June 17, 2025 • 20 mins
Overwhelm isn't just a fleeting feeling anymore—it's become the air we breathe. In this candid conversation, Sabina and Jo explore why we're all feeling caught in this collective chaos and how our desperate attempts to maintain control are actually making everything worse.
The world is undeniably chaotic right now. Between geopolitical tensions, economic uncertainty, workplace demands, and the rapid integration of AI into our lives, it's no wonder we're all feeling stretched beyond capacity. But rather than acknowledging our limitations, many of us respond by gripping tighter to whatever we can control—often micromanaging our families, perfecting insignificant details, and taking on more responsibilities despite being already overwhelmed.
Sabina shares the powerful metaphor of the "runaway train" of busyness that gains such momentum we forget how to apply the brakes. Meanwhile, our bodies send urgent signals through racing thoughts at bedtime, middle-of-the-night email checking, and physical restlessness. The counterintuitive truth is that slowing down isn't just nice—it's necessary for our survival and success.
The most liberating realization? You have permission to say no, to disappoint others occasionally, and to focus on what truly matters. Instead of spreading yourself thin across countless obligations, try this simple exercise: identify one thing to focus on wholeheartedly, one thing to drop completely, and one thing to do for your body or spirit that brings joy. Remember—your worth isn't measured by how busy you are. Take our burnout archetype quiz to discover the patterns driving your particular brand of busyness and receive practical micro-dose strategies to reclaim your power, peace and presence.
To view the Transcript from this week's episode, visit our Balance & Beyond Podcast webpage: https://www.balanceinstitute.com/podcast/2025/102
Thank you for joining us today on the Balance and Beyond Podcast. We're so glad you carved out this time for yourself!
If you’re keen to dive deeper into our world, here are our socials where you can discover more about the toolkit that has helped thousands of women create a life of balance.
Website: www.balanceinstitute.com
Podcast Website: https://www.balanceinstitute.com/podcast
Email: jo@balanceinstitute.com
LinkedIn: https://au.linkedin.com/in/stonejoanne
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/betterbalanceinstitute/
Instagram: @betterbalanceinstitute
Thanks again for tuning in, and we'll see you next time on the Balance & Beyond Podcast!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jo (00:00):
Everyone's busy, but lately it seems to have tipped into
something else, a kind ofcollective chaos where overwhelm
is the new oxygen and we're allsuffocating slowly.
I'm joined by Sabina today.
Sabina, what's really going on?
What's behind this feeling ofbusy?
Sabina (00:21):
Great question, big question when do I start all the
things right?
I think it's collectivelyagreed that the times that we're
living in are pretty wildDoesn't mean that we have to
lose our centre, but there'sgeopolitical stuff going on.
(00:41):
We've had elections inAustralia, elections, you know,
in other parts of the world, youknow there's lots of talk about
the economy and the pace oflife has just really ramped up,
I think in 2025.
You know, resources inworkplaces are, you know, know
(01:02):
the screws are being turned evenmore, expected to do more with
less, and uh.
And then there's that littlething called ai.
That seems to a little thing.
We both a blessing a blessing,let's face it, my goodness.
It's super exciting and sexy insome ways, but in some ways
(01:23):
it's also a curse, and I thinkwe need to really build in a lot
more consciousness, right nowmore than ever, to find ways to
zoom out, take a breath, stepback and find ways to counter
(01:44):
the crazy, to counter the busy.
At a time when you feel likeyou don't have the opportunity
to take a breath, that's whenit's even more important to do
so, isn't it, jo?
Jo (01:57):
Absolutely.
And there's some very, verycommon themes that we see in our
world, and I think all three ofus on our team can speak to
this, because we've also fallenvictim to them, because we are
human and this is those mistakenstories we tell ourselves about
.
Oh, it's just a season.
When I get through, blah, blah,blah.
Then I'll X Y, z, take care ofmyself, go for that coffee with
(02:19):
a friend.
Meanwhile, six months passesand you still haven't done the
thing or still haven't caught upwith that friend.
So we end up believing,mistakenly, that we can control
the busy, that busy isinherently bad and there's a
problem with the way that we'reliving our lives.
Instead of saying, how do Ifind space for myself in this
(02:42):
life?
And that's going to involveletting go of one particular
c-word, sabina, that we see somany women desperate to maintain
, particularly in busy times, inuncertain times.
What's that c-word, sabina?
Control, oh, control everything.
(03:03):
Hold on really tight knife saysit's gonna happen this way and
this way and this way and thisway, this way yeah, and of
course, that makes sense.
Sabina (03:14):
When we are feeling more and more out of control or that
external forces are, um, youknow, really influencing our
world, the less and less incontrol we feel, and so we have
this counter force and desire togrip on tighter, because no one
(03:35):
wants to feel powerless, no onewants to feel helpless, and so
we look around, clutching,sometimes desperately, at all
the things that we can control,and, yeah, it makes sense.
And where are you basicallyexpending really valuable energy
(03:56):
on things that you can'tcontrol anyway?
And in doing so, you're justbecoming so busy and, frankly,
exhausted and it's somewhatfutile.
Really, it is somewhat futile.
And again, this is a pattern wesee a lot is that the more
(04:17):
stressed we are, the more we tryto control.
And sometimes, you know, we seeit playing out at home people
with their partners becoming alittle bit maybe naggy or
micromanaging the children.
And we were talking about thisearlier, weren't we in one of
our one of our mentorshipprograms, that the people that
(04:43):
we share our homes with areoften very good at giving us the
feedback when we're being overcontrolling, and that is often a
clue and a cue to stop,reassess and go okay, what am I
actually trying to achieve withall this over control?
What is actually going on, butbeneath the surface?
Jo (05:07):
and there's also with that controlling almost tips us into
over functioning, because wewant to control everything.
So our perfectionist ramps up,we end up beating ourselves up
more, which actually just makesus more exhausted, and so we
lean more into the busy, butwe're even more depleted, so we
(05:28):
end up making mistakes orbecoming more emotional.
I had a mum I was speaking toat a school event recently and
she ended up bursting into tearsnext to me and I said oh,
what's going wrong?
She said so-and-so is wearingthe wrong colored shirt today
because the right one was stilldirty.
I said does it what, what, what?
(05:50):
She was an absolute puddlebecause she sent her kid
together to school in the wrongcolored shirt and in her mind
that was yet again more evidencethat she was failing, because
she something else came up andshe didn't have time to do the
washing and so she's justholding everything together.
And I looked at her and I saiddo you think it really matters?
I said you're still a great momand she just turned into more
(06:12):
of a puddle and then pulledherself together and went.
You know what?
Actually, maybe it doesn't.
I said I think you might betterlet that one go.
Your kid's going to be okay andyou're going to be okay.
I said how about you go hometonight?
Just go to bed early, don'tstay up till 10 o'clock
frantically doing whatever thingthat you think you have to do
to stop being a failure.
Sabina (06:33):
Yeah, it's this concept that we talk about again quite a
lot, which is having too manytabs open.
So when we feel out of controlor there's a lot of instability
or insecurity you know jobs,insecurity, it's a thing it's a
thing and of course you're goingto be affected.
But when you have so many tabsopen in your brain and you feel
(06:54):
like you need to control X, y, z, a, b, c, 1, 2, 52 or 11
billion things, of course you'renot going to be doing any of
them justice and of coursethings are going to be slipping
through the net.
Give yourself some grace.
Of course it's too much, and so, again, that's a clue how can I
(07:23):
simplify?
How can I slow down?
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of ambition.
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of wanting the best for your
children.
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of ambition.
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of wanting the best for your
children.
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of setting your sights on
your career aspirations.
What it does mean is that youneed to be more curated with
(07:44):
your thoughts, with your actionsand where you are trying to
make an impact, because when youare spreading yourself too thin
, because you're feeling out ofcontrol, that is a surefire way
to not do anything properly.
Jo (08:03):
And Sabina we often talk about our as we start to get out
of control and we lean intocontrol and we lead into the
busy.
It's almost like our nervoussystem starts to get fried.
What are some of the symptomsthat someone's there going I
mean most people probably know?
Oh yes, I'm a bit fried, butanything you can share on how
our nervous system works andwhat happens when it is in
(08:25):
overdrive, hoping that a littlebit of this whether you want to
call it neuroscience or factualunderstanding, can help people
see that you know what.
It's not that I'm broken or I'mfailing, I'm just working often
beyond the capacity of what Imight have.
Sabina (08:41):
Yeah.
So our nervous systems andreally our bodies, are a
beautiful barometer to let usknow how we're tracking.
So instead of sometimes makingour bodies the enemy or our
emotions the enemy, go why?
Why haven't I got the energy,you know, why is my body failing
(09:03):
me?
Or why can't I run as I used topre babies, or why is my body
shape changing?
That's an opportunity to stopand go.
What messages is my bodytelling me?
What is my nervous systemtelling me?
It's a little bit like when weget so caught up in the busy and
(09:24):
trying to be perfect.
It's like a runaway train.
It almost gathers speed that isout of control and you don't
know how to put the um, thebrakes on.
You don't know how to slow downbecause you've been operating
at that speed so long and sohard and so fast that, a you
don't know where the brakes areand, b you're worried.
(09:46):
What's going to happen if youdo actually break and slow down?
Will you ever be able to startup again?
You're a good company, you'refine.
You like my analogies, don't I?
Jo, I'm sure listeners aregoing.
What is she talking about today?
It's like this runaway trainand it's got all the carriages
and you're carrying coal andthen you stop at another station
(10:08):
briefly going, hurry up, hurryup, load on another carriage and
then you're off again.
And we have to.
We are human beings.
We have to learn to listen toour bodies and our nervous
systems, because if we don't,you know, then their hormone
issues, our endocrine systems,start being upset or we get
(10:32):
joint problems.
Whatever it is, we can, we canrun so long on high cortisol and
high stress until we suddenlycan't.
And we're very passionate,aren't we about prevention being
better than cure?
And that's why we do what we dohere at the Balance Institute.
(10:54):
But your nervous system is oftena barometer of how quickly
you're able to regulate yourself.
So there is this perceptionthat you're supposed to be zen
and calm and an earth mother andsuper cool as a cucumber leader
.
That's rubbish.
Let's just throw that out thewindow.
Your nervous system is designedto go into certain modes but
(11:19):
then to be able to come back andregulate.
So there is no perfect.
But if you're finding thatyou're rushing, rushing, rushing
and then when you sit down youcan't actually sit down, you've
got ants in your pants, or youcan't lie down.
When you go down to lie down tosleep.
You've got racing thoughts oryou're waking up at two or three
(11:42):
or four in the morning and thengoing.
You know what I just feel likegoing for a quick 5k run that's
probably doing tomorrow'spresentation.
Jo (11:52):
Yeah, I mean, I have some.
I'm awake now.
I may as well use the time andget a start on tomorrow.
Sabina (11:58):
That's it.
I have some clients who saythat they get up and check their
emails at three o'clock in themorning because they can't sleep
.
That is a really obvious signthat your poor nervous system
really needs some nourishingsupport.
So it can feel physicallycounterintuitive to slow down,
(12:21):
but our bodies are always givingus feedback about what it needs
and we need to learn to tune inand listen to that again.
Jo (12:30):
And that tuning in is something that when you are
stuck in a high cortisol, busytrain on full blast because you
have to get wherever you thinkit is that you're going, it's
like no time for noise, no timefor feelings, no time for the
bathroom.
What hydration?
I'll do that later.
I'll just have wine.
I know that's going to help mysystem.
So we just fly forward.
(12:51):
But you mentioned this wordcounterintuitive, and I know it
took me a really, really longtime to learn.
We've heard for years slowingdown, to speed up, but our
bodies, our brains, like no,don't stop, Don't stop.
We have to learn to put asidethose voices, don't we?
It's almost like that's thetrain going keep going, keep
(13:12):
going.
But the rest of you is like Ineed to stop because if you
don't stop, eventually your bodywill just give up on you.
Sabina (13:19):
Yeah, it is, and so that , yeah, there's this phrase
which is slow down to speed up,which it just becomes lip
service.
But I think until you'veexperienced burnout yourself,
which you and I both have, umyou, it sometimes doesn't make
sense.
When you are incapacitated,whether it be mentally or
(13:43):
physically or emotionally, yourealize that you can only take
small steps.
And if you try and hurryyourself through a collapse,
whether you realize you'recollapsed or not, it's not
sustainable and you're going togo 10 steps further backwards.
So it is much better to to doto take preventative measures
(14:07):
early, when you can feelyourself like this runaway train
, um, and start slowing down andand zeroing in on what are my
priorities, what are the reallyimportant levers and knobs that
I need to turn in my life andwhat is all the extraneous crap
(14:30):
that I just don't need to dealwith right now, because it's not
life and death, but if I don'tslow down right now, honestly it
may be a life or deathsituation.
If I don't, you know, heartattacks don't happen now, it may
happen in five years' time or10 years' time.
Jo (14:50):
Yeah, and you have to accept that as part of this process.
You will let people down andthat's okay when you are in the
process of unraveling or, youknow, staying saying no to the
busy.
I actually had some parentsrecently message me from our
school and say, jo, I haven'tseen your name on this.
There's a whole stack ofvolunteer stuff happening.
You didn't bake for the bakesale.
(15:12):
I just went.
No, sorry, I would have loved to, but I've got a lot on right
now and that was something thatwas optional.
I didn't feel guilty at all.
I slept very well that night.
I had multiple text messages oh, your name's not on this list.
You're not on the committee.
No, I'm not, because right nowI don't need to be.
So I'm not making that meananything about me.
(15:34):
I'm not making that mean thatI'm a failed parent or I'm just
being very, very discerningbecause I am busy where I'm
putting my energy and that isone place that is not required.
So, part of this journey ofletting go of control when you
are able to say no to morethings, you don't actually need
to control as much because I'mnot just adding more and more
(15:58):
and more things to my plate andthen wondering why I can't hold
it all.
So this is a lesson that mostwomen have to learn the hard way
, don't they, sabina?
It's like we take on too muchand then don't realise that we
actually have the choice inputting some of those things
down.
Sabina (16:11):
Yeah, you know.
A question you might askyourself, if you're listening,
is how can I do fewer thingsbetter and I don't notice, I
didn't say perfectly but how canI do fewer things, um, better,
um, and also take care of mybody and perhaps my
relationships at the same time?
Jo (16:36):
because they're always within your control.
Right, your body, yourrelationships are not subject to
geopolitical movements,election cycles, bitcoin or gold
prices, like you know, how muchyou drink, how much you eat,
how much you sleep, how younourish your nervous system are
(16:56):
all fundamentally within yourcontrol.
It's about putting the busydown, letting go of all the
stuff that is, if you let it in,would have you rocking in the
corner.
Gotta learn to tune that out.
Sabina (17:13):
Yeah absolutely so.
You know what another thingthat you could take away from
this episode is.
What is, what is one thing thatyou do want to focus on, giving
more of your attention to Dothat, do that and go all in and
(17:34):
do it in a fulfilling way.
In a fulfilling way, what isone thing that you can drop and
what is perhaps one thing thatyou can do for your body or your
spirit to counter all the crazy?
So do you need to send amessage to a girlfriend and
organize a girl's night out tohave a giggle?
(17:54):
Just have a giggle, or weepinto some tea, whichever one it
is, but you know.
Jo (18:01):
Put on the notebook and cry because that's what you need
right now.
Go for it, right.
Sabina (18:05):
Exactly?
Or do you need to go and watcha movie by yourself?
Do you want to go for a run?
What can you do for your body?
Just think about some goingback to basics.
How can you simplify and thenalso remember that you have a
body and a spirit that alsoneeds to feel some joy, and
you're in control of that?
Jo (18:27):
Absolutely.
This is all about yes, it'sbusy, but there is more control
in the busy than we realize.
So if you are caught in thiscycle of doing, if you are stuck
in the busy, if you can seeyourself going around in circles
Sabina gave you a great tip.
Would love you to take that andactually do something with it.
Say no to something if you haveto, but also you can make sure
(18:50):
you take our burnout archetypequiz and find out what is the
pattern that is underneath yourpace, and there's going to be
some practical tips, usuallymicro doses, less than three
minutes, because that's oftenall we have.
That can make the differencebetween you feeling how you do
now and feeling back in yourpower, back in your peace and
back in the presence of yourlife.
(19:11):
So thanks for joining me Sabina.
Thanks Jo.
Thanks for joining us today on the balance and beyond
podcast.
We're so glad you carved outthis time for yourself.
If you enjoyed this episode,please share it with a friend
who might need to hear thistoday and, if you're feeling
extra generous, leaving us areview on your podcast platform
(19:31):
of choice would mean the worldto us.
If you're keen to dive deeperinto our world, visit
balanceinstitutecom to discovermore about the toolkit that has
helped thousands of women avoidburnout and create a life of
balance and beyond.
Thanks again for tuning in andwe'll see you next time on the
Balance and Beyond podcast.
Everyone's busy, but lately it seems to have tipped into
something else, a kind ofcollective chaos where overwhelm
is the new oxygen and we're allsuffocating slowly.
I'm joined by Sabina today.
Sabina, what's really going on?
What's behind this feeling ofbusy?
Sabina (00:21):
Great question, big question when do I start all the
things right?
I think it's collectivelyagreed that the times that we're
living in are pretty wildDoesn't mean that we have to
lose our centre, but there'sgeopolitical stuff going on.
(00:41):
We've had elections inAustralia, elections, you know,
in other parts of the world, youknow there's lots of talk about
the economy and the pace oflife has just really ramped up,
I think in 2025.
You know, resources inworkplaces are, you know, know
(01:02):
the screws are being turned evenmore, expected to do more with
less, and uh.
And then there's that littlething called ai.
That seems to a little thing.
We both a blessing a blessing,let's face it, my goodness.
It's super exciting and sexy insome ways, but in some ways
(01:23):
it's also a curse, and I thinkwe need to really build in a lot
more consciousness, right nowmore than ever, to find ways to
zoom out, take a breath, stepback and find ways to counter
(01:44):
the crazy, to counter the busy.
At a time when you feel likeyou don't have the opportunity
to take a breath, that's whenit's even more important to do
so, isn't it, jo?
Jo (01:57):
Absolutely.
And there's some very, verycommon themes that we see in our
world, and I think all three ofus on our team can speak to
this, because we've also fallenvictim to them, because we are
human and this is those mistakenstories we tell ourselves about
.
Oh, it's just a season.
When I get through, blah, blah,blah.
Then I'll X Y, z, take care ofmyself, go for that coffee with
(02:19):
a friend.
Meanwhile, six months passesand you still haven't done the
thing or still haven't caught upwith that friend.
So we end up believing,mistakenly, that we can control
the busy, that busy isinherently bad and there's a
problem with the way that we'reliving our lives.
Instead of saying, how do Ifind space for myself in this
(02:42):
life?
And that's going to involveletting go of one particular
c-word, sabina, that we see somany women desperate to maintain
, particularly in busy times, inuncertain times.
What's that c-word, sabina?
Control, oh, control everything.
(03:03):
Hold on really tight knife saysit's gonna happen this way and
this way and this way and thisway, this way yeah, and of
course, that makes sense.
Sabina (03:14):
When we are feeling more and more out of control or that
external forces are, um, youknow, really influencing our
world, the less and less incontrol we feel, and so we have
this counter force and desire togrip on tighter, because no one
(03:35):
wants to feel powerless, no onewants to feel helpless, and so
we look around, clutching,sometimes desperately, at all
the things that we can control,and, yeah, it makes sense.
And where are you basicallyexpending really valuable energy
(03:56):
on things that you can'tcontrol anyway?
And in doing so, you're justbecoming so busy and, frankly,
exhausted and it's somewhatfutile.
Really, it is somewhat futile.
And again, this is a pattern wesee a lot is that the more
(04:17):
stressed we are, the more we tryto control.
And sometimes, you know, we seeit playing out at home people
with their partners becoming alittle bit maybe naggy or
micromanaging the children.
And we were talking about thisearlier, weren't we in one of
our one of our mentorshipprograms, that the people that
(04:43):
we share our homes with areoften very good at giving us the
feedback when we're being overcontrolling, and that is often a
clue and a cue to stop,reassess and go okay, what am I
actually trying to achieve withall this over control?
What is actually going on, butbeneath the surface?
Jo (05:07):
and there's also with that controlling almost tips us into
over functioning, because wewant to control everything.
So our perfectionist ramps up,we end up beating ourselves up
more, which actually just makesus more exhausted, and so we
lean more into the busy, butwe're even more depleted, so we
(05:28):
end up making mistakes orbecoming more emotional.
I had a mum I was speaking toat a school event recently and
she ended up bursting into tearsnext to me and I said oh,
what's going wrong?
She said so-and-so is wearingthe wrong colored shirt today
because the right one was stilldirty.
I said does it what, what, what?
(05:50):
She was an absolute puddlebecause she sent her kid
together to school in the wrongcolored shirt and in her mind
that was yet again more evidencethat she was failing, because
she something else came up andshe didn't have time to do the
washing and so she's justholding everything together.
And I looked at her and I saiddo you think it really matters?
I said you're still a great momand she just turned into more
(06:12):
of a puddle and then pulledherself together and went.
You know what?
Actually, maybe it doesn't.
I said I think you might betterlet that one go.
Your kid's going to be okay andyou're going to be okay.
I said how about you go hometonight?
Just go to bed early, don'tstay up till 10 o'clock
frantically doing whatever thingthat you think you have to do
to stop being a failure.
Sabina (06:33):
Yeah, it's this concept that we talk about again quite a
lot, which is having too manytabs open.
So when we feel out of controlor there's a lot of instability
or insecurity you know jobs,insecurity, it's a thing it's a
thing and of course you're goingto be affected.
But when you have so many tabsopen in your brain and you feel
(06:54):
like you need to control X, y, z, a, b, c, 1, 2, 52 or 11
billion things, of course you'renot going to be doing any of
them justice and of coursethings are going to be slipping
through the net.
Give yourself some grace.
Of course it's too much, and so, again, that's a clue how can I
(07:23):
simplify?
How can I slow down?
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of ambition.
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of wanting the best for your
children.
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of ambition.
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of wanting the best for your
children.
It doesn't mean you have to letgo of setting your sights on
your career aspirations.
What it does mean is that youneed to be more curated with
(07:44):
your thoughts, with your actionsand where you are trying to
make an impact, because when youare spreading yourself too thin
, because you're feeling out ofcontrol, that is a surefire way
to not do anything properly.
Jo (08:03):
And Sabina we often talk about our as we start to get out
of control and we lean intocontrol and we lead into the
busy.
It's almost like our nervoussystem starts to get fried.
What are some of the symptomsthat someone's there going I
mean most people probably know?
Oh yes, I'm a bit fried, butanything you can share on how
our nervous system works andwhat happens when it is in
(08:25):
overdrive, hoping that a littlebit of this whether you want to
call it neuroscience or factualunderstanding, can help people
see that you know what.
It's not that I'm broken or I'mfailing, I'm just working often
beyond the capacity of what Imight have.
Sabina (08:41):
Yeah.
So our nervous systems andreally our bodies, are a
beautiful barometer to let usknow how we're tracking.
So instead of sometimes makingour bodies the enemy or our
emotions the enemy, go why?
Why haven't I got the energy,you know, why is my body failing
(09:03):
me?
Or why can't I run as I used topre babies, or why is my body
shape changing?
That's an opportunity to stopand go.
What messages is my bodytelling me?
What is my nervous systemtelling me?
It's a little bit like when weget so caught up in the busy and
(09:24):
trying to be perfect.
It's like a runaway train.
It almost gathers speed that isout of control and you don't
know how to put the um, thebrakes on.
You don't know how to slow downbecause you've been operating
at that speed so long and sohard and so fast that, a you
don't know where the brakes areand, b you're worried.
(09:46):
What's going to happen if youdo actually break and slow down?
Will you ever be able to startup again?
You're a good company, you'refine.
You like my analogies, don't I?
Jo, I'm sure listeners aregoing.
What is she talking about today?
It's like this runaway trainand it's got all the carriages
and you're carrying coal andthen you stop at another station
(10:08):
briefly going, hurry up, hurryup, load on another carriage and
then you're off again.
And we have to.
We are human beings.
We have to learn to listen toour bodies and our nervous
systems, because if we don't,you know, then their hormone
issues, our endocrine systems,start being upset or we get
(10:32):
joint problems.
Whatever it is, we can, we canrun so long on high cortisol and
high stress until we suddenlycan't.
And we're very passionate,aren't we about prevention being
better than cure?
And that's why we do what we dohere at the Balance Institute.
(10:54):
But your nervous system is oftena barometer of how quickly
you're able to regulate yourself.
So there is this perceptionthat you're supposed to be zen
and calm and an earth mother andsuper cool as a cucumber leader
.
That's rubbish.
Let's just throw that out thewindow.
Your nervous system is designedto go into certain modes but
(11:19):
then to be able to come back andregulate.
So there is no perfect.
But if you're finding thatyou're rushing, rushing, rushing
and then when you sit down youcan't actually sit down, you've
got ants in your pants, or youcan't lie down.
When you go down to lie down tosleep.
You've got racing thoughts oryou're waking up at two or three
(11:42):
or four in the morning and thengoing.
You know what I just feel likegoing for a quick 5k run that's
probably doing tomorrow'spresentation.
Jo (11:52):
Yeah, I mean, I have some.
I'm awake now.
I may as well use the time andget a start on tomorrow.
Sabina (11:58):
That's it.
I have some clients who saythat they get up and check their
emails at three o'clock in themorning because they can't sleep
.
That is a really obvious signthat your poor nervous system
really needs some nourishingsupport.
So it can feel physicallycounterintuitive to slow down,
(12:21):
but our bodies are always givingus feedback about what it needs
and we need to learn to tune inand listen to that again.
Jo (12:30):
And that tuning in is something that when you are
stuck in a high cortisol, busytrain on full blast because you
have to get wherever you thinkit is that you're going, it's
like no time for noise, no timefor feelings, no time for the
bathroom.
What hydration?
I'll do that later.
I'll just have wine.
I know that's going to help mysystem.
So we just fly forward.
(12:51):
But you mentioned this wordcounterintuitive, and I know it
took me a really, really longtime to learn.
We've heard for years slowingdown, to speed up, but our
bodies, our brains, like no,don't stop, Don't stop.
We have to learn to put asidethose voices, don't we?
It's almost like that's thetrain going keep going, keep
(13:12):
going.
But the rest of you is like Ineed to stop because if you
don't stop, eventually your bodywill just give up on you.
Sabina (13:19):
Yeah, it is, and so that , yeah, there's this phrase
which is slow down to speed up,which it just becomes lip
service.
But I think until you'veexperienced burnout yourself,
which you and I both have, umyou, it sometimes doesn't make
sense.
When you are incapacitated,whether it be mentally or
(13:43):
physically or emotionally, yourealize that you can only take
small steps.
And if you try and hurryyourself through a collapse,
whether you realize you'recollapsed or not, it's not
sustainable and you're going togo 10 steps further backwards.
So it is much better to to doto take preventative measures
(14:07):
early, when you can feelyourself like this runaway train
, um, and start slowing down andand zeroing in on what are my
priorities, what are the reallyimportant levers and knobs that
I need to turn in my life andwhat is all the extraneous crap
(14:30):
that I just don't need to dealwith right now, because it's not
life and death, but if I don'tslow down right now, honestly it
may be a life or deathsituation.
If I don't, you know, heartattacks don't happen now, it may
happen in five years' time or10 years' time.
Jo (14:50):
Yeah, and you have to accept that as part of this process.
You will let people down andthat's okay when you are in the
process of unraveling or, youknow, staying saying no to the
busy.
I actually had some parentsrecently message me from our
school and say, jo, I haven'tseen your name on this.
There's a whole stack ofvolunteer stuff happening.
You didn't bake for the bakesale.
(15:12):
I just went.
No, sorry, I would have loved to, but I've got a lot on right
now and that was something thatwas optional.
I didn't feel guilty at all.
I slept very well that night.
I had multiple text messages oh, your name's not on this list.
You're not on the committee.
No, I'm not, because right nowI don't need to be.
So I'm not making that meananything about me.
(15:34):
I'm not making that mean thatI'm a failed parent or I'm just
being very, very discerningbecause I am busy where I'm
putting my energy and that isone place that is not required.
So, part of this journey ofletting go of control when you
are able to say no to morethings, you don't actually need
to control as much because I'mnot just adding more and more
(15:58):
and more things to my plate andthen wondering why I can't hold
it all.
So this is a lesson that mostwomen have to learn the hard way
, don't they, sabina?
It's like we take on too muchand then don't realise that we
actually have the choice inputting some of those things
down.
Sabina (16:11):
Yeah, you know.
A question you might askyourself, if you're listening,
is how can I do fewer thingsbetter and I don't notice, I
didn't say perfectly but how canI do fewer things, um, better,
um, and also take care of mybody and perhaps my
relationships at the same time?
Jo (16:36):
because they're always within your control.
Right, your body, yourrelationships are not subject to
geopolitical movements,election cycles, bitcoin or gold
prices, like you know, how muchyou drink, how much you eat,
how much you sleep, how younourish your nervous system are
(16:56):
all fundamentally within yourcontrol.
It's about putting the busydown, letting go of all the
stuff that is, if you let it in,would have you rocking in the
corner.
Gotta learn to tune that out.
Sabina (17:13):
Yeah absolutely so.
You know what another thingthat you could take away from
this episode is.
What is, what is one thing thatyou do want to focus on, giving
more of your attention to Dothat, do that and go all in and
(17:34):
do it in a fulfilling way.
In a fulfilling way, what isone thing that you can drop and
what is perhaps one thing thatyou can do for your body or your
spirit to counter all the crazy?
So do you need to send amessage to a girlfriend and
organize a girl's night out tohave a giggle?
(17:54):
Just have a giggle, or weepinto some tea, whichever one it
is, but you know.
Jo (18:01):
Put on the notebook and cry because that's what you need
right now.
Go for it, right.
Sabina (18:05):
Exactly?
Or do you need to go and watcha movie by yourself?
Do you want to go for a run?
What can you do for your body?
Just think about some goingback to basics.
How can you simplify and thenalso remember that you have a
body and a spirit that alsoneeds to feel some joy, and
you're in control of that?
Jo (18:27):
Absolutely.
This is all about yes, it'sbusy, but there is more control
in the busy than we realize.
So if you are caught in thiscycle of doing, if you are stuck
in the busy, if you can seeyourself going around in circles
Sabina gave you a great tip.
Would love you to take that andactually do something with it.
Say no to something if you haveto, but also you can make sure
(18:50):
you take our burnout archetypequiz and find out what is the
pattern that is underneath yourpace, and there's going to be
some practical tips, usuallymicro doses, less than three
minutes, because that's oftenall we have.
That can make the differencebetween you feeling how you do
now and feeling back in yourpower, back in your peace and
back in the presence of yourlife.
(19:11):
So thanks for joining me Sabina.
Thanks Jo.
Thanks for joining us today on the balance and beyond
podcast.
We're so glad you carved outthis time for yourself.
If you enjoyed this episode,please share it with a friend
who might need to hear thistoday and, if you're feeling
extra generous, leaving us areview on your podcast platform
(19:31):
of choice would mean the worldto us.
If you're keen to dive deeperinto our world, visit
balanceinstitutecom to discovermore about the toolkit that has
helped thousands of women avoidburnout and create a life of
balance and beyond.
Thanks again for tuning in andwe'll see you next time on the
Balance and Beyond podcast.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.