#15: The List Was Never Real

This episode contains explicit language, strong political opinions, and satirical discussion of real-world events including violence, civil rights issues, and government action.
Listener discretion is strongly advised.

Awkward Positions is a political satire podcast. The views expressed are personal opinions, often exaggerated for comedic or critical effect, and do not constitute verified reporting. This show may not be suitable for all audiences. Do your own research.

This week, Chris and Joe take a look around and agree—everything just feels off. From Elon Musk launching a third party, to Trump’s Epstein silence unraveling MAGA loyalty, to ICE raids shutting down cannabis farms and terrorizing immigrant communities, the world feels upside down.

They cover political missteps, misinformation fatigue, Brazil’s coffee tariffs, and one of the week’s darkest headlines: a July 4th ambush on an ICE facility that barely made the news. Add in a bit of historical trivia, Texas pride, and gas station respect, and you’ve got one hell of a week.

00:00 – Surreal Opening Vibes
The hosts open with weird rhythms and an existential metaphor: “We are the smudge on your fingertips.”

01:52 – Post-4th Mood Check
Chris shares thoughts on emotional burnout and America’s political spiral.

05:39 – Epstein, Trump, and a Base Divided
Trump’s credibility collapses over Epstein list confusion, splitting MAGA into factions.

10:24 – Elon Musk Starts the America Party
Could Musk’s third party tilt future elections by peeling MAGA voters away?

14:57 – ICE Raids Spark Resistance and Legal Action
A federal judge halts unconstitutional ICE tactics in California; cannabis farms raided.

21:10 – Brazil Tariffs and the Coming Coffee Crisis
Why your cup of coffee might be the next victim of Trump’s trade war.

28:46 – The Enlightenment Was Powered by Coffee
History lesson: how Europe’s transition from beer to coffee helped birth democracy.

33:06 – Economics of Caffeine
Why tariffing Brazil backfires across coffee, energy drinks, and even meat and juice.

40:43 – Profiling and the Constitution
ICE faces legal blowback for racial profiling. Also: “Tom Holland” the ICE director?

45:10 – July 4th Attack on ICE Facility
A violent ambush on a Texas detention center barely breaks the news cycle.

50:57 – Militia Logic and the 2nd Amendment
How “tyranny” is being interpreted to justify armed response to immigration enforcement.

52:10 – First They Came
A sobering reading of Niemöller’s poem offers historical context—and a warning.

54:03 – ⚡ Lightning Round Highlights
– Grōk goes full fascist
– Rosie O'Donnell faces “de-naturalization”
– RFK Jr. reverses on “poison food”
– Republicans blame Canada for wildfire smoke
– Cruz vacations through disaster (again)
– FEMA under fire
– Texas kids raise $440K with lemonade stands

1:14:06 – BUC-EE’S: Gas Station Legend
Buc-ee’s bathrooms and branding. Respect where it’s due.