February 18, 2024 • 69 mins
Hello Backstory fans! Join us for an exciting episode, as we delve into the love story of country music artists, Bobby Tomberlin and Tess Frizzell, who discuss their respective musical journeys filled with shared experiences, challenges, triumphs, and how their paths crossed in Nashville. Amid their professional struggles, they highlight the importance of mutual respect, authenticity, and the transformative power of shared experiences in deepening their bond.
The story unfolds further, taking us on an intimate journey through their career milestones, hilarious mix-ups and dating experiences, illuminating how their shared love for music intertwined with their romantic ties. Through candid discussions of their life together, career achievements, and shared memories, you'll glimpse how their love transcends the chaos of the entertainment industry, strengthening through trials and tribulations, and provides a refreshing blend of humor, love, and realism.
Also, we talk about Cat's experience with the "Dear Juliet" club in Verona, Italy, and Victorian-era practices like pinning bay leaves to your pillow to attract love. An interesting backstory of Necco candy hearts, and the probably best forgotten tradition of "Vinegar Valentines" are also discussed. We hope you enjoy this sweet and fun episode!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Music.
(00:53):
Episode of Backstory Sessions. I'm joined today by my co-host Matt.
Hey Matt. Hey Kat. Hey everyone. How are you?
Well here we are with another episode of you know the Backstories of Love.
Yes this is the last one or is there one after this?
(01:15):
Well this is the last official one I think You know, because Valentine's Day
has now, you know, come and gone. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Well, and I will say, like, this, you know, like, this couple is very fascinating
to me because we've had them both as guests before. Yes, but separately.
(01:42):
Yes, and we really didn't know that they were a couple, right?
I mean. No, not the first time.
Yeah and then you know
started like trying to putting these things together
and you know we were right and so
today we're gonna get to hear their story and
uh and because you know i i like
(02:04):
both of them a lot and i think you know
what a neat couple and she's so talented
like an art you know this visual art
like just amazing and i know
like yes i have one of
her lithographs yes i'd get ready to
say you know and it's bobby's song one more
(02:25):
day that's right he did help write that yeah and so you know it's like that
is inspired like that is written with the r it's just you know they seem to
work very well together so i i think it's gonna be a great story and i I can't wait to hear that.
And it's one of those perfect Valentine's Day songs. Yeah, well...
(02:49):
I want to say one thing about, I think we mentioned, you mentioned actually
on an episode or so back of the love, you know, the Dear Juliet, Juliet Club, whatever.
Oh, yes. Yes. People will write letters to Juliet from Romeo and Juliet.
And that started the, apparently there's a group in Italy somewhere where you send these to.
(03:18):
Verona. Yes, Verona, Italy, and they actually reply.
Okay, well, that's what I wanted to point out. You know, I did say to the listeners
that if it was free to do and I could do it by email, I would.
And then I would post, you know, the response that I got back from Juliet.
(03:38):
And my email came back and like the server was, you know, too busy or whatever.
So obviously everybody had the same idea
of like okay it's valentine's and you know that's right to juliet well i think
it's probably because we mentioned it on the podcast well no doubt because everybody
(03:59):
like you know does everything that you tell them to do so including me.
Well anyways it did not get through but i'm
not giving up i am going to rescind it
i thought i'd give it like a little bit of time to you know die down a little
bit if it does i mean you know i don't know they could be riding on these like
(04:24):
all year long that's right it could be like the you know what am i thinking
of around the holidays they do that christmas carol thing,
Like, you mean like writing to Santa Claus? No, no, no, the Christmas Carol
thing where you call, what is it, Dial-A-Carol or whatever it is?
(04:45):
Carol, yes, I'm so grateful to do that.
So, yay, thumbs up to Dial-A-Carol.
Well, I don't know, but if I ever do get a response back or get my email through,
you know, I am going to update on that. Because I'm very curious,
you know, like to see what Juliet's going to tell me.
(05:07):
Well, I mean, as I understood it, and maybe I'm wrong, and I probably am because
I don't know anything about it other than what I read in a brief snippet of an article.
I would assume that it's men who write to Juliet, no? Oh, my God.
I mean, I don't know. I mean, it could be.
(05:30):
Well i mean she's clearly taken
by romeo of all he's dead technically but
so is she you know i feel like really if
you think about it that is one of the sickest like love stories if you want
to yeah yeah well i mean you know it is a classic so yes it is a classic that
(05:50):
i taught for many years but i still always felt like no i don't want that That love, exactly. Yeah.
You know, like, that's not the happy ending. But, well, I mean, it's an ending.
But, I mean, I did not know that part.
See, you should have led with that before I, like, did mine.
(06:11):
I mean, just thinking about it, it would make sense that it's men who are writing.
But, I mean, I suppose women could do, you know, maybe ask for advice or whatever.
Well, then I'm going to change my name. I'll be like, I'm Matt.
Okay i used to be cats right yeah,
(06:33):
Yeah, well, I don't know. I
mean, so there needs to be a Dear Romeo club out there for me to ride to.
There you go. You could start that one.
Yeah, right here in Parkerville, Kentucky. There you go.
If you want love, I think this is the place to get your wish. Yeah.
(06:56):
Well, okay. So, you know how you were doing statistics and questions?
Yeah i have a couple more okay well i have one so all right go ahead should
i start with it yes of course okay so you know valentine's has come and gone
and how many like what percentage of people,
(07:20):
bought themselves a Valentine's gift? Hmm.
I'm going to guess I mean,
45%. So why do you think that? Because that's pretty high. It's almost half.
Why do you think that it might be? I think that people figure I buy something
(07:45):
for someone else. Might as well buy something for me.
Okay. Well, all right. So, did you buy yourself a gift for Valentine's Day?
Not that I remember. I was probably working and, you know, my life during the
week when Valentine's was on Wednesday, I think.
(08:05):
Yeah. So, my life during the week is work, home, sleep, repeat.
Well, I did not buy myself a gift either. So, like, based on that statistic, it would be like 0%.
Right. but it's gonna
be it's gonna shock you because it's a low number it's
like eight percent wow yeah only
(08:30):
eight percent people and maybe it's for the reasons like
you said you know middle of the week and whatever or maybe
you know most people maybe just had
somebody buying them all this stuff and they didn't like
either that or the people are single and they're just like
i'm gonna buy buy myself something but not all single people
feel that way they're just like valentine's day
(08:52):
i'm single this sucks i'm not buying myself anything
well some people are like i'm
single i'm happy about it and still not
buying myself anything that's true maybe that's
why the number is so low yeah i mean who knows
but i i thought you would find that interesting and
that's the the only thing i have on that all righty well
(09:13):
i only have a couple so it's kind
of interesting during the victorian era
era and into the 20th century
those who didn't want the attention of certain people
would anonymously send vinegar valentines i don't know what that is but i think
(09:35):
I think it's not so much the act of sending vinegar or Valentine's dipped in
vinegar or something like that.
They were actually cards that you could buy that they were sort of,
you know, like, I don't want to be your Valentine because you stink or something like that.
(09:56):
They're a little bit cruel and they could be purchased to insult just about anyone in your life.
Oh my god so hallmark truly does make a card for every occasion,
apparently i mean.
I don't even know what to say about that. I mean, that's kind of, well, okay.
(10:20):
So, I mean, the closest thing, you know, is, like, when they used to sell,
I don't know if they still do.
Because, you know, obviously, it's been a gazillion years since I was in school
to buy Valentine's. But, you
know, that you would get the box of whatever theme that you picked out.
And there would be the ugly ones, you know. know
(10:41):
and like every and then there
was like the big ones you know the big nice ones
too and so everybody would know
like whoever got the big nice ones you know
was the popular and and you
know if you got the other ones especially like if
you've got it from someone you really liked and they
(11:03):
give you the bad valentine you know
so it could be hard like crush your heart and
wait for a day or so yeah so it's
probably like something like the vinegar it's like preparing you to get some
vinegar right yeah all right well so those vinegar valentines weren't the only
(11:24):
strange tradition from england from england Okay, what else you got here?
From England. So, in the 1700s, English women would pin five bay leaves to their pillow.
One in the center and four on the corners.
(11:47):
On the night of February 13th in order to have sweet dreams about their future husband.
So, if you have some bay leaf, you know, you could try that next year.
Oh it has to be on the 13th yeah yeah well you know i mean i i could i could
(12:07):
like say oh yeah i might try that you know i mean i don't think that likes hurting
anybody you know yeah unless you're allergic to bay leaf or something i guess.
Well, or you don't have any dream, you know, that you can remember.
And then it'll be like, that could, you know, that means like there's nobody
for you. Right. Right. Right. Yeah.
(12:30):
So, I mean, yeah, in a way that kind of sucks. So I'm thinking now, well, let's not do that.
And besides that, I mean, it's probably not going to tell you anyways,
because you probably Probably already are dreaming of whoever is,
you know, whoever's in your subconscious that you think it's for you,
(12:52):
whether they really are or not.
I don't really think you even need the bay leaves to do that.
Well, just, you know, 1700s, they were, I guess, trying everything they could.
Well, as one should. Right. Everything they can for love. So,
(13:12):
that's, you know, I'll agree with that part of it.
I think they could try a little bit more than the Bay leaves.
Alrighty. Well, one more for the road, shall we say. Right.
So, did you know that those little candy hearts were not available for Valentine's Day in 2019?
(13:36):
Because of COVID? No. No, it was because the company that in 2018,
the company that made the little candy hearts, Necco, you remember Necco wafers? Yes. Yeah.
So they made all the candy hearts up to that point.
But in 2018, they declared bankruptcy and they were forced to close the original
(14:02):
plant and sell off the candy brands that they made.
They made a bunch of different ones apparently so this other
company ended up acquiring the rights to the
candy hearts and it
must be like brocks or nesco or no it's called spangler i never heard wrong
(14:27):
but it took them a bit a bit to get a production up and running so yeah 2019
you know didn't work out. So.
Well, that got right past me. I did not know, you know, that they weren't out here.
Yeah, it says they returned to shelves in 2020.
(14:49):
And apparently there were some changes due to equipment problems.
But then by 2021, they'd worked out all the issues.
And now I'm glad you brought those up because, you know, we did just closed out Cupid 2.0.
And uh you know it was a valentine's
(15:11):
obviously cupid you know love
in the air kind of show and the
audience was given a box of those
little hearts so they were very hard
to find you know because like when
you wait right to the last minute to get them everybody's
(15:33):
trying to get them for valentine's for classes you
know at school and all of that so anyways the
people that came to the show were lucky enough
to have that little box of hearts and
you know did you like read them you
used to read them before you ate them i sure i
(15:53):
guess my favorite color what was your
favorite color i had a favorite i don't
think i ever remember having a favorite color
of of them i like the purple ones just
because of the way they looked or did they taste different i
think they all taste the same like yeah they're
(16:13):
not even like to me not that good no but the purple with the pink writing it
just looked nice and i i just always like really like the purple more than the
pink and never did like the green and you know i don't I don't even know if
there's, there's must be yellow, I think.
I don't remember all the colors, but I remember I liked the purple.
(16:38):
Okay. Well, I don't know what purple signifies, but. Prince,
obviously. Yes, of course.
Like what else? Oh, well, Barney the dinosaur, you know, there've been some. Right. Yeah.
Iconic purple things like purple rain.
(16:59):
But, yeah, I don't know. I don't know why I like that. The color purple, you know, movie.
So I guess it was just like all those factors in my mind said, like the purple one.
And so I did. All righty. Well, what would you say is the most popular restaurant on Valentine's Day?
(17:21):
Well, you know, I hope it is not McDonald's. You know, I shouldn't say that.
I mean, if you want to go to McDonald's, wherever you want to go for love,
your love dinner, that is good.
But, you know, it seems to me like I remember reading Once Upon a Time,
something about it being like White Castle or Crystal, like someplace like that.
(17:42):
Really? Yeah. Huh.
You are very wrong.
Well you know it could have it could have
been like another i've almost thought
it was valentine's day though and i thought well that's really strange
like i mean i guess you could get like a whole lot
of food for i don't even know how much one
(18:04):
costs now but all right so if i'm
really thinking like where do people like this
would be a sit down kind of restaurant you i
mean i would would think people generally would
like you know i mean i
hope it's not cracker barrel too so what type of cuisine do you think would
(18:25):
be the most popular well you know i hope it's not chinese or something like
i mean i think seafood probably is like places that have steak and And seafood,
you know, like surf and turf kind of thing.
No, no. The most popular is actually. Italian. Huh?
(18:48):
Italian. I want to change my answer. Yeah, okay.
All right. So, Italian is the most popular. What's number two?
Okay. Okay. Number two then would have to be, well, can I go back to surf and turf? Nope. Nope.
(19:09):
Okay, that's the kid.
Good guess, but no, it's actually French. Well, that's, you know, that's good, too.
Yeah. So there you have it. There's my Valentine's Day facts.
Well, and, you know, I want to check in on that White Castle crystals thing,
(19:34):
because, you know, it is a popular place to go on some holiday,
day and it doesn't quite make sense it would be valentine's but you know in
my mind somewhere it seems like i you know remember that or something well let's
hope we don't find out that it's like the truck stop or something pilot flying jay.
(20:01):
But as we said it does not matter where you go right Right, right, yeah.
Long is the slow. We learned that from Bon Jovi, you know, because Johnny used
to work on the dock. That's right.
He did. Then that damn union went on strike.
(20:23):
But they held on to what they had. Right, yeah.
Because they got each other, and that's a lot. Right, right, yeah. Yeah.
All right. We don't need to know until we get to hear Bobby and Tess's story.
All right. Well, let's talk to them and see what they got.
(20:44):
All right. Here we go. Well, Bobby and Tess, I want to welcome you back to Backstory
Sessions. It's really so exciting to get to talk to you both again.
Oh, my gosh. Thanks for having us. It's always fun being on here.
Yeah it's been a whole god it's probably been a couple
of years almost now it has and
(21:06):
i think we met bobby first and then
tess this is the first time of
having you both together and of course we
know there's a reason for that because you're both now
on our february back stories
of love we call this month
you know back stories
(21:28):
of love i love it yeah me too
and so tech i think it's
interesting when we had you on last you had
the song the wrong one had yeah it
had come out and you'd written that and you know we
talked a lot about that so i'm guessing that bobby is probably not who that
(21:51):
song was let's hope that song wasn't about bobby that'd be all yeah i would
hope especially since especially since i wrote on the song he was a co-writer on it that's true.
Oh that made for a short episode,
(22:11):
I know. Wow. We thought we thought this was going to go another way.
Okay. So no, we both, we, that's the song, you know, we co-wrote that her grandmother
started and we finished it with, with Billy Law.
So no, that definitely wasn't what that was about.
(22:32):
Hey, let's, who knows what it's really about. I mean, our grandmother had the ideas.
Well, that is true. Very pretty song, too. Thank you. Thank you.
Wait until you hear some of the new music. It's really, they have some great stuff.
Well, tell us about that. You know, catch us up a little bit on the writing
(22:54):
and what you've been doing project-wise before we get into the love.
Yeah, sure. Absolutely. So, still working on this recording project. checked.
And actually, we just got back last night from Muscle Shoals,
where I'm recording this album at Wishbone Studios and just so much amazing,
(23:14):
rich music history down there.
And I'm just so excited about this album.
It's kind of just like my dream album project where I get to just pick all the things I want.
I don't have a label telling me what to do or or any creative direction.
I can just really do what I want, pick the songs I want.
(23:34):
So most of them will be originals, like The Wrong One, which was already released,
a single off of the album.
But there will be a couple from my family that I'm recutting,
but I'll leave that to be a surprise.
But I'm so excited about it.
I'm going to put this going to be out.
What now? When will this be released? Oh, later this year. It's a 2020 release. So, yeah. Correct.
(24:01):
Yeah. Headed back next weekend to record some more about halfway done.
It's really something to see Tess work in the studio because she really,
she knows what she wants, knows what she likes.
And the bar is high. The bar is set high, but she always gets it.
That is a wonderful way of saying that i,
(24:26):
you know it might be a little hard to please
in the studio but you know i'm working with billy lawson he's producing
this and it's such a great fit because he does everything so
tastefully and you know i've mentioned before
about just how i i'm really
not into the overproduction that you find
a lot of in Nashville where there's literally everything
(24:48):
thrown at the song to where you it just drowns
out the singer and it's just overproduced and I
that's not my style and he's right I know
what I like and what I want and so it's just a really great fit
to be working that was a compliment yeah I
really was because I unfortunately I've
(25:08):
had to work with so many many people who don't know who they
are musically they are so just all
over the map and that's the one thing about Tess she really knows who she is
as an artist and that's always a joy you know when you could work with someone
like that in the studio I mean I've worked with people one week they're very
(25:28):
traditional country the next week they're doing a pop thing then they're doing
this this rap country thing.
So anyway, it's a lot of fun, I'm trying to say.
Well, so outside of the music realm, Bobby, do you find Tess to be the same
way, knowing what she wants?
(25:51):
Yeah. I mean, absolutely. I mean, yeah. I mean, usually it's not hard to figure it out.
I mean, she, she yeah she's a
you know what with all jokes aside i mean we can be i
could totally get really humorous with that question but
in all reality she just is a strong
woman who just happens to
(26:14):
be so talented in so many areas and at
the same time she's very strong but at the same time
very loving very giving to people has one
of the most beautiful hearts i've ever seen and and
definitely one of the most talented I mean god she can do these
amazing pieces of art that she paints she can write songs she can sing she can
(26:35):
I mean I don't know that there's a whole lot she can't do I mean I couldn't
even draw I can barely write my name so well thank you that's very sweet so Tess what is Bobby like?
I was going to say, wow, that's a long picture.
That's one way for this to get the podcast to get started. He's already scored all the points.
(27:02):
But, you know, Bobby is also, I could say all the same things about him and
it sounds so cliche, but that really is what made me fall for him.
And, you know, when I met him, there was already several people that I was close
with in my life that would praise him for years.
You know, I mean, just he's so thoughtful, very thoughtful.
(27:24):
I mean, this man, the trip that he planned for us to go on after Christmas,
just this surprise after Christmas trip was the cutest, sweetest,
most thoughtful planned out thing.
And you know and he's just generous of course
and and very talented very very
talented and i love that it's never it's like never a competition
(27:44):
because we get that you know curiosity
that question sometimes when you're with another person who's
also highly creative or maybe does some
of the same things it's never like competitive
there's no jealousy like i'm his of biggest fan he's my biggest fan we're like
cheering each other on because if you're in any kind of creative business it
(28:07):
is a roller coaster like one day you think oh my gosh like i'm kind of nailing
it here like i'm doing great and then the next day you're like oh my gosh i'm the worst.
And it can be a roller coaster so it's really great to have a cheerleader in
each other well you've said all of that i mean that's all correct and i mean
(28:28):
if elvis presley came back tonight and said,
I want to record one of your two songs,
either yours, Bobby, or you, Tess, I'd say record hers.
And I would be so happy. And I really mean that.
And I guess when you love somebody, you know, I guess that's kind of what you do.
But at the same time, you ask her that question, but I'm going to go ahead and
(28:49):
add to it. I'm very complicated.
I'm very, I'm very, I think I'm a really nice guy. I'm a giving guy too.
But at the same time, songwriters, especially songwriters, I mean,
she's a songwriter artist.
I mean, I guess I am too. I do shows, but I'm writing for the market and that
can totally drive you crazy.
And there's days, I mean, I'm up at three o'clock in the morning.
(29:12):
I mean, she's, you know, we'll call the next, you know, talk the next day and
be like, oh, what time did you get up at?
Oh, I'm like, yeah, three o'clock in the morning, I'm up, you know,
trying to come up with an idea for a writing session the next morning, you know, 10 o'clock.
And I mean, that just creates a lot of chaos in the mind.
And it's a wonder any of us has any sanity and so much rejection,
(29:36):
you know, I mean, you'll write so many songs and it's like you just got to be
prepared every day for rejection.
And that can be I've seen a lot of my friends bring that into their relationships,
you know, with their partners.
And it does not work very well. I mean, I'm getting good. I'm growing.
Even at this age, I'm still growing. I'm learning how to cut the switch off
(29:59):
and not bring all of that kind of chaos in when we have time together.
You know, I just maybe that's just a part of getting old. I don't know.
Maybe I'm telling you more than you want.
I want to know everything so so.
If there were a time when one
(30:19):
of your careers was you know hitting rock bottom for whatever reason for you
know more than just like a short period and the other person was finding great
success at that same time how would you deal with that,
I wouldn't have any problem with that. I mean, I mean, I haven't been to that point, I don't guess.
(30:44):
But at the same time, I know me well enough that I mean, I know how this business is.
I have, you know, each week I'm on rock bottom about 75 percent of the way.
Yeah, not really. Not really.
But honestly, even over the course of the few years we've been together,
(31:04):
I mean, even just enduring a pandemic.
Together we've endured the loss of
bobby's mother you know and just
other hardships between loss of shows
when it's a pandemic and other crazy
things my dad having a heart attack you know when you go through all
of that stuff life stuff and career stuff it's just
(31:25):
such a roller coaster and i can honestly say like i would not want to do life
with somebody else because he's so great at like being being just encouraging
when it's like the lows and also
just the first one to be the most excited when there's like a victory.
And so it's just, it's great on both ends. And it's, and like you said,
(31:49):
though, because we're in creative businesses, it's kind of a rollercoaster every week.
I mean, to some extent, it really feels like that.
It feels like you had a rejection and then you had a victory and then you,
you know, so it's, it's just a, it's a crazy business. this?
Honestly, I mean, for me, I'm at a point in life where, you know,
(32:10):
relationships mean more to me than success.
I mean, we need success to keep paying bills and, you know, keep moving forward.
But at the same time, you know, this past four years, it's morbid to say this,
but I actually finally made a list of how many people I've lost since the pandemic.
(32:30):
And it wasn't all due to COVID it by any means it
was just all kinds of situations young people
old people middle age and i've lost you
know almost 40 people and a lot of these people a majority of them were people
i talked to every week and had long friendships with some i wrote songs some
i did shows with and that has been one of the hardest things i've ever dealt
(32:52):
with but at the same time i've grown from it and it's made me realize whether.
Charlie Bozo cuts a song online or not, that's not going to be like, that's not my God.
And he used to, I, that was everything to me that defined if I was at peace or not.
And now I'm like, you know what? Garth Brooks doesn't like one of my songs.
(33:15):
I don't, you know, I don't care. I really don't.
So, yeah. And maybe that's easier said.
Maybe it's easier to say that since I've had been blessed with so much.
Some of my heroes recording my songs. As long as I have a song out right now
that was recorded by Bill Anderson, Vince Gill, Bobby Bear, Jimmy Fortune,
the Statler Brothers, and Willie Nelson.
And then Willie just cut a new song a couple of months ago.
(33:38):
So, you know, that doesn't hurt either.
So, I don't know. You know, life is pretty darn good. I think you've gotten
to this place where you really enjoy and appreciate that.
And you're like, wow, this is such a blessing.
I'm going to enjoy this. like that this just got cut versus
(33:58):
okay already time to worry about the next
thing you know yeah and another and
if a radio you know programmer i mean hey it's great to have songs on the radio
but if some you know that isn't my god either i'm not worried about some consultant
who controls a majority of the radio stations whether he's going to make my
life happy or not you know that's that's It's just not the way to live. It's not.
(34:24):
Yeah. So it sounds like that the relationship has been an added part of like
what makes happiness for you now.
Oh, definitely. Are you kidding? Absolutely.
I mean, it's kind of a calm in the storm.
Of course, you know, with Tess, she was raised in this business.
I mean, I was a disc jockey, as we talked before, when I was 11 years old.
(34:48):
So I was around it to some degree, but she literally was raised,
as you heard in your podcast with her on a tour of her grand.
I mean, it's crazy, it seems.
But, you know, so she's like, I feel like even though it's two very different
stories, in some ways, they're both so crazy.
(35:12):
Crazy some of my stories from my childhood and
growing up the way i did in this family of country
music and the way he has stories of
kellen given you know an interview to johnny cash at 11 years old it's kind
of like we're both this odd shaped nut out of the bag and then we found each
other and we're like oh well it kind of fits it's easy that's true i agree with
(35:36):
that and but tess is is just easy to love.
And I mean, like even in my hometown, it's like everyone's adopted her,
And whether she goes once every six months, whatever.
I mean, people, they stay in touch with her through social media,
and they just all, they're crazy about.
And that's kind of the case anywhere she goes.
(35:56):
Well, how did the nuts get together? Okay.
So, you know, I've been waiting to hear the back story of this. Great question.
You know, what is funny is today when I thought about us doing this podcast,
I realized we have never, I mean, we've done so many.
Interviews and individually and podcasts
(36:16):
interviews radio interviews and never have we done one where we like told our
love story so how cool this is like i know i didn't realize that till today
and it's it's a crazy story well it is crazy because i'm i was a stalk i was a.
(36:38):
No no i'm kidding
no but you know we actually officially met
in 2017 and it was at this annual event that happens but it was the very first
year of it they do this dotty west birthday bash in honor of my grandmother
and they do it here in nashville at a place called third and Lindsley and they
(37:01):
have all kinds of different artists come.
Jamie Johnson, Bill Anderson, all kinds of people have come and they sing in
her memory and they raise money for charity.
So the very first year was 2017.
And we met then, but I don't really remember a whole lot about this meeting. Sorry, Bobby.
I remember it. I mean, there's not much of a story to tell, but definitely I remember it.
(37:29):
And then we were even on stage together, you know, with Bill Anderson and Jamie
Johnson, Jeannie Seedle, Larry Catlin.
At one point, there's pictures of that. Yeah, we were on stage together.
And then your grandmother was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.
And then the next year, yes, the next year, my grandmother was inducted into
the Country Music Hall of Fame and Bobby was at that.
(37:50):
And by that point, we had been, you know, acquaintances and Facebook friends
and all of that for a year and been at different events, seen each other.
And and he was there that night. And apparently he said he was sitting across
the aisle from me, which I didn't know that either. Maybe you were a little bit of a stalker, Bobby.
Hey, maybe so. But so we didn't officially start dating until well into the pandemic.
(38:17):
But what's really crazy is that Bobby is from a small town in Alabama,
Lutheran, Alabama, South Alabama.
And as he said, when he was a kid, he was actually a DJ.
He literally was a DJ at 11 years old. And so when my mom and my Uncle David,
(38:40):
my mom is Shelly West, and her duet partner was David Frizzell.
And they had a big hit out together called You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma
when she was pregnant with me.
And she traveled the whole country singing that pregnant with me.
She sang it on the Grammys pregnant with me.
And apparently she sang it in what town was it, Bobby?
Troy, Alabama, which is only 20 minutes from my hometown.
(39:03):
Town she's singing in troy alabama pregnant
with me and they were on the show with ronnie milstap and
bobby's dad took him to this
concert and bobby was at it when
my mom was pregnant with me and the very next month she gave birth to me so
so i can say he officially met me way back then and he actually you know what
(39:28):
the craziest thing is when we were dating he said he went back to to his hometown
and he was in his bedroom that he grew up and he said,
you're not going to believe what I found in a drawer,
the concert ticket of your mom and your uncle.
When I went, I was young and she was pregnant with you literally found the concert ticket.
(39:48):
I've got something that totally matches that. I actually announced her birth
on the radio. Is that not crazy?
I mean, that is crazy.
That's definitely out there you can't even make that up that is absolutely crazy.
But then, you know, when the pandemic happened, because see,
(40:10):
Bobby is just, he's one busy guy.
I mean, Curb, he's been with Curb Records for almost 30 years as a writer.
And, you know, just his calendar is full of writing appointments.
And then the pandemic happened. And it's like all of a sudden,
nobody could get together.
Curb shut down. And so he and I started talking and he just was begging me to
(40:36):
get together and do some writing.
And it's just so funny because, you know, I've got all these songwriters in my family.
My grandmother actually was the first female in country music to win a Grammy
for a song that she co-wrote with my granddad.
And so that's super special.
And then, you know, like my Uncle Lefty, who's also in the Country Music Hall
(40:59):
of Fame. I mean, he was a renowned songwriter, wrote several country classics.
One song he wrote, That's the Way Love Goes, actually went number one for both
Johnny Rodriguez and Merle Haggard.
And so for some reason even
though my major in college
was creative writing i've always been too intimidated to write
(41:20):
songs because i just thought i don't know it's just
too much like it's just been too intimidating with all of that family history
and so even her dad even her dad wrote a dickhead for country singer gene watson
gene yeah he had a number one hit that he wrote wrote for Gene Watson.
So a lot of songwriters in the family.
(41:43):
And I just thought, I don't know, I'm not going to touch that.
It just feels intimidating and I'll overthink it. And,
And Bobby was like, no, no, no, you've got to write with me.
I can tell you're a writer.
Just trust me, which is actually very funny to think about, because there's
people just begging to write a song with Bobby.
And I'm like, no, no, no.
(42:03):
Yeah, but she was actually in Messenger.
She could even share an email, and there would be song ideas in it.
I mean, that's how I knew that that was in her.
I could just feel it. Plus, I thought, my gosh, your DNA, how could you not have it?
So yes he pulled a
little trick on me and then you know he was going through something and
(42:24):
i sent him a message and said all this stuff and he comes back and he says listen
to this song you wrote and he took all of this stuff that i said and he put
it in a song and i said okay i said you know what all right i'll get together
and we can we can try to write a song then like you you've You've got me convinced.
(42:45):
And so we did. And we started writing and we were still just friends, you know, at this point.
And we were writing. And I have to admit, like the second I was with him, it was so comfortable.
And we were just writing song after song after song.
And I absolutely fell in love with songwriting first.
And then i started falling in love with bobby and
(43:07):
it was so funny because you know when we first
got together bobby was like you know i just have
to tell you he said well what kind of songs do you want to write and i said
oh gosh you know i mean i'm like i love the saddest saddest country music songs
you know like that's that's the best you know when it's super sad and it just
(43:27):
rips your your heart out. Like, let's, let's write a song like that, you know?
And he said, okay. And he said, well, you know, I just, I, I don't really write love songs.
Like I don't, I've been a co-writer on some and it's their idea,
but I don't, it's just not really my thing.
I don't really do love songs. And I'm like, well, okay. I mean,
I just want to write sad songs anyway.
So we get together and it was so funny because I realized about,
(43:52):
Nine or ten songs in, I thought, wait a second. We have not written a single
sad song. These are all love songs.
Isn't that crazy? Yeah. So then I started, you know, kind of getting the hint.
So, Bobby, was that the, you know, was it the plan to get her together to write? And then, you know.
(44:14):
No. I mean, I can honestly say no. I just thought she had the talent and I had
the time with the pandemic.
My calendar definitely was not even didn't have
any rights on it and i thought well this would be a good time
and you should try it at least and if you don't like it yeah
then you know there you've tried it and man the
(44:35):
lines she would come out with i mean just crazy
you know i and then when somebody gives me great lines that
just inspires me to you know come up
with special melodies and it was it's just you know
she has so many irons
in the fire of course i have a lot of of them too but like
with songwriting she really has no idea how great a
(44:56):
writer she is i mean i know people that have had huge success
and they just don't you know there's just
no comparison i mean she just will come up with some of the freshest lines and
she really knows how to make them better she doesn't settle for less and and
that actually helps me it inspires me because it's easy to get in that song
(45:17):
factory state of mind here where you're going and rushing through through this
song, going to the next one,
you know, and when she does write one,
you know, it's, it's really good. So.
But there's really something to be said for the comfort level that Bobby gives
and other people have said this, other writers,
Janie Seeley had kind of stopped writing for a little while,
(45:39):
even though she's written, had some great cuts early in her career and stuff.
And she got together with Bobby and she was like, oh my gosh, she just
makes you so so comfortable so that really was what it
was at first and he had me
so comfortable that it went for me
feeling so intimidated i didn't even want to attempt
to even write a song period to literally going
(46:01):
in there and here's bobby who's been with curb
records for so many years had a huge number one hit had other hits had songs
cut by all the legends and i'm literally telling him no no no that is not good
enough we can come up with something better than that like on appointment one i was like no.
(46:24):
Do you know what else though blew me away is that
i remember we just for fun took a little break and started singing like every
time two fools collide a song made famous by her grandmother kenny rogers or
maybe a little bit of oklahoma you're the reason god made oklahoma and i never
have been one to sing with other people, male or female.
(46:46):
My voice just doesn't seem to blend, or at least with the people I had worked with,
I have this more low register going on for one thing.
And for some reason, she has this richness in her voice, not too high pitched.
And it just totally, I mean, right off the bat, there was a blend there that I couldn't believe.
(47:08):
And, you know, one of the first songs we wrote, we literally sing it together,
every line. And she's going to be recording that song.
And it's a love song called Lay Down and Love Me. And and, you know,
it didn't it didn't take long to start having feelings for sure,
because, you know, those are real.
Yeah. Just like you said, like we we knew that each other saying we had kind
(47:31):
of been some of the same things, but neither one of us had ever just really thought much about it.
And then as we're writing, he said, well, let's kind of break away and just
sing something, you know, together and then we'll come back.
And all of a sudden it's just like we started singing and both of us were like, whoa, that's crazy.
(47:51):
I mean, we just had chills. We just didn't, neither one of us planned it.
And, you know, over the years, I've had some people that I'll sing with if,
If I'm being asked to do You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma,
there will always be some sort of guy, some cowboy, some bass player,
something that joins me on the song.
And it's never usually good, to be honest.
(48:14):
And all of a sudden, we are just singing and we are like, whoa, this is crazy.
Like, it's just some sort of crazy chemistry going on with our voices.
And that's kind of what started it.
And I love it. I love to hear it, you know, played back. And I don't really,
you know, I'm not going to be sitting around listening to anything I do.
(48:35):
I'm off listening to other people, whether it's Barbra Streisand,
Nat King Cole, or Merle Haggard, or Hank Williams.
And I love listening to us. I mean, it's funny, in the studio this past weekend
was the very first time we ever recorded together.
And I'm not going to spill the beans and tell you what song,
because that can be a surprise later when the record's released.
(48:55):
Least but it was i was anxious to see what
we sound like sounded like in the studio
because i know live it's really magical and
then you know the producer called me this morning and he says man this is so
good and and i'm i'm really excited about it but you know throw all that out
the window i mean at the end of the day she just has a beautiful heart and easy
(49:19):
to love and and just It's beautiful in every way, inside and out.
And that all sounds cliche, but it's very true.
And, you know, you hear this said often, you feel like you've known someone your whole life.
And it's just that easy for the most part.
(49:39):
So what was the moment when you both knew, like, this is going to be fun?
Yeah, that's a good question. That is a good question.
I think for me, a few, several songwriting appointments in, I just started feeling
(50:05):
like all of these love songs.
I just was sitting there like, is he writing this about me?
It was too close to home. I don't think it could have been about anybody else.
And I just thought, you know, I just, he was also at that time going through
some things with his mother being in poor health.
(50:26):
And I just, he was so, so just concerned for his mom with all of this.
And my heart would just hurt if I thought he was hurting.
And I thought, oh gosh, I must be falling.
You know what I would do? I would, I'm just really being honest.
And I'm pretty open, but there's also a part of me that's very closed,
(50:49):
but I'll tell you something I did.
I would like Google things like,
Is she into you? Oh my goodness, the cutest.
Is that not the cutest thing ever? I can't believe I'm actually saying that.
But I did that. I know. And I think it's adorable. Like that a grown man.
(51:10):
Really? I'm leaving this writing appointment and he's getting on Google.
Like, how could you tell if she likes me?
Yeah. And then I would do it over and over again. Just trying to find anything.
Oh my gosh. I mean, isn't that crazy? I mean, looking back at that,
it's just wild how it works, you know. So was there a first date?
(51:33):
I mean, did you guys, you know, officially?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah.
I mean, it was after a lot of writing. It was like after a lot of writing.
Yeah. You know, we never looked at his dates by any means. Right.
Yeah. Those were the dates. Especially not in the beginning.
(51:55):
Yeah. No, no. But when we did have a first date, he, I said,
well, he was asking me what I would want to do.
And I said, well, just surprise me.
And I'm thinking like, you know, I meant surprise, like pick the restaurant.
That's all I meant, you know? And so, so we get in the car and we're just talking.
(52:16):
We've always just had, we just talk and talk and talk.
I mean, he and I travel to do shows. We have done shows all the way out Hollywood,
California, all the way to Gulf Shores.
You know, we've been to New York City together. So we do a lot of traveling
and we literally never run out of things to say.
So there's always a lot of great conversation, which is wonderful.
But so we're just talking and talking and all of a sudden I'm like,
(52:41):
gosh, we've been talking. I haven't even paid attention, but I think we've been driving for a while.
And like, where is he taking me? And I look on the road. I look on the road
and I'm like, well, how strange.
I feel like all of these license plates say Alabama.
And, you know, surely we're not like out of Tennessee.
(53:02):
And then I'm like, wait a second, is he kidnapping me?
But he had literally for our
first date he drove all the way to muscle shoals and
then drove me around and told me about a lot of the history and you know told
me about some of his memories there took me to a little romantic italian restaurant
(53:23):
and so it was a great first date awesome all right cat yeah yeah because i had
lived there in muscle shoals before moving moving to Nashville,
that's where I started really learning about the craft of songwriting because
it's definitely one of those second homes to me still.
And it's a very comfortable place to be in. And I just thought,
well, that's a great, you know, first date place and has a beautiful little
(53:48):
downtown, you know, and a nice little Italian restaurant.
And then we drove down to, I remember one of the studios and then one of the
songs that her grandmother recorded, you know, came on. And yeah,
it was just on the radio and we're sitting there.
Yeah, it was crazy. It's perfect. It really was.
So it's been a couple of years, I guess now, right?
(54:11):
Pandemic was when this started and, you know, things are going good. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's crazy. It's been some of the most turbulent times ever,
but also some of the most beautiful times.
I mean, when I say turbulent, not with her, but I'm just saying all the life stuff.
I mean, and, you know, that seems to be this case with the most everyone,
(54:32):
but, you know, I mean, it sure is a plus to have someone, you know,
during a lot of those storms. I mean, she's been through them too. Not just me.
I mean, it's been really special getting to be strong. For sure.
I think when you go through a lot of storms, outside storms in a relationship,
(54:52):
you're probably either going to break up or you're just going to grow way stronger.
And we have, it's like, I don't know how we have been through the amount of things that we have.
In a short time, really. I know, and three and a half or so years,
just the amount of, you know, some of it that everyone's gone through,
like a pandemic, and just how that trickled down and affects so much of life.
(55:16):
And then, you know, loss of family members or friends, or like he was talking
about all the losses. I mean, he was constantly singing at a funeral.
I feel like every weekend he sang at a funeral there for a year.
Which you know I actually counted that too again sounding morbid but it's been
it's been over 15 that I either had to be a pallbearer at or either sing at
(55:37):
in the last it's just crazy I mean I.
You know, but what it's done, I mean, he's just grown so much and it's definitely
made us closer because you just, when you go through all of that together,
you really figure out, you know, this person loves me.
If I have a dollar in my bank account or $200,000 in my bank account, they love me.
(56:02):
If I quit songwriting, cause I've had it this week and I just want to say that I'm going to quit.
And it's like, okay, if you quit, I'm still here. So love you.
It's fine. You know, like, I love you for your heart.
Or if you have a number one on the radio, like you really find out,
you know, when you're going through all of that, what kind of love you're dealing with.
(56:22):
And you know what? The reality is you're saying that it makes me think we're all the same.
So often so many people that aren't in the entertainment business,
they think that people in this business are totally so different from them.
But the truth is, we're all the same. We all hurt.
We all have problems, whether it's financial or whatever.
(56:44):
I mean, you know, or losing people.
And that's, you know, what is this almost comical to me, how some people just
think it's so different for people in this business.
If anything, it may be more chaotic and more heartbreak.
I know people you just it's sad. I shouldn't even say this, but I have seen
(57:04):
some of the most sad cases, people that have hit the highest highs and they're so miserable.
And some of them are still, you know, riding high in this business,
but they're not happy people. And how sad is that?
Yeah. I'll say, you know what, my whole point of saying that is it all comes
down to love. I think that is so much the key.
(57:27):
And, you know, if someone is listening and they don't have that love in their
life still, just having love, whether it is a family member or friend.
But the icing on the cake is when you do find love.
One that you can really share that with but at the end of the day it's it's
my dear friend who passed away andrew dorff he always would say it's all about
(57:48):
the love that is true all right cat are you there i am and are you asleep cat i mean.
Because i you know i i'm a kindred spirit
about all of this i feel that very very same
way about love being the most important
thing is but the first time
(58:10):
that i suspected that you all might be a couple
you know i was reading about going to a
wrong wedding and so that makes
me laugh out loud just hearing you say that i
mean that was one of the craziest things oh my gosh
we get we get into the craziest adventures
(58:33):
i don't even know so that was a
crazy one my my cousin was getting married and
i had told him all week i said you know i am so concerned that somehow i'm getting
because i'm kind of chronically late so i was like i am so worried that somehow
i'm gonna mess this up like we have got to be on time you know and all week
(58:56):
i I was just very kind of obsessed with it.
And so the day comes and I'm like, okay, I think we've got it.
But we had to drive to a hotel and then this bus was going to shuttle us out
because it was at this gigantic, like a dam, this beautiful scenery.
But you had to actually take the shuttle bus to it.
(59:19):
And so first off, we drive to the hotel and I'm like, okay, I think we've made it.
And then I'm worried that my uncle, I'm on the phone the whole time with my
uncle. And I'm like, well, where are you? Where are you, Dale?
And I said, oh gosh, you're trying to drive there and not take the bus.
Oh my gosh, you're not going to make it. Like, this is terrible.
And I'm so worried that he's not going to make it. The whole time I'm telling
(59:42):
Bobby, like, Dale is never going to make it. I don't even know where he is.
And so I'm so concerned about that. and then we show up to the hotel and i'm
like okay we made it just in time but the black shuttle bus is starting to pull
off and i said oh my gosh bobby chase down the bus.
We you know he chases it down because the first
(01:00:03):
hotel we went to was the wrong hotel that was the same name
so by the time we get to the right one it's the bus is
leaving so he chases down the bus we get on the bus and i'm like okay now i
can relax like everyone's dressed up for the wedding people have their wedding
present remember what i said though i said oh these people recently stuck up
people i know and i was like well that is just judgmental bobby,
(01:00:30):
i was like i mean it must be his family
because my cousin was the bride and i was like i don't know i
mean it must be his family but you know i'm not gonna think
like that like that's terrible and so we're sitting
there and i'm like i'm just so relieved that we caught the bus
you know obviously my uncle he's gonna miss the
whole thing poor dale he must you know but we have made it i can breathe a sigh
(01:00:52):
of relief here and so we're driving and bobby's like oh there's where george
jones there blah blah typical bobby
you know it's like the history of all everything and then we get there,
And we get out and it's beautiful. And actually, we like visited with some people.
We didn't know them, but we just visited. We took pictures.
(01:01:15):
We left the presents. And I said, oh, gosh, you know, the wedding is about to
start. I think I'm going to give my Uncle Dale one more.
And Dale is actually the youngest sibling of my grandmother, Dottie West.
And it's my cousin, May, who is getting married. And so actually the gift,
(01:01:36):
one of the wedding presents was a photo of my grandmother holding me and May.
So it was very like custom gift. And then, you know, some other stuff from Bed,
Bath and Beyond or whatever.
But one thing is like really custom. So we left the present and I said,
I'm just going to give Dale one last call, you know, before we go in and tell
him that, like, he's missed it, but we'll go ahead and go in and he can make it to the reception.
(01:02:01):
So I call him and he's like, well, I'm almost there or whatever.
And I said, well, Dale, I'm sorry, but, you know, it's about to start.
So we're going to go in and get a seat. But, you know, we'll see you at the reception.
And so we go in and again
we visited with people and we go
in and sit down and then you know it's
(01:02:22):
like i started noticing things i thought well that's weird she talked about
like a waterfall and a dam and i said there's like just a little pond down there
i mean not but you know whatever after maybe she just exaggerated a little it's
fine and then that's the way she described,
the venue i mean it's a little small i mean not judging it's really pretty but
(01:02:46):
it's not like she talked about and then bobby said you know the preacher said
okay everyone turn your phones off we're getting started and people start walking
down the aisle of the wedding party and bobby says,
i think we're at the wrong wedding and i literally thought
he was joking i was like that is not even fun like
i've been worried all week about this and here we are the only one representing
(01:03:10):
the west side of the family because i don't see any of them here and luckily
we made it and he said no no really he said ask the person next to you who's
getting married and i'm like are you kidding me and i asked her and she's like
jimmy and kelly and i'm like oh.
And she bobby gets up and runs.
(01:03:35):
Which why in the world did you have to have such a dramatic exit because i'm
like oh my gosh people are gonna think who knows what about us,
that is,
And I'm like, oh, my gosh, where even are we? We don't even know where we are.
Like this bus took us way out in the middle of nowhere. We were talking.
We don't know where we are.
And I said, oh, Bobby, you have to go take the present back.
(01:04:00):
Like, I can't. I can't do it.
And the present was her grandmother and what? Your cousin?
Yeah. That'd be so weird to open. So I was like, no, you have to go.
You have to go take it back. so he like you
know head between his legs goes in you
know like so embarrassed like well you know i'm gonna need that present back
(01:04:22):
the wedding coordinator that we're at the wrong wedding and she's like busy
trying to run this wedding and so she's just kind of like okay get the present
and go and so we're just standing in this parking lot and we're like we don't
even have a a clue where we are in the state.
(01:04:43):
Luckily, this guy on a golf cart just happens to hear us talking and he just laughed his head off.
He's like, I have worked this property for wedding venues all these years.
I've never seen anyone do this.
You're like out in Leapers Fork or some crazy far out place and he was like,
I'll just drive you because we were trying to call an Uber.
We couldn't even get signal. We're like, where are we?
(01:05:06):
So sure enough, this guy felt sorry
for us and he was like get in my truck i'm gonna drive you 40 minutes to
the right place and you know we get out of that truck to the right wedding and
there's my family just looking at me like yep that's about like that oh man
yeah that's like a movie or something yeah so fun.
(01:05:31):
Well, it sounds like it's love to me. So it's been so fun to hear the backstory.
I had no idea, but I knew it would be a beautiful story. And it certainly is.
And I think it just has the characteristics of both of you from our interviews
from before there's the humor and history and the writing and just how it all comes together.
(01:05:57):
And, and I had no doubt that you were both very thoughtful.
You know, very kind people. So I'm just so happy that you did find each other in the way that you did.
Well, thank you so much. They always say when, when you're not looking,
you know, that's when it happens.
And I want to apologize to you because I haven't heard, well,
(01:06:19):
either I have to apologize to both of you.
I haven't hardly heard any words from you because
when you get both of of us together oh we're talking
i know we probably let them ask any questions it's
fine really appreciate your support and everything and yeah really love the
first podcast that we did and it is very cool that this is the first time we've
(01:06:41):
done one together that it's with you oh absolutely as soon as you told me about
this i was like oh we are in i loved doing the first one plus because I love a love story.
And, you know, you know, it's great when you both really feel like you're the lucky one.
Like all the time he does things for me or he'll do.
Thoughtful he'll do something romantic or just you
(01:07:04):
know like the perfect way i would want to be loved i'm like oh my gosh i'm so
lucky and then he's like oh no i'm so lucky you know what i'm really i'll feel
lucky i'm thankful that you just said all of that and some of the other things
you've said because i'm going to keep this podcast and you're upset with me and i'm going to play.
(01:07:25):
That's really funny though i will say about
two people who are like songwriters at
heart and they're in love is if you are
and you know everybody has a disagreement i i get a
little moody when there's a sound check i'll admit i don't like
sound check so i might pick a fight during a sound check and then
i'm back to nice and good we're all good but you
(01:07:46):
know if you've been in a relationship long enough you're gonna have a disagreement you're
gonna have an argument whatever and it's so funny because if
we're ever having one i'm like oh shoot that's
a really good line oh that's a title right there and
i'm like you can't stop yourself you
can't stop yourself from thinking that way well thank you thank you so much
(01:08:10):
guys for being on the podcast we really really appreciate you taking time to
talk with us and uh of course we want you to come back and talk to us anytime,
well you definitely want to talk to you want to talk to Jess when she gets this
project done because yes,
there's going to be some more great backstories no there's some really fun backstories
(01:08:33):
yeah for sure but really do appreciate appreciate both of you and thank you yes.
Music.
Music.
(00:53):
Episode of Backstory Sessions. I'm joined today by my co-host Matt.
Hey Matt. Hey Kat. Hey everyone. How are you?
Well here we are with another episode of you know the Backstories of Love.
Yes this is the last one or is there one after this?
(01:15):
Well this is the last official one I think You know, because Valentine's Day
has now, you know, come and gone. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Well, and I will say, like, this, you know, like, this couple is very fascinating
to me because we've had them both as guests before. Yes, but separately.
(01:42):
Yes, and we really didn't know that they were a couple, right?
I mean. No, not the first time.
Yeah and then you know
started like trying to putting these things together
and you know we were right and so
today we're gonna get to hear their story and
uh and because you know i i like
(02:04):
both of them a lot and i think you know
what a neat couple and she's so talented
like an art you know this visual art
like just amazing and i know
like yes i have one of
her lithographs yes i'd get ready to
say you know and it's bobby's song one more
(02:25):
day that's right he did help write that yeah and so you know it's like that
is inspired like that is written with the r it's just you know they seem to
work very well together so i i think it's gonna be a great story and i I can't wait to hear that.
And it's one of those perfect Valentine's Day songs. Yeah, well...
(02:49):
I want to say one thing about, I think we mentioned, you mentioned actually
on an episode or so back of the love, you know, the Dear Juliet, Juliet Club, whatever.
Oh, yes. Yes. People will write letters to Juliet from Romeo and Juliet.
And that started the, apparently there's a group in Italy somewhere where you send these to.
(03:18):
Verona. Yes, Verona, Italy, and they actually reply.
Okay, well, that's what I wanted to point out. You know, I did say to the listeners
that if it was free to do and I could do it by email, I would.
And then I would post, you know, the response that I got back from Juliet.
(03:38):
And my email came back and like the server was, you know, too busy or whatever.
So obviously everybody had the same idea
of like okay it's valentine's and you know that's right to juliet well i think
it's probably because we mentioned it on the podcast well no doubt because everybody
(03:59):
like you know does everything that you tell them to do so including me.
Well anyways it did not get through but i'm
not giving up i am going to rescind it
i thought i'd give it like a little bit of time to you know die down a little
bit if it does i mean you know i don't know they could be riding on these like
(04:24):
all year long that's right it could be like the you know what am i thinking
of around the holidays they do that christmas carol thing,
Like, you mean like writing to Santa Claus? No, no, no, the Christmas Carol
thing where you call, what is it, Dial-A-Carol or whatever it is?
(04:45):
Carol, yes, I'm so grateful to do that.
So, yay, thumbs up to Dial-A-Carol.
Well, I don't know, but if I ever do get a response back or get my email through,
you know, I am going to update on that. Because I'm very curious,
you know, like to see what Juliet's going to tell me.
(05:07):
Well, I mean, as I understood it, and maybe I'm wrong, and I probably am because
I don't know anything about it other than what I read in a brief snippet of an article.
I would assume that it's men who write to Juliet, no? Oh, my God.
I mean, I don't know. I mean, it could be.
(05:30):
Well i mean she's clearly taken
by romeo of all he's dead technically but
so is she you know i feel like really if
you think about it that is one of the sickest like love stories if you want
to yeah yeah well i mean you know it is a classic so yes it is a classic that
(05:50):
i taught for many years but i still always felt like no i don't want that That love, exactly. Yeah.
You know, like, that's not the happy ending. But, well, I mean, it's an ending.
But, I mean, I did not know that part.
See, you should have led with that before I, like, did mine.
(06:11):
I mean, just thinking about it, it would make sense that it's men who are writing.
But, I mean, I suppose women could do, you know, maybe ask for advice or whatever.
Well, then I'm going to change my name. I'll be like, I'm Matt.
Okay i used to be cats right yeah,
(06:33):
Yeah, well, I don't know. I
mean, so there needs to be a Dear Romeo club out there for me to ride to.
There you go. You could start that one.
Yeah, right here in Parkerville, Kentucky. There you go.
If you want love, I think this is the place to get your wish. Yeah.
(06:56):
Well, okay. So, you know how you were doing statistics and questions?
Yeah i have a couple more okay well i have one so all right go ahead should
i start with it yes of course okay so you know valentine's has come and gone
and how many like what percentage of people,
(07:20):
bought themselves a Valentine's gift? Hmm.
I'm going to guess I mean,
45%. So why do you think that? Because that's pretty high. It's almost half.
Why do you think that it might be? I think that people figure I buy something
(07:45):
for someone else. Might as well buy something for me.
Okay. Well, all right. So, did you buy yourself a gift for Valentine's Day?
Not that I remember. I was probably working and, you know, my life during the
week when Valentine's was on Wednesday, I think.
(08:05):
Yeah. So, my life during the week is work, home, sleep, repeat.
Well, I did not buy myself a gift either. So, like, based on that statistic, it would be like 0%.
Right. but it's gonna
be it's gonna shock you because it's a low number it's
like eight percent wow yeah only
(08:30):
eight percent people and maybe it's for the reasons like
you said you know middle of the week and whatever or maybe
you know most people maybe just had
somebody buying them all this stuff and they didn't like
either that or the people are single and they're just like
i'm gonna buy buy myself something but not all single people
feel that way they're just like valentine's day
(08:52):
i'm single this sucks i'm not buying myself anything
well some people are like i'm
single i'm happy about it and still not
buying myself anything that's true maybe that's
why the number is so low yeah i mean who knows
but i i thought you would find that interesting and
that's the the only thing i have on that all righty well
(09:13):
i only have a couple so it's kind
of interesting during the victorian era
era and into the 20th century
those who didn't want the attention of certain people
would anonymously send vinegar valentines i don't know what that is but i think
(09:35):
I think it's not so much the act of sending vinegar or Valentine's dipped in
vinegar or something like that.
They were actually cards that you could buy that they were sort of,
you know, like, I don't want to be your Valentine because you stink or something like that.
(09:56):
They're a little bit cruel and they could be purchased to insult just about anyone in your life.
Oh my god so hallmark truly does make a card for every occasion,
apparently i mean.
I don't even know what to say about that. I mean, that's kind of, well, okay.
(10:20):
So, I mean, the closest thing, you know, is, like, when they used to sell,
I don't know if they still do.
Because, you know, obviously, it's been a gazillion years since I was in school
to buy Valentine's. But, you
know, that you would get the box of whatever theme that you picked out.
And there would be the ugly ones, you know. know
(10:41):
and like every and then there
was like the big ones you know the big nice ones
too and so everybody would know
like whoever got the big nice ones you know
was the popular and and you
know if you got the other ones especially like if
you've got it from someone you really liked and they
(11:03):
give you the bad valentine you know
so it could be hard like crush your heart and
wait for a day or so yeah so it's
probably like something like the vinegar it's like preparing you to get some
vinegar right yeah all right well so those vinegar valentines weren't the only
(11:24):
strange tradition from england from england Okay, what else you got here?
From England. So, in the 1700s, English women would pin five bay leaves to their pillow.
One in the center and four on the corners.
(11:47):
On the night of February 13th in order to have sweet dreams about their future husband.
So, if you have some bay leaf, you know, you could try that next year.
Oh it has to be on the 13th yeah yeah well you know i mean i i could i could
(12:07):
like say oh yeah i might try that you know i mean i don't think that likes hurting
anybody you know yeah unless you're allergic to bay leaf or something i guess.
Well, or you don't have any dream, you know, that you can remember.
And then it'll be like, that could, you know, that means like there's nobody
for you. Right. Right. Right. Yeah.
(12:30):
So, I mean, yeah, in a way that kind of sucks. So I'm thinking now, well, let's not do that.
And besides that, I mean, it's probably not going to tell you anyways,
because you probably Probably already are dreaming of whoever is,
you know, whoever's in your subconscious that you think it's for you,
(12:52):
whether they really are or not.
I don't really think you even need the bay leaves to do that.
Well, just, you know, 1700s, they were, I guess, trying everything they could.
Well, as one should. Right. Everything they can for love. So,
(13:12):
that's, you know, I'll agree with that part of it.
I think they could try a little bit more than the Bay leaves.
Alrighty. Well, one more for the road, shall we say. Right.
So, did you know that those little candy hearts were not available for Valentine's Day in 2019?
(13:36):
Because of COVID? No. No, it was because the company that in 2018,
the company that made the little candy hearts, Necco, you remember Necco wafers? Yes. Yeah.
So they made all the candy hearts up to that point.
But in 2018, they declared bankruptcy and they were forced to close the original
(14:02):
plant and sell off the candy brands that they made.
They made a bunch of different ones apparently so this other
company ended up acquiring the rights to the
candy hearts and it
must be like brocks or nesco or no it's called spangler i never heard wrong
(14:27):
but it took them a bit a bit to get a production up and running so yeah 2019
you know didn't work out. So.
Well, that got right past me. I did not know, you know, that they weren't out here.
Yeah, it says they returned to shelves in 2020.
(14:49):
And apparently there were some changes due to equipment problems.
But then by 2021, they'd worked out all the issues.
And now I'm glad you brought those up because, you know, we did just closed out Cupid 2.0.
And uh you know it was a valentine's
(15:11):
obviously cupid you know love
in the air kind of show and the
audience was given a box of those
little hearts so they were very hard
to find you know because like when
you wait right to the last minute to get them everybody's
(15:33):
trying to get them for valentine's for classes you
know at school and all of that so anyways the
people that came to the show were lucky enough
to have that little box of hearts and
you know did you like read them you
used to read them before you ate them i sure i
(15:53):
guess my favorite color what was your
favorite color i had a favorite i don't
think i ever remember having a favorite color
of of them i like the purple ones just
because of the way they looked or did they taste different i
think they all taste the same like yeah they're
(16:13):
not even like to me not that good no but the purple with the pink writing it
just looked nice and i i just always like really like the purple more than the
pink and never did like the green and you know i don't I don't even know if
there's, there's must be yellow, I think.
I don't remember all the colors, but I remember I liked the purple.
(16:38):
Okay. Well, I don't know what purple signifies, but. Prince,
obviously. Yes, of course.
Like what else? Oh, well, Barney the dinosaur, you know, there've been some. Right. Yeah.
Iconic purple things like purple rain.
(16:59):
But, yeah, I don't know. I don't know why I like that. The color purple, you know, movie.
So I guess it was just like all those factors in my mind said, like the purple one.
And so I did. All righty. Well, what would you say is the most popular restaurant on Valentine's Day?
(17:21):
Well, you know, I hope it is not McDonald's. You know, I shouldn't say that.
I mean, if you want to go to McDonald's, wherever you want to go for love,
your love dinner, that is good.
But, you know, it seems to me like I remember reading Once Upon a Time,
something about it being like White Castle or Crystal, like someplace like that.
(17:42):
Really? Yeah. Huh.
You are very wrong.
Well you know it could have it could have
been like another i've almost thought
it was valentine's day though and i thought well that's really strange
like i mean i guess you could get like a whole lot
of food for i don't even know how much one
(18:04):
costs now but all right so if i'm
really thinking like where do people like this
would be a sit down kind of restaurant you i
mean i would would think people generally would
like you know i mean i
hope it's not cracker barrel too so what type of cuisine do you think would
(18:25):
be the most popular well you know i hope it's not chinese or something like
i mean i think seafood probably is like places that have steak and And seafood,
you know, like surf and turf kind of thing.
No, no. The most popular is actually. Italian. Huh?
(18:48):
Italian. I want to change my answer. Yeah, okay.
All right. So, Italian is the most popular. What's number two?
Okay. Okay. Number two then would have to be, well, can I go back to surf and turf? Nope. Nope.
(19:09):
Okay, that's the kid.
Good guess, but no, it's actually French. Well, that's, you know, that's good, too.
Yeah. So there you have it. There's my Valentine's Day facts.
Well, and, you know, I want to check in on that White Castle crystals thing,
(19:34):
because, you know, it is a popular place to go on some holiday,
day and it doesn't quite make sense it would be valentine's but you know in
my mind somewhere it seems like i you know remember that or something well let's
hope we don't find out that it's like the truck stop or something pilot flying jay.
(20:01):
But as we said it does not matter where you go right Right, right, yeah.
Long is the slow. We learned that from Bon Jovi, you know, because Johnny used
to work on the dock. That's right.
He did. Then that damn union went on strike.
(20:23):
But they held on to what they had. Right, yeah.
Because they got each other, and that's a lot. Right, right, yeah. Yeah.
All right. We don't need to know until we get to hear Bobby and Tess's story.
All right. Well, let's talk to them and see what they got.
(20:44):
All right. Here we go. Well, Bobby and Tess, I want to welcome you back to Backstory
Sessions. It's really so exciting to get to talk to you both again.
Oh, my gosh. Thanks for having us. It's always fun being on here.
Yeah it's been a whole god it's probably been a couple
of years almost now it has and
(21:06):
i think we met bobby first and then
tess this is the first time of
having you both together and of course we
know there's a reason for that because you're both now
on our february back stories
of love we call this month
you know back stories
(21:28):
of love i love it yeah me too
and so tech i think it's
interesting when we had you on last you had
the song the wrong one had yeah it
had come out and you'd written that and you know we
talked a lot about that so i'm guessing that bobby is probably not who that
(21:51):
song was let's hope that song wasn't about bobby that'd be all yeah i would
hope especially since especially since i wrote on the song he was a co-writer on it that's true.
Oh that made for a short episode,
(22:11):
I know. Wow. We thought we thought this was going to go another way.
Okay. So no, we both, we, that's the song, you know, we co-wrote that her grandmother
started and we finished it with, with Billy Law.
So no, that definitely wasn't what that was about.
(22:32):
Hey, let's, who knows what it's really about. I mean, our grandmother had the ideas.
Well, that is true. Very pretty song, too. Thank you. Thank you.
Wait until you hear some of the new music. It's really, they have some great stuff.
Well, tell us about that. You know, catch us up a little bit on the writing
(22:54):
and what you've been doing project-wise before we get into the love.
Yeah, sure. Absolutely. So, still working on this recording project. checked.
And actually, we just got back last night from Muscle Shoals,
where I'm recording this album at Wishbone Studios and just so much amazing,
(23:14):
rich music history down there.
And I'm just so excited about this album.
It's kind of just like my dream album project where I get to just pick all the things I want.
I don't have a label telling me what to do or or any creative direction.
I can just really do what I want, pick the songs I want.
(23:34):
So most of them will be originals, like The Wrong One, which was already released,
a single off of the album.
But there will be a couple from my family that I'm recutting,
but I'll leave that to be a surprise.
But I'm so excited about it.
I'm going to put this going to be out.
What now? When will this be released? Oh, later this year. It's a 2020 release. So, yeah. Correct.
(24:01):
Yeah. Headed back next weekend to record some more about halfway done.
It's really something to see Tess work in the studio because she really,
she knows what she wants, knows what she likes.
And the bar is high. The bar is set high, but she always gets it.
That is a wonderful way of saying that i,
(24:26):
you know it might be a little hard to please
in the studio but you know i'm working with billy lawson he's producing
this and it's such a great fit because he does everything so
tastefully and you know i've mentioned before
about just how i i'm really
not into the overproduction that you find
a lot of in Nashville where there's literally everything
(24:48):
thrown at the song to where you it just drowns
out the singer and it's just overproduced and I
that's not my style and he's right I know
what I like and what I want and so it's just a really great fit
to be working that was a compliment yeah I
really was because I unfortunately I've
(25:08):
had to work with so many many people who don't know who they
are musically they are so just all
over the map and that's the one thing about Tess she really knows who she is
as an artist and that's always a joy you know when you could work with someone
like that in the studio I mean I've worked with people one week they're very
(25:28):
traditional country the next week they're doing a pop thing then they're doing
this this rap country thing.
So anyway, it's a lot of fun, I'm trying to say.
Well, so outside of the music realm, Bobby, do you find Tess to be the same
way, knowing what she wants?
(25:51):
Yeah. I mean, absolutely. I mean, yeah. I mean, usually it's not hard to figure it out.
I mean, she, she yeah she's a
you know what with all jokes aside i mean we can be i
could totally get really humorous with that question but
in all reality she just is a strong
woman who just happens to
(26:14):
be so talented in so many areas and at
the same time she's very strong but at the same time
very loving very giving to people has one
of the most beautiful hearts i've ever seen and and
definitely one of the most talented I mean god she can do these
amazing pieces of art that she paints she can write songs she can sing she can
(26:35):
I mean I don't know that there's a whole lot she can't do I mean I couldn't
even draw I can barely write my name so well thank you that's very sweet so Tess what is Bobby like?
I was going to say, wow, that's a long picture.
That's one way for this to get the podcast to get started. He's already scored all the points.
(27:02):
But, you know, Bobby is also, I could say all the same things about him and
it sounds so cliche, but that really is what made me fall for him.
And, you know, when I met him, there was already several people that I was close
with in my life that would praise him for years.
You know, I mean, just he's so thoughtful, very thoughtful.
(27:24):
I mean, this man, the trip that he planned for us to go on after Christmas,
just this surprise after Christmas trip was the cutest, sweetest,
most thoughtful planned out thing.
And you know and he's just generous of course
and and very talented very very
talented and i love that it's never it's like never a competition
(27:44):
because we get that you know curiosity
that question sometimes when you're with another person who's
also highly creative or maybe does some
of the same things it's never like competitive
there's no jealousy like i'm his of biggest fan he's my biggest fan we're like
cheering each other on because if you're in any kind of creative business it
(28:07):
is a roller coaster like one day you think oh my gosh like i'm kind of nailing
it here like i'm doing great and then the next day you're like oh my gosh i'm the worst.
And it can be a roller coaster so it's really great to have a cheerleader in
each other well you've said all of that i mean that's all correct and i mean
(28:28):
if elvis presley came back tonight and said,
I want to record one of your two songs,
either yours, Bobby, or you, Tess, I'd say record hers.
And I would be so happy. And I really mean that.
And I guess when you love somebody, you know, I guess that's kind of what you do.
But at the same time, you ask her that question, but I'm going to go ahead and
(28:49):
add to it. I'm very complicated.
I'm very, I'm very, I think I'm a really nice guy. I'm a giving guy too.
But at the same time, songwriters, especially songwriters, I mean,
she's a songwriter artist.
I mean, I guess I am too. I do shows, but I'm writing for the market and that
can totally drive you crazy.
And there's days, I mean, I'm up at three o'clock in the morning.
(29:12):
I mean, she's, you know, we'll call the next, you know, talk the next day and
be like, oh, what time did you get up at?
Oh, I'm like, yeah, three o'clock in the morning, I'm up, you know,
trying to come up with an idea for a writing session the next morning, you know, 10 o'clock.
And I mean, that just creates a lot of chaos in the mind.
And it's a wonder any of us has any sanity and so much rejection,
(29:36):
you know, I mean, you'll write so many songs and it's like you just got to be
prepared every day for rejection.
And that can be I've seen a lot of my friends bring that into their relationships,
you know, with their partners.
And it does not work very well. I mean, I'm getting good. I'm growing.
Even at this age, I'm still growing. I'm learning how to cut the switch off
(29:59):
and not bring all of that kind of chaos in when we have time together.
You know, I just maybe that's just a part of getting old. I don't know.
Maybe I'm telling you more than you want.
I want to know everything so so.
If there were a time when one
(30:19):
of your careers was you know hitting rock bottom for whatever reason for you
know more than just like a short period and the other person was finding great
success at that same time how would you deal with that,
I wouldn't have any problem with that. I mean, I mean, I haven't been to that point, I don't guess.
(30:44):
But at the same time, I know me well enough that I mean, I know how this business is.
I have, you know, each week I'm on rock bottom about 75 percent of the way.
Yeah, not really. Not really.
But honestly, even over the course of the few years we've been together,
(31:04):
I mean, even just enduring a pandemic.
Together we've endured the loss of
bobby's mother you know and just
other hardships between loss of shows
when it's a pandemic and other crazy
things my dad having a heart attack you know when you go through all
of that stuff life stuff and career stuff it's just
(31:25):
such a roller coaster and i can honestly say like i would not want to do life
with somebody else because he's so great at like being being just encouraging
when it's like the lows and also
just the first one to be the most excited when there's like a victory.
And so it's just, it's great on both ends. And it's, and like you said,
(31:49):
though, because we're in creative businesses, it's kind of a rollercoaster every week.
I mean, to some extent, it really feels like that.
It feels like you had a rejection and then you had a victory and then you,
you know, so it's, it's just a, it's a crazy business. this?
Honestly, I mean, for me, I'm at a point in life where, you know,
(32:10):
relationships mean more to me than success.
I mean, we need success to keep paying bills and, you know, keep moving forward.
But at the same time, you know, this past four years, it's morbid to say this,
but I actually finally made a list of how many people I've lost since the pandemic.
(32:30):
And it wasn't all due to COVID it by any means it
was just all kinds of situations young people
old people middle age and i've lost you
know almost 40 people and a lot of these people a majority of them were people
i talked to every week and had long friendships with some i wrote songs some
i did shows with and that has been one of the hardest things i've ever dealt
(32:52):
with but at the same time i've grown from it and it's made me realize whether.
Charlie Bozo cuts a song online or not, that's not going to be like, that's not my God.
And he used to, I, that was everything to me that defined if I was at peace or not.
And now I'm like, you know what? Garth Brooks doesn't like one of my songs.
(33:15):
I don't, you know, I don't care. I really don't.
So, yeah. And maybe that's easier said.
Maybe it's easier to say that since I've had been blessed with so much.
Some of my heroes recording my songs. As long as I have a song out right now
that was recorded by Bill Anderson, Vince Gill, Bobby Bear, Jimmy Fortune,
the Statler Brothers, and Willie Nelson.
And then Willie just cut a new song a couple of months ago.
(33:38):
So, you know, that doesn't hurt either.
So, I don't know. You know, life is pretty darn good. I think you've gotten
to this place where you really enjoy and appreciate that.
And you're like, wow, this is such a blessing.
I'm going to enjoy this. like that this just got cut versus
(33:58):
okay already time to worry about the next
thing you know yeah and another and
if a radio you know programmer i mean hey it's great to have songs on the radio
but if some you know that isn't my god either i'm not worried about some consultant
who controls a majority of the radio stations whether he's going to make my
life happy or not you know that's that's It's just not the way to live. It's not.
(34:24):
Yeah. So it sounds like that the relationship has been an added part of like
what makes happiness for you now.
Oh, definitely. Are you kidding? Absolutely.
I mean, it's kind of a calm in the storm.
Of course, you know, with Tess, she was raised in this business.
I mean, I was a disc jockey, as we talked before, when I was 11 years old.
(34:48):
So I was around it to some degree, but she literally was raised,
as you heard in your podcast with her on a tour of her grand.
I mean, it's crazy, it seems.
But, you know, so she's like, I feel like even though it's two very different
stories, in some ways, they're both so crazy.
(35:12):
Crazy some of my stories from my childhood and
growing up the way i did in this family of country
music and the way he has stories of
kellen given you know an interview to johnny cash at 11 years old it's kind
of like we're both this odd shaped nut out of the bag and then we found each
other and we're like oh well it kind of fits it's easy that's true i agree with
(35:36):
that and but tess is is just easy to love.
And I mean, like even in my hometown, it's like everyone's adopted her,
And whether she goes once every six months, whatever.
I mean, people, they stay in touch with her through social media,
and they just all, they're crazy about.
And that's kind of the case anywhere she goes.
(35:56):
Well, how did the nuts get together? Okay.
So, you know, I've been waiting to hear the back story of this. Great question.
You know, what is funny is today when I thought about us doing this podcast,
I realized we have never, I mean, we've done so many.
Interviews and individually and podcasts
(36:16):
interviews radio interviews and never have we done one where we like told our
love story so how cool this is like i know i didn't realize that till today
and it's it's a crazy story well it is crazy because i'm i was a stalk i was a.
(36:38):
No no i'm kidding
no but you know we actually officially met
in 2017 and it was at this annual event that happens but it was the very first
year of it they do this dotty west birthday bash in honor of my grandmother
and they do it here in nashville at a place called third and Lindsley and they
(37:01):
have all kinds of different artists come.
Jamie Johnson, Bill Anderson, all kinds of people have come and they sing in
her memory and they raise money for charity.
So the very first year was 2017.
And we met then, but I don't really remember a whole lot about this meeting. Sorry, Bobby.
I remember it. I mean, there's not much of a story to tell, but definitely I remember it.
(37:29):
And then we were even on stage together, you know, with Bill Anderson and Jamie
Johnson, Jeannie Seedle, Larry Catlin.
At one point, there's pictures of that. Yeah, we were on stage together.
And then your grandmother was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame.
And then the next year, yes, the next year, my grandmother was inducted into
the Country Music Hall of Fame and Bobby was at that.
(37:50):
And by that point, we had been, you know, acquaintances and Facebook friends
and all of that for a year and been at different events, seen each other.
And and he was there that night. And apparently he said he was sitting across
the aisle from me, which I didn't know that either. Maybe you were a little bit of a stalker, Bobby.
Hey, maybe so. But so we didn't officially start dating until well into the pandemic.
(38:17):
But what's really crazy is that Bobby is from a small town in Alabama,
Lutheran, Alabama, South Alabama.
And as he said, when he was a kid, he was actually a DJ.
He literally was a DJ at 11 years old. And so when my mom and my Uncle David,
(38:40):
my mom is Shelly West, and her duet partner was David Frizzell.
And they had a big hit out together called You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma
when she was pregnant with me.
And she traveled the whole country singing that pregnant with me.
She sang it on the Grammys pregnant with me.
And apparently she sang it in what town was it, Bobby?
Troy, Alabama, which is only 20 minutes from my hometown.
(39:03):
Town she's singing in troy alabama pregnant
with me and they were on the show with ronnie milstap and
bobby's dad took him to this
concert and bobby was at it when
my mom was pregnant with me and the very next month she gave birth to me so
so i can say he officially met me way back then and he actually you know what
(39:28):
the craziest thing is when we were dating he said he went back to to his hometown
and he was in his bedroom that he grew up and he said,
you're not going to believe what I found in a drawer,
the concert ticket of your mom and your uncle.
When I went, I was young and she was pregnant with you literally found the concert ticket.
(39:48):
I've got something that totally matches that. I actually announced her birth
on the radio. Is that not crazy?
I mean, that is crazy.
That's definitely out there you can't even make that up that is absolutely crazy.
But then, you know, when the pandemic happened, because see,
(40:10):
Bobby is just, he's one busy guy.
I mean, Curb, he's been with Curb Records for almost 30 years as a writer.
And, you know, just his calendar is full of writing appointments.
And then the pandemic happened. And it's like all of a sudden,
nobody could get together.
Curb shut down. And so he and I started talking and he just was begging me to
(40:36):
get together and do some writing.
And it's just so funny because, you know, I've got all these songwriters in my family.
My grandmother actually was the first female in country music to win a Grammy
for a song that she co-wrote with my granddad.
And so that's super special.
And then, you know, like my Uncle Lefty, who's also in the Country Music Hall
(40:59):
of Fame. I mean, he was a renowned songwriter, wrote several country classics.
One song he wrote, That's the Way Love Goes, actually went number one for both
Johnny Rodriguez and Merle Haggard.
And so for some reason even
though my major in college
was creative writing i've always been too intimidated to write
(41:20):
songs because i just thought i don't know it's just
too much like it's just been too intimidating with all of that family history
and so even her dad even her dad wrote a dickhead for country singer gene watson
gene yeah he had a number one hit that he wrote wrote for Gene Watson.
So a lot of songwriters in the family.
(41:43):
And I just thought, I don't know, I'm not going to touch that.
It just feels intimidating and I'll overthink it. And,
And Bobby was like, no, no, no, you've got to write with me.
I can tell you're a writer.
Just trust me, which is actually very funny to think about, because there's
people just begging to write a song with Bobby.
And I'm like, no, no, no.
(42:03):
Yeah, but she was actually in Messenger.
She could even share an email, and there would be song ideas in it.
I mean, that's how I knew that that was in her.
I could just feel it. Plus, I thought, my gosh, your DNA, how could you not have it?
So yes he pulled a
little trick on me and then you know he was going through something and
(42:24):
i sent him a message and said all this stuff and he comes back and he says listen
to this song you wrote and he took all of this stuff that i said and he put
it in a song and i said okay i said you know what all right i'll get together
and we can we can try to write a song then like you you've You've got me convinced.
(42:45):
And so we did. And we started writing and we were still just friends, you know, at this point.
And we were writing. And I have to admit, like the second I was with him, it was so comfortable.
And we were just writing song after song after song.
And I absolutely fell in love with songwriting first.
And then i started falling in love with bobby and
(43:07):
it was so funny because you know when we first
got together bobby was like you know i just have
to tell you he said well what kind of songs do you want to write and i said
oh gosh you know i mean i'm like i love the saddest saddest country music songs
you know like that's that's the best you know when it's super sad and it just
(43:27):
rips your your heart out. Like, let's, let's write a song like that, you know?
And he said, okay. And he said, well, you know, I just, I, I don't really write love songs.
Like I don't, I've been a co-writer on some and it's their idea,
but I don't, it's just not really my thing.
I don't really do love songs. And I'm like, well, okay. I mean,
I just want to write sad songs anyway.
So we get together and it was so funny because I realized about,
(43:52):
Nine or ten songs in, I thought, wait a second. We have not written a single
sad song. These are all love songs.
Isn't that crazy? Yeah. So then I started, you know, kind of getting the hint.
So, Bobby, was that the, you know, was it the plan to get her together to write? And then, you know.
(44:14):
No. I mean, I can honestly say no. I just thought she had the talent and I had
the time with the pandemic.
My calendar definitely was not even didn't have
any rights on it and i thought well this would be a good time
and you should try it at least and if you don't like it yeah
then you know there you've tried it and man the
(44:35):
lines she would come out with i mean just crazy
you know i and then when somebody gives me great lines that
just inspires me to you know come up
with special melodies and it was it's just you know
she has so many irons
in the fire of course i have a lot of of them too but like
with songwriting she really has no idea how great a
(44:56):
writer she is i mean i know people that have had huge success
and they just don't you know there's just
no comparison i mean she just will come up with some of the freshest lines and
she really knows how to make them better she doesn't settle for less and and
that actually helps me it inspires me because it's easy to get in that song
(45:17):
factory state of mind here where you're going and rushing through through this
song, going to the next one,
you know, and when she does write one,
you know, it's, it's really good. So.
But there's really something to be said for the comfort level that Bobby gives
and other people have said this, other writers,
Janie Seeley had kind of stopped writing for a little while,
(45:39):
even though she's written, had some great cuts early in her career and stuff.
And she got together with Bobby and she was like, oh my gosh, she just
makes you so so comfortable so that really was what it
was at first and he had me
so comfortable that it went for me
feeling so intimidated i didn't even want to attempt
to even write a song period to literally going
(46:01):
in there and here's bobby who's been with curb
records for so many years had a huge number one hit had other hits had songs
cut by all the legends and i'm literally telling him no no no that is not good
enough we can come up with something better than that like on appointment one i was like no.
(46:24):
Do you know what else though blew me away is that
i remember we just for fun took a little break and started singing like every
time two fools collide a song made famous by her grandmother kenny rogers or
maybe a little bit of oklahoma you're the reason god made oklahoma and i never
have been one to sing with other people, male or female.
(46:46):
My voice just doesn't seem to blend, or at least with the people I had worked with,
I have this more low register going on for one thing.
And for some reason, she has this richness in her voice, not too high pitched.
And it just totally, I mean, right off the bat, there was a blend there that I couldn't believe.
(47:08):
And, you know, one of the first songs we wrote, we literally sing it together,
every line. And she's going to be recording that song.
And it's a love song called Lay Down and Love Me. And and, you know,
it didn't it didn't take long to start having feelings for sure,
because, you know, those are real.
Yeah. Just like you said, like we we knew that each other saying we had kind
(47:31):
of been some of the same things, but neither one of us had ever just really thought much about it.
And then as we're writing, he said, well, let's kind of break away and just
sing something, you know, together and then we'll come back.
And all of a sudden it's just like we started singing and both of us were like, whoa, that's crazy.
(47:51):
I mean, we just had chills. We just didn't, neither one of us planned it.
And, you know, over the years, I've had some people that I'll sing with if,
If I'm being asked to do You're the Reason God Made Oklahoma,
there will always be some sort of guy, some cowboy, some bass player,
something that joins me on the song.
And it's never usually good, to be honest.
(48:14):
And all of a sudden, we are just singing and we are like, whoa, this is crazy.
Like, it's just some sort of crazy chemistry going on with our voices.
And that's kind of what started it.
And I love it. I love to hear it, you know, played back. And I don't really,
you know, I'm not going to be sitting around listening to anything I do.
(48:35):
I'm off listening to other people, whether it's Barbra Streisand,
Nat King Cole, or Merle Haggard, or Hank Williams.
And I love listening to us. I mean, it's funny, in the studio this past weekend
was the very first time we ever recorded together.
And I'm not going to spill the beans and tell you what song,
because that can be a surprise later when the record's released.
(48:55):
Least but it was i was anxious to see what
we sound like sounded like in the studio
because i know live it's really magical and
then you know the producer called me this morning and he says man this is so
good and and i'm i'm really excited about it but you know throw all that out
the window i mean at the end of the day she just has a beautiful heart and easy
(49:19):
to love and and just It's beautiful in every way, inside and out.
And that all sounds cliche, but it's very true.
And, you know, you hear this said often, you feel like you've known someone your whole life.
And it's just that easy for the most part.
(49:39):
So what was the moment when you both knew, like, this is going to be fun?
Yeah, that's a good question. That is a good question.
I think for me, a few, several songwriting appointments in, I just started feeling
(50:05):
like all of these love songs.
I just was sitting there like, is he writing this about me?
It was too close to home. I don't think it could have been about anybody else.
And I just thought, you know, I just, he was also at that time going through
some things with his mother being in poor health.
(50:26):
And I just, he was so, so just concerned for his mom with all of this.
And my heart would just hurt if I thought he was hurting.
And I thought, oh gosh, I must be falling.
You know what I would do? I would, I'm just really being honest.
And I'm pretty open, but there's also a part of me that's very closed,
(50:49):
but I'll tell you something I did.
I would like Google things like,
Is she into you? Oh my goodness, the cutest.
Is that not the cutest thing ever? I can't believe I'm actually saying that.
But I did that. I know. And I think it's adorable. Like that a grown man.
(51:10):
Really? I'm leaving this writing appointment and he's getting on Google.
Like, how could you tell if she likes me?
Yeah. And then I would do it over and over again. Just trying to find anything.
Oh my gosh. I mean, isn't that crazy? I mean, looking back at that,
it's just wild how it works, you know. So was there a first date?
(51:33):
I mean, did you guys, you know, officially?
Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah.
I mean, it was after a lot of writing. It was like after a lot of writing.
Yeah. You know, we never looked at his dates by any means. Right.
Yeah. Those were the dates. Especially not in the beginning.
(51:55):
Yeah. No, no. But when we did have a first date, he, I said,
well, he was asking me what I would want to do.
And I said, well, just surprise me.
And I'm thinking like, you know, I meant surprise, like pick the restaurant.
That's all I meant, you know? And so, so we get in the car and we're just talking.
(52:16):
We've always just had, we just talk and talk and talk.
I mean, he and I travel to do shows. We have done shows all the way out Hollywood,
California, all the way to Gulf Shores.
You know, we've been to New York City together. So we do a lot of traveling
and we literally never run out of things to say.
So there's always a lot of great conversation, which is wonderful.
But so we're just talking and talking and all of a sudden I'm like,
(52:41):
gosh, we've been talking. I haven't even paid attention, but I think we've been driving for a while.
And like, where is he taking me? And I look on the road. I look on the road
and I'm like, well, how strange.
I feel like all of these license plates say Alabama.
And, you know, surely we're not like out of Tennessee.
(53:02):
And then I'm like, wait a second, is he kidnapping me?
But he had literally for our
first date he drove all the way to muscle shoals and
then drove me around and told me about a lot of the history and you know told
me about some of his memories there took me to a little romantic italian restaurant
(53:23):
and so it was a great first date awesome all right cat yeah yeah because i had
lived there in muscle shoals before moving moving to Nashville,
that's where I started really learning about the craft of songwriting because
it's definitely one of those second homes to me still.
And it's a very comfortable place to be in. And I just thought,
well, that's a great, you know, first date place and has a beautiful little
(53:48):
downtown, you know, and a nice little Italian restaurant.
And then we drove down to, I remember one of the studios and then one of the
songs that her grandmother recorded, you know, came on. And yeah,
it was just on the radio and we're sitting there.
Yeah, it was crazy. It's perfect. It really was.
So it's been a couple of years, I guess now, right?
(54:11):
Pandemic was when this started and, you know, things are going good. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's crazy. It's been some of the most turbulent times ever,
but also some of the most beautiful times.
I mean, when I say turbulent, not with her, but I'm just saying all the life stuff.
I mean, and, you know, that seems to be this case with the most everyone,
(54:32):
but, you know, I mean, it sure is a plus to have someone, you know,
during a lot of those storms. I mean, she's been through them too. Not just me.
I mean, it's been really special getting to be strong. For sure.
I think when you go through a lot of storms, outside storms in a relationship,
(54:52):
you're probably either going to break up or you're just going to grow way stronger.
And we have, it's like, I don't know how we have been through the amount of things that we have.
In a short time, really. I know, and three and a half or so years,
just the amount of, you know, some of it that everyone's gone through,
like a pandemic, and just how that trickled down and affects so much of life.
(55:16):
And then, you know, loss of family members or friends, or like he was talking
about all the losses. I mean, he was constantly singing at a funeral.
I feel like every weekend he sang at a funeral there for a year.
Which you know I actually counted that too again sounding morbid but it's been
it's been over 15 that I either had to be a pallbearer at or either sing at
(55:37):
in the last it's just crazy I mean I.
You know, but what it's done, I mean, he's just grown so much and it's definitely
made us closer because you just, when you go through all of that together,
you really figure out, you know, this person loves me.
If I have a dollar in my bank account or $200,000 in my bank account, they love me.
(56:02):
If I quit songwriting, cause I've had it this week and I just want to say that I'm going to quit.
And it's like, okay, if you quit, I'm still here. So love you.
It's fine. You know, like, I love you for your heart.
Or if you have a number one on the radio, like you really find out,
you know, when you're going through all of that, what kind of love you're dealing with.
(56:22):
And you know what? The reality is you're saying that it makes me think we're all the same.
So often so many people that aren't in the entertainment business,
they think that people in this business are totally so different from them.
But the truth is, we're all the same. We all hurt.
We all have problems, whether it's financial or whatever.
(56:44):
I mean, you know, or losing people.
And that's, you know, what is this almost comical to me, how some people just
think it's so different for people in this business.
If anything, it may be more chaotic and more heartbreak.
I know people you just it's sad. I shouldn't even say this, but I have seen
(57:04):
some of the most sad cases, people that have hit the highest highs and they're so miserable.
And some of them are still, you know, riding high in this business,
but they're not happy people. And how sad is that?
Yeah. I'll say, you know what, my whole point of saying that is it all comes
down to love. I think that is so much the key.
(57:27):
And, you know, if someone is listening and they don't have that love in their
life still, just having love, whether it is a family member or friend.
But the icing on the cake is when you do find love.
One that you can really share that with but at the end of the day it's it's
my dear friend who passed away andrew dorff he always would say it's all about
(57:48):
the love that is true all right cat are you there i am and are you asleep cat i mean.
Because i you know i i'm a kindred spirit
about all of this i feel that very very same
way about love being the most important
thing is but the first time
(58:10):
that i suspected that you all might be a couple
you know i was reading about going to a
wrong wedding and so that makes
me laugh out loud just hearing you say that i
mean that was one of the craziest things oh my gosh
we get we get into the craziest adventures
(58:33):
i don't even know so that was a
crazy one my my cousin was getting married and
i had told him all week i said you know i am so concerned that somehow i'm getting
because i'm kind of chronically late so i was like i am so worried that somehow
i'm gonna mess this up like we have got to be on time you know and all week
(58:56):
i I was just very kind of obsessed with it.
And so the day comes and I'm like, okay, I think we've got it.
But we had to drive to a hotel and then this bus was going to shuttle us out
because it was at this gigantic, like a dam, this beautiful scenery.
But you had to actually take the shuttle bus to it.
(59:19):
And so first off, we drive to the hotel and I'm like, okay, I think we've made it.
And then I'm worried that my uncle, I'm on the phone the whole time with my
uncle. And I'm like, well, where are you? Where are you, Dale?
And I said, oh gosh, you're trying to drive there and not take the bus.
Oh my gosh, you're not going to make it. Like, this is terrible.
And I'm so worried that he's not going to make it. The whole time I'm telling
(59:42):
Bobby, like, Dale is never going to make it. I don't even know where he is.
And so I'm so concerned about that. and then we show up to the hotel and i'm
like okay we made it just in time but the black shuttle bus is starting to pull
off and i said oh my gosh bobby chase down the bus.
We you know he chases it down because the first
(01:00:03):
hotel we went to was the wrong hotel that was the same name
so by the time we get to the right one it's the bus is
leaving so he chases down the bus we get on the bus and i'm like okay now i
can relax like everyone's dressed up for the wedding people have their wedding
present remember what i said though i said oh these people recently stuck up
people i know and i was like well that is just judgmental bobby,
(01:00:30):
i was like i mean it must be his family
because my cousin was the bride and i was like i don't know i
mean it must be his family but you know i'm not gonna think
like that like that's terrible and so we're sitting
there and i'm like i'm just so relieved that we caught the bus
you know obviously my uncle he's gonna miss the
whole thing poor dale he must you know but we have made it i can breathe a sigh
(01:00:52):
of relief here and so we're driving and bobby's like oh there's where george
jones there blah blah typical bobby
you know it's like the history of all everything and then we get there,
And we get out and it's beautiful. And actually, we like visited with some people.
We didn't know them, but we just visited. We took pictures.
(01:01:15):
We left the presents. And I said, oh, gosh, you know, the wedding is about to
start. I think I'm going to give my Uncle Dale one more.
And Dale is actually the youngest sibling of my grandmother, Dottie West.
And it's my cousin, May, who is getting married. And so actually the gift,
(01:01:36):
one of the wedding presents was a photo of my grandmother holding me and May.
So it was very like custom gift. And then, you know, some other stuff from Bed,
Bath and Beyond or whatever.
But one thing is like really custom. So we left the present and I said,
I'm just going to give Dale one last call, you know, before we go in and tell
him that, like, he's missed it, but we'll go ahead and go in and he can make it to the reception.
(01:02:01):
So I call him and he's like, well, I'm almost there or whatever.
And I said, well, Dale, I'm sorry, but, you know, it's about to start.
So we're going to go in and get a seat. But, you know, we'll see you at the reception.
And so we go in and again
we visited with people and we go
in and sit down and then you know it's
(01:02:22):
like i started noticing things i thought well that's weird she talked about
like a waterfall and a dam and i said there's like just a little pond down there
i mean not but you know whatever after maybe she just exaggerated a little it's
fine and then that's the way she described,
the venue i mean it's a little small i mean not judging it's really pretty but
(01:02:46):
it's not like she talked about and then bobby said you know the preacher said
okay everyone turn your phones off we're getting started and people start walking
down the aisle of the wedding party and bobby says,
i think we're at the wrong wedding and i literally thought
he was joking i was like that is not even fun like
i've been worried all week about this and here we are the only one representing
(01:03:10):
the west side of the family because i don't see any of them here and luckily
we made it and he said no no really he said ask the person next to you who's
getting married and i'm like are you kidding me and i asked her and she's like
jimmy and kelly and i'm like oh.
And she bobby gets up and runs.
(01:03:35):
Which why in the world did you have to have such a dramatic exit because i'm
like oh my gosh people are gonna think who knows what about us,
that is,
And I'm like, oh, my gosh, where even are we? We don't even know where we are.
Like this bus took us way out in the middle of nowhere. We were talking.
We don't know where we are.
And I said, oh, Bobby, you have to go take the present back.
(01:04:00):
Like, I can't. I can't do it.
And the present was her grandmother and what? Your cousin?
Yeah. That'd be so weird to open. So I was like, no, you have to go.
You have to go take it back. so he like you
know head between his legs goes in you
know like so embarrassed like well you know i'm gonna need that present back
(01:04:22):
the wedding coordinator that we're at the wrong wedding and she's like busy
trying to run this wedding and so she's just kind of like okay get the present
and go and so we're just standing in this parking lot and we're like we don't
even have a a clue where we are in the state.
(01:04:43):
Luckily, this guy on a golf cart just happens to hear us talking and he just laughed his head off.
He's like, I have worked this property for wedding venues all these years.
I've never seen anyone do this.
You're like out in Leapers Fork or some crazy far out place and he was like,
I'll just drive you because we were trying to call an Uber.
We couldn't even get signal. We're like, where are we?
(01:05:06):
So sure enough, this guy felt sorry
for us and he was like get in my truck i'm gonna drive you 40 minutes to
the right place and you know we get out of that truck to the right wedding and
there's my family just looking at me like yep that's about like that oh man
yeah that's like a movie or something yeah so fun.
(01:05:31):
Well, it sounds like it's love to me. So it's been so fun to hear the backstory.
I had no idea, but I knew it would be a beautiful story. And it certainly is.
And I think it just has the characteristics of both of you from our interviews
from before there's the humor and history and the writing and just how it all comes together.
(01:05:57):
And, and I had no doubt that you were both very thoughtful.
You know, very kind people. So I'm just so happy that you did find each other in the way that you did.
Well, thank you so much. They always say when, when you're not looking,
you know, that's when it happens.
And I want to apologize to you because I haven't heard, well,
(01:06:19):
either I have to apologize to both of you.
I haven't hardly heard any words from you because
when you get both of of us together oh we're talking
i know we probably let them ask any questions it's
fine really appreciate your support and everything and yeah really love the
first podcast that we did and it is very cool that this is the first time we've
(01:06:41):
done one together that it's with you oh absolutely as soon as you told me about
this i was like oh we are in i loved doing the first one plus because I love a love story.
And, you know, you know, it's great when you both really feel like you're the lucky one.
Like all the time he does things for me or he'll do.
Thoughtful he'll do something romantic or just you
(01:07:04):
know like the perfect way i would want to be loved i'm like oh my gosh i'm so
lucky and then he's like oh no i'm so lucky you know what i'm really i'll feel
lucky i'm thankful that you just said all of that and some of the other things
you've said because i'm going to keep this podcast and you're upset with me and i'm going to play.
(01:07:25):
That's really funny though i will say about
two people who are like songwriters at
heart and they're in love is if you are
and you know everybody has a disagreement i i get a
little moody when there's a sound check i'll admit i don't like
sound check so i might pick a fight during a sound check and then
i'm back to nice and good we're all good but you
(01:07:46):
know if you've been in a relationship long enough you're gonna have a disagreement you're
gonna have an argument whatever and it's so funny because if
we're ever having one i'm like oh shoot that's
a really good line oh that's a title right there and
i'm like you can't stop yourself you
can't stop yourself from thinking that way well thank you thank you so much
(01:08:10):
guys for being on the podcast we really really appreciate you taking time to
talk with us and uh of course we want you to come back and talk to us anytime,
well you definitely want to talk to you want to talk to Jess when she gets this
project done because yes,
there's going to be some more great backstories no there's some really fun backstories
(01:08:33):
yeah for sure but really do appreciate appreciate both of you and thank you yes.
Music.
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