Episode Transcript
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Andrew Carroll (00:06):
What's up,
family?
Welcome to the Axé All DayPodcast.
I'm your host, Andrew Carroll,a modern menstrual and
facilitator.
I illuminate opportunities forintegration and growth through
storytelling, experiences, andtechnologies.
So I invite you to sit back,relax and enjoy the vibe as we
(00:32):
embark on this epic journey.
Oh, what's up?
Axé All Day family, so glad tohave you here on what is going
to turn out to be episode numberseven of the Axé All Day
Podcast, and it's a very specialepisode because it is
(00:56):
That's a drum roll.
It is my purpose birthday today.
Yo, it's my purpose birthdaytoday.
And before I get into what thatis, i want to tell you about
some of the really cool thingsthat happened today, because
purpose birthdays are incrediblyspecial And some incredibly
special things happen today.
(01:17):
One I got to meet up with a dear, sweet brother of mine.
His name is Tanner.
We met when we were both in theAir Force back in 2006.
Immediately, moved by knowinghim as a person, i knew from the
jump that he knew who he was,that he was ruthlessly committed
(01:39):
to himself and what waspassionate, what he was
passionate about and what'simportant to him.
He exuded this air of certainty, this sense of self assurance
that I don't know that I hadever really felt before from
another human being, and I wasimpressed by him.
(02:02):
But it wasn't the kind of thingTanner's so approachable.
He's such a beautiful humanbeing, he's such a beautiful man
And his chosen path in life,his purpose, what he loves to do
, are truly, truly hard things.
Tanner loves hard work, heloves love, he is a passionate
(02:26):
man And when he invests himselfin something that is important
to him, i know without a doubtin my mind and Tanner does as
well that he's going toaccomplish it.
And to have someone like thatin my life as an example, as a
dear brother, as a friend, who,as we shared today and we caught
(02:48):
up on what we've been up to andwhat's been going on in our
lives, we found out that we haveeven more in common as we do a
very specific and certain kindof inner work and processing.
Now, it's always, it's always atreat to talk to Tanner And
(03:09):
everyone who knows him I'm sure,would tell you the same thing
because he's in love with life.
He's truly in love with lifethrough, whether that's
experiences or nature, orknowing himself being a family
man, being fully dedicated tohis purpose in life.
That's, it's just, it's amazing.
(03:31):
It's amazing.
And so to find out that we bothshared this deep, deep love and
respect for going inward andworking with our shadow and
integrating those pieces ofourself and truly doing those
hard and scary things, that selfintrospection, that
introspective work, it was soincredible.
(03:53):
And to see the container thathe's creating for his son, that
that little man with parentslike he's got is going to change
the world, absolutely going tochange the world.
So just a huge shout out toTanner and his family, his
(04:15):
parents, everyone who'sconnected with him Just thank
you for showing up the way thatyou do.
You make a difference everysingle day, whether you know it
or not, and I am a better manfor knowing you And I just
wanted to express that and shoutyou out.
And just people, people likeyou are beautiful gift man,
(04:39):
absolutely beautiful gift.
So we are hoping to connect anddo an episode or maybe two with
Tanner later in the year.
You guys are not going to wantto miss that.
I'm getting chills thinkingabout it.
I haven't even begun to tellyou his whole story And I want
to save that for him to be ableto share at his pace and his
(04:59):
time.
What he, what comes up for himin the moment because I know I'm
just filled with love and justspirit is moving so big in me.
Tanner and his choices and hisability to persevere under the
(05:21):
most incredible of conditionswill change your life, and so to
be able to be in a place with afriend like that, with a man
like that, and to connect withhim and help tell his story and
share that with the world is myhighest purpose, and so, on my
(05:41):
purpose birthday today to beable to meet with Tanner and
reconnect on such a deep level.
It was incredible And I wantedto share that with you guys.
Second, as I'm sitting herefeeling this deep love, the
second very amazing thing thathappened today is I was able to
(06:05):
MC and host a music videopremiere today.
It was an incredible event.
The band the Night Cry invitedme out.
I was in the music video as anextra when they filmed and we
just we connected.
They recognize the energy Ibrought to the event and in that
(06:27):
space we all had a great time.
And so they reached out to mefor this party, for this
appreciation party for the worldpremiere of their music video
Finders, keepers And they askedme to MC because of how I show
up and the kind of energy that Ibring, and I was so excited to
work with them because I willonly work with people who are on
(06:50):
a mission that I believe in.
That's why I will obviously workwith people like Tanner.
That's why I will work withcreatives like the band the
Night Cry, because every memberof that group is living in their
purpose.
They are making intelligentlydesigned moves to grow their
(07:11):
band and their presence andthey're working hard and they're
dedicated.
They know their values andtheir why And those are the kind
of people that I'm open toworking with.
They're in integrity and all ofour interactions and everything
that we've done together theyhave been in integrity and true
to themselves And that's whatit's all about at Ache All Day,
(07:32):
and so those are the kind ofpeople that I surround myself
with.
So I was blessed with thisopportunity to MC this video
premiere on my purpose birthdayand their premiere day, and it
was so incredible to just be outplaying with my friends, doing
what's in my heart, sharing mygifts and skills and talent to
(07:55):
be a connector and a hype manand a motivator and a seller and
a lover and just holding andcreating this space for everyone
in this room to connect andbuild energy and support of
these beautiful, creative peoplewho have created this beautiful
experience audially, auditorilyand visually.
So, man, that music video dropson June 29th.
(08:23):
It's just a few days away.
It is the 25th today.
I believe the 29th is Thursdayand you're not going to want to
miss that.
So go to YouTube, go to thenight cry It's the night cry and
give them a subscribe and afollow and check out that music
video when it comes out, becauseI was there on set working with
(08:44):
some amazing actors in the bandAaron Fury He's going to be on
the show.
We've got in conversation withsome of the band members to be
on Axé All Day and kind of talkwith us about their process
individually And it's just.
It's been so amazing to seeeverything behind-the-scenes and
(09:05):
then to be present andparticipating at an even higher
level, able to share what Ibring to the table in support of
their creative energies.
The final product in this videowas shot by Tetra Knot.
I believe it's productions, butTetra Knot T-E-T-R-A-K-N-O-T.
(09:27):
You can find them on Instagramand Facebook.
They crushed it.
The final finished product wasincredible.
That music video stunnedeveryone.
People were feeling feelings,they were having experiences And
it was so beautiful.
Everyone got so much greatpress, so much great feedback
(09:50):
And I was honored to be part ofthat.
You know, the band has invitedme to be their emcee for their
first shows in Seattle.
I'm incredibly honored by thatAnd it's because I showed up as
myself, true to myself and inservice to others, because I
(10:10):
know my purpose And that's whatthe purpose birthday is all
about.
So what is my purpose birthday?
What is that?
Well, it's kind of obviousright Purpose birthday.
Purpose birthday is the daythat you knew, without a doubt,
that this is my purpose and thisis the path that I am meant to
(10:32):
follow.
So what was that like for me?
So on June 25th 2022, i was inGermany, in Sarbrook, and with a
dear friend of mine And workingon business, brainstorming,
doing breathwork, yoga,meditation, all these kinds of
(10:55):
things, and really justexploring and playing at the
edges and and working togetherto combine in combination for
creativity.
And it just hit me.
I was laying there taking notes, just being in my body, being
(11:18):
present, breathing, and all of asudden, i just felt this like
chonk And I vibrated everywhereand I like there was discharge
and energy coming into my bodyAnd this shaking happens, and I
(11:41):
knew in that moment that mypurpose is to be a poet, to be a
modern minstrel, to to use myvoice to help illuminate
possibilities for others, tointegrate and grow, and that is
what I have been working on andtowards since June 25th of 2022.
(12:05):
It was an incrediblytransforming experience,
absolutely mind-blowing, and soI want to open up this
conversation even more and Iwant to ask you down in the
comments or hit me up on emailor however you want to get a
hold of me.
I'm available to chat with you.
Have you had an experience likethat?
(12:26):
Do you know your purpose?
When you found your purpose,did it hit you like a ton of
bricks, or is it something youfeel like you've known since you
were a little kid, or evenfurther in that?
is it something that you'veknown since you were a little
kid And then, at some point inadulthood, you were finally able
to give yourself permission tofollow that path?
(12:49):
What was it for you?
What does it look like If youdon't know your purpose?
what does that look like?
What does that mean A?
We're going to take a littlebit of a detour and we're going
to talk about what if I don'tknow my purpose.
So, if you're not sure whatyour purpose is, what I'm going
(13:12):
to invite you to do is continueto try everything.
Do not be afraid to try newthings.
Our society, for so long, hadbeen programmed to have loyalty
to the company, loyalty to thebrand, loyalty to this, to stick
with it, even if you hate it.
Just be ruthlessly committed tothis thing or that thing
(13:35):
external to you, no matter what.
You stick it out, you live theAmerican dream.
You just grind away, and that'sterrible advice.
That is terrible advice,seriously.
You have a birthright ofpleasure and joy and freedom and
(14:00):
love, and selling your soul formoney to do stuff you don't
like for extended periods oftime is going to kill you.
Yes, i am not even exaggerating.
So, in that same vein, right,it also impeded generations of
(14:21):
people from finding out trulytheir purpose and their
happiness and their joy.
It did, and so you have anopportunity now that you know
this or maybe you were alreadythinking these things, or now
this is new technology and newlinguistics that you can carry
with you every single day.
You can trust yourself, followthat inner voice, try everything
(14:48):
, try new stuff constantly.
There's no shame in being like,hey, i tried this for a while,
didn't like it, moving on.
But I'll tell you what.
I'm certainly glad that Ididn't stick with, just as an
example, the Air Force for 20years.
I know plenty of people who areactive duty, who have retired,
(15:11):
who will retire soon, and that'sgreat for them if that's really
what they wanted And it must be, because that's what they did
And they're going to get aretirement check and they're
going to get this and they'regoing to get that and they have
all these other things And okay,great.
But man, some and some peopledo some people perform amazingly
well.
Some people are phenomenal.
(15:32):
They don't become toxic,they're very healthy, and I'm
not the person who comes to mindright away.
I will not name their name, butI wrote a poem about him and I
called him our beautifullighthouse keeper because he
took care of everyone, eventhough he was having his own
personal struggles.
He took care of everyone.
(15:53):
He went out of his way to.
He was amazing at his job.
He's an amazing man, justabsolutely beautiful person.
People like that who stick itout until the bitter end, and
not necessarily happily, butthey feel fulfilled and being
part of something that's biggerthan them, so to say, and that's
(16:15):
beautiful and take nothing awayfrom that.
But in the vein of not tryingnew things is stagnation.
If you weren't fulfilled inyour professional role, in your
business, in your education, inwhatever it is that you're doing
, whether you I mean you mightbe the CEO of a company, maybe
(16:37):
you're an entrepreneur, maybewhatever, and you don't like it,
you don't enjoy it, it doesn'tbring you joy.
Get out and try something else.
Truly, life is too short to notbe juicy every day And it is our
birthright to have a juicy lifeevery day.
So that's my biggest advice toyou Your purpose will find you.
(16:57):
There's no rushing to it oraway from it or anything like
that.
The more things that you try,the clearer that you will become
, because you will have hadthose experiences for yourself.
And as you build on those andyou become more clear because
clarity is a hugely importantgift that we must create for
ourselves And sometimes theuniverse will smack us across
(17:18):
the face with a huge teachingthat allows us to better see
what is meant for us, andsometimes that means the
universe burns that motherfucker down and takes everything
from you in order to free upthe space to give you a million
times more than you ever thoughtpossible.
(17:42):
So be afraid And be brave andcourageous and still take action
.
Do not let that fear paralyzeyou.
You are worthy.
It is your birthright to walkin your purpose with a ruthless
commitment to yourself.
And in that, in that purpose,in that ruthless commitment to
(18:06):
yourself, you get to createvalue for your tribe, because
you will be a fully integratedand expressed human being who
gets to show up powerfully forother people.
And that is the mark andmeasure of a value creator.
My beloved family hear me again.
You get to show up as abeautifully fully integrated and
(18:29):
expressed human being, a divinesoul having a human experience,
and create value for your tribeand your family working in your
work.
Ah, there is nothing better.
So that's a purpose.
Birthday, my friends, purposebirthday is the day that your
(18:52):
purpose shows up.
It knocks on your heart, itsays what's good, family, i'm
home, are you ready?
And the only thing to say isyes, right, because it can come
back around again.
Everything is a repeating cycle.
Until you decide to change it,it is a spiral down or a spiral
up.
It is balance.
That's what we're after everysingle day.
(19:14):
That's what the work is allabout.
So, as you go into this, yourpurpose might change, and the
goal is to create even moreclarity around it.
So I know today, right now, inthis moment, that I am a modern
menstrual, that I am afacilitator and that I
(19:39):
illuminate opportunities forintegration and growth through
storytelling, experiences andtechnologies.
That is what was downloaded forme.
That is what was downloaded forme.
Now there are things that canbe uploaded for you as well, and
(20:01):
I'm working on someexplanations for that.
But we want to be reallycareful about uploads.
Downloads, divine Uploads.
That could be some ego-basedstuff, but I'll talk about that
more in another time.
But also, the ego isn't bad.
Okay, come on.
I have an ego.
(20:22):
You have an ego.
The ego is meant to be inservice.
When the ego runs the show,this is not best for everyone.
It's not even best for you.
In fact, it's awful for youbecause you're going to make
resistant patterns in the energywaves of your vibration, and
(20:42):
it's going to be awful.
Something else that we'll talkabout at a later date is
resistance training, and what isthat doing to interrupt or
disrupt your energeticreceptions?
Literally And that's a toughone for me, because I really
enjoy the gym I do.
So I am working on someprograms and some ideas that
(21:03):
help me balance that resistancetraining with flow training.
I'll just give you this rightoff the top I like some inverted
breathing.
I haven't seen anyone elsereally talking about that, but
it is a strategy for breathingthat is counter-intuitive.
I like it quite a bit.
I've been practicing it forabout a year now.
(21:23):
If you're curious about that,hit me up and we can talk about
it.
I'll see you in a minute.
So how are you feeling?
What comes up for you when Itell you about purpose, birthday
and the incredible gifts andblessings that have been
happening?
I'll be honest I got completelydissolved and shattered.
(21:54):
I have coming up what I used tocall a death day in August and
we'll talk about that more laterAnd that is actually that's an
adult conversation that we aregoing to be having about that.
But I'd no longer call it adeath day because what I
(22:15):
realized recently was that it'san integration and love day And
I don't want to go aroundkilling anything.
What I want to be doing isbreathing life into things.
I want to be giving life tothings.
I want to be creating things,and so what happened in August
of 2022 is no longer a death dayfor me.
I am changing that and it isnot necessarily a birthday, but
(22:36):
it is definitely a solvettcoagulate day.
But the point of that is thatonce I learned my purpose, i
knew that I had to make somesignificant changes in my life.
And they hurt family.
They hurt, they were not easy.
Some of them were made for meand that hurt because I thought
(22:58):
I was in control of everything.
Even And as I moved furtheralong the path, i realized that
I'm 100% responsible foreverything that happens in my
life And that can be terrifyinguntil you really realize and
embrace that you can trustyourself And if you can trust
yourself, no one else isresponsible for what happens to
(23:21):
you And that can come along withsome really big up swells of
anxiety and fear and just like,oh my God, this is so much.
That may happen for you.
It definitely happened for me.
It's not a one-time thing, butas you're doing the work that we
talk about on Ashe, all day,all the time, as you're doing
(23:41):
that work, what is going tohappen is that you're going to
get comfortable loving on thoseteachings.
That's wisdom, baby, yes, myfamily, that is wisdom.
Anxiety, depression, jealousy Oh, i got pages on jealousy Boy.
Did that get a bad rap right?
(24:02):
Wow, i'll do a whole episode onjealousy.
You're going to want to hearthat.
They're all teachers, my family, they are all teachers, beloved
.
And the issue is that we'reresisting them all.
We're pushing them all away.
We don't want to sit with theicky, the dualistic view of good
and bad feelings and emotionsand thoughts and this and that,
(24:27):
bro, just go ahead and justdivide yourself, bisect your
entire body.
Are those pieces of you?
Are they going to survive?
No, they're not.
And it's the same thing Whenyou're pushing those things away
.
Sweet family, this is so sadbecause we're so many people are
(24:48):
doing this and I still do, butthen I'm able to ground myself
and come back in.
But imagine that you're JohnWick, trying to get yourself
back in or back out or whatever,and now you've got to cut off a
finger of your emotional body.
That's what you're doing.
When you're pushing thesefeelings away.
You are removing an emotionaldigit from your emotional body,
(25:13):
you're removing an emotionallimb from your emotional body
and then you're trying to carryon with life as though you are a
whole body, but you'veliterally been cutting off
pieces of yourself, and that maybe self deletion and
preservation of relationship AndI will say that again because
(25:37):
that is an issue, man, as I lookback on past relationships Self
deletion in preservation ofrelationship.
So what does that mean?
Self deletion in preservationof relationship means that you
are willing or open to literallylike cutting off your own
(26:01):
emotional arm to try to preservethe relationship, and this is
incredibly toxic behavior, onefor you and two for your partner
, especially if they aren'thealthy.
Especially if they aren'thealthy And if you're both prone
to doing it, you will end up astiny grains of sand, remnants
(26:22):
of who you were meant to be inorder to remain in a
relationship.
That is unhealthy for both ofyou because you have trauma
bonded.
It hurts like the visceralreaction in my body to that idea
of like.
I've been in so many traumabonded relationships guys and
(26:43):
girls and family.
I'll just go with family, andI'm sure you have too.
It's a huge thing in our societyAnd if we look we talked about
social programming, breaking thesocietal programs last week is
what was on the docket And man.
The impression that is given tous constantly on in TV and
(27:07):
movies and music is just thisoverwhelming, overarching
message that relationships arethis devious, awful thing and
that everybody should be in one,but they should be looking
outside of the relationship forvalidation and sex and, like you
know, all these things, and itis destroying people.
(27:28):
It is absolutely destroyingpeople.
So consider that truly.
Consider that trauma, bonds andbad relationship is more valued
in our society than beingsingle and healthy and well.
(27:49):
You are literally incentivizedfinancially through social
programs at work to be inrelationship whether an
unhealthy relationship is whatis modeled and to have children
and to consume.
So self deletion andpreservation of relationship is
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a real thing.
If you end up in a relationshipwith someone who is
narcissistically abusive or ifyou don't like those kind of
diagnostic or labeling ofbehaviors someone who gas lights
you, someone who is abusive,someone who hits you, any of
those kinds of things I am 100%responsible for what happens to
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me.
In every relationship I've had,i have shown up poorly.
I have been responsible for myaffairs, my infidelity, my lies,
my all of that.
I am responsible for allowingsomeone else to treat me in that
way because I didn't feel likeI was worth being treated well.
(28:54):
I was more concerned with beingin relationship than I was with
my own health and well being orthe health and well being of
that other person.
Please don't do that toyourself.
And if you feel that way, yougot to do the hard work, you got
to walk away And a lot ofpeople won't change until the
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pain of change is less than thepain of remaining in the
relationship Kind of humannature.
It takes a very rare person whois willing to take those steps
And I know a couple of peoplelike that.
Our relationship ended because aperson that I was exploring
(29:38):
with felt that she needed to doher work on her own And I have
nothing but respect for that.
It hurt And it took me a minuteto sit with those feelings and
to not spiritually bypass, trulyto be able to be like man.
I really thought there wassomething really special here.
It was beautiful, but I got somany lessons out of that And I
have so much respect and lovefor that person still to this
(30:00):
day because she did the hardwork and she said I need to do
this alone.
I will always adore you, butgoodbye, ouch, fucking awesome.
Strange stuff, man, strangestuff, but it's so good, it's
all so good.
So, purpose birthdays, so dope.
(30:24):
Trust yourself, right, becauseyou do know what you need to do.
You may not want to do it, butyou know what you need to do.
The still small voice inside ofyou, your intuition, all those
things are guiding you.
You are a beloved member of thefamily.
You are a beloved andvalue-added member of the tribe
and we all want you to do yourvery best.
Yeah, and I know you're doingyour best.
(30:46):
I know you're doing your best,even if you're acting out a
shadow and you're repressingthings right now.
I know you're still doing yourbest.
I know you're tired, i know youmight be scared, i know you're
confused, i know it kind offeels like there's just static
all over you.
So we've talked about a lottoday.
(31:07):
We just hit the right around the30-minute mark And I just want
to take this opportunity to do alittle meditation with you.
So if you're driving, maybe hitpause and pick this up when you
get home.
If you're at home and you're ina place where you can lay down
and close your eyes, and we'regonna do the corpse pose from
(31:30):
yoga, right?
You just pretty much just layon your back comfortably.
So I'll give you just a second.
Go ahead and get that rolling.
As you do that.
I'm gonna just take a couple ofbreaths for me.
Okay, so you're comfortable andyou're in a space.
(32:02):
Now Your eyes are closed.
I want you to just release yourbreath, focus on nothing or
everything.
Just allow your body to breathe, because it will Be with
(32:28):
whatever comes up right now, inthis moment, sweet family,
whatever is there for you.
That's your inner wisdom,that's your body talking to you.
So I invite you on your nextexhale this isn't timed,
remember, you have surrenderedto your breath and you've let go
(32:51):
, and you've let go, so you'regonna be able to breathe, so
you're gonna be able to breathe,and you're gonna be able to
breathe, and you're gonna beable to breathe, and you've let
go and you are just breathing,naturally.
It might be shallow, it couldbe deep, it could be rhythmic,
it could be galloping.
There is no right or wrong,there's just the breath.
(33:16):
On your next exhale, i want youto name what has come up And I
want you to name where it islocated in your body.
For me, i feel this sense ofglobal peace throughout my body.
(33:42):
I feel some tension in mytrapezius muscles, my upper
shoulders, my upper back.
So I'm gonna breathe that out.
And now I want you to catch upwith your breath, be present
(34:02):
with your breath, embrace yourbreath, long and slow, and I
want you to breathe.
And I want you to breathe, andI want you to breathe Long and
slow And in your own time,whatever that looks like in
these long, slow breaths intothe belly.
I'm going to be silent in mybreath as much as possible, but
(34:26):
I want you to accept thisinvitation to make some noise as
you exhale anything that is notserving you in this moment.
(34:48):
As you exhale and you releasethose things, maybe you notice
that there is a peace beingpoured down from the top of your
(35:08):
head, this calming, energetic,golden peace, slowly moving from
the top of your head down andthrough your brain and through
the skull, revealing the eyeswith this bright aura, relaxing
(35:34):
the jaw and the neck, releasingall of the tension on its way
down the spine into theshoulders, relaxing in the chest
and the back down into thebelly and the torso, the lower
(36:02):
middle back, your kidneys andliver, intestines, bladder, your
stomach.
Oh, now to the golden peacejust radiating comfort and love
(36:25):
into the hips and the rootchakra.
Let it be present and collecthere for a moment as you breathe
into that pelvis and hip area,feel the golden orbs develop
(36:47):
around the ball socket, the hipjoints, the sacrum, and just
give a peaceful release oftension, gently melting it away
to be exhaled from the mouth.
Be present as you inhale andnotice that glowing golden peace
(37:10):
that has encapsulated thosesockets and the sacrum, that it
is an opportunity to anchor thiswell-being at the very
foundation of your body, in thecenter, as that tension releases
(37:30):
and the golden peace begins toflow gently down each leg
through the genitalia, the hipsagain still the thighs, the
hamstrings, golden peace intothe knees and the lower legs,
(37:52):
and we are present with thisarea of our bodies that is often
overlooked as the golden peaceagain just provides its healing
opportunity to release thestress and tension that is ever
present there, that is notserving us any longer and can be
released.
In this breath.
Going down into our feet, thegolden peace moves into a pool
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that is always connecting usenergetically to the ground,
whether we are at the top of askyscraper or in the forest with
our toes, buried under leavesand grass, in the dirt.
This golden pool is your holyground and it goes with you
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everywhere you go.
It is underneath you in yourbed, it is on the sidewalk, it
is inside your shoes, it isunder your feet, it is all
around you as an aura and alight, golden, peaceful,
resolute, comforting.
Just the love that is, thisgolden peace, that is your
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birthright, given to you bycreator, by universe, by you.
Surrender to the breath again.
Surrender your breath again.
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It may be short, it may be deep, it will be relaxed And I will
leave you with that today.
Carry this peace with you asyou continue on your journey.
(39:59):
I love you.
Family.
A Japan—Ishaiylene편집や檃湾树潤.
Может habitats tune in nextweek.