to be in thatplace.
I want her to be here.
And so that's really difficult.
And then the word, I'm sorry, isthe first.
Your gut instinct is to say, I'msorry to anyone that loses
someone, but when what we'vediscovered over the last five
(10:42):
years is when you say, I'msorry, you're actually bringing
back up grief within them andyou're actually putting your
sadness back onto them.
And so it actually makes themmore sad.
And so trying to stay away fromthat and just saying, you know,
I'm praying for you.
I'm here for whatever you need.
(11:03):
You know, a lot of people.
Also disappear once the funeralhappens.
So trying to make an effort tosay, I'm gonna stick around
after that when they actuallyneed someone, because when that
settles down is the, one of thehardest times you really take a
big crash after that point.
And so it feels like the worldis, is spinning, but you, you're
stuck in one place.
(11:24):
And so just continuing to be asupport to that person and, and
never expecting there to be atimeframe in which you feel like
they should be.
Okay.
Raylene Lewis (11:34):
I think that's true.
People are like, well, you'regonna eventually get over it.
Right?
Or You have other children orstuff like that.
And I'm like, this is nothelpful Communication.
No.
Brianna McCulloch (11:45):
No it's not, and it's, it makes them
frustrated.
And what's sad is when someoneexperiences a traumatic loss or
something similar to what yourfamily is experiencing, they can
lose a lot of friends and familyin the process.
That they don't connect withanymore.
People that just don'tunderstand anymore, and that's
(12:05):
okay.
Some people feel like they'realmost grieving the loss of
their friends and family, andthey feel guilty for some reason
that maybe that connection isn'tas strong anymore.
But I think it's okay for peopleto understand that your
friendships are gonna change.
You're actually gonna connectwith new people that understand
what you're going through.
And there's nothing wrong withthat.
Raylene Lewis (12:24):
You're absolutely right, because we had people.
When Kyler first had hishemorrhage that we thought would
be around or we thought wouldreach out to us or talk to us,
and they just totallydisappeared.
I mean, and that hurt because wehad people who we thought were
our friends who turned out notto be.
But absolutely in the long run,the group that we surround
(12:44):
ourself with now are far better,you know, reliable people that
we know we could count on at anytime.
But the learning process and thelearning curve was, was super,
super hard for that.
Brianna McCulloch (12:55):
So there's a family that lost a child that
actually started a book series.
It's called Hope Unshakable.
And they tried to tailor it toeveryone in the family.
So a lot of times it was justtailored to parents and they
wanted to have something forkids too.
So they have hope unshakablebooks for siblings.
If you lost a sibling they haveit for parents.
Obviously they lost a child andthey have it for grandparents
(13:17):
that lost a grandchild.
So we send books based on whatthey need and, and the pe you
know, who in their family wouldlike to have one.
And then we also always send aJesus calling book as just a way
for people to.
You know, lean on their faith intimes like this because if you
don't have faith, I feel likethe journey is very difficult.
(13:37):
And then we send a clingingcross, which is a cross that you
can hold in your hand when youjust are feeling moments of.
Sadness, loss, grief, fear,anger, whatever it is, you can
hold that in your hand and justpray and just remember that God
is on your side.
And then we send some thingsthat may just help them in the,
(13:57):
this is for more of a, in, inthe moment, right after loss.
We might send candles, bathbombs vitamins, melatonin to
help them sleep.
Really thinking about kind ofthe emotions that they're
experiencing and how can we helpease that, even just for a
moment.
Tissues things, you know, justthings that might comfort them
(14:19):
for even just a minute.
So it's, it's just to say wecare.
We also send a list of resourcesfor them, grief counseling maybe
a grief retreat.
We send them a life after losschecklist, which is, you know,
if they've lost someone.
There's a lot of things youdon't think about that.
You can do, you know, cancelingdoctor's appointments that might
(14:39):
have been in the future, thatwould be really painful if they
called to check on that.
So there's a list of things thatyou can actually take that list
and assign it to someone who hassaid, how can I help give them
the list and say, this is whereyou can start and let them check
off those things.
So we have a list that weprovide as well, and we also
provide some links to.
(15:00):
How to write an obituary and howto plan a funeral so that people
don't have to go searching forthat stuff.
Raylene Lewis (15:05):
It, it's just obvious that you care so much
because you understand what the,what the person is experiencing
because your family has beenthere.
And I think that's somethingthat a lot of people who are
going through a trying time needis to know that, okay, I'm
surrounded by other people whohave been through the same sort
(15:26):
of thing or who are goingthrough the same sort of thing
that I'm going through.
Cuz it's just so easy to feelalone during that time or to
feel like nobody understands.
Right?
Nobody could possiblyunderstand, you know, where I'm
at or what I'm doing.
Brianna McCulloch (15:39):
Within days after, when Kailee's dad said,
you know, we really need to dosomething here.
He said, you know what?
What can we, what symbol can weuse as something recognizable
that could remind people to puttheir seatbelt on or to check on
their passengers?
And he said, there's awarenessribbons for everything.
There's bound to be one for seatbelts.
And he went looking for one andthere wasn't.
(16:00):
So he said, okay, well let's.
Let's make one.
So the ribbon looks like aseatbelt, so it, it kind of go,
run, goes around and then clicksin the middle.
We chose mint green because thatwas Kailee's color, her favorite
color, and it's unique, and wereally didn't ever find any
other mint green ribbons.
And so we started handing thoseout by the tens of thousands so
(16:22):
that we could get them onvehicles and remind people, and
that is really where thecommunity said.
You know, this is, this isreally great what you guys are
doing.
And so now you know, I mean,our, our ultimate mission is to
save lives around the world.
And so we want that ribbon to bethe nationally recognized symbol
for seatbelt safety.
So when anyone sees it, theyimmediately think, do I have my
(16:46):
seatbelt on?
Is everyone in my car buckledup?
And ultimately we'll save lives.
Raylene Lewis (16:51):
That's fabulous.
And if somebody wanted moreinformation they wanted to reach
out, they were like, Hey, Iwanna donate to the program.
Or, Hey, I wanna see whatmaterials you have to see if I
can use them to help you know,my loved one, or to make sure my
school knew about them so thatyou could come and talk to my
school.
Where would they go?
Brianna McCulloch (17:08):
Yeah, our website is kailee mills
foundation.org, and that's K A IL E E M I L L S foundation.org.
And all of that information isthere.
We have links for all of ourdifferent programs and how to
request one.
If there's a family who's beenimpacted by a vehicle crash that
needs help, there's a page ofinformation where they can
(17:30):
actually fill out a requestform.
For that or just learn more orget the resources.
They're all linked there aswell.
And of course people can contactus on our website if they have
any questions.
And follow us on social media.
Raylene Lewis (17:41):
Well, you are amazing for putting this all
together and thank you so muchfor all you do on that car
accidents.
They can, they can be like thatstroke, that line in the sand
where it's all before or afterthe event occurred, and it's
really nice to know that there'sa group out there that's ready,
willing, and able to support if,if that, if you are someone you
know is, is in that situation
Brianna McCulloch (18:01):
and you never know what's gonna happen,
whether it's the driver of yourcar or somebody else that you
have no control over.
So protecting yourself.
And, and realizing that it's notalways about you.
It's not about a ticket.
It's about your loved ones thatwill go on grieving forever when
you're not here.
And that pain is soindescribable.
(18:23):
And so just protecting yourselfand remembering that to remind
everyone in the car with youtoo, they matter.
And just buckle up.
All the time, no matter whereyou're sitting.
And remember to tell others.
Raylene Lewis (18:36):
Thank you.
Thank you for your time today.
Thank you.
In chapter 11 of our focus book,Suffer Strong.
Katherine says The world ismissing something valuable if
people are not able to recognizeand use their talents and gifts.
Pain is a platform.
She says the world needs moretrue and vulnerable.
(18:56):
Stories of loss and strugglewoven through healing and hope.
Katherine explains that althoughit may not be an easy one, there
is a path laid out for everyperson.
It can be such a hard path thatwe may be tempted to quit or
change course, but there is noneed to waste energy calculating
who is farther along in theirpath or whose path looks easier.
(19:19):
Or better than ours.
She refers to a verse inGalatians in the Bible that
says, make a careful explorationof who you are and the work you
have been given, and then do notcompare yourself with others.
Each person must takeresponsibility for doing the
creative best you can with yourown life.
(19:40):
Katherine says in our search forour calling and purpose, the
best place for us to look isright in front of us.
Our limitations don't have to beour losses.
They can be the avenues to ourflourishing.
If we have a pulse, we have apurpose.
She says, we are here becausethere's more to life for us to
(20:01):
experience and more for us todo, and more love for us to
give.
When we have lived throughsuffering, we think the end goal
is to be comforted so that wecan be comfortable, but we are
not the beginning or end of oursuffering.
This is why community isabsolutely necessary.
You do not gain a trueperspective on all you have been
(20:22):
given, and you are not able todo everything by yourself.
So our deepest hopes and fearsmust be shared with each other.
When you take the time to hearthe stories of struggle and loss
and the stories of flourishingthrough suffering, your own
calling becomes clear.
Today's quote is by RonaldReagan.
(20:45):
We can't help everyone.
But everyone can help someone.
I always like to end our timetogether with a motivational
song recommendation.
I don't play the songs becauseof copyright laws, but there
have been many times on thisjourney where a song really
spoke out to me and help me withmy day.
Today I'm recommending you checkout.
(21:07):
"I said hi" by Australiansongwriter Amy Shark from her
2018 album.
Love Monster.
Amy says it is a song she wroteas an anthem for anyone who is
waking up every day fighting forwhat they believe in and
challenging the universe.
And as always, if you havequestions, have a topic you
(21:28):
would like to hear about, or agreat song or motivational
quote, don't be shy.
Share it in the comments and letus know.
And if you liked what you heardtoday, please go online and rate
this podcast.
Remember, you're never walkingthis journey alone.
Take care of y'all.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.