Beat Around The Bench Podcast

STEP RIGHT UP FOLKS FOR EPISODE 131 OF BEAT AROUND THE BENCH

Thats right ladies and gentlemen we got your hosts Jess Colton and Ross serving up the finest woodworking podcast this side of the Mississippi and theyre diving deep into Osage orange wood like you never heard before. Blue Osage Cult baby because nothing says rock and roll like dense hardwood that weighs more than your anvil.

You want vegetables with that? Course yo...

Episode 130 Barenaked Larch - A Critical Review

★★★★½

What a remarkable evening at the podcast theater! This latest production from the Beat Around the Bench ensemble masterfully blends botanical education with culinary discourse while maintaining an absurdist comedy undercurrent that would make Beckett weep into his sawdust.

The opening act establishes dramatic tension with a philosophical inquiry into larch itself, revealing...

In a world where Staceys mom has got it going on and one hit wonders reign supreme the crew unleashes the ultimate debate about fake bands that never existed but rocked harder than reality itself from Matt Damons legendary Euro Trip performance of Scotty Doesnt Know to Tom Hanks timeless That Thing You Do these fictional musicians changed the game forever

Three men face their greatest challenge yet choosing their favorite pa...

Jess makes his triumphant return after an amazing Puerto Rico vacation where he spent days laying by the pool eating taking naps and exploring the islands and he worked until 745 PM then drove an hour to make it to the podcast recording because he is a true champion

The crew dives into Puerto Rico real estate opportunities where Jess discovered you can live in downtown San Juan for just a thousand bucks a month in a two story ap...

The crew welcomes special guest Lee Dumond from Busted Knuckle Woodworks who is recording from his incredibly organized shop in Austin Texas and is about to hit the magical 100,000 subscriber milestone on YouTube after three years of grinding which means he will finally get that silver play button

Lee drops some serious knowledge about why hitting 100K on YouTube is actually meaningful because the verification checkmark you get ...

The guys agree that Alanis Mortise Set might be the best episode title so far and kick off Thanksgiving week with Colton already up in Tioga at his in laws place chopping wood and doing horse stuff while Jess is staying local because they have a big trip planned for early December

Ross reveals his Thanksgiving menu game is next level with a 12 to 14 hour Cajun smoked turkey using mesquite wood and injecting flavor underneath the...

The crew kicks off with an epic hot sauce showdown where Jess reveals his new number one favorite is Lolas hot sauce especially the regga original which is absolutely insane on tacos and their ghost pepper version which is surprisingly not too crazy hot because it is mostly jalapenos with some ghost pepper and has this amazing smoky flavor that he discovered when Dixies was going out of business at 95 percent off

Colton shares h...

The crew welcomes special guest Chad Schimmel from Turners Warehouse who Colton literally ran into by accident when he called their shop at 450 PM on one of his last days in Arizona and they were still waiting for the mail so he got to tour the whole facility and meet Chad who has been using the mullet technique ever since

Chad shares his incredible journey from being a woodturner hobbyist in Arizona to building a full time busi...

The crew starts off talking about Florence and the Machine and how Dog Days Are Over was that one massive hit that everyone has heard but might not realize who sings it which leads to some fun nostalgia about early 2010s music

Jess shares an incredible story about a Mexican TikToker who started with just 700 dollars in his pocket living in his car and now travels to all 50 states reviewing tacos and burritos with his cousin whil...

The guys kick things off with some hilarious memories about House of Pain's Jump Around and how it became the ultimate party anthem at college house parties and even makes entire stadiums literally shake at University of Wisconsin football games

Halloween candy showdown gets real as the crew debates their favorites from Snickers and Reese's to the controversial Almond Joy while Colton defends his love of coconut in every...

• Jess, Colton and Ross kick things off with a hilarious deep dive into their favorite food bowls, from Mexican rice bowls to Mediterranean cauliflower shawarma, proving that woodworkers know their way around both a workshop and a kitchen

• The guys get real about plywood selection for cabinet making and why choosing the right material can make or break your project, especially when you're dealing with painted versus st...

• Burger bonanza kicks off with Five Guys extra bacon recommendations competing against Kuma's Corner heavy metal burger joints serving half-pound pretzel bun creations named after metal bands while Goblin Cock burger combines Vienna beef hot dog toppings creating food comas lasting entire weekends

• Guest introduction welcomes Justin Hobart from Ambrose Design whose woodworking journey began working maximum security prison sixt...

• Salad showdown opens with Greek salads loaded with gyro meat competing against Caesar dressing anchovy mysteries while coleslaw divides the group between vinegar-based Carolina styles and mayonnaise-heavy Southern versions plus jalapeño variations that actually work

• New Patreon spotlight welcomes Greg Wally from Plat Valley Woodworks to the supporter family while Colton battles Centerpoint Energy over pole installations requirin...

• Chocolate confessions launch the show with dark chocolate sea salt pretzels competing against chocolate peanut butter fudge brownies while Jess describes Halloween ghost cupcakes involving Oreos with orange filling and brownie mix creating spooky treats that impressed his wife Ashley's seasonal decoration obsession

• Baby Charlie steals the spotlight making surprise camera appearances during Colton's solo dad duties while ...

• Fried food fantasies launch the show with cheese curds versus spicy chicken sandwiches while Jess drops knowledge about fried lasagna rolls from Dirty Dick's Crab House and Ross explores Scotch eggs plus Italian arancini balls from county fair adventures featuring fried butter on sticks

• Dovetail precision becomes the star as Ross tackles twelve jewelry cabinet drawers using his trusty 1998 Porter Cable router with digital ca...

• Crustacean talk kicks things off with crawfish boils described as eating cockroaches from ditches while Ross discovers Virginia Beach crab cakes the size of baseballs with zero filler that make landlocked Chicagoland versions look like sad breadcrumb sandwiches

• Colton finally pulls the trigger on shop electricity after writing Centerpoint a check though the five to eight week wait has him considering temporary power solutions wh...

• Frozen dessert dreams kick off the show with Mexican coconut ice cream bars rocket pops and fruit puree sticks because nothing says Labor Day weekend like arguing about which popsicle reigns supreme while your hands get covered in sugary goo

• Fall prep mode officially activated as the guys discuss seasonal shop changes with Ross dealing with spider and critter invasions while Jess gets excited about cooler weather meaning longer ...

• Jess makes his glorious comeback after getting knocked down by heat exhaustion that turned into full exorcist mode puking for 24 hours plus dealing with a plumbing leak that delayed recording because Florida construction never goes according to plan

• Sushi talk gets deep with grocery store Publix five dollar Wednesday deals and the eternal debate about cream cheese in sushi rolls while Ross admits he goes for the over the top dyn...

• David returns as their first repeat guest to share the wild story of how he fought to get his company back after selling just 15 percent to a partner whose lawyer secretly worked against him in what sounds like a business nightmare straight out of a thriller movie

• The heartbreaking loss of Speed the retired cop who was Davids right hand man at the shop in 2020 changed everything and forced them to completely rethink how they ope...