June 24, 2025 • 15 mins
Your body has been whispering all day, but have you been too busy to listen? For ambitious women pursuing big goals, there's a tendency to live exclusively from the neck up—treating our bodies as mere vehicles for our brilliant minds while we conquer the world.
This disembodied approach works, until it doesn't. Achievement comes, but satisfaction remains fleeting. Success looks impressive from the outside, but feels increasingly hollow on the inside. The irony? The very bodily wisdom we're ignoring holds the key to deeper fulfillment and sustainable success.
What if your body could be more than an annoying limitation? What if it could actually amplify your vision? When we partner with our physical intelligence rather than overriding it, we access pathways to joy, intuition, and creativity that the cognitive mind alone cannot reach. For high-performers accustomed to pushing through discomfort, this requires a profound mindset shift—recognizing that embodiment doesn't diminish your drive but enhances it.
Simple practices can begin this reconnection. Extended exhale breathing regulates your nervous system, creating the conditions for clearer thinking and emotional resilience. Physical touch, like placing a hand on your heart, communicates safety to your fascia network (which stores stress memories just beneath your skin). These aren't just feel-good techniques; they're practical tools for enhancing decision-making, creativity, and preventing the burnout that threatens your biggest ambitions.
Ready to stop treating your body as an afterthought? Discover the untapped power that exists beyond your brain. Visit balanceinstitutecom to explore our toolkit that has helped thousands of women create lives of genuine balance and lasting fulfillment.
To view the Transcript from this week's episode, visit our Balance & Beyond Podcast webpage: https://www.balanceinstitute.com/podcast/2025/103
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jo (00:03):
Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for
ambitious women who refuse toaccept burnout as the price of
success.
Here we're committed toempowering you with the tools
and strategies you need toachieve true balance, where your
career, relationships andhealth all thrive and where you
have the power to define successon your terms.
I honor the space you'vecreated for yourself today, so
(00:25):
let's take a breath and diveright in.
If you only realize your backhurts when you lie down at night
, this episode is for youbecause your body's been
whispering all day.
You've just been too busy tolisten.
If you only realize your backhurts when you lie down at night
(00:46):
, this episode is for youbecause your body's been talking
all day long and you've beentoo busy to hear it.
Jacqueline, women are runninglife from the neck up.
What really is going on here?
Oh, boy.
Jaclyn (01:01):
So much A disembodied life, quite, literally right
Outside, living just from, likeyou said, the neck up, not
actually inhabiting their bodies.
So what does this all mean andwhy is it important?
Well, obviously the women whocome here value big lives Like
(01:26):
they're up to big things.
Right, they want to achieve bigthings, whether it's, you know,
making a big impact with theirfield, making a lot of money,
being amazing moms, wives, likepowerful women come to us right,
so they're up to something, andthe tendency for high
(01:47):
performers is to treat theirbodies as like a machine or kind
of this, like roboticrelationship, because unless you
have health issues, you can getaway with that, right.
Anyone who has health issuesthen probably has a different
relationship with their bodybecause they must, right.
(02:07):
So we're assuming that maybehealth issues aren't so much of
a thing, or maybe they are andyou're just ignoring it.
Like you said, your back ishurting or thinking you have to
live with it, but you don't feelthat until at night because
you're treating your body like amachine.
So I can't be bothered to payattention to the ache here or
(02:29):
the weird fatigue I'm noticing.
I'm noticing, but it's tooannoying to put my attention on
those annoying symptoms.
It's annoying my body isannoying.
It's a nuisance.
It's not functioning as high asI'm functioning in my mind with
my like go-getter, highachievement, like I'm going to
go conquer the world attitude,but it's so disenfranchised from
(02:53):
, like your whole being and Idon't.
I think first it's more of justa mindset shift that, like your
body wants to partner with youin creating amazing things in
the world.
Like imagine if your body justwasn't this like necessary,
(03:13):
annoying thing that you had todrag around while you're up to
your mission in the world.
Like what if you could partnerwith it so that your body
actually amplified your vision?
And I think that that is like aconsideration that might be
really powerful for women, right, like, oh, like, if my body
(03:34):
could actually amplify the bigthings I want to do in the world
, then maybe I'll pay attentionto it.
So start there.
Is there anything you want topiggyback on that, jo?
Just I just wanted to open thatas a possibility for anybody
tuning in.
Jo (03:49):
Yeah, I think we put so much value on our intelligence, on
our mental faculties, and, formany of us, it's our brains that
have got us all of our success.
We're not people who makethings with our hands or who,
you know, build things brick bybrick.
Many of us, our brains iseverything and instead of
(04:14):
thinking that, well, this bodyis just the thing that carries
around the brain, we yeah, wedon't really understand the full
power of what ecosystem ourbrain needs to function in to be
at its best, not to mention notjust the ecosystem and that
goes down to health and wellnessand cortisol and all those
(04:37):
things but also what the hell'sthe point?
I can have intelligence, I canhave capability, I can have
success.
I have success, but if I'm numb, if I'm hollow, then it's not
going to make any of it worth itin the first place.
Jaclyn (04:51):
Yeah, yeah.
So I think the women tuninginto this are already feeling
that tug, like there's thistendency to kind of, you know,
have that high achievement, thatlike passion, that drive to
achieve and achieve.
But at a certain point itstarts to feel hollow, like what
is all this for?
Am I just an amazing brain onlegs, which is cool, and it's
(05:13):
gotten me here and I do kind oflove that about myself, like
nothing wrong with it.
It's cool, like we celebratethat.
But there is a question womenare coming to us with Like is is
there more than this Cause?
This is great, but maybe maybethere's more like fulfillment,
Maybe there's more peace, maybethere's more wholeness,
(05:35):
satisfaction uh, the tendencywith women coming in with lots
of high achiever um drive issatisfaction is really fleeting
and the body is a big part ofexperiencing satisfaction.
And I think maybe people needto hear that again.
Like the body is a big part ofexperiencing satisfaction
(05:55):
because the brain won't everreally be satisfied, right,
because it's not the design.
The design is like what'spossible and what am I going to
create now, and like what's next, so great.
But when do you ever get tofeel truly fulfilled, satisfied,
at peace, more than just likefor a fleeting moment before the
next thing.
(06:16):
Um, there might be a questionyou're asking yourself.
So the body is where you'regoing to find that and the and
it's not going to take you awayfrom your brain and all of the
amazing things that it's up to.
It's actually going to amplifyit.
It's.
It's a partnership, and what Imean by that is it's and I mean
it metaphorically, but alsoliterally like the brain.
(06:36):
The brain maps with your wholenervous system, right.
Like the brain moves downthrough the spinal cord and then
the spinal cord speaks to everysingle system in your body.
The brain moves down throughthe spinal cord and then the
spinal cord speaks to everysingle system in your body.
They're completely interwoven.
We just forget they are.
If you can start payingattention to your body's needs,
(06:59):
just to start, am I tending tomy body's nourishment?
Am I feeding it?
Do I let it go to the toiletwhen?
it needs to as it resting and isit exercising in ways that
aren't depleting, because somethere's a tendency with high
achiever women to like blow outtheir adrenals, like running
marathons in their exerciseregimen alongside their other.
(07:24):
Whatever marathons,metaphorically, they're running
in life, so that's fine.
I'm not saying don't do that.
I'm saying are you also equallyrestoring and I know this is
part and part of your journey,joe are you equally restoring
and I think you should probablyspeak to that because that's so
powerful Are you equally, if notmore, spending time on
restorative work, movement inyour body, spending time with
(07:46):
recalibrating your nervoussystem and what amazingness that
allows for, then, theperformance of your body
movement or your legacy, orwhatever it is that you're up to
in the world?
Yeah, you take it from there.
That's your bag, you've donethat.
Jo (08:04):
Yeah, this has been a really big part of my journey and, as
Jacqueline said, you know I waspart of.
The reason I blew up my lifewas because it felt very hollow.
I was asking what the hell isthe point, and satisfaction was
very fleeting.
I would achieve something, andliterally I would.
As I was achieving it, I wasalready like, well, you don't
(08:24):
want to get complacent next, nowyou've got to up it, or now
you've got to.
And so there was very littleenjoyment and what I now know is
that wasn't embodied enjoyment,it was mental enjoyment and, as
you said, our brain goes got itnext, but you don't put that in
the front seat, you turn aroundand go yep, you've said next,
(08:45):
but right now I'm going to stopand smell the roses.
I'm going to actually sit inthis joy and excitement and
satisfaction and praise formyself and pride, and that takes
work.
That's a muscle that you haveto learn to build.
And I was very head focused,incredibly head focused,
completely numb, didn't evenrealize that I might've had an
(09:08):
autoimmune disease until I foundmyself in hospital.
Because that's what everybodydoes.
It gives us little whispers andthen we're too busy, we ignore
them.
No time for the doctor.
I've got a report, or it wasend of month or it was whatever.
And then it starts throwing afew more rocks and you go, oh
well, I'll get to that then.
Oh, you know, I guess I'll gosee a physio, but I just assumed
(09:28):
and there's almost an identitylike pride around it too.
Jaclyn (09:31):
Not to interrupt you, but there's almost like how much
can I handle?
Like look how much I can do,yeah.
Jo (09:37):
Yeah, but that's part of the identity of I'm the superwoman.
I push through pain and this isvery much that high achiever
sort of masculine paradigm,almost like the David Goggins.
Like you can do it.
Pain is part of the process.
You know, you just got to pushthrough and you just got to work
harder.
So that's why you do hardcoreworkouts and you do because that
(09:59):
is the model of success thatwe've been shown Instead of
recognizing okay, that's, oneway to get in your body is to
feel intense pain and to sweatand to grind and to push.
But there comes a point whenthat just makes you even more
exhausted and it just feels sowrong it doesn't feel nourishing
(10:21):
enough and nourishes it'sactually just more mental
conditioning, which is, yeah,you're, it's like way excessive
mental conditioning.
Jaclyn (10:31):
There's a time and place for it, all right, like some
people actually need more mentalconditioning, for sure.
But but who we're talking aboutare people who are like no
problem, they are disciplined,they are doing all the mental
conditioning, and to the excess,yeah.
Jo (10:45):
But what I had to learn was what if, instead of treating
this body like a thing thatcarries my brain around, what if
it's got wisdom?
What if it's got intelligence?
And what if it could make mybrain better?
That was what hooked me is like, oh, you mean I've actually
been living life with one handbehind my back.
Oh well, now I'm interested.
(11:07):
You mean I can make fasterdecisions.
Okay, well, talk to me aboutthat.
You mean I can experience morejoy and I can have that come
easier without so much effort.
Okay, I, I'm listening, andthat was a lot of my journey to
have to understand for me, whatis the neuroscience behind
things like the vagal nerve andthe different systems in the
(11:29):
body?
I tend to go in throughneuroscience or science or facts
.
That's the way my brain canthen accept Okay, there's a
return.
There's a return on investmentfor me actually paying attention
to this thing called the body,not to mention, I don't know,
peace and contentment and allthese things that you can't put
a price on.
But that is usually the waymost women need to come at this.
(11:51):
Either it's from a state oftotal collapse where their body
has just screamed and they'rehorizontal and they're like, oh
dear, my body is completelybroken down.
It's now too late.
I now need to go on this veryoften painful and long repair
and restorative journey toalmost rebuild trust.
But there are others who arejust pushing, but it's more the
emptiness that feels like it'sgetting bigger and threatens to
(12:13):
swell them up.
It's not physical yet.
Jaclyn (12:18):
Yeah, yeah.
And we experience joy in ourbodies, not in our heads, like,
think about that, right, likeanything that was ever joyful,
like it's full body, laughter,or it's like the warmth that
radiates throughout your wholebody when you feel love or proud
of whatever you know, likeanything, it's a bodily
(12:42):
experience.
So it's just so funny andforget, right, yeah, it's so
important.
Jo (12:49):
It's not being modeled to us , though.
It's not being modeledparticularly in the corporate
world.
Feelings are things that get inthe way.
You are worried, as a woman,often of being pegged as too
emotional or too soft or toonurturing, because then you fall
into those stereotypes.
Yeah, patriarchy, so you likethe patriarchy, so we over index
(13:13):
the other way.
So, jacqueline, if someone'slistening to this and going, oh
my gosh, I had back pain anddidn't realize it, or I suddenly
looked up from my computer andrealized I hadn't eaten all day
because I completely overrodeany of my body signals, where do
they begin?
How do you even start thisjourney of reconnecting and
(13:34):
feeling more whole?
Jaclyn (13:37):
well, it starts with the decision to do that right.
So perhaps if you're listening,you already feel like, okay, I
am making that decision, justtell me what to do.
Okay, great.
So first, congratulations formaking that decision.
And then there's a couple ofsimple tools, like your breath.
(13:58):
Um, it's always there.
It's talked about ad nauseum,uh, as a way to experience more
calm, joy, et cetera.
Um, but you can literally justbreathe in four counts, exhale
for eight counts.
If you were just going to doone breath work exercise, that's
the one I would suggest.
When you have an extendedexhale, that will downregulate
(14:21):
your nervous system.
So it's a big bang for yourbuck there.
So if you were wanting to feelmore confident, secure, grounded
at the workplace, if you'refeeling a little overwhelmed or
overheated, literally ormetaphorically, then you can use
that extended exhale to coolyourself down and slow down that
(14:42):
nervous system.
So then you can actuallyrespond to whatever at home, the
boardroom, respond really in away that feels most true to who
you are.
You know you can.
Everyone responds more wisely.
Wisely, I guess, when, whenyour nervous system's more
(15:02):
stable.
So start with your breath.
You can also bring touch to yourbody, so like a hand on your
heart.
It's amazing.
Your hand on your heart you'retouching your fascia, so I've
been really deep diving infascia recently.
If you don't know what fasciais, it's the web kind of like
saran wrap it's described asthat encases our blood tissue
(15:25):
bones.
It's this web right below yourskin and the fascia network
actually holds all of theseimpulses of the nervous system
and stores memories, chemicalmemories of stress, emotions,
and so stress and emotions areactually stuck in your fascia
(15:47):
and in your tissues and muscles.
But so just push it.
Putting your hand on your chest, you're actually.
The simple act of touch isconnecting with the fascia
because it's so close to the topof the skin, right.
So when you do that, itimmediately sends a signal to
your body that you're safe, thatyou're supported, that you're
(16:11):
seen.
And I think most of us arecraving to feel more safe,
supported and seen in our dailylives, whether it's showing up
at work.
Am I safe here?
Am I seen here?
Am I supported here?
And if you're not feeling thatin your workplace, start with
yourself.
Are you seeing yourself, areyou supporting yourself, are you
(16:34):
safe with yourself?
And putting your hand on yourheart starts to reprogram that
possibility.
And it seems so simple, almosttoo good to be true that it's so
simple.
But talk like, literally, letyour hand talk to your fascia,
like I'm here.
It might be the first timeyou've ever put your own hand on
your body, aside from showering, or you know sexual adventures.
(16:55):
This might be the first timeyou've ever just like,
intentionally, just put yourhand with yourself, like you
would with your child.
You know, and we all know, theimportance of touch with
children, so why do we deny thatto ourselves as adults?
I know that could go on and on,but start there.
Jo (17:16):
I guess the challenge is for so many women, those solutions
are almost too simple.
Everyone's heard aboutbreathwork, and no one does it.
Everyone's heard about touch,as you mentioned, with children,
but they don't do it.
What's the objection we have?
Is it that we're looking forsolutions that seem bigger and
more grandiose?
Do we not acknowledge the powerof micro movements?
(17:37):
Or is it just we're notprepared to do something?
What's at play here?
Jaclyn (17:42):
I think when you slow down, I think it's the fear of
what I'm going to feel when Islow down.
It's unconscious, I think it's.
I don't know if it's that it'stoo simple.
I think actually a lot of womenare open to the simplicity.
Since life is so complex, right, sure, I'll take something
simple.
So I don't know if that so muchthey might discount it a little
(18:03):
bit like oh, if it's thatsimple, it can't be that good.
But I don't think it's that.
I think it's more that I don'twant to feel something that's
unconscious.
So if I do put my hand on myheart, am I going to lose my
shit?
Am I going to start crying?
Am I going to have to startfeeling how stressed I actually
am?
Am I going to have to startfeeling my autoimmune whatever
(18:25):
kicking up?
Yeah, I think that's what it is.
Jo (18:27):
So your challenge today is to stop treating your body like
an afterthought.
Breathe, touch your heart,listen.
You'll be amazed at whatbecomes possible when you
partner with your body, not justyour brain.
Thanks for joining me,jacqueline Mm-hmm, thanks for
(18:49):
joining us today on the Balanceand Beyond podcast.
We're so glad you carved outthis time for yourself.
If you enjoyed this episode,please share it with a friend
who might need to hear thistoday.
And, if you're feeling extragenerous, leaving us a review on
your podcast platform of choicewould mean the world to us.
If you're keen to dive deeperinto our world, visit
balanceinstitutecom to discovermore about the toolkit that has
(19:12):
helped thousands of women avoidburnout and create a life of
balance and beyond.
Thanks again for tuning in andwe'll see you next time on the
Balance and Beyond podcast.
Welcome to Balance and Beyond, the podcast for
ambitious women who refuse toaccept burnout as the price of
success.
Here we're committed toempowering you with the tools
and strategies you need toachieve true balance, where your
career, relationships andhealth all thrive and where you
have the power to define successon your terms.
I honor the space you'vecreated for yourself today, so
(00:25):
let's take a breath and diveright in.
If you only realize your backhurts when you lie down at night
, this episode is for youbecause your body's been
whispering all day.
You've just been too busy tolisten.
If you only realize your backhurts when you lie down at night
(00:46):
, this episode is for youbecause your body's been talking
all day long and you've beentoo busy to hear it.
Jacqueline, women are runninglife from the neck up.
What really is going on here?
Oh, boy.
Jaclyn (01:01):
So much A disembodied life, quite, literally right
Outside, living just from, likeyou said, the neck up, not
actually inhabiting their bodies.
So what does this all mean andwhy is it important?
Well, obviously the women whocome here value big lives Like
(01:26):
they're up to big things.
Right, they want to achieve bigthings, whether it's, you know,
making a big impact with theirfield, making a lot of money,
being amazing moms, wives, likepowerful women come to us right,
so they're up to something, andthe tendency for high
(01:47):
performers is to treat theirbodies as like a machine or kind
of this, like roboticrelationship, because unless you
have health issues, you can getaway with that, right.
Anyone who has health issuesthen probably has a different
relationship with their bodybecause they must, right.
(02:07):
So we're assuming that maybehealth issues aren't so much of
a thing, or maybe they are andyou're just ignoring it.
Like you said, your back ishurting or thinking you have to
live with it, but you don't feelthat until at night because
you're treating your body like amachine.
So I can't be bothered to payattention to the ache here or
(02:29):
the weird fatigue I'm noticing.
I'm noticing, but it's tooannoying to put my attention on
those annoying symptoms.
It's annoying my body isannoying.
It's a nuisance.
It's not functioning as high asI'm functioning in my mind with
my like go-getter, highachievement, like I'm going to
go conquer the world attitude,but it's so disenfranchised from
(02:53):
, like your whole being and Idon't.
I think first it's more of justa mindset shift that, like your
body wants to partner with youin creating amazing things in
the world.
Like imagine if your body justwasn't this like necessary,
(03:13):
annoying thing that you had todrag around while you're up to
your mission in the world.
Like what if you could partnerwith it so that your body
actually amplified your vision?
And I think that that is like aconsideration that might be
really powerful for women, right, like, oh, like, if my body
(03:34):
could actually amplify the bigthings I want to do in the world
, then maybe I'll pay attentionto it.
So start there.
Is there anything you want topiggyback on that, jo?
Just I just wanted to open thatas a possibility for anybody
tuning in.
Jo (03:49):
Yeah, I think we put so much value on our intelligence, on
our mental faculties, and, formany of us, it's our brains that
have got us all of our success.
We're not people who makethings with our hands or who,
you know, build things brick bybrick.
Many of us, our brains iseverything and instead of
(04:14):
thinking that, well, this bodyis just the thing that carries
around the brain, we yeah, wedon't really understand the full
power of what ecosystem ourbrain needs to function in to be
at its best, not to mention notjust the ecosystem and that
goes down to health and wellnessand cortisol and all those
(04:37):
things but also what the hell'sthe point?
I can have intelligence, I canhave capability, I can have
success.
I have success, but if I'm numb, if I'm hollow, then it's not
going to make any of it worth itin the first place.
Jaclyn (04:51):
Yeah, yeah.
So I think the women tuninginto this are already feeling
that tug, like there's thistendency to kind of, you know,
have that high achievement, thatlike passion, that drive to
achieve and achieve.
But at a certain point itstarts to feel hollow, like what
is all this for?
Am I just an amazing brain onlegs, which is cool, and it's
(05:13):
gotten me here and I do kind oflove that about myself, like
nothing wrong with it.
It's cool, like we celebratethat.
But there is a question womenare coming to us with Like is is
there more than this Cause?
This is great, but maybe maybethere's more like fulfillment,
Maybe there's more peace, maybethere's more wholeness,
(05:35):
satisfaction uh, the tendencywith women coming in with lots
of high achiever um drive issatisfaction is really fleeting
and the body is a big part ofexperiencing satisfaction.
And I think maybe people needto hear that again.
Like the body is a big part ofexperiencing satisfaction
(05:55):
because the brain won't everreally be satisfied, right,
because it's not the design.
The design is like what'spossible and what am I going to
create now, and like what's next, so great.
But when do you ever get tofeel truly fulfilled, satisfied,
at peace, more than just likefor a fleeting moment before the
next thing.
(06:16):
Um, there might be a questionyou're asking yourself.
So the body is where you'regoing to find that and the and
it's not going to take you awayfrom your brain and all of the
amazing things that it's up to.
It's actually going to amplifyit.
It's.
It's a partnership, and what Imean by that is it's and I mean
it metaphorically, but alsoliterally like the brain.
(06:36):
The brain maps with your wholenervous system, right.
Like the brain moves downthrough the spinal cord and then
the spinal cord speaks to everysingle system in your body.
The brain moves down throughthe spinal cord and then the
spinal cord speaks to everysingle system in your body.
They're completely interwoven.
We just forget they are.
If you can start payingattention to your body's needs,
(06:59):
just to start, am I tending tomy body's nourishment?
Am I feeding it?
Do I let it go to the toiletwhen?
it needs to as it resting and isit exercising in ways that
aren't depleting, because somethere's a tendency with high
achiever women to like blow outtheir adrenals, like running
marathons in their exerciseregimen alongside their other.
(07:24):
Whatever marathons,metaphorically, they're running
in life, so that's fine.
I'm not saying don't do that.
I'm saying are you also equallyrestoring and I know this is
part and part of your journey,joe are you equally restoring
and I think you should probablyspeak to that because that's so
powerful Are you equally, if notmore, spending time on
restorative work, movement inyour body, spending time with
(07:46):
recalibrating your nervoussystem and what amazingness that
allows for, then, theperformance of your body
movement or your legacy, orwhatever it is that you're up to
in the world?
Yeah, you take it from there.
That's your bag, you've donethat.
Jo (08:04):
Yeah, this has been a really big part of my journey and, as
Jacqueline said, you know I waspart of.
The reason I blew up my lifewas because it felt very hollow.
I was asking what the hell isthe point, and satisfaction was
very fleeting.
I would achieve something, andliterally I would.
As I was achieving it, I wasalready like, well, you don't
(08:24):
want to get complacent next, nowyou've got to up it, or now
you've got to.
And so there was very littleenjoyment and what I now know is
that wasn't embodied enjoyment,it was mental enjoyment and, as
you said, our brain goes got itnext, but you don't put that in
the front seat, you turn aroundand go yep, you've said next,
(08:45):
but right now I'm going to stopand smell the roses.
I'm going to actually sit inthis joy and excitement and
satisfaction and praise formyself and pride, and that takes
work.
That's a muscle that you haveto learn to build.
And I was very head focused,incredibly head focused,
completely numb, didn't evenrealize that I might've had an
(09:08):
autoimmune disease until I foundmyself in hospital.
Because that's what everybodydoes.
It gives us little whispers andthen we're too busy, we ignore
them.
No time for the doctor.
I've got a report, or it wasend of month or it was whatever.
And then it starts throwing afew more rocks and you go, oh
well, I'll get to that then.
Oh, you know, I guess I'll gosee a physio, but I just assumed
(09:28):
and there's almost an identitylike pride around it too.
Jaclyn (09:31):
Not to interrupt you, but there's almost like how much
can I handle?
Like look how much I can do,yeah.
Jo (09:37):
Yeah, but that's part of the identity of I'm the superwoman.
I push through pain and this isvery much that high achiever
sort of masculine paradigm,almost like the David Goggins.
Like you can do it.
Pain is part of the process.
You know, you just got to pushthrough and you just got to work
harder.
So that's why you do hardcoreworkouts and you do because that
(09:59):
is the model of success thatwe've been shown Instead of
recognizing okay, that's, oneway to get in your body is to
feel intense pain and to sweatand to grind and to push.
But there comes a point whenthat just makes you even more
exhausted and it just feels sowrong it doesn't feel nourishing
(10:21):
enough and nourishes it'sactually just more mental
conditioning, which is, yeah,you're, it's like way excessive
mental conditioning.
Jaclyn (10:31):
There's a time and place for it, all right, like some
people actually need more mentalconditioning, for sure.
But but who we're talking aboutare people who are like no
problem, they are disciplined,they are doing all the mental
conditioning, and to the excess,yeah.
Jo (10:45):
But what I had to learn was what if, instead of treating
this body like a thing thatcarries my brain around, what if
it's got wisdom?
What if it's got intelligence?
And what if it could make mybrain better?
That was what hooked me is like, oh, you mean I've actually
been living life with one handbehind my back.
Oh well, now I'm interested.
(11:07):
You mean I can make fasterdecisions.
Okay, well, talk to me aboutthat.
You mean I can experience morejoy and I can have that come
easier without so much effort.
Okay, I, I'm listening, andthat was a lot of my journey to
have to understand for me, whatis the neuroscience behind
things like the vagal nerve andthe different systems in the
(11:29):
body?
I tend to go in throughneuroscience or science or facts
.
That's the way my brain canthen accept Okay, there's a
return.
There's a return on investmentfor me actually paying attention
to this thing called the body,not to mention, I don't know,
peace and contentment and allthese things that you can't put
a price on.
But that is usually the waymost women need to come at this.
(11:51):
Either it's from a state oftotal collapse where their body
has just screamed and they'rehorizontal and they're like, oh
dear, my body is completelybroken down.
It's now too late.
I now need to go on this veryoften painful and long repair
and restorative journey toalmost rebuild trust.
But there are others who arejust pushing, but it's more the
emptiness that feels like it'sgetting bigger and threatens to
(12:13):
swell them up.
It's not physical yet.
Jaclyn (12:18):
Yeah, yeah.
And we experience joy in ourbodies, not in our heads, like,
think about that, right, likeanything that was ever joyful,
like it's full body, laughter,or it's like the warmth that
radiates throughout your wholebody when you feel love or proud
of whatever you know, likeanything, it's a bodily
(12:42):
experience.
So it's just so funny andforget, right, yeah, it's so
important.
Jo (12:49):
It's not being modeled to us , though.
It's not being modeledparticularly in the corporate
world.
Feelings are things that get inthe way.
You are worried, as a woman,often of being pegged as too
emotional or too soft or toonurturing, because then you fall
into those stereotypes.
Yeah, patriarchy, so you likethe patriarchy, so we over index
(13:13):
the other way.
So, jacqueline, if someone'slistening to this and going, oh
my gosh, I had back pain anddidn't realize it, or I suddenly
looked up from my computer andrealized I hadn't eaten all day
because I completely overrodeany of my body signals, where do
they begin?
How do you even start thisjourney of reconnecting and
(13:34):
feeling more whole?
Jaclyn (13:37):
well, it starts with the decision to do that right.
So perhaps if you're listening,you already feel like, okay, I
am making that decision, justtell me what to do.
Okay, great.
So first, congratulations formaking that decision.
And then there's a couple ofsimple tools, like your breath.
(13:58):
Um, it's always there.
It's talked about ad nauseum,uh, as a way to experience more
calm, joy, et cetera.
Um, but you can literally justbreathe in four counts, exhale
for eight counts.
If you were just going to doone breath work exercise, that's
the one I would suggest.
When you have an extendedexhale, that will downregulate
(14:21):
your nervous system.
So it's a big bang for yourbuck there.
So if you were wanting to feelmore confident, secure, grounded
at the workplace, if you'refeeling a little overwhelmed or
overheated, literally ormetaphorically, then you can use
that extended exhale to coolyourself down and slow down that
(14:42):
nervous system.
So then you can actuallyrespond to whatever at home, the
boardroom, respond really in away that feels most true to who
you are.
You know you can.
Everyone responds more wisely.
Wisely, I guess, when, whenyour nervous system's more
(15:02):
stable.
So start with your breath.
You can also bring touch to yourbody, so like a hand on your
heart.
It's amazing.
Your hand on your heart you'retouching your fascia, so I've
been really deep diving infascia recently.
If you don't know what fasciais, it's the web kind of like
saran wrap it's described asthat encases our blood tissue
(15:25):
bones.
It's this web right below yourskin and the fascia network
actually holds all of theseimpulses of the nervous system
and stores memories, chemicalmemories of stress, emotions,
and so stress and emotions areactually stuck in your fascia
(15:47):
and in your tissues and muscles.
But so just push it.
Putting your hand on your chest, you're actually.
The simple act of touch isconnecting with the fascia
because it's so close to the topof the skin, right.
So when you do that, itimmediately sends a signal to
your body that you're safe, thatyou're supported, that you're
(16:11):
seen.
And I think most of us arecraving to feel more safe,
supported and seen in our dailylives, whether it's showing up
at work.
Am I safe here?
Am I seen here?
Am I supported here?
And if you're not feeling thatin your workplace, start with
yourself.
Are you seeing yourself, areyou supporting yourself, are you
(16:34):
safe with yourself?
And putting your hand on yourheart starts to reprogram that
possibility.
And it seems so simple, almosttoo good to be true that it's so
simple.
But talk like, literally, letyour hand talk to your fascia,
like I'm here.
It might be the first timeyou've ever put your own hand on
your body, aside from showering, or you know sexual adventures.
(16:55):
This might be the first timeyou've ever just like,
intentionally, just put yourhand with yourself, like you
would with your child.
You know, and we all know, theimportance of touch with
children, so why do we deny thatto ourselves as adults?
I know that could go on and on,but start there.
Jo (17:16):
I guess the challenge is for so many women, those solutions
are almost too simple.
Everyone's heard aboutbreathwork, and no one does it.
Everyone's heard about touch,as you mentioned, with children,
but they don't do it.
What's the objection we have?
Is it that we're looking forsolutions that seem bigger and
more grandiose?
Do we not acknowledge the powerof micro movements?
(17:37):
Or is it just we're notprepared to do something?
What's at play here?
Jaclyn (17:42):
I think when you slow down, I think it's the fear of
what I'm going to feel when Islow down.
It's unconscious, I think it's.
I don't know if it's that it'stoo simple.
I think actually a lot of womenare open to the simplicity.
Since life is so complex, right, sure, I'll take something
simple.
So I don't know if that so muchthey might discount it a little
(18:03):
bit like oh, if it's thatsimple, it can't be that good.
But I don't think it's that.
I think it's more that I don'twant to feel something that's
unconscious.
So if I do put my hand on myheart, am I going to lose my
shit?
Am I going to start crying?
Am I going to have to startfeeling how stressed I actually
am?
Am I going to have to startfeeling my autoimmune whatever
(18:25):
kicking up?
Yeah, I think that's what it is.
Jo (18:27):
So your challenge today is to stop treating your body like
an afterthought.
Breathe, touch your heart,listen.
You'll be amazed at whatbecomes possible when you
partner with your body, not justyour brain.
Thanks for joining me,jacqueline Mm-hmm, thanks for
(18:49):
joining us today on the Balanceand Beyond podcast.
We're so glad you carved outthis time for yourself.
If you enjoyed this episode,please share it with a friend
who might need to hear thistoday.
And, if you're feeling extragenerous, leaving us a review on
your podcast platform of choicewould mean the world to us.
If you're keen to dive deeperinto our world, visit
balanceinstitutecom to discovermore about the toolkit that has
(19:12):
helped thousands of women avoidburnout and create a life of
balance and beyond.
Thanks again for tuning in andwe'll see you next time on the
Balance and Beyond podcast.
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