August 6, 2025 • 30 mins
What if the most powerful regulation tool for your child has been sitting right under their nose all along?In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by breathwork facilitator and trainer Kurtis Lee Thomas to talk about the overlooked power of the breath — not just for calming down in the moment, but for deep emotional healing and nervous system regulation. Kurtis breaks down how breathwork helps both parents and kids release stuck emotions, build emotional intelligence, and move from chaos to calm.
We also explore:
This episode is full of practical wisdom, deep insight, and a fresh take on what emotional regulation really looks like. Take a deep breath, literally, and come listen in.
Tune in now and experience the power of the breath.
You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.
Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/323
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
We also explore:
- Why breathwork works fast
- How to simplify it so even your reluctant teen or sensory-sensitive kid can engage
- Easy rituals to incorporate it into your family’s daily life
- Why your child’s self-awareness starts with your breath
This episode is full of practical wisdom, deep insight, and a fresh take on what emotional regulation really looks like. Take a deep breath, literally, and come listen in.
Tune in now and experience the power of the breath.
You can find additional resources at parentingadhdandautism.com and Regulated Kids.com — because it’s not just about the struggles, it’s about progress, one step at a time.
Show notes and more resources at parentingadhdandautism.com/323
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/beautifully-complex--6137613/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
The body is a living library for all of our stresses, traumas, heartbreaks, failures.
That's why they say the issues are in the tissues.
And what happens is our diaphragms get stressed and tense,
where we can no longer breathe down deep into our
bellies and on a subconscious level where the human body
holds the most emotion is actually in the belly and
(00:23):
around the hips.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Welcome to beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really
means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I'm
Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough and transformative
this journey can be. Let's dive in and discover how
to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. Oh and
(00:46):
if you want more support, join our free community at
hub dot beautifully complex dot life. Hi everyone, welcome back
to beautifully Complex. Today. I have with me Curtis Lee Thomas,
who transforms lives through breath work. So we're going to
(01:07):
talk all about using breath work both for parents and
for kids to help with regulation, and I think we'll
talk about how it helps with other things as well.
But will you start by letting everybody know who you
are and what you do.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
All right, Well, first of all, thank you for having me.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
And my name is Curtis Lee Thomas. And yeah, I'm
a breathwork facilitator and trainer. So I not only facilitate
my own events for many years, but I've shifted about
five years ago and started certifying other people in this
modality so they can go out and teach it as well.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Awesome. Yeah, and you have a kid's book out as well, right.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I do, called The Secret of Life, Just Breathe.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Awesome. I'm sure we'll talk a little more about that
as we jump into it, but I want to start
with just defining breath work for anybody who doesn't know
what is breathwork.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
So it can get confusing because because there's many different
forms of breathwork. If you think of yoga, right, there's
many different forms of yoga.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
You have you know hot yoga, and then you have
yin yoga, and then you have you know flow yoga.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So breathwork is the umbrella term and there's many different
modalities that fall under that. And what I specialized in
is deep diaphragmatic breathwork, which is called breathwork detox, so
it's extremely somatic and cathartic. It's one of the most
powerful healing natural healing modalities on the planet. But under that,
(02:32):
I also teach different breathing techniques, but they're more for maintenance.
And I look at the deep diaphragmatic breathwork as like
the deep cleaning, and then after you get that, you know,
deep cleaning in your house, then you can have maintenance
and it's a lot easier to maintain.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, and it is a lifelong practice, right, It's not
something where we do it. Maybe we have some healing
and then we're done.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah, well we're practicing every day. Everybody's breathing. Yeah, it's
like that. It's to say it.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It's like, you know, if practice makes perfect, well, if
you keep practicing the same thing wrong over and over again,
you just get really good at doing the wrong thing.
And the problem is many of us are breathing incorrectly.
So if i'm you know, I do a lot of
large group events, and I always have in the very beginning,
everyone take a deep breath with me, al say, I
(03:23):
put your hand on your belly, put your hand on
your chest. To count of three, everyone take the deepest
breath ever, and then they go and then I watch
them and they all breathe into their chest, that clavicles
all up here. But really we're meant to breathe down
into our belly. And if you watch a dog or
a baby, watch a baby breathe. When a baby takes
a breath, in the belly moves. But how come us adults,
(03:46):
our bellies don't move anymore? And that's because something got
a hold of us called life. And in that life,
there's a lot of stress. And the body is a
living library for all of our stressors, traumas, heartbreak, failures.
That's why they say the issues are in the tissues.
And what happens is our diaphragms get stressed and tense,
(04:08):
where we can no longer breed down deep into our
bellies and on a subconscious level, where the human body
holds the most emotion is actually in the belly and
around the hips. So what we do is that sometimes
we try to cut ourselves up off from feeling quote
unquote the pains of life. Right, so we subconsciously don't
(04:28):
breede down there, But what we directly do is we
also cut off our joys from life. Because eighty percent
of our serotonins produced in our gut, and you know
that is the stuff that makes you happy. And then
eighty percent of your immune system is in your gut,
and that's the stuff that makes us healthy. So eighty
percent of our health and our happiness is in our
gut and we're not breathing the most vital life force
(04:51):
energy known to man, right, breath and oxygen into the
place that needs.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
It the most.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Wow. Yeah, And you talk about breathwork is a form
of emotional detox, and I think you just gave us
the reason why. Right, If our emotions are housed in
our belly and our hips and we're doing breath work
in that area, then we're feeling emotions, we're processing emotions.
(05:17):
Is that right?
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
And I think the most mind boggling thing about trying
to explain what I do with people. And first of all,
I tell people trying to describe breathwork is like trying
to describe a kaleidoscope to a blind person, because it's
virtually impossible to explain. It can only be experienced. Because
you know, breath work, in breathing, it's very unassuming. You're like,
(05:39):
how is breathing going to change my life. Like if
I said, Penny, hey, we're going to take this walk
in the park, and this walk is going to change
your life, Like how magical can that walk be?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Right? Yeah, it's just breathing.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
But what's so fascinating is I do these events for
It doesn't matter if I'm doing it for Nike, NASA
prison inmates. It doesn't matter. Statistically, or let's say an average,
about sixty percent of all the people in the room
will break down in tears. And it can be the
(06:11):
most masculine men. I'm working with, Navy seals, NFL athletes,
and that's because the body just holds on to so much.
And what I've learned on my own personal healing journey
is that it doesn't matter how many green juices you
drink right, or you know how many miles you can run,
(06:32):
if you're holding on to the toxic emotions of guilt, shame, regret,
or anger, you know, it's a death wish. And that's
what happens to the body, is that it holds onto
these things and it reaks havoc within our nervous system,
and then we become dysregulated and then we you know,
we think we need this pillow. We need that pillow
when really we're just holding on to so much stress
(06:53):
and accumulated stress, and that can just be from being
a single parent or being an entrepreneur and having to
take care of employee before you you know, whatever that
may be, and we just need the proper tools. And
I was just mind blowing myself because I was already
in this work for a decade as a certified Life Coach,
hipn the Therapist, NLP practitioner, Reiki master, and over a decade,
(07:15):
I didn't know this breathing technique existed, and it wasn't
until I had the stomach condition where doctors couldn't heal me,
they couldn't diagnose me. I was suffering for five years
and I did every test you can imagine, colonoscopy, endoscopy.
I didn't even know you can swallow a freaking pill.
Camera that's like.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
That's big. And I saw the camera, I'm like, oh wow,
that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
They couldn't find anything. And then I found this lost
ancient breathing technique that's been recently resurfaced, and I did
one session Penny, and it completely eradicated my stomach condition
where doctors couldn't even fix me, diagnose me. And I'm
a very skeptical, logical, analytical person, you know, I maybe
(07:57):
I don't know, like I got to see it to
believe it, and I couldn't wrap my head around how
I did all these things and this one technique is
what did it. But then it hit me, I'm like,
you know what these doctors didn't know was wrong with me?
Because my issue wasn't physical, right, it was it was emotional,
it was energetic.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
And they don't understand that.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
And I think the future of wellness is where East
medicine meets Western medicine, like they have to come together
because I'm not the woo woo person where I'm like,
you know, you break my arm, you know, give me
a painkiller, I got a cavity, give me the novacate.
So I'm very much, you know, balanced in that. But
there's a lot that we don't know and doctors don't
(08:37):
know about emotional healing.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And emotion is everything. It's the core of the human
experience and it does dictate how we feel. What we're
doing with our emotions dictates how we feel. And I
think culturally we're taught to not share our emotions to
hold them in unless they're the you know, and I'm
giving air quotes here for people who are just listening
the positive emotions, right, And all emotions are natural. All
(09:03):
emotions are just part of life. And I talk a
lot about helping kids to recognize that, to facilitate that
understanding for our kids so that they can process emotion
so it doesn't eat them up when they're stuffing it down. Right,
How can breathwork sort of bridge the gap between this
(09:25):
emotional dysregulation maybe we're holding it in or our kids
don't know how to process it in ways that are
healthy yet, and kind of self awareness for them, because
so many neurodivergent kids really struggle with self awareness, and
so I imagine that breathwork can really help sort of
tie that together and build more awareness. Would you agree
(09:47):
with that?
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yeah, you actually nailed that.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
So I was going to say that when you were talking,
is you know, most adults don't have the tools and
know what to do, and they're dysregulators, so we can't
expect the children to the main thing is self awareness, right,
and that is parent checking in with the kid. You know, Hey,
how are you feeling right now? We're doing cool and
fun exercises. You know, where do you feel heavy in
(10:11):
your body right now? Where do you feel happy in
your body right now? And it gets something got out
of their mind, which is where we all live, and
into their body. Yep, you know, which is a really
good exercise because you know, the mind is it's a
bad neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
We don't want to live there, to drive by locked
the doors. You know a lot of crazy things go
on there.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
But we get into our body and really get in
tune and see how we feel. That's the first step
and is putting awareness and consciousness in Wow, how do
I feel? How am I breathing right now?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
You know?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Where do I feel heaviness in my body? And after
you have that awareness, well you just need a couple tools.
And breath work is the best because you know, the
breath has vital life force energy that awakens the cells
in the body, idolize them, and the cells have memory.
(11:03):
And the breath is a very interesting thing because it's
the only system in the body that we can control
but then also works on its own. And you know,
we never get the instruction manual to the breath and
the most you know amazing organic inner technology you know
that we have.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
And there's monks and the Himalayas that will go in
you know, frigid sub below temperatures and get wet sheets,
put them on.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Their body and then using a special breath technique, they'll
heat up the sheets so they start steaming.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
So it's like, you know, that's another level.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Don't get me wrong, but it shows like what the
breath can can do, and it'll take you out of
a panic attack faster than any pill you.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Can swallow, because if you're just swallowing the pill.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
And this is coming from experience, I was on lexapro
and at a van and you know, I was riddled
with anxiety. And when you take a pill you swallow,
it has to go into your stomach and then has
to break down and then go through a small intestine.
It's like, you know, it could be twenty minutes, but
you can do a short breathing technique and in two
minutes completely regulate your system. So I think breath work
(12:11):
doesn't get the credit that it does is because it's
too simple. Yeah, it's too simple, and it's literally been
right under our noses the entire time.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yeah. I like the little joke because if can go,
it's literally right under these.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
It's a good trick for kids though, like young kids
to teach them to do it. I love that. What
other sort of tips do you have or strategies do
(12:47):
you have to simplify breathwork or to engage kids in breathwork?
I think you know, we don't want to add to
our daily lives. We're already overwhelmed, it's chaotic. How do
we listen to everyday life so that we can help
our kids regulate? Like breathborg is the ultimate regulation strategy,
(13:08):
I think, and so we can use it anywhere, right,
But how do we help our kids engage?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Well, we help our kids engage by us engaging. Make
it a part of our life, the parents' life. And
I wrote three books. I'm working on my fourth right now.
And then I coach some people who are working on
their books and I tell them, listen, writing a book
isn't hard.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Sitting down to write the book is hard. That means
making the.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Decision that I'm gonna do this at this time and
I'm going to implement this in my life.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
And it's just making that commitment. Now.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
The good thing about the breath is that you only
need two minutes, two minutes here, two minutes there. Even
if you did just two minutes a day, you know,
that's enough to affect your nervous system. So one, I
wouldn't go out and try to learn all the.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Breathing techniques because if you try to learn them all,
then you end up doing none of them.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
So for sure, you want to use a technique. So
the easiest one is box breathing, which is you, you know,
breathe in through your nose for four seconds, and then
you pause for four seconds, and then you breathe out
for four seconds, pause for four seconds, breathe in for
four seconds. So you're literally doing this box breathing in
(14:26):
four second intervals and at the top and the bottom
of each breath you're holding for four seconds. And what
this does is it gets you into parasympathetic, which is
your rest in digest and most people are stuck in
their sympathetic nervous system, which is their fight or flight
and that's their default mode. So training the body to
go back into parasympathetic where it's safe because that's what
(14:49):
the body thinks that it doesn't think it's safe. And
then when you do that What I also realize is
that you actually become clearer and you have more creativity
because if you think you know, they get the analogy,
if a saber toothed tiger came in the room right now,
you wouldn't be thinking about your taxes or you know
what you're going to get the growth.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
It's like, oh crap, you know, fight or flight, And what.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Really happens is all your thoughts in all these you know,
different options that you have narrowed down, and now you're
just you know, looking down a tunnel of just one
option or two options, fight or flight. But what happens
is when we're stressed, might not be a tiger in
the room, but it could just be all these other things.
It might not narrow down to the tunnel vision or
(15:31):
fight or flight, but it might be a little bit
wider of a hot highway. But it limits your options
in life and what you're able to see. So when
you get into your parasympathetic all of a sudden, a
lot of your problems are solved because the answers were
there in front of you the entire time. And this
is the importance of how regulating your nervous system can
(15:53):
literally change your life and your perspective, because if you
shift your perspective on your own life, everything changes. Because
that that's what we have. That's how we evolve over time.
People say, you know, time is what makes us evolve.
Time does not make us evolve. If anything, time, we
grow older, we die over time, for sure. It's what
happens over time. Yeah, And what happens over time is
(16:14):
we elevate our awareness. We have more experiences, we have
more wisdom, and what that does is that shifts our
perspective on past events that already happened.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And then that's how we evolve.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
So you know, I just think if people are able
to implement, you know, a simple one box.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Breathing is a really good one.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
They can look up four seven eight method is one
Navy seals used to go to sleep at night. Just
breathe in for four seconds, pause for seven seconds, and
then breathe out for eight seconds. And then a very
simple one that changed me was straw breathing and you
just breathe normal as if you have a straw in
your mouth, and you actually can take a straw, cut
(16:50):
it in half, stick in your pocket. Because it's really
good if you feel anxiety or a panic attack, and
you breathe regular You put it in your mouth and
you breathe regularly.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
You don't try to suck the straw, I push the air.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
You breathe regular But what happens is it kind of
regulates the shape of your mouth, allowing only a certain
amount of CO two and oxygen to come in, which
is the perfect.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Amount that calms the nervous system. So those would be
the three.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Now, if you want something that's going to be life changing,
something you're looking for breakthrough, that's what I teach, which
is breathwork detox. It's apples and oranges from those maintenance
ones and breathwork detox. The reason why I went all
in with this one is because we do live in
a microwave society where people want to see results and
(17:34):
they want to see results fast, and most of the
time that's unattainable. You're not going to go to the
gym and I have a six pack in the morning.
It doesn't work like that. So, unlike yoga and meditation,
the results of breathwork detox are immediate and undeniable from
one session, and that's why I had my huge breakthrough
in that one session where I hail the stomach condition
(17:54):
for five years and I've led tens of thousands of
people through this, and I've witnessed miracles happen with this technique,
which is the whole reason why I went full time.
And I was like, I have to bring this to
the world, especially when I realized that, you know, twenty
year yogis who've been practicing, you know, for two decades,
had no idea this technique existed. So you know, that's
(18:16):
the deep cleaning and the other ones are the maintenance.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
But definitely adopt.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
And I'll also say this too, because I like to
gamify it and make it fun. And this is for
adults kids, But you do a little game and say, Okay,
whenever we walk through a doorway or whenever we touch
a doorknob, right, we're gonna pause and take a breath
before every doorway we walk in.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
So now it kind of makes it fun. Oh there's
a doorway, let's take a breath, right, and you can
make it right kind of engaging.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
And the easiest one I can give you, guys, here's one,
like if you're going to use in just one of them,
it's the most overlooked breathing technique and it's called the sigh.
And the reason why is if you look at the
body's natural response right when the body has pent up energy,
pin up stress, pain, tension, when it gets pinned up
(19:06):
to the max, the body does this, it.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Does a sigh of relief.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So that big build up and that excel is the
body's pressure release valve releasing accumulated stress and tension. So
breathwork detox is we induce that, and we do that
technique for a certain specific amount of time and it
gives these huge, massive release. People feel euphoria, joy, lighter,
(19:35):
more buoyant. And I suggest just to do the simple
sigh walking through the doorways right or every time you
touch a doorknob, or every time you get in and
out of your car, like whatever it is. Just choose
that and stick to it. And if you just did
three size right now, don't do it if you're driving,
but just three size right now and make them like
loud and obnoxious. Right, so you want to go.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
And then breathe just three.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
In a row, you're gonna be like, oh my god,
actually feel more common, I feel more relaxed.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
But we don't do intentional size right, the body just
does it on its own. So just implementing that simple
little technique, you're gonna be like, oh my god, this
stuff really works. And then that's what we should become
a believer and want to implement it more and more
and more.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, I learned several years ago from a therapist out
in the Midwest too. When your kid is in meltdown,
they're intense, are having a hard time, the first thing
that you should do before responding, before reacting, is just
take a really deep, empathetic breath. And I always caution parents, like,
don't sound exasperated, like you know, but it can be contagious, right,
(20:46):
It can cause our kids to actually take that breath too,
But it just regulates us to be able to be
intentional with what we do next and what we say next.
And so it kind of goes along with that with
you know, this big sigh. But just again, parents, be
careful that you're not sounding exasperated, because that will escalate
(21:07):
your situation. Every time.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
It's true, because I'll do that, right, but I'll be
out and I'll just do these big a lot of
noxious size.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
And then then a couple of times it happened to me.
People look over, are you okay? I'm like, what are
you talking about? And I'm like, oh, they think because it's.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
The body's natural way of releasing stress intentions. When hear
somebody do that big size, it's like.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Oh, they're going through something, but they don't know that
I'm intentionally doing it. So I think that's kind of.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Yeah, yeah, we're all going to walk around that way now.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Yeah, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Can we talk a little bit more about getting past
the skepticism, because you know, I was one of these people.
I had a very victim mindset for most of my life,
and somewhere around forty I said enough if I can't
live like this anymore, and I tried to figure out,
you know, what can I do? And it starts with
changing my thinking. Right, But for so long when somebody
(22:03):
said you're thinking controls everything, I went, that's so hippie,
that's so like not me, right, And then I found
that it was really true, and it was very upset
that I didn't believe it all those years and I
wasn't leaning into what I know now in the nervous
system and all these things. So for the skeptics out there,
(22:24):
maybe there's a small step that they can start with
to start to move in this direction.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, well, I would dare never to try to have
someone control their thoughts, although their thoughts do dictate their reality.
But the problem with that is we have fifty thousand
thoughts per day an average human. And the crazy part
is eighty percent of those thoughts are negative in nature
and only twenty percent are positive. And ninety eight percent
(22:53):
of the thoughts that we had today were the same
thoughts we had yesterday. So a lot of people are
stuck on that hamster wheel. Really hard to do that.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
But if you look at some of the self help gurus,
or let's say one of the top in their game,
I'd say it would be Tony Robbins. A lot of
people know Tony Robbins. He's been doing this.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
For forty eight years, and he literally says, and I
just saw him in Las Vegas. He said two things. One,
if you're going to master anything, master the breath. That
was one of his famous quotes. And they said, if
you want to change your life and how you think
and how you feel, there's only one way to do it.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
He said, you need to change your state. So don't
try to.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Change your thoughts or your emotions just change your state.
And the fastest and most effective way to change your
state is by breathing right, doing intentional breathing techniques, and
that will change your state. And I love this one because,
you know, Penny, I never wanted to do the work
that I do, like get on stage and podcast, like
(23:52):
who the heck wants the public speak? Right, it's like
one of the most feared things in the world. Yeah,
and it's feared more than death statistically. I love the
Jerry Seinfeld episode where he's.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Like, people fear public speaking more than death.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
That means that they'd rather get up there and be
in the cast get than reading the eulogy.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Yes, exactly. You know.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
But something I learned is that in Harvard this study
that if you're really nervous and you're gonna get on stage,
you have a big promotion, and you have a meeting
or whatever it may be, a date, and you are nervous,
that if you try to take your nerves and relax
and breathe and try to calm yourself, it's actually not
(24:38):
as effective as if you did this one thing. And
that one thing is it's actually easier to trick yourself
into believing that you are excited than to try to
calm yourself because there is a very thin line between
the fear and excitement because a lot of the things
that you're probably afraid for, so you've been asking for
(24:59):
all along, right, that meeting, with that promotion, you know,
the date with the you know, the hot guy or
whatever it is, you know, And it's easier to get
ourselves excited than it is to calm ourselves down. So
that's a state change as well. Right, So just you know,
having these tools to change your state, I think is
the quickest way to not just change your life, but
(25:20):
to become a believer. Because you're talking about the skeptics,
and I'm one of the biggest skeptics, and I would
say this, if you are skeptic about the ability of
how such a simple thing as breathing can change your
entire life, I would say, try one session and what
that's going to do for you. It's going to make
(25:41):
you a believer. And I've done this for the most
resistant minds. I literally did this for the most left
brain people in the world, which are rocket scientists at NASA,
and they're very different personality than like when I work
with people like Nike and I brought them through this
and they were like, we did a case study and
everything they said, no prior event elicited the response that
(26:04):
we got from this and the history of us doing
mindfulness events, and that they put that on you know,
I think Bloomberg or something like that. And you know,
people who are very resistant, that's who I love working
with because I don't need to work with you for
three months.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
You don't need to buy packages for me. That's not
how I work.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
You know, they come in, they do one session, and
they leave a believer because not because I told them,
it's because they experienced it for themselves. Yeah, And I
think that's why I always lead people to breathwork detox first,
because it awakens you to the power of the breath
and now you're like, oh wow, now I'm a believer.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Now I know the breath works. What else is there?
How else can I implement this into my life?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
So I like to work that way because I do
believe a lot of people are skeptics.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
They do need to see it to believe it, and
you know, it is what it is. And I get
you because I'm the same exact way.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Yeah, yeah, and it's a shift in that energy. I
think about it as energy. What you're talking about is
the state. And when we can shift our energy in
that way, then we're more open. You know, if we
think about the science of it and the nervous system.
If we're just regulated, our thinking brain dims, it's not
as accessible, if at all. So when we experience being
(27:14):
back in that regulated, connected zone, things become doable. And
so we experience that, Oh my body feels a little lighter,
I'm thinking more clearly, and then yeah, you become a
believer and it can happen really quickly, that change, you know,
just those three big size of relief. You will feel
that in your body if you really lean into doing it.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, doing it is the hardest part.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Just choosing to do it. Okay, I'm going now, because
doesn't take a long time. No thirty seconds, two minutes,
it's nothing. It's just more the awareness and to pause,
just pause and say I'm going to do this and
make this part of my life. Whether you got to
put alarm on your phone, like whatever you have to do,
you know it will be worth it.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I always teach people to connect it with something. Do
it every day before you get out of bed, do
it every day before you have breakfast, or you know,
connect it with something you're already doing, and then you
don't necessarily have to schedule or try to remember once
you form that habit.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Yeah, that's good advice.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Will you tell everybody Curtis where they can find you
online where they can learn more about the Breathwork Detalks
and learn more from you.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, so if they're interested in Breathwork Detalks, they can
just go to Breathworkdetalks dot com and then they'll see
a video there that educate them a little bit more.
Program Suite if they wanted to do a virtual live event,
which I facilitate every two weeks teach your training, so
they can go there they can find all that stuff.
If they want to connect with me directly Instagram, man
(28:45):
from the Stars, just go type in Man from the
Stars on Instagram and then I'm pretty decent with direct
messages if people you know want to reach out to me.
So you know, as of now, I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Okay, Yeah, it's so hard to keep up with all
the things. I will link all of that up into
show notes for everybody to make it super easy. To access,
as well as the different breathing techniques that you talked
about and any other resources that we mentioned. Those are
going to be in the show notes at PARENTINGADHD and
Autism dot com. Slash three two three for episode three
(29:19):
hundred and twenty three.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Thank you so.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Much for being here, sharing your energy, your passion for
breath work, your strategies. I know it's going to change
some lives for folks who are listening or watching.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Yes, I hope so. Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I'll see everybody next time. Take good care. I see you.
You're doing hard and meaningful work and you don't have
to do it alone. If you found this episode helpful,
share it with someone who needs it and leave a
quick review so others can find this support too. When
you're ready for next steps, the Regulated Kids Project is
(29:57):
here with the tools, coaching, and community to help you
raise a more regulated, resilient child. Get more info at
regulated kids dot com.
The body is a living library for all of our stresses, traumas, heartbreaks, failures.
That's why they say the issues are in the tissues.
And what happens is our diaphragms get stressed and tense,
where we can no longer breathe down deep into our
bellies and on a subconscious level where the human body
holds the most emotion is actually in the belly and
(00:23):
around the hips.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Welcome to beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really
means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I'm
Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough and transformative
this journey can be. Let's dive in and discover how
to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. Oh and
(00:46):
if you want more support, join our free community at
hub dot beautifully complex dot life. Hi everyone, welcome back
to beautifully Complex. Today. I have with me Curtis Lee Thomas,
who transforms lives through breath work. So we're going to
(01:07):
talk all about using breath work both for parents and
for kids to help with regulation, and I think we'll
talk about how it helps with other things as well.
But will you start by letting everybody know who you
are and what you do.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
All right, Well, first of all, thank you for having me.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
And my name is Curtis Lee Thomas. And yeah, I'm
a breathwork facilitator and trainer. So I not only facilitate
my own events for many years, but I've shifted about
five years ago and started certifying other people in this
modality so they can go out and teach it as well.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Awesome. Yeah, and you have a kid's book out as well, right.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
I do, called The Secret of Life, Just Breathe.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Awesome. I'm sure we'll talk a little more about that
as we jump into it, but I want to start
with just defining breath work for anybody who doesn't know
what is breathwork.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
So it can get confusing because because there's many different
forms of breathwork. If you think of yoga, right, there's
many different forms of yoga.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
You have you know hot yoga, and then you have
yin yoga, and then you have you know flow yoga.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
So breathwork is the umbrella term and there's many different
modalities that fall under that. And what I specialized in
is deep diaphragmatic breathwork, which is called breathwork detox, so
it's extremely somatic and cathartic. It's one of the most
powerful healing natural healing modalities on the planet. But under that,
(02:32):
I also teach different breathing techniques, but they're more for maintenance.
And I look at the deep diaphragmatic breathwork as like
the deep cleaning, and then after you get that, you know,
deep cleaning in your house, then you can have maintenance
and it's a lot easier to maintain.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Yeah, and it is a lifelong practice, right, It's not
something where we do it. Maybe we have some healing
and then we're done.
Speaker 3 (02:55):
Yeah, well we're practicing every day. Everybody's breathing. Yeah, it's
like that. It's to say it.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
It's like, you know, if practice makes perfect, well, if
you keep practicing the same thing wrong over and over again,
you just get really good at doing the wrong thing.
And the problem is many of us are breathing incorrectly.
So if i'm you know, I do a lot of
large group events, and I always have in the very beginning,
everyone take a deep breath with me, al say, I
(03:23):
put your hand on your belly, put your hand on
your chest. To count of three, everyone take the deepest
breath ever, and then they go and then I watch
them and they all breathe into their chest, that clavicles
all up here. But really we're meant to breathe down
into our belly. And if you watch a dog or
a baby, watch a baby breathe. When a baby takes
a breath, in the belly moves. But how come us adults,
(03:46):
our bellies don't move anymore? And that's because something got
a hold of us called life. And in that life,
there's a lot of stress. And the body is a
living library for all of our stressors, traumas, heartbreak, failures.
That's why they say the issues are in the tissues.
And what happens is our diaphragms get stressed and tense,
(04:08):
where we can no longer breed down deep into our
bellies and on a subconscious level, where the human body
holds the most emotion is actually in the belly and
around the hips. So what we do is that sometimes
we try to cut ourselves up off from feeling quote
unquote the pains of life. Right, so we subconsciously don't
(04:28):
breede down there, But what we directly do is we
also cut off our joys from life. Because eighty percent
of our serotonins produced in our gut, and you know
that is the stuff that makes you happy. And then
eighty percent of your immune system is in your gut,
and that's the stuff that makes us healthy. So eighty
percent of our health and our happiness is in our
gut and we're not breathing the most vital life force
(04:51):
energy known to man, right, breath and oxygen into the
place that needs.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
It the most.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Wow. Yeah, And you talk about breathwork is a form
of emotional detox, and I think you just gave us
the reason why. Right, If our emotions are housed in
our belly and our hips and we're doing breath work
in that area, then we're feeling emotions, we're processing emotions.
(05:17):
Is that right?
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:18):
And I think the most mind boggling thing about trying
to explain what I do with people. And first of all,
I tell people trying to describe breathwork is like trying
to describe a kaleidoscope to a blind person, because it's
virtually impossible to explain. It can only be experienced. Because
you know, breath work, in breathing, it's very unassuming. You're like,
(05:39):
how is breathing going to change my life. Like if
I said, Penny, hey, we're going to take this walk
in the park, and this walk is going to change
your life, Like how magical can that walk be?
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Right? Yeah, it's just breathing.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
But what's so fascinating is I do these events for
It doesn't matter if I'm doing it for Nike, NASA
prison inmates. It doesn't matter. Statistically, or let's say an average,
about sixty percent of all the people in the room
will break down in tears. And it can be the
(06:11):
most masculine men. I'm working with, Navy seals, NFL athletes,
and that's because the body just holds on to so much.
And what I've learned on my own personal healing journey
is that it doesn't matter how many green juices you
drink right, or you know how many miles you can run,
(06:32):
if you're holding on to the toxic emotions of guilt, shame, regret,
or anger, you know, it's a death wish. And that's
what happens to the body, is that it holds onto
these things and it reaks havoc within our nervous system,
and then we become dysregulated and then we you know,
we think we need this pillow. We need that pillow
when really we're just holding on to so much stress
(06:53):
and accumulated stress, and that can just be from being
a single parent or being an entrepreneur and having to
take care of employee before you you know, whatever that
may be, and we just need the proper tools. And
I was just mind blowing myself because I was already
in this work for a decade as a certified Life Coach,
hipn the Therapist, NLP practitioner, Reiki master, and over a decade,
(07:15):
I didn't know this breathing technique existed, and it wasn't
until I had the stomach condition where doctors couldn't heal me,
they couldn't diagnose me. I was suffering for five years
and I did every test you can imagine, colonoscopy, endoscopy.
I didn't even know you can swallow a freaking pill.
Camera that's like.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
That's big. And I saw the camera, I'm like, oh wow,
that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
They couldn't find anything. And then I found this lost
ancient breathing technique that's been recently resurfaced, and I did
one session Penny, and it completely eradicated my stomach condition
where doctors couldn't even fix me, diagnose me. And I'm
a very skeptical, logical, analytical person, you know, I maybe
(07:57):
I don't know, like I got to see it to
believe it, and I couldn't wrap my head around how
I did all these things and this one technique is
what did it. But then it hit me, I'm like,
you know what these doctors didn't know was wrong with me?
Because my issue wasn't physical, right, it was it was emotional,
it was energetic.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
And they don't understand that.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
And I think the future of wellness is where East
medicine meets Western medicine, like they have to come together
because I'm not the woo woo person where I'm like,
you know, you break my arm, you know, give me
a painkiller, I got a cavity, give me the novacate.
So I'm very much, you know, balanced in that. But
there's a lot that we don't know and doctors don't
(08:37):
know about emotional healing.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
And emotion is everything. It's the core of the human
experience and it does dictate how we feel. What we're
doing with our emotions dictates how we feel. And I
think culturally we're taught to not share our emotions to
hold them in unless they're the you know, and I'm
giving air quotes here for people who are just listening
the positive emotions, right, And all emotions are natural. All
(09:03):
emotions are just part of life. And I talk a
lot about helping kids to recognize that, to facilitate that
understanding for our kids so that they can process emotion
so it doesn't eat them up when they're stuffing it down. Right,
How can breathwork sort of bridge the gap between this
(09:25):
emotional dysregulation maybe we're holding it in or our kids
don't know how to process it in ways that are
healthy yet, and kind of self awareness for them, because
so many neurodivergent kids really struggle with self awareness, and
so I imagine that breathwork can really help sort of
tie that together and build more awareness. Would you agree
(09:47):
with that?
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Yeah, you actually nailed that.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
So I was going to say that when you were talking,
is you know, most adults don't have the tools and
know what to do, and they're dysregulators, so we can't
expect the children to the main thing is self awareness, right,
and that is parent checking in with the kid. You know, Hey,
how are you feeling right now? We're doing cool and
fun exercises. You know, where do you feel heavy in
(10:11):
your body right now? Where do you feel happy in
your body right now? And it gets something got out
of their mind, which is where we all live, and
into their body. Yep, you know, which is a really
good exercise because you know, the mind is it's a
bad neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (10:25):
We don't want to live there, to drive by locked
the doors. You know a lot of crazy things go
on there.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
But we get into our body and really get in
tune and see how we feel. That's the first step
and is putting awareness and consciousness in Wow, how do
I feel? How am I breathing right now?
Speaker 3 (10:41):
You know?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
Where do I feel heaviness in my body? And after
you have that awareness, well you just need a couple tools.
And breath work is the best because you know, the
breath has vital life force energy that awakens the cells
in the body, idolize them, and the cells have memory.
(11:03):
And the breath is a very interesting thing because it's
the only system in the body that we can control
but then also works on its own. And you know,
we never get the instruction manual to the breath and
the most you know amazing organic inner technology you know
that we have.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
And there's monks and the Himalayas that will go in
you know, frigid sub below temperatures and get wet sheets,
put them on.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Their body and then using a special breath technique, they'll
heat up the sheets so they start steaming.
Speaker 3 (11:36):
So it's like, you know, that's another level.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Don't get me wrong, but it shows like what the
breath can can do, and it'll take you out of
a panic attack faster than any pill you.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Can swallow, because if you're just swallowing the pill.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
And this is coming from experience, I was on lexapro
and at a van and you know, I was riddled
with anxiety. And when you take a pill you swallow,
it has to go into your stomach and then has
to break down and then go through a small intestine.
It's like, you know, it could be twenty minutes, but
you can do a short breathing technique and in two
minutes completely regulate your system. So I think breath work
(12:11):
doesn't get the credit that it does is because it's
too simple. Yeah, it's too simple, and it's literally been
right under our noses the entire time.
Speaker 3 (12:21):
Yeah. I like the little joke because if can go,
it's literally right under these.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
It's a good trick for kids though, like young kids
to teach them to do it. I love that. What
other sort of tips do you have or strategies do
(12:47):
you have to simplify breathwork or to engage kids in breathwork?
I think you know, we don't want to add to
our daily lives. We're already overwhelmed, it's chaotic. How do
we listen to everyday life so that we can help
our kids regulate? Like breathborg is the ultimate regulation strategy,
(13:08):
I think, and so we can use it anywhere, right,
But how do we help our kids engage?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Well, we help our kids engage by us engaging. Make
it a part of our life, the parents' life. And
I wrote three books. I'm working on my fourth right now.
And then I coach some people who are working on
their books and I tell them, listen, writing a book
isn't hard.
Speaker 3 (13:31):
Sitting down to write the book is hard. That means
making the.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
Decision that I'm gonna do this at this time and
I'm going to implement this in my life.
Speaker 3 (13:43):
And it's just making that commitment. Now.
Speaker 1 (13:44):
The good thing about the breath is that you only
need two minutes, two minutes here, two minutes there. Even
if you did just two minutes a day, you know,
that's enough to affect your nervous system. So one, I
wouldn't go out and try to learn all the.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Breathing techniques because if you try to learn them all,
then you end up doing none of them.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
So for sure, you want to use a technique. So
the easiest one is box breathing, which is you, you know,
breathe in through your nose for four seconds, and then
you pause for four seconds, and then you breathe out
for four seconds, pause for four seconds, breathe in for
four seconds. So you're literally doing this box breathing in
(14:26):
four second intervals and at the top and the bottom
of each breath you're holding for four seconds. And what
this does is it gets you into parasympathetic, which is
your rest in digest and most people are stuck in
their sympathetic nervous system, which is their fight or flight
and that's their default mode. So training the body to
go back into parasympathetic where it's safe because that's what
(14:49):
the body thinks that it doesn't think it's safe. And
then when you do that What I also realize is
that you actually become clearer and you have more creativity
because if you think you know, they get the analogy,
if a saber toothed tiger came in the room right now,
you wouldn't be thinking about your taxes or you know
what you're going to get the growth.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
It's like, oh crap, you know, fight or flight, And what.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
Really happens is all your thoughts in all these you know,
different options that you have narrowed down, and now you're
just you know, looking down a tunnel of just one
option or two options, fight or flight. But what happens
is when we're stressed, might not be a tiger in
the room, but it could just be all these other things.
It might not narrow down to the tunnel vision or
(15:31):
fight or flight, but it might be a little bit
wider of a hot highway. But it limits your options
in life and what you're able to see. So when
you get into your parasympathetic all of a sudden, a
lot of your problems are solved because the answers were
there in front of you the entire time. And this
is the importance of how regulating your nervous system can
(15:53):
literally change your life and your perspective, because if you
shift your perspective on your own life, everything changes. Because
that that's what we have. That's how we evolve over time.
People say, you know, time is what makes us evolve.
Time does not make us evolve. If anything, time, we
grow older, we die over time, for sure. It's what
happens over time. Yeah, And what happens over time is
(16:14):
we elevate our awareness. We have more experiences, we have
more wisdom, and what that does is that shifts our
perspective on past events that already happened.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
And then that's how we evolve.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
So you know, I just think if people are able
to implement, you know, a simple one box.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
Breathing is a really good one.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
They can look up four seven eight method is one
Navy seals used to go to sleep at night. Just
breathe in for four seconds, pause for seven seconds, and
then breathe out for eight seconds. And then a very
simple one that changed me was straw breathing and you
just breathe normal as if you have a straw in
your mouth, and you actually can take a straw, cut
(16:50):
it in half, stick in your pocket. Because it's really
good if you feel anxiety or a panic attack, and
you breathe regular You put it in your mouth and
you breathe regularly.
Speaker 3 (16:58):
You don't try to suck the straw, I push the air.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
You breathe regular But what happens is it kind of
regulates the shape of your mouth, allowing only a certain
amount of CO two and oxygen to come in, which
is the perfect.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Amount that calms the nervous system. So those would be
the three.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Now, if you want something that's going to be life changing,
something you're looking for breakthrough, that's what I teach, which
is breathwork detox. It's apples and oranges from those maintenance
ones and breathwork detox. The reason why I went all
in with this one is because we do live in
a microwave society where people want to see results and
(17:34):
they want to see results fast, and most of the
time that's unattainable. You're not going to go to the
gym and I have a six pack in the morning.
It doesn't work like that. So, unlike yoga and meditation,
the results of breathwork detox are immediate and undeniable from
one session, and that's why I had my huge breakthrough
in that one session where I hail the stomach condition
(17:54):
for five years and I've led tens of thousands of
people through this, and I've witnessed miracles happen with this technique,
which is the whole reason why I went full time.
And I was like, I have to bring this to
the world, especially when I realized that, you know, twenty
year yogis who've been practicing, you know, for two decades,
had no idea this technique existed. So you know, that's
(18:16):
the deep cleaning and the other ones are the maintenance.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
But definitely adopt.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
And I'll also say this too, because I like to
gamify it and make it fun. And this is for
adults kids, But you do a little game and say, Okay,
whenever we walk through a doorway or whenever we touch
a doorknob, right, we're gonna pause and take a breath
before every doorway we walk in.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
So now it kind of makes it fun. Oh there's
a doorway, let's take a breath, right, and you can
make it right kind of engaging.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
And the easiest one I can give you, guys, here's one,
like if you're going to use in just one of them,
it's the most overlooked breathing technique and it's called the sigh.
And the reason why is if you look at the
body's natural response right when the body has pent up energy,
pin up stress, pain, tension, when it gets pinned up
(19:06):
to the max, the body does this, it.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Does a sigh of relief.
Speaker 1 (19:14):
So that big build up and that excel is the
body's pressure release valve releasing accumulated stress and tension. So
breathwork detox is we induce that, and we do that
technique for a certain specific amount of time and it
gives these huge, massive release. People feel euphoria, joy, lighter,
(19:35):
more buoyant. And I suggest just to do the simple
sigh walking through the doorways right or every time you
touch a doorknob, or every time you get in and
out of your car, like whatever it is. Just choose
that and stick to it. And if you just did
three size right now, don't do it if you're driving,
but just three size right now and make them like
loud and obnoxious. Right, so you want to go.
Speaker 3 (19:58):
And then breathe just three.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
In a row, you're gonna be like, oh my god,
actually feel more common, I feel more relaxed.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
But we don't do intentional size right, the body just
does it on its own. So just implementing that simple
little technique, you're gonna be like, oh my god, this
stuff really works. And then that's what we should become
a believer and want to implement it more and more
and more.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Yeah, I learned several years ago from a therapist out
in the Midwest too. When your kid is in meltdown,
they're intense, are having a hard time, the first thing
that you should do before responding, before reacting, is just
take a really deep, empathetic breath. And I always caution parents, like,
don't sound exasperated, like you know, but it can be contagious, right,
(20:46):
It can cause our kids to actually take that breath too,
But it just regulates us to be able to be
intentional with what we do next and what we say next.
And so it kind of goes along with that with
you know, this big sigh. But just again, parents, be
careful that you're not sounding exasperated, because that will escalate
(21:07):
your situation. Every time.
Speaker 1 (21:11):
It's true, because I'll do that, right, but I'll be
out and I'll just do these big a lot of
noxious size.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
And then then a couple of times it happened to me.
People look over, are you okay? I'm like, what are
you talking about? And I'm like, oh, they think because it's.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
The body's natural way of releasing stress intentions. When hear
somebody do that big size, it's like.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Oh, they're going through something, but they don't know that
I'm intentionally doing it. So I think that's kind of.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Yeah, yeah, we're all going to walk around that way now.
Speaker 3 (21:38):
Yeah, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Can we talk a little bit more about getting past
the skepticism, because you know, I was one of these people.
I had a very victim mindset for most of my life,
and somewhere around forty I said enough if I can't
live like this anymore, and I tried to figure out,
you know, what can I do? And it starts with
changing my thinking. Right, But for so long when somebody
(22:03):
said you're thinking controls everything, I went, that's so hippie,
that's so like not me, right, And then I found
that it was really true, and it was very upset
that I didn't believe it all those years and I
wasn't leaning into what I know now in the nervous
system and all these things. So for the skeptics out there,
(22:24):
maybe there's a small step that they can start with
to start to move in this direction.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
Yeah, well, I would dare never to try to have
someone control their thoughts, although their thoughts do dictate their reality.
But the problem with that is we have fifty thousand
thoughts per day an average human. And the crazy part
is eighty percent of those thoughts are negative in nature
and only twenty percent are positive. And ninety eight percent
(22:53):
of the thoughts that we had today were the same
thoughts we had yesterday. So a lot of people are
stuck on that hamster wheel. Really hard to do that.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
But if you look at some of the self help gurus,
or let's say one of the top in their game,
I'd say it would be Tony Robbins. A lot of
people know Tony Robbins. He's been doing this.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
For forty eight years, and he literally says, and I
just saw him in Las Vegas. He said two things. One,
if you're going to master anything, master the breath. That
was one of his famous quotes. And they said, if
you want to change your life and how you think
and how you feel, there's only one way to do it.
Speaker 3 (23:28):
He said, you need to change your state. So don't
try to.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Change your thoughts or your emotions just change your state.
And the fastest and most effective way to change your
state is by breathing right, doing intentional breathing techniques, and
that will change your state. And I love this one because,
you know, Penny, I never wanted to do the work
that I do, like get on stage and podcast, like
(23:52):
who the heck wants the public speak? Right, it's like
one of the most feared things in the world. Yeah,
and it's feared more than death statistically. I love the
Jerry Seinfeld episode where he's.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Like, people fear public speaking more than death.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
That means that they'd rather get up there and be
in the cast get than reading the eulogy.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Yes, exactly. You know.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
But something I learned is that in Harvard this study
that if you're really nervous and you're gonna get on stage,
you have a big promotion, and you have a meeting
or whatever it may be, a date, and you are nervous,
that if you try to take your nerves and relax
and breathe and try to calm yourself, it's actually not
(24:38):
as effective as if you did this one thing. And
that one thing is it's actually easier to trick yourself
into believing that you are excited than to try to
calm yourself because there is a very thin line between
the fear and excitement because a lot of the things
that you're probably afraid for, so you've been asking for
(24:59):
all along, right, that meeting, with that promotion, you know,
the date with the you know, the hot guy or
whatever it is, you know, And it's easier to get
ourselves excited than it is to calm ourselves down. So
that's a state change as well. Right, So just you know,
having these tools to change your state, I think is
the quickest way to not just change your life, but
(25:20):
to become a believer. Because you're talking about the skeptics,
and I'm one of the biggest skeptics, and I would
say this, if you are skeptic about the ability of
how such a simple thing as breathing can change your
entire life, I would say, try one session and what
that's going to do for you. It's going to make
(25:41):
you a believer. And I've done this for the most
resistant minds. I literally did this for the most left
brain people in the world, which are rocket scientists at NASA,
and they're very different personality than like when I work
with people like Nike and I brought them through this
and they were like, we did a case study and
everything they said, no prior event elicited the response that
(26:04):
we got from this and the history of us doing
mindfulness events, and that they put that on you know,
I think Bloomberg or something like that. And you know,
people who are very resistant, that's who I love working
with because I don't need to work with you for
three months.
Speaker 3 (26:18):
You don't need to buy packages for me. That's not
how I work.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
You know, they come in, they do one session, and
they leave a believer because not because I told them,
it's because they experienced it for themselves. Yeah, And I
think that's why I always lead people to breathwork detox first,
because it awakens you to the power of the breath
and now you're like, oh wow, now I'm a believer.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
Now I know the breath works. What else is there?
How else can I implement this into my life?
Speaker 1 (26:41):
So I like to work that way because I do
believe a lot of people are skeptics.
Speaker 3 (26:45):
They do need to see it to believe it, and
you know, it is what it is. And I get
you because I'm the same exact way.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Yeah, yeah, and it's a shift in that energy. I
think about it as energy. What you're talking about is
the state. And when we can shift our energy in
that way, then we're more open. You know, if we
think about the science of it and the nervous system.
If we're just regulated, our thinking brain dims, it's not
as accessible, if at all. So when we experience being
(27:14):
back in that regulated, connected zone, things become doable. And
so we experience that, Oh my body feels a little lighter,
I'm thinking more clearly, and then yeah, you become a
believer and it can happen really quickly, that change, you know,
just those three big size of relief. You will feel
that in your body if you really lean into doing it.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
Yeah, doing it is the hardest part.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Just choosing to do it. Okay, I'm going now, because
doesn't take a long time. No thirty seconds, two minutes,
it's nothing. It's just more the awareness and to pause,
just pause and say I'm going to do this and
make this part of my life. Whether you got to
put alarm on your phone, like whatever you have to do,
you know it will be worth it.
Speaker 3 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I always teach people to connect it with something. Do
it every day before you get out of bed, do
it every day before you have breakfast, or you know,
connect it with something you're already doing, and then you
don't necessarily have to schedule or try to remember once
you form that habit.
Speaker 3 (28:15):
Yeah, that's good advice.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Will you tell everybody Curtis where they can find you
online where they can learn more about the Breathwork Detalks
and learn more from you.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, so if they're interested in Breathwork Detalks, they can
just go to Breathworkdetalks dot com and then they'll see
a video there that educate them a little bit more.
Program Suite if they wanted to do a virtual live event,
which I facilitate every two weeks teach your training, so
they can go there they can find all that stuff.
If they want to connect with me directly Instagram, man
(28:45):
from the Stars, just go type in Man from the
Stars on Instagram and then I'm pretty decent with direct
messages if people you know want to reach out to me.
So you know, as of now, I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
Okay, Yeah, it's so hard to keep up with all
the things. I will link all of that up into
show notes for everybody to make it super easy. To access,
as well as the different breathing techniques that you talked
about and any other resources that we mentioned. Those are
going to be in the show notes at PARENTINGADHD and
Autism dot com. Slash three two three for episode three
(29:19):
hundred and twenty three.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Thank you so.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Much for being here, sharing your energy, your passion for
breath work, your strategies. I know it's going to change
some lives for folks who are listening or watching.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Yes, I hope so. Thank you so much for having me.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
I'll see everybody next time. Take good care. I see you.
You're doing hard and meaningful work and you don't have
to do it alone. If you found this episode helpful,
share it with someone who needs it and leave a
quick review so others can find this support too. When
you're ready for next steps, the Regulated Kids Project is
(29:57):
here with the tools, coaching, and community to help you
raise a more regulated, resilient child. Get more info at
regulated kids dot com.
Popular Podcasts
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!