When Love Feels Unsafe: Healing Shame and Learning to Trust Again

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Have you ever pulled away from your spouse’s affection…
—even though part of you wanted it?

Or maybe they offer something kind—a compliment, a hug, a moment of connection—and your whole body tenses or recoils?

You’re not alone.
And you’re not broken.

This week on the podcast, I’m exploring a concept that’s been deeply eye-opening for me—and for so many of my clients:

What if you’re not resisting love… you’re resisting the pain that once came with it?

Maybe “love” used to mean:

• Pressure to perform
• Conditional affection
• Being needed more than being known
• Or being told what’s “best” for you while your voice was dismissed

So now, even healthy love can feel like a threat.
Your nervous system doesn’t recognize it as safe—it recognizes it as familiar.
And familiar, in this case, feels risky.

In this episode, I walk through:

• Why shame and unhealed stories distort how we give and receive love
• How past experiences can cause us to resist connection—even when we long for it
• And the steps we can take to gently start healing and creating safety again

If you’ve ever wondered why love feels complicated, this might be the insight you didn’t know you needed.

This episode is a little tender, a little exploratory, and I truly believe it might unlock something powerful for you—just like it did for me.

CBS News Interview: 6 Tips For A Healthy & Loving Relationship

Unlock deeper connection in your marriage with my free guide, Daily Prompts for Deeper Connection with Your Spouse—get it now!

Start feeling more connected and loved in your marriage today with my free Reclaim More Love in Just 3 Days process. This process will have you learning how to shift your focus, in a healthy way, and nurture thoughts that build connection and transform how you feel about your marriage.

More resources and how you can start the process of Awakening(YourTrue)You and being the partner who creates your best version of what marriage looks like for you: https://christinebongiovanni.com/

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