January 16, 2024 • 30 mins
Navigating the murky waters of midlife dating can feel like a solo voyage in uncharted territory. Chanel and I, with laughter as our compass, chart a course through the often tumultuous sea of romance after 50. Our latest Real With Love episode is a lighthouse for listeners, casting a bright beam on the complexities of seeking companionship during life's second act. We unfurl our own stories, candidly sharing the trials and triumphs of dating in a world where the once vibrant nightclub scene has given way to the serene, though sometimes dreary, landscape of modern communication.
Dating over 50 comes with a backpack of challenges, from stale suitors believing they're still 'players' to unraveling the ties of past relationships. We delve into the underbelly of dating apps, discussing how to gracefully swat away the unwanted advances that sometimes feel like an endless game of whack-a-mole. Our conversation becomes an anthem of empowerment, arming you with insights to recognize red flags and embrace the joys of solitude and self-discovery. With wisdom peppered with humor, we offer up our lived experiences as a guide for navigating the search for romance with eyes wide open and hearts guarded by self-respect.
Wrapping up this heart-to-heart, Chanel and I extend a warm invitation to our fellow over-50s to join the dialogue and share their own tales of love and life. As we bid adieu, we remind our listeners that happiness is a solo project, and finding contentment within oneself is the greatest love story of all. Tune in for a blend of real talk and laughter, and let's journey together through the intricacies of midlife romance, celebrating the days ahead with love, care, and a touch of independence.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, hello, hello everyone, and welcome to another
episode of the Real With Lovepodcast.
I'm Lav, your host, and we haveChanel, your co-host.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hi everyone, happy new year.
I hope everybody's new year isstarting off well?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yes, everyone.
So we're happy that you'vedecided to join us today here,
and today's episode is WomanOver 50 in Relationships for
2024.
So you know, woman Over 50 andRelationships for the most part,
it's for most women.
(00:38):
I think it's a challengingthing.
You know, in this day and agethat we live in, there's so much
distraction going on among usand, you know, even though we're
over 50, we're still trying towork on our own growth.
You know, in that next phase ofour life, you know what I mean.
(01:01):
So it can be challenging.
So, since you've been in your50s, how would you describe your
dating life, my dating life?
I don't really care for anydating life Because for the most
part, these men, it's like youhave another son.
They don't want to grow up.
(01:23):
You know I can't be bothered tobe.
You know like it's almost as ifyou're correcting them with
certain principles and you knowhow you see you having a healthy
relationship.
You know the communicationright, communicating, the
(01:45):
listening skills.
You know it can be very it'slike you have another child,
like you're raising.
I already raised two sons, Idon't need a third one.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Which is fair to say.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
And for me, you know, as you get to be this age, you
get to understand yourself more.
You know what you want in lifeand it's okay to be alone.
You know the lying and thegains and you know they play
with your feelings, with youremotions, and sometimes their
(02:21):
behavior can be somewhatnarcissistic, yeah, and selfish,
and selfish.
So, and mind you, I'm notsaying all men are like that,
but for the most part there's alot of them out there like that.
Right, and it's more than theones that are pretty good.
So you have more that don'twant to act, their age more than
(02:45):
the one who do you know, havethat responsibility and are
committed to theirresponsibility, right.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
So do you think the men in your age group?
Would you say that they'reimmature, or would you say that
they're still a little bitnervous to commit?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
What would you think the issue is?
I just think most of them in myage are tiring and draining,
yeah, and I don't care to reallyget to know, like to get to
know anybody to start arelationship, I kind of just.
I think I like the space thatI'm in.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Because sometimes they come and they see you by
yourself, yeah.
And when you open up your heartand your door to them, yeah.
And when they're ready to startto hurt you emotionally and
even mentally, they make surewhen they come in and they see
you happy.
They make sure when they'reexiting they leave you sad.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I agree it's like.
It's like an revenge.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yeah, so I think I am I shouldn't say I think I am
comfortable in the space thatI'm in right now.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I don't got time.
You know I still got goals setthat I'm trying to reach.
Yeah Right, I don't have timeto focus on.
Oh, is your feelings hurt?
You know?
What are you stressed out about?
Is there anything I can do tohelp?
You know, I just, I just Idon't have the energy for all of
that.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
It's fair to say.
You know, I feel like I'm thesame way too.
I don't have the energy.
Life is too short to be wastingit on wasters.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
That's what I believe .
Yeah, it's too short to bewasting it on wasters right when
you could be.
You know, if you don't respectmy time and if you don't respect
me as a woman, as a person,then you're not worth me even.
You know you would be sayinghello to me to start a
conversation.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
So I really don't have time like that.
My life that I live is verybusy lifestyle with lots of
curves and bumps along the wayand a lot of challenges and
stuff.
So I really don't need anyonewith any baggage to come and add
to my baggage.
Exactly, I have enough, exactly.
And if we cannot make one whereyou can suggest or, you know,
(05:08):
do something wonderful, then youcan just donate.
It doesn't even make any sense,just keep it moving and let me
stay in my happy space, yep.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I agree.
How would you describe yourdate?
How would you describe datingin your 20s and 30s, compared to
now?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
But would you see the big difference.
Well, when I was in my 20s and30s, you know, it was something
like I was moving towards havingsome success in my life, along
with raising three children onmy own With my beautiful mom.
Her soul, rest in peace, wasalways there, you know, as my
(05:48):
support system and loved hergrandchildren, her children,
very much.
But back then it was somewhat,I think, life, because life has
changed, like so many changes inthis era.
But then, from my experience,the men were a little bit more
(06:13):
energetic.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Their approach was somewhat how should I say?
You feel that attraction, thetalking, was more in
communicating, talking aboutlife skills and talking about
certain things and what weforesee might happen in the
future, depending on what wasgoing on at that time in that
(06:39):
era.
So sitting down and having agood conversation with a man
back then was much, much betterand much healthier than now.
Now there's hardly anycommunication really.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
There's hardly any communication, and when you do,
get down to talk, some serioustalk.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
it's like they shy away from it because they don't
know how to hold a healthyconversation.
When a woman who has ambitionand goals comes with certain
strong point and certainconversation of today, they
don't really care to hear it.
But back then everybody was inthat age where they want to
(07:23):
reach somewhere, they're workingon something.
Mind you, there's somethingthat was like a lame.
It's like every day for them isa playday.
But I've met and had friendsand met in my dating scene that
you know what it wasn't as badas now.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Would you say they were more committed?
Well, I know that.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Then some of them weren't really as committed.
But then, when you did have therelationship and it didn't work
out, we parted in a more decentfashion.
It was just different, but westill respect each other and
we're still friends.
You know, compared to now,you're cussing that person and
(08:16):
that person's cussing you out,and it's a whole different
ballgame.
But then, yeah, there wasthings, but it's just different
here now.
And the men they got older andthey think that they're the age
that they were 25 years ago.
It's like they go through thismidlife crisis where they just
don't want to grow up, right?
(08:37):
So I just think women maturefaster than men.
I really do believe that thatthey mature faster than men.
I just think men are somewhatafraid of responsibility and
being committed.
You know most of them anyways.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
How would you describe dating and in a
relationship Like, how would youdifferentiate the two?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I think dating is okay.
So I'm dating this guy, okay,we're just dating, we're going
out, we're getting to know eachother, but you're not setting
anything to say okay, we'regoing to be like, committed to
each other, we're dating to seewhere it goes, right, if it
doesn't work out, it justdoesn't work out.
You know you're going to date,you're going to see how he is,
(09:21):
his habits, how he communicateswith you and stuff like that,
and from there you know okay, Idon't like your style, so we're
going to move on, so we're not,we're not going to really date
anymore.
Just go, do you and I'll do me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Now, when it comes to relationship, you know you guys
need you start enjoying eachother's company more and more
you enjoy each other.
Relationship is more it takes,if you're, if it's, if the goal
is relationship, then it's goingto take a while before you
really you know, see certainthings and before you even start
(09:59):
really putting in.
It's just like a one step at atime thing.
But when you're dating it'slike you're just dating, you
don't really care, like I'm justdating and I like him.
He's cool, we're going to goout, but I'm not really looking
for you to come and latch on tome, sort of thing, but when the
both of you, you know, want thatrelationship, it takes more
time because now your emotionsare in it.
(10:23):
Right, your expectations are init.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Right and your communication skills.
You know having seriousconversation about what you want
or what you expect from youknow from both sides.
You know what I mean, how youfeel about each other and that
you know it's like a man wouldsay you know, I really I'm
(10:48):
really interested and I really Iwant this to work out.
You know I want us to get toknow each other more.
I want us to do things together.
That's when you know, you knowthat's trying to have.
You know, develop a serious, agood relationship.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, I feel the same way, too
Different from just dating.
I feel the same.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I've dated, I've gone out with a person maybe three
times on the third date, whileyou suck.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, forget it, I'm not going nowhere.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Next time you call me no.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
You know, that's true .
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I feel the same way, being in my 30s.
It's kind of challenging too,because of all these guys in my
generation not all, but somemajority of them they're all
players.
They don't want players.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
They don't want to commit, but you know, what.
Even in my age group they'restill.
They think they're players Liketheir game is so stale and
boring that it's like okay, likejust don't even, don't even go
any further with yourconversation.
You know, because you sound sostupid.
You know what.
You grown ass man, like you inyour 50s and you're acting like
(11:55):
you know you're in college orhigh school and you really, you
know you want to check this girlout, so you're coming with your
stupid lame talk.
You know what I mean.
Like you're grown Right.
You know what I'm saying.
You know what I'm saying.
So I don't go for that.
As soon as I see the commentacting like that, I just I just
back away.
(12:16):
Sometimes I've had guys thatcomes up to me like grown ass
men, you know in my age groupand hi, you know you feel so
familiar.
I don't even answer, I justkeep walking.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, because they don't keep some game to you.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, I just keep walking.
Or when they start saying hi,how are you Okay, I'm not
ignorant like that I would sayhello, you know, and how are you
, I'm good on yourself, good.
Then when they go further thanthat, now, no, I said okay, here
it comes, you know.
He starts to strike up aconversation about all so you're
married?
And then, of course, the answeris yes, because I'm not
(12:51):
interested.
You know what I mean.
Or sometimes, look at it.
What makes you think that Iwould be interested in you?
Yeah, you know what I mean.
You're probably on childsupport or some you know having
a difficult time and you're justlooking somebody to dump on.
So I just you know, when itcomes to us in this age, we want
to be content, we want ourpeace, we want our respect,
(13:16):
right, and we love to be in ourspace.
As you get to this age, youdon't care if you are alone,
Like you're not married and thisand that, because a lot of
people out there they havehusbands and they're going
through hell, right, and so youknow you have some women they
don't like to be, they can'thandle being alone.
(13:36):
It's something that they justcan't handle.
So what they do?
They date and they date andthey date and they date till,
you know, nothing really comesout of it.
Some, maybe something comes outof it down the line, All of a
sudden they break up becausethey're so eager to have that
somebody in their life, right,but not all women are the same.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
That is true.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I just I like my little happy space, no matter if
I'm stressed out or things arebothering me things are not
going that well at that moment Istill love my space, my quiet
space.
I feel the same, you know.
So I mean, you guys are youngand of course you know you have
(14:19):
somebody in your life and stufflike that.
But us mothers and us women, 50and over, you know, for the
most part we don't really care,at least from who are the people
that I've talked to, the womenthat I've spoken to and had good
converse, conversation with Igot the cups, got good
conversation with they don'tcare.
(14:41):
Yeah, it's just all about them.
Right, it's all about me and mygrowth and my self care, self
love.
That's what it's about.
No more coming in cooking and Iknow honey, I'm not into that.
Call me honey and cook for meand give me something.
I'm not going back there again.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You know I feel the same.
Um, what challenges do you findwith women who are 50 and up
who want to date Like?
What are the challenges thatyou?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
think that they face all the time.
You mean like if you are, like,if you want to date, yeah the
book challenges.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Do you find that women who are 50, when they run
to men and those are the womenwho want to date what challenges
do you think that they facewith?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
the men that they come across.
Sometimes the men they lie andsay they're not really married
or they're separated from theirwife.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Right.
Or they broke up, but they'restill sleeping with their wife
or their girlfriend, theirex-girlfriend, Right.
Sometimes they're going througha hell of a lot with child
support and court, you know.
Or they just want to just date,tell you what you want to hear
and, um, but what they'retelling you it doesn't match
(16:02):
their actions, Right, Right andeverything.
They don't want to answer thephone, you know, or they have
you on do not disturb stuff likethat but they still want to
fight, to go ahead to say youknow, I really want to meet
somebody.
Yeah, Right, and I spoke to.
She's not my like close friendor anything, it's just an
acquaintance.
(16:22):
And she goes on these, these,these dating app and I'm saying
you want?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
dating apps.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
You know, and it's like dating apps you don't even
know if you're going tosociopath or psychopath.
Right, that's how desperate youare to have somebody in your
life.
Dating apps, you know.
And she's met a couple a coupleof times.
I think there was one where heonly showed.
She always wondered how comehe's only showing like from his
(16:49):
head to his chest, but she cannever see him full, right, she
can never see him full, full onthis whole body.
And, um, he was crippled andthey went on their first date
and she met him.
Oh my gosh, yeah.
So he says that's why?
Because most time when he showseverything, they just they
(17:11):
blank out, they don't reallywant to to go out or anything,
they cancel it or whatever.
So this time that he didn'treally want to say anything,
right, yeah.
And she said he was a reallynice guy, but he has, he has a
disability.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Right.
So, um, that didn't work out.
And then there was another onewhere when she met him, it's
like it's the face, but when shemet him it was.
He was like 400 pounds.
Okay Right, not that yourbody's changing anybody, but she
wasn't expecting that and hewas trying to lose the weight.
(17:48):
Then he started to become.
She decided to give this one alittle chance, you know, and
he's trying, but then he startedto become really overly
possessive.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Oh, that's such a rich flag right there, right
yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
And you don't need that.
You know that's a rich flagright there Because he's already
insecure.
That's why he's so overlypossessive.
Yeah right, if he calls and hedoesn't get on the first ring,
it's like he's wondering whatare you doing?
Where were you are coming in?
Tell me you're going there,this, that, that.
So I said because he's insecure.
So, that's not going to work out.
He's already insecure of hisbody, his weight Right and
(18:21):
probably can't get a good dateuntil when you know he's you're
trying with him.
So now he's all excited,thinking that things you got to
be, I told you, you got to becareful with all that.
That's a red flag for me rightthere.
I mean, even if you'reoverweight, it's okay, you're
working on losing weight,nothing is wrong with that.
But what comes with thatbehavior is you.
He's stifling you, like that'stoo literally.
(18:43):
So I said, these dating appsand these things, some of these
people have emotional problems.
So I think so those are some ofthe stuff that Women in my age
you know they've well.
Of course, I've met this woman,like you know, we're just
acquaintances, we're talking andum that.
Those are the challenges andshe was telling me about.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, I'm not into that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Do you think you've met any challenges Me?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
No, because I'm not looking.
Yeah, I'm not really looking.
Yeah, I'm not looking at all.
I remember at one point I wasin the mall in the sky we're in
the same store and it was, itwas winners or whatever marshals
or home since whichever one andyou know, I'm in the aisle and
he comes over and he's looking,say hello and I smile, said
(19:33):
hello and he goes oh, you have abeautiful smile, I go.
Thank you then from there.
So Did you want to go out on adate?
Just like that, random, justlike that?
I said, um, no, not even to thepark to watch the stars, said I
don't do parks and I don'twatch stars.
Then he switched off and hesays okay, how about we go
(19:55):
hiking?
I said I don't hike, for themost part black woman.
We don't hike, we don't do thecamping thing.
No, okay.
Majority, we don't do that, thenthat didn't work.
Then he goes okay, how aboutJust going from a night walk,
just a night walk, just to walkand just to talk?
(20:15):
Said I don't do night walks, Idon't do camping.
He goes the movies.
I said I sleep at movies.
I sleep at movies, I fallasleep, so I don't do that
either.
And he kind of looked at melike you bitch, like you know.
I mean, well, I guess you don'tdo anything at all.
I said no, I don't.
And then I turned to him no, no, I freaked the script.
I said so are you married?
(20:37):
He goes home me.
No, no, no, no, I'm a JamesBond kind of guy.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I said oh, You're James Bond kind of guy.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I said okay, well you have yourself a lovely day.
Yeah, so you know, and he was ayounger guy too, geez, you know
he's complimenting me of a nicesmile, you look nice and and I
said thank you, like I'm notthat kind of ignorant.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah, kind of behavior.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Oh, no, I don't do those things.
I say thank you and stuff likethat Kind of weird though, but
you asking me just come outrandomly like that.
That's weird.
Yeah, I mean that's weird, youknow, and I'm like, okay, so
those are the things that I findit's very irritating.
Yeah, very especially those onesthat comes over to you oh, you
look beautiful.
(21:24):
I said yeah.
I said yeah, thanks.
And then he'll say, okay, um,my name is so, and so you know,
would you like to go to dinnersometime?
I told him no, I'm married.
Yeah, he goes so she's just onesthat you're not interested in
or you're not trying to do soyou should see this guy, I go, I
go, oh, he goes to me.
Oh, okay, okay, sorry aboutthat.
I said, no, it's no, worries,it's fine.
(21:45):
Oh my gosh.
So these are the things whereyou know right off the bat, you
can tell that you are just, youare one of those waste man.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
So that's good to see.
Yeah so I'm very comfortable inmy space.
That's for good to see.
Yeah, very comfortable.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
So um.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Do you in the future?
Do you want to date?
No, you know, I don't want todate at all.
I just want to enjoy my lifeand do some traveling and you
know, like how we want to goaway soon again and, you know,
enjoy my grandkids and stufflike that and enjoy, you know,
do work on my goals of what Isee myself In the near, near,
(22:31):
near future.
You know what I mean, right?
Um, that's pretty much it.
I cannot, I don't have theenergy.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I don't have the energy.
You know, you hear women.
They say, oh, if I get it, I,he has to have a lot of money
and he has to have this and hehas that.
That's.
That's not my, my, my issue.
I don't go off looking like if I, if I would want a relationship
, to say he has to have a lot ofmoney and he has to have a big
house and he has to this, andthat you go with a man, have a
(23:02):
lot of money.
You think that man has a lot ofmoney, is gonna give you his
money, like that.
No, you think he's gonna takeup all his money and just say,
here, you know you want a manwith a big house.
Why don't you get your own bighouse?
I have my own house, right,it's true.
So why am I looking, you know?
Oh, because you know that way,you know, you can probably go
live with him in this big house.
(23:23):
I don't.
I don't have time to bethinking Stuff like that.
Of course, if you meet a guy andhe's a very respectable man and
he's, he's wealthy, let's callit that.
Yeah, and he likes to be kind,yeah, that's fine.
That's different.
But I'm not going out there totalk about, oh, he has to be
rich and he has to be this andhe has to be that Right, if a
(23:43):
man's working hard and nine tofive or whatever, and he has his
goals and his ambitions, I'mgood with that, I'm good with
that.
As for to say, you know, butI'm not looking that you got to
be rich, you know, for me, todate, you, you gotta have that
little mansion going, you gottahave business, business.
What do you think you thinkyou're gonna get any of that?
You're not gonna get any ofthat.
(24:04):
You know, for the most part,men, when they have their money,
they're like when they'rewealthy, they're not stupid with
their money when it comes torelationships.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
No, they're not to his denies.
Okay, they're not.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
You're not at all and it's just vice versa.
Ain't no man gonna come and putclaim on our home, you know,
and stuff like that or anything,that I've worked hard and you
worked hard for our to for tocome in here and claim yeah, no,
claiming going on.
So I don't go for all of that.
When I hear women talk about ohyes, that money has to be rich,
(24:38):
he has to be this, he has to bethat right, because some of
these men that have a lot ofmoney, they're the most corrupt.
Yeah and you got to adapt totheir nasty lifestyle.
Okay, exactly, you want to jumpinto their bandwagon.
You better follow everythingthat they want you to do.
You better, you know you betterbow down, because that's what
they're gonna expect, because alot of these men, when they have
(25:00):
their money, their money, iswhat they praise.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Okay, take all the love out of it, take all the
affection out of it.
It's all about the money.
It's all about the money,that's it.
They're married to their money,they're not married to you.
Once they start making thosebig dollar signs, you are
secondary.
Once they're working towardsthat dollar dollar sign, yeah,
(25:24):
you're there first becauseyou're helping them to move up
there.
Once they're there, now youbecome secondary.
So I don't look for no man toTo to give me anything.
I don't look for no man to giveme anything.
I don't look for no man to showme no gifts.
I don't look for all of that,but I look for no man is quality
.
Yeah and his honesty.
Yeah and it's hard work.
(25:45):
You know his mannerism, youknow, I think that's, those are
the cause of all.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Those qualities are very important.
Those are the quality, thoseare the qualities, right.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
So aside from all this money business, they say,
the fool and his money shallsurely part, and that is true,
right.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
So I Don't chase what advice would you give young
women like myself in terms ofdating as we get older?
Well, I would you give us.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
I mean you all are young still and I mean, you know
, you guys are the age where,yeah, you have your special
someone and I just say, you takeit one day at a time.
If it's something serious,you're looking forward to Every
nothing.
That is nothing.
Anything that you're workingtowards Does not come easy, and
(26:45):
that includes relationships.
It takes time to build, becauseyou got to take time to build
the trust, Right, yeah, it takestime to build and you're gonna
learn to understand each other.
You got to know what's going onin order to respond correctly.
If you give me, if you'regiving me, somewhat of a
(27:14):
behavior, as if you don't wantto communicate with me, then I'm
gonna respond to that.
Yeah and it's not gonna be apositive response Right Now.
If you communicate with me andtalk to me and Explain to me
even 50%, Right, Because youknow nobody.
(27:37):
You don't have to tell theperson 100%, but you can tell
them enough for them tounderstand.
That shows me that you care howI feel, right, because you must
can hold something to yourself.
You know what I'm saying.
And men are sensitive, right?
If a man is opening up to youand he's opening up to you in a
(27:59):
way enough for you to understandwhat's going on, it's different
from when he doesn't want toopen up to you and he's only
calling at you when he feelslike it.
Well, I'm going to respond,right?
It's like a thing you play themusic and I'm going to dance to
it.
So if your behavior is negative, then I'm going to push back
(28:19):
Until it's like you know whatthis ain't working out.
So all of that is like it'slike a big umbrella, right.
So relationship, you know yougot the trust.
Communication, affection,emotion, your mannerism, respect
, you know trust All of that,under that umbrella, is working
(28:45):
towards developing a goodrelationship.
That's pucks, I agree, andsometimes you think, okay, this
is just not, and you know, withtime you see that it just
flourish because there was timeand there was patience and there
was understanding on adifferent level.
Right, but you don't want touse that time for to stretch out
(29:09):
because you want things to, youknow, move forward where you
know UK we were at this stage ofit you know you want to have a
child, you know stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I agree Right To all our listeners and followers what
do you guys think?
Tell us your opinion.
So all the listeners who are 50and over.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah, ladies.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
How was your dating lifestyle?
How was your dating life?
Any challenges you guys haverun into?
Tell us, send us an email, sendus a message, let us know.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, so that's all for now, everyone, and we thank
you so much for joining us fromBe Real With Laugh podcast.
Don't forget to check out ourYouTube, our YouTube page at Be
Real With Laugh, and ourInstagram and Facebook.
And so it's the end of ourepisode.
Thank you again.
(30:07):
You guys, take good care andhave yourself a wonderful week.
Take care, everyone.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Take care, have a blessed day Love.
Well, hello, hello everyone, and welcome to another
episode of the Real With Lovepodcast.
I'm Lav, your host, and we haveChanel, your co-host.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Hi everyone, happy new year.
I hope everybody's new year isstarting off well?
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Yes, everyone.
So we're happy that you'vedecided to join us today here,
and today's episode is WomanOver 50 in Relationships for
2024.
So you know, woman Over 50 andRelationships for the most part,
it's for most women.
(00:38):
I think it's a challengingthing.
You know, in this day and agethat we live in, there's so much
distraction going on among usand, you know, even though we're
over 50, we're still trying towork on our own growth.
You know, in that next phase ofour life, you know what I mean.
(01:01):
So it can be challenging.
So, since you've been in your50s, how would you describe your
dating life, my dating life?
I don't really care for anydating life Because for the most
part, these men, it's like youhave another son.
They don't want to grow up.
(01:23):
You know I can't be bothered tobe.
You know like it's almost as ifyou're correcting them with
certain principles and you knowhow you see you having a healthy
relationship.
You know the communicationright, communicating, the
(01:45):
listening skills.
You know it can be very it'slike you have another child,
like you're raising.
I already raised two sons, Idon't need a third one.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Which is fair to say.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
And for me, you know, as you get to be this age, you
get to understand yourself more.
You know what you want in lifeand it's okay to be alone.
You know the lying and thegains and you know they play
with your feelings, with youremotions, and sometimes their
(02:21):
behavior can be somewhatnarcissistic, yeah, and selfish,
and selfish.
So, and mind you, I'm notsaying all men are like that,
but for the most part there's alot of them out there like that.
Right, and it's more than theones that are pretty good.
So you have more that don'twant to act, their age more than
(02:45):
the one who do you know, havethat responsibility and are
committed to theirresponsibility, right.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Right.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
So do you think the men in your age group?
Would you say that they'reimmature, or would you say that
they're still a little bitnervous to commit?
Speaker 1 (03:06):
What would you think the issue is?
I just think most of them in myage are tiring and draining,
yeah, and I don't care to reallyget to know, like to get to
know anybody to start arelationship, I kind of just.
I think I like the space thatI'm in.
Speaker 2 (03:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Because sometimes they come and they see you by
yourself, yeah.
And when you open up your heartand your door to them, yeah.
And when they're ready to startto hurt you emotionally and
even mentally, they make surewhen they come in and they see
you happy.
They make sure when they'reexiting they leave you sad.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
I agree it's like.
It's like an revenge.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Yeah, so I think I am I shouldn't say I think I am
comfortable in the space thatI'm in right now.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
I don't got time.
You know I still got goals setthat I'm trying to reach.
Yeah Right, I don't have timeto focus on.
Oh, is your feelings hurt?
You know?
What are you stressed out about?
Is there anything I can do tohelp?
You know, I just, I just Idon't have the energy for all of
that.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
It's fair to say.
You know, I feel like I'm thesame way too.
I don't have the energy.
Life is too short to be wastingit on wasters.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
That's what I believe .
Yeah, it's too short to bewasting it on wasters right when
you could be.
You know, if you don't respectmy time and if you don't respect
me as a woman, as a person,then you're not worth me even.
You know you would be sayinghello to me to start a
conversation.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
So I really don't have time like that.
My life that I live is verybusy lifestyle with lots of
curves and bumps along the wayand a lot of challenges and
stuff.
So I really don't need anyonewith any baggage to come and add
to my baggage.
Exactly, I have enough, exactly.
And if we cannot make one whereyou can suggest or, you know,
(05:08):
do something wonderful, then youcan just donate.
It doesn't even make any sense,just keep it moving and let me
stay in my happy space, yep.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I agree.
How would you describe yourdate?
How would you describe datingin your 20s and 30s, compared to
now?
Speaker 1 (05:25):
But would you see the big difference.
Well, when I was in my 20s and30s, you know, it was something
like I was moving towards havingsome success in my life, along
with raising three children onmy own With my beautiful mom.
Her soul, rest in peace, wasalways there, you know, as my
(05:48):
support system and loved hergrandchildren, her children,
very much.
But back then it was somewhat,I think, life, because life has
changed, like so many changes inthis era.
But then, from my experience,the men were a little bit more
(06:13):
energetic.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Their approach was somewhat how should I say?
You feel that attraction, thetalking, was more in
communicating, talking aboutlife skills and talking about
certain things and what weforesee might happen in the
future, depending on what wasgoing on at that time in that
(06:39):
era.
So sitting down and having agood conversation with a man
back then was much, much betterand much healthier than now.
Now there's hardly anycommunication really.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
There's hardly any communication, and when you do,
get down to talk, some serioustalk.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
it's like they shy away from it because they don't
know how to hold a healthyconversation.
When a woman who has ambitionand goals comes with certain
strong point and certainconversation of today, they
don't really care to hear it.
But back then everybody was inthat age where they want to
(07:23):
reach somewhere, they're workingon something.
Mind you, there's somethingthat was like a lame.
It's like every day for them isa playday.
But I've met and had friendsand met in my dating scene that
you know what it wasn't as badas now.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Would you say they were more committed?
Well, I know that.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Then some of them weren't really as committed.
But then, when you did have therelationship and it didn't work
out, we parted in a more decentfashion.
It was just different, but westill respect each other and
we're still friends.
You know, compared to now,you're cussing that person and
(08:16):
that person's cussing you out,and it's a whole different
ballgame.
But then, yeah, there wasthings, but it's just different
here now.
And the men they got older andthey think that they're the age
that they were 25 years ago.
It's like they go through thismidlife crisis where they just
don't want to grow up, right?
(08:37):
So I just think women maturefaster than men.
I really do believe that thatthey mature faster than men.
I just think men are somewhatafraid of responsibility and
being committed.
You know most of them anyways.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
How would you describe dating and in a
relationship Like, how would youdifferentiate the two?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
I think dating is okay.
So I'm dating this guy, okay,we're just dating, we're going
out, we're getting to know eachother, but you're not setting
anything to say okay, we'regoing to be like, committed to
each other, we're dating to seewhere it goes, right, if it
doesn't work out, it justdoesn't work out.
You know you're going to date,you're going to see how he is,
(09:21):
his habits, how he communicateswith you and stuff like that,
and from there you know okay, Idon't like your style, so we're
going to move on, so we're not,we're not going to really date
anymore.
Just go, do you and I'll do me.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Now, when it comes to relationship, you know you guys
need you start enjoying eachother's company more and more
you enjoy each other.
Relationship is more it takes,if you're, if it's, if the goal
is relationship, then it's goingto take a while before you
really you know, see certainthings and before you even start
(09:59):
really putting in.
It's just like a one step at atime thing.
But when you're dating it'slike you're just dating, you
don't really care, like I'm justdating and I like him.
He's cool, we're going to goout, but I'm not really looking
for you to come and latch on tome, sort of thing, but when the
both of you, you know, want thatrelationship, it takes more
time because now your emotionsare in it.
(10:23):
Right, your expectations are init.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Right and your communication skills.
You know having seriousconversation about what you want
or what you expect from youknow from both sides.
You know what I mean, how youfeel about each other and that
you know it's like a man wouldsay you know, I really I'm
(10:48):
really interested and I really Iwant this to work out.
You know I want us to get toknow each other more.
I want us to do things together.
That's when you know, you knowthat's trying to have.
You know, develop a serious, agood relationship.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Yeah, yeah, I agree, I feel the same way, too
Different from just dating.
I feel the same.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
I've dated, I've gone out with a person maybe three
times on the third date, whileyou suck.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Yeah, forget it, I'm not going nowhere.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
Next time you call me no.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
You know, that's true .
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
I feel the same way, being in my 30s.
It's kind of challenging too,because of all these guys in my
generation not all, but somemajority of them they're all
players.
They don't want players.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
They don't want to commit, but you know, what.
Even in my age group they'restill.
They think they're players Liketheir game is so stale and
boring that it's like okay, likejust don't even, don't even go
any further with yourconversation.
You know, because you sound sostupid.
You know what.
You grown ass man, like you inyour 50s and you're acting like
(11:55):
you know you're in college orhigh school and you really, you
know you want to check this girlout, so you're coming with your
stupid lame talk.
You know what I mean.
Like you're grown Right.
You know what I'm saying.
You know what I'm saying.
So I don't go for that.
As soon as I see the commentacting like that, I just I just
back away.
(12:16):
Sometimes I've had guys thatcomes up to me like grown ass
men, you know in my age groupand hi, you know you feel so
familiar.
I don't even answer, I justkeep walking.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, because they don't keep some game to you.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, I just keep walking.
Or when they start saying hi,how are you Okay, I'm not
ignorant like that I would sayhello, you know, and how are you
, I'm good on yourself, good.
Then when they go further thanthat, now, no, I said okay, here
it comes, you know.
He starts to strike up aconversation about all so you're
married?
And then, of course, the answeris yes, because I'm not
(12:51):
interested.
You know what I mean.
Or sometimes, look at it.
What makes you think that Iwould be interested in you?
Yeah, you know what I mean.
You're probably on childsupport or some you know having
a difficult time and you're justlooking somebody to dump on.
So I just you know, when itcomes to us in this age, we want
to be content, we want ourpeace, we want our respect,
(13:16):
right, and we love to be in ourspace.
As you get to this age, youdon't care if you are alone,
Like you're not married and thisand that, because a lot of
people out there they havehusbands and they're going
through hell, right, and so youknow you have some women they
don't like to be, they can'thandle being alone.
(13:36):
It's something that they justcan't handle.
So what they do?
They date and they date andthey date and they date till,
you know, nothing really comesout of it.
Some, maybe something comes outof it down the line, All of a
sudden they break up becausethey're so eager to have that
somebody in their life, right,but not all women are the same.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
That is true.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
I just I like my little happy space, no matter if
I'm stressed out or things arebothering me things are not
going that well at that moment Istill love my space, my quiet
space.
I feel the same, you know.
So I mean, you guys are youngand of course you know you have
(14:19):
somebody in your life and stufflike that.
But us mothers and us women, 50and over, you know, for the
most part we don't really care,at least from who are the people
that I've talked to, the womenthat I've spoken to and had good
converse, conversation with Igot the cups, got good
conversation with they don'tcare.
(14:41):
Yeah, it's just all about them.
Right, it's all about me and mygrowth and my self care, self
love.
That's what it's about.
No more coming in cooking and Iknow honey, I'm not into that.
Call me honey and cook for meand give me something.
I'm not going back there again.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
You know I feel the same.
Um, what challenges do you findwith women who are 50 and up
who want to date Like?
What are the challenges thatyou?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
think that they face all the time.
You mean like if you are, like,if you want to date, yeah the
book challenges.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Do you find that women who are 50, when they run
to men and those are the womenwho want to date what challenges
do you think that they facewith?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
the men that they come across.
Sometimes the men they lie andsay they're not really married
or they're separated from theirwife.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Right.
Or they broke up, but they'restill sleeping with their wife
or their girlfriend, theirex-girlfriend, Right.
Sometimes they're going througha hell of a lot with child
support and court, you know.
Or they just want to just date,tell you what you want to hear
and, um, but what they'retelling you it doesn't match
(16:02):
their actions, Right, Right andeverything.
They don't want to answer thephone, you know, or they have
you on do not disturb stuff likethat but they still want to
fight, to go ahead to say youknow, I really want to meet
somebody.
Yeah, Right, and I spoke to.
She's not my like close friendor anything, it's just an
acquaintance.
(16:22):
And she goes on these, these,these dating app and I'm saying
you want?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
dating apps.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
You know, and it's like dating apps you don't even
know if you're going tosociopath or psychopath.
Right, that's how desperate youare to have somebody in your
life.
Dating apps, you know.
And she's met a couple a coupleof times.
I think there was one where heonly showed.
She always wondered how comehe's only showing like from his
(16:49):
head to his chest, but she cannever see him full, right, she
can never see him full, full onthis whole body.
And, um, he was crippled andthey went on their first date
and she met him.
Oh my gosh, yeah.
So he says that's why?
Because most time when he showseverything, they just they
(17:11):
blank out, they don't reallywant to to go out or anything,
they cancel it or whatever.
So this time that he didn'treally want to say anything,
right, yeah.
And she said he was a reallynice guy, but he has, he has a
disability.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Right.
So, um, that didn't work out.
And then there was another onewhere when she met him, it's
like it's the face, but when shemet him it was.
He was like 400 pounds.
Okay Right, not that yourbody's changing anybody, but she
wasn't expecting that and hewas trying to lose the weight.
(17:48):
Then he started to become.
She decided to give this one alittle chance, you know, and
he's trying, but then he startedto become really overly
possessive.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Oh, that's such a rich flag right there, right
yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
And you don't need that.
You know that's a rich flagright there Because he's already
insecure.
That's why he's so overlypossessive.
Yeah right, if he calls and hedoesn't get on the first ring,
it's like he's wondering whatare you doing?
Where were you are coming in?
Tell me you're going there,this, that, that.
So I said because he's insecure.
So, that's not going to work out.
He's already insecure of hisbody, his weight Right and
(18:21):
probably can't get a good dateuntil when you know he's you're
trying with him.
So now he's all excited,thinking that things you got to
be, I told you, you got to becareful with all that.
That's a red flag for me rightthere.
I mean, even if you'reoverweight, it's okay, you're
working on losing weight,nothing is wrong with that.
But what comes with thatbehavior is you.
He's stifling you, like that'stoo literally.
(18:43):
So I said, these dating appsand these things, some of these
people have emotional problems.
So I think so those are some ofthe stuff that Women in my age
you know they've well.
Of course, I've met this woman,like you know, we're just
acquaintances, we're talking andum that.
Those are the challenges andshe was telling me about.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, I'm not into that.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Do you think you've met any challenges Me?
Speaker 1 (19:10):
No, because I'm not looking.
Yeah, I'm not really looking.
Yeah, I'm not looking at all.
I remember at one point I wasin the mall in the sky we're in
the same store and it was, itwas winners or whatever marshals
or home since whichever one andyou know, I'm in the aisle and
he comes over and he's looking,say hello and I smile, said
(19:33):
hello and he goes oh, you have abeautiful smile, I go.
Thank you then from there.
So Did you want to go out on adate?
Just like that, random, justlike that?
I said, um, no, not even to thepark to watch the stars, said I
don't do parks and I don'twatch stars.
Then he switched off and hesays okay, how about we go
(19:55):
hiking?
I said I don't hike, for themost part black woman.
We don't hike, we don't do thecamping thing.
No, okay.
Majority, we don't do that, thenthat didn't work.
Then he goes okay, how aboutJust going from a night walk,
just a night walk, just to walkand just to talk?
(20:15):
Said I don't do night walks, Idon't do camping.
He goes the movies.
I said I sleep at movies.
I sleep at movies, I fallasleep, so I don't do that
either.
And he kind of looked at melike you bitch, like you know.
I mean, well, I guess you don'tdo anything at all.
I said no, I don't.
And then I turned to him no, no, I freaked the script.
I said so are you married?
(20:37):
He goes home me.
No, no, no, no, I'm a JamesBond kind of guy.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
I said oh, You're James Bond kind of guy.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I said okay, well you have yourself a lovely day.
Yeah, so you know, and he was ayounger guy too, geez, you know
he's complimenting me of a nicesmile, you look nice and and I
said thank you, like I'm notthat kind of ignorant.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah, kind of behavior.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Oh, no, I don't do those things.
I say thank you and stuff likethat Kind of weird though, but
you asking me just come outrandomly like that.
That's weird.
Yeah, I mean that's weird, youknow, and I'm like, okay, so
those are the things that I findit's very irritating.
Yeah, very especially those onesthat comes over to you oh, you
look beautiful.
(21:24):
I said yeah.
I said yeah, thanks.
And then he'll say, okay, um,my name is so, and so you know,
would you like to go to dinnersometime?
I told him no, I'm married.
Yeah, he goes so she's just onesthat you're not interested in
or you're not trying to do soyou should see this guy, I go, I
go, oh, he goes to me.
Oh, okay, okay, sorry aboutthat.
I said, no, it's no, worries,it's fine.
(21:45):
Oh my gosh.
So these are the things whereyou know right off the bat, you
can tell that you are just, youare one of those waste man.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
So that's good to see.
Yeah so I'm very comfortable inmy space.
That's for good to see.
Yeah, very comfortable.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
So um.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Do you in the future?
Do you want to date?
No, you know, I don't want todate at all.
I just want to enjoy my lifeand do some traveling and you
know, like how we want to goaway soon again and, you know,
enjoy my grandkids and stufflike that and enjoy, you know,
do work on my goals of what Isee myself In the near, near,
(22:31):
near future.
You know what I mean, right?
Um, that's pretty much it.
I cannot, I don't have theenergy.
Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
I don't have the energy.
You know, you hear women.
They say, oh, if I get it, I,he has to have a lot of money
and he has to have this and hehas that.
That's.
That's not my, my, my issue.
I don't go off looking like if I, if I would want a relationship
, to say he has to have a lot ofmoney and he has to have a big
house and he has to this, andthat you go with a man, have a
(23:02):
lot of money.
You think that man has a lot ofmoney, is gonna give you his
money, like that.
No, you think he's gonna takeup all his money and just say,
here, you know you want a manwith a big house.
Why don't you get your own bighouse?
I have my own house, right,it's true.
So why am I looking, you know?
Oh, because you know that way,you know, you can probably go
live with him in this big house.
(23:23):
I don't.
I don't have time to bethinking Stuff like that.
Of course, if you meet a guy andhe's a very respectable man and
he's, he's wealthy, let's callit that.
Yeah, and he likes to be kind,yeah, that's fine.
That's different.
But I'm not going out there totalk about, oh, he has to be
rich and he has to be this andhe has to be that Right, if a
(23:43):
man's working hard and nine tofive or whatever, and he has his
goals and his ambitions, I'mgood with that, I'm good with
that.
As for to say, you know, butI'm not looking that you got to
be rich, you know, for me, todate, you, you gotta have that
little mansion going, you gottahave business, business.
What do you think you thinkyou're gonna get any of that?
You're not gonna get any ofthat.
(24:04):
You know, for the most part,men, when they have their money,
they're like when they'rewealthy, they're not stupid with
their money when it comes torelationships.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
No, they're not to his denies.
Okay, they're not.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
You're not at all and it's just vice versa.
Ain't no man gonna come and putclaim on our home, you know,
and stuff like that or anything,that I've worked hard and you
worked hard for our to for tocome in here and claim yeah, no,
claiming going on.
So I don't go for all of that.
When I hear women talk about ohyes, that money has to be rich,
(24:38):
he has to be this, he has to bethat right, because some of
these men that have a lot ofmoney, they're the most corrupt.
Yeah and you got to adapt totheir nasty lifestyle.
Okay, exactly, you want to jumpinto their bandwagon.
You better follow everythingthat they want you to do.
You better, you know you betterbow down, because that's what
they're gonna expect, because alot of these men, when they have
(25:00):
their money, their money, iswhat they praise.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Okay, take all the love out of it, take all the
affection out of it.
It's all about the money.
It's all about the money,that's it.
They're married to their money,they're not married to you.
Once they start making thosebig dollar signs, you are
secondary.
Once they're working towardsthat dollar dollar sign, yeah,
(25:24):
you're there first becauseyou're helping them to move up
there.
Once they're there, now youbecome secondary.
So I don't look for no man toTo to give me anything.
I don't look for no man to giveme anything.
I don't look for no man to showme no gifts.
I don't look for all of that,but I look for no man is quality
.
Yeah and his honesty.
Yeah and it's hard work.
(25:45):
You know his mannerism, youknow, I think that's, those are
the cause of all.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Those qualities are very important.
Those are the quality, thoseare the qualities, right.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
So aside from all this money business, they say,
the fool and his money shallsurely part, and that is true,
right.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
So I Don't chase what advice would you give young
women like myself in terms ofdating as we get older?
Well, I would you give us.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
I mean you all are young still and I mean, you know
, you guys are the age where,yeah, you have your special
someone and I just say, you takeit one day at a time.
If it's something serious,you're looking forward to Every
nothing.
That is nothing.
Anything that you're workingtowards Does not come easy, and
(26:45):
that includes relationships.
It takes time to build, becauseyou got to take time to build
the trust, Right, yeah, it takestime to build and you're gonna
learn to understand each other.
You got to know what's going onin order to respond correctly.
If you give me, if you'regiving me, somewhat of a
(27:14):
behavior, as if you don't wantto communicate with me, then I'm
gonna respond to that.
Yeah and it's not gonna be apositive response Right Now.
If you communicate with me andtalk to me and Explain to me
even 50%, Right, Because youknow nobody.
(27:37):
You don't have to tell theperson 100%, but you can tell
them enough for them tounderstand.
That shows me that you care howI feel, right, because you must
can hold something to yourself.
You know what I'm saying.
And men are sensitive, right?
If a man is opening up to youand he's opening up to you in a
(27:59):
way enough for you to understandwhat's going on, it's different
from when he doesn't want toopen up to you and he's only
calling at you when he feelslike it.
Well, I'm going to respond,right?
It's like a thing you play themusic and I'm going to dance to
it.
So if your behavior is negative, then I'm going to push back
(28:19):
Until it's like you know whatthis ain't working out.
So all of that is like it'slike a big umbrella, right.
So relationship, you know yougot the trust.
Communication, affection,emotion, your mannerism, respect
, you know trust All of that,under that umbrella, is working
(28:45):
towards developing a goodrelationship.
That's pucks, I agree, andsometimes you think, okay, this
is just not, and you know, withtime you see that it just
flourish because there was timeand there was patience and there
was understanding on adifferent level.
Right, but you don't want touse that time for to stretch out
(29:09):
because you want things to, youknow, move forward where you
know UK we were at this stage ofit you know you want to have a
child, you know stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
I agree Right To all our listeners and followers what
do you guys think?
Tell us your opinion.
So all the listeners who are 50and over.
Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah, ladies.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
How was your dating lifestyle?
How was your dating life?
Any challenges you guys haverun into?
Tell us, send us an email, sendus a message, let us know.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Yeah, so that's all for now, everyone, and we thank
you so much for joining us fromBe Real With Laugh podcast.
Don't forget to check out ourYouTube, our YouTube page at Be
Real With Laugh, and ourInstagram and Facebook.
And so it's the end of ourepisode.
Thank you again.
(30:07):
You guys, take good care andhave yourself a wonderful week.
Take care, everyone.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Take care, have a blessed day Love.
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