Beat Around The Bench Podcast

Ross is back. Jess is missing in action. And it was almost the shortest episode in Beat Around the Bench history because a tornado showed up and tried to end the whole thing early.

That is not an exaggeration.

But before nature launched its attack, Ross dropped a full debrief from his trip to London and Edinburgh and it is everything you want it to be. The man walked through 800 year old doorways. He stood inside Edinburgh Castle whe...

One man is sick. Actually scratch that. One man is completely destroyed. Colton showed up to record this podcast after a week that included a Creed concert, a karaoke night, felling trees across his yard, and what he describes as looking, feeling, and sounding like hammer dog you-know-what. And yet here he is. A true hero of the craft.

But before the sawdust flies, the crew does what they always do first and they talk food. Specific...

Season four keeps rolling and the boys are back with another episode that somehow manages to cover hot dogs, diesel engine engineering, sharpening stone philosophy, wood trivia, and a legitimate debate about whether you should own a tow strap before they wrap things up just over an hour.

The episode opens with everyone sharing their go-to hot dog order. Ross goes full Chicago style — poppy seed bun, Vienna beef, mustard, celery salt...

Season four is officially here and the guys are kicking things off in the best way they know how — a little food talk, a lot of woodworking problem solving, a full round of rapid fire trivia, and some genuinely useful shop and business tips sprinkled in for good measure.

The guys open with the new season four title theme, which is TV show names, and they could not have picked a better opener than Desperate Hardwoods. Things get comf...

Season 3 Finale - Ross and Colton hold it down while Jess recovers

Stadium Food Debate

• Ross kicks things off asking what you have to eat every time you walk into an arena - sparked by the legendary Costco hot dog at a buck fifty
• Colton goes giant beer first, then a thick hot dog with relish and the brownest spicy mustard he can find
• Ross makes the case for the Chicago dog - Vienna beef, poppy seed bun, neon green relish, tomato, di...

The Boys bring the usual chaos and somehow still manage to drop serious value along the way.

The guys kick things off debating which foods deserve to be wiped off the planet forever. Colton goes after applesauce for texture crimes, Ross makes a passionate case against cottage cheese calling it lumpy almost-spoiled milk, and Jess wants yellow squash gone for good. Ross also throws shade at mushrooms and beets noting they both taste l...

Good morning ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking and welcome aboard Beat Around the Bench Airlines flight 132 with nonstop service to Sassafras Country. Were cruising at an altitude of pure woodworking knowledge with your flight crew Jess Colton and Ross. Flight time today covers espresso machines hand tool techniques cutting board construction and sassafras wood discussion. Seatbelts fastened dust masks in upright p...

STEP RIGHT UP FOLKS FOR EPISODE 131 OF BEAT AROUND THE BENCH

Thats right ladies and gentlemen we got your hosts Jess Colton and Ross serving up the finest woodworking podcast this side of the Mississippi and theyre diving deep into Osage orange wood like you never heard before. Blue Osage Cult baby because nothing says rock and roll like dense hardwood that weighs more than your anvil.

You want vegetables with that? Course yo...

Episode 130 Barenaked Larch - A Critical Review

★★★★½

What a remarkable evening at the podcast theater! This latest production from the Beat Around the Bench ensemble masterfully blends botanical education with culinary discourse while maintaining an absurdist comedy undercurrent that would make Beckett weep into his sawdust.

The opening act establishes dramatic tension with a philosophical inquiry into larch itself, revealing...

In a world where Staceys mom has got it going on and one hit wonders reign supreme the crew unleashes the ultimate debate about fake bands that never existed but rocked harder than reality itself from Matt Damons legendary Euro Trip performance of Scotty Doesnt Know to Tom Hanks timeless That Thing You Do these fictional musicians changed the game forever

Three men face their greatest challenge yet choosing their favorite pa...

Jess makes his triumphant return after an amazing Puerto Rico vacation where he spent days laying by the pool eating taking naps and exploring the islands and he worked until 745 PM then drove an hour to make it to the podcast recording because he is a true champion

The crew dives into Puerto Rico real estate opportunities where Jess discovered you can live in downtown San Juan for just a thousand bucks a month in a two story ap...

The crew welcomes special guest Lee Dumond from Busted Knuckle Woodworks who is recording from his incredibly organized shop in Austin Texas and is about to hit the magical 100,000 subscriber milestone on YouTube after three years of grinding which means he will finally get that silver play button

Lee drops some serious knowledge about why hitting 100K on YouTube is actually meaningful because the verification checkmark you get ...

The guys agree that Alanis Mortise Set might be the best episode title so far and kick off Thanksgiving week with Colton already up in Tioga at his in laws place chopping wood and doing horse stuff while Jess is staying local because they have a big trip planned for early December

Ross reveals his Thanksgiving menu game is next level with a 12 to 14 hour Cajun smoked turkey using mesquite wood and injecting flavor underneath the...

The crew kicks off with an epic hot sauce showdown where Jess reveals his new number one favorite is Lolas hot sauce especially the regga original which is absolutely insane on tacos and their ghost pepper version which is surprisingly not too crazy hot because it is mostly jalapenos with some ghost pepper and has this amazing smoky flavor that he discovered when Dixies was going out of business at 95 percent off

Colton shares h...

The crew welcomes special guest Chad Schimmel from Turners Warehouse who Colton literally ran into by accident when he called their shop at 450 PM on one of his last days in Arizona and they were still waiting for the mail so he got to tour the whole facility and meet Chad who has been using the mullet technique ever since

Chad shares his incredible journey from being a woodturner hobbyist in Arizona to building a full time busi...

The crew starts off talking about Florence and the Machine and how Dog Days Are Over was that one massive hit that everyone has heard but might not realize who sings it which leads to some fun nostalgia about early 2010s music

Jess shares an incredible story about a Mexican TikToker who started with just 700 dollars in his pocket living in his car and now travels to all 50 states reviewing tacos and burritos with his cousin whil...

The guys kick things off with some hilarious memories about House of Pain's Jump Around and how it became the ultimate party anthem at college house parties and even makes entire stadiums literally shake at University of Wisconsin football games

Halloween candy showdown gets real as the crew debates their favorites from Snickers and Reese's to the controversial Almond Joy while Colton defends his love of coconut in every...

• Jess, Colton and Ross kick things off with a hilarious deep dive into their favorite food bowls, from Mexican rice bowls to Mediterranean cauliflower shawarma, proving that woodworkers know their way around both a workshop and a kitchen

• The guys get real about plywood selection for cabinet making and why choosing the right material can make or break your project, especially when you're dealing with painted versus st...