Episode Transcript
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Music.
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This episode of backstory sessions i'm joined
today by my co-host matt hey matt
hey kat hey everyone how are you well another
episode of the backstory of love yep your uh favorite time of year one of your
favorite times of year i guess we figured out last week yes and this is you
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know We had a great story to start off February.
I mean, because I like backstories a lot.
I mean, I'm fascinated by what makes someone into the person that they become, like all the events.
And it's the same with love. It's just like an extra layer of what made this
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couple, like how did they meet?
Right you know did they get on
each other's nerves you know have
they like faced hardships and like made
it or did they go separate ways for a bit or you know just advice they have
things like that right are fascinating because everybody has a little different
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love story even you know even Even people that like were in love once and then they fall out of love,
I guess, and find someone else.
I mean, it's usually like a different love story. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah. So, you know, Taylor Swift song. Yeah.
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Yep.
I mean, that should get us some listeners. Yeah.
But, you know, so she's a good example. example
of the songwriter you know that
writes like many of her songs based on i
guess her love life or
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breakup life yeah i mean you got to go with what you know i guess right yeah
well i mean i certainly write enough things about you know things of the heart
so i i think that whatever people are feeling is certainly going to spill over into their work.
And, you know, John Barry, he writes a lot of songs and love songs, too.
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So, Your Love Amazes Me, I wondered, like.
You know, was that for his wife or? Yeah, I do not know.
I know. So that's something I'd like to find out.
So that just adds another layer to this month of love, you know,
is that it's someone that is a performer and a writer.
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And, you know, so that'd be a great question to find out. Like,
you know, do they have a song even?
Right. I'll have to ask him that. Yeah. Yeah.
And then, you know, I did score like all three answers to the candy question last week. Yes, you did.
But I have some new facts about Valentine's Day if you want to go through. Oh, my gosh.
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Well, I'm not holding out much hope on me this week, but I'll do my best because
I'm fascinated with what you've come up with.
All right. Well, I don't know that these are necessarily questions.
I might have some. But so every year, thousands of people send letters to Juliet
from Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare.
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And apparently there's in Italy that resulted in the creation of the Juliet
Club, which is comprised of volunteers who actually respond to their letters.
Kind of interesting. Oh, my gosh.
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Do they not know how that story ends?
Yeah, I guess. Maybe they've read the play. I don't know. Seen the movie?
Well, I mean, so it's like, I guess it's like a Santa Claus for adults or something.
I mean, as much of a romantic as I am and have been, I can honestly say I've
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never thought of writing Dear Juliet.
Yeah have you i mean no i
mean no i i don't think i would
ever do that so i mean what so juliet then writes back like these volunteers
or whatever yes well send i mean does it cost money or uh i do not know it doesn't
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say anything about bad it just says that people write and they respond,
Well, no, like if I could send an email or something, I'd do it just for the heck of it.
Like now that you've mentioned it, you know, and then post my response,
like in the Facebook group.
Well, there you go. You can look up the Juliet group in Verona, Italy.
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But I don't have any money to do it, just saying that. Okay.
So you may or may not. Money for a stamp to go to Verona.
So you may or may not post it in a group. We'll see.
I definitely will post it in the group if it's free and I can email and get
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a response. All right. There you go.
All right. So what group of people get more Valentine's than anyone else?
I would say that the service people, you know, military, because.
That is not the correct answer.
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All right. People in hospital.
No, it's actually teachers. years oh
well i never got
that many really yeah i know
i mean i feel like i feel like all
my students out there owe me some valentine's this
year or something well that's a
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good question you know i think i'll post that in the group but that
is interesting you know i would have thought lot like we
would send the military yeah i mean that
would have been a you know that's probably like number two
or number three i would think okay so it
wasn't a bad answer you know i don't know that that's true
but i'm just throwing it out there it probably is okay
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this is good enough for me all right that's probably
like half right there yeah so hallmark
how many different print valentine's day
card designs do you think they print oh
my goodness each year probably i
would say there's like 10 000
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no you're way over
oh really yep i mean
you gotta gotta remember this is you know different
designs of cards it's not like i know
the total number of cards that that they print so many
situations too and valentine's you
know yeah like there's probably like a hundred cat ones.
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You know with like yeah so i
just thought okay all right then i'm gonna you know concentrate i'm gonna say.
There's 799 no there are 1400 well double my answer and you're close so there.
You go but you would be over so sorry on the price is right if you go over you You don't win.
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Now, I didn't go over. You did, too. You said 799 times 2.
Said if you don't double my oh i see okay all
right who spends more more money on valentine's day
men or women oh gosh i
mean you're gonna think it's gonna be men because in
general like they're expected to be
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the ones but you know valentine's i
mean like i i would say
i think think women are like more into the spirit
of it or whatever and guys i guess they
buy the valentine but generally i would think of it's more like flowers or dinner
you know but i mean it's easy to pick a card out too well all right i'm gonna
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go with the men but i don't know if that's true It is true. Ooh.
There you go. All right. This is an interesting one. What state has the most chocolate makers?
Well, it must not be Pennsylvania, because I doubt that you'd be asking if that was the case.
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But I'm going to say Pennsylvania anyways.
Pennsylvania is number two with 114. Oh, wow.
Okay. Okay, well, then I'd have to say, gosh, where's some good chocolate?
Well, there is no bad chocolate, really, right? So, Massachusetts.
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You are about 3,000 miles away. It is actually California.
Wow, well, okay, great California. but I did not, you know, guess that, obviously.
All right, last one. What percentage of people in the U.S. will send a Valentine's Day text?
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Oh, gosh. I mean, I don't think everybody that texts is going to, probably.
So I'm going to say 92%. No, you're pretty high. I'm high?
Yep. Well, not, you know, I'm not high, but...
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My answer is. Yes. So, all right.
Well, I don't believe that, but I'm all right. I'll drop to 72%. It's 63.
Man. I know. You know, that's just over half.
I mean, I would have thought it would have been higher.
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I don't believe that. I mean, you know, because,
like, how can you go through Valentine's Day and not even, like,
not even pick one person from everybody on your text list to say,
you know, happy Valentine's?
Yeah, well, I mean, I'm just reading what I'm presented, so.
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Yeah, well, I mean, you'd have to be shocked, too, right?
Yeah, I mean, I thought it would have been higher, but I guess not.
Well, it shows you what we know. All right. One bonus one.
Doctors used to prescribe chocolate to fix what? Everything.
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Because it does. Depression. Nope.
Well, sort of, I guess. It's a broken heart. Oh, yeah. Oh.
Well. So they're the ones who started,
like, you know, when you have a broken heart,
you eat a you know you eat ice
cream or chocolate or whatever there you can blame
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doctors for that all right i mean
it seems like a good treatment
you know like really though
nothing will mend a broken heart we already
know that from the love song so um people have
been singing about that for years and uh you
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know i don't know what mends it so not chocolate
but at least you can have fun like trying to mend it with chocolate well there
you go all right so all right so would you ever work with your spouse do you
think so i when i was teaching i used to think about that because Because, you know, there were,
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I would say, maybe three couples over my teaching career, you know,
married and taught the same school.
They seem like happy. And I was thinking like, you know, it would be good in
a way because like you would have a lot of stuff to talk about,
you know, because you'd be doing the same stuff and at the same meetings.
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And, you know, you probably would know some of the same kids and,
you know, it was just, I used to think, you know, that would be a good thing.
And also you wouldn't be with them like during the school day,
like maybe you'd see them at the lunch break or something.
But so I think in some situations it could be really good to to.
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You know, have some thing in common.
Certainly better than like people that have nothing to talk about and they come
home from work and they don't talk because they're you know,
everything is so different.
Different they don't have any point of reference so
in that way i think some jobs that could work
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out but like if you were like in
the same cubicle or something you know like yeah
no space and you're constantly and
then you come home and it's constantly then i think
that would create yeah a bad situation
but then you ride to work and ride home together
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and you know you just yeah too much
togetherness yeah and you know
people need space i think you know
maybe not maybe everybody doesn't i
don't know but yeah i you know i think most people do so i did actually ask
this question in the group and you know it was was kind of close and the people
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that but said they could work with their spouse or could not.
I wonder if any of them actually had.
Yeah, that would be interesting to know because our guests today have worked
together and maybe they still are.
We'll be finding out, but be curious to see how that is for them.
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Yeah, I was just wondering because last week we talked to Mason and Nathaniel and they work together.
Yes. And, you know, we've had, so it wasn't a Valentine's Day episode,
but we had the, you know, the couple that traveled in the RV thing, like the van life.
You know, from Alaska. Yeah. So, I mean, I, I cannot imagine that like being in, in a van,
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you know, with someone for months and months and months. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, you know, so that, that would be hard. Like, cause you need face and you need like space.
Yeah.
But, you know, so we have had people before talk about that and it seemed they seem to make it work.
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So I guess the lesson is, you know, that if you love someone and they love you
and it's meant to be, you can make anything work.
It just may not be the ideal situation.
Right. You have to learn how to compromise.
Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. I mean, it is something I did ponder there when I was listening.
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Yeah. All right. Well, excuse me. Let's talk to John and Robin.
Yeah, John and Robin Berry. Okay.
Well, we'll talk to John and Robin and see how they manage to make things work.
John and Robin, I want to welcome you to Backstory Session.
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Thank you it's good to
be with you thank you i am so excited for
this episode i love love stories and
love and the whole month of february so you
know i cannot wait to hear about how you
met and how you know just your
story because everybody's got that unique
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backstory and i can't wait to hear it well
go robin oh we definitely
have a crazy crazy love
story back in 1984 i
was a student at the university of georgia
in athens and friend of mine we were on a double date and we went to this little
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hole in the wall place and john was playing there with the guy who's still john's
face player michael c steel they were doing a little duo thing,
And she walked in and they sat at the table right in front of us.
And we're just one of these called fern bars, you know.
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And it was it was called rappers because it was in the rapping department of the old Davison.
Well, what used to be the rapping.
So it's a very small place, only held about less than 100 people.
And so I'm on the little stage there.
And these girls come in with their dates. they sit right at
the table in front of me and and one of
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the girls was really doggone pretty and i was
taken and i played all the appropriate songs to
bore those two boys to death and they went to the back room
to shoot pool and when we did when they did that we took
a break and i sat down
next to that pretty girl and a very i promise you i'm not
lying the very first thing i ever said to her was when are
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we getting married and is that
as stupid as anything you've ever heard that worst line ever it was like
you're talking to the hand but it
was kind of strange for about three years he
pursued me would ask me out
and i was like man i was in college and he was all six years and six years older
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yes but at the time that seemed like a lot didn't it and i thought my mother
would kill me if i went out with the guy who sat on a barstool and played music for a living in a bar.
I said, there's no way I'm going to live.
Yeah, because she grew up in a family where both of her brothers grew up to be military officers.
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You know, they, you know, they pretty straight up. And so this was kind of this is kind of odd.
Yeah. But but a couple of years later, we finally we finally went out on a date and we had a great time.
And I went back to school and she was done.
Yeah, I was like, OK, you know, that's fine. He called me next every single
day, sent me flowers once a week.
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I came home from college and
ready to tell me bye bye please leave
me alone coming home for christmas break coming on christmas break and we did
we went out every single day and on new year's eve he asked me to marry him
never said i love you will you date me he got down on his knee with a ring and propose. Wow.
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Wow. Here we are almost 36 years later.
Yeah, I proposed with a ring that I told the salesman, I'll be bringing this
back. I just get her attention and let her know I'm serious.
We did take it back. And had to get a bigger one.
It was not nearly the right size stone. Or clarity, for that matter.
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Okay so i have a lot of questions everybody does,
okay so first of all so the
night when you first met her and sat down
and to talk with her and ask her
you know about when you're getting married right off
i mean robin what's going going through your mind
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well it's it's
interesting I was from the first
time I saw him and heard him sing I
mean who knows I mean it's not like I hadn't been to
hear other people sing but I was really drawn to him and I don't know I just
was drawn to him and over the next couple of years years he had a real way of
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making me feel special when i came into the club and it's just crazy,
and your mama loves me come out with me to the club to hear you sing mama love johnny,
but you're on a date with someone else yeah i forgot about that yeah so you
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know he comes back back out, I guess, after pulled.
And I mean, is that it for how long until you hear from John again?
I don't know. I gave him actually my work phone number. Which I still have.
He still does have. A little slip of yellow paper.
I work at my do-I-do bridal center at the time.
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I didn't give him my home number because I figured, oh, he's probably not going
to call the bridal shop to speak to me. And lo and behold, he did.
How long after did he call the bridal shop? You know, I don't remember.
He was a pretty popular hangout when I was in college.
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It was like, so I saw him often because it was kind of the thing to do at the time.
All the sororities and fraternities would go out to this venue and hear John
Barry. And so I would see him quite frequently and he would always stay in touch with me.
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But I just I mean, the guy drove a van and he lived out in the country.
I was scary in a 12 by 24 storage building.
It was not quite my dream style of living. Let's clarify.
I was buying my first five acres, which turned into 150 acres.
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But let's just clarify. But it is scary.
We're calling the girl to go out on a date with a guy who lives way out in the
country in a shed. And drives a van.
Drives a panel van. Yes.
Do you still kidnap with a K?
Free candy. Robin, what was the ideal guy?
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Like, you know, before you met John and he made you come up.
Possibility well i can't answer military
i did grow up in a military family and i also was into sports a lot my dad played
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college football i grew up in a college football town i was in sports and And
David guys that were sports guys. Yeah.
And so probably, you know, and people from my church. And so John was none of
those things, but he did.
He, I knew he loved the Lord because he had told me a lot of stories about playing
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music for young life and out in Colorado.
And we had very similar backgrounds of parents.
And but no I think the music thing was really I mean back in the early 80s not
a lot of people were playing music for a living in bars now it's quite common
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everywhere but it wasn't quite so common back then.
Do you remember you attracted to him? Like, no, I was really, really drawn to him.
There was something that was, I, it was like a magnet that pulled me to him.
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And he, I mean, to really know John, he is a very kind, humble, quiet person.
Wow. You are. He's a very kind of quiet and he's not he's not going to be the
guy that fills up the room, you know, needs to have all the attention drawn to himself.
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He and I love that about him. I love his quiet demeanor.
And I mean, his voice really it did captivate me.
And but there was more to him than just the same.
That's for sure. Well, I don't know about that.
John, did you see yourself that way? Oh, I don't know.
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I am pretty quiet because I think in my younger days I was very loud.
And I kind of realized that and I got quiet.
So you got all that out of your system.
Yeah, yeah, really. Do you remember the first date?
Oh, yeah. We went to EuroRap. Yeah.
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We know we marked the table every time we
go in there well they're closed now unfortunately yeah but it was i
was so kind of wigged out because here he
shows up at the sorority house and i
keep going back to that but you know at 19 it was like oh my gosh this is so
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weird and i'm going out with a guy who plays music for a living it wasn't like
i was going out with a you know a I lost it.
It's just a guy who played music and wrote songs. Yeah. Pretty crazy.
Sounds crazy. Well, obviously you had fun and there was date number two and, you know.
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There was a date number two, probably about a year later. Yeah.
We're not rushing this.
Yeah. Yeah. If you like ever just think, you know, I'm just going to give up
on this because it seems like, you know, that's a pretty long.
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Oh, yeah. And yeah, when we when we ended up dating that August until well,
I'm sorry, we went out that summer and then she went back to college in another
town about 75 miles away.
And then she came and I kind of drove her crazy while she was there.
And then she came home for Christmas.
She was coming home and her intent was to tell me adios amigos.
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And but then I mean, when they pulled up with the car, I had gone to her house
to meet her and you wait for me. Yeah, and I saw her sitting in the back of
the car, and I could see it on her face.
As a matter of fact, I got up. I was heading home. I was leaving.
And because I knew, I said, nah, you've overdone it.
But something happened. We stayed there, and we ended up going out every night,
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every day for Christmas break.
And it snowed during that time.
Big snowstorm in Athens. And all of her sorority girlfriends or cheerleading
girlfriends came over. And we had a big time, huge time for days hanging at her mom's house.
We all kind of camped out there for a week. And we had a great time.
And then, you know, it came around New Year's Eve and,
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What do you do on New Year's Eve but get engaged or at least attempt?
So, John, when did you know that you wanted to end up marrying her?
I mean, I know you said that in the beginning, but when did you,
at that time, when did you decide that I'm going to propose on New Year's Eve?
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Well, that kind of came around after once we had been hanging out at Christmas and it was a great time.
And I really started to, you know, and since really when I talked to the sales
guy at the jewelry store, I said, look, I'm just I'm just trying to get her
attention. I'll be bringing this back.
You got to talk to my mama. Yeah. I said, do you have a rental ring?
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And but because I said, I'm just trying to get her to make sure she realizes
I'm really serious about this.
And but anyway, so we I'm going to interject and say during that three years
before we actually went out for that three weeks, he had a girlfriend.
But I would make her so angry when I came into the to where he was playing,
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because she knew that there was something there was some kind of chemistry that we had.
And it just infuriated her and so i think people knew but yeah it just took time didn't it yep,
so this is quite a story i guess john so you have the girlfriend are you feeling
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guilty at all that that you're pursuing somebody else and dating her or are
you honest with her about it or what?
Well, we were sort of, uh, by the time we were, by, by the time we got really
serious, we had the dating and that relationship had ended.
So, so yeah. Thinking if I'm Robin and you have a girlfriend and you're,
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you know, saying the marriage thing and all that.
Well, that was before the girlfriend. Okay.
Once I'd been turned down, I ended up having another girlfriend.
But then she still keeps coming around. I'm like, they're gone. They're gone, girl.
She's killing me. She's killing me. You couldn't get me out of your mind.
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I've ended you out of my mind.
Do you all have a song? We do have a song. Have I told you lately that I loved you?
That's it. I told you, there's no one else above you.
That's our Tomahawk. Take it away all, myself.
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That's our song oh
wow what a
story okay so you finally you get the ring and you go get the right ring and
all of that so how long until the wedding do you plan not long enough i was
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buying for like like November, December.
And he and my mom were like, oh, no, you need to do it right after you graduate.
And I'm like, oh, that's six months away.
July 7th, 1988.
You got the wrong. July 9th, I'm sorry. July 9th.
July 7th is what I was after.
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July the 9th is when we got married. So we kind of got, I said maybe on that New Year's Eve.
And i mean i think i just had to let it sink in that i was going back to school engaged and so.
It wasn't official until a few weeks later but
then we got married that that july till
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july of 88 what'd you do for
a honeymoon we went to saint simon's island stayed
at the king and prince hotel nice spectacular place
yeah we stayed on a cottage right on the beach and we
love saint simon's island we retire there with
my daughter got married at the same hotel oh that's awesome
love that place it's a really cool it's on the national historic register yeah
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and it's just an incredible place full of all kinds of history and it's just
a walk back in time when you go there it's really wonderful and we love that
place i guess and so So the rest is history,
right? Happily ever after.
Yeah, no troubles, nothing. No, good.
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Yeah. If anybody gets married and they think it's going to take their troubles away, they think it.
Yeah. When you say those vows, for better, for worse, and health,
and sickness and health and all that.
Yeah. Yeah, she has stood by through a whole lot of health issues and poor issues.
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And so she's hung on. The whole starving artist thing, I guess.
Yeah, the whole starving artist thing. Yeah.
I've been blessed, though. I mean, it wasn't until about three years after we
were married that I actually started singing with him full time.
And it's just turned into a life I could have never imagined. And...
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We get to do this life together. We're together all the time.
And it's pretty great. It's not like she goes off and does her job.
And I go off and do mine. And we get together and have dinner.
You know, it's not like that. We work together on this stuff all the time.
And sometimes it's great. And sometimes it's not so great.
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We don't always agree. Let's talk about the not so great. Great.
So what is it about each other that like irritates you?
Go ahead, Ross. You want me to go first? Go first, baby. Okay. Let me get my notepad.
I cannot stand. We had this conversation two nights ago when he brings his phone
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to bed because that thing is like, oh, get off the phone.
This is like, you know, it took us forever before I would allow us to have a TV in our bedroom.
So now you got the TV, you got the phone, and we're just so inundated with all this technology.
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The times back when you didn't have a TV in the bedroom and you didn't have
a cell phone to pick up to read emails or play games or look at social media.
I just think that is dangerous territory in the bedroom. room.
I don't think it should be in there.
That's why families used to be so huge back in the day.
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So, I bark at him all the time about, put that phone down in the bed.
All right. So, John, you know, what irritates you about Robin?
Oh, well, probably because she didn't want me to bring the phone to the bedroom.
Oh, what irritates me about Robin? come on spit it out i know there's something
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i can't think of a thing oh good answer,
oh i don't know maybe it probably
said but it drives me crazy but it's a good thing
she makes me really think through small and
large and small not not just not just big purchases but but all purchases think
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i'm through it yeah she's really strict about that and which is great great
i mean i'll call the credit card and go yeah yeah you may sound like i'm pretty easy i'm not,
well there's no there's nothing else like that nothing else he wants to say
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that's fine yeah that's a smart move john i feel like,
she's awesome i think that that goes to the fact that he is just a pretty easy
laid-back guy and not much gets under his skin because yeah that's how he is
yeah i'm just like yeah okay i'm good.
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Yeah, I'm good. Robin, when you were going to college, what were you,
you said that, you know, your life kind of went in a different direction than you imagined.
But what were you, what were your plans when you were in college?
Well, my degree is in health and physical education. And I did have a lot,
had a good background in music.
Played piano for like 15 years. I took lessons.
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I was in college choruses and travel organizations that traveled with music.
But my my plan was to get out and teach school and specifically in high school.
So I told her she did. She did her student teaching and the seniors are trying to ask her out on date.
(38:08):
She got asked to prom three times.
I did. I did one long term sub right after we got married.
And i knew then i'm
like man i maybe shouldn't be in the classroom teaching
it's a lot easier just to stay home
with him during the day and then when he goes out
(38:29):
to play go with him and sit in the audience and then
i put her to work and then he put me to work i joined the band
so john when did you realize that robin was
talented and you know she could be part
of the band and all all that well i know i
mean i know she had all kinds of talent she's she's a talented person
you can just sense it about her but we we had done
(38:52):
when we had in the early time when we got married starting christmas from 88
after we got married our pastor fred wowell asked us to do a christmas program
at the church that year and so robin and i did it with our sister-in-law tracy
who's married to Robin's brother,
who's a wonderful singer, and the church pianist, Betsy Williams.
(39:16):
And it was great, and she sang with me. It was fun, and we had a great time together.
And then, I'm not sure if it was that following January, but we did that Christmas
show at the church for years, even after I got a record deal.
But we were invited to come at the FFA convention at Jekyll Island to sing for this event.
(39:41):
And I told Robin, I said, look, you know, you should go with us and you should
sing with us so we don't come across like a bunch of, you know, hee-haw cowboys.
I don't know, it was the Future Farmers. It was all family farmers, you know.
And so we got there and she sang with me. She did a great job.
(40:02):
And when I introduced the band, when I introduced her, they went nuts.
They loved her. and then I was in Nashville recording some songs for a,
A demo deal with Warner Brothers and Kathy Matea's husband, John Vesner,
produced it. Wonderful guy.
And there were several songs that John had written that we recorded.
(40:24):
And Kathy Matea did the backup vocals on it for us. Cool.
And it was. And I learned those songs. You're getting on stage and singing just those five songs.
Yeah, we do those at the clubs in Athens and it was a lot of fun.
And she'd get up and sing those songs.
And then a couple of years went by when I finally went to Nashville and I did
my showcase for Jimmy Bowen at Capitol Records. They got me my record deal.
(40:48):
She was in the band singing. So, you know. They had a girl sing on the record.
And at that point, you know, I had a gig.
Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.
So when we started having children, they just went with us.
And Robin's mom toured with us for years. Nine years. My mom was on the road
with us full time and working us out.
(41:11):
We had babies on the road at six months, six weeks old.
Four weeks for Kaylin. Finally, by the time I got pregnant with the third,
because the boys are only 13 months apart.
By the time I got pregnant with
the third, we got kicked off the band bus and we had to get our own bus.
I said, we'd love to get out of here. Get off our bus.
We got the family bus and just rolled on. And, you know, my sister,
(41:36):
who was a wonderful mom and she had five children of her own.
And she told me, she said, don't think you've got to live your life around the kids.
She said, the kids will adapt to what you're doing.
She said, just take them with you. Yeah. So we homeschooled them.
And my mom was a teacher. And so we homeschooled our kids.
(41:56):
And for many, many years, they went everywhere.
And we didn't move to Nashville until about 10 years ago. So we stayed home
in Georgia and kept that as our base and it just worked.
So what if your mom had not liked John? Would it have worked? No.
(42:18):
But when I was back off at school, he would go over and visit my mom a lot before
he would go to sing that night at the club.
He'd go over and have dinner with my mom and just, they really got to know each other.
And I think, I think that was me.
(42:40):
I think she really knew his heart and my mama loved him so much, just like her own son.
I lost my mom many years ago when I was just about 20. And so Carol was a mom
to me longer than my own mom was.
And so she was, I was just like one of her own. and she loved me just like her
(43:01):
own boys yeah my mom was widowed at 46.
So it had been, it was a great life for her.
We moved her out next door to us on the farm and she went on the road with us.
And, you know, she quit her job at the high school and we put her on salary.
(43:24):
And she took care of the kids and did a lot of the accounting for the company.
And it just, you know.
It was good. It was just great. She loved you.
So much that's awesome that's awesome
yeah good thinking going going
and you know getting in good with the mother
first that's yeah the
(43:46):
plan that works yeah yeah yeah did
you have role model couples after you
got married you know where there's strong influences
that you could you know that helped you
as a young couple yes I think
first first and foremost both of
(44:08):
our parents even though we I lost my
dad at a young age and John lost his mom
at a young age our parents both of our parents were very strong couples my so
to have that influence in your life when you're a kid to know that your parents
love each other and they love you is a great first step,
(44:32):
I think, in your own marriage. You don't see it that way.
But then we had people in our church in Athens when we first got married that,
I mean, like the Chittums and the Kirbys, older couples who we saw how they
lived their life and how they raised their kids.
And And we knew we wanted that life for our kids and our families.
(44:58):
Was there ever any point where you, you know, where you said like,
wow, being on a road is just way too much and, you know, I want to have a sort of a normal life?
About the week before each tour would end, we'd start feeling that way.
And we'd be home for about two weeks and be like, ah, let's go. Time to go.
(45:20):
I think the hardest years were when we, you know, back in the 90s when John was getting started.
Started 90s artists were on the road all
the time right you never hardly came home i
bet i mean we toured over 200 dates a year and you
were never home so we were fortunate to have our kids with
(45:41):
us yeah as they got older and he
his career had peaked and we weren't on the road as much it was nice we were
going out and doing about 120 shows a year and the kids didn't always go with
Because by that time we had put them in school and my mom would stay with them.
(46:01):
And so we would be in and off, you know, in and out from the road a lot back then.
That was hard to pick up and not take the kids with us anymore.
But it was good for us. But it was good for us. As a couple,
it was good for us to have that time.
So when the cancer happened, Robin, how did you deal with that?
(46:27):
Just another John Barry Ilson. You know, I mean, it's kind of been funny.
When I met John, he had just come off a cane from when he had had a terrible
motorcycle accident and broke all these bones in his body.
And he had just that week stopped walking with the cane.
But he was still feeling a lot of the aches and pains. And then when we,
(46:51):
after I had our second baby, he collapsed in the hospital.
And that was when they had the brain cyst and had to do, you know,
take him to Atlanta and do major brain surgery.
So we've done that one. And then we've had vocal cord surgery during that.
(47:12):
Then we had the cancer. And oddly enough,
I, you know, God is funny because we had had just been through the same cancer
with our dear, dear friend and John's bass player.
Michael C. Steele had had the same cancer six months prior to John's diagnosis.
(47:35):
So we had just walked the path of the chemo and the radiation and all the side
effects with him through this.
So we had seen what it had done to him.
So I knew this was I knew in my heart this was not what was going to take John's life.
(47:55):
I think the scariest part was how much of it it was going to take away from
him being able to sing again. and are we going to be having to make a living some other way?
What was going to happen?
It was a very dark, it was a dark time just because he felt so miserable and
(48:18):
the type of cancer that it was.
It was a dark time, but I was, I'm a strong person and I'd like to think that,
you know, we just kept fighting through it.
You just fight through it. Yeah.
Pray through it. So why do you both think that, you know, the divorce rate is
(48:42):
so high? Why do you think that is?
Marriage is hard. word but um
it has to it has to be a faith component in
marriage there has to be and because without without faith and and and it's
not a it's not a it's not just you and you and that other person it's it's it's
(49:03):
uh it's you know with me and robin it's it's it's me robin and him And we made that vow.
And I mean, really, during the brain issue, probably marriage wise was the toughest.
I was pregnant with our second child and he, because of the brain tumor, he had gotten very mean.
(49:32):
Of course we didn't know that that's what it was we
thought that it was i mean i didn't
know what was wrong with him i didn't know if he just was
whatever whatever he was
just very mean sent us home from the road
so i was sitting at home pregnant and
just while he was out on the road road
(49:54):
and songs were going up the charts
and I was I mean it was a very painful dark time but I got that chance to really
draw close to the Lord and when you do that I mean I knew something he just
told me everything was going to be okay I didn't know how but.
(50:16):
When they found him on the floor and they found the thing in his brain and they
said, that's what's causing him to act this way.
I'm like, OK. And when he had surgery, he woke up and he was back to my John.
And, you know, he doesn't remember a lot of that and how ugly he was.
And but it was it was a really dark time for our marriage.
(50:41):
I had a lot of hurts to get over and I was young.
But you know yeah john
you and i have that in common i actually had a brain tumor as well wow yeah
did it make you mean and you know it was probably the steroids afterwards that
made it that way yeah that can be tough yeah yeah i was on it for like a month
(51:04):
and a month and a half i I think, after the surgery.
But, yeah, it was just a thing.
Yeah. So. Yeah.
So, I know social media doesn't come into the bedroom, but we're going to ask
you some of these cute little questions, too.
(51:25):
You know, in the spirit of Valentine's Day, I've seen this on social media a lot.
So, you know, which of you is the most impatient?
Me. No, I was going to say me because I'm the barky one.
It might depend on what it's about. Well, the next one is the most stubborn.
(51:46):
So that could go either way, too, from your answer of above.
I would say that would be me because, you know, when we come into business decisions,
I am pretty dogmatic that I'm always right.
He's almost always right. He lets me be right most of the time.
(52:09):
Who falls asleep first? Robin does.
Because I go to bed first. He sits here on the sofa and goes to sleep.
I have to holler for him to come to bed.
Who's the better cook? We definitely know that one. Thank you,
honey. I appreciate that.
(52:33):
The only thing i can make is candied bacon sometimes i ask him if i can return
him for somebody that cooks because he can't even boil a hot dog,
can make good bacon though apparently yeah,
who's the better driver oh thank you very much yes that would be me that's because
(52:58):
he can drive the bus and back it up with the trailer on it all right john all
those years with the van no that's it,
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Other than Cracker Barrel World Street. We go places that, you know,
(53:22):
you can get like steak or chicken or something like that.
I mean, for the most part. So you're not going to like a sushi bar or something? No. Okay.
No. No. If we lived in Nashville, we'd probably hit up some of the really cool
restaurants all the time, like Urban Grub, but we don't live in town.
(53:47):
We're a small town, but we've got a couple of nice little local restaurants
that we frequent, but they're just sort of mixed menu, lots of Americana food.
When you go to those places, are people like, oh, that's John Barry? No.
Nobody has any. Oh, okay. they have no idea who i used to be who you are,
(54:12):
i think they do it's just people are
so kind yeah i mean i was in home goods the other day and in walks marty stewart
and his wife connie smith wow and they walk into home goods like nothing yeah
that's awesome and where are you we're wearing clothes like regular people.
(54:35):
That's funny all right well who's needed definitely me you're making a funny face.
Let's go let's go look at the counter in our in our bedroom do you have like
a man cave john closet what john do you have like a man cave where you like Like, I don't know. Yes.
(55:03):
Upstairs, where your office is. See? Ah. Well, it's sort of, sort of, yeah.
It's not really. It's a big bonus room over the garage, and there's,
like, TV. But I've got one corner of it.
I've sort of, I've taken over about half the room. I've got my junk all over
the place, the guitars and gear. And the table's covered.
Bookkeeping. Bookkeeping. Yeah. We can have it.
(55:27):
Got to pay that bill. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, so this last one from the quiz is, you know, who said I love you first? Me.
Yeah. I was going to bet money on that one.
Yeah, because when he asked me to marry him, I was so shocked.
(55:48):
I said, you haven't even ever told me you loved me. I didn't even know we were dating.
He said, well, I do love you.
You're hot. Get it all in. You're hot.
That's the new I love you. Yeah. No, it's not.
(56:12):
I disagree with that one. I'm just kidding. It's funny.
This is a great story. And I guess my final question, as you look back over your life together,
if you could have all the things happen in life but not each other so if you
(56:33):
both ended up in the music career and you know all of the things but you're
not with each other you know what,
what is the benefit of each other.
Well i very highly doubt my
i mean i would not have been musical but
(56:56):
i mean just the fact that we get
to do life together because in the
end i mean we're only here for a little while
and it's it's
how you spend your time here it's not
the music that makes the life it's it's
us and our kids and our family and
(57:17):
what we get to do together and be
and yeah yeah yeah
i'd like to say well you probably wouldn't have been in the music business you'd
probably be a teacher because that was your plan and you'd have been a great
teacher and it may have probably still been a music business but you know who
(57:37):
knows it was without Robin's input and her persistence.
You were more than a club singer.
I might still be playing clubs in Athens. I might be playing the BSW tonight.
Yes, I think we've been brought to the table.
I mean, we have made, I don't know how to say it, we've just made a life together.
(58:01):
You complete me.
Paint well doesn't need to be any more
said than that that's right uh so valentine's day plans curious do you celebrate
that is that a big day um a lot of times we're out on the road singing for valentine's day hmm,
(58:30):
So you should celebrate that for other people. Yeah. With a paying gig.
So what are, what are you? It's important to just have Valentine's day every day.
I mean, you got to remind each other all the time that you love each other.
(58:53):
And I need that from him and think he needs it from me.
And it's just it's not
a one day a year celebration it's every
day you got to celebrate the love and your story and the path you've walked
for the good and the bad agreed well thank you we're gonna let you go but thank
(59:17):
you so much for coming on and talking to us and telling us about Without your meeting,
it's a pretty interesting story, for sure.
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. We sure enjoyed the opportunity to speak with both of you.
And hopefully we'll have a chance to do it again or a chance to see you.
Anytime. You guys can come by and talk to us. Tell us what you're up to.
(59:39):
And, you know, we look forward to it.
If you have some photos that you would like us to share with our listeners,
send those to Scott or text them or whatever,
we'd love to include a few can we text to this number yeah,
(01:00:00):
0491 that'd be great.
Alright well thank you so much we really appreciate your time thank you all
have a great evening you too take care bye bye.
Music.
(01:00:30):
As always, if you have any questions, concerns, or comments,
you can send those to cat at irightplaysatoutlook.com or you can write to me
at backstorychessings at gmail.com or matt at level11.com.
Music.