April 22, 2025 • 15 mins
#170: The strength we build from standing on our own can sometimes become the very wall that keeps meaningful connection at bay. For those of us who've mastered self-sufficiency—especially women who pride themselves on independence—there's a shadow side rarely discussed: profound loneliness.
Most of us didn't become independent because life was easy. We developed this trait because circumstances demanded it. Maybe you grew up in chaos or had parents who leaned on you more than they should have. Perhaps you were burned one too many times or simply had to become your own safety net because nobody else was watching out for you. Whatever the catalyst, you learned not to ask for help, not to wait for rescue, but to carry your own weight—and often everyone else's too.
While society celebrates this strength as empowering and "badass," there's a hidden toll. When you're the capable one, people eventually stop checking in, stop offering help, and just assume you've got everything handled. You become emotionally invisible—the one everyone leans on, but no one thinks to ask, "How are you really doing?" This invisibility creates a profound paradox: the more independent you become, the lonelier you may feel, even in a crowded room.
The path forward isn't abandoning your hard-earned strength, but recognizing that needing people doesn't make you weak—it makes you human. Start by letting just one person see the unfiltered version of you, the one who's tired, confused, or just over it. Remember that "independence isn't about isolation; it's about having the choice to stand alone, but the freedom to not always have to." Your strength is beautiful, but your softness deserves space too. What if today was the day you let someone help you carry the load?
You can now send us a text to ask a question or review the show. We would love to hear from you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What is up everyone?
Welcome back to another episodeof the Babbles Nonsense podcast
.
I do apologize for not postingan episode last week or
mentioning that I was going totake a week break.
By the time Tuesday rolledaround and work was done.
I was like you know what it is,what it is.
We're not posting anythingtoday and, I'll be honest,
sometimes I have been not reallyinspired to do an episode and
(00:22):
it's really like I've mentionedmultiple times on the episode.
Sometimes it can be hard to dosolo episodes, especially when
you're not a reality star,you're not, there's not a lot of
stuff happening or you're notgoing to a lot of things and you
kind of live a boring life.
But it is what it is.
We are here today, but today Iwanted to talk about something
that I feel maybe some peoplewon't talk about or they they
(00:43):
shy away from, and that's beinglike hyper independent and this
is more geared towards femalesper usual but like being that
hyper independent, strong, selfsufficient female and how
sometimes that can make us feellonely.
So if this interests you, orthis top you know, if this is
one of the topics you would loveto discuss, then stay tuned,
we're going to get into it.
All right, all right, guys,welcome back.
(01:32):
So, like I was saying in theintro, we are talking about you
know how being independent,strong and self sufficient can
sometimes feel really lonely,and you know I put myself in
that category as well.
I feel like I'm a veryindependent woman.
I have focused my entire lifeon my career.
I've prided myself in that,actually, and I guess it wasn't
(01:54):
until recently that I was like.
You know, I am a pretty goodcatch.
I'm pretty independent, and thelonger I stay single, it just
makes it harder.
To date, because you justbecome that hyper independence
where it's like you can do ityourself, you've done it
yourself for so long and thenwhen someone does come in to
help you, it's almost like whatdo they want?
You know what I'm saying.
(02:14):
So that's why I kind of justwanted to do this podcast out.
You know it's.
It's for those hyperindependent, emotionally self
sufficient women, the ones whoget labeled quote unquote
intimidating, too much or goodon her own end, quote.
Let's talk about that, let'sdive into that.
So, if we're being honest, youknow most of us didn't become
(02:35):
independent because life waseasy.
We had became that way becausewe had to.
Like I've mentioned severaltimes about my childhood and how
I pretty much was on my own, tomy sister being in trouble, in
and out of trouble and stufflike that.
So maybe you also grew up inchaos or with parents who leaned
on you more than they shouldhave.
(02:55):
Maybe you got burned out onetoo many times.
Maybe you had to become yourown safety net because nobody
else was watching you, watchingyou or catching you.
I guess I should say, if we'regoing to use the safety net, so
now those people don't typicallyask for help, we don't wait for
someone to rescue us, we don'tlean, we carry.
(03:15):
And yes, that can be powerfuland it can be badass, but also
it can get exhausting.
I don't know about y'all outthere, but I can get exhausted
with everything that is on myplate for being independent.
Because no matter how strong weare, we're still human at the
end of the day and humans needconnection, support, softness,
(03:35):
space to not have it alltogether.
Places to cry, someone to leanon someone, to just be there,
whether it just be theirpresence, whether it be talking,
whether it be going to dinner,having a drink, whatever that
presence may be for you.
I feel like we all, as humanscrave that connection and I used
to think that I didn't.
I used to be like I'm so fineon my own.
(03:56):
But in those moments when I wassaying that I typically was
around people, like I worked ina career where there was just
people around all the time, sowhen I did have my time to
myself at home, it just feltreally nice.
And now that I don't workaround a lot of people and I am
home more often than not bymyself, I'm constantly thinking
(04:18):
like, wow, I would reallyappreciate, like a friend right
now, I could really hang outwith someone right now or
something like that.
So just being vulnerable andhonest about that.
But also like I in the past havehad, you know, fights with my
friends because I would be likey'all don't check in on me,
y'all don't even know what I'mup to, like if I you know me and
my aunt have talked about thisa lot Like we all have friends,
(04:39):
that you have some friends thatare the glue that keep everybody
together, and then you havesome friends that are just kind
of like there and not.
That either is wrong, and itall comes down to personality
types and whatever that we don'thave time to get into because
me and you is not here and Icannot try to go down that
rabbit hole by myself.
But I used to.
I remember, like in college andstuff, like getting in fights
(05:00):
with my like my very bestfriends and I would be like I
went a week without texting youand you know, just to see if you
would respond or reach out tome first and you didn't.
But then I had to realize andgrow up and be like you know,
everyone has their own life,everyone has their own family.
You know they can't like Ican't be so dependent on them
when, yes, friends are yourchosen family but at the end of
(05:22):
the day they're still not yourfamily and they don't owe you
anything.
Actually, no one owes youanything at the end of the day
but yourself.
So that's where I would say itgets tricky, like when you're
the strong one and people dostop checking in, they stop
offering help, they assumeyou've got it all handled and
over time I guess one can startinternalizing that you, we stop
(05:43):
opening up, we stop expectingsupport, you could also become
the one everyone leans on, butno one ever thinks to ask like,
hey, how are you doing?
And I'm sure people can relateto this.
So that's where that lonelinesslike starts creeping in.
Right, that loneliness isn'talways about being physically
alone.
Sometimes it's just thatemotional aloneness, Like you
(06:04):
could be physically present,like I was talking about in my
career, like you could bephysically present with other
humans around, but if they'renot your people and they're not
the ones you count on or youconsider yourself close to, then
you still feel lonely, nomatter who's around, and it's
it's almost like you becomeemotionally invisible to people
and it's about knowing that ifyou don't keep your life
(06:26):
together, no one else will,because you have to depend on
yourself, and so that can becomevery heavy, like always
constantly leaning on yourself,because sometimes we just need
to bounce things off of you knowother people and I think like
even for me it you know, I canadmit it now and I can be
vulnerable about it now, becauseI've been through therapy, I've
worked on, you know, energyhealing and I have become strong
(06:48):
in myself and confident inmyself.
But at the end of the daysometimes I really get lonely.
Sometimes I really wish I hadeither a partner or best friend
that I can just constantly notconstantly, but like
consistently lean on, like Ihave friends that are there for
me, don't get me wrong.
I have great friends andwonderful friends, but, like I
said, we're all almost in our40s and they have their own
lives, they have their ownfamily, they have husbands,
(07:09):
children, stuff like that.
So it's not like it was incollege where I could be like
well, I should be at the toptier list.
You know what I'm saying.
But if we're just like talkingtruth, like that most of us
won't admit, I would say it's,sometimes we do wish that
someone would just take the lead, someone would say you don't
have to carry it all today, orsomeone would make us feel safe
(07:32):
enough to soften up, and thatcan kind of lead into a
different conversation, right,like if we're talking about
dating, sometimes it's hard forfemales who are hyper
independent to lean into theirfeminine energy, and I think
that's just because we're soused to doing everything which
is considered a masculine energy, not saying like you're
masculine or feminine when itcomes to the outward appearance.
But and this is something I hadto learn from me and you when we
(07:54):
were going through energyhealing and talking Like she was
like you have very masculineenergy she was talking to me
about that and I was like whatdo you mean?
Like I don't feel, like I'm avery masculine person.
And she was like Well, no, youjust have masculine energy.
Like you have to be the one todo things, you have to be the
one to initiate, and so I'm soused to that and sometimes it's
hard to pull back.
But when you are in the datingaspect of everything, if you
(08:15):
have a man that's not steppingup in their masculine energy,
it's really hard for a female toalso step up in their feminine
energy, for example.
So if I'm dating someone andthey're never initiating, like
they're never asking me on adate, they're never doing that,
I know one would say, well, theydon't like you, hon, and that's
.
That could be one.
That could be one thing.
But also in this era of dating,it also can just be that some
(08:38):
men want to be in there.
They this is all over TikTokright now.
And if you don't believe me,look it up like soft girl era
for the men.
Like the men want to tap intotheir feminine energy and that's
great.
I think there should be abalance to that.
But if it's a consistent thinglike that, so if I'm hyper
independent in my work life, inmy professional life and my
family life, and then I alsohave to be hyper independent,
(08:59):
which would be more of amasculine energy into into my
dating life, then it can becomea problem and it's not really
balanced out and like and maybethat's how men feel, I don't
know Maybe I should interview aman about their masculine versus
feminine energy.
Maybe they're constantly allthe time laying like I don't
want to be hyper independent.
So I think it could be a giveand take.
But they say men like thatbecause I mean obviously they're
(09:24):
, they want to lean more intotheir masculine energy and
sometimes when women are beingin their masculine energy, it
can turn a man off because theywant them to be in their
feminine Point being.
If you want someone to be intheir opposite energy, you have
to step up in that energy ifthat makes sense.
So if you, if you're a guy, andyou want a girl in their
feminine energy, then you haveto step up your masculine energy
(09:46):
so that the female can be morein her feminine energy.
If you're a female and you wantto show up in your feminine
energy more, then you have tostart doing that and allow men
to be more in their masculineenergy and stop taking control.
So it's a give and a take.
But going back to just the hyperindependence, I know it always
leads to dating, because that'sone of the things that you know
(10:07):
I do, so it's easier to talkabout.
But with all that being said,what I'm trying to say is
independence kind of likebecomes an armor for someone.
It becomes the way we protectourselves from disappointment,
abandonment or rejection.
Because I guess, like, askingfor help or being seen in that
struggle sometimes does feelscarier and it's not what we're,
(10:31):
not what we're used to.
And I can talk about myself,obviously.
So like, for example, I do stayin a masculine energy all the
time because I am single.
I do a lot of stuff by myself.
I had to grow up very young.
So like, like, just gettingstuff done in general, I am
always having to put 100% effortin.
Right, if I'm, if I'm the onlyone doing it, I have to put 100%
(10:53):
effort in.
It's not like I have a partneror friend or roommate or parents
that continue to help me.
It's me.
So I do have to show up in thatway, so I it can become a
struggle to learn to lean back alittle bit to allow someone
else to step up and help you.
But if you are in this season ofyour life where your strength
(11:13):
feels isolating, I do want youto hear this it's okay to need
people.
It does not make you weak, itactually makes you more of a
whole person, and I'm sayingthis to y'all, but I'm also
saying this to my inner dialogue, because I have to say this to
myself consistently and I'veworked on it, I've worked on it
in therapy, I've worked on itwith me and you.
(11:33):
So if it's something that youare struggling with, or you know
you do feel lonely or you dofeel like you're hyper
independent, then maybe that'swhere you start.
Maybe you start sharing that intherapy or with a life coach or
an energy healer, whoever youhave deemed that person to lean
on.
It's just starting, small right, it's.
You let one person in, and to me, I think it would be great to
(11:56):
you know, have that be aprofessional, but if it's not,
then you let that one person in,whether it be a friend, family
member, someone you met on thestreet.
You know what I'm saying.
Let someone see the unfilteredversion of you, the version
who's tired, confused, scared orhell, just fucking over it.
(12:18):
You know, let them see that bevulnerable and it becomes easier
If you don't have those peoplein your life yet.
Where you can, where you can dothat, then start showing up as
you in your general life, likeyou don't have to be that hyper
capable version of yourself allthe time.
Just be the real you and, likeeveryone has always said, the
right people in your life willrespond to that and the wrong
ones will just fall away.
And that's kind of what we needin our life.
(12:39):
We need the right ones to stickaround and the wrong ones to
disappear, if you will.
I mean that's what we would allhope for, right?
I mean it would almost make ourlives perfect.
But that's not life.
We're still going to have thetrials and tribulations.
We're still going to have theup and downs, because that's
what makes life life.
We were.
I was actually walking with afriend this weekend and we were
talking about this cause.
We're doing a Bible study andwe were just talking about it
(13:01):
and I was like I can't rememberwhat she said, but she made a
comment and I was like you know,that's just how life is If we
didn't have sad moments, and Ican't remember where I heard
this.
It's definitely not a thoughtfor me, it's something I read or
listened to on a podcast.
But I was like if we didn'thave those sad moments, we
wouldn't know what happiness is.
We would just, I mean, we wouldfeel it, but we wouldn't really
truly appreciate it and wewouldn't know what it is.
(13:22):
Because, yes, sad things happenand it's horrific and it's
horrible, and it doesn't changethat it makes you sad, but time
does heal all wounds, like theysay, and then, once that sadness
has gone away, then we canexperience that happiness again
and you appreciate it a littlebit more each time.
So I'll start ending it here andI'll just want to say, if no
(13:44):
one's told you lately, I see you.
You don't always have to haveit together.
You don't have to be the strongone every single day.
Your strength can be beautiful,but your softness also deserves
a space.
And then something else that,like I saw on a quote that I
think is really cool andsomething that has stuck with me
, is this Independence isn'tabout isolation, it's about
(14:06):
having the choice to stand alone, but the freedom to not always
have to.
And that just really resonatedwith me because, even though I
can be independent and eventhough I can do most things by
myself, it's okay to allowpeople to help you and it does
start opening that softer sideof you.
So if this podcast or anythingresonated with you, then share
(14:28):
it with a friend who's beencaring a lot.
Let them know that they're notalone and just have a and just.
I think we should just all showup better as friends to each
other and just, I don't know,try to soften up if we will.
And I say this because this ishow I am and I know if I'm
struggling with this, then maybeothers are too.
(14:49):
But anywho, I will end it rightthere and, as always, guys,
until next time.
Bye, thank you.
What is up everyone?
Welcome back to another episodeof the Babbles Nonsense podcast
.
I do apologize for not postingan episode last week or
mentioning that I was going totake a week break.
By the time Tuesday rolledaround and work was done.
I was like you know what it is,what it is.
We're not posting anythingtoday and, I'll be honest,
sometimes I have been not reallyinspired to do an episode and
(00:22):
it's really like I've mentionedmultiple times on the episode.
Sometimes it can be hard to dosolo episodes, especially when
you're not a reality star,you're not, there's not a lot of
stuff happening or you're notgoing to a lot of things and you
kind of live a boring life.
But it is what it is.
We are here today, but today Iwanted to talk about something
that I feel maybe some peoplewon't talk about or they they
(00:43):
shy away from, and that's beinglike hyper independent and this
is more geared towards femalesper usual but like being that
hyper independent, strong, selfsufficient female and how
sometimes that can make us feellonely.
So if this interests you, orthis top you know, if this is
one of the topics you would loveto discuss, then stay tuned,
we're going to get into it.
All right, all right, guys,welcome back.
(01:32):
So, like I was saying in theintro, we are talking about you
know how being independent,strong and self sufficient can
sometimes feel really lonely,and you know I put myself in
that category as well.
I feel like I'm a veryindependent woman.
I have focused my entire lifeon my career.
I've prided myself in that,actually, and I guess it wasn't
(01:54):
until recently that I was like.
You know, I am a pretty goodcatch.
I'm pretty independent, and thelonger I stay single, it just
makes it harder.
To date, because you justbecome that hyper independence
where it's like you can do ityourself, you've done it
yourself for so long and thenwhen someone does come in to
help you, it's almost like whatdo they want?
You know what I'm saying.
(02:14):
So that's why I kind of justwanted to do this podcast out.
You know it's.
It's for those hyperindependent, emotionally self
sufficient women, the ones whoget labeled quote unquote
intimidating, too much or goodon her own end, quote.
Let's talk about that, let'sdive into that.
So, if we're being honest, youknow most of us didn't become
(02:35):
independent because life waseasy.
We had became that way becausewe had to.
Like I've mentioned severaltimes about my childhood and how
I pretty much was on my own, tomy sister being in trouble, in
and out of trouble and stufflike that.
So maybe you also grew up inchaos or with parents who leaned
on you more than they shouldhave.
(02:55):
Maybe you got burned out onetoo many times.
Maybe you had to become yourown safety net because nobody
else was watching you, watchingyou or catching you.
I guess I should say, if we'regoing to use the safety net, so
now those people don't typicallyask for help, we don't wait for
someone to rescue us, we don'tlean, we carry.
(03:15):
And yes, that can be powerfuland it can be badass, but also
it can get exhausting.
I don't know about y'all outthere, but I can get exhausted
with everything that is on myplate for being independent.
Because no matter how strong weare, we're still human at the
end of the day and humans needconnection, support, softness,
(03:35):
space to not have it alltogether.
Places to cry, someone to leanon someone, to just be there,
whether it just be theirpresence, whether it be talking,
whether it be going to dinner,having a drink, whatever that
presence may be for you.
I feel like we all, as humanscrave that connection and I used
to think that I didn't.
I used to be like I'm so fineon my own.
(03:56):
But in those moments when I wassaying that I typically was
around people, like I worked ina career where there was just
people around all the time, sowhen I did have my time to
myself at home, it just feltreally nice.
And now that I don't workaround a lot of people and I am
home more often than not bymyself, I'm constantly thinking
(04:18):
like, wow, I would reallyappreciate, like a friend right
now, I could really hang outwith someone right now or
something like that.
So just being vulnerable andhonest about that.
But also like I in the past havehad, you know, fights with my
friends because I would be likey'all don't check in on me,
y'all don't even know what I'mup to, like if I you know me and
my aunt have talked about thisa lot Like we all have friends,
(04:39):
that you have some friends thatare the glue that keep everybody
together, and then you havesome friends that are just kind
of like there and not.
That either is wrong, and itall comes down to personality
types and whatever that we don'thave time to get into because
me and you is not here and Icannot try to go down that
rabbit hole by myself.
But I used to.
I remember, like in college andstuff, like getting in fights
(05:00):
with my like my very bestfriends and I would be like I
went a week without texting youand you know, just to see if you
would respond or reach out tome first and you didn't.
But then I had to realize andgrow up and be like you know,
everyone has their own life,everyone has their own family.
You know they can't like Ican't be so dependent on them
when, yes, friends are yourchosen family but at the end of
(05:22):
the day they're still not yourfamily and they don't owe you
anything.
Actually, no one owes youanything at the end of the day
but yourself.
So that's where I would say itgets tricky, like when you're
the strong one and people dostop checking in, they stop
offering help, they assumeyou've got it all handled and
over time I guess one can startinternalizing that you, we stop
(05:43):
opening up, we stop expectingsupport, you could also become
the one everyone leans on, butno one ever thinks to ask like,
hey, how are you doing?
And I'm sure people can relateto this.
So that's where that lonelinesslike starts creeping in.
Right, that loneliness isn'talways about being physically
alone.
Sometimes it's just thatemotional aloneness, Like you
(06:04):
could be physically present,like I was talking about in my
career, like you could bephysically present with other
humans around, but if they'renot your people and they're not
the ones you count on or youconsider yourself close to, then
you still feel lonely, nomatter who's around, and it's
it's almost like you becomeemotionally invisible to people
and it's about knowing that ifyou don't keep your life
(06:26):
together, no one else will,because you have to depend on
yourself, and so that can becomevery heavy, like always
constantly leaning on yourself,because sometimes we just need
to bounce things off of you knowother people and I think like
even for me it you know, I canadmit it now and I can be
vulnerable about it now, becauseI've been through therapy, I've
worked on, you know, energyhealing and I have become strong
(06:48):
in myself and confident inmyself.
But at the end of the daysometimes I really get lonely.
Sometimes I really wish I hadeither a partner or best friend
that I can just constantly notconstantly, but like
consistently lean on, like Ihave friends that are there for
me, don't get me wrong.
I have great friends andwonderful friends, but, like I
said, we're all almost in our40s and they have their own
lives, they have their ownfamily, they have husbands,
(07:09):
children, stuff like that.
So it's not like it was incollege where I could be like
well, I should be at the toptier list.
You know what I'm saying.
But if we're just like talkingtruth, like that most of us
won't admit, I would say it's,sometimes we do wish that
someone would just take the lead, someone would say you don't
have to carry it all today, orsomeone would make us feel safe
(07:32):
enough to soften up, and thatcan kind of lead into a
different conversation, right,like if we're talking about
dating, sometimes it's hard forfemales who are hyper
independent to lean into theirfeminine energy, and I think
that's just because we're soused to doing everything which
is considered a masculine energy, not saying like you're
masculine or feminine when itcomes to the outward appearance.
But and this is something I hadto learn from me and you when we
(07:54):
were going through energyhealing and talking Like she was
like you have very masculineenergy she was talking to me
about that and I was like whatdo you mean?
Like I don't feel, like I'm avery masculine person.
And she was like Well, no, youjust have masculine energy.
Like you have to be the one todo things, you have to be the
one to initiate, and so I'm soused to that and sometimes it's
hard to pull back.
But when you are in the datingaspect of everything, if you
(08:15):
have a man that's not steppingup in their masculine energy,
it's really hard for a female toalso step up in their feminine
energy, for example.
So if I'm dating someone andthey're never initiating, like
they're never asking me on adate, they're never doing that,
I know one would say, well, theydon't like you, hon, and that's
.
That could be one.
That could be one thing.
But also in this era of dating,it also can just be that some
(08:38):
men want to be in there.
They this is all over TikTokright now.
And if you don't believe me,look it up like soft girl era
for the men.
Like the men want to tap intotheir feminine energy and that's
great.
I think there should be abalance to that.
But if it's a consistent thinglike that, so if I'm hyper
independent in my work life, inmy professional life and my
family life, and then I alsohave to be hyper independent,
(08:59):
which would be more of amasculine energy into into my
dating life, then it can becomea problem and it's not really
balanced out and like and maybethat's how men feel, I don't
know Maybe I should interview aman about their masculine versus
feminine energy.
Maybe they're constantly allthe time laying like I don't
want to be hyper independent.
So I think it could be a giveand take.
But they say men like thatbecause I mean obviously they're
(09:24):
, they want to lean more intotheir masculine energy and
sometimes when women are beingin their masculine energy, it
can turn a man off because theywant them to be in their
feminine Point being.
If you want someone to be intheir opposite energy, you have
to step up in that energy ifthat makes sense.
So if you, if you're a guy, andyou want a girl in their
feminine energy, then you haveto step up your masculine energy
(09:46):
so that the female can be morein her feminine energy.
If you're a female and you wantto show up in your feminine
energy more, then you have tostart doing that and allow men
to be more in their masculineenergy and stop taking control.
So it's a give and a take.
But going back to just the hyperindependence, I know it always
leads to dating, because that'sone of the things that you know
(10:07):
I do, so it's easier to talkabout.
But with all that being said,what I'm trying to say is
independence kind of likebecomes an armor for someone.
It becomes the way we protectourselves from disappointment,
abandonment or rejection.
Because I guess, like, askingfor help or being seen in that
struggle sometimes does feelscarier and it's not what we're,
(10:31):
not what we're used to.
And I can talk about myself,obviously.
So like, for example, I do stayin a masculine energy all the
time because I am single.
I do a lot of stuff by myself.
I had to grow up very young.
So like, like, just gettingstuff done in general, I am
always having to put 100% effortin.
Right, if I'm, if I'm the onlyone doing it, I have to put 100%
(10:53):
effort in.
It's not like I have a partneror friend or roommate or parents
that continue to help me.
It's me.
So I do have to show up in thatway, so I it can become a
struggle to learn to lean back alittle bit to allow someone
else to step up and help you.
But if you are in this season ofyour life where your strength
(11:13):
feels isolating, I do want youto hear this it's okay to need
people.
It does not make you weak, itactually makes you more of a
whole person, and I'm sayingthis to y'all, but I'm also
saying this to my inner dialogue, because I have to say this to
myself consistently and I'veworked on it, I've worked on it
in therapy, I've worked on itwith me and you.
(11:33):
So if it's something that youare struggling with, or you know
you do feel lonely or you dofeel like you're hyper
independent, then maybe that'swhere you start.
Maybe you start sharing that intherapy or with a life coach or
an energy healer, whoever youhave deemed that person to lean
on.
It's just starting, small right, it's.
You let one person in, and to me, I think it would be great to
(11:56):
you know, have that be aprofessional, but if it's not,
then you let that one person in,whether it be a friend, family
member, someone you met on thestreet.
You know what I'm saying.
Let someone see the unfilteredversion of you, the version
who's tired, confused, scared orhell, just fucking over it.
(12:18):
You know, let them see that bevulnerable and it becomes easier
If you don't have those peoplein your life yet.
Where you can, where you can dothat, then start showing up as
you in your general life, likeyou don't have to be that hyper
capable version of yourself allthe time.
Just be the real you and, likeeveryone has always said, the
right people in your life willrespond to that and the wrong
ones will just fall away.
And that's kind of what we needin our life.
(12:39):
We need the right ones to stickaround and the wrong ones to
disappear, if you will.
I mean that's what we would allhope for, right?
I mean it would almost make ourlives perfect.
But that's not life.
We're still going to have thetrials and tribulations.
We're still going to have theup and downs, because that's
what makes life life.
We were.
I was actually walking with afriend this weekend and we were
talking about this cause.
We're doing a Bible study andwe were just talking about it
(13:01):
and I was like I can't rememberwhat she said, but she made a
comment and I was like you know,that's just how life is If we
didn't have sad moments, and Ican't remember where I heard
this.
It's definitely not a thoughtfor me, it's something I read or
listened to on a podcast.
But I was like if we didn'thave those sad moments, we
wouldn't know what happiness is.
We would just, I mean, we wouldfeel it, but we wouldn't really
truly appreciate it and wewouldn't know what it is.
(13:22):
Because, yes, sad things happenand it's horrific and it's
horrible, and it doesn't changethat it makes you sad, but time
does heal all wounds, like theysay, and then, once that sadness
has gone away, then we canexperience that happiness again
and you appreciate it a littlebit more each time.
So I'll start ending it here andI'll just want to say, if no
(13:44):
one's told you lately, I see you.
You don't always have to haveit together.
You don't have to be the strongone every single day.
Your strength can be beautiful,but your softness also deserves
a space.
And then something else that,like I saw on a quote that I
think is really cool andsomething that has stuck with me
, is this Independence isn'tabout isolation, it's about
(14:06):
having the choice to stand alone, but the freedom to not always
have to.
And that just really resonatedwith me because, even though I
can be independent and eventhough I can do most things by
myself, it's okay to allowpeople to help you and it does
start opening that softer sideof you.
So if this podcast or anythingresonated with you, then share
(14:28):
it with a friend who's beencaring a lot.
Let them know that they're notalone and just have a and just.
I think we should just all showup better as friends to each
other and just, I don't know,try to soften up if we will.
And I say this because this ishow I am and I know if I'm
struggling with this, then maybeothers are too.
(14:49):
But anywho, I will end it rightthere and, as always, guys,
until next time.
Bye, thank you.
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