Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey everyone, what's
up.
What's up?
What's up Lav here from theReal with Lav podcast and
welcome Thank you for joining mehere today.
How is everything?
How's the family doing?
How was your family day?
It was really cold here, butfor the most part it was a
lovely weekend.
(00:22):
So I just wanted to talk about,you know, the word trust.
The word trust is a veryimportant word and it has a lot
of important meanings to it.
And one thing you knowsometimes we as human beings, we
(00:47):
think we know the person,especially with family.
Right In today's episode, Ijust want to talk a little bit
about trusting your sibling.
You know your own family memberand what it really truly means.
Now, let's say you have sorry,I'm just doing something here to
(01:16):
my hair.
Now, guys, for those of you outthere who have siblings and you
know what it could be any familymember.
It could be a cousin, you knowit could be a cousin.
It could be an uncle, it couldbe an aunt, brother, sister,
whatever, niece, nephew.
But if you and your brother oryour sister have a connection,
(01:44):
as you know siblings, and youshare certain things with that
sibling, and something happenswith that sibling and your other
sibling, and because you didn'ttake it upon yourself to jump
in the argument that they werehaving, or whatever disagreement
that sibling goes and discussyour business and talk about you
(02:10):
to his wife or her husband,right To the point where, when
certain things was going on, thewife, which is my brother's
wife, told me the reason why shedecided to go to the other
(02:31):
brother and literally told thebrother, asked my brother a
question.
My other brother asked myquestion about niece.
I'm the one who startedeverything and the reason why
she did that is because of whatmy brother told her about me.
So when she said that, mind you, when I heard, when I heard
(02:58):
when my other brother called andtold me, I called my brother,
my other brother, and becausenow the two brothers are not
talking, so I called and I saidare you home?
He said no, he's on his way.
I said okay, when you get home,put your phone on speaker and
call your wife in the room.
Okay, and he said what happened?
(03:20):
I said don't worry, you willknow.
But this is what I'm asking youto do is just to, when you get
home, call me and make sureshe's in the room, in your
bedroom, somewhere private, andput me on speaker.
So he did just that.
And I said, okay, so is yourwife there?
And he says yeah.
(03:41):
I said okay, and I said to herdid you talk to somebody about
me just not so long ago, maybeabout a week or two ago?
And she took a couple secondsbefore she answered.
And then she says, yeah, okay.
(04:02):
I said okay.
So my name was mentioned.
So what exactly?
What is the reason why my nameI'm being discussed and I'm not?
I don't know about it.
And then she started to talkthat she didn't mean it that way
.
She just, you know, wanted toknow what was going on between
both brothers.
(04:22):
And I said okay.
So how did my name come up?
I mean, we're both women.
You're my brother's wife, I'mhis sister, right?
So how is it that my name cameup into this to talk as if I'm
the one who's a troublemaker?
And she said the only reasonwhy she went to the other
(04:42):
brother is because of the stuffthat he told her about me.
Right away I thought to myselfno, I didn't just hear what.
I just what I just heard, right?
I said this is a brother thatwe talk often.
We talk, we laugh andeverything, and if he has a
(05:04):
problem with his wife, he wouldcall me and he would talk to me,
right, and I would alwaysencourage to work things out
Right.
When the other brother willtell him to leave the wife,
leave her because she's an idiot, she's this and that.
And I remember when he calledand told me about that
(05:24):
conversation of the otherbrother telling him he was upset
, he called me.
I remember I just pulled upfrom work and he called and he
was upset and he was telling mehow he's telling him to leave
his wife because she's an idiot,right.
And I said to him I said that'sdisrespectful and you need to
let him know that he's beingdisrespectful.
(05:47):
She is your wife and he needsto respect your space and he
needs to respect, you know, yourmarriage, right.
And so when she told me thatit's the stuff that he said to
her about me, I turned to him onthe phone and I said so what
exactly are those stuff?
And then he was just so like,he was so surprised.
(06:10):
I think that she I don't thinkhe was expecting that, right,
and I was I was upset, but Ithought to myself, okay, you're
probably upset because I didn'tjump into this big, unpleasant,
loud conversation not evenargument that you and the other
(06:30):
brother was having while we wereon the phone together trying to
.
I was trying to be the middleperson in trying to bring peace
between both of them and itdidn't really work.
The other one just went off,lost it and you know it was a
whole big mess, right, and so hefelt like I didn't take up.
For him there's no taking up.
(06:51):
You know what I mean.
They were close at one pointand then one person started to
say this about the other personand you come to me and then now
you drag me and discussing meand having pillow talk about me
to your wife.
So that went on and I told himstraight and I told her how I
felt and I said so, I'm hissister, you're the wife, and if
(07:15):
you had a problem with me, whydidn't you pick up the phone and
call?
Why didn't you call me and sayyou know what love?
You know this is what'shappening.
Do you know what's the reasonfor whatever?
Whatever you didn't, she turnsand she says to me I'm not a
social person.
So I said, oh, you're not asocial person.
(07:36):
But when I went back home toJamaica, I was far from where
I'm originally from.
I'm from the East, okay.
I was way, way out Negril, okay, and it takes about four, four
to four and a half hours, fourhours drive, okay, to get to
(07:57):
Negril.
It's like from one end of theisland to the next, all right.
So I said that that time shecame with him.
So I said you're not a socialperson, but yet still you came
with him all the way four and ahalf hours to Negril to meet me
and my daughter.
So, anyways, I didn't evenbother, let that get to me
because I know she didn't knowwhat else to answer.
(08:18):
So I guess that's the onlything she could have think of.
And of course, my brother calledand was apologizing that he
didn't say anything.
You know he's sorry and thisand that, and if he didn't do
anything or say anything, whyare you sorry?
So I had cut him out for awhile.
And this is where the trust,the trust, the trust comes in.
You have your brother, you haveyour sister.
(08:41):
My other sister did the samething to me.
My other sister did the samething to me where, you know,
she's the oldest one.
So I'm telling her about mypersonal business, my personal
business, my own personalbusiness, nobody else my own.
And this is the oldest sister.
You know you have your bigsister and you can talk about
(09:04):
anything.
And you know, and lo and behold, when my mom passed away and
everything went to hell, herdaughter, who is, I have a few
words, but her daughter had saidsomething to me and I knew it
was coming from my sister, mysister, because that's something
(09:24):
her and I talked about.
And I said to myself here we go, history repeating itself now
with my brother, and I havethree brothers okay, three, and
the oldest brother that's a yearolder than me.
He and I have we have a goodrelationship.
He's my favorite brother.
(09:45):
I know people shouldn't say, oh, favorite sister, but he is my
favorite brother.
Who doesn't like it?
I always tell them I don't care, and so he understands me.
We can talk and everything, andit doesn't go anywhere other
than, you know, in the phone orthe walls and that's pretty much
it.
The other brother that's inJamaica.
(10:08):
He is a jealous person and hetalks too much and so I'm not
trying to, you know, slam mysiblings or anything, but when
you have a family member orsibling that you thought you had
a good relationship with andyou see, they pull a stunt like
(10:32):
that.
All needs to happen is that youjust cut them off, Because
what's the point?
The trust is gone, right?
You can't tell me that you haveyour brother, your sister out
there and you're talking to them, you have good conversation,
and as soon as they're back,they go and they start talking
in a different way about you, totheir husband or to their wife
(10:55):
or their girlfriend or theirboyfriend or whatever.
And some people say, oh,brother, sister or your nephew
or whatever, let's just allforget it and let's just all get
along.
No, not in my school, not in myschool.
And that's why I wanted to cometo you guys and talk to you
about it.
Like you know, where's thetrust?
(11:15):
Where's the trust?
You know what I mean.
Where's the trust If yourfamily, your own family remember
, your own sibling can do thatto you?
You know what I mean.
So who else, who else?
Who else can you go out thereto trust?
You know, for me, I live my lifeand I always say I kind of live
my life just really, reallyquiet and reserved and I stay in
(11:37):
my own lane, I don't care forno, no, no, togetherness with
nobody, no family members ornothing.
Because, to be honest with youeverybody, I don't miss my
family.
I don't miss, you know, I don'tmiss them.
I have a sister that's also inJamaica, where we have we have a
decent relationship, you know.
(11:58):
And then the other brother inthe US we also have.
I have two brothers in the US,one that I speak with very well
and the other one I don't.
So I have three brothers and Icut off two.
I have four sisters and I cutoff three.
How about that?
You know?
And it's so important to haverespect and to have that
(12:20):
integrity and once thatintegrity is gone, the
relationship between you andyour brother, or you and your
sister, or whoever, it can never, it can never be real because
the trust is gone, right?
So this is why I just wanted tobring this, you know, on this
(12:41):
podcast, because it's soimportant.
There's so many families outthere that don't.
There's no love, there's notrust, there's no respect.
You know, nobody cares.
You know what I mean and I knowI had this on.
We talked about this beforeabout, you know, family, you
know, and family is somethingspecial, but for me, I don't
(13:06):
really say family, I sayrelatives, we're just related,
that's pretty much it by blood,you know.
So I'm telling you it's not,it's just not a good thing, it's
just not a good thing.
And a friend of mine said whydon't you just, you know, talk
(13:27):
to him and tell him I don't needto do that.
You're an adult, you know whatyou did.
You know what you did.
You know what you did was wrong.
And even though I try to, youknow, just kind of be civil or
whatever, you still have thatdirty way inside of you.
So this time around I said okay, enough of your ass, it's time
(13:48):
to just cut off and delete.
You still can't tell me what isit that you know about me, that
you went and told your wifeabout me to the point where she
said it's the stuff that youtold her.
What stuff, what stuff You'remaking me out to look like some,
what stuff are you talkingabout?
You know.
So there's some things thatpeople don't understand, that
(14:09):
when they do things and hurt you, they don't understand it can
leave a stain on your heart.
You know it can leave a stainon your heart.
Hurt is hurt and pain is pain.
I don't need no one to tell methat Right.
And nowadays, in this time, dayand age where we live in,
people don't care.
People don't care.
It's just for the moment.
(14:30):
You know people.
It's like the season, right.
So the change in the season,you know, in that season you
knew that person.
And then after a while, adifferent season come, that
person is gone.
You know there's no animosityor anything, you just know you
(14:51):
just everybody's just got tomove, keep it moving and keep
and move on.
There's no genuine nothing atall.
You know no genuine nothing.
So that's life and that's howit is.
So anybody out there that hasthis sibling rivalry and this
unnecessary bickering and allthat, all you have to do is just
(15:12):
remove yourself.
That's it.
That's all you have to do isjust remove yourself.
You don't need to waste yourtime to argue and fuss and fight
.
Just remove yourself and deleteand block.
Okay, and that will.
I'm telling you, try it one day.
It'll make you feel a whole lotbetter.
(15:34):
Yeah, always remember that, nomatter who it is.
Once they hurt you in a way,where it's something that it's
so hard to you know, we alwayscan forgive, but never forget,
and especially when it's yoursibling, you know what I mean,
your sibling and you're supposedto live good together.
Everybody argues and fight, butnot to the level where you know
(15:57):
they do something that reallyand truly hurt you to the core.
Then you know there's somethinggoing on here, right?
But thank you everybody.
That's all for this episode andthank you so much for joining
me here on we Will With LapPodcast and have yourself a very
good week and we will talk nextweek Tuesday again.
(16:22):
We're here 5 am every Tuesdaymorning, 5 am everybody, and
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Thank you for joining me.
Take care, everyone, much love.