September 4, 2023 • 25 mins
Have you ever questioned the strength of the human spirit in the face of adversity? Here is Andrew Davie, who recounts his captivating fight against a ruptured brain aneurysm. A former budding author, Andrew takes us through the intensely personal twists and turns of his life following that fateful day at the airport. He sheds light on the gruelling process of physical healing and the slower, often overlooked journey of emotional recovery that ensued.
Imagine a life-altering event that forces you to reevaluate and redefine your dreams, emotional connections, and the essence of joy. Thrown into such an upheaval, Andrew grapples with his new reality. He candidly discusses the emotional roller coaster he endured after his physical recovery, his dreams of becoming a published author put on hold, and the struggle to navigate the changes in his emotional landscape. However, Andrew emerges with a newfound appreciation for beauty and a fresh perspective on life.
Lastly, we delve into Andrew's present and future. Andrew recently started a Clinical Mental Health Counseling program keen on assisting others in their recovery from brain injuries. Andrew's journey serves as a beacon of hope for those dealing with similar experiences, underlining the essence of resilience and the power of hope.
Andrew is a co-host of the show Happy Hour with Heather and Guest and a crime fiction novelist, short story writer, and volunteer.
Let's enjoy his story.
To connect with Andrew: https://andrew-davie.com/ @adavieauthor
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Thank you for listening - Hasta Pronto!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daniela (00:08):
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseeveryone has a story, the place
to give ordinary people, stories, the chance to be shared and
preserved.
Our stories become the languageof connections.
Let's enjoy it.
Connect and relate, becauseeveryone has a story.
Welcome my guest, andrew David.
(00:33):
How many times have wequestioned the strength of the
human spirit in the face ofadversity?
Well, here is Andrew.
He is a crime fiction novelist,short story writer, volunteer.
He's also on a podcast with herfriend Heather analyzing heavy
metal music.
He decided to come to the showto recount his captivating fight
(00:57):
against a ruptured brainaneurysm.
Andrew's story takes us throughthe personal twists and turns
of his life following thatfaithful day at the airport.
Andrew's story is a shinyexample for anyone who is going
through tough times.
It shows us how important it isto be strong and never lose
(01:19):
hope.
It might take more time, itmight take more work, but we
will get there.
Let's enjoy his story.
Andrew Davie (01:26):
Welcome, andrew to the show.
Thank you so much.
It's great to be here.
Daniela (01:30):
Andrew, we were talking last week and you had a really
interesting situation happeningto you.
Of course, you have a story toshare.
Why do you want to share yourstory?
Andrew Davie (01:40):
I think people who are struggling with difficulty
right now.
My story is one of triumph, soI'm hoping that if people hear
it, they will feel better aboutmanaging to overcome difficulty
in their own life.
Daniela (01:51):
And is sharing your story also helping you.
Andrew Davie (01:53):
Yes, it's very much a cathartic thing where I
feel more comfortable afterwardas well.
Daniela (01:59):
Oh, I think that's an important point of people forget
you sharing it.
It makes you feel better aswell, great.
So when does your story start?
Andrew Davie (02:07):
Probably the best part to start is June of 2018.
So about almost five years ago,I had just finished the year.
I was a teacher, a high schoolEnglish teacher, and I had
decided I wasn't going to renewmy teaching contract.
Instead, I was going to try toget a PhD in creative writing.
I had begun to apply to schools, but I hadn't gotten in
(02:29):
anywhere and, since it was thesummertime, I was about to go
visit my parents who live out ofstate.
So I was going to fly and I gotto the airport that morning.
I got to my gate and I startedto sweat uncontrollably.
This is before COVID.
I thought I might be coming downwith a cold or the flu, but
that was it.
There were no other indications.
(02:49):
And then they called my groupand I lifted my bag and it felt
like I had cinder blocks in mybag.
Probably should have been a redflag at the time and I
shouldn't have just disregardedit, but I thought you know what?
I'm probably just getting sick.
If I get on the plane, I cantake a nap, and when I land,
everything will be fine.
I began to walk toward thejetway, I scanned my ticket and
(03:10):
the floor started to shift, likeI was in a carnival funhouse.
I still wasn't thinking clearlyat the time.
I remember thinking it's goingto be difficult to walk onto the
plane if the floor is moving,so I'll have to figure out how
to account for that.
So I took a step forward and Ifell.
Fortunately I didn't get on theplane and because I was at the
(03:30):
airport and I was in public,first responders could get to me
and it turned out I wasexperiencing a ruptured brain
aneurysm.
The fact that it happened whenI was on the jetway in a public
place is what essentially savedmy life.
Daniela (03:43):
Because you were at the airport, they could get faster
to you.
Andrew Davie (03:46):
Yeah, if I had been in the bathroom or if I'd
gotten on the plane or if I'dstill been on the train going to
the airport, I probablywouldn't be sitting here talking
to you right now.
It happened to work out thetiming of it worked out so that
I was in a public place in frontof other people.
I remember saying someone saiddon't move, and they put a neck
brace on and I rememberparamedics had begun to take
(04:10):
care of me.
When they said don't move, Ireplied with I can't miss my
flight, because all I couldthink about was how disappointed
and upset my parents would bethat I missed my flight.
And then I don't remember thenext three weeks I was in
intensive care, I managed to goto the hospital, I was in
surgery and then the next threeweeks I was up and I was alert
(04:30):
and I've seen videos of meeating food and responding to
people, but I have no memory ofit, oh wow.
At the time my brother and hisfamily were also visiting my
parents.
He called my cell phone a bunchof times when I didn't get on
the plane JetBlue whom I wasflying.
I had filled out the emergencycontact form so they let my
family know that I didn't missmy flight, but they didn't know
(04:53):
and knew what the details were.
Eventually my neurosurgeon'sphysician's assistant found my
phone and saw a bunch of missedcalls, so he called my brother,
told him what had happened andmy family made the trip to
Washington DC where I was in thehospital.
Daniela (05:08):
How long were you without your family knowing that
you were in the hospital?
Andrew Davie (05:12):
Probably, maybe 10 hours, 15 hours.
Okay, it was the same day.
They managed to get a flight tocome up and then my brother
drove their car, so everyone washere and it was sort of touch
and go for those first few weekswhether or not I would make it.
I think the big question was,if I did make it, would anything
be really different?
Would I still be the sameperson?
(05:33):
Would I have the samepersonality?
I think I had a second bleed atone point.
For some reason I kept thinkingthat when I would need to use
the bathroom I would have to getout of bed instead of the
catheter that I had had.
One of the first nights I triedto get out of bed and I fell
and broke my notes.
Yeah, so I mean, everythingwent right in the grand scheme
of things, but everything alsoseemed to go wrong.
(05:56):
And then I became lucid afterabout three weeks and I went
into the rehab wing.
And then the next few years, ifI can condense it, the first
year was mostly physicalrecovery, where initially I had
to walk with a cane and then Icould give up walking with the
cane.
I had had double vision, so Iwore an eye patch and then
(06:16):
eventually my vision healed.
It was a lot of.
The emotional recovery took alot longer.
The initial thought is thatsuddenly one day you'll feel the
same that you used to, andthat's not really true.
There are elements of my formerlife that I still in touch with
the same people and I still seethe same friends, but it's not
the same existence that I'd hadbefore the injury.
Daniela (06:38):
When you were at the hospital and you started to be
conscious of what was happening.
How do you feel that you feltlike all your dreams or plans?
Not yet.
Andrew Davie (06:47):
What I've discovered that's interesting is
the physical recovery happensfirst.
Other people have confirmedthis, that it's not just me.
If you're in a traumaticexperience, usually you focus so
much on the physical aspects ofyour recovery first, and then,
as that begins to taper off,then you begin to think about
(07:09):
some of the more existentialquestions like what do I do?
What does this all mean?
Why am I here?
Things that you would thinkabout normally.
But now it's a little different.
I used to think that when I wasout of the hospital and I went
back home, that it would be likeputting an old jacket on that
still fit, and it turned out tobe very different.
(07:30):
I had to sort of reevaluatewhat my goals were, what
mattered to me anymore.
Daniela (07:36):
You raise a very good point.
People take care of thephysical.
You have to walk, you have todo all these things and then
don't work at the same time withthe emotional part.
Do you think that they shoulddo that, they should work
together, or you really need tofocus on the physical first?
Andrew Davie (07:50):
I think that's just how it happens.
I don't necessarily know ifthere's a choice involved.
I think your body and mindprobably focus on the physical
recovery, first because it's sonecessary you need to be able to
eat and walk and sleep to liveand then, as that sort of gets
taken care of, then your mindbegins to focus on larger
(08:12):
questions that are moreemotional.
Daniela (08:13):
So what happened then?
You came home and you wereobviously going to leave with
your parents.
Now I am assuming normal school.
Andrew Davie (08:20):
I went back to the same school to try and be a
substitute teacher.
I didn't get into any of thePhD programs I had applied to
and they were looking forsubstitute teachers, but it was
a little too overwhelming.
I had worked with kids who haveADHD and learning differences
and they really need somebodywho's at 100% capacity, so I
(08:41):
wasn't really the best candidate.
And then I thought, sinceteaching was my experience, I
could get a job as a tutor.
So in March of 2020, I wasliving back in my old apartment
and I found a job at a tutoringcenter.
So I thought that would be whatI did.
And then, in April of 2020,when COVID hit, the job was
(09:01):
canceled.
At that point, I moved back inwith my parents because no one
knew what was really going tohappen, and that was really
strange because I had gone froma very personal experience,
recovering from an aneurysm thatwas difficult to articulate to
people, and now, all of a sudden, everyone is dealing with a
similar problem in a worldwidepandemic.
(09:22):
So that's when I lived with myparents for a year and I could
really fully think about how Iwanted to spend my future,
instead of going back toteaching, because it was what I
knew, I figured there might besomething that's a better fit.
During COVID I thought aboutbecoming a mental health
counselor.
So that's I'm actually now backin school, getting my degree,
(09:46):
so I can help other peoplerecover from brain injuries with
what I've learned.
Daniela (09:52):
Okay, so you wanted to become a counselor, but what
happened with the writing?
Andrew Davie (09:55):
Fortunately, I decided that I would see if I
could still write, just to beable to do it.
By that time I had alreadypublished a crime fiction book,
so I had sort of crossed thatline before.
Now.
I just wanted to see can Istill do it?
I began writing something thatwas just going to be an exercise
, mostly to see if I could stillwrite.
I realized that I could, soI've been able to continue to
(10:18):
write on my own.
I've published more books sincethen, but it's not the main
focus that it used to be.
That was part of the changesthat I had to become comfortable
with.
Previously, wanting to be apublished author was the number
one goal in my life.
That I thought would somehowchange everything, and then I
realized that I needed to havemore to focus on.
Daniela (10:41):
How do you feel that you had this big dream and now
you moved to the side?
Andrew Davie (10:46):
Yes, I think I was under the impression that if I
published a book then I wouldsuddenly maybe be the next John
Grisham.
That would open a lot ofopportunities for me.
Suddenly my life would changeand even though I did publish a
book, that didn't happen.
So I think I had to reevaluatewhat my expectations were.
All of this sort of happenedbecause I had had the brain
(11:10):
injury and that sort of forcedme to reevaluate everything.
I had also thought before theinjury that I would settle down,
possibly get married, start afamily.
That was also a very importantthing.
After the brain injury I havedifficulty making emotional
connections.
Sometimes I realized that thatwould be difficult to have a
(11:33):
relationship with somebody ifI'm unable to connect with them
emotionally.
Even though that may come backone day, I realized it would
sort of be futile and notimportant to try and force it.
I'm enjoying now.
I write for myself and if Ifind something that I enjoy that
I think would be worthwhile, Isend it out to a publisher.
I had been dating for a littlewhile but I decided to stop
(11:56):
because it just seemed like itwasn't the worthwhile thing and
then, rather than go back toteaching, I thought counseling
would be a better fit, andhelping other people would be
more beneficial to me.
Daniela (12:07):
Good, interesting.
Thank you for explaining thatYou're in counseling and you
have difficulties to connectwith feelings.
It's easier for you to be acounselor because even though
you can connect, but you won'tnot take it internally as much.
Andrew Davie (12:21):
Yeah, there's something called transference
and counter-transference.
When, if you're a therapist andyour client's story begins to
affect you emotionally, that'scalled transference.
I don't have to worry about it.
If I hear a story from somebodythat's really sad, it won't
necessarily affect meemotionally, which is probably a
good thing because I can remainobjective.
Daniela (12:43):
And Andrew, were you emotional before?
Andrew Davie (12:46):
Sure, not that I was necessarily prone to crying
all the time or laughing all thetime, but I definitely would
experience emotions more deeplythan I do now.
Like, would you?
get really angry or no, I thinka good example is so often now
there'll be commercials foranimals to be rescued from abuse
(13:07):
and typically they have verysad songs playing and often
people will cry when they watchthose because it's supposed to
be sad.
So before, if I watched one, Iwould probably tear up.
Whether or not I would go intodeep crying probably not, but I
would certainly would cry or Iwould tear up.
Now I can sort of feel thatbeginning to happen and then it
(13:29):
stops.
Daniela (13:30):
Begins to happen and it stops, but it kind of happens.
Andrew Davie (13:33):
Yeah, so working with therapists who practice is
something called somaticexperience, and one of the
things that we work on isrecognizing how the emotion
presents itself, because it'sdifferent than it does before
For me, kind of recognizing,okay, that feeling in my chest
that I wasn't sure what it was.
(13:54):
That's how I process joy.
Before maybe it would have beena bigger feeling throughout my
whole body.
Now it's just a small feelingin my chest.
Daniela (14:02):
It's interesting that you say that I grew up in a
Latin country and I will sayempathy is my super power and
emotional.
When I watch a movie, I feellike that, that transfer concept
that you said, and so sometimesit's hard so I can watch things
that are very, some specificthings that people are being
treated badly or things likethat, cause I really feel it.
(14:22):
Going to a counselor, Iremember he was saying that you
know, having emotions is reallyimportant.
You always heard that oh no, no, emotions are not good.
You have to be logical andstrategic.
But now the emotions are comingmore to popularity.
However, I always thought thatif I didn't have emotions, I
will have been moving forward inmy work career more, because I
(14:46):
wouldn't have the feelings,Things wouldn't affect me as
much.
So I always thought thatemotions were not so helpful.
Andrew Davie (14:54):
It's a double-edged sword, because one
thing that I had to get used towas, even though I wouldn't feel
sadness the same and it's nicenot to be overwhelmed sometimes
by sadness I also don't feel joythe same way.
A lot of the emotions that wewould rather not be overwhelming
.
I also don't get the emotionsthat we would love to be
(15:15):
overwhelming the same way.
It's a trade-off.
Part of the difficulty in therecovery the emotional recovery
was being comfortable with that.
It took a long time.
It took about three, maybethree and a half years before I
began to feel comfortable withthe fact that my life had
changed and I could still enjoyeverything.
It would just look differentlythan what I had anticipated.
Daniela (15:38):
Those are emotions that you were having and that you're
having.
Andrew Davie (15:41):
Yeah, it's difficult to explain.
Sometimes there is an emotionalcomponent to it.
A lot of times it's how they'reprocessed or how they affect
you.
It's been a very long timesince I've cried, sobbing, which
I think is a result of what hadhappened, but I don't know for
sure.
Daniela (16:00):
Did your family notice that you were this cheerful,
loving guy and now you're not?
Andrew Davie (16:07):
No, no, I'm still the same cheerful, loving guy.
Another example I was in NewHampshire with a friend of mine.
We were by a lake and it wasthe sunset.
I remember thinking to myselfthis is really beautiful.
Thinking I'm going to feel somekind of beauty as an emotion,
and that never happened.
I could process itintellectually and say, wow,
this is really beautiful, butthat feeling that I thought
(16:30):
would accompany it didn't happen.
I don't know if that issupposed to happen or if I just
fooled myself into thinkingsomething is missing At this
point, adjusted to now, where Ijust appreciated for what it is
and I don't really look at thethings that I think should be
there anymore.
Daniela (16:46):
Yes, that's interesting .
It is what it is.
It's interesting that thishappened to you and that you
wanted to be a writer and now itdecided that you're going to be
counselor for people, to helppeople.
Andrew Davie (16:57):
Yeah, well, I can do both.
I can write for me personallyand I can help people for them
and for me.
I'm getting the best ofeverything.
That's kind of how I look at itright now.
Daniela (17:10):
Maybe the way you are now, you have some kind of
superpower.
Andrew Davie (17:13):
It's entirely possible.
Enough strange things havehappened in the last couple of
years.
I often joke that if we makecontact with aliens from Mars
next year, that it won't bestrange, because I survived a
brain aneurysm and then we hadCOVID.
Daniela (17:32):
Good.
What plans are you having,besides going to lots of
podcasts and sharing your storyand being a counselor any other
things that you have in yourback burner thinking the way you
could do?
Andrew Davie (17:44):
I'm still writing, which has been really enjoyable
.
I have a music review show onYouTube with a friend of mine
called Happy Hour with Heatherand Guest that we do weekly
where we review mostly heavymetal music.
I think, growing up, mostpeople have an idea of what
their life should look like Ishould have a good paying job
(18:04):
and I should have a family and Ishould have a car and I should
have 2.5 kids.
And then eventually you realizethat maybe you don't need to do
all those things.
I think I've gotten to thepoint now where I'm comfortable
that my life doesn't look likewhat I had thought it would, or
what society is telling you thatit should be.
(18:27):
Yeah, I think that's one of theways I look at the aneurysm now
is, even though it wasunpleasant and I wouldn't wish
it on anyone it allowed me toreevaluate how I wanted to live
my life.
I'm fortunate that I'm able tolive very active life.
Daniela (18:44):
Andrew, I think that's the gift.
Society tells people that wehave to be this way.
Let's start with families, howfamily is supposed to look like,
and now they know that that'snot true.
It's diverse, it's differentthings.
I don't like it when peoplethink that they have to be
married and they have to have ahouse and they have to have the
dog and they have to have thekid.
That's not what it's supposedto be.
You're supposed to be happysomehow and get to know who you
(19:06):
are, and that's the mostimportant thing.
If you are good, then whatevercomes next to you a partner, a
kid, a house, whatever is okay,but it's not what it has to be.
So people get stuck with thatand it's stressful for them.
Andrew Davie (19:18):
Well, that's sort of the road that I was on.
Because things changed, I wasable to take a step back and
reevaluate everything.
Daniela (19:25):
Yes, and I think that's the message that you need to
share with people.
You reevaluate it and you justwant to have the typical
American dream.
You just want to have your life.
And what are your values nowcompared with before?
Andrew Davie (19:39):
I used to think, like most people, missing
certain things that are outthere and I need to get them,
and what I've realized is that Ihave everything I need at this
point.
I'm fortunate.
I have friends, I have family,I have the ability to write, I'm
enjoying going to school to getmy degree.
There's nothing secret that'sout there that needs me to find
it in order to complete what Ihave Writing and doing the show
(20:01):
with my friend, being able to gosee family that those are the
things that are important.
Daniela (20:05):
Well, you are living the present, in the moment, and
you are really content with whatyou have, and that is something
that a lot of people don't get,so it's beautiful.
Andrew Davie (20:15):
Thank you.
Yeah, I always think of aquotation from Henry David
Thoreau where he said Mostpeople lead lives of quiet
desperation.
I was probably one of thosepeople, but now, fortunately,
I've been able to make enoughchanges.
Daniela (20:29):
That's awesome.
Thank you for bringing thispoint to the story.
I also want to ask do you thinkthat you can suffer from
depression?
Andrew Davie (20:38):
I think there was a period of time within the
first year of the recovery thatI probably was, I think, because
I've been able to addresseverything and I've made such
progress that I'm aware of.
I think I'll probably havedifficulties in the future, but
I don't think it'll be anythingthat I can't handle.
Daniela (20:58):
I thought that you wouldn't be able to be depressed
because you wouldn't have thatemotions.
Andrew Davie (21:02):
There was a period of time where I logically was
like what's the point of gettingout of bed If I'm not able to
do the things that used to bringme joy or they're not as
important anymore?
The logic of that just yourbrain yeah that was something
that I needed to adjust to.
I can process emotions, it'sjust the effect of it in terms
(21:23):
of sadness or happiness isdifferent.
I certainly had to reevaluatewhat were the valuable things in
my life that I would want toget out of bed for.
It's sort of difficult toexplain Through help you were
getting counseling.
Over time, I continued to healand feel better, and then, yeah,
I was working with a therapist,first for just to process
(21:45):
everything and then next foremotional Anything that you are
grateful for during the process?
Daniela (21:53):
is there anything that you will say thanks to these?
I believe is super important?
Andrew Davie (21:59):
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm really grateful to myfamily and my friends who've
been really supportivethroughout the whole thing.
There's a place that I gotservice from called Brain Injury
Services.
That have been really wonderful.
They offer services to peoplefor free who, if you've had any
kind of brain injury, you can gothere.
They have programs.
(22:19):
They've been reallyinstrumental in me sort of being
able to feel more comfortableas I go through this process the
Bee Foundation.
That's wonderful to know.
Along the way there have been alot of friends, family and
groups that have been helpfuljust lending support.
Daniela (22:34):
Great, and is there anything that you said?
I wish I wouldn't have donethis.
Andrew Davie (22:39):
It's really difficult not to have
expectations with everything,with how your recovery is going,
with what and so I think Iprobably would have tried better
to temper those expectations.
My physical recovery happenedwithin the first year mostly, so
I think I had assumedeverything would be better
(22:59):
within a year, and I think if Ihad to do it all over again, I
might remind myself that therecovery and everything happens
on its own schedule Wonderful.
Daniela (23:08):
That's good.
So you're a wise man, a healthyman now and a content person
who knows what they want in hislife.
That's amazing.
Andrew Davie (23:16):
Thank you, yes, I'm glad to be.
Daniela (23:18):
Yeah, that's very difficult to find people that
are at your level now.
So, yes, you had to go througha terrible thing, but you're in
a wonderful place now.
Andrew Davie (23:27):
Thank you.
Yeah, I feel it feels good.
You know, the journey is notover by any stretch, but I can
appreciate the progress thatI've made.
Daniela (23:34):
Excellent.
Have you met other people thathad had the same situation and
are not in the same place as youmentally and physically?
Andrew Davie (23:42):
So the Bee Foundation is specifically for
people who've had aneurysms.
Some of them have unrupturedaneurysms, others have had
ruptures, like myself.
Everyone is sort of at adifferent point.
It usually takes about three tofive years for people to begin
to feel comfortable again, andmany of the people that I've
(24:04):
spoken to are still at thebeginnings of their journey.
Daniela (24:07):
Great, and how do you find your?
You know the people that youhelp.
How do you advertise yourcounseling practice?
Andrew Davie (24:13):
Well, right now I'm working for a private
practice in Maryland as anintern.
Their clients are not from anyone particular population,
they're called LighthouseTherapeutic Services.
If you need service in Marylandor Washington DC, then you can
just go to them At some point.
I would like to work withpeople who are recovering from
(24:34):
brain injuries.
Daniela (24:36):
But so what are you doing at the moment?
Andrew Davie (24:37):
So at the moment I'm just just counseling regular
people.
Daniela (24:40):
Okay, wonderful, great.
We want to put on the shownotes the information about your
show with your friend.
Andrew Davie (24:47):
Sure yes.
Daniela (24:48):
So we will add that to the show notes.
Anybody who likes heavy metalmusic will be able to find your
analysis about it Sounds great.
So, andrew, thank you so muchfor reaching out and for wanting
to share your story.
I appreciate it and I'mgrateful that I have met you.
Andrew Davie (25:03):
Thank, you Likewise.
I really appreciate it.
Take care.
Daniela (25:06):
I hope you enjoyed today's episode I am Daniela and
you were listening to, becauseEveryone has a Story.
Please take five seconds rightnow and think of somebody in
your life that may enjoy whatyou just heard, or someone that
has a story to be shared andpreserved.
When you think of that person,shoot them a text with the link
of this podcast.
(25:26):
This would allow the ordinarymagic to go further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto.
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseeveryone has a story, the place
to give ordinary people, stories, the chance to be shared and
preserved.
Our stories become the languageof connections.
Let's enjoy it.
Connect and relate, becauseeveryone has a story.
Welcome my guest, andrew David.
(00:33):
How many times have wequestioned the strength of the
human spirit in the face ofadversity?
Well, here is Andrew.
He is a crime fiction novelist,short story writer, volunteer.
He's also on a podcast with herfriend Heather analyzing heavy
metal music.
He decided to come to the showto recount his captivating fight
(00:57):
against a ruptured brainaneurysm.
Andrew's story takes us throughthe personal twists and turns
of his life following thatfaithful day at the airport.
Andrew's story is a shinyexample for anyone who is going
through tough times.
It shows us how important it isto be strong and never lose
(01:19):
hope.
It might take more time, itmight take more work, but we
will get there.
Let's enjoy his story.
Andrew Davie (01:26):
Welcome, andrew to the show.
Thank you so much.
It's great to be here.
Daniela (01:30):
Andrew, we were talking last week and you had a really
interesting situation happeningto you.
Of course, you have a story toshare.
Why do you want to share yourstory?
Andrew Davie (01:40):
I think people who are struggling with difficulty
right now.
My story is one of triumph, soI'm hoping that if people hear
it, they will feel better aboutmanaging to overcome difficulty
in their own life.
Daniela (01:51):
And is sharing your story also helping you.
Andrew Davie (01:53):
Yes, it's very much a cathartic thing where I
feel more comfortable afterwardas well.
Daniela (01:59):
Oh, I think that's an important point of people forget
you sharing it.
It makes you feel better aswell, great.
So when does your story start?
Andrew Davie (02:07):
Probably the best part to start is June of 2018.
So about almost five years ago,I had just finished the year.
I was a teacher, a high schoolEnglish teacher, and I had
decided I wasn't going to renewmy teaching contract.
Instead, I was going to try toget a PhD in creative writing.
I had begun to apply to schools, but I hadn't gotten in
(02:29):
anywhere and, since it was thesummertime, I was about to go
visit my parents who live out ofstate.
So I was going to fly and I gotto the airport that morning.
I got to my gate and I startedto sweat uncontrollably.
This is before COVID.
I thought I might be coming downwith a cold or the flu, but
that was it.
There were no other indications.
(02:49):
And then they called my groupand I lifted my bag and it felt
like I had cinder blocks in mybag.
Probably should have been a redflag at the time and I
shouldn't have just disregardedit, but I thought you know what?
I'm probably just getting sick.
If I get on the plane, I cantake a nap, and when I land,
everything will be fine.
I began to walk toward thejetway, I scanned my ticket and
(03:10):
the floor started to shift, likeI was in a carnival funhouse.
I still wasn't thinking clearlyat the time.
I remember thinking it's goingto be difficult to walk onto the
plane if the floor is moving,so I'll have to figure out how
to account for that.
So I took a step forward and Ifell.
Fortunately I didn't get on theplane and because I was at the
(03:30):
airport and I was in public,first responders could get to me
and it turned out I wasexperiencing a ruptured brain
aneurysm.
The fact that it happened whenI was on the jetway in a public
place is what essentially savedmy life.
Daniela (03:43):
Because you were at the airport, they could get faster
to you.
Andrew Davie (03:46):
Yeah, if I had been in the bathroom or if I'd
gotten on the plane or if I'dstill been on the train going to
the airport, I probablywouldn't be sitting here talking
to you right now.
It happened to work out thetiming of it worked out so that
I was in a public place in frontof other people.
I remember saying someone saiddon't move, and they put a neck
brace on and I rememberparamedics had begun to take
(04:10):
care of me.
When they said don't move, Ireplied with I can't miss my
flight, because all I couldthink about was how disappointed
and upset my parents would bethat I missed my flight.
And then I don't remember thenext three weeks I was in
intensive care, I managed to goto the hospital, I was in
surgery and then the next threeweeks I was up and I was alert
(04:30):
and I've seen videos of meeating food and responding to
people, but I have no memory ofit, oh wow.
At the time my brother and hisfamily were also visiting my
parents.
He called my cell phone a bunchof times when I didn't get on
the plane JetBlue whom I wasflying.
I had filled out the emergencycontact form so they let my
family know that I didn't missmy flight, but they didn't know
(04:53):
and knew what the details were.
Eventually my neurosurgeon'sphysician's assistant found my
phone and saw a bunch of missedcalls, so he called my brother,
told him what had happened andmy family made the trip to
Washington DC where I was in thehospital.
Daniela (05:08):
How long were you without your family knowing that
you were in the hospital?
Andrew Davie (05:12):
Probably, maybe 10 hours, 15 hours.
Okay, it was the same day.
They managed to get a flight tocome up and then my brother
drove their car, so everyone washere and it was sort of touch
and go for those first few weekswhether or not I would make it.
I think the big question was,if I did make it, would anything
be really different?
Would I still be the sameperson?
(05:33):
Would I have the samepersonality?
I think I had a second bleed atone point.
For some reason I kept thinkingthat when I would need to use
the bathroom I would have to getout of bed instead of the
catheter that I had had.
One of the first nights I triedto get out of bed and I fell
and broke my notes.
Yeah, so I mean, everythingwent right in the grand scheme
of things, but everything alsoseemed to go wrong.
(05:56):
And then I became lucid afterabout three weeks and I went
into the rehab wing.
And then the next few years, ifI can condense it, the first
year was mostly physicalrecovery, where initially I had
to walk with a cane and then Icould give up walking with the
cane.
I had had double vision, so Iwore an eye patch and then
(06:16):
eventually my vision healed.
It was a lot of.
The emotional recovery took alot longer.
The initial thought is thatsuddenly one day you'll feel the
same that you used to, andthat's not really true.
There are elements of my formerlife that I still in touch with
the same people and I still seethe same friends, but it's not
the same existence that I'd hadbefore the injury.
Daniela (06:38):
When you were at the hospital and you started to be
conscious of what was happening.
How do you feel that you feltlike all your dreams or plans?
Not yet.
Andrew Davie (06:47):
What I've discovered that's interesting is
the physical recovery happensfirst.
Other people have confirmedthis, that it's not just me.
If you're in a traumaticexperience, usually you focus so
much on the physical aspects ofyour recovery first, and then,
as that begins to taper off,then you begin to think about
(07:09):
some of the more existentialquestions like what do I do?
What does this all mean?
Why am I here?
Things that you would thinkabout normally.
But now it's a little different.
I used to think that when I wasout of the hospital and I went
back home, that it would be likeputting an old jacket on that
still fit, and it turned out tobe very different.
(07:30):
I had to sort of reevaluatewhat my goals were, what
mattered to me anymore.
Daniela (07:36):
You raise a very good point.
People take care of thephysical.
You have to walk, you have todo all these things and then
don't work at the same time withthe emotional part.
Do you think that they shoulddo that, they should work
together, or you really need tofocus on the physical first?
Andrew Davie (07:50):
I think that's just how it happens.
I don't necessarily know ifthere's a choice involved.
I think your body and mindprobably focus on the physical
recovery, first because it's sonecessary you need to be able to
eat and walk and sleep to liveand then, as that sort of gets
taken care of, then your mindbegins to focus on larger
(08:12):
questions that are moreemotional.
Daniela (08:13):
So what happened then?
You came home and you wereobviously going to leave with
your parents.
Now I am assuming normal school.
Andrew Davie (08:20):
I went back to the same school to try and be a
substitute teacher.
I didn't get into any of thePhD programs I had applied to
and they were looking forsubstitute teachers, but it was
a little too overwhelming.
I had worked with kids who haveADHD and learning differences
and they really need somebodywho's at 100% capacity, so I
(08:41):
wasn't really the best candidate.
And then I thought, sinceteaching was my experience, I
could get a job as a tutor.
So in March of 2020, I wasliving back in my old apartment
and I found a job at a tutoringcenter.
So I thought that would be whatI did.
And then, in April of 2020,when COVID hit, the job was
(09:01):
canceled.
At that point, I moved back inwith my parents because no one
knew what was really going tohappen, and that was really
strange because I had gone froma very personal experience,
recovering from an aneurysm thatwas difficult to articulate to
people, and now, all of a sudden, everyone is dealing with a
similar problem in a worldwidepandemic.
(09:22):
So that's when I lived with myparents for a year and I could
really fully think about how Iwanted to spend my future,
instead of going back toteaching, because it was what I
knew, I figured there might besomething that's a better fit.
During COVID I thought aboutbecoming a mental health
counselor.
So that's I'm actually now backin school, getting my degree,
(09:46):
so I can help other peoplerecover from brain injuries with
what I've learned.
Daniela (09:52):
Okay, so you wanted to become a counselor, but what
happened with the writing?
Andrew Davie (09:55):
Fortunately, I decided that I would see if I
could still write, just to beable to do it.
By that time I had alreadypublished a crime fiction book,
so I had sort of crossed thatline before.
Now.
I just wanted to see can Istill do it?
I began writing something thatwas just going to be an exercise
, mostly to see if I could stillwrite.
I realized that I could, soI've been able to continue to
(10:18):
write on my own.
I've published more books sincethen, but it's not the main
focus that it used to be.
That was part of the changesthat I had to become comfortable
with.
Previously, wanting to be apublished author was the number
one goal in my life.
That I thought would somehowchange everything, and then I
realized that I needed to havemore to focus on.
Daniela (10:41):
How do you feel that you had this big dream and now
you moved to the side?
Andrew Davie (10:46):
Yes, I think I was under the impression that if I
published a book then I wouldsuddenly maybe be the next John
Grisham.
That would open a lot ofopportunities for me.
Suddenly my life would changeand even though I did publish a
book, that didn't happen.
So I think I had to reevaluatewhat my expectations were.
All of this sort of happenedbecause I had had the brain
(11:10):
injury and that sort of forcedme to reevaluate everything.
I had also thought before theinjury that I would settle down,
possibly get married, start afamily.
That was also a very importantthing.
After the brain injury I havedifficulty making emotional
connections.
Sometimes I realized that thatwould be difficult to have a
(11:33):
relationship with somebody ifI'm unable to connect with them
emotionally.
Even though that may come backone day, I realized it would
sort of be futile and notimportant to try and force it.
I'm enjoying now.
I write for myself and if Ifind something that I enjoy that
I think would be worthwhile, Isend it out to a publisher.
I had been dating for a littlewhile but I decided to stop
(11:56):
because it just seemed like itwasn't the worthwhile thing and
then, rather than go back toteaching, I thought counseling
would be a better fit, andhelping other people would be
more beneficial to me.
Daniela (12:07):
Good, interesting.
Thank you for explaining thatYou're in counseling and you
have difficulties to connectwith feelings.
It's easier for you to be acounselor because even though
you can connect, but you won'tnot take it internally as much.
Andrew Davie (12:21):
Yeah, there's something called transference
and counter-transference.
When, if you're a therapist andyour client's story begins to
affect you emotionally, that'scalled transference.
I don't have to worry about it.
If I hear a story from somebodythat's really sad, it won't
necessarily affect meemotionally, which is probably a
good thing because I can remainobjective.
Daniela (12:43):
And Andrew, were you emotional before?
Andrew Davie (12:46):
Sure, not that I was necessarily prone to crying
all the time or laughing all thetime, but I definitely would
experience emotions more deeplythan I do now.
Like, would you?
get really angry or no, I thinka good example is so often now
there'll be commercials foranimals to be rescued from abuse
(13:07):
and typically they have verysad songs playing and often
people will cry when they watchthose because it's supposed to
be sad.
So before, if I watched one, Iwould probably tear up.
Whether or not I would go intodeep crying probably not, but I
would certainly would cry or Iwould tear up.
Now I can sort of feel thatbeginning to happen and then it
(13:29):
stops.
Daniela (13:30):
Begins to happen and it stops, but it kind of happens.
Andrew Davie (13:33):
Yeah, so working with therapists who practice is
something called somaticexperience, and one of the
things that we work on isrecognizing how the emotion
presents itself, because it'sdifferent than it does before
For me, kind of recognizing,okay, that feeling in my chest
that I wasn't sure what it was.
(13:54):
That's how I process joy.
Before maybe it would have beena bigger feeling throughout my
whole body.
Now it's just a small feelingin my chest.
Daniela (14:02):
It's interesting that you say that I grew up in a
Latin country and I will sayempathy is my super power and
emotional.
When I watch a movie, I feellike that, that transfer concept
that you said, and so sometimesit's hard so I can watch things
that are very, some specificthings that people are being
treated badly or things likethat, cause I really feel it.
(14:22):
Going to a counselor, Iremember he was saying that you
know, having emotions is reallyimportant.
You always heard that oh no, no, emotions are not good.
You have to be logical andstrategic.
But now the emotions are comingmore to popularity.
However, I always thought thatif I didn't have emotions, I
will have been moving forward inmy work career more, because I
(14:46):
wouldn't have the feelings,Things wouldn't affect me as
much.
So I always thought thatemotions were not so helpful.
Andrew Davie (14:54):
It's a double-edged sword, because one
thing that I had to get used towas, even though I wouldn't feel
sadness the same and it's nicenot to be overwhelmed sometimes
by sadness I also don't feel joythe same way.
A lot of the emotions that wewould rather not be overwhelming
.
I also don't get the emotionsthat we would love to be
(15:15):
overwhelming the same way.
It's a trade-off.
Part of the difficulty in therecovery the emotional recovery
was being comfortable with that.
It took a long time.
It took about three, maybethree and a half years before I
began to feel comfortable withthe fact that my life had
changed and I could still enjoyeverything.
It would just look differentlythan what I had anticipated.
Daniela (15:38):
Those are emotions that you were having and that you're
having.
Andrew Davie (15:41):
Yeah, it's difficult to explain.
Sometimes there is an emotionalcomponent to it.
A lot of times it's how they'reprocessed or how they affect
you.
It's been a very long timesince I've cried, sobbing, which
I think is a result of what hadhappened, but I don't know for
sure.
Daniela (16:00):
Did your family notice that you were this cheerful,
loving guy and now you're not?
Andrew Davie (16:07):
No, no, I'm still the same cheerful, loving guy.
Another example I was in NewHampshire with a friend of mine.
We were by a lake and it wasthe sunset.
I remember thinking to myselfthis is really beautiful.
Thinking I'm going to feel somekind of beauty as an emotion,
and that never happened.
I could process itintellectually and say, wow,
this is really beautiful, butthat feeling that I thought
(16:30):
would accompany it didn't happen.
I don't know if that issupposed to happen or if I just
fooled myself into thinkingsomething is missing At this
point, adjusted to now, where Ijust appreciated for what it is
and I don't really look at thethings that I think should be
there anymore.
Daniela (16:46):
Yes, that's interesting .
It is what it is.
It's interesting that thishappened to you and that you
wanted to be a writer and now itdecided that you're going to be
counselor for people, to helppeople.
Andrew Davie (16:57):
Yeah, well, I can do both.
I can write for me personallyand I can help people for them
and for me.
I'm getting the best ofeverything.
That's kind of how I look at itright now.
Daniela (17:10):
Maybe the way you are now, you have some kind of
superpower.
Andrew Davie (17:13):
It's entirely possible.
Enough strange things havehappened in the last couple of
years.
I often joke that if we makecontact with aliens from Mars
next year, that it won't bestrange, because I survived a
brain aneurysm and then we hadCOVID.
Daniela (17:32):
Good.
What plans are you having,besides going to lots of
podcasts and sharing your storyand being a counselor any other
things that you have in yourback burner thinking the way you
could do?
Andrew Davie (17:44):
I'm still writing, which has been really enjoyable
.
I have a music review show onYouTube with a friend of mine
called Happy Hour with Heatherand Guest that we do weekly
where we review mostly heavymetal music.
I think, growing up, mostpeople have an idea of what
their life should look like Ishould have a good paying job
(18:04):
and I should have a family and Ishould have a car and I should
have 2.5 kids.
And then eventually you realizethat maybe you don't need to do
all those things.
I think I've gotten to thepoint now where I'm comfortable
that my life doesn't look likewhat I had thought it would, or
what society is telling you thatit should be.
(18:27):
Yeah, I think that's one of theways I look at the aneurysm now
is, even though it wasunpleasant and I wouldn't wish
it on anyone it allowed me toreevaluate how I wanted to live
my life.
I'm fortunate that I'm able tolive very active life.
Daniela (18:44):
Andrew, I think that's the gift.
Society tells people that wehave to be this way.
Let's start with families, howfamily is supposed to look like,
and now they know that that'snot true.
It's diverse, it's differentthings.
I don't like it when peoplethink that they have to be
married and they have to have ahouse and they have to have the
dog and they have to have thekid.
That's not what it's supposedto be.
You're supposed to be happysomehow and get to know who you
(19:06):
are, and that's the mostimportant thing.
If you are good, then whatevercomes next to you a partner, a
kid, a house, whatever is okay,but it's not what it has to be.
So people get stuck with thatand it's stressful for them.
Andrew Davie (19:18):
Well, that's sort of the road that I was on.
Because things changed, I wasable to take a step back and
reevaluate everything.
Daniela (19:25):
Yes, and I think that's the message that you need to
share with people.
You reevaluate it and you justwant to have the typical
American dream.
You just want to have your life.
And what are your values nowcompared with before?
Andrew Davie (19:39):
I used to think, like most people, missing
certain things that are outthere and I need to get them,
and what I've realized is that Ihave everything I need at this
point.
I'm fortunate.
I have friends, I have family,I have the ability to write, I'm
enjoying going to school to getmy degree.
There's nothing secret that'sout there that needs me to find
it in order to complete what Ihave Writing and doing the show
(20:01):
with my friend, being able to gosee family that those are the
things that are important.
Daniela (20:05):
Well, you are living the present, in the moment, and
you are really content with whatyou have, and that is something
that a lot of people don't get,so it's beautiful.
Andrew Davie (20:15):
Thank you.
Yeah, I always think of aquotation from Henry David
Thoreau where he said Mostpeople lead lives of quiet
desperation.
I was probably one of thosepeople, but now, fortunately,
I've been able to make enoughchanges.
Daniela (20:29):
That's awesome.
Thank you for bringing thispoint to the story.
I also want to ask do you thinkthat you can suffer from
depression?
Andrew Davie (20:38):
I think there was a period of time within the
first year of the recovery thatI probably was, I think, because
I've been able to addresseverything and I've made such
progress that I'm aware of.
I think I'll probably havedifficulties in the future, but
I don't think it'll be anythingthat I can't handle.
Daniela (20:58):
I thought that you wouldn't be able to be depressed
because you wouldn't have thatemotions.
Andrew Davie (21:02):
There was a period of time where I logically was
like what's the point of gettingout of bed If I'm not able to
do the things that used to bringme joy or they're not as
important anymore?
The logic of that just yourbrain yeah that was something
that I needed to adjust to.
I can process emotions, it'sjust the effect of it in terms
(21:23):
of sadness or happiness isdifferent.
I certainly had to reevaluatewhat were the valuable things in
my life that I would want toget out of bed for.
It's sort of difficult toexplain Through help you were
getting counseling.
Over time, I continued to healand feel better, and then, yeah,
I was working with a therapist,first for just to process
(21:45):
everything and then next foremotional Anything that you are
grateful for during the process?
Daniela (21:53):
is there anything that you will say thanks to these?
I believe is super important?
Andrew Davie (21:59):
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm really grateful to myfamily and my friends who've
been really supportivethroughout the whole thing.
There's a place that I gotservice from called Brain Injury
Services.
That have been really wonderful.
They offer services to peoplefor free who, if you've had any
kind of brain injury, you can gothere.
They have programs.
(22:19):
They've been reallyinstrumental in me sort of being
able to feel more comfortableas I go through this process the
Bee Foundation.
That's wonderful to know.
Along the way there have been alot of friends, family and
groups that have been helpfuljust lending support.
Daniela (22:34):
Great, and is there anything that you said?
I wish I wouldn't have donethis.
Andrew Davie (22:39):
It's really difficult not to have
expectations with everything,with how your recovery is going,
with what and so I think Iprobably would have tried better
to temper those expectations.
My physical recovery happenedwithin the first year mostly, so
I think I had assumedeverything would be better
(22:59):
within a year, and I think if Ihad to do it all over again, I
might remind myself that therecovery and everything happens
on its own schedule Wonderful.
Daniela (23:08):
That's good.
So you're a wise man, a healthyman now and a content person
who knows what they want in hislife.
That's amazing.
Andrew Davie (23:16):
Thank you, yes, I'm glad to be.
Daniela (23:18):
Yeah, that's very difficult to find people that
are at your level now.
So, yes, you had to go througha terrible thing, but you're in
a wonderful place now.
Andrew Davie (23:27):
Thank you.
Yeah, I feel it feels good.
You know, the journey is notover by any stretch, but I can
appreciate the progress thatI've made.
Daniela (23:34):
Excellent.
Have you met other people thathad had the same situation and
are not in the same place as youmentally and physically?
Andrew Davie (23:42):
So the Bee Foundation is specifically for
people who've had aneurysms.
Some of them have unrupturedaneurysms, others have had
ruptures, like myself.
Everyone is sort of at adifferent point.
It usually takes about three tofive years for people to begin
to feel comfortable again, andmany of the people that I've
(24:04):
spoken to are still at thebeginnings of their journey.
Daniela (24:07):
Great, and how do you find your?
You know the people that youhelp.
How do you advertise yourcounseling practice?
Andrew Davie (24:13):
Well, right now I'm working for a private
practice in Maryland as anintern.
Their clients are not from anyone particular population,
they're called LighthouseTherapeutic Services.
If you need service in Marylandor Washington DC, then you can
just go to them At some point.
I would like to work withpeople who are recovering from
(24:34):
brain injuries.
Daniela (24:36):
But so what are you doing at the moment?
Andrew Davie (24:37):
So at the moment I'm just just counseling regular
people.
Daniela (24:40):
Okay, wonderful, great.
We want to put on the shownotes the information about your
show with your friend.
Andrew Davie (24:47):
Sure yes.
Daniela (24:48):
So we will add that to the show notes.
Anybody who likes heavy metalmusic will be able to find your
analysis about it Sounds great.
So, andrew, thank you so muchfor reaching out and for wanting
to share your story.
I appreciate it and I'mgrateful that I have met you.
Andrew Davie (25:03):
Thank, you Likewise.
I really appreciate it.
Take care.
Daniela (25:06):
I hope you enjoyed today's episode I am Daniela and
you were listening to, becauseEveryone has a Story.
Please take five seconds rightnow and think of somebody in
your life that may enjoy whatyou just heard, or someone that
has a story to be shared andpreserved.
When you think of that person,shoot them a text with the link
of this podcast.
(25:26):
This would allow the ordinarymagic to go further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto.
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