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December 11, 2025 23 mins

This is what it actually takes to stop caring what people think. For real this time.


Every person who grew up managing the reactions of parents, partners, and strangers online knows the courtroom that forms in your head. It’s where you replay every sentence you’ve said, trying to prove that you’re right or somehow good enough. This episode examines where this mental reflex takes root and why it survives long into adulthood, often sabotaging our ability to actually live. Our desperate need to explain ourselves becomes a quiet and destructive addiction.


You’ll hear how that instinct begins in childhood environments that equated misunderstanding with danger, how it shapes adult communication and creativity, and what actually happens when we finally stop compulsively defending our reputations and negotiating our innate right to simply exist.


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Head to patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to sign up today. Search the episode title and keep listening.


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