September 26, 2023 • 25 mins
In this episode, we meet Andreka Jasek, a multifaceted individual whose journey through education and career exemplifies resilience and determination. Her story begins as a high school dropout who enrolls in an alternative school and completes both her junior and senior years in just 9 months, showcasing the transformative power of determination and alternative education.
In addition to her educational journey, Andreka is also a talented musician. She shares her experiences in the music industry and how it intertwines with her mission to help those struggling with addiction as a therapist specializing in this field.
The conversation covers a range of topics, including substance abuse, relationships, self-love, and the importance of balance in life. Andreka offers valuable insights into the challenges faced by her clients and provides practical solutions for overcoming life's obstacles.
Furthermore, the episode explores the impact of technology on the younger generation's mental health, emphasizing the need for mindful use. Join us for this enlightening conversation that encourages reevaluating education, career, and self-development.
You are sure to gain valuable insights from Andreka's journey of resilience, dedication, and passion.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Andrew Carroll (00:13):
Oh, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Axé All
Day Podcast.
It's your host, Andrew Carroll,and today I am joined by the
absolutely incredible Andreka.
Andreka, say your last name,Jasek.
That's what I was going to say,but I didn't want to butcher it
(00:33):
.
I know we had a conversation atStarbucks about we are not
sponsored by Starbucks.
Let me just get that.
We're definitely not about howoften your name gets butchered.
Andreka Jasek (00:43):
Yes, all the time .
Andrew Carroll (00:45):
All the time.
Andreka Jasek (00:46):
Pretty much every time I get a coffee.
Yeah.
Andrew Carroll (00:49):
And what's the origin of your name?
It's beautiful.
Andreka Jasek (00:52):
Thank you so much .
It's Polish.
Andrew Carroll (00:54):
Polish.
Do you speak Polish?
Andreka Jasek (00:56):
I speak Polish not very well.
Andrew Carroll (00:59):
Give us a little bit of really bad Polish.
Andreka Jasek (01:02):
Czest.
Andrew Carroll (01:04):
Hi Czest.
And Czenkuje, that means thankyou, so thank you for having me,
so tell the people a little bitabout you.
Andreka Jasek (01:11):
Hello people, my name is Andreka Jasek and I am
the guitar player for the NightCry.
Should I talk a little bitabout where we are?
Andrew Carroll (01:19):
Absolutely.
You should definitely tellpeople a little bit about where
we are.
Andreka Jasek (01:23):
In case anyone's wondering about this sweet
background.
So this is actually the highschool that I graduated from in
2000 something, and I have notbeen in here in a very long time
and this is freaking awesome.
Andrew Carroll (01:35):
I didn't graduate from this school.
I had never been here, butthere's always something really
wonderful about going back,because you can feel the energy
in a school like this and it wasan alternative school, right.
Andreka Jasek (01:46):
It was an alternative school and we're
actually on the third floorwhere students not me, but
students threw desks out thewindow.
Andrew Carroll (01:55):
Were they on fire.
Andreka Jasek (01:56):
They were not on fire.
Andrew Carroll (01:57):
OK, why is this so important to you?
Why was coming here to do thisepisode at this school?
Why did that mean so much toyou?
Andreka Jasek (02:04):
Well, firstly, I have a weird thing for, like,
older schools.
Andrew Carroll (02:09):
OK, are you seeing one right now?
Andreka Jasek (02:15):
Old school, and I mean for me.
I only went to this schoolduring my senior year and it was
such a formative time in mylife, so it was really special
to be able to come back in hereand do this podcast and walk
around a little bit.
And I saw that Iron Maiden isstill carved in the stairwell,
(02:35):
which is pretty sweet.
Andrew Carroll (02:36):
Yeah, right over there.
Right over there, as a matterof fact, I'm not moving the
camera, but it's right overthere.
I have some pictures of ittrying to get the good
reflection.
It's definitely been paintedover.
Andreka Jasek (02:45):
It has, but it's not been buffed out.
No, it shines through as IronMaiden does.
Yes.
Andrew Carroll (02:50):
I do.
Yes, they do.
Why were you at an alternativeschool?
Because I think what comes upfor most people when they hear
that is oh, there must have beenthe bad kid or this or that or
the other.
So what was?
What was going on with Briar?
Andreka Jasek (03:03):
That's a really good question and yes, I think
alternative school does tend toget a bad rap.
I went here because after mysophomore year I went to a
traditional high school.
I dropped out, was never ajunior, I was doing the music
thing and raised by a single mom.
You know she was like youbetter get your ass a job or get
(03:23):
out.
So during my entire junior yearI was applying for jobs that I
had no business applying for,like neuroscientists and just to
apply right.
You didn't say what kind of job.
So then it was time I was likeyou know what I got to graduate
high school.
So I came here because I wasable to do my junior and senior
year worth of credits in oneyear.
(03:45):
So I still graduated on time.
Andrew Carroll (03:47):
Workhorse, I know.
Andreka Jasek (03:49):
Well, there wasn't a ton of work.
It was a great experience, butit was definitely not
traditional high school.
Andrew Carroll (03:55):
What did that look like?
What were the classes?
How was that lined up?
You know what was it like.
Andreka Jasek (04:01):
It was, and I don't want to add more to the
bad rap of alternative highschool, but it was a little more
loose than traditional highschool, but it should be.
Andrew Carroll (04:10):
I think everyone can agree traditional education
is definitely a sharedexperience across the board for
most, almost everyone, probablyone of the few things that you
can say that everyone, almosteveryone, has experienced.
Children are not meant to learnstuck at a desk, motionless,
without interacting with theworld and touching and tasting
and engaging.
Andreka Jasek (04:29):
And.
Andrew Carroll (04:30):
I am a big fan of any alternative learning
solution Alternative schools,montessori.
I know some people have aproblem with that learning
modality but I think one of thebest ways that we learn and grow
is by doing things ourselvesand by doing things for
ourselves, and I think it shouldbe the role of the education
system to provide a safecontainer for kids to explore
(04:51):
that stuff and with a you know,a desired outcome of defining
what is it that you'reinterested in, that you love to
do, and how do we help you applythat in the grand scheme of
creating societal value, andthat's not what traditional
education is doing.
Andreka Jasek (05:06):
No, absolutely, and that's really well said.
Traditional high school wasdefinitely not for me.
Me either, and I do think thatcoming here was one of the first
times I really got to be inschool and work towards
something and still be myself.
Andrew Carroll (05:25):
I love that.
I just am letting that sink inthe first time that you got to
be in school and work towardssomething that was meaningful
for you.
Andreka Jasek (05:33):
Yeah, and I, you know, at that age 18, you know,
you don't, at least I didn'tknow what I was working towards,
but I was working towardssomething.
Andrew Carroll (05:42):
Right.
Andreka Jasek (05:42):
I knew I had to graduate high school and I did
through alternative school, oneparticularly good friend.
I sent her a picture that youknow we got in here and she's
like oh my gosh they called herlocker the bar.
Andrew Carroll (05:58):
Why?
Andreka Jasek (05:58):
We had contents in there, sometimes of the
drinking variety.
Andrew Carroll (06:02):
Okay, so just some, like good water and
Gatorade.
Andreka Jasek (06:04):
Yeah, water and Gatorade got to stay hydrated
you have to stay hydrated.
Andrew Carroll (06:07):
Speaking of which, I'm just going to call
this out now.
We were not prepared for howhot it was going to be in this
building.
Andreka Jasek (06:14):
Dude, I'm wearing a fucking sweatshirt.
Can I say that?
Andrew Carroll (06:16):
Yeah, you can say fuck all you want.
Andreka Jasek (06:18):
I am.
Yeah, it is hot in here andthere's like no airflow, no we
can't open the window either,because the ambient noise from
outside.
Andrew Carroll (06:27):
I am dripping sweat right now.
Andreka Jasek (06:29):
I know I'm like why did I wear this?
This is not the best decision.
It's a great sweater.
It's a great sweater, Thank you.
Andrew Carroll (06:36):
Yeah, I'm wearing a night cry shirt.
Andreka Jasek (06:39):
You are, that's a sweet shirt.
Andrew Carroll (06:40):
It is a sweet shirt.
Alternative school veryimpactful for you, allowed you
to finish your education.
At the time you were a workingmusician.
Andreka Jasek (06:49):
Yeah, I mean I was playing shows every weekend,
if not more.
And you know, again at that ageI was like, oh my gosh, I'm
going to be this huge rock star.
And I didn't know what thatmeant.
I just knew I wanted to playmusic and it was such an awesome
opportunity to be able to dothat.
And come to school and thisschool actually because it was
(07:09):
alternative they had a guitarprogram.
So I was like, oh, I'm going totake that class.
So I started that classpretending like I didn't know
how to play guitar and then atthe end I was doing like tapping
solos and they kind of caughton.
But I got a good grade.
That works.
Andrew Carroll (07:24):
Yeah, it was fun , that's.
I mean, that's kind of how Iwas able to do like grad school
so quickly too.
Was I only picked a degree path?
That was like stuff I alreadyknew.
After I reviewed the curriculumbefore I enrolled I was like,
oh, I can knock this out.
Andreka Jasek (07:38):
See, and that's one thing that alternative
school did teach me it's like tothink a little bit differently.
I wouldn't call it scheming.
It wasn't a scheme.
Andrew Carroll (07:45):
Oh, it's fine if it is Okay.
It was totally a scheme, let itbe.
Yeah, I was thinking about thisjust a little bit ago, while we
were in here.
We are an island of misfit toys,you know, and I wouldn't have
it any other way, because whatthat has allowed me to
experience as an adult is that Idon't need to fit into the
system to be long, and out herein Seattle, what I am finding is
(08:09):
that there's this amazingcommunity of former misfits who
have created this awesomecollective tribe of support and
unity and value and creation andart, and you're a huge part of
that and everybody that'sinvolved in the Night Cry and in
your community specifically,like.
I'm so blessed to be a part ofthe tribe truly because you're.
(08:30):
You are an amazing person andthat's why you're here.
Absolutely, and everyone thatyou've introduced me to and
connected me with has beenamazing too, and that's so
beautiful.
Andreka Jasek (08:39):
Yeah, and you know the Night Cry especially.
This is my 10 millionth band orwhatever.
Andrew Carroll (08:45):
I've been doing this for 10 million years.
Andreka Jasek (08:47):
We're very selective about who we, you know
.
We want people to be part ofthe experience.
So we really want you to beyourself, and it's hard for us
to reach out and find peoplelike you, because I feel that
sometimes it's not as easy to beopen and be yourself, you know,
but I feel we are creating alittle community here.
Andrew Carroll (09:10):
Very intentionally too.
I, ever since I met you guysand participated in the music
video, I've watched you makevery intelligent moves to
promote yourselves and toconnect and engage with people,
and you do it in this beautifulway.
That is a reciprocity of valuecreation without it being a
transactional relationship.
Andreka Jasek (09:31):
That's exactly what it is.
We create music because we loveit.
Andrew Carroll (09:34):
Yeah, you know.
Andreka Jasek (09:36):
I can't.
I tried to quit playing musiconce.
Andrew Carroll (09:38):
It didn't last very long.
Andreka Jasek (09:39):
So that part, yes , we love it.
But we're not like, hey, buyour shirt, love our band.
We're like we want you to bepart of this process.
Yeah we want you to show up asyourself, because that inspires
us.
Andrew Carroll (09:52):
That's so beautiful.
How did you guys come together?
Andreka Jasek (09:54):
Well, so I have known Vincent for I don't want
to say eons, but eons and it wasabout 10 years ago his old band
and my old band.
We played a show together and Iwas like one day we're going to
have a band together.
Literally, this was like 10years ago, okay.
And then I left my previousband and I was watching a Robert
Palmer video, addicted to love,and I was like, man, it'd be
(10:15):
sweet to have a girl band with amale singer.
I always had that idea.
Shannon and I just startedwriting songs and looking for
other members and then I waslike you know, we should reach
out to Vincent, met Sarahthrough the scene and met Hannah
, actually at a party of Sarah's, and I was like I was saying
something to someone about howwe need a keyboard player and
(10:38):
she was across the table andshe's like I'm classically
trained in piano and I was likeyou want to be in a band.
That's literally how ithappened.
Andrew Carroll (10:44):
And the rest is history.
Andreka Jasek (10:45):
The rest is history.
Andrew Carroll (10:46):
It's such good history.
Your music is phenomenal.
Andreka Jasek (10:50):
Thank you.
Andrew Carroll (10:50):
Yeah, the love shines through.
Yeah it's been so much fun tobe a part of it.
You know my little slice andyour big slice.
Andreka Jasek (10:59):
Thank you, thank you.
Andrew Carroll (11:00):
Thank you, thank you.
You are doing so many thingsright now that create a large
value for society.
You work at a rehab clinic, youare in school to be a therapist
, you are crushing it in thisband and you also have a music
promotion like consultingbusiness and more.
So I want to break down alittle bit of each thing that
(11:22):
you're doing.
And then I also want to knowwas being in alternative school
and having that path?
Is that part of why it'simportant to you to be involved
as a therapist?
What does that look like?
What's your why?
Andreka Jasek (11:34):
That's a really good question.
When I was in high school, Iwas already counseling people.
I just, you know, I was alwayslike tell me about your feelings
.
Andrew Carroll (11:43):
How can we work through this?
Andreka Jasek (11:44):
So I always had that part of me, even you know,
like before that middle school,I wanted to be subscribed to
psychology.
Today, so, wanting to hearpeople's truths and what they
want to do, to be there, livetheir best life, has always been
part of me and, like highschool, I didn't do a
traditional college thing.
I went through severaldifferent schools.
(12:06):
I actually dropped out ofcollege twice because I couldn't
speak in front of the classPublic speaking assignment.
I literally dropped out ofcollege twice.
Andrew Carroll (12:16):
Okay, that's mind blowing Because, with a
guitar on stage, I would neverin my life think that you were
nervous.
And to me engage with you oneon one.
You're very, very powerfulhuman being.
Thank you.
Andreka Jasek (12:26):
Yeah, the guitar and music, I think, was always
different for me.
Andrew Carroll (12:30):
Okay.
Andreka Jasek (12:31):
But going up in school.
I can do it now, but I had todrop out of school twice you
know, and then it was like thisis what I want to do.
I finally found my place, andwhy not do it with entertainers?
I really, I mean, that's wheremy heart is.
Yeah, so I have six more monthsof grad school, and then there
I am licensing.
It'll be a licensed mentalhealth counselor, okay
(12:53):
Washington.
Andrew Carroll (12:54):
Okay, and are you going to start your own
practice right away?
You're going to work for anorganization?
What area specifically?
I know you just said that youwant to work with entertainers
any specific subset of thatgroup?
Andreka Jasek (13:06):
So I'm continuing my internship with substance
use disorder, which is what I'mdoing now, and I definitely want
to do that for a while and gainexperience and learn about it.
So, no, no private practice yet.
Andrew Carroll (13:17):
Okay.
Why is the substance usedisorder important to you?
Andreka Jasek (13:20):
Not to make it sound cliche, because I said not
to make it sound cliche.
It's going to sound cliche, butthere is a lot of.
There's a lot of substance usein entertainment.
Oh yeah, for sure, and I thinkthat having the ability and the
knowledge and the experience toaddress that with future
entertainers is going to bemonumental for my career and to
(13:40):
be able to help them.
Andrew Carroll (13:42):
Absolutely.
From my perspective and Ihaven't been involved in the
creative arena nearly as much asyou have for as long as you
have I have this understandingthat there is a misconception
that drugs and alcohol fuels thecreative process.
But what I see is that drugsand alcohol and that kind of
(14:03):
thing fuels the guilt, shame andregret cycle.
That, in turn, can fuel whatfeels like a creative process
because it pushes this outlet ofrelease and processing which,
as a poet, that's what I noticedis that for a while there will
be stints where it's super easyfor me to write because I'm in
pain, and so you almost end upseeking out this pain cycle so
(14:25):
that you can continue to create.
Andreka Jasek (14:27):
That's why we have therapists.
Yeah, yeah there is some truthto that.
I mean, obviously it's not onesize fits all.
There is definitely some truthto that, so, but it's not for
everyone.
You know, not everyone isseeking out the pain to create.
Andrew Carroll (14:41):
Some people are just fine wherever they are in
life to be able to create yeahabsolutely, and that's kind of
what I'm looking for from yourperspective.
In that share is I mean for meonce I worked through that stuff
I don't know that I would sayto the other side of it, but
more once I did the inner workto become a bigger container, to
be able to be compassionatelyand lovingly and epithetically
(15:03):
with my feelings of guilt, shame, disgust, pain, trauma, all
that kind of stuff.
Then I got to this place whereI had this free room to play
with any of my feelings andcreate from any angle that I
want to, because instead ofbeing so hyper, focused right
here on this pain, that now I amin a panoramic view of my
emotional experience and I canchoose what I want to channel.
Andreka Jasek (15:26):
Yeah, no, and that's beautiful.
There's definitely something tobe said about that, and I don't
know if you've ever heard thewhole.
Andrew Carroll (15:33):
Oh, I like that artist when they were sober or
that band was wrote better songswhen they were or when they
weren't sober you know someoneliterally said that to me just
like two weeks ago about a DJ ora producer named Hades who has
some really great, great music.
But they're like I liked herstuff way better when she was
using it was so much darker.
Andreka Jasek (15:53):
I'm happy she's clean, but yeah, and I don't
know how much of that.
Again, you know whoever'ssaying it, it's their own story,
but sometimes I wonder ifthat's almost a projection like
the artist using.
Is that something?
That you're working on inyourself, whether it's drugs,
alcohol, whatever it is or youknow, like when Metallica cut
their hair there's a big uproarlike why does that matter?
Andrew Carroll (16:17):
Was that the same time that somebody tried to
call them sellouts?
Was that all like?
I think it was 90s, early 2000sor something like that.
Andreka Jasek (16:24):
And you know what sellout or not.
I love that band.
They sold way more records thanI ever have and if they want to
cut their fucking hair, cuttheir fucking hair.
Andrew Carroll (16:32):
Well, I think the band's response to that was
like yeah, we are sellouts everystadium we ever played.
Andreka Jasek (16:37):
That's good.
Andrew Carroll (16:38):
That's good.
Yeah, that's talking aboutschool and kind of your path and
the why there.
What drew you to the rehabclinic originally?
Was it all part of the biggerpicture plan?
Andreka Jasek (16:49):
It's part of the bigger picture plan and just
being in this industry,especially on tour and stuff,
and just seeing the substanceuse and abuse that goes on, you
know and I'm not saying I'm notanti drugs, I'm not anti alcohol
, I'm none of that but when itbecomes a problem and it's
hurting your life and your wellbeing, that's where you know I
(17:11):
want to be able to step in as atherapist harm reduction, if you
will.
Andrew Carroll (17:14):
I'm a big believer in that there is an
unhealthy approach to sobriety,and so I think that helping the
person who is in an addictioncycle needs to be focused on.
How do we create balance forthis person, because really it's
an imbalance and the addictioncycle feeds that.
Andreka Jasek (17:31):
Yeah, and I mean you can be addicted to a toxic
relationship.
Andrew Carroll (17:35):
Oh yeah, you can be addicted to you.
Andreka Jasek (17:37):
know anything really?
Andrew Carroll (17:38):
Truly, I'm glad that you hit on that early, like
the relationship is a big thingand that in and of itself, like
people would be so afraid toexit that environment that it
drives the substance abusebecause it's the only escape.
And then the individual that'scaught in that cycle is so
afraid of being alone that theywill stay in the relationship.
Yeah, so that happens to somany people.
Andreka Jasek (18:01):
It does.
Yeah, our brains and behaviorsare very complex.
Andrew Carroll (18:05):
I was just listening to Andrew Hueberman's
podcast the other day and theywere talking about the
misconception of dopamine, and Imay be I'm not trying to quote,
this is a paraphrase or summaryof what I was hearing but a lot
of people have thismisconception that dopamine is
like this happy kind of thing,and what it really is is it's
like the get more of it Moodcreation.
Yeah, like so, and I had neverreally thought about it that way
(18:27):
.
I don't do a lot of likeneurochemical, biological, like
research into the drugs that Ido or don't do.
I don't either.
It's been a really eye-openingthing to go and get a deeper
understanding of serotonin anddopamine and the process that's
actually happening when I do anMDMA therapy session or if I do
use fungus for healing or if youdon't, or if you don't, I
(18:49):
definitely do, I'm a hugeproponent.
I'm a huge proponent of it.
Andreka Jasek (18:53):
It saved my life for sure.
Andrew Carroll (18:55):
And now I have modified my therapeutic
relationship with those thingsin a way where it's still a very
healthy practice for me, but Idon't have to do it alone
anymore.
Andreka Jasek (19:05):
Yeah.
Andrew Carroll (19:06):
That's a really big move.
Andreka Jasek (19:08):
Well, in connection, for humans is such
an important part and a lot oftimes, you know, any kind of
substance use disorder can notalways, but can be linked to
feeling lonely and not havingthe connection that you need.
Andrew Carroll (19:21):
Yeah, absolutely .
Humans are social, Incrediblysocial, and there have been a
lot of things created in oursociety that intentionally
isolate people from relating andconnecting.
Andreka Jasek (19:32):
Absolutely yeah.
Andrew Carroll (19:34):
And we were just having a conversation with an
unnamed individual just today,like before we started this
podcast, and they were kind oftalking about how kids today
aren't like kids, you know, ofour generation or before.
And the first thing that comesup for me when I hear something
like that I may or may not havebeen born in 1985.
What does that make us Gen X orsomething, or Z, millennials,
(19:55):
millennials, Okay, thank you.
We've been in that transitionof the invention of the internet
and email and technology takingover in this way that no other
generation before us I mean, youcan talk about the industrial
revolution stuff, but thatdidn't connect people with
instantaneous information likewe have now.
Andreka Jasek (20:14):
And it's not always correct information, as
we know.
Andrew Carroll (20:17):
Yeah, I mean the algorithms are set up to give
confirmation bias and give youmore of what you like, which is
that's not.
That's almost the exactopposite of nature.
Unless you can find thesepockets of abundance right, it's
doing some really interestingthings to us.
So I didn't even have internetuntil like 2000 something,
because my mom knew I was adelinquent and I would have just
masturbated all day.
(20:37):
Never would have gottenanything done.
Instead I just smoked weed allthe time.
Andreka Jasek (20:42):
I'm sure you got a lot done then.
Andrew Carroll (20:44):
No, no, I was really good at video games.
I didn't graduate from highschool, I got expelled.
But the fact that kids todayhave access to all this
information, good or bad, andthat they can still get anything
done, it's mind blowing.
And the access that they have,the cyber bullying and those
kinds of things that go on thatare rocking these kids worlds.
That creates this sociallyconnected isolation in a way
(21:08):
that there's no safe space.
You can't even get on yoursocial media profile.
Somebody's there to poke at you.
You get it while you're atschool.
Parents don't know, or even ifthey're trying to be involved,
teenagers in general don't wantto talk to their parent.
Andreka Jasek (21:21):
That's for sure.
Andrew Carroll (21:22):
So I think that there are seriously significant
challenges that aren't beingaddressed that kids are
experiencing today, that it iscritical for people in our
generation to be trying tobridge that communication gap or
be having those conversationswith those kids or creating a
space where those chats canhappen, because it's such a mind
field.
Andreka Jasek (21:41):
Yeah, I think the thing that makes me really sad
is seeing these kids.
With all these ads and stuffand just the culture.
It seems like the way todestroy a person is to separate
them from their self love,because then they're searching
like I need to buy this productor I need to look like this or I
(22:02):
need to have this many likes,because at such a young age they
were separated from lovingthemselves.
Andrew Carroll (22:07):
Yeah, consumerism.
Andreka Jasek (22:09):
Yeah.
Andrew Carroll (22:10):
Yeah, fill that empty hole with something else.
Andreka Jasek (22:12):
And I'm all about .
I want to go buy something andI work for it.
Andrew Carroll (22:15):
I'm going to buy it.
Andreka Jasek (22:17):
I don't want to go do that to feel, avoid and
feel like I'm worthy because Ihave that thing.
Andrew Carroll (22:23):
Yeah, absolutely not.
The self love is such a hugepiece of it.
It's when you are tapped intothat, when you have that, you're
actively practicing it, yourealize you don't need a lot
Some close friends, a good time.
One of the saddest things Iever heard was when I was in
relationship with someone andshe told me that she didn't like
spending time with herself.
That is really sad.
Oh, it broke my heart.
(22:43):
It really broke my heartbecause I was like I love
spending time with me, yeah, andit ended up being like an
argument because she didn't wantto be alone and it just like I
kind of knew in that moment Imean that's a big red flag,
right, loving yourself is themost beautiful gift.
Andreka Jasek (22:57):
And it's hard.
It can be really hard.
Andrew Carroll (22:59):
It can be, especially if you are entrenched
in trauma.
Bonded relationship or patternsand cycles that are not serving
you, something that I'venoticed people who are going
through a healing process andare single, remain single or
become single have asignificantly faster healing
rate than people who remain inwhat is probably a toxic
(23:20):
relationship, while they'retrying to do their work.
Andreka Jasek (23:22):
I don't know if it's possible to do the work
that you need to do while you'rein a toxic relationship, if the
work is to not be in that kindof situation.
Andrew Carroll (23:31):
It's hard to sit there and tell someone or even
invite them to consider, likeyou should maybe think about
ending this relationship so youcan work on you.
I'm not.
A lot of people won't do that.
Andreka Jasek (23:40):
No, I know I've been in the field of treatment
for a while, and I've beentrying to provide for another
couple months to professionallycomment on that.
Andrew Carroll (23:50):
But my personal opinion is that yeah, you're
completely right, I guess themandatory disclaimer is neither
one of us are there.
Yes, yes, and these are all justlike these are our our shares,
our anecdotal, evidence basedexperiences, experiences yeah,
in my experience, this is what'sup for me.
Yeah, and yours is yours.
I'm a big boy.
I've been very careful latelyto make sure that I am in a
(24:14):
space where I'm constantlyrepeating to myself everything
happens for me.
A lot of people have this ideathat Andrew is like this
incredibly positive person atall times and like I just show
up for this big, huge, massiveenergy and create space for
people to just be loved and beauthentic and be themselves, and
I do that.
But my life can be hard, ofcourse, you know, like, yeah,
(24:38):
and I never want to lose sightof that, because that those
moments where there's so muchfriction make the juicy ones so
much better.
Andreka Jasek (24:44):
Yeah, I can relate to that.
Sometimes I get these spurts ofinspiration and I'll write a
bunch of songs and then othertimes I'm just down in the dumps
, like just feel like absoluteshit.
But everything does happen forme and I'm finally able to take
those down in the dump times andbe like, okay, this is what's
(25:06):
happening, I'm not going tofight this.
I'm going to feel thesefeelings, I'm going to do the
work to be with it, to noticeand allow it.
But, and I will say, I do put astatute of limitations on any
kind of misery.
That isn't helping me, you know.
Andrew Carroll (25:20):
Yeah.
Andreka Jasek (25:21):
And I don't just throw it away and not think
about it.
But if it's becoming aprolonged thing, I really got to
sit down with myself and say,hey, is this serving me, is this
useful?
And if it's not, it's got to go.
Andrew Carroll (25:31):
Yep, absolutely.
My medicine woman told me toset a 10 minute timer when I'm
in the.
What did she call it?
Henny penny.
Right, this guy is falling.
Andreka Jasek (25:40):
Remember that story.
Andrew Carroll (25:41):
Yeah, when you're just like everything is
fucked, you know like a thirdgrade book or something.
Andreka Jasek (25:45):
Oh, for sure.
Andrew Carroll (25:46):
Yeah, she was like when you're in that place,
set a 10 minute timer, throwyour tantrum, throw your fit,
and then, when the timer goesoff, move on and it it works.
Andreka Jasek (25:54):
It does work.
Oh, welcome, welcome, welcome to the Axé All
Day Podcast.
It's your host, Andrew Carroll,and today I am joined by the
absolutely incredible Andreka.
Andreka, say your last name,Jasek.
That's what I was going to say,but I didn't want to butcher it
(00:33):
.
I know we had a conversation atStarbucks about we are not
sponsored by Starbucks.
Let me just get that.
We're definitely not about howoften your name gets butchered.
Andreka Jasek (00:43):
Yes, all the time .
Andrew Carroll (00:45):
All the time.
Andreka Jasek (00:46):
Pretty much every time I get a coffee.
Yeah.
Andrew Carroll (00:49):
And what's the origin of your name?
It's beautiful.
Andreka Jasek (00:52):
Thank you so much .
It's Polish.
Andrew Carroll (00:54):
Polish.
Do you speak Polish?
Andreka Jasek (00:56):
I speak Polish not very well.
Andrew Carroll (00:59):
Give us a little bit of really bad Polish.
Andreka Jasek (01:02):
Czest.
Andrew Carroll (01:04):
Hi Czest.
And Czenkuje, that means thankyou, so thank you for having me,
so tell the people a little bitabout you.
Andreka Jasek (01:11):
Hello people, my name is Andreka Jasek and I am
the guitar player for the NightCry.
Should I talk a little bitabout where we are?
Andrew Carroll (01:19):
Absolutely.
You should definitely tellpeople a little bit about where
we are.
Andreka Jasek (01:23):
In case anyone's wondering about this sweet
background.
So this is actually the highschool that I graduated from in
2000 something, and I have notbeen in here in a very long time
and this is freaking awesome.
Andrew Carroll (01:35):
I didn't graduate from this school.
I had never been here, butthere's always something really
wonderful about going back,because you can feel the energy
in a school like this and it wasan alternative school, right.
Andreka Jasek (01:46):
It was an alternative school and we're
actually on the third floorwhere students not me, but
students threw desks out thewindow.
Andrew Carroll (01:55):
Were they on fire.
Andreka Jasek (01:56):
They were not on fire.
Andrew Carroll (01:57):
OK, why is this so important to you?
Why was coming here to do thisepisode at this school?
Why did that mean so much toyou?
Andreka Jasek (02:04):
Well, firstly, I have a weird thing for, like,
older schools.
Andrew Carroll (02:09):
OK, are you seeing one right now?
Andreka Jasek (02:15):
Old school, and I mean for me.
I only went to this schoolduring my senior year and it was
such a formative time in mylife, so it was really special
to be able to come back in hereand do this podcast and walk
around a little bit.
And I saw that Iron Maiden isstill carved in the stairwell,
(02:35):
which is pretty sweet.
Andrew Carroll (02:36):
Yeah, right over there.
Right over there, as a matterof fact, I'm not moving the
camera, but it's right overthere.
I have some pictures of ittrying to get the good
reflection.
It's definitely been paintedover.
Andreka Jasek (02:45):
It has, but it's not been buffed out.
No, it shines through as IronMaiden does.
Yes.
Andrew Carroll (02:50):
I do.
Yes, they do.
Why were you at an alternativeschool?
Because I think what comes upfor most people when they hear
that is oh, there must have beenthe bad kid or this or that or
the other.
So what was?
What was going on with Briar?
Andreka Jasek (03:03):
That's a really good question and yes, I think
alternative school does tend toget a bad rap.
I went here because after mysophomore year I went to a
traditional high school.
I dropped out, was never ajunior, I was doing the music
thing and raised by a single mom.
You know she was like youbetter get your ass a job or get
(03:23):
out.
So during my entire junior yearI was applying for jobs that I
had no business applying for,like neuroscientists and just to
apply right.
You didn't say what kind of job.
So then it was time I was likeyou know what I got to graduate
high school.
So I came here because I wasable to do my junior and senior
year worth of credits in oneyear.
(03:45):
So I still graduated on time.
Andrew Carroll (03:47):
Workhorse, I know.
Andreka Jasek (03:49):
Well, there wasn't a ton of work.
It was a great experience, butit was definitely not
traditional high school.
Andrew Carroll (03:55):
What did that look like?
What were the classes?
How was that lined up?
You know what was it like.
Andreka Jasek (04:01):
It was, and I don't want to add more to the
bad rap of alternative highschool, but it was a little more
loose than traditional highschool, but it should be.
Andrew Carroll (04:10):
I think everyone can agree traditional education
is definitely a sharedexperience across the board for
most, almost everyone, probablyone of the few things that you
can say that everyone, almosteveryone, has experienced.
Children are not meant to learnstuck at a desk, motionless,
without interacting with theworld and touching and tasting
and engaging.
Andreka Jasek (04:29):
And.
Andrew Carroll (04:30):
I am a big fan of any alternative learning
solution Alternative schools,montessori.
I know some people have aproblem with that learning
modality but I think one of thebest ways that we learn and grow
is by doing things ourselvesand by doing things for
ourselves, and I think it shouldbe the role of the education
system to provide a safecontainer for kids to explore
(04:51):
that stuff and with a you know,a desired outcome of defining
what is it that you'reinterested in, that you love to
do, and how do we help you applythat in the grand scheme of
creating societal value, andthat's not what traditional
education is doing.
Andreka Jasek (05:06):
No, absolutely, and that's really well said.
Traditional high school wasdefinitely not for me.
Me either, and I do think thatcoming here was one of the first
times I really got to be inschool and work towards
something and still be myself.
Andrew Carroll (05:25):
I love that.
I just am letting that sink inthe first time that you got to
be in school and work towardssomething that was meaningful
for you.
Andreka Jasek (05:33):
Yeah, and I, you know, at that age 18, you know,
you don't, at least I didn'tknow what I was working towards,
but I was working towardssomething.
Andrew Carroll (05:42):
Right.
Andreka Jasek (05:42):
I knew I had to graduate high school and I did
through alternative school, oneparticularly good friend.
I sent her a picture that youknow we got in here and she's
like oh my gosh they called herlocker the bar.
Andrew Carroll (05:58):
Why?
Andreka Jasek (05:58):
We had contents in there, sometimes of the
drinking variety.
Andrew Carroll (06:02):
Okay, so just some, like good water and
Gatorade.
Andreka Jasek (06:04):
Yeah, water and Gatorade got to stay hydrated
you have to stay hydrated.
Andrew Carroll (06:07):
Speaking of which, I'm just going to call
this out now.
We were not prepared for howhot it was going to be in this
building.
Andreka Jasek (06:14):
Dude, I'm wearing a fucking sweatshirt.
Can I say that?
Andrew Carroll (06:16):
Yeah, you can say fuck all you want.
Andreka Jasek (06:18):
I am.
Yeah, it is hot in here andthere's like no airflow, no we
can't open the window either,because the ambient noise from
outside.
Andrew Carroll (06:27):
I am dripping sweat right now.
Andreka Jasek (06:29):
I know I'm like why did I wear this?
This is not the best decision.
It's a great sweater.
It's a great sweater, Thank you.
Andrew Carroll (06:36):
Yeah, I'm wearing a night cry shirt.
Andreka Jasek (06:39):
You are, that's a sweet shirt.
Andrew Carroll (06:40):
It is a sweet shirt.
Alternative school veryimpactful for you, allowed you
to finish your education.
At the time you were a workingmusician.
Andreka Jasek (06:49):
Yeah, I mean I was playing shows every weekend,
if not more.
And you know, again at that ageI was like, oh my gosh, I'm
going to be this huge rock star.
And I didn't know what thatmeant.
I just knew I wanted to playmusic and it was such an awesome
opportunity to be able to dothat.
And come to school and thisschool actually because it was
(07:09):
alternative they had a guitarprogram.
So I was like, oh, I'm going totake that class.
So I started that classpretending like I didn't know
how to play guitar and then atthe end I was doing like tapping
solos and they kind of caughton.
But I got a good grade.
That works.
Andrew Carroll (07:24):
Yeah, it was fun , that's.
I mean, that's kind of how Iwas able to do like grad school
so quickly too.
Was I only picked a degree path?
That was like stuff I alreadyknew.
After I reviewed the curriculumbefore I enrolled I was like,
oh, I can knock this out.
Andreka Jasek (07:38):
See, and that's one thing that alternative
school did teach me it's like tothink a little bit differently.
I wouldn't call it scheming.
It wasn't a scheme.
Andrew Carroll (07:45):
Oh, it's fine if it is Okay.
It was totally a scheme, let itbe.
Yeah, I was thinking about thisjust a little bit ago, while we
were in here.
We are an island of misfit toys,you know, and I wouldn't have
it any other way, because whatthat has allowed me to
experience as an adult is that Idon't need to fit into the
system to be long, and out herein Seattle, what I am finding is
(08:09):
that there's this amazingcommunity of former misfits who
have created this awesomecollective tribe of support and
unity and value and creation andart, and you're a huge part of
that and everybody that'sinvolved in the Night Cry and in
your community specifically,like.
I'm so blessed to be a part ofthe tribe truly because you're.
(08:30):
You are an amazing person andthat's why you're here.
Absolutely, and everyone thatyou've introduced me to and
connected me with has beenamazing too, and that's so
beautiful.
Andreka Jasek (08:39):
Yeah, and you know the Night Cry especially.
This is my 10 millionth band orwhatever.
Andrew Carroll (08:45):
I've been doing this for 10 million years.
Andreka Jasek (08:47):
We're very selective about who we, you know
.
We want people to be part ofthe experience.
So we really want you to beyourself, and it's hard for us
to reach out and find peoplelike you, because I feel that
sometimes it's not as easy to beopen and be yourself, you know,
but I feel we are creating alittle community here.
Andrew Carroll (09:10):
Very intentionally too.
I, ever since I met you guysand participated in the music
video, I've watched you makevery intelligent moves to
promote yourselves and toconnect and engage with people,
and you do it in this beautifulway.
That is a reciprocity of valuecreation without it being a
transactional relationship.
Andreka Jasek (09:31):
That's exactly what it is.
We create music because we loveit.
Andrew Carroll (09:34):
Yeah, you know.
Andreka Jasek (09:36):
I can't.
I tried to quit playing musiconce.
Andrew Carroll (09:38):
It didn't last very long.
Andreka Jasek (09:39):
So that part, yes , we love it.
But we're not like, hey, buyour shirt, love our band.
We're like we want you to bepart of this process.
Yeah we want you to show up asyourself, because that inspires
us.
Andrew Carroll (09:52):
That's so beautiful.
How did you guys come together?
Andreka Jasek (09:54):
Well, so I have known Vincent for I don't want
to say eons, but eons and it wasabout 10 years ago his old band
and my old band.
We played a show together and Iwas like one day we're going to
have a band together.
Literally, this was like 10years ago, okay.
And then I left my previousband and I was watching a Robert
Palmer video, addicted to love,and I was like, man, it'd be
(10:15):
sweet to have a girl band with amale singer.
I always had that idea.
Shannon and I just startedwriting songs and looking for
other members and then I waslike you know, we should reach
out to Vincent, met Sarahthrough the scene and met Hannah
, actually at a party of Sarah's, and I was like I was saying
something to someone about howwe need a keyboard player and
(10:38):
she was across the table andshe's like I'm classically
trained in piano and I was likeyou want to be in a band.
That's literally how ithappened.
Andrew Carroll (10:44):
And the rest is history.
Andreka Jasek (10:45):
The rest is history.
Andrew Carroll (10:46):
It's such good history.
Your music is phenomenal.
Andreka Jasek (10:50):
Thank you.
Andrew Carroll (10:50):
Yeah, the love shines through.
Yeah it's been so much fun tobe a part of it.
You know my little slice andyour big slice.
Andreka Jasek (10:59):
Thank you, thank you.
Andrew Carroll (11:00):
Thank you, thank you.
You are doing so many thingsright now that create a large
value for society.
You work at a rehab clinic, youare in school to be a therapist
, you are crushing it in thisband and you also have a music
promotion like consultingbusiness and more.
So I want to break down alittle bit of each thing that
(11:22):
you're doing.
And then I also want to knowwas being in alternative school
and having that path?
Is that part of why it'simportant to you to be involved
as a therapist?
What does that look like?
What's your why?
Andreka Jasek (11:34):
That's a really good question.
When I was in high school, Iwas already counseling people.
I just, you know, I was alwayslike tell me about your feelings
.
Andrew Carroll (11:43):
How can we work through this?
Andreka Jasek (11:44):
So I always had that part of me, even you know,
like before that middle school,I wanted to be subscribed to
psychology.
Today, so, wanting to hearpeople's truths and what they
want to do, to be there, livetheir best life, has always been
part of me and, like highschool, I didn't do a
traditional college thing.
I went through severaldifferent schools.
(12:06):
I actually dropped out ofcollege twice because I couldn't
speak in front of the classPublic speaking assignment.
I literally dropped out ofcollege twice.
Andrew Carroll (12:16):
Okay, that's mind blowing Because, with a
guitar on stage, I would neverin my life think that you were
nervous.
And to me engage with you oneon one.
You're very, very powerfulhuman being.
Thank you.
Andreka Jasek (12:26):
Yeah, the guitar and music, I think, was always
different for me.
Andrew Carroll (12:30):
Okay.
Andreka Jasek (12:31):
But going up in school.
I can do it now, but I had todrop out of school twice you
know, and then it was like thisis what I want to do.
I finally found my place, andwhy not do it with entertainers?
I really, I mean, that's wheremy heart is.
Yeah, so I have six more monthsof grad school, and then there
I am licensing.
It'll be a licensed mentalhealth counselor, okay
(12:53):
Washington.
Andrew Carroll (12:54):
Okay, and are you going to start your own
practice right away?
You're going to work for anorganization?
What area specifically?
I know you just said that youwant to work with entertainers
any specific subset of thatgroup?
Andreka Jasek (13:06):
So I'm continuing my internship with substance
use disorder, which is what I'mdoing now, and I definitely want
to do that for a while and gainexperience and learn about it.
So, no, no private practice yet.
Andrew Carroll (13:17):
Okay.
Why is the substance usedisorder important to you?
Andreka Jasek (13:20):
Not to make it sound cliche, because I said not
to make it sound cliche.
It's going to sound cliche, butthere is a lot of.
There's a lot of substance usein entertainment.
Oh yeah, for sure, and I thinkthat having the ability and the
knowledge and the experience toaddress that with future
entertainers is going to bemonumental for my career and to
(13:40):
be able to help them.
Andrew Carroll (13:42):
Absolutely.
From my perspective and Ihaven't been involved in the
creative arena nearly as much asyou have for as long as you
have I have this understandingthat there is a misconception
that drugs and alcohol fuels thecreative process.
But what I see is that drugsand alcohol and that kind of
(14:03):
thing fuels the guilt, shame andregret cycle.
That, in turn, can fuel whatfeels like a creative process
because it pushes this outlet ofrelease and processing which,
as a poet, that's what I noticedis that for a while there will
be stints where it's super easyfor me to write because I'm in
pain, and so you almost end upseeking out this pain cycle so
(14:25):
that you can continue to create.
Andreka Jasek (14:27):
That's why we have therapists.
Yeah, yeah there is some truthto that.
I mean, obviously it's not onesize fits all.
There is definitely some truthto that, so, but it's not for
everyone.
You know, not everyone isseeking out the pain to create.
Andrew Carroll (14:41):
Some people are just fine wherever they are in
life to be able to create yeahabsolutely, and that's kind of
what I'm looking for from yourperspective.
In that share is I mean for meonce I worked through that stuff
I don't know that I would sayto the other side of it, but
more once I did the inner workto become a bigger container, to
be able to be compassionatelyand lovingly and epithetically
(15:03):
with my feelings of guilt, shame, disgust, pain, trauma, all
that kind of stuff.
Then I got to this place whereI had this free room to play
with any of my feelings andcreate from any angle that I
want to, because instead ofbeing so hyper, focused right
here on this pain, that now I amin a panoramic view of my
emotional experience and I canchoose what I want to channel.
Andreka Jasek (15:26):
Yeah, no, and that's beautiful.
There's definitely something tobe said about that, and I don't
know if you've ever heard thewhole.
Andrew Carroll (15:33):
Oh, I like that artist when they were sober or
that band was wrote better songswhen they were or when they
weren't sober you know someoneliterally said that to me just
like two weeks ago about a DJ ora producer named Hades who has
some really great, great music.
But they're like I liked herstuff way better when she was
using it was so much darker.
Andreka Jasek (15:53):
I'm happy she's clean, but yeah, and I don't
know how much of that.
Again, you know whoever'ssaying it, it's their own story,
but sometimes I wonder ifthat's almost a projection like
the artist using.
Is that something?
That you're working on inyourself, whether it's drugs,
alcohol, whatever it is or youknow, like when Metallica cut
their hair there's a big uproarlike why does that matter?
Andrew Carroll (16:17):
Was that the same time that somebody tried to
call them sellouts?
Was that all like?
I think it was 90s, early 2000sor something like that.
Andreka Jasek (16:24):
And you know what sellout or not.
I love that band.
They sold way more records thanI ever have and if they want to
cut their fucking hair, cuttheir fucking hair.
Andrew Carroll (16:32):
Well, I think the band's response to that was
like yeah, we are sellouts everystadium we ever played.
Andreka Jasek (16:37):
That's good.
Andrew Carroll (16:38):
That's good.
Yeah, that's talking aboutschool and kind of your path and
the why there.
What drew you to the rehabclinic originally?
Was it all part of the biggerpicture plan?
Andreka Jasek (16:49):
It's part of the bigger picture plan and just
being in this industry,especially on tour and stuff,
and just seeing the substanceuse and abuse that goes on, you
know and I'm not saying I'm notanti drugs, I'm not anti alcohol
, I'm none of that but when itbecomes a problem and it's
hurting your life and your wellbeing, that's where you know I
(17:11):
want to be able to step in as atherapist harm reduction, if you
will.
Andrew Carroll (17:14):
I'm a big believer in that there is an
unhealthy approach to sobriety,and so I think that helping the
person who is in an addictioncycle needs to be focused on.
How do we create balance forthis person, because really it's
an imbalance and the addictioncycle feeds that.
Andreka Jasek (17:31):
Yeah, and I mean you can be addicted to a toxic
relationship.
Andrew Carroll (17:35):
Oh yeah, you can be addicted to you.
Andreka Jasek (17:37):
know anything really?
Andrew Carroll (17:38):
Truly, I'm glad that you hit on that early, like
the relationship is a big thingand that in and of itself, like
people would be so afraid toexit that environment that it
drives the substance abusebecause it's the only escape.
And then the individual that'scaught in that cycle is so
afraid of being alone that theywill stay in the relationship.
Yeah, so that happens to somany people.
Andreka Jasek (18:01):
It does.
Yeah, our brains and behaviorsare very complex.
Andrew Carroll (18:05):
I was just listening to Andrew Hueberman's
podcast the other day and theywere talking about the
misconception of dopamine, and Imay be I'm not trying to quote,
this is a paraphrase or summaryof what I was hearing but a lot
of people have thismisconception that dopamine is
like this happy kind of thing,and what it really is is it's
like the get more of it Moodcreation.
Yeah, like so, and I had neverreally thought about it that way
(18:27):
.
I don't do a lot of likeneurochemical, biological, like
research into the drugs that Ido or don't do.
I don't either.
It's been a really eye-openingthing to go and get a deeper
understanding of serotonin anddopamine and the process that's
actually happening when I do anMDMA therapy session or if I do
use fungus for healing or if youdon't, or if you don't, I
(18:49):
definitely do, I'm a hugeproponent.
I'm a huge proponent of it.
Andreka Jasek (18:53):
It saved my life for sure.
Andrew Carroll (18:55):
And now I have modified my therapeutic
relationship with those thingsin a way where it's still a very
healthy practice for me, but Idon't have to do it alone
anymore.
Andreka Jasek (19:05):
Yeah.
Andrew Carroll (19:06):
That's a really big move.
Andreka Jasek (19:08):
Well, in connection, for humans is such
an important part and a lot oftimes, you know, any kind of
substance use disorder can notalways, but can be linked to
feeling lonely and not havingthe connection that you need.
Andrew Carroll (19:21):
Yeah, absolutely .
Humans are social, Incrediblysocial, and there have been a
lot of things created in oursociety that intentionally
isolate people from relating andconnecting.
Andreka Jasek (19:32):
Absolutely yeah.
Andrew Carroll (19:34):
And we were just having a conversation with an
unnamed individual just today,like before we started this
podcast, and they were kind oftalking about how kids today
aren't like kids, you know, ofour generation or before.
And the first thing that comesup for me when I hear something
like that I may or may not havebeen born in 1985.
What does that make us Gen X orsomething, or Z, millennials,
(19:55):
millennials, Okay, thank you.
We've been in that transitionof the invention of the internet
and email and technology takingover in this way that no other
generation before us I mean, youcan talk about the industrial
revolution stuff, but thatdidn't connect people with
instantaneous information likewe have now.
Andreka Jasek (20:14):
And it's not always correct information, as
we know.
Andrew Carroll (20:17):
Yeah, I mean the algorithms are set up to give
confirmation bias and give youmore of what you like, which is
that's not.
That's almost the exactopposite of nature.
Unless you can find thesepockets of abundance right, it's
doing some really interestingthings to us.
So I didn't even have internetuntil like 2000 something,
because my mom knew I was adelinquent and I would have just
masturbated all day.
(20:37):
Never would have gottenanything done.
Instead I just smoked weed allthe time.
Andreka Jasek (20:42):
I'm sure you got a lot done then.
Andrew Carroll (20:44):
No, no, I was really good at video games.
I didn't graduate from highschool, I got expelled.
But the fact that kids todayhave access to all this
information, good or bad, andthat they can still get anything
done, it's mind blowing.
And the access that they have,the cyber bullying and those
kinds of things that go on thatare rocking these kids worlds.
That creates this sociallyconnected isolation in a way
(21:08):
that there's no safe space.
You can't even get on yoursocial media profile.
Somebody's there to poke at you.
You get it while you're atschool.
Parents don't know, or even ifthey're trying to be involved,
teenagers in general don't wantto talk to their parent.
Andreka Jasek (21:21):
That's for sure.
Andrew Carroll (21:22):
So I think that there are seriously significant
challenges that aren't beingaddressed that kids are
experiencing today, that it iscritical for people in our
generation to be trying tobridge that communication gap or
be having those conversationswith those kids or creating a
space where those chats canhappen, because it's such a mind
field.
Andreka Jasek (21:41):
Yeah, I think the thing that makes me really sad
is seeing these kids.
With all these ads and stuffand just the culture.
It seems like the way todestroy a person is to separate
them from their self love,because then they're searching
like I need to buy this productor I need to look like this or I
(22:02):
need to have this many likes,because at such a young age they
were separated from lovingthemselves.
Andrew Carroll (22:07):
Yeah, consumerism.
Andreka Jasek (22:09):
Yeah.
Andrew Carroll (22:10):
Yeah, fill that empty hole with something else.
Andreka Jasek (22:12):
And I'm all about .
I want to go buy something andI work for it.
Andrew Carroll (22:15):
I'm going to buy it.
Andreka Jasek (22:17):
I don't want to go do that to feel, avoid and
feel like I'm worthy because Ihave that thing.
Andrew Carroll (22:23):
Yeah, absolutely not.
The self love is such a hugepiece of it.
It's when you are tapped intothat, when you have that, you're
actively practicing it, yourealize you don't need a lot
Some close friends, a good time.
One of the saddest things Iever heard was when I was in
relationship with someone andshe told me that she didn't like
spending time with herself.
That is really sad.
Oh, it broke my heart.
(22:43):
It really broke my heartbecause I was like I love
spending time with me, yeah, andit ended up being like an
argument because she didn't wantto be alone and it just like I
kind of knew in that moment Imean that's a big red flag,
right, loving yourself is themost beautiful gift.
Andreka Jasek (22:57):
And it's hard.
It can be really hard.
Andrew Carroll (22:59):
It can be, especially if you are entrenched
in trauma.
Bonded relationship or patternsand cycles that are not serving
you, something that I'venoticed people who are going
through a healing process andare single, remain single or
become single have asignificantly faster healing
rate than people who remain inwhat is probably a toxic
(23:20):
relationship, while they'retrying to do their work.
Andreka Jasek (23:22):
I don't know if it's possible to do the work
that you need to do while you'rein a toxic relationship, if the
work is to not be in that kindof situation.
Andrew Carroll (23:31):
It's hard to sit there and tell someone or even
invite them to consider, likeyou should maybe think about
ending this relationship so youcan work on you.
I'm not.
A lot of people won't do that.
Andreka Jasek (23:40):
No, I know I've been in the field of treatment
for a while, and I've beentrying to provide for another
couple months to professionallycomment on that.
Andrew Carroll (23:50):
But my personal opinion is that yeah, you're
completely right, I guess themandatory disclaimer is neither
one of us are there.
Yes, yes, and these are all justlike these are our our shares,
our anecdotal, evidence basedexperiences, experiences yeah,
in my experience, this is what'sup for me.
Yeah, and yours is yours.
I'm a big boy.
I've been very careful latelyto make sure that I am in a
(24:14):
space where I'm constantlyrepeating to myself everything
happens for me.
A lot of people have this ideathat Andrew is like this
incredibly positive person atall times and like I just show
up for this big, huge, massiveenergy and create space for
people to just be loved and beauthentic and be themselves, and
I do that.
But my life can be hard, ofcourse, you know, like, yeah,
(24:38):
and I never want to lose sightof that, because that those
moments where there's so muchfriction make the juicy ones so
much better.
Andreka Jasek (24:44):
Yeah, I can relate to that.
Sometimes I get these spurts ofinspiration and I'll write a
bunch of songs and then othertimes I'm just down in the dumps
, like just feel like absoluteshit.
But everything does happen forme and I'm finally able to take
those down in the dump times andbe like, okay, this is what's
(25:06):
happening, I'm not going tofight this.
I'm going to feel thesefeelings, I'm going to do the
work to be with it, to noticeand allow it.
But, and I will say, I do put astatute of limitations on any
kind of misery.
That isn't helping me, you know.
Andrew Carroll (25:20):
Yeah.
Andreka Jasek (25:21):
And I don't just throw it away and not think
about it.
But if it's becoming aprolonged thing, I really got to
sit down with myself and say,hey, is this serving me, is this
useful?
And if it's not, it's got to go.
Andrew Carroll (25:31):
Yep, absolutely.
My medicine woman told me toset a 10 minute timer when I'm
in the.
What did she call it?
Henny penny.
Right, this guy is falling.
Andreka Jasek (25:40):
Remember that story.
Andrew Carroll (25:41):
Yeah, when you're just like everything is
fucked, you know like a thirdgrade book or something.
Andreka Jasek (25:45):
Oh, for sure.
Andrew Carroll (25:46):
Yeah, she was like when you're in that place,
set a 10 minute timer, throwyour tantrum, throw your fit,
and then, when the timer goesoff, move on and it it works.
Andreka Jasek (25:54):
It does work.
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