October 3, 2023 • 17 mins
Dive into a powerful episode of the Axé All Day Podcast with host Andrew Carroll as he welcomes the incredibly talented Brian Burnette to the mic. Get ready for an inspiring conversation that delves into love, music, overcoming adversity, and the remarkable journey of transformation.
In this heart-to-heart exchange, Brian Burnette shares his incredible life story, from his early days singing in the car with his family to his remarkable wrestling journey and the turbulent encounter with addiction that followed. But this episode isn't just about the darkness; it's about the incredible resilience of the human spirit. Brian's story of redemption and creative expression is nothing short of awe-inspiring.
Join us as we explore the healing power of music, the importance of finding healthy outlets for emotions, and the incredible support of loved ones, including Brian's loving wife, Rhonda. This is more than just a podcast; it's a journey of self-discovery and hope.
If you're a fan of real-life stories of triumph over adversity, the magic of music, and the resilience of the human spirit, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in now and be ready to be moved by Brian Burnette's incredible journey on Axé All Day.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Andrew Carroll (00:19):
I am Andrew Carroll.
I'm the host of the Ashe AllDay Podcast, brian, just so
everybody knows, when you openup your heart and you sing,
you're changing the world on amolecular level.
You are the alchemizingvibration of sound.
My open heart sees you.
I wanted to share you with theworld brother.
Give a little introduction, man.
Let the people know who you areand what you're all about.
Brian Burnette (00:39):
My name is Brian Burnett.
I am a musical artist.
I use music as my outlet, mycreative outlet, to exercise my
feelings and work through myissues and entertain people.
I've got a family.
I've got four children and abeautiful wife that I love very
much.
Oh my gosh, I just celebratedmy eight year wedding
(01:00):
anniversary with my wife.
Andrew Carroll (01:03):
Give her a shout out.
She's so dope, Rhonda.
Brian Burnette (01:05):
Rhonda May Burnett.
She's so amazing and beautifuland loving and caring and she's
a wonderful mother.
She's an amazing model.
Check her out.
She's got some really coolstuff up on social media.
Dude, she's doing big things.
Absolutely.
On our anniversary I said, wow.
You know, rhonda, it's beeneight years already.
(01:27):
Has it really been eight years?
It almost doesn't feel thatlong, but I've never loved you
more.
Things just keep getting betterand I'm so grateful for that.
Andrew Carroll (01:35):
That's so beautiful man.
I'm so happy to know you guys,you and your wife.
I'm so fully supported andexpressed and if you're in the
Burnett tribe, you're held withlove and compassion and support
for whatever you're doing.
And it's an incredible feeling,man.
Like I said when I met you guys.
Brian Burnette (01:55):
What was that in February?
It was February 6th yeah.
Andrew Carroll (01:59):
I had only been in Seattle for like two weeks,
dude, and I needed Brentons andI was in a rough place, dude,
and you guys were there.
Brian Burnette (02:07):
When I met you.
Andrew Carroll (02:08):
I told you and I told Rhonda, our lives will
never be the same again.
That by the time next year hitsthat we'll look back at that
moment and we wouldn't evenrecognize what was going on.
Brian Burnette (02:18):
We are already well on our way it's so cool, we
have so many things to begrateful for so much.
It's incredible.
Andrew Carroll (02:28):
I love gratitude and I love you and it's so
important to give yourself thecredit to for the work that you
put in and the accumulation andculmination of the skills and
abilities and the hard work andthe time and you've been playing
music and involved in musicsince you were a kid, right.
Yes, absolutely, from singingsongs with mom and the Sing what
(02:51):
you're about to tell me.
Brian Burnette (02:52):
So, from singing in the station wagon with my
mom and brothers to going out toplay and guitar and finding out
about other things, I wish andI wished and I came and I saw
(03:12):
and received so much Love, somuch Praise, so much to be
grateful, yeah.
Andrew Carroll (03:33):
Dude, I got chills.
It's so good You're welcome.
You're welcome.
This is the Brian Burnett.
You will know his name.
So yeah, you started out inchoir.
You were Mormon, right.
Brian Burnette (03:45):
I was born and raised in the Mormon church.
That's actually a lot of thesongs that I used to sing in the
car was the church songs andwe'd get into choir and would
sing choir songs with my mom andwe would always do the
different parts and harmonizeand make the air buzz and it was
just so cool.
Being 11, 12 years old andmaking that harmonic buzz inside
(04:09):
the car that just filled thewhole space is so amazing.
Andrew Carroll (04:15):
Harmonies are a beautiful thing.
I'm so glad you're not Mormonanymore.
Brian Burnette (04:20):
No offense.
Andrew Carroll (04:21):
Or do be offended, it doesn't matter.
But, you had.
Your story is so cool.
I want to talk about thebusking.
I want to talk about you justpicking up and leaving right
after high school.
I want to talk about thewrestling, the drugs.
I want to talk about that.
So you and I were having aconversation one time about
significant life events and youwere sharing with me about how,
once you realized that God andSatan and I don't know how many
(04:45):
people are ready for that.
But I knew I was like, yep, Iget you, I totally get it.
Brian Burnette (04:51):
OK, so we're going there today.
Andrew Carroll (04:53):
Yo, we're going all the way in dude, all the way
.
Yeah, this is not softball.
Well, let me just say this isnot like club softball.
I do not mean any disrespect tothose collegiate level athletes
who like monsters, monsterathletes playing softball.
Maybe Wiffleball is a better.
Brian Burnette (05:12):
T-ball.
Anyway, this ain't your mama'spodcast.
Andrew Carroll (05:15):
I hope not.
Yeah, man, Give us the coupleminute version of like of the
ride started the semi beginning.
After like into high school thewrestling, what that looked
like.
Brian Burnette (05:29):
I hope you understand that this is more
than a couple minutes yeah.
Andrew Carroll (05:32):
I got you.
Ok, you're getting it.
Ok, you're so good.
Brian Burnette (05:35):
I had one hell of a temper when I was young and
I would do some stupiddestructive things.
Andrew Carroll (05:41):
Like what things .
Brian Burnette (05:42):
I threw a piece of corn on the cob at my brother
and smashed it through a window.
I got locked out of the housewhen I was eight years old by my
brothers and I was really upsetand, not realizing I I hit the,
hit the storm door andshattered the glass.
Actually, this one here and Islipped my wrist open, had to go
(06:05):
to the emergency room.
It was bad.
One time I was angry and I justtook, you know, like the
loppers that you used to cuttree branches oh, put it right
through a live extension cord.
I was five, wow, I was justalways doing things you don't
want to do, because I was angryand felt helpless or whatever
you know and a lot of that waspart of being the youngest
(06:28):
sibling.
Andrew Carroll (06:29):
I just want to take a second and hit on what
you just said, man.
So so many people can relate toanger, but I don't know that
they have done the work tounderstand the root cause of
where that's coming from,because people get to anger and
they shy away or they turn fromit and they won't sit with it.
But you just said that you wereangry because I felt helpless
(06:49):
Say that again.
Brian Burnette (06:50):
I felt helpless yeah.
Andrew Carroll (06:51):
And in that helplessness, you experienced
anger in an effort to protectyourself.
Yeah so, haha, just lettingpeople soak that up for a second
, because that is something thatis often overlooked.
Anger is a teaching tool.
It tells us when things thatare happening to us are not okay
, and I appreciate you forbringing that medicine on the
(07:13):
podcast today, because peopleneeded to hear that.
I got full body chills andthat's when I know it's time to
pause and stomp a foot and sayhey, listen to that, please
continue.
Thank you so much.
Brian Burnette (07:23):
So when I was in third grade, there was this guy
that came around from the localfreestyle wrestling club
handing out flyers and tellingthe.
He came to my school and was inmy class and everybody got a
flyer.
And you know we're thinkinglike Hulk Hogan, you know stuff
(07:43):
and wow, you know.
And I was thinking like wow,this could be cool.
So I showed it to my folks andmy stepdad.
He jumped right on it and saidyes, absolutely yeah, I'll take
you.
Turns out, wrestling was big inhis family.
He was a wrestler, my olderstepbrothers were wrestlers and
fighters and so I got into itFirst day, got in there and I
(08:04):
gave it all I had and I lost tothe coach's kid.
And this determination set inme, along with my mother's words
of you need to learn to useyour anger for something better
than just throwing fits andchannel that because you are so
powerful.
So I stuck with wrestling fromthird grade all the way through
(08:26):
high school, ended up going tothe state tournament all four
years of high school and placingWas that here in Washington?
Andrew Carroll (08:33):
Yeah, okay.
Brian Burnette (08:34):
I was going by the family name Gileam as the
last name in school as well.
Okay, if you're ever look upBrian Gileam, 135 pounds, class
of 2000, mass classic, you'llsee me in there.
It was pretty cool.
I had scholarships orscholarships available.
There was a completelydifferent path I could have
taken than the one that I did.
(08:55):
Are you open?
Andrew Carroll (08:55):
to sharing with, because you and I have talked
about that a little bit.
You're such a beautiful humanbeing, brian.
And thanks dude, we don'tbecome this the way that we are.
I have so many children rightnow.
I, like I'm so glad that you'rehere you don't become a
beautiful person without justsome absolute shit storms in
your life and I've got thoseyeah.
Think about how many people arepushing their kids to you.
(09:17):
Better go wrestling.
You better do your best.
You better get that scholarship.
If you don't go to college,you're worthless.
All that was right there foryou, man, and on the one hand,
intentionally chose a differentpath and on the other hand,
there were some demons in yourlife that kind of redirected you
.
Brian Burnette (09:29):
Yeah, absolutely .
So I had just gotten back fromthe senior national tournament
in Pittsburgh where I had madethe top 12.
Andrew Carroll (09:37):
I was out of the entire country.
Yeah let's just throw that outthere so yeah, I was one.
Brian Burnette (09:43):
I was one point, a one point loss away from,
actually, you know, getting amedal.
Yeah.
So, it was really cool.
I think it was a 64 man bracket, wow.
So yeah, and it was all statechampions and state placers from
from around the country.
So yeah, I mean I feel goodabout it.
Yeah, as you should.
(10:04):
I came back and found out thatmy girlfriend had cheated on me
with this other dude and I wasall upset about it and I was
having troubles at home as well.
I had actually moved out of myparents house at 17, going from
that to having all the freedom,I didn't know what to do with it
.
And after finding out that mygirlfriend had cheated on me,
(10:27):
I'm drinking a beer and you know, hanging out with some folks,
and this girl pulls out thelittle white baggy of which is
that's math, and I had beenoffered it before.
I was like, oh no, no, no, youknow.
No, no, no.
Andrew Carroll (10:40):
The Mormon sensibility was still in you
prior to that had you beendrinking for a little while at
this time, and stuff like that,like yeah, I actually stopped
going to church 1516 years 16, Ithink Was that a pretty heavy
conversation in the household.
Brian Burnette (10:58):
Yeah, I was always in trouble.
Andrew Carroll (11:00):
Yeah always.
Brian Burnette (11:01):
So anyway, this girl offers me some math and I
tried it and was immediatelylike my whole world changed and
it was like the most amazing Ihad ever felt.
Ever I did it for 10 monthsstraight.
Andrew Carroll (11:15):
Did you lightly dabble or did it take hold of
you?
Brian Burnette (11:19):
It took a pretty good hold.
I had my moments when I wasn'tdoing it, but they were short.
Andrew Carroll (11:24):
Yeah, fair.
Brian Burnette (11:25):
Yeah, the claws were in and it became what life
was all about, until one day Iwoke up after being awake for 17
days Wow.
Yeah, I went to sleep for threeand I woke up in a shed behind a
condemned mobile home that wasall fenced off and with a
(11:50):
generator outside that waspowering the lights and the TV
in there, that was fueled byGasoline from the people's cars
in the neighborhood gettingsiphoned out by the folks that
were staying there.
That's where I was.
Yeah, that's meth.
They had a mirror sitting thereand I looked in the mirror.
(12:10):
I looked like death, I meansunken in everything, just all
just.
Andrew Carroll (12:16):
How bar after wrestling, was this the
tournament, I think was in March.
So either the tournament was inMarch, you came back, she had
cheated on you.
You're partying with somefriends and you try meth.
Brian Burnette (12:26):
It was the end of the year.
It was like New Year's.
Andrew Carroll (12:29):
But you went from being at a physical level
of being a top 12 senior statechampion wrestler in 10 months.
Meth really almost completelydestroyed you.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Brian Burnette (12:42):
So when I was asleep for three days, the folks
that were around me just kindof left me there and I woke up
and they're like oh man, we wereworried about you.
You've been out for like threedays.
We were thinking about callingthe ambulance or something, but
we didn't want to get busted.
Andrew Carroll (12:55):
Yeah.
Brian Burnette (12:56):
Yeah.
So I saw myself in the mirrorand I cried, I cried and I
gathered my things and I leftand I was done.
I did not want to do thatanymore, so I drove to Seattle
For more.
That was in White Center.
Andrew Carroll (13:10):
Okay.
Brian Burnette (13:11):
Yeah, I drove to Seattle, found a place to park
my car.
I was actually sleeping in mycar at that time.
Pike Place Market was up thereand they had people busking up
there, and so I went and got mea pass or a permit and started
busking.
There is one really interestingpoint that I want to bring up.
Andrew Carroll (13:28):
That whole thing was interesting.
Brian Burnette (13:33):
So just because I had stopped and didn't want to
do math anymore, I was stillattracting those people.
Those people were still comingaround.
Andrew Carroll (13:43):
Yeah.
Brian Burnette (13:44):
It's almost like they just recognized me, even
though I wasn't getting high.
It was crazy.
I was very approachable to them.
Andrew Carroll (13:49):
Can I address that Mm-hmm?
So when you're involved in somestuff like this, it's really
important to understand thatwhat you are actually doing is
changing your vibrationalfrequency on a molecular level.
In doing this kind of a drug,especially methamphetamine,
which I think has a lot morethan just the chemical component
, but if we're talking about thespiritual realm, you are
opening up a portal and aninvitation for other beings to
(14:10):
readily come into your space,into your temple, and so other
people who are out there thatspeak that same language
essentially are vibrating onthat same frequency.
And so even when you do decideto stop using a drug like
methamphetamine, you still arepart of that tribe until it has
completely cleared from yoursystem and you have made
intentional, intentional,intentional change.
This is part of the reason thatan addiction to opiates and to
(14:32):
methamphetamine are so difficultto overcome, and it takes
exactly what Brian is talkingabout.
There has to be a moment forthat individual wherein they
realize that what they are doingis going to kill them and they
care about that.
They want to continue living ina different way.
How long after you decided toquit, your peers essentially
stopped approaching you likethey were and the rest of us.
(14:53):
I have never done meth knowingly.
I've probably had it in MDMA orsomething.
There are certain chemicalsthat I'm just not drawn to and I
know that they're not for me,so I have stayed away from that
for most of my life.
Now you and I have talkedextensively about my experience
with MDMA therapy and withpsychedelics and those kinds of
(15:13):
things my bread and butter.
I'll go into that fear and dothat all day, every day.
It's so good.
There's something about methand fentanyl.
I mean I can't reallydistinguish between the two and
what they're doing to people,but you can see they're.
People are turning into zombies.
The fentanyl is more of the nodand more of the classic opioid
symptoms that you will see frompeople, but meth is that real
(15:33):
twitchy, jerky movement like the28 days later type of zombie.
Brian Burnette (15:39):
It took a while because I hadn't made enough
changes.
I hadn't made enough changes.
I just knew that I didn't wantto do that anymore.
But I still wanted to party.
I still wanted to drink andsmoke weed and that kind of
stuff.
It's hard for me to say exactlyhow long it took.
Two times after that I wasapproached with it.
It was offered to me more thantwo times, but two times I
(16:01):
accepted and immediately,immediately after doing it, all
the same feelings came floodingback and it was 24 hours of
regret.
Andrew Carroll (16:13):
Oh yeah, that shame and guilt cycle bud, it
was yeah.
Brian Burnette (16:18):
So I would say, probably about the time I got a
job at the bar here downtown.
Uh, working in the kitchen iswhen that quit, when I got a job
.
Andrew Carroll (16:28):
A perfect opportunity to plug in an
awesome show that does notsponsor us at all.
But have you seen the bear?
No, dude, it's so good.
It's got one of the guys, oneof the actors from shameless Uh,
I think he was, I think he waslip.
He played Phillip on the show.
Such a good actor.
He basically like takes overlike a family restaurant.
He's a highly trained chef andhe comes to take over like this
(16:49):
sort of dive restaurant.
But it's one of the best showsI've seen in a long time.
Season two just came out like amonth or two ago, but I don't
have the streaming platformanymore that it's on.
Brian Burnette (16:57):
Oh, what's the streaming platform?
I think it's on Hulu.
Oh, I don't either.
Andrew Carroll (17:00):
Yeah, I mean just yeah, I put in my focus on
some other stuff right now, butawesome, show you ever mentioned
working in a kitchen.
Brian Burnette (17:07):
Very cool, brought it up for me.
Andrew Carroll (17:08):
Yeah, I worked in kitchens on and off for 10
years, okay.
Brian Burnette (17:13):
Before I switched over to carpentry.
Andrew Carroll (17:15):
Oh, yeah, yeah, because now you work wood.
Oh yeah, yeah, jesus Christ,okay, yeah, okay, yeah, all
right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's it.
Brian Burnette (17:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah , yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it's
going to be a good show.
You know it's a good show, soit's going to be a good show.
Yeah, I think it's going to bea good show, yeah, yeah.
I am Andrew Carroll.
I'm the host of the Ashe AllDay Podcast, brian, just so
everybody knows, when you openup your heart and you sing,
you're changing the world on amolecular level.
You are the alchemizingvibration of sound.
My open heart sees you.
I wanted to share you with theworld brother.
Give a little introduction, man.
Let the people know who you areand what you're all about.
Brian Burnette (00:39):
My name is Brian Burnett.
I am a musical artist.
I use music as my outlet, mycreative outlet, to exercise my
feelings and work through myissues and entertain people.
I've got a family.
I've got four children and abeautiful wife that I love very
much.
Oh my gosh, I just celebratedmy eight year wedding
(01:00):
anniversary with my wife.
Andrew Carroll (01:03):
Give her a shout out.
She's so dope, Rhonda.
Brian Burnette (01:05):
Rhonda May Burnett.
She's so amazing and beautifuland loving and caring and she's
a wonderful mother.
She's an amazing model.
Check her out.
She's got some really coolstuff up on social media.
Dude, she's doing big things.
Absolutely.
On our anniversary I said, wow.
You know, rhonda, it's beeneight years already.
(01:27):
Has it really been eight years?
It almost doesn't feel thatlong, but I've never loved you
more.
Things just keep getting betterand I'm so grateful for that.
Andrew Carroll (01:35):
That's so beautiful man.
I'm so happy to know you guys,you and your wife.
I'm so fully supported andexpressed and if you're in the
Burnett tribe, you're held withlove and compassion and support
for whatever you're doing.
And it's an incredible feeling,man.
Like I said when I met you guys.
Brian Burnette (01:55):
What was that in February?
It was February 6th yeah.
Andrew Carroll (01:59):
I had only been in Seattle for like two weeks,
dude, and I needed Brentons andI was in a rough place, dude,
and you guys were there.
Brian Burnette (02:07):
When I met you.
Andrew Carroll (02:08):
I told you and I told Rhonda, our lives will
never be the same again.
That by the time next year hitsthat we'll look back at that
moment and we wouldn't evenrecognize what was going on.
Brian Burnette (02:18):
We are already well on our way it's so cool, we
have so many things to begrateful for so much.
It's incredible.
Andrew Carroll (02:28):
I love gratitude and I love you and it's so
important to give yourself thecredit to for the work that you
put in and the accumulation andculmination of the skills and
abilities and the hard work andthe time and you've been playing
music and involved in musicsince you were a kid, right.
Yes, absolutely, from singingsongs with mom and the Sing what
(02:51):
you're about to tell me.
Brian Burnette (02:52):
So, from singing in the station wagon with my
mom and brothers to going out toplay and guitar and finding out
about other things, I wish andI wished and I came and I saw
(03:12):
and received so much Love, somuch Praise, so much to be
grateful, yeah.
Andrew Carroll (03:33):
Dude, I got chills.
It's so good You're welcome.
You're welcome.
This is the Brian Burnett.
You will know his name.
So yeah, you started out inchoir.
You were Mormon, right.
Brian Burnette (03:45):
I was born and raised in the Mormon church.
That's actually a lot of thesongs that I used to sing in the
car was the church songs andwe'd get into choir and would
sing choir songs with my mom andwe would always do the
different parts and harmonizeand make the air buzz and it was
just so cool.
Being 11, 12 years old andmaking that harmonic buzz inside
(04:09):
the car that just filled thewhole space is so amazing.
Andrew Carroll (04:15):
Harmonies are a beautiful thing.
I'm so glad you're not Mormonanymore.
Brian Burnette (04:20):
No offense.
Andrew Carroll (04:21):
Or do be offended, it doesn't matter.
But, you had.
Your story is so cool.
I want to talk about thebusking.
I want to talk about you justpicking up and leaving right
after high school.
I want to talk about thewrestling, the drugs.
I want to talk about that.
So you and I were having aconversation one time about
significant life events and youwere sharing with me about how,
once you realized that God andSatan and I don't know how many
(04:45):
people are ready for that.
But I knew I was like, yep, Iget you, I totally get it.
Brian Burnette (04:51):
OK, so we're going there today.
Andrew Carroll (04:53):
Yo, we're going all the way in dude, all the way
.
Yeah, this is not softball.
Well, let me just say this isnot like club softball.
I do not mean any disrespect tothose collegiate level athletes
who like monsters, monsterathletes playing softball.
Maybe Wiffleball is a better.
Brian Burnette (05:12):
T-ball.
Anyway, this ain't your mama'spodcast.
Andrew Carroll (05:15):
I hope not.
Yeah, man, Give us the coupleminute version of like of the
ride started the semi beginning.
After like into high school thewrestling, what that looked
like.
Brian Burnette (05:29):
I hope you understand that this is more
than a couple minutes yeah.
Andrew Carroll (05:32):
I got you.
Ok, you're getting it.
Ok, you're so good.
Brian Burnette (05:35):
I had one hell of a temper when I was young and
I would do some stupiddestructive things.
Andrew Carroll (05:41):
Like what things .
Brian Burnette (05:42):
I threw a piece of corn on the cob at my brother
and smashed it through a window.
I got locked out of the housewhen I was eight years old by my
brothers and I was really upsetand, not realizing I I hit the,
hit the storm door andshattered the glass.
Actually, this one here and Islipped my wrist open, had to go
(06:05):
to the emergency room.
It was bad.
One time I was angry and I justtook, you know, like the
loppers that you used to cuttree branches oh, put it right
through a live extension cord.
I was five, wow, I was justalways doing things you don't
want to do, because I was angryand felt helpless or whatever
you know and a lot of that waspart of being the youngest
(06:28):
sibling.
Andrew Carroll (06:29):
I just want to take a second and hit on what
you just said, man.
So so many people can relate toanger, but I don't know that
they have done the work tounderstand the root cause of
where that's coming from,because people get to anger and
they shy away or they turn fromit and they won't sit with it.
But you just said that you wereangry because I felt helpless
(06:49):
Say that again.
Brian Burnette (06:50):
I felt helpless yeah.
Andrew Carroll (06:51):
And in that helplessness, you experienced
anger in an effort to protectyourself.
Yeah so, haha, just lettingpeople soak that up for a second
, because that is something thatis often overlooked.
Anger is a teaching tool.
It tells us when things thatare happening to us are not okay
, and I appreciate you forbringing that medicine on the
(07:13):
podcast today, because peopleneeded to hear that.
I got full body chills andthat's when I know it's time to
pause and stomp a foot and sayhey, listen to that, please
continue.
Thank you so much.
Brian Burnette (07:23):
So when I was in third grade, there was this guy
that came around from the localfreestyle wrestling club
handing out flyers and tellingthe.
He came to my school and was inmy class and everybody got a
flyer.
And you know we're thinkinglike Hulk Hogan, you know stuff
(07:43):
and wow, you know.
And I was thinking like wow,this could be cool.
So I showed it to my folks andmy stepdad.
He jumped right on it and saidyes, absolutely yeah, I'll take
you.
Turns out, wrestling was big inhis family.
He was a wrestler, my olderstepbrothers were wrestlers and
fighters and so I got into itFirst day, got in there and I
(08:04):
gave it all I had and I lost tothe coach's kid.
And this determination set inme, along with my mother's words
of you need to learn to useyour anger for something better
than just throwing fits andchannel that because you are so
powerful.
So I stuck with wrestling fromthird grade all the way through
(08:26):
high school, ended up going tothe state tournament all four
years of high school and placingWas that here in Washington?
Andrew Carroll (08:33):
Yeah, okay.
Brian Burnette (08:34):
I was going by the family name Gileam as the
last name in school as well.
Okay, if you're ever look upBrian Gileam, 135 pounds, class
of 2000, mass classic, you'llsee me in there.
It was pretty cool.
I had scholarships orscholarships available.
There was a completelydifferent path I could have
taken than the one that I did.
(08:55):
Are you open?
Andrew Carroll (08:55):
to sharing with, because you and I have talked
about that a little bit.
You're such a beautiful humanbeing, brian.
And thanks dude, we don'tbecome this the way that we are.
I have so many children rightnow.
I, like I'm so glad that you'rehere you don't become a
beautiful person without justsome absolute shit storms in
your life and I've got thoseyeah.
Think about how many people arepushing their kids to you.
(09:17):
Better go wrestling.
You better do your best.
You better get that scholarship.
If you don't go to college,you're worthless.
All that was right there foryou, man, and on the one hand,
intentionally chose a differentpath and on the other hand,
there were some demons in yourlife that kind of redirected you
.
Brian Burnette (09:29):
Yeah, absolutely .
So I had just gotten back fromthe senior national tournament
in Pittsburgh where I had madethe top 12.
Andrew Carroll (09:37):
I was out of the entire country.
Yeah let's just throw that outthere so yeah, I was one.
Brian Burnette (09:43):
I was one point, a one point loss away from,
actually, you know, getting amedal.
Yeah.
So, it was really cool.
I think it was a 64 man bracket, wow.
So yeah, and it was all statechampions and state placers from
from around the country.
So yeah, I mean I feel goodabout it.
Yeah, as you should.
(10:04):
I came back and found out thatmy girlfriend had cheated on me
with this other dude and I wasall upset about it and I was
having troubles at home as well.
I had actually moved out of myparents house at 17, going from
that to having all the freedom,I didn't know what to do with it
.
And after finding out that mygirlfriend had cheated on me,
(10:27):
I'm drinking a beer and you know, hanging out with some folks,
and this girl pulls out thelittle white baggy of which is
that's math, and I had beenoffered it before.
I was like, oh no, no, no, youknow.
No, no, no.
Andrew Carroll (10:40):
The Mormon sensibility was still in you
prior to that had you beendrinking for a little while at
this time, and stuff like that,like yeah, I actually stopped
going to church 1516 years 16, Ithink Was that a pretty heavy
conversation in the household.
Brian Burnette (10:58):
Yeah, I was always in trouble.
Andrew Carroll (11:00):
Yeah always.
Brian Burnette (11:01):
So anyway, this girl offers me some math and I
tried it and was immediatelylike my whole world changed and
it was like the most amazing Ihad ever felt.
Ever I did it for 10 monthsstraight.
Andrew Carroll (11:15):
Did you lightly dabble or did it take hold of
you?
Brian Burnette (11:19):
It took a pretty good hold.
I had my moments when I wasn'tdoing it, but they were short.
Andrew Carroll (11:24):
Yeah, fair.
Brian Burnette (11:25):
Yeah, the claws were in and it became what life
was all about, until one day Iwoke up after being awake for 17
days Wow.
Yeah, I went to sleep for threeand I woke up in a shed behind a
condemned mobile home that wasall fenced off and with a
(11:50):
generator outside that waspowering the lights and the TV
in there, that was fueled byGasoline from the people's cars
in the neighborhood gettingsiphoned out by the folks that
were staying there.
That's where I was.
Yeah, that's meth.
They had a mirror sitting thereand I looked in the mirror.
(12:10):
I looked like death, I meansunken in everything, just all
just.
Andrew Carroll (12:16):
How bar after wrestling, was this the
tournament, I think was in March.
So either the tournament was inMarch, you came back, she had
cheated on you.
You're partying with somefriends and you try meth.
Brian Burnette (12:26):
It was the end of the year.
It was like New Year's.
Andrew Carroll (12:29):
But you went from being at a physical level
of being a top 12 senior statechampion wrestler in 10 months.
Meth really almost completelydestroyed you.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
Brian Burnette (12:42):
So when I was asleep for three days, the folks
that were around me just kindof left me there and I woke up
and they're like oh man, we wereworried about you.
You've been out for like threedays.
We were thinking about callingthe ambulance or something, but
we didn't want to get busted.
Andrew Carroll (12:55):
Yeah.
Brian Burnette (12:56):
Yeah.
So I saw myself in the mirrorand I cried, I cried and I
gathered my things and I leftand I was done.
I did not want to do thatanymore, so I drove to Seattle
For more.
That was in White Center.
Andrew Carroll (13:10):
Okay.
Brian Burnette (13:11):
Yeah, I drove to Seattle, found a place to park
my car.
I was actually sleeping in mycar at that time.
Pike Place Market was up thereand they had people busking up
there, and so I went and got mea pass or a permit and started
busking.
There is one really interestingpoint that I want to bring up.
Andrew Carroll (13:28):
That whole thing was interesting.
Brian Burnette (13:33):
So just because I had stopped and didn't want to
do math anymore, I was stillattracting those people.
Those people were still comingaround.
Andrew Carroll (13:43):
Yeah.
Brian Burnette (13:44):
It's almost like they just recognized me, even
though I wasn't getting high.
It was crazy.
I was very approachable to them.
Andrew Carroll (13:49):
Can I address that Mm-hmm?
So when you're involved in somestuff like this, it's really
important to understand thatwhat you are actually doing is
changing your vibrationalfrequency on a molecular level.
In doing this kind of a drug,especially methamphetamine,
which I think has a lot morethan just the chemical component
, but if we're talking about thespiritual realm, you are
opening up a portal and aninvitation for other beings to
(14:10):
readily come into your space,into your temple, and so other
people who are out there thatspeak that same language
essentially are vibrating onthat same frequency.
And so even when you do decideto stop using a drug like
methamphetamine, you still arepart of that tribe until it has
completely cleared from yoursystem and you have made
intentional, intentional,intentional change.
This is part of the reason thatan addiction to opiates and to
(14:32):
methamphetamine are so difficultto overcome, and it takes
exactly what Brian is talkingabout.
There has to be a moment forthat individual wherein they
realize that what they are doingis going to kill them and they
care about that.
They want to continue living ina different way.
How long after you decided toquit, your peers essentially
stopped approaching you likethey were and the rest of us.
(14:53):
I have never done meth knowingly.
I've probably had it in MDMA orsomething.
There are certain chemicalsthat I'm just not drawn to and I
know that they're not for me,so I have stayed away from that
for most of my life.
Now you and I have talkedextensively about my experience
with MDMA therapy and withpsychedelics and those kinds of
(15:13):
things my bread and butter.
I'll go into that fear and dothat all day, every day.
It's so good.
There's something about methand fentanyl.
I mean I can't reallydistinguish between the two and
what they're doing to people,but you can see they're.
People are turning into zombies.
The fentanyl is more of the nodand more of the classic opioid
symptoms that you will see frompeople, but meth is that real
(15:33):
twitchy, jerky movement like the28 days later type of zombie.
Brian Burnette (15:39):
It took a while because I hadn't made enough
changes.
I hadn't made enough changes.
I just knew that I didn't wantto do that anymore.
But I still wanted to party.
I still wanted to drink andsmoke weed and that kind of
stuff.
It's hard for me to say exactlyhow long it took.
Two times after that I wasapproached with it.
It was offered to me more thantwo times, but two times I
(16:01):
accepted and immediately,immediately after doing it, all
the same feelings came floodingback and it was 24 hours of
regret.
Andrew Carroll (16:13):
Oh yeah, that shame and guilt cycle bud, it
was yeah.
Brian Burnette (16:18):
So I would say, probably about the time I got a
job at the bar here downtown.
Uh, working in the kitchen iswhen that quit, when I got a job
.
Andrew Carroll (16:28):
A perfect opportunity to plug in an
awesome show that does notsponsor us at all.
But have you seen the bear?
No, dude, it's so good.
It's got one of the guys, oneof the actors from shameless Uh,
I think he was, I think he waslip.
He played Phillip on the show.
Such a good actor.
He basically like takes overlike a family restaurant.
He's a highly trained chef andhe comes to take over like this
(16:49):
sort of dive restaurant.
But it's one of the best showsI've seen in a long time.
Season two just came out like amonth or two ago, but I don't
have the streaming platformanymore that it's on.
Brian Burnette (16:57):
Oh, what's the streaming platform?
I think it's on Hulu.
Oh, I don't either.
Andrew Carroll (17:00):
Yeah, I mean just yeah, I put in my focus on
some other stuff right now, butawesome, show you ever mentioned
working in a kitchen.
Brian Burnette (17:07):
Very cool, brought it up for me.
Andrew Carroll (17:08):
Yeah, I worked in kitchens on and off for 10
years, okay.
Brian Burnette (17:13):
Before I switched over to carpentry.
Andrew Carroll (17:15):
Oh, yeah, yeah, because now you work wood.
Oh yeah, yeah, jesus Christ,okay, yeah, okay, yeah, all
right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's it.
Brian Burnette (17:20):
Yeah, yeah, yeah , yeah, yeah, yeah, I think it's
going to be a good show.
You know it's a good show, soit's going to be a good show.
Yeah, I think it's going to bea good show, yeah, yeah.
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