January 9, 2025 • 36 mins
Tom Arnold's Journey: True Lies, Roseanne Roast & Single Parenting | Beans to Billions Podcast
In this episode of the Beans to Billions Podcast, host dives deep into Tom Arnold's life post-Roseanne divorce. Tom shares behind-the-scenes stories from getting his role in 'True Lies,' his infamous roast of Roseanne Barr, and challenges of single parenting. He also opens up about recent health struggles, co-parenting conflicts, and finding contentment in unexpected places. Join for an inspiring and humorous conversation that highlights resilience and reinvention.
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00:00 Tom Arnold Part2
03:53 The Roast Invitation
05:41 Restraining Orders and Legal Hurdles
06:19 The Day of the Roast
07:42 Post-Roast Reflections
09:08 Challenges of Roasting and Parenting
11:10 Current Projects and Life as a Single Dad
14:57 Financial Struggles and Lessons Learned
16:53 Custody Battles and Co-Parenting Woes
24:15 Health Scares and Family Dynamics
31:57 The Jenny Craig Incident
36:07 Closing Thoughts and Reflections
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Mixcast 4-4 (00:01):
Welcome back to part two of our Tom Arnold
interview at Beans to BillionsPodcast.
Last time we went over a lot ofthings in the beginning of Tom's
career where he started out inIowa, how he, you know, worked
the standup circuit, the peoplehe met along the way.
Now we're going to be startingout post Roseanne divorce with
(00:22):
true lies and how that came tobe.
Uh, we're going to go over abunch more about, you know, his
relationship with Roseanne Barrafter the divorce, the infamous
roast, single parentingchallenges, and you know, how
he's dealt with his recenthealth issues and what his
outlook is on things movingforward.
(00:43):
Stick around.
This is going to be a fantasticepisode.
Stop, rewind, stick around.
This is going to be a fantasticepisode.
Check it out.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (00:54):
So, you know, um, I'm also super
grateful to Jim Cameron becausewhen he got, when I got the part
that day, Arnold, he said, don'ttell anyone for two weeks.
So I'm like, I swear to God, Iwon't tell anyone the best news
of my life.
And I run to my car, I calleveryone I know, nobody believes
me.
My wife thinks I'm back ondrugs.
(01:15):
And even that night in front ofthe mirror, I was looking at
myself like, wait a minute, whywould he ask me to wait two
weeks?
You know, maybe that didn'thappen.
I found out why he asked me towait two weeks when the movie
came out.
he had to go for that meetingwith Arnold and I over to Foxton
give them the ring.
(01:35):
And he comes in there and he'slike, well, we can start filming
True Lies since I found thethird guy.
And they're like, that'sfantastic, Cameron, who is it?
And he's like, it's Tom Arnold.
They're like, Yeah, that'shorrible.
Jim Cameron.
He's like, why do you say that?
They're like, don't you read thetabloids?
He's a crazy person.
And Jim Cameron's like, no, Idon't read the tabloids, but I
(01:56):
wrote this movie and he is
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (01:58):
Mm-hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (01:59):
And they're like, well, Jim, we're
sorry.
We cannot approve Tom Arnold.
And Jim Cameron to his creditsaid, no, no, no.
I'm the one that started.
I wanted to make the movie hairof Fox.
Now I'm going to go down thestreet and make a fucking
paramount, and they'll be like,Okay, we'll give him a chance,
kind of a day to
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (02:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (02:19):
I didn't know this, I would have
been a little disappointed.
So the Fox guys would come tothe set, I was hugging them,
telling them, Thank you forchoosing me, and all this
bullshit.
And then finally we could wrapthe movie.
And this is after all thatdivorce shit went down.
And at the end of the screening,what they do is get people, 250
people, into a theater, theydon't know what they're going to
(02:40):
watch, and they're going to raidit.
And all of a sudden it comes up.
Oh, James Cameron movie.
Yay.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Yay.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
And then it says Tom Arnold andpeople booed
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (02:54):
Oh my God.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (02:55):
by the end of that movie.
I think it lasted two hours.
By the end of that, they fillout the cards and almost
everybody, I was their favoritecharacter.
So, uh, they didn't know me.
They didn't like me at first.
They still didn't know me, butthey suddenly liked me.
That's
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (03:12):
Yeah.
Well that was like also likeyour first time like in the
public eyes super out of youknow Roseanne's shadow and that
was a huge shadow to get outfrom under at that time,
especially
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (03:23):
No, I just tried, tried to take the
high road as much as possible.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (03:29):
Yeah, yeah, the funniest stand up that
I think I've ever seen funniestlike five minutes of stand up
was the roast you did with herAnd that was absolutely
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (03:40):
That was scary.
That was a scary thing because,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (03:43):
Yeah
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (03:43):
you know, I went like this.
I knew she was doing a roastand, uh, the producer happened.
I was on Howard Stern forwhatever reason, the producer
happened to call.
And, uh, yeah, talking about theroast and I said, he goes, Joe
Gallon.
I said, he said, would you beinterested in doing the roast?
I said, well, listen, maybe, butdon't call me last minute.
(04:04):
I said, don't call me at thelast minute.
If I'm going to do it, I'm goingto do it.
I'm going to work on it.
I'm going to, you know, sonothing happens.
And then the week of the roaston Tuesday, the roast is
Saturday.
Roseanne calls, leaves a messageon my phone.
We haven't talked.
Okay.
And, uh, uh, she wants to talkto me.
(04:25):
And so I called the producer.
I said, I want to call youbecause I know if I called her
back, we'd have to tell eachother to fuck off somehow.
What does she want me to do?
He said, well, she'd like you tocome to the roast, dress as
waiter and bring her a drink.
And I go, and then what?
Well, then you leave.
Probably not going to a Roseanneroast, especially that, and not
(04:50):
doing any jokes.
That's not gonna happen.
So, uh, but thank you anyway.
So next day he calls back, Hey,you will be roasting people.
You come in, you roast the deis,Amy Schubert, Andy the other
people.
And then I go, and Roseanne?
No, you don't roast Roseanne.
(05:10):
You just roast them.
I go again.
People will be mad if it goesthat way, and I'm going to do
it.
And they call it texting.
Anything you want.
Anything you want.
So, I'm talking to my ex wifeabout it.
I said, uh, you know, I wouldlike to.
I have to be honest with you.
I haven't talked to her inyears.
(05:31):
Many years.
Many years.
I'd like to do this thing.
And, uh, you know.
And so, I called my lawyers.
I said, we'll do this.
Let's see what they're going togive me.
You know.
And then we realized there arerestraining orders against both
of us.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (05:50):
Oh god.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (05:50):
Our divorce decree has things in it
like, if she makes fun of mypenis, she has to give me 100,
000.
If I say something about hervagina, I have 100, 000.
We can't be in the same room.
We cannot be in the same room.
So they had to spend 100, 000.
All night, Friday night, thelawyers in New York, uh, opening
(06:11):
that thing up and get rid of allthat stuff just so we can be in
the same room.
And then Saturday morning of theshow, I'm sitting there, I'm,
okay, now I'm doing it.
I realized I have not worked onshit.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (06:23):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (06:23):
is what I didn't want to happen to
not have jokes ready to go.
Um, and, uh, and I talked to,uh, Jen Kirkman, who's sort of
helped me and she goes, don'tyou have anything in your head?
And I started writing it down.
I had One joke for every yearthat I've seen her.
And I said, write them down, godown there.
(06:43):
They, they hide me a lot, butit's still not a hundred percent
that I'm going to do it.
But you never know with her.
So I'm in a trailer that I hearJane, uh, Jane, what's her last
name?
A comedian that was on the showwhere she was a teacher on the
show.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:03):
Oh, yeah.
Uh, oh now you got me lynch janelynch
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (07:07):
she's great.
No, she didn't know how tospell, but she was fancy.
Um.
They had made a few jokes aboutme before I got on.
I knew they would, but you gottado it.
Um, and then all of a suddenthey moved me back to Asia.
Someone had a jaded lips notethat said, hey, oh, oh, I guess
someone would, uh, like to comeout and say hi.
(07:30):
And she said, uh, Arnold, andshe was just laughing.
I think that's what happened.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:35):
Yeah, the sheer shock on everybody's
faces was like
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (07:38):
very seldom see.
Real things like that ontelevision.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:41):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (07:42):
I was nervous.
That was, and I'd seen, youknow, my thing is just get to
your jokes and say somethingnice at the end.
And I, I, I believe she was overhere.
I didn't look at her.
And at the end of my jokes, I,uh, I was thinking, what do,
what did the other comics dowhen they're done over, give her
a hug or just, anyway.
(08:04):
So I walked over and it was aweird, weird, thing.
I just, and that, and I'm like,That, well, I'll get that outta
here, we'll do it again.
And she ran backstage and said,I wanna tell you what this great
way we marry the hatchet and,and all the photographers came
out.
We want a picture of you guys.
(08:24):
She's like, no, no.
I need to go to the bathroomfirst.
And so she went that way and I,I'm like, fuck it.
She doesn't want a picture.
So
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (08:33):
hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (08:34):
I, I take off and they take me to
my,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (08:36):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (08:37):
uh, my wife at the time said, how'd
it go?
I said, it went well.
Uh, they wanted a picture at theend.
And, uh, she didn't want one.
She was like, she had to go tothe bathroom.
And, uh, so I said, hell withit.
And she goes, of course, she hadto go to the bathroom.
I looked at her mirror and tooka picture of her ex husband
without looking in the mirrorand seeing what's going on.
(08:58):
I was like, oh, is that true?
Okay.
But, it was good.
It was good and, uh, nervewrecking.
Uh, but, I'm glad I did it.
I've done some other roasts,but, uh, roasting people, uh,
you know, I mean, the peoplethat are great at it are It just
gets a little weird for me whenI don't know them.
(09:20):
Or, better yet, when they don'tknow me and they're roasting me.
But, uh, who's that big guy?
He's that, uh, Jimmy, you know,great big comedian.
But this, this big.
He was very funny.
I'll tell you who he is.
And he did, it was actually aroast I'd set up.
We have this Kate Aron schoolhere in Los Angeles.
(09:42):
And Ralphie May.
Not Ralphie May.
You know, uh, it was me and, uh,Cameron, Arnold, Sam Boyce were
put together.
Axe had really built thisschool.
And at least Rose was making 4million.
And so I was being honored.
I was being honored.
And Ralphie Mays starts it up.
(10:03):
And I was like, I'm going totake you in.
I'm going to take you in.
You don't know me enough to dothis.
But you have to have a thickskin.
Because that's how it goes.
And they trashed Arnold.
You know, this one is good too.
They trashed about everything,you know, uh, and that's kind of
what, you know, they were prettypure folks, like nobody, but it
(10:26):
takes a little bit to get usedto.
Um, and it always took me alittle bit close to go rivers.
I felt I didn't want to saysomething mean, you know, and I
like watching those, uh, there'sstill,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (10:42):
got to be scary doing them because you
don't know if you're going tocross a line that's going to
burn a bridge.
Even though it's all in goodfun, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (10:47):
yeah, well, you do have to think that
way.
Roseanne, I got posted by theoriginal flyers and.
So, that was, people, theydidn't have really an audience,
it started to get televised, itwas brutal.
But, once that happens, yourealize, oh, they're doing that
with everything.
(11:08):
So, you know,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (11:10):
Tom, what are you working on now
besides being a single dad?
You got anything in the pipelinethat you're
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (11:17):
the week before Christmas, I did a
movie called, uh, somethingairplane.
And, uh, get a couple of sortsof keys.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (11:33):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-202 (11:34):
Unsuited or unsuitable.
I have a bunch of stand updates, you know,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (11:39):
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (11:43):
got two other movie things I do in
January.
I got to do what I got to do.
I mean, I really, there's no,you know, that's no joke.
I'm very grateful for my lifeand very small life.
You have to outsize.
a huge house and we really onlyhung out last week.
(12:07):
It was a nice bathroom, two bigbathrooms, wide open, huge
closets.
And, but that's where the kids,I hung out that portion of the
house.
And so this house is maybe asbig,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (12:22):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (12:22):
not the bedroom, but just the closet
and everything else.
And it's a good thing because Ikeep an eye on people.
I can hear them.
I know what, you know, if theyget scared, they come to my bed
or they just come.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (12:35):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, again, I mean, I thinkyou, at some point You know, you
kind of find happiness in placesyou didn't expect it.
Right.
When you're kind of young andhungry, it's all about, you
know, bigger, better, faster,more, more, more.
And then I think you like, atleast for me, and it sounds like
for you, you know, the, being asingle dad just changes your
entire perspective.
You know, I, I went through aperiod where I was on food
(12:56):
stamps, but I was happy andbefore that I was unhappy if I
didn't have a brand new Porsche.
Do you know what I mean?
Like it was just a.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (13:03):
it's good that we have done those
things,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:06):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (13:08):
been out and done fun things.
Partied, I've partied.
You know, that's, that's howI've, I've had sex with women in
my past.
You know, done it.
May not happen again, but it'snot, it's not a burning desire.
Um, I just, every day.
And the one good thing aboutbeing in a relationship with one
(13:29):
person is, you know, Christcaused such trouble, I just.
you know, over and over and itshows up, swats us, whatever she
does, is that I don't takeanything for granted.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:43):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025 (13:44):
variety is a day in a time, but also
with the kids, there's no issuethat goes unsolved.
I
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:52):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_ (13:53):
don't, I don't take for granted that
it'll be fine tomorrow.
I think when you're part of itis a moment.
There's a lot of friends thatwent through these acrimonious
divorces.
They're like, And the mom didn'twant them around the kids or
whatever, and they kind ofstepped back, and they knew,
well maybe as they get closer tobeing an adult, they'll see what
(14:13):
the real deal is.
But I didn't have that luxury, Iadmit it, you know.
And it's also the best thing formy kids.
Every, me being in their life,I'm stable, I'm, you know, um, I
understand who they are,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (14:28):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (14:28):
which I enjoy.
And, uh, so.
That's kind of the big hit.
And, you know, we had COVID soour business shut down over two
years.
Then we had the writer's strike,which took a
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (14:39):
hmm.
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (14:41):
and I was freaking out about money
then.
Uh, then I said, well, I justgot to feel like everything is
going to work out.
Just,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (14:49):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (14:50):
enjoy this time.
Kids are homeschooled.
We're around each other a lot.
Enjoy it.
And things will work out.
I think, you know, I've cut itclose before.
My credit cards have not worked.
we have cut it close that, uh,we may have bounced a couple of
checks and that feeling eventoday when I get gas,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (15:11):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (15:11):
I kind of like nervous because
once that's happened to you, Iwas younger.
I had no money, obviously
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (15:17):
Yeah, but you never forget it Like you
go from no money when you neverhad anything it never feels
unusual that you don't have itRight, then when you go and you
kind of you know, you've got amillion in the bank at one point
or more you go Oh, this is justhow it is And then when you're
sitting there going, Oh crap,can I buy food?
Can I buy gas?
Can I pay the heat bill?
It hurts the second time.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (15:38):
does.
And I, I have made, when I wasdoing the bigger movies.
At least 50 million, which it,you know, a person go, can you
make, hey, we'll put some ofthat in the bank and we won't
buy all these houses orwhatever.
I think I I never respected themoney.
I liked it more each movie.
I like getting these things.
(15:59):
I, I, but I didn't go, Oh,this'll stop.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (16:02):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (16:03):
And, uh, I think because I, I was
more comfortable with, you know,when I was actually having to
scramble a little bit, I still,uh, I'm not poor like it was I
do make money and, uh, I'vespent over 2 million in court.
I had a retirement fund before Imet my ex wife.
(16:26):
I also had a house in BeverlyHills and those are gone.
And towards the end of thatrelationship, my thing was, I
just have to get her out of thishouse.
She can do what she wants.
Because this is untenable.
This, I'd live for a while inthe same house, one side of the
house, the other.
But, you know, that's just,yeah, that was bad.
(16:47):
It was bad for the kids, it wasbad for me, and, uh, especially
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (16:52):
is more important.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (16:53):
when she moved out, yeah, and that
was, uh, and then she just triedto break in every day since,
but, uh, but, You know, that wasimportant.
I had to stick to my guts andthere were some scary things
where she called the police andsaid, I done stuff.
And, and, you know, I have 21cameras inside and outside the
house.
Reason for this reason, not forthe telegraph.
(17:14):
And I say, Hey, have yoursupervisor come down here.
She's been here before and thenwe'll watch the film.
And they'd watch the film.
Then they'd call her out ofthere.
But that same past, because Ithink the first.
Two times that happened.
They come.
She's like, Tom Arnold is veryviolent.
He has a lot of guns.
I'm worried about my kids.
The cops would come in hot.
(17:34):
That's their job.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (17:35):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (17:36):
And, uh, you know, as they got to
know us, they said, if you eventhink she's gonna call us, call
us so we don't come here.
And then a judge, which is areally weird thing to put in our
stipulation, that she cannotcall the police for any reason.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (17:52):
Oh my God.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_ (17:53):
really wild.
That, that's it there, becauseshe told him so much, and, uh,
so, things are, things havegotten better, um, I think that
the usual thing of, okay, shefiles this huge thing, wants to
send me to jail for two years,tells the judge she thinks it
would be good for the kids iftheir dad went to prison for two
(18:15):
years, or be two minutes late onFaceTime, you know, and then the
judge turns to her lawyer andgoes, But I do think it's a good
use of my limited resources herein
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (18:26):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (18:27):
to get a, gather a jury right after
COVID, have a six week trial andher lawyers say, okay, no, we'll
cut it to six months so youdon't have to have a jury.
Like it's never, and then hejust crosses everything out.
And I did try to representmyself for a while.
And, uh, uh, but I was missingso much.
(18:48):
I had no.
I could not comprehend thisstuff they were doing.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (18:52):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (18:53):
They were doing it and how dangerous
that would be for me.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (18:57):
Yeah.
There's an old saying, you can'tfight crazy.
You know, you, you,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (19:00):
it is, I'll tell you what it's
like.
It's like, uh, uh, I'm Batmanuh, uh, she is the Joker and
tried to co parent, Batman triedto co parent with Joker because
Joker, Batman has rules, right?
Certain things you won't do,especially in front of the kids.
The joker will shoot is abystander.
That's really what
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (19:21):
Mm-hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (19:22):
she will do.
I can't even, you know, and alot of this is documented and
what's supposed to threaten todo something in court.
Now, the trial, she included aswell as evidence against me,
somehow, a video that I had shotof her on my first custody day,
showing up at my house and I'mputting the kids to sleep.
(19:44):
But
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (19:45):
Mm-hmm Mm-hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (19:47):
that, and to add to that, I've called
the police, I've been atLocksmith, I've been getting
this out, she threatens the, thenanny who's an immigrant, I've
called the police, what have I,you know, I've called Lee out by
the gate, tried to, And whathappens is it scares the Danny,
she opens up the door, the kidscome out, um, you know, uh, they
were asleep, and, uh, and so sheends up grabbing our little
(20:09):
daughter and peel it off of her,she leaves our son on the curb
with, uh, this rabbit, becauseit's always obvious what she's
interested in, and, uh, youknow, those, uh, that kind of
behavior, and then for me, thejudge to say, well, look, you
got a video attached to thisLet's see the video, which is so
great that we sat there watchingthat video because the judge was
(20:32):
like, oh my god.
And the video includes her doingall that stuff, which is taken
kids or threatened kids, uh, uh,is contempt of court.
It's a court order and you'resaying, no, I'm ignoring it.
You are contemptuous.
You have to be And then whatshe's filed for domestic
(20:52):
violence restraining orders for,uh, things like.
He, uh, says me too manymessages or, you know, he, uh,
you know, uh, he's donewhatever, um, but but her
behavior in that video, whichthe court saw is within the
California domestic violencelaw, it's definitely the
(21:14):
threats, the stuff that is, andthen the yanking of the kids,
uh, And the, and the sabotage inher bedtime, that, that is, uh,
that's, uh, in my opinion,that's child abuse.
So she put a video that showsher doing all these things, and
then it's included in that videois a letter that she wrote to
(21:37):
her, uh, therapist.
She was working with Dr.
Robin Hurwitz, very official,someone she saw on TV.
She liked him because he wasLisa's friend.
And she said, I'd fire youbecause you said that Tom was a
better parent.
I mean, she put that
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (21:53):
my, yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (21:54):
I can't trust like that her
therapist after examining, youknow, so, I mean, that's, it's
a, I, it's a piece of gold tome.
And I will say this aboutwatching her watch it.
She's like, I can't even look atit.
I can't.
And by the Lord saying, you knowwhat it is though?
Cause you attached it like yourlawyer knows this, whatever.
(22:15):
And I'm watching her.
It's a weird thing.
because she is so offended bythat video that I said video of
her behavior.
And it doesn't cross her mind togo.
I'm embarrassed by bad behavior.
Listen, I get my behavior.
I get embarrassed sometimes whenI'm too loud with the kids and
stuff.
And, but she, as she is often ina different world, I have to
(22:39):
tell you that.
So hopefully this'll be, youknow, again, you spend all your
money is stressful for the kids.
But hopefully we're gettingsomewhere.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (22:49):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hope so too.
I, I, that's a, a lot to gothrough and to still try to, you
know.
Work and provide for yourselfwith that level of distraction
in the background and inconstant dread and threat.
It's not easy.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (23:01):
You gotta think, but it was worse
when we lived together.
I knew pretty quick with thekids, Oh, some's over there.
This is not going to be, uh, youknow, she'd do a thing.
Like I'd come home from workexhausted.
She'd wake me up.
She wants to fight me to die.
It was
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (23:16):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (23:18):
I, let's take it to the morning,
whatever it is.
She goes, well, I'm gonna gowake jacks up.
Our son, he was four.
I'm gonna wake him up, tell himwe're getting divorced.
I go, oh, don't do that.
That's terrible idea.
And I got to the door to stopher every time.
But one, she got out the door,woke him out of it.
Sounds like your mom and dad aregetting divorced.
(23:38):
We want you to know, like, it'sso crazy, traumatizing, you
know, but that's her.
does guardrails.
There's no, uh, you know, shelies every time she Opens her
mouth.
It's complicated to do anythingwith her because to get
something done that's good Wehave to figure out a way to make
that her idea
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (23:59):
Yeah, yeah
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (24:00):
And you know, you can also see the
kids they're like, yeah, I don'twant to go there I don't want
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (24:06):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (24:06):
you know, uh, but but you know, this
is the way it is and I just hopeto survive I've had some health
issues.
Um, she's
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (24:15):
I heard you had a mini stroke a
while back.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (24:18):
I've had organ failure almost five
years ago and I had two twoviruses And I was on life
support for 11 days before UCLA,and, uh, Even then, I only
FaceTimed my kids once while Iwas hospital because I wanted to
ventilate her out.
I wanted, I was telling mybrother, get the good reports,
(24:39):
but one day I kind of got ittogether, didn't have anything
coming out of my body, and had anice little FaceTime with them.
And then the day I got out, Itried to FaceTime them, and she
wouldn't let me, which is crazy.
And then I was going to pickthem up the next day, and she
said, I'm not the least of thekids.
I didn't know everything aboutyour medical.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (25:00):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (25:00):
And, you know, who's gonna be at the
house?
Are you, who's gonna beovernight?
I had a nurse and I had, and Iwas a little, you know, winded.
I wasn't a hundred percent, butI needed to get the kids.
I had a nurse and a daddy todrive me over.
And so the kids, they see me,they come running and just give
me great hugs.
They're so happy to see me andit's all great.
(25:23):
And so I get to, uh, uh, startwalking, walk towards the car
and she appears on the secondfloor balcony.
And she's like, Lobbyist.
She's like, he's bad for thisfucking building.
Call the police.
Call the police.
I, I, man, we gotta roll again.
I'm, and I'm carrying all thetoys they've taken outta my
house.
When we get in the car, we pullaway.
(25:44):
Everything's good.
I'm grateful to be alive.
I'm grateful to have these guysright here and, uh.
My son's like, daddy, mom criedwhen she heard about your
gospel.
I was like, Oh my God, that isso sweet.
And he's like, she cried becauseyou lived.
She has a life insurance policy,a two million dollar life
insurance policy I had to pay.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:05):
my god.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (26:06):
And I genuinely believe she cried
because I lived.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:09):
Yeah.
Well, at least you know exactlywhat you're worth to her at that
point, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (26:14):
So I calculated, my daughter died
last week, on the 18th.
And I think the, uh, this lifeinsurance She'll be able to
control it until the day mydaughter turns 18.
So I mean, I just got to livetill then that the kids can
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:32):
Mm hmm.
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (26:33):
But um, yeah, there's more to come.
I, my kids are very smart.
I, early on people said, well,don't worry because when
they're, when they're seven, youknow, they'll understand.
Is that my phone making sounds?
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:47):
I believe it was.
Yeah,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (26:48):
When they're seven, they'll, uh,
they'll understand.
So I was like, I don't want thatto happen to Dudos when they're
seven.
Dudos, we're all people.
Do I have to?
He goes, what do you want?
I go, 50 50, custody.
And he's like, no, you don't.
I go, what?
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (27:05):
hmm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (27:06):
Well, wait until they're eight and
they're born five.
I go, no, I want to do it all.
I am going to do it all.
I can do it all.
There's nothing I can't do thata mother can do.
And I'm going to do it all.
And, um, and so that's been thething.
And I, I get that more becausethey come back here early, but,
(27:26):
um, you know, it's very, verysatisfying and you're growing up
interesting and funny, and theygot their own stuff and, you
know, like we had the sleepoverwith four boys last night, which
is a complicated thing.
I've had the same sleepover withmy daughter, very complicated.
Cause we have three kids.
Two of them split off, so thatpeople's feelings are hurt.
(27:49):
Daddy, they are talking to me,whatever I do, whatever.
But if you have four, they do,the boys are a lot easier, but
they'll go two and two.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (27:58):
mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (27:59):
And, uh, the
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (28:00):
Yeah, the girls are kind of gang up on
each other, and one gets
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (28:03):
girl stuff, the girl stuff is way,
the boy stuff, sometimes they'llbe like, being abusive verbally,
calling each other names,calling each other names.
You know, and, uh, and I don'tlike that either.
Cause sometimes you get a kidthat's very sensitive.
We've had two, two kids thatnever had a sleepover that were
over here.
And I take that very seriouslybecause their parents trust me,
(28:24):
respect me enough to keep an eyeon shit and make sure that it
goes on.
And we really do a good job herebecause we we do stuff like they
want to eat.
Okay.
We go to the store, buy what youwant to cook.
You guys got to cook at all.
And it's been a, you know, yousee their self esteem.
Uh, they made fried chicken lastnight.
(28:45):
We all got the table.
They all ate together.
And when they were very young, Isaid, well, Sounds like you, you
could do better.
So you, my daughter would crackthe eggs, little daughter in a
high chair.
And my son would bake thebreakfast and then they eat it
because they made it.
I think mine was better, butonce they, once I said, well,
(29:07):
you just need to bake whatever,and then they kind of got into
cooking stuff, like learning howto do this, that they make a lot
of cakes.
They do stuff.
Um, so anytime you can empowerthem.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (29:18):
mm hmm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (29:18):
these are their ideas and, uh, you
know, but they're interestingkids that, uh, I have heard
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (29:26):
yeah.
So, do you have a, since it'sNew Year's, do you have a New
Year's resolution this year?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (29:32):
And I'm lucky to be alive and I just
take.
People say, I turned 65 lastyear, and they're like, does it
bother you getting older?
And I'm like, no, it doesn't.
I'm glad.
I'm happy.
I like being alive.
I like it.
It's my favorite thing, eachday.
And I really think that each dayis, you know, I've had a couple
(29:52):
other issues, had two majorcancer surgeries last year, and
complications.
It's the complications, let metell you.
It's the infection, but youknow, and those are always the
type she follows and stuff, butI work fine, but she had a
stroke.
She follows like it's likecruelty, but you know, uh, I do
(30:12):
have, I do take care of myselfphysiologically too.
I do.
I, after my stroke, I gave 80pounds before it and I was
thinking, what could have causedthat?
Look at a beard.
I had a beard so you couldn'ttell bad it was, beards are
sweatpants for the face for bit.
You really can't tell.
But I really changed a lot ofthings about my life and the
(30:35):
kids let me do it, you know, thekids want my attention.
Uh, when I first started workingout at the front of this house
before the stroke, as soon as Igot the headphones on, man, I've
listened to my feet.
They're standing right there.
They are standing right there.
He did this.
He did this.
Yeah.
So, so that was quick.
And a lot of times they didn'tquit.
(30:55):
I blame them do this.
What's going on.
But now they'll, uh, you know,if, if I get it, my daughter
will put me on a timer, which isgood because I'll say, okay,
this is how long I'm going togo.
I'm all yours.
But the, uh, the one day Iactually heard Jack say this,
this, dad needs to do this forhis mental health.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:15):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (31:16):
Okay.
She's like, okay.
But you know, they, they learneda little
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:20):
Oh, yeah.
And you lose 80 pounds, andwhere's Jenny Craig when you
need him now, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (31:25):
that story, you know, you know, that
story, right?
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (31:30):
That was a good deal.
There's a couple of good deals.
I had, I was the Arby's oven bit
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:35):
Mm hmm.
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (31:37):
And that is the highest paid job
ever.
You do the commercials TV.
Then you do the voice for radioand you just make hundreds of
hundreds of thousand dollarsmore, just going in and doing
these liners.
It is very low paid deal.
movement that it just keepspaying off.
(31:57):
And, uh, that job is that JennyCraig would have been one of
those jobs, but it did not workout.
Rosanna and I were not the idealpeople to lose 20 pounds.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (32:11):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (32:11):
I'll just say she offered, uh, 10
million to lose 20 pounds.
She offered Jenny Craiglegitimately.
We're like, hell yes, uh, we, wecan build a school with 20, 000.
We can do this and, uh, and wecan afford to lose 20, 000
perhaps.
Let's do this shit.
So they come over the house, allthe new Jenny Craig food, Jenny
Craig, ice cream bars, tastesjust like the real ones.
(32:32):
I was having like 20 of thosefor breakfast.
20, Jenny Craig buffet, JennyCraig buffet.
And it turns out it's notunlimited, J.
D.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (32:42):
Yeah.
You gotta pace yourself.
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (32:44):
I can eat all of this.
And they don't let you just sayyou lost 20 pounds like they
should.
It's just worship.
Well, I lost 20 pounds.
Let's just worship.
Because of a game show scandalin the 50s.
It's a federal offense to dothat.
They have to have a scientistweigh you.
And scientists at the FloridaHouse and we were gated weight.
I'd push her up back as she goton the scale.
(33:06):
You know, you could lose alittle pounds if you, Which so
forth and I done that I couldget no more pounds on her or me.
And so we're gaining weight.
It's embarrassing.
And I said, man, we could, uh,people think we're nuts.
You know, we can build a schoolwith Timmy.
Let's do that.
Plus again, we can lose 20pounds.
Healthy boys.
(33:27):
And we said, we do husband andwife.
I was a wife 24 seven.
I'm her sponsor.
She's my sponsor.
That's what we're going to dothis shit.
And we bought this at brothastudio and When I get home from
the studio, day one, I walk inthe kitchen.
We have big island to sit at inthe kitchen.
And I walked behind her.
(33:48):
She's eating a bag of jadedcrank chocolate chip cookies.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (33:50):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (33:51):
I'm her sponsor.
I'm there to help her.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (33:53):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (33:54):
go up behind her, grab the cookies,
throw them up against
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (33:57):
You gotta get the cookies away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (34:00):
there was also a block of wood there
with nine knives on the island.
And so it scared her when Igrabbed the cookie.
So she comes back.
She's got the knife and holdsup.
And I'm like, okay, you're notgood at this.
And yeah, yeah, she is.
So she stabs me.
So, which would be funny if wewere married 40 years ago.
Hey, remember when you stabbedme?
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (34:21):
That'd be one of those things, Hey,
remember back then when youaccidentally did that and we've
been happy ever since?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (34:27):
A lot of guys get stabbed.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (34:28):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (34:29):
So, um, I was like, I had many
moments like this.
What would normal people do now?
I've been stabbed.
What would normal people do?
Uh, will they call 9 1 1?
Uh, and, uh, heads up, if youcall 9 1 1, It will be recorded
and whatever you say will beplayed back on the news.
(34:51):
So you might want to think aboutwhat you're going to say.
So I call him, I go, Hey,listen, uh, Rosie Dyer on this
diet, uh, for Jenny Craig and,uh, you know, uh, situation
happened.
I walk in, she's eating baked,great chocolate chip cookies.
I respond.
So I take him away for, I thinkit scared her because she
grabbed a knife and then shestabbed me.
(35:12):
And, uh, so what's our nextmove?
I think they, they do.
The person is like, I think youshould handle this in house.
And I would go, that's exactlywhat I was saying.
We got it.
We got it.
Yeah.
So it's pretty funny story.
And, but Jenny Craig, when sheheard on the news, fired us.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (35:31):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (35:31):
we did not get 10, 000.
And, uh, as you fired it,because that wasn't the branding
she was going for.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (35:39):
Yeah.
It's a shame that Snickerswasn't doing the you're not
yourself when you're hangrything back then that you could
have cashed in.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (35:44):
it should have, Jenny Craig, you'll
be so hungry.
You'll stab your husband, JennyCraig.
So I think this day and age,they would have made it work.
Uh, like, something, uh, uh,particular with the two crazy
people that did it, but.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (35:58):
Yeah.
They hadn't heard that allpublicity is good publicity.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (36:02):
But it it came and took all their
food out of our freezers.
All the J.
D.
Creek, took all the ice creambars to go.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (36:08):
Gone over time here, and I feel bad
that I've eaten up more of yourtime here, I think, than we were
planning on.
Genuinely appreciate all thetime.
I really enjoyed our chat.
Tom, thank you for sharing yourincredible journey with us
today.
From small town Iowa toHollywood to wherever life takes
you next, your story is atestament to resilience,
reinvention, and the power ofhumor.
(36:30):
Listeners, if you enjoyedtoday's episode, make sure to
subscribe to Beans to Billions.
Leave us a review and share thisepisode with somebody who could
use a laugh, or a little bit ofinspiration.
Until next time, keep pushing,keep believing, and remember,
every great success story startswith humble beginnings.
See you on the next episode ofBeans to Billions.
Welcome back to part two of our Tom Arnold
interview at Beans to BillionsPodcast.
Last time we went over a lot ofthings in the beginning of Tom's
career where he started out inIowa, how he, you know, worked
the standup circuit, the peoplehe met along the way.
Now we're going to be startingout post Roseanne divorce with
(00:22):
true lies and how that came tobe.
Uh, we're going to go over abunch more about, you know, his
relationship with Roseanne Barrafter the divorce, the infamous
roast, single parentingchallenges, and you know, how
he's dealt with his recenthealth issues and what his
outlook is on things movingforward.
(00:43):
Stick around.
This is going to be a fantasticepisode.
Stop, rewind, stick around.
This is going to be a fantasticepisode.
Check it out.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (00:54):
So, you know, um, I'm also super
grateful to Jim Cameron becausewhen he got, when I got the part
that day, Arnold, he said, don'ttell anyone for two weeks.
So I'm like, I swear to God, Iwon't tell anyone the best news
of my life.
And I run to my car, I calleveryone I know, nobody believes
me.
My wife thinks I'm back ondrugs.
(01:15):
And even that night in front ofthe mirror, I was looking at
myself like, wait a minute, whywould he ask me to wait two
weeks?
You know, maybe that didn'thappen.
I found out why he asked me towait two weeks when the movie
came out.
he had to go for that meetingwith Arnold and I over to Foxton
give them the ring.
(01:35):
And he comes in there and he'slike, well, we can start filming
True Lies since I found thethird guy.
And they're like, that'sfantastic, Cameron, who is it?
And he's like, it's Tom Arnold.
They're like, Yeah, that'shorrible.
Jim Cameron.
He's like, why do you say that?
They're like, don't you read thetabloids?
He's a crazy person.
And Jim Cameron's like, no, Idon't read the tabloids, but I
(01:56):
wrote this movie and he is
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (01:58):
Mm-hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (01:59):
And they're like, well, Jim, we're
sorry.
We cannot approve Tom Arnold.
And Jim Cameron to his creditsaid, no, no, no.
I'm the one that started.
I wanted to make the movie hairof Fox.
Now I'm going to go down thestreet and make a fucking
paramount, and they'll be like,Okay, we'll give him a chance,
kind of a day to
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (02:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (02:19):
I didn't know this, I would have
been a little disappointed.
So the Fox guys would come tothe set, I was hugging them,
telling them, Thank you forchoosing me, and all this
bullshit.
And then finally we could wrapthe movie.
And this is after all thatdivorce shit went down.
And at the end of the screening,what they do is get people, 250
people, into a theater, theydon't know what they're going to
(02:40):
watch, and they're going to raidit.
And all of a sudden it comes up.
Oh, James Cameron movie.
Yay.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Yay.
Jamie Lee Curtis.
And then it says Tom Arnold andpeople booed
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (02:54):
Oh my God.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (02:55):
by the end of that movie.
I think it lasted two hours.
By the end of that, they fillout the cards and almost
everybody, I was their favoritecharacter.
So, uh, they didn't know me.
They didn't like me at first.
They still didn't know me, butthey suddenly liked me.
That's
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (03:12):
Yeah.
Well that was like also likeyour first time like in the
public eyes super out of youknow Roseanne's shadow and that
was a huge shadow to get outfrom under at that time,
especially
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (03:23):
No, I just tried, tried to take the
high road as much as possible.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (03:29):
Yeah, yeah, the funniest stand up that
I think I've ever seen funniestlike five minutes of stand up
was the roast you did with herAnd that was absolutely
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (03:40):
That was scary.
That was a scary thing because,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (03:43):
Yeah
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (03:43):
you know, I went like this.
I knew she was doing a roastand, uh, the producer happened.
I was on Howard Stern forwhatever reason, the producer
happened to call.
And, uh, yeah, talking about theroast and I said, he goes, Joe
Gallon.
I said, he said, would you beinterested in doing the roast?
I said, well, listen, maybe, butdon't call me last minute.
(04:04):
I said, don't call me at thelast minute.
If I'm going to do it, I'm goingto do it.
I'm going to work on it.
I'm going to, you know, sonothing happens.
And then the week of the roaston Tuesday, the roast is
Saturday.
Roseanne calls, leaves a messageon my phone.
We haven't talked.
Okay.
And, uh, uh, she wants to talkto me.
(04:25):
And so I called the producer.
I said, I want to call youbecause I know if I called her
back, we'd have to tell eachother to fuck off somehow.
What does she want me to do?
He said, well, she'd like you tocome to the roast, dress as
waiter and bring her a drink.
And I go, and then what?
Well, then you leave.
Probably not going to a Roseanneroast, especially that, and not
(04:50):
doing any jokes.
That's not gonna happen.
So, uh, but thank you anyway.
So next day he calls back, Hey,you will be roasting people.
You come in, you roast the deis,Amy Schubert, Andy the other
people.
And then I go, and Roseanne?
No, you don't roast Roseanne.
(05:10):
You just roast them.
I go again.
People will be mad if it goesthat way, and I'm going to do
it.
And they call it texting.
Anything you want.
Anything you want.
So, I'm talking to my ex wifeabout it.
I said, uh, you know, I wouldlike to.
I have to be honest with you.
I haven't talked to her inyears.
(05:31):
Many years.
Many years.
I'd like to do this thing.
And, uh, you know.
And so, I called my lawyers.
I said, we'll do this.
Let's see what they're going togive me.
You know.
And then we realized there arerestraining orders against both
of us.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (05:50):
Oh god.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (05:50):
Our divorce decree has things in it
like, if she makes fun of mypenis, she has to give me 100,
000.
If I say something about hervagina, I have 100, 000.
We can't be in the same room.
We cannot be in the same room.
So they had to spend 100, 000.
All night, Friday night, thelawyers in New York, uh, opening
(06:11):
that thing up and get rid of allthat stuff just so we can be in
the same room.
And then Saturday morning of theshow, I'm sitting there, I'm,
okay, now I'm doing it.
I realized I have not worked onshit.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (06:23):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (06:23):
is what I didn't want to happen to
not have jokes ready to go.
Um, and, uh, and I talked to,uh, Jen Kirkman, who's sort of
helped me and she goes, don'tyou have anything in your head?
And I started writing it down.
I had One joke for every yearthat I've seen her.
And I said, write them down, godown there.
(06:43):
They, they hide me a lot, butit's still not a hundred percent
that I'm going to do it.
But you never know with her.
So I'm in a trailer that I hearJane, uh, Jane, what's her last
name?
A comedian that was on the showwhere she was a teacher on the
show.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:03):
Oh, yeah.
Uh, oh now you got me lynch janelynch
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (07:07):
she's great.
No, she didn't know how tospell, but she was fancy.
Um.
They had made a few jokes aboutme before I got on.
I knew they would, but you gottado it.
Um, and then all of a suddenthey moved me back to Asia.
Someone had a jaded lips notethat said, hey, oh, oh, I guess
someone would, uh, like to comeout and say hi.
(07:30):
And she said, uh, Arnold, andshe was just laughing.
I think that's what happened.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:35):
Yeah, the sheer shock on everybody's
faces was like
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (07:38):
very seldom see.
Real things like that ontelevision.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (07:41):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (07:42):
I was nervous.
That was, and I'd seen, youknow, my thing is just get to
your jokes and say somethingnice at the end.
And I, I, I believe she was overhere.
I didn't look at her.
And at the end of my jokes, I,uh, I was thinking, what do,
what did the other comics dowhen they're done over, give her
a hug or just, anyway.
(08:04):
So I walked over and it was aweird, weird, thing.
I just, and that, and I'm like,That, well, I'll get that outta
here, we'll do it again.
And she ran backstage and said,I wanna tell you what this great
way we marry the hatchet and,and all the photographers came
out.
We want a picture of you guys.
(08:24):
She's like, no, no.
I need to go to the bathroomfirst.
And so she went that way and I,I'm like, fuck it.
She doesn't want a picture.
So
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (08:33):
hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (08:34):
I, I take off and they take me to
my,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (08:36):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (08:37):
uh, my wife at the time said, how'd
it go?
I said, it went well.
Uh, they wanted a picture at theend.
And, uh, she didn't want one.
She was like, she had to go tothe bathroom.
And, uh, so I said, hell withit.
And she goes, of course, she hadto go to the bathroom.
I looked at her mirror and tooka picture of her ex husband
without looking in the mirrorand seeing what's going on.
(08:58):
I was like, oh, is that true?
Okay.
But, it was good.
It was good and, uh, nervewrecking.
Uh, but, I'm glad I did it.
I've done some other roasts,but, uh, roasting people, uh,
you know, I mean, the peoplethat are great at it are It just
gets a little weird for me whenI don't know them.
(09:20):
Or, better yet, when they don'tknow me and they're roasting me.
But, uh, who's that big guy?
He's that, uh, Jimmy, you know,great big comedian.
But this, this big.
He was very funny.
I'll tell you who he is.
And he did, it was actually aroast I'd set up.
We have this Kate Aron schoolhere in Los Angeles.
(09:42):
And Ralphie May.
Not Ralphie May.
You know, uh, it was me and, uh,Cameron, Arnold, Sam Boyce were
put together.
Axe had really built thisschool.
And at least Rose was making 4million.
And so I was being honored.
I was being honored.
And Ralphie Mays starts it up.
(10:03):
And I was like, I'm going totake you in.
I'm going to take you in.
You don't know me enough to dothis.
But you have to have a thickskin.
Because that's how it goes.
And they trashed Arnold.
You know, this one is good too.
They trashed about everything,you know, uh, and that's kind of
what, you know, they were prettypure folks, like nobody, but it
(10:26):
takes a little bit to get usedto.
Um, and it always took me alittle bit close to go rivers.
I felt I didn't want to saysomething mean, you know, and I
like watching those, uh, there'sstill,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (10:42):
got to be scary doing them because you
don't know if you're going tocross a line that's going to
burn a bridge.
Even though it's all in goodfun, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (10:47):
yeah, well, you do have to think that
way.
Roseanne, I got posted by theoriginal flyers and.
So, that was, people, theydidn't have really an audience,
it started to get televised, itwas brutal.
But, once that happens, yourealize, oh, they're doing that
with everything.
(11:08):
So, you know,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (11:10):
Tom, what are you working on now
besides being a single dad?
You got anything in the pipelinethat you're
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (11:17):
the week before Christmas, I did a
movie called, uh, somethingairplane.
And, uh, get a couple of sortsof keys.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (11:33):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-202 (11:34):
Unsuited or unsuitable.
I have a bunch of stand updates, you know,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (11:39):
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (11:43):
got two other movie things I do in
January.
I got to do what I got to do.
I mean, I really, there's no,you know, that's no joke.
I'm very grateful for my lifeand very small life.
You have to outsize.
a huge house and we really onlyhung out last week.
(12:07):
It was a nice bathroom, two bigbathrooms, wide open, huge
closets.
And, but that's where the kids,I hung out that portion of the
house.
And so this house is maybe asbig,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (12:22):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (12:22):
not the bedroom, but just the closet
and everything else.
And it's a good thing because Ikeep an eye on people.
I can hear them.
I know what, you know, if theyget scared, they come to my bed
or they just come.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (12:35):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, again, I mean, I thinkyou, at some point You know, you
kind of find happiness in placesyou didn't expect it.
Right.
When you're kind of young andhungry, it's all about, you
know, bigger, better, faster,more, more, more.
And then I think you like, atleast for me, and it sounds like
for you, you know, the, being asingle dad just changes your
entire perspective.
You know, I, I went through aperiod where I was on food
(12:56):
stamps, but I was happy andbefore that I was unhappy if I
didn't have a brand new Porsche.
Do you know what I mean?
Like it was just a.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (13:03):
it's good that we have done those
things,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:06):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (13:08):
been out and done fun things.
Partied, I've partied.
You know, that's, that's howI've, I've had sex with women in
my past.
You know, done it.
May not happen again, but it'snot, it's not a burning desire.
Um, I just, every day.
And the one good thing aboutbeing in a relationship with one
(13:29):
person is, you know, Christcaused such trouble, I just.
you know, over and over and itshows up, swats us, whatever she
does, is that I don't takeanything for granted.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:43):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025 (13:44):
variety is a day in a time, but also
with the kids, there's no issuethat goes unsolved.
I
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (13:52):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_ (13:53):
don't, I don't take for granted that
it'll be fine tomorrow.
I think when you're part of itis a moment.
There's a lot of friends thatwent through these acrimonious
divorces.
They're like, And the mom didn'twant them around the kids or
whatever, and they kind ofstepped back, and they knew,
well maybe as they get closer tobeing an adult, they'll see what
(14:13):
the real deal is.
But I didn't have that luxury, Iadmit it, you know.
And it's also the best thing formy kids.
Every, me being in their life,I'm stable, I'm, you know, um, I
understand who they are,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (14:28):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (14:28):
which I enjoy.
And, uh, so.
That's kind of the big hit.
And, you know, we had COVID soour business shut down over two
years.
Then we had the writer's strike,which took a
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (14:39):
hmm.
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (14:41):
and I was freaking out about money
then.
Uh, then I said, well, I justgot to feel like everything is
going to work out.
Just,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (14:49):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (14:50):
enjoy this time.
Kids are homeschooled.
We're around each other a lot.
Enjoy it.
And things will work out.
I think, you know, I've cut itclose before.
My credit cards have not worked.
we have cut it close that, uh,we may have bounced a couple of
checks and that feeling eventoday when I get gas,
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (15:11):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (15:11):
I kind of like nervous because
once that's happened to you, Iwas younger.
I had no money, obviously
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (15:17):
Yeah, but you never forget it Like you
go from no money when you neverhad anything it never feels
unusual that you don't have itRight, then when you go and you
kind of you know, you've got amillion in the bank at one point
or more you go Oh, this is justhow it is And then when you're
sitting there going, Oh crap,can I buy food?
Can I buy gas?
Can I pay the heat bill?
It hurts the second time.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (15:38):
does.
And I, I have made, when I wasdoing the bigger movies.
At least 50 million, which it,you know, a person go, can you
make, hey, we'll put some ofthat in the bank and we won't
buy all these houses orwhatever.
I think I I never respected themoney.
I liked it more each movie.
I like getting these things.
(15:59):
I, I, but I didn't go, Oh,this'll stop.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (16:02):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (16:03):
And, uh, I think because I, I was
more comfortable with, you know,when I was actually having to
scramble a little bit, I still,uh, I'm not poor like it was I
do make money and, uh, I'vespent over 2 million in court.
I had a retirement fund before Imet my ex wife.
(16:26):
I also had a house in BeverlyHills and those are gone.
And towards the end of thatrelationship, my thing was, I
just have to get her out of thishouse.
She can do what she wants.
Because this is untenable.
This, I'd live for a while inthe same house, one side of the
house, the other.
But, you know, that's just,yeah, that was bad.
(16:47):
It was bad for the kids, it wasbad for me, and, uh, especially
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (16:52):
is more important.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (16:53):
when she moved out, yeah, and that
was, uh, and then she just triedto break in every day since,
but, uh, but, You know, that wasimportant.
I had to stick to my guts andthere were some scary things
where she called the police andsaid, I done stuff.
And, and, you know, I have 21cameras inside and outside the
house.
Reason for this reason, not forthe telegraph.
(17:14):
And I say, Hey, have yoursupervisor come down here.
She's been here before and thenwe'll watch the film.
And they'd watch the film.
Then they'd call her out ofthere.
But that same past, because Ithink the first.
Two times that happened.
They come.
She's like, Tom Arnold is veryviolent.
He has a lot of guns.
I'm worried about my kids.
The cops would come in hot.
(17:34):
That's their job.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (17:35):
hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (17:36):
And, uh, you know, as they got to
know us, they said, if you eventhink she's gonna call us, call
us so we don't come here.
And then a judge, which is areally weird thing to put in our
stipulation, that she cannotcall the police for any reason.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (17:52):
Oh my God.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_ (17:53):
really wild.
That, that's it there, becauseshe told him so much, and, uh,
so, things are, things havegotten better, um, I think that
the usual thing of, okay, shefiles this huge thing, wants to
send me to jail for two years,tells the judge she thinks it
would be good for the kids iftheir dad went to prison for two
(18:15):
years, or be two minutes late onFaceTime, you know, and then the
judge turns to her lawyer andgoes, But I do think it's a good
use of my limited resources herein
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (18:26):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (18:27):
to get a, gather a jury right after
COVID, have a six week trial andher lawyers say, okay, no, we'll
cut it to six months so youdon't have to have a jury.
Like it's never, and then hejust crosses everything out.
And I did try to representmyself for a while.
And, uh, uh, but I was missingso much.
(18:48):
I had no.
I could not comprehend thisstuff they were doing.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (18:52):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (18:53):
They were doing it and how dangerous
that would be for me.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (18:57):
Yeah.
There's an old saying, you can'tfight crazy.
You know, you, you,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (19:00):
it is, I'll tell you what it's
like.
It's like, uh, uh, I'm Batmanuh, uh, she is the Joker and
tried to co parent, Batman triedto co parent with Joker because
Joker, Batman has rules, right?
Certain things you won't do,especially in front of the kids.
The joker will shoot is abystander.
That's really what
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (19:21):
Mm-hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (19:22):
she will do.
I can't even, you know, and alot of this is documented and
what's supposed to threaten todo something in court.
Now, the trial, she included aswell as evidence against me,
somehow, a video that I had shotof her on my first custody day,
showing up at my house and I'mputting the kids to sleep.
(19:44):
But
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (19:45):
Mm-hmm Mm-hmm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (19:47):
that, and to add to that, I've called
the police, I've been atLocksmith, I've been getting
this out, she threatens the, thenanny who's an immigrant, I've
called the police, what have I,you know, I've called Lee out by
the gate, tried to, And whathappens is it scares the Danny,
she opens up the door, the kidscome out, um, you know, uh, they
were asleep, and, uh, and so sheends up grabbing our little
(20:09):
daughter and peel it off of her,she leaves our son on the curb
with, uh, this rabbit, becauseit's always obvious what she's
interested in, and, uh, youknow, those, uh, that kind of
behavior, and then for me, thejudge to say, well, look, you
got a video attached to thisLet's see the video, which is so
great that we sat there watchingthat video because the judge was
(20:32):
like, oh my god.
And the video includes her doingall that stuff, which is taken
kids or threatened kids, uh, uh,is contempt of court.
It's a court order and you'resaying, no, I'm ignoring it.
You are contemptuous.
You have to be And then whatshe's filed for domestic
(20:52):
violence restraining orders for,uh, things like.
He, uh, says me too manymessages or, you know, he, uh,
you know, uh, he's donewhatever, um, but but her
behavior in that video, whichthe court saw is within the
California domestic violencelaw, it's definitely the
(21:14):
threats, the stuff that is, andthen the yanking of the kids,
uh, And the, and the sabotage inher bedtime, that, that is, uh,
that's, uh, in my opinion,that's child abuse.
So she put a video that showsher doing all these things, and
then it's included in that videois a letter that she wrote to
(21:37):
her, uh, therapist.
She was working with Dr.
Robin Hurwitz, very official,someone she saw on TV.
She liked him because he wasLisa's friend.
And she said, I'd fire youbecause you said that Tom was a
better parent.
I mean, she put that
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (21:53):
my, yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (21:54):
I can't trust like that her
therapist after examining, youknow, so, I mean, that's, it's
a, I, it's a piece of gold tome.
And I will say this aboutwatching her watch it.
She's like, I can't even look atit.
I can't.
And by the Lord saying, you knowwhat it is though?
Cause you attached it like yourlawyer knows this, whatever.
(22:15):
And I'm watching her.
It's a weird thing.
because she is so offended bythat video that I said video of
her behavior.
And it doesn't cross her mind togo.
I'm embarrassed by bad behavior.
Listen, I get my behavior.
I get embarrassed sometimes whenI'm too loud with the kids and
stuff.
And, but she, as she is often ina different world, I have to
(22:39):
tell you that.
So hopefully this'll be, youknow, again, you spend all your
money is stressful for the kids.
But hopefully we're gettingsomewhere.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (22:49):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hope so too.
I, I, that's a, a lot to gothrough and to still try to, you
know.
Work and provide for yourselfwith that level of distraction
in the background and inconstant dread and threat.
It's not easy.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (23:01):
You gotta think, but it was worse
when we lived together.
I knew pretty quick with thekids, Oh, some's over there.
This is not going to be, uh, youknow, she'd do a thing.
Like I'd come home from workexhausted.
She'd wake me up.
She wants to fight me to die.
It was
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (23:16):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (23:18):
I, let's take it to the morning,
whatever it is.
She goes, well, I'm gonna gowake jacks up.
Our son, he was four.
I'm gonna wake him up, tell himwe're getting divorced.
I go, oh, don't do that.
That's terrible idea.
And I got to the door to stopher every time.
But one, she got out the door,woke him out of it.
Sounds like your mom and dad aregetting divorced.
(23:38):
We want you to know, like, it'sso crazy, traumatizing, you
know, but that's her.
does guardrails.
There's no, uh, you know, shelies every time she Opens her
mouth.
It's complicated to do anythingwith her because to get
something done that's good Wehave to figure out a way to make
that her idea
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (23:59):
Yeah, yeah
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (24:00):
And you know, you can also see the
kids they're like, yeah, I don'twant to go there I don't want
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (24:06):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (24:06):
you know, uh, but but you know, this
is the way it is and I just hopeto survive I've had some health
issues.
Um, she's
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (24:15):
I heard you had a mini stroke a
while back.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (24:18):
I've had organ failure almost five
years ago and I had two twoviruses And I was on life
support for 11 days before UCLA,and, uh, Even then, I only
FaceTimed my kids once while Iwas hospital because I wanted to
ventilate her out.
I wanted, I was telling mybrother, get the good reports,
(24:39):
but one day I kind of got ittogether, didn't have anything
coming out of my body, and had anice little FaceTime with them.
And then the day I got out, Itried to FaceTime them, and she
wouldn't let me, which is crazy.
And then I was going to pickthem up the next day, and she
said, I'm not the least of thekids.
I didn't know everything aboutyour medical.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (25:00):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (25:00):
And, you know, who's gonna be at the
house?
Are you, who's gonna beovernight?
I had a nurse and I had, and Iwas a little, you know, winded.
I wasn't a hundred percent, butI needed to get the kids.
I had a nurse and a daddy todrive me over.
And so the kids, they see me,they come running and just give
me great hugs.
They're so happy to see me andit's all great.
(25:23):
And so I get to, uh, uh, startwalking, walk towards the car
and she appears on the secondfloor balcony.
And she's like, Lobbyist.
She's like, he's bad for thisfucking building.
Call the police.
Call the police.
I, I, man, we gotta roll again.
I'm, and I'm carrying all thetoys they've taken outta my
house.
When we get in the car, we pullaway.
(25:44):
Everything's good.
I'm grateful to be alive.
I'm grateful to have these guysright here and, uh.
My son's like, daddy, mom criedwhen she heard about your
gospel.
I was like, Oh my God, that isso sweet.
And he's like, she cried becauseyou lived.
She has a life insurance policy,a two million dollar life
insurance policy I had to pay.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:05):
my god.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (26:06):
And I genuinely believe she cried
because I lived.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:09):
Yeah.
Well, at least you know exactlywhat you're worth to her at that
point, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (26:14):
So I calculated, my daughter died
last week, on the 18th.
And I think the, uh, this lifeinsurance She'll be able to
control it until the day mydaughter turns 18.
So I mean, I just got to livetill then that the kids can
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:32):
Mm hmm.
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (26:33):
But um, yeah, there's more to come.
I, my kids are very smart.
I, early on people said, well,don't worry because when
they're, when they're seven, youknow, they'll understand.
Is that my phone making sounds?
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (26:47):
I believe it was.
Yeah,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (26:48):
When they're seven, they'll, uh,
they'll understand.
So I was like, I don't want thatto happen to Dudos when they're
seven.
Dudos, we're all people.
Do I have to?
He goes, what do you want?
I go, 50 50, custody.
And he's like, no, you don't.
I go, what?
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (27:05):
hmm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (27:06):
Well, wait until they're eight and
they're born five.
I go, no, I want to do it all.
I am going to do it all.
I can do it all.
There's nothing I can't do thata mother can do.
And I'm going to do it all.
And, um, and so that's been thething.
And I, I get that more becausethey come back here early, but,
(27:26):
um, you know, it's very, verysatisfying and you're growing up
interesting and funny, and theygot their own stuff and, you
know, like we had the sleepoverwith four boys last night, which
is a complicated thing.
I've had the same sleepover withmy daughter, very complicated.
Cause we have three kids.
Two of them split off, so thatpeople's feelings are hurt.
(27:49):
Daddy, they are talking to me,whatever I do, whatever.
But if you have four, they do,the boys are a lot easier, but
they'll go two and two.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (27:58):
mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (27:59):
And, uh, the
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (28:00):
Yeah, the girls are kind of gang up on
each other, and one gets
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (28:03):
girl stuff, the girl stuff is way,
the boy stuff, sometimes they'llbe like, being abusive verbally,
calling each other names,calling each other names.
You know, and, uh, and I don'tlike that either.
Cause sometimes you get a kidthat's very sensitive.
We've had two, two kids thatnever had a sleepover that were
over here.
And I take that very seriouslybecause their parents trust me,
(28:24):
respect me enough to keep an eyeon shit and make sure that it
goes on.
And we really do a good job herebecause we we do stuff like they
want to eat.
Okay.
We go to the store, buy what youwant to cook.
You guys got to cook at all.
And it's been a, you know, yousee their self esteem.
Uh, they made fried chicken lastnight.
(28:45):
We all got the table.
They all ate together.
And when they were very young, Isaid, well, Sounds like you, you
could do better.
So you, my daughter would crackthe eggs, little daughter in a
high chair.
And my son would bake thebreakfast and then they eat it
because they made it.
I think mine was better, butonce they, once I said, well,
(29:07):
you just need to bake whatever,and then they kind of got into
cooking stuff, like learning howto do this, that they make a lot
of cakes.
They do stuff.
Um, so anytime you can empowerthem.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (29:18):
mm hmm,
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (29:18):
these are their ideas and, uh, you
know, but they're interestingkids that, uh, I have heard
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (29:26):
yeah.
So, do you have a, since it'sNew Year's, do you have a New
Year's resolution this year?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (29:32):
And I'm lucky to be alive and I just
take.
People say, I turned 65 lastyear, and they're like, does it
bother you getting older?
And I'm like, no, it doesn't.
I'm glad.
I'm happy.
I like being alive.
I like it.
It's my favorite thing, eachday.
And I really think that each dayis, you know, I've had a couple
(29:52):
other issues, had two majorcancer surgeries last year, and
complications.
It's the complications, let metell you.
It's the infection, but youknow, and those are always the
type she follows and stuff, butI work fine, but she had a
stroke.
She follows like it's likecruelty, but you know, uh, I do
(30:12):
have, I do take care of myselfphysiologically too.
I do.
I, after my stroke, I gave 80pounds before it and I was
thinking, what could have causedthat?
Look at a beard.
I had a beard so you couldn'ttell bad it was, beards are
sweatpants for the face for bit.
You really can't tell.
But I really changed a lot ofthings about my life and the
(30:35):
kids let me do it, you know, thekids want my attention.
Uh, when I first started workingout at the front of this house
before the stroke, as soon as Igot the headphones on, man, I've
listened to my feet.
They're standing right there.
They are standing right there.
He did this.
He did this.
Yeah.
So, so that was quick.
And a lot of times they didn'tquit.
(30:55):
I blame them do this.
What's going on.
But now they'll, uh, you know,if, if I get it, my daughter
will put me on a timer, which isgood because I'll say, okay,
this is how long I'm going togo.
I'm all yours.
But the, uh, the one day Iactually heard Jack say this,
this, dad needs to do this forhis mental health.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:15):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (31:16):
Okay.
She's like, okay.
But you know, they, they learneda little
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:20):
Oh, yeah.
And you lose 80 pounds, andwhere's Jenny Craig when you
need him now, right?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (31:25):
that story, you know, you know, that
story, right?
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:28):
Yeah.
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (31:30):
That was a good deal.
There's a couple of good deals.
I had, I was the Arby's oven bit
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (31:35):
Mm hmm.
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (31:37):
And that is the highest paid job
ever.
You do the commercials TV.
Then you do the voice for radioand you just make hundreds of
hundreds of thousand dollarsmore, just going in and doing
these liners.
It is very low paid deal.
movement that it just keepspaying off.
(31:57):
And, uh, that job is that JennyCraig would have been one of
those jobs, but it did not workout.
Rosanna and I were not the idealpeople to lose 20 pounds.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (32:11):
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09 (32:11):
I'll just say she offered, uh, 10
million to lose 20 pounds.
She offered Jenny Craiglegitimately.
We're like, hell yes, uh, we, wecan build a school with 20, 000.
We can do this and, uh, and wecan afford to lose 20, 000
perhaps.
Let's do this shit.
So they come over the house, allthe new Jenny Craig food, Jenny
Craig, ice cream bars, tastesjust like the real ones.
(32:32):
I was having like 20 of thosefor breakfast.
20, Jenny Craig buffet, JennyCraig buffet.
And it turns out it's notunlimited, J.
D.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (32:42):
Yeah.
You gotta pace yourself.
Mm
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (32:44):
I can eat all of this.
And they don't let you just sayyou lost 20 pounds like they
should.
It's just worship.
Well, I lost 20 pounds.
Let's just worship.
Because of a game show scandalin the 50s.
It's a federal offense to dothat.
They have to have a scientistweigh you.
And scientists at the FloridaHouse and we were gated weight.
I'd push her up back as she goton the scale.
(33:06):
You know, you could lose alittle pounds if you, Which so
forth and I done that I couldget no more pounds on her or me.
And so we're gaining weight.
It's embarrassing.
And I said, man, we could, uh,people think we're nuts.
You know, we can build a schoolwith Timmy.
Let's do that.
Plus again, we can lose 20pounds.
Healthy boys.
(33:27):
And we said, we do husband andwife.
I was a wife 24 seven.
I'm her sponsor.
She's my sponsor.
That's what we're going to dothis shit.
And we bought this at brothastudio and When I get home from
the studio, day one, I walk inthe kitchen.
We have big island to sit at inthe kitchen.
And I walked behind her.
(33:48):
She's eating a bag of jadedcrank chocolate chip cookies.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (33:50):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (33:51):
I'm her sponsor.
I'm there to help her.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (33:53):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (33:54):
go up behind her, grab the cookies,
throw them up against
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (33:57):
You gotta get the cookies away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0 (34:00):
there was also a block of wood there
with nine knives on the island.
And so it scared her when Igrabbed the cookie.
So she comes back.
She's got the knife and holdsup.
And I'm like, okay, you're notgood at this.
And yeah, yeah, she is.
So she stabs me.
So, which would be funny if wewere married 40 years ago.
Hey, remember when you stabbedme?
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (34:21):
That'd be one of those things, Hey,
remember back then when youaccidentally did that and we've
been happy ever since?
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_09105 (34:27):
A lot of guys get stabbed.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (34:28):
Yeah.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (34:29):
So, um, I was like, I had many
moments like this.
What would normal people do now?
I've been stabbed.
What would normal people do?
Uh, will they call 9 1 1?
Uh, and, uh, heads up, if youcall 9 1 1, It will be recorded
and whatever you say will beplayed back on the news.
(34:51):
So you might want to think aboutwhat you're going to say.
So I call him, I go, Hey,listen, uh, Rosie Dyer on this
diet, uh, for Jenny Craig and,uh, you know, uh, situation
happened.
I walk in, she's eating baked,great chocolate chip cookies.
I respond.
So I take him away for, I thinkit scared her because she
grabbed a knife and then shestabbed me.
(35:12):
And, uh, so what's our nextmove?
I think they, they do.
The person is like, I think youshould handle this in house.
And I would go, that's exactlywhat I was saying.
We got it.
We got it.
Yeah.
So it's pretty funny story.
And, but Jenny Craig, when sheheard on the news, fired us.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (35:31):
Mm hmm.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (35:31):
we did not get 10, 000.
And, uh, as you fired it,because that wasn't the branding
she was going for.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (35:39):
Yeah.
It's a shame that Snickerswasn't doing the you're not
yourself when you're hangrything back then that you could
have cashed in.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_0910 (35:44):
it should have, Jenny Craig, you'll
be so hungry.
You'll stab your husband, JennyCraig.
So I think this day and age,they would have made it work.
Uh, like, something, uh, uh,particular with the two crazy
people that did it, but.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (35:58):
Yeah.
They hadn't heard that allpublicity is good publicity.
tom-arnold_2_01-01-2025_091 (36:02):
But it it came and took all their
food out of our freezers.
All the J.
D.
Creek, took all the ice creambars to go.
john_3_01-01-2025_121059 (36:08):
Gone over time here, and I feel bad
that I've eaten up more of yourtime here, I think, than we were
planning on.
Genuinely appreciate all thetime.
I really enjoyed our chat.
Tom, thank you for sharing yourincredible journey with us
today.
From small town Iowa toHollywood to wherever life takes
you next, your story is atestament to resilience,
reinvention, and the power ofhumor.
(36:30):
Listeners, if you enjoyedtoday's episode, make sure to
subscribe to Beans to Billions.
Leave us a review and share thisepisode with somebody who could
use a laugh, or a little bit ofinspiration.
Until next time, keep pushing,keep believing, and remember,
every great success story startswith humble beginnings.
See you on the next episode ofBeans to Billions.
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