When One Spouse Won’t Admit Their Part: A Conversation with My Husband

Have you ever wished your spouse would just see their part?

You try to talk about the struggles in your marriage, hoping they’ll acknowledge how their actions (or inactions) are affecting you. But instead, they dismiss it. Defend themselves. Maybe even turn it back on you. And you’re left feeling unheard, unseen, and like you’re carrying the weight of the relationship all by yourself.

I know that feeling. I lived it.

For years, I felt like I was the one always reflecting, always working, always trying to figure things out—while Jeff seemed… fine. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, but he wasn’t seeing his part in our struggles. And because of that, I stayed in a protective stance, bracing myself for disappointment.

Until something shifted.

For the first time, Jeff admitted his own brokenness in a way I had never heard before. And in that moment, something inside me changed. My body relaxed. My heart softened. And I felt a sense of safety I didn’t even realize I was craving.

So I sat down with Jeff for an open, honest conversation about what changed.

• Why was it so hard for him to admit his own struggles before?
• What was actually going on inside of him when he resisted seeing his part?
• And what finally helped him get to a place where he could take ownership?

I didn’t hold back in this conversation, and neither did he.

If you’ve ever wondered why your spouse doesn’t seem to see their own contribution to the disconnection, or if you’ve been waiting (and waiting) for them to finally get it, this episode is one you need to hear.

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