159 Help Your Supervisees When Their Clients Disappear

What happens when clients don’t come back after the first or second session?

For supervisors, this pattern is more than a numbers problem. It’s a mirror. High early drop-off often reflects gaps in a supervisee’s session structure, boundaries, or clinical stance that can (and should) be coached, not shamed. When supervision reframes “ghosting” as actionable data, associates gain clarity, confidence, and practical tools to keep clients engaged.

The first trap is interrogation disguised as concern. Firing off questions (“What did you do? Why didn’t they rebook?”) breeds defensiveness and shuts down learning. A better path starts person-centered: slow the pace, reflect on what you’re noticing, and observe the process through short role-plays. That’s where parallel process and isomorphism surface, manifesting in over-seriousness that constricts warmth, humor that avoids depth, or family-of-origin patterns that make hard moments feel unsafe. Name the pattern, then coach the skill.

Sometimes the fix isn’t deep. Rather, it’s logistical. Clock placement, session endings, and professional presence matter more than new clinicians realize. Starting late, eating during sessions, or letting intakes feel like interrogations can push conscientious clients to quietly disengage. Supervisors can normalize structure as care: clear openings, visible time cues, and intentional closures that protect the client’s hour.

Evaluation turns insight into growth. Anchoring remediation in concrete assessments (e.g., SPAI for Level 1 skills, CCSR for Level 2) keeps plans specific and fair. Define target behaviors, practice them on camera or in role-play, and document small wins at each supervision. When supervisors coach like future colleagues (not bosses), associates learn to convert first sessions into second, third, and a full course of meaningful work.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to replace rapid-fire questioning with person-centered supervision that reduces defensiveness.
• Where parallel process and isomorphism show up in early sessions—and how to coach around them.
• Simple environment and structure fixes (clock, openings/closures, intake framing) that improve retention.
• How to use SPAI/CCSR-anchored remediation so growth plans are objective, specific, and doable.

Ready to turn ghosting into growth? Subscribe for more practical playbooks on supervision, ethics, and building robust clinical systems that help clients stay and clinicians thrive.

If you’re ready to lead with confidence, join the 2026 Supervisor Course waitlist for early access to bonus tools, templates, and fast-track grading. Strengthen your systems today with the free Supervision Onboarding Checklist, and get ongoing CEUs and live coaching inside the Step It Up Membership. You’re not just building a practice, you’re building a legacy.

Get your step by step guide to private practice. Because you are too important to lose to not knowing the rules, going broke, burning out, and giving up. #counselorsdontquit.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
You may think, oh, this is great.

(00:01):
My client and I have such greatrapport.
Well, that client may bethinking, gosh, you know, I I
was kind of hoping this time wasjust for me, but they're too
nice to say anything.
And so what do nice people dowhen they don't want to confront
you?
Oh, they ghost you.

SPEAKER_01 (00:25):
Welcome to the MS Therapist, building practices
online.
When it's all about workingsmart, not hard.
And if you're a host, Dr.

SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
Kleast or part of a conference is ever thought about
supervising, but worried youwouldn't know what to say when
things get tough, like when asupervisee's client just doesn't
come back.
In this episode, we'll talkthrough how to handle that
moment, what to say, what not tosay, and how to turn it into a

(00:57):
powerful learning opportunity.
And if you're interested instarting to explore what
supervision could look like foryou in 2026, join the Early Bird
wait list for my brand newsupervisor courses at
KateWalkerTraining.com slashearlybird.
Now let's get to work.

(01:22):
Welcome to your Tuesdaycoaching.
Today I'm going to take youthrough the questions to ask
your associates when theirclients don't come back.
And when I talk about clientsnot coming back, I'm not going
to teach you today about how toclose a practice or how to, you
know, deal with clients incritical incidents, you know,

(01:43):
when things happen, somethingdevastating happens to the
client.
I'm talking about situationswhere you have a supervisee and
you notice they just keep havingthese one sessions with people
or one in twos or one, twos andthrees, and that's it.
And let me preface that bysaying I'm very solution

(02:05):
focused.
And I advocate for that.
If you have been in any of mysessions or in any of my
workshops about a cash-basedpractice, I'm going to teach you
about how to do asolution-focused practice.
It's very, very specific forfolks who want to be cash-based

(02:26):
who aren't able to, you know,contact the insurance company
and just get 20 sessionsapproved and have that.
It's almost a luxury to feellike, oh my gosh, thank goodness
I've got these 20 sessionsapproved.
I can sort of settle back and wecan dig into some things.
With a cash-based practice,having that solution-focused

(02:47):
mindset informed by a theory,that will affect your marketing,
that will affect how you packageyour sessions, how you do
everything.
So that's that's my foundation.
So when I come to you and I wantto talk about, you know,
questions to ask a supervisee,I'm speaking to you as a
supervisor.

(03:07):
Because, you know, obviously myfirst impulse would be like, oh
my gosh, you're magnificent.
You have created a climate withyour clients that is so
therapeutically wonderful thatthey're cured and they don't
come back good on you.
But that's not what we'retalking about today.
What we're talking about todayis how to intervene with a

(03:28):
supervisee when they don't havea skill set that would lend
itself to really, really being,you know, that super helpful,
miracle-working, home runhitting counselor who gets them
all well and better in in onlyone or two sessions.
Don't even know if that exists.
So anyway, that's my foundation,and I'm sticking to it.

(03:51):
So, number one, understand thatasking lots of questions breeds
defensiveness.
And if you have ever done couplecounseling, you know this,
right?
If you have couples and onepartner just asks a lot of
questions and they don'tunderstand why their partner is
defensive all the time, youknow, that's one thing I

(04:13):
learned.
You know, my husband's in themilitary and he went overseas.
And part of his job was to askquestions of folks who were not
friendly.
And one of the most importantthings he told me was, you know,
don't ask a lot of questions.
You know, build rapport.
Ask about their shoes if you'regoing to ask a question.
Where'd you get your shoes?

(04:34):
I love that.
You know, what I've got similarshoes, right?
So building that rapport, well,that's what we teach
supervisees.
Well, the first session, it'shard to build rapport because
all of our supervisees areworking in sessions or in
settings, at least they shouldbe, where that first session is
an intake where they are askinga lot of questions.

(04:57):
So the first thing with thispoint is number one, own it.
Don't go asking your superviseein this moment a bunch of
questions.
They will get defensive.
So when you finish this episodetoday, if this is number one,
remember anytime you want to getto the bottom of something with
your supervisee, the morequestions you ask, the more

(05:18):
likely it is that they will getdefensive.
So take that paradigm and thentalk to your supervisee about
well, how did you set up thisfirst session?
Did the agency that you work fortell your client, now hang on,
this first session, they'regonna take you through a list of
questions.
It's gonna feel like aninterview, right?

(05:40):
If this is folks' first time incounseling and they're just
expecting to come in and telltheir story and get some good
therapeutic information rightoff the bat, that's just not how
it works most of the time.
And so ask your superviseenumber one if the person
answering the phone and bookingthe appointments at the agency

(06:02):
tells that client, hey, yourcounselor is going to just be
asking you questions.
There won't be a whole lot oftherapeutic work done in that
first session.
And if they don't, have you,supervisor, taught your
supervisee how to prep thatclient for a session full of
questions, right?

(06:23):
It's as simple as, hey, welcometo counseling.
I'm Jane Smith.
Just want to let you know thisfirst session, I'm gonna be
asking you a lot of questions.
So that's not the way counselingalways goes, but these first
couple of sessions tend to be mejust really getting into the
information and asking questionsso we can develop a great

(06:43):
treatment plan for you.
All right.
So number one, questions.
Number two, go person centeredon your supervisee.
Now, if you're strictperson-centered and you are a
Rogerian, this might mean youdon't ask questions at all.
You just reflect, you extend,you create meaning from that

(07:04):
extension.
Or it could be something like,Well, what kind of climate did
you create with this client?
Or tell me how well you feellike you understand the world of
your client.
Or if you did know what to do,what would you do?
So stepping back, slowing downand getting into a

(07:26):
person-centered stance with yoursupervisee can help them open up
and process.
And, you know, they're notgetting defensive because they
don't feel like they have tohave the right answer for you.
And at the same time, you cansort of settle back and watch
them and see if they can processand come up with the answers on

(07:47):
their own.
Number three, invite them torole play.
Ask them, may I sit with you andpretend to be the client?
And you take me through a firstsession.
We'll set up the camera or nocamera and let's see.
I want to see how you're goingthrough that first session.
And if it's okay with you, I'dlike to give you some feedback.

(08:08):
Number four, go deeper.
So when you invite them to roleplay, you're gonna notice some
things happening here.
And yes, role plays they can bereally fake.
And you know, the supervisee maybe putting on their best, you
know, foot for you, and it'snothing like what they're doing
in session.
But what you will see are uhit's parallel processing here.

(08:32):
So sometimes what happens, whatwe know in supervision is the
way that the supervisee is withyou, it parallels the way that
they are with their client.
So if you notice that they getsuper serious and you know, or
they're they're trying to be,you know, very clinical, that

(08:53):
may be how they're acting withtheir client.
Or if they get in front of youand they act kind of goofy and
silly and informal, that may behow they're acting with their
client.
Another piece of this isisomorphism.
So isomorphism is thisreplication of uh the place in
the family of origin.
So, for example, if yoursupervisee is a youngest child

(09:16):
and they're used to being kindof the clown in the family, or
they're used to being, you know,the one that lightens things up
when dad comes home mad.
Maybe what you'll notice in therole play is they're not able to
stay with a client in a hardconversation or a hard question
or an answer to a hard question,or they giggle inappropriately,

(09:40):
or they just move on, keep itmoving.
And yes, I get it.
This is a first session, andthey may be asking a lot of
questions.
But if you're role-playing asecond or a third session and
your supervisee is giving youthat impression that they're not
able to stay with tough thingsand they keep trying to lighten

(10:01):
the mood, you may have somethingthere that you can help them
with in a genogram or justasking them, you know, put on
your clinical hat for a second,supervisor, and ask them about
some trauma maybe that they'vedealt with in their family that
can help them.
Now, don't stay in thatcounselor role, right?
If you find things are gettingheavy and it looks like your

(10:23):
supervisee needs to work throughthat, then of course, recommend
that they get their own therapy.
So you're looking forcountertransference, isomorphism
in your supervisee to help themalong.
Quick pause.
If you're ready to lead withconfidence in 2026, get on the

(10:45):
wait list for my brand newsupervisor course.
Early birds get bonus tools andmy favorite supervision
templates.
Head to KateWalkerTraining.comslash earlybird to join now.
Now the logistics, it may besomething number, this is number

(11:06):
five.
A question to ask is hey,where's the clock in your
office?
And I know that sounds supersimple, but think about a
supervisee.
They're working in an agency orthey're working in a practice
where everything is back to backto back to back.
So they greet their client andthey're kind of like running
late.
I'm so sorry I'm running late.

(11:26):
Come on in, have a seat.
We'll get through this, Ipromise.
Or, you know, they're ending asession and they just don't know
how to end it.
And it's five minutes beyondtime or 10 minutes beyond time.
And you ask them where the clockis, and your supervisee says,
Well, there's not one in theroom, or the clock is behind me,
or well, I use my phone.

(11:47):
You know, something as simple ashelping them put a clock where
they can see it and their clientcan see it, or helping them with
like audible cues, like a littlebell going off or music coming
on so that they know it's timeto wrap up the session, right?
It may not be something superdeep like countertransference
and isomorphism and parallelprocessing things, issues.

(12:11):
It may just be that they are toonew and they feel too
inexperienced to move the clockor ask to put a clock in a
different location.
And you can empower them to dothat because we know what
happens if we're running late orwe're coming into session and
we've got our lunch and we'restill chewing or something like

(12:31):
that.
Our clients tend to caretake us,right?
They're polite people or they'redealing with their own issues
with boundaries andcodependency, and they're gonna
say things to us like, oh, no,no, no, it's fine.
You eat your lunch, right?
And if you're an inexperiencedsupervisee, you may say, Oh,
great, hold on, I'm gonna eat mylunch, and they eat their lunch.

(12:53):
And so the client who has nowtaken on this role of caretaker,
right?
They have now gotten animpression of your supervisee
that maybe just it, they're toohigh maintenance, right?
Like the super their clients,the client is coming in, they're
greeting this supervisee who'srunning late, they haven't eaten

(13:13):
their lunch, and now the clientis thinking, oh gosh, I don't
want them rushing to my session.
I don't want them doing asession with me hungry.
Oh my gosh, how do I make this amore comfortable space for my
counselor?
Yeah, no, that's not good.
I'm gonna go find a newcounselor and they don't come
back.
And even if you're listening tome as an experienced counselor,

(13:35):
if you find that someone whomaybe has been with you a long
time stops coming and you noticeyou have been letting things
slide, and maybe you havestarted coming to sessions late,
or you're saying things like,Hey, you don't mind if I eat a
sandwich in front of you?
Or and you may think, Oh, thisis great.
My client and I have such greatrapport.

(13:57):
Well, that client may bethinking, gosh, you know, I was
kind of hoping this time wasjust for me, but they're too
nice to say anything.
And so, what do nice people dowhen they don't want to confront
you?
Well, they ghost you.
And that may be what's happeningwith your supervisee.
So let's talk aboutinterventions.

(14:17):
So, one of the things I talkabout in my book, the clinical
supervision survival guide, andI'm very proud of this.
We were able to get the SPAIrepublished.
And the SPAI is in this book,and you can download it.
There's a QR code on page 15, Ithink, that you can use to

(14:38):
download every single form inthis book.
And the SPAI, it's a great levelone instrument because you can
go through and ask things like,Hey, have you ever been taught
listening to verbal andnonverbal communication?
Talk to me about that.
Are you able to communicateempathy and genuineness?

(15:01):
And the supervisee can answerthings like, I have not been
trained in this skill.
I seldom use this skill.
I would like additionalinformation about this skill.
So the SPAI is a wonderful levelone instrument.
And you can take your time withit.
You can go over this instrumentin the book over the course of a

(15:22):
month with your supervisee andwork through each question
slowly.
So they don't feel like, youknow, they're just they have the
dunce cap on because they werenever taught or not adequately
taught a particular skill thatmay be the reason some of their
clients aren't coming back.

(15:43):
If you have someone who's leveltwo, right?
So it's a supervisee who has,you know, 600 hours under their
belt, and you're gonna think alittle bit differently.
So, first of all, you shouldhave given them an enter or an
assessment by their level two,right?
But give them something likeGary Lamby's CCSR evaluation.

(16:04):
That's asking questions on ascale from one to five, five
meaning no problem, one meaningit's a problem.
But it's a great way to reallydrill down on skills that are
still lacking in a veryobjective way.
So you can grade your superviseeand they can grade themselves.

(16:27):
And at level two, it's aself-evaluation is highly
recommended, right?
Ask them to self-evaluate, youevaluate, and then you sit with
them and have the conversation.
Now, it might not go well if youhave never evaluated them before
and you want to go back and lookat some episodes and trainings

(16:48):
where I talk about the OER triadorientation evaluation and
remediation.
It's really, really importantthat you start evaluation early.
Because if you go through allthese steps and you're like,
well, oh my gosh, you know, theydefinitely don't have the
skills.
I'm gonna just remediate them.

(17:10):
If you install, if you deliver,instigate a remediation plan and
you have never evaluated thembefore, you're gonna get some
pushback, you're gonna get someshutting down, you're gonna get
some relationship rupture thatyou may not be able to repair.
So when you decide to do aremediation plan, focus on the

(17:36):
elements you've alreadyidentified from your
evaluations.
When I see remediation plans gowrong, it's because supervisors
are trying to remediate thingsthat are very, very nebulous.
Like if you just remediated, I'mgiving you a remediation plan
because your clients don't comeback.
I want you to read a book aboutfirst session, you know, or

(17:58):
listen to Kate Walker's podcastabout, you know, how to do a
first session.
Yeah, that's not gonna help,right?
You have to drill down into theareas that they are lacking in.
It may be something like they'renot able to maintain eye contact
when they're asking a question,or when they ask a question, if
they're face-to-face, they arebehind a desk and you know,

(18:22):
they're just looking behindtheir computer.
Or if they're in a camera andthey're trying to deliver a
first session, maybe they're noton camera at all, and all the
client sees is the side of theirface.
So having very, very specificbehaviors to remediate is key to
maintaining the relationship,number one.

(18:44):
And number two, having asuccessful remediation because
that's what we're doing.
We're growing these superviseesinto our colleagues.
So I hope this was helpful foryou.
If you're a supervisor and youare trying to help your
supervisee who's feelingdiscouraged because their
clients don't come back, ormaybe you are the practice owner

(19:07):
and you have looked at therosters and you're like, uh-oh,
I've noticed, you know, Jane'sclients, they don't stay past
the third session with her.
This will give you tools so thatyou can start to intervene in a
way that will help and not hurtthe relationship.
So have a great day.
I'm Dr.
Kate Walker and I will see you.

(19:27):
If this gave you tools to handletricky supervision moments, hit
like, tap subscribe, and grabyour free supervision onboarding
checklists atKateWalkertraining.com slash
checklist.
Let's turn clients ghosting intoclients growing.

(19:48):
Thanks for listening to BadassTherapists Building Practices
That Thrive.
If you're ready to step intosupervision and lead with
confidence, the brand new 2026supervisor courses are coming
soon, and early birds get firstaccess to bonus tools,
templates, and fast trackgrading.
Join the wait list now atKateWalker Training.comslash

(20:11):
Earlybird.
And if you want ongoing support,CEs, and live coaching, join our
Step It Up membership communityat KateWalkertraining.comslash
step it up.
You're not just building apractice, you're building a
legacy.
I'll see you next week.
If you love today's episode, besure to leave a five-star

(20:32):
review.
It helps other badass therapistsfind the show and build
practices that thrive.
Big thanks to Ridgely Walker forour original fun facts and
podcast intro, and to CarlGuyanella for editing this
episode and making us soundamazing.
See you next week.