Be Your Own Damn Muse

Medical trauma. Suuuuuuuuuuper fun topic, right?

I'm (obvi) not a doctor, and this isn't an official diagnosis. Or expert advice.

This is one long-running patient who is processing the (unknown, unseen) mental health effects of repeated surgeries and endless doctors who can't find anything wrong.

It takes a toll.

As I prepare myself for shoulder surgery - my third (!!) - this week,...

As a girl who lives by her to do list... I find the idea of surrender extremely uncomfortable.

How am I supposed to trust that the work I am doing, the work I am putting out into the world, the people I am meeting and connecting with - that it will all lead to the kinds of roles I want to play, and stories I want to tell?

I am not good with things I can't control.

This week I'm sharing about how...

Loneliness is not being seen as we are.
Not being accepted for who we are.

Loneliness also gets created when we feel forced to hide who we are.

Art is about learning to express the full range of who we are.
And - learning to withstand that not everyone will understand or approve.

In that way, Art is about learning to know ourselves.
To approve of ourselves.
To come home to ourselves. 

...

As artists, we have brilliant imaginations that we put to compelling use.
Those imaginations can create bright fantasies, and irresistible dramas.

When we use them on ourselves, we can daydream about awards and recognition, reaching a wider audience, creating greater impact. Or we can tell a story of defeat, of impossible odds, of a world against us and no way up.

Sometimes, often, we tell both.

And a...

I live in a constant state of panic of being behind.
 
Behind in being 'discovered' as an artist.
Behind in being established in my creative career.
Behind in the traditional female pressures of marriage, kids, the house with the white picket fence.

I wake up with this incredible pressure to catch up, as though everyone else started life ahead of me, and I'm still trying to get to the beginni...

Creativity is cyclical, like the seasons.

We cannot produce all the time. We must make time to rest.

But in a culture that prizes productivity and output above all else, how do we allow for the time and space? 

Thinking of rest as part of the cycle of creation allows me to indulge fully, to trust that I am resourcing and gathering ideas and fresh energy for the next bout of creative expression.

I...

We are witnessing new climate disasters every day, and it can be hard to wonder the point of creativity, of making anything, when the world around us is in such peril.

But art is how we process what is happening, digest it, and find new meaning in it.

Art is also how we dream of a better future. It's how we inspire each other to keep going. How we amplify a vision of living in community and respect for each o...

I imagine all humans struggle with rage - there is certainly ample reason to be angry in this world.

Just the act of being human requires loving people, losing people. Having your heart broken, being rejected. Getting sick, watching your body deteriorate (if you're lucky.)

These are all incredibly difficult things, for which there is no one to yell at. No one to blame.

So the rage, that deep sense of...

Fresh from the Lighthouse International Film Festival (at the Jersey beach!!), for the premiere of my short film How to Pack Up Your Life in One Day, and still dizzy from the red carpets, the phenomenal filmmakers, the profound screenings. 

I've been thinking how these moments of celebration - our crew gathering, our friends thrilled, an audience applauding - are such highs in the journey. 

Such an external r...

It can be as simple as sitting on the floor...

Remember when you used to watch TV and do homework lying on your stomach, propped up on your elbows? Remember how solid the ground felt? How long your body felt? How big the room from that angle?

Did you ever lie on your bed, head pointed toward the foot, legs up against the wall? 

How many different ways did you used to look at the world? 

And when ...

I've been taking a screenwriting class where the main exercise has been to copy brilliant scripts that have already been made into award-winning films and TV shows.

Page by page, word for word, type the exact dialogue, action lines, character descriptions.

When the teacher mentioned this I immediately thought "ah ha!" Why didn't I think of that? 

I've done it in so many other form...

When we talk about making small changes, one challenge is that it can be hard to see progress. Small wins add up to big wins - but slowly. 

Enter the habit tracker. A way to stay accountable to yourself on the commitments you've made. Writing. Playing music. Painting. Journaling.

It can be as simple as a small calendar, with a box for each day of the month. Check off the days you showed up for your art. Leave...

With all my recent travels, I've gotten to examine my deep anxieties about traveling, my overwhelming desire for it to be over, to have already arrived.

I'm learning that the not knowing what will be, the inability to anticipate and solve problems that have not yet materialized, make it excrutiating to venture forth.

The same applies to creativity.

Not knowing where an opportunity will lead, who...

Did you know that January 19 is known as Quit Day for New Year's Resolutions?

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we continue to believe that we can make grand declarations one day that will magically transform who we are and how we live our lives starting the next?

This week I'm talking about the power of small changes and tiny wins. How change truly works, and what it takes to make it happe...

Hello my friends!!

Been diving back into my TV pilot script, and took some advice from writers and filmmakers I admire that I heard a while ago - that most of the "writing" isn't actually writing, and most certainly doesn't happen at a desk.

Creativity needs movement, and problem solving is best done on your feet. Which is how I found myself this week, walking home with groceries in hand (I for...

Your feelings are chemical sensations rushing through your body. We often get locked in trying to analyze and argue with our thoughts, but there is another process that be incredibly healing - feeling your feelings.

In this episode, I practice tuning into my body and describing the sensations of my feelings - and in so doing, allow them to process and settle within my system.

As someone used to resisting all her e...

The allure of travel has always been that over there, things will be better. We will have more fun; be more fun. We get to drop the burdens we carry when we travel, enamored with new places, shedding our old stories and trying on new versions of ourselves.

This works in large part for vacations - those one or two week sprints where you take off from your 'real' life to explore somewhere new. It's like the fi...

I've created lots of rules for adventuring for myself over the years.  Try a new coffee shop a day.  Taste test all the burger joints in a new town.  Ways to turn the overwhelm of being in a whole new place with no anchors into a million little games.

The beauty of gamification is it takes all the pressure off. There is no need to have "the most amazing experience."

I'm trying to figure out h...