What if you had a roadmap for adulthood that no one ever handed you? That's what Natasha Sattler, author of Shit, Adults Never Taught Us, has created. Inviting us on her journey, she unveils the inspiration behind her book, sparked during the quiet contemplation the pandemic brought. An easy-to-navigate guide, her book explores four pillars of adulthood - money and career, relationships, mental health, and life - through bite-sized wisdom nuggets.
Natasha is a Maryland native. She moved to LA straight after college and worked as a Producer in the film industry for almost a decade before she wrote her first book, "Shit Adults Never Taught Us," in six weeks.
Natasha doesn't just stop at her book. She generously spills over invaluable insights on community building in the digital world. She emphasizes soulful connections over mere numbers and encourages seeking out your tribe.
Natasha is a world traveller and podcaster. For her, travelling has been a pivotal factor in her self-discovery journey and plays a critical role in her forthcoming book. Also, her podcast, she says, allows a deeper exploration of topics that resonate with modern society.
Natasha lives in LA with her pet, Kingston.
Let's enjoy her story.
To contact Natasha: https://linktr.ee/shitadultsnevertaughtus
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Thank you for listening - Hasta Pronto!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daniela (00:00):
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseeveryone has a story, the place
to give ordinary people, stories, the chance to be shared and
preserved.
Our stories become the languageof connections.
(00:21):
Let's enjoy it, connect andrelate, because everyone has a
story.
Welcome my guest, NatashaSattler.
I had the pleasure of meetingNatasha, a native of Marlon who
moved to LA after college andworked as a film producer for
(00:43):
nearly a decade before writingher first book Shit Adults Never
Taught Us.
And in just six weeks I was soexcited to connect with her,
having heard of her clever booka few years ago.
And there she was on my networkAwesome.
As a parent, I always wonder ifI'm passing on all the
knowledge I can to my children.
(01:05):
Natasha's book is a greatresource for modern people,
offering vital information thatparents may have missed for
various reasons.
We talked about differentthings and it's quite impressive
how she emphasized theimportance of soulful
connections and encouragedothers to seek out their tribe.
She recognizes that theinformation in her book is
(01:29):
dynamic and will need updatingin future editions to keep up
with the changing times.
Natasha is also an avid worldtravel and a fellow pollcaster.
Her upcoming book placessignificant emphasis on the role
of travel, and her podcast thathas the same name as the book
Shit Adults Never Taught Usdwells deeper into topics that
(01:54):
resonate with modern society.
It is clear that Natasha has apassion for sharing her
experiences and knowledge withothers.
Let's enjoy it.
Welcome Natasha to the show.
Thank you so much.
I am very excited that you'rehere.
I learned about your book a fewyears ago Shit Adults Never
(02:14):
Taught Us yes.
Natasha Sattler (02:16):
It's a long one Shit.
Adults Never Taught Us.
They taught us a lap and theydidn't teach us everything.
Daniela (02:22):
Exactly and I was really curious about it.
And then, coincidentally, Ifound you.
Well, here you are at thepodcast and, bihas, I'm excited
that you are going to tell usyour story.
Thank you, yeah, I'm excited totell the story.
And so when did your storystart?
Natasha Sattler (02:38):
I could tell you the date.
It began in my mind, butunconsciously, probably since
birth, probably somewhere deep,deep in the back, but
consciously it began in thepandemic.
So I am not a writer, naturally.
It accidentally happened to me.
I make commercials.
I make TV commercials by tradeand I am a producer, so I'm
(02:59):
naturally very organized andjust want to share stories and
get information out there.
The pandemic happened in March2020 and I was working at a
company where I was making movietrailers and nobody was going
to the movies so they didn'tneed trailers.
So I found myself with way toomuch free time and a lot of
anxiety, and so I was findingoutlets for that anxiety through
(03:22):
writing, and I was just writingdown conversations I was having
with friends and things.
I was noticing that people werejust not grasping.
Like there was.
The book itself is broken intofour sections.
It's broken into money andcareer, then relationships, then
mental health and then life,and the reason it's broken into
those sections is those are thethemes I saw when I was having
(03:46):
conversations.
It was we are all furloughed,nobody has a job right now and
somehow nobody has savings.
Nobody knows what the stockmarket is, nobody knows if they
can take money out or into their401k.
There was also a lot ofquestions around.
People got very quick intorelationships or their
relationships were struggling.
The sudden time together andthe uncertainty of the world
(04:10):
really thrust relationships intoan unnatural state.
For a lot of people, the mentalhealth thing was a big thing.
A lot of people were dealingwith things they hadn't before
anxiety, depression,catastrophic thinking.
I think as a nation, america inparticular, kind of went
towards catastrophic thinkingand then life was just the stuff
that we didn't talk about,asking questions because we were
(04:33):
so afraid to talk to each other.
We went to Google instead ofanother person.
We held on to things instead ofideas and experiences.
There's just a lot there that Ithought if I'm struggling this
with this, my friends arestruggling with this and seeing
people, acquaintances, workersstruggling, there's got to be
something to it.
(04:54):
And so I started researching andwriting things down and the
book is 98 very quick chapters.
Each chapter is two or threepages, because I feel like when
I say 98 chapters, it freakspeople out.
It's not.
It's not, it's very quick andit's not a book that you read
linearly.
It's when that, if you'restruggling with something, you
take it off the shelf, you readone or two chapters and you put
(05:17):
it back and you take thoselessons, because I don't want
somebody to have to go out andbuy 98 individual self help
books.
I'm like you were talking aboutearlier.
I'm a doer, I need to do.
Do.
Do Like I can't just read it,put it down and be like, okay,
I'm a changed person now.
I read it so like, all is good,I don't need to do anything.
So at the end of about half ofthe chapters there's a checklist
(05:38):
of okay, you read these two orthree pages, now you're going to
go do these five things, and soI wanted people to be able to
put actionable steps into makingtheir life better, especially
younger people maybe think wheredo I start?
What do I do?
Like I read this these fewpages, but like what do I?
Daniela (05:56):
do now, how did you learn this?
So it seems like if you werewondering that people didn't
know about this, maybe becauseyou knew about it, maybe your
parents did a good job.
They did tell you shit I did.
Natasha Sattler (06:08):
They told me a lot and I had great teachers,
and I think the thing that a lotof people are thinking when
they read the title of the bookis that I am accusing or
villainizing adults of notteaching us things, and that is
so not true, and so not what thebook is about.
You could get that from like.
The first chapter is everybodyteaches from their own knowledge
(06:28):
base, so my parents taught mewhat they know and what they
experienced basically, justtaught me what they know and
what they experienced.
But I grew up in a generation Igraduated college into a
recession.
I went to school andunprecedented times.
I live in a very technologicallydriven world, with apps and
phones in a way that my parentsdidn't, and so when it comes to
(06:51):
finances or sticking with a job,I'm not sticking with a job for
25 years, and neither are mypeers.
Pensions matching 401ks are notas prevalent Savings account
and investing in the stockmarket is very different.
You don't have to go somewhere.
It's on your phone.
So a lot of these things thatseem really scary are because
they were taught to us in a waythat's no longer relevant.
(07:12):
I just broke it down like youwant to invest in the stock
market.
You don't need to put on a suitand go talk to a guy in a suit.
That's not how it works anymore.
You take $20 and you deposit itinto an account like Robinhood,
which is an app on your phone,and you play with it.
It's like socialized gambling.
It's a different world whereyou can watch it in real time in
(07:33):
a way that you couldn't before.
It's less scary when you breakit down for people that maybe
don't trust.
What we know didn't work forthe generation before.
In the same way it would workfor us and vice versa.
Daniela (07:45):
All right.
How do you divide these four?
How do you decide that thesewere the most four important
things?
Natasha Sattler (07:51):
Yeah, it seems like it was the three, four
most important things to people.
Then the life section was thesection of things that I just
thought were so vital andimportant that didn't fall into
one of the other categories.
But career and money is thefirst section because I feel
like this is actually thesection we maybe were taught.
It's the stuff that probablywas in school, but it's so
(08:14):
boring.
Everybody tunes out when youstart talking about money.
You start talking to a12-year-old about how to save.
It's boring.
They have $5 and they don'twant to save it, they want to
spend it.
I broke it down in funny, quick,witty chapters because it's
probably dig it taught and wejust skipped it.
Relationships it's a verysimilar thing.
(08:34):
You're not going to listen tothe lessons that your parents
taught you when you're ninebecause you're not in a
relationship Like once you're inthem, the lessons are happening
in real time.
I break them down and therelationship section actually
goes through the life of arelationship.
It starts with meeting andfalling in love and ends with
breakups and divorce.
(08:54):
Also in that section isredefining relationships with
your parents and siblings as youget older, making friends as an
adult.
It's not always romanticrelationships.
Then mental health is the mentalhealth that I saw as being most
common and misused in mysociety of my generation.
(09:17):
Instagram TikTokers that arejust throwing words around like
oh, I dated a narcissist, or oh,my friend is psychotic, or I
have such bad anxiety today.
Oh you know, my favorite showended.
I'm so depressed, like none ofthose things are being used
correctly, and so I wanted todefine what they actually are.
(09:39):
I think like depression, forinstance, we were shown videos
in school and it was said to uslike this is what depression
looks like, and if it didn'tlook exactly like that for you,
if you didn't have the exactsame symptoms as Jane on the
video, you're like oh well, I'mnot depressed, I'm just sad, and
I wanted people to know thatanxiety, depression, all of the
mental health things that fallinto those categories look
(10:02):
radically different from personto person.
Some people who are depressedget very tired and some have a
lot of energy and it's manic.
Some with anxiety get reallyhyper and try and fix and work
through their anxiety throughdoing, and some are paralyzed in
it and cannot move a muscle.
It will look very different forpeople.
So if you're comparing to theguy next to you who was
(10:23):
diagnosed as depressed.
You're like, well, I'm not that, so I'm not depressed, that's
not going to move you forward.
And so I broke it down what itcould look like, what it may
look like for you, but also justsome healing techniques, some
things to see.
Does this help?
Like the anxiety section I heal?
I wrote down six differentthings that work for me in six
(10:45):
different scenarios.
I'm not saying all six willwork for you.
All six don't work for me inevery instance but if one of
those or two of those works foryou occasionally, it might be
worth exploring that.
You may have anxiety, andthat's the goal.
It may not look the same foreverybody.
Daniela (11:01):
You did a lot of research.
I imagine I did a lot ofresearch.
Natasha Sattler (11:05):
Yes, I did a lot of research and I also
talked to people because I feellike the more we are becoming a
digital age, the less we'reactually talking to each other.
We're asking Google, we're nottalking.
I, anybody could Google thingsand Google gets very
overwhelming.
If you've ever asked onequestion and you get like 10
(11:26):
pages of results in the first,two, results that are like the
top, are completely differentfrom each other, like the first
one says you should do this andthe other one says you should
definitely not do that, you'regoing to feel overwhelmed and
confused and I found talking topeople and finding the most
common answers and advice thatwas the way forward.
(11:47):
It was people who have lived itas an experience.
What did they say from theother side and not what did
Google say from an?
Daniela (11:55):
algorithm.
Natasha, I have to ask you thequestion about community.
So what is your generationgoing to think about?
People are more work, work,work, take care of your house
and you're busy all the time andif you want to see a friend,
you have to like, book a date toadvance and and there's no that
sense of community and, as yousaid, people are looking for
Google instead of like talkingto people.
(12:17):
That is really affecting themental health of people, so how
do you think that that's goingto be fixed?
Natasha Sattler (12:24):
It's interesting because community, I
think, is so important and isgetting redefined for us every
day.
So community when you'reyounger, it's your family and
your school friends.
As you get older, it's thefriends that you have stuck with
, and then it's college friendsor work friends or friends that
share a common hobby with you,friends that you make in your
(12:46):
geographic vicinity.
Then, as you get older and youget married, you have kids, it's
your partner, it's the friendswithin your kids community, and
it evolves naturally.
There's a interesting shiftthat's happening because
community is now both expandingand contracting.
So I can reach anybody you arein Vancouver right now and I'm
(13:09):
talking to you.
I can reach anybody through theinternet.
I can find my community.
I can find people who like thesame stuff I do in three seconds
.
But not everybody in thosecommunities is nice.
Not everybody is going to comeat it with kindness and
especially behind a keyboard.
The internet is isolatingpeople, making them feel more
(13:30):
alone.
So it's finding the kindcommunity more important than
the close community.
Finding somebody who likes thesame things I do is different
than finding somebody whorelates to me on a soul level,
and that's where you're going tofind your answers.
That's where you're going tofind the person you can confide
(13:50):
in on a hard day.
And what I tell people is on thehard day, the day where you're
just exhausted, where you feellike I don't want to talk to
anybody except look at themoments of where you go, in
those moments I don't have ahard day at work.
I don't want to talk to anybodyexcept this one friend.
What is it about that friendthat makes you feel safe, seen,
(14:14):
heard?
That's what you should belooking for in the community, as
opposed to volume.
We are now like a likes followsmentality of I need 500 likes
and 1000 followers or whateverit is for you to feel seen and
validated, but that one personwho sees you on a bad day.
(14:34):
They are going to validate you,they're going to help you
through something, and sofinding the component that's in
there is that's more qualitythan the 500 lakes.
That's just quantity.
That's that's.
There's no depth to that.
Daniela (14:48):
But then everybody knows that, however, people are
not doing it.
So how do you do that?
How do you create yourcommunity of people, of kind
people that you relate?
Natasha Sattler (14:58):
to you.
I think it's the feeling we'reonline all of the time, and if
you talk to somebody online whogives you that feeling inside,
where you're like, oh, I feelsafe with this person, explore
that.
Don't, don't write that off.
There's the opposite of that,too.
If you're having a conversationor you're scrolling and even
scrolling and not interactingwith anybody, and you start to
(15:19):
feel bad about yourself, thenthat's not serving you.
That's not your community.
The algorithm is going to showyou things that you have spent a
lot of time on.
But if you've spent a lot oftime watching negative stories
or watching like true crimedramas or something, and you
leave it feeling icky orexhausted or like there's
something wrong with the world,that's just as telling as having
(15:44):
a great conversation withsomebody.
The community that you arebuilding now is what you are
going to.
It's what's going to defineyour mental health right.
So the community it's got to be, the feeling it's got to be
what is is keeping you safeinside.
What is?
I can't explain it in a word,because everybody knows that
(16:09):
feeling where you have aconversation with somebody and
it feels like you've known themfor a lifetime.
I think that's where thecommunity comes in but we get so
stuck in.
I want to chase this thing thateverybody else is chasing.
I want the validation and Iwant to be very clear that
validation and community aredifferent.
Validation isn't reallysomething anybody else can do
(16:31):
for you.
It's got to be something thatyou do for yourself.
Nobody else is going to tellyou what's right or wrong for
you.
They're just going to saywhat's right or wrong for them.
I think the community aspectit's getting redefined often,
but it's a feeling, it's not anumbers, it's not something you
can see, and that's the wayforward.
Great.
Daniela (16:50):
Going back to your book .
So you said you had anxiety andyou were doing the pandemic
nothing to do and you decidedokay, I'm going to write this
book.
So how was that process?
Natasha Sattler (17:01):
Scary, really scary, because, again, I didn't
really intend to.
So I just wrote everything intoa Google document and, as it
formed itself, I just keptwriting like, oh you know, I
want to write this.
I thought maybe it would be ablog for a second.
But then it goes back to you goon the internet and there's too
much information, there's toomany answers.
(17:21):
So I was like, okay, I don'tthink it should be on the
internet, so I wanted it all inone spot where, if somebody just
needs an answer, they can pullit off a shelf, they can go to
one resource.
So I wrote it, I edited it, Iedited it again, I went through,
I wrote it all in six weeks andthen I spent about six or seven
months editing it and refiningit, which still is a very fast
(17:43):
timeline, because I'm actuallyin the process of writing my
second book now, which has takentwo years, and I think it's
just.
It's not something that anybodyprepares you for the refining
of your own thoughts, becausemost people have a thought, they
move on, they never think aboutit again or maybe they come
back to it later.
But the refining of your ownthoughts gives you such a deep
(18:07):
introspection to yourself that Iwas not ready for, and it was
really really scary.
Daniela (18:14):
Who was supporting you, what the community you had
during those times?
Natasha Sattler (18:18):
My parents were fantastic.
But the more people that I toldabout the book what it was so
helpful because there were daysI wanted to give up and be like
you know what.
Never mind, that was an idea.
I'm not going to publish it butthe more I told people about
the book, the more people askedabout it and they would say
when's it coming out, what'shappening with it?
Or there was accountabilitythere.
But also, seeing theirexcitement for it, their desire
(18:41):
to read it, it reinforced theidea that this is something
that's needed in the world, andespecially for younger
generations, where there hasn'tbeen one answer towards
something or things are changingso rapidly that just a little
bit of guidance has beennecessary.
It feels like Like there therewas a space for this book, there
(19:05):
was a need for it, and thatneed is what drove me forward.
Daniela (19:08):
And how was the anxiety ?
How do you manage that?
Natasha Sattler (19:12):
Oh, I have a lot of techniques that I use to
manage anxiety, but the writingwas so helpful.
I think writing is my mainoutlet for anxiety because I'm
one of those people that, like,has one thought and then it
sticks in their head and wakesthem up at two o'clock in the
morning and rolls around for awhile and getting it out,
putting it on paper, giving lifeto the words, takes it out of
(19:33):
the loop.
That gets stuck in my head.
So it was actually reallyhelpful.
Daniela (19:37):
Oh, wow.
Yes, that's super interesting.
I'm glad you said that.
So six weeks and then sevenmonths to edit it polish it.
Did you ever thought, okay,this is ready, or you always had
doubts, like I don't know, itcould be better?
Natasha Sattler (19:49):
The book's been out for two years, I still
don't think it's ready.
I still am like, I still amlike I love the idea of having a
manual, like a life manual.
But I think life and societychanges so often that it's
impossible, because we'rechanging.
(20:11):
And I say that because, like,even as I read the book now, I'm
like, oh wow, I'm reading itthrough totally different
lengths, and I think that's kindof the beauty of the book,
especially, like I was talkingrecently about the relationship
chapter.
You could read that wholechapter single and read it one
way.
Then you read it from onerelationship.
You read it in an entirelydifferent way.
(20:31):
You read it going through abreakup.
It's entirely different.
You read it from anotherrelationship, with a different
person.
It's different Every time youpick it up.
It's you're at a differentpoint in your life, coming at it
through different circumstances.
So when you're rereading it,you're reading it like it's
fresh and new, and I thinkthat's what's great about it is,
life is never the same.
Every single moment isredefining it for you, and so
(20:54):
it's just, it's a tool.
It's not a manual.
It can't be, because lifechanges so frequently.
It's just a guide, it's just avery gentle little guide.
Daniela (21:02):
It sounds like a very versatile book.
Natasha Sattler (21:06):
It is.
It is because I don't tellanybody that there's a right or
wrong way to do something,because I don't think there is
there's.
Sometimes we need a little help, we need a little nudge, and
that's all it's meant to be.
Daniela (21:16):
But do you feel like maybe in the 10 years from now
and another generation is, thebook needs to get a new addition
because the generation will dothings differently?
Natasha Sattler (21:27):
I do, yeah, and I think the reason that the
book exists is because thegeneration above mine did things
differently, and I wrote it forthe generation of mine and
below, like Gen Z andMillennials, because we're doing
things a little bit differently.
And then, yes, of course, thekids coming up now are gonna do
things wildly differently and Ithink that's supposed to happen.
(21:48):
You're supposed to redefine it.
I'm excited for that, but, yeah, it's gonna need some updating
and, especially as things keepevolving, like you said,
community, the word, thedefinition of community is
evolving.
Because of that, we're gonnakeep needing new additions of
this.
Daniela (22:04):
Going back to the community, the thing is that we
do need that connection.
We still don't make an effortto get it, because I think
that's key, Like once you haveit, you know like wow, I feel
really connected, I feel like Ibelong.
However, people don't tend todo that because they get busy
with the day-to-day, that theybelieve that it's more important
.
Natasha Sattler (22:24):
Yeah, and we're getting more isolated
because answers aren't comingfrom each other.
I think the fastest way tocommunity is conversation and
asking questions, finding theanswers to life outside of A
your own head, because we getstuck in these loops.
But also we now have chat GPTwhich, I keep joking, is just,
(22:46):
you know, a more advanced AskJeeves.
You ask a question and all of asudden you get one answer and
it's in depth and it's holisticand you go cool, I know
everything there is to knowabout that.
I can move on.
Ai is isolating us, google isisolating us, facebook and
Instagram and Twitter we feellike we're getting all of the
(23:07):
information, but reallyinformation is just coming at us
with very little in return,where conversation is a give and
take, and that builds community, that builds a relationship and
that's, like you said, soimportant.
Daniela (23:20):
Yes, you said yes, your friend.
That makes you feel that way,but I know the fact that when
you go to some cities more thanothers, you go to the butcher
thing and they know you and theysay hello and good to see you,
and you go and have a coffee andthey recognize you, they
actually know who you are.
If you go to the gym and thensomebody who always goes there
says hello to you don't knowthat kind of thing, that oh,
(23:42):
that person knows that youbelong, that you're here.
Natasha Sattler (23:46):
Yeah, if we're finding ourselves isolated and
sort of stuck in that I don'thave a community aspect, I
encourage people to do exactlythat To take a class.
Like there's so many resourcesto go and just you can take a
cooking class, you can go dopottery, you can go anywhere,
literally do a class with people.
(24:06):
Do a walking tour in your owncity or go an hour outside, go
to a bar, talk to the peoplenext to you.
Go to a coffee shop, talk topeople.
Even talking to somebody inline.
Having a five minuteconversation with somebody will
reignite something in you.
It reminds you why that'simportant, especially if you
haven't talked to somebody newin a long time.
(24:29):
Relationships can get stale andthere can be something that
infuses in you.
If you go and talk to a brandnew person and just have this
very brief spark, that's all ittakes sometimes.
Daniela (24:43):
Also, I think it's a personality thing.
The people that are introverts,that they don't really like to
talk to somebody.
That's the problem too.
I think it's also personality.
So if you're introvert and youreally don't feel comfortable,
then maybe you never do that andso you don't have those
opportunities.
Natasha Sattler (25:01):
Yeah, and I'm outgoing as well, so I
understand that for some peopleit's definitely easier than
others.
There are things that people doin their daily life, like how
many times do people go to thebank, go to the grocery store,
go to wherever you go to pick upfood and you leave, you get in
your car and you cannot tell mewhat the person you just talked
(25:21):
to looks like.
So sometimes it's not sayinganything.
It's when you're going aboutyour daily life.
Just look up, just look at theperson.
You might be going through thebank and you say I need to take
out this much cash here's thecheck, here's this and you're
looking down the whole time.
Just look up, if you are inline at the grocery store saying
, saying hi, how are you?
(25:43):
And actually listening to whatthey say, even if they just say
good, how are you Like, listento the words and look at them?
That's such a small littleTweak that can be made and
you're not doing anythingdifferent than you normally
would do.
You're not going out to a newhobby.
Sometimes being in a movietheater, I think, is really
(26:04):
interesting because it's darkand so You're surrounded by
people, but it can feel Likeyou're alone.
Because it's dark, you don'thave to talk to anybody, but
you're all sharing an experiencethat can feel uniting in a way
where you're not at homewatching it on your couch.
That can happen in live theater.
It can happen with so manydifferent things and sometimes
(26:26):
on your way out you can findanother solo person, just walk
near them and be like man.
It's so good and maybe you'restarting a conversation with
them.
There are subtle things you cando, tiny tweaks that may not
feel so scary.
Daniela (26:39):
Yeah, it seems like we could start a movement about
just say hi.
Natasha Sattler (26:45):
Yeah, just say hi.
Daniela (26:46):
Yes, just say hello.
It's a smile, that's.
That is such an incrediblething.
I remember that I was in thesupermarket and this woman
Smiled at me and I was like, wow.
So I think that's that's theanother thing that we could do,
like look at people and smile.
Natasha Sattler (27:02):
I also think you're talking about, like
parents and kids earlier, Ithink, parents Doing that models
for their children.
There is an organization calledSandy Hook Promise.
That is in the US and they areleading through.
They're trying to prevent gunviolence, but one of their
campaigns it starts with helloand the idea is that kids in
(27:23):
school Don't talk to everybody.
There's always a couple kidsthat are isolated and the kids
that sort of seem outsiders orwhatever.
They are the kids more likelyto turn to violence or to to
have mental health problems, andit starts with hello.
Passing somebody in a hallwayand just saying hello.
You do not need to stop andtalk to anybody, just look them
(27:45):
in the eyes, say hello, keepwalking.
It is one second of your dayand One of the things that they
say is if they see their parentsdo this in life you pass
somebody in a grocery store, youmake eye contact and you say
hello, they're more likely to doit.
So it's making tiny changes.
We're not asking you to have awhole conversation.
We're not asking you to sayanything you wouldn't otherwise
(28:07):
say.
Just walking past somebody andsaying hello could change their
day In a way you don't even knowanother example is homeless
people.
Daniela (28:16):
When they are Money, instead of looking away because
you don't want to give the money, I always look and say hello.
I don't give the money, but Ialways say hello because it's
part, they're part of thecommunity and you're
acknowledging that they're there.
I see you, I hear you, you knowthat kind of thing.
I think it's missing at times.
Natasha Sattler (28:35):
Yeah, that people exist.
It can be really hard, whenwe're in an isolated world and
Everything's behind a screen, tosay these are real people.
These people exist, especiallyin LA.
Like I live in LA.
Nobody walks really here, we'reall in our cars and so if
everybody is just behind a car,behind a screen, behind a desk,
it's distance is disconnecting.
(28:56):
I want people to do onesentence, one word Hello or have
a great day.
Yes, something that simple.
Like I do the same.
When I pass a homeless personand they say, hey, ma'am, do you
have a moment or can you sparesome change?
I just go, not today, but havea great day, that's a good one.
It's very simple and if youhave it rehearsed it's not so
(29:18):
scary.
But if you're an introvert andyou go, okay.
If I see a homeless personoutside of the convenience store
today and they ask me for money, I'll just say not today, have
a great day, like it's rehearsed, you know if you know what?
Daniela (29:29):
it's gonna be great easier, and Natasha.
So what happened after the bookwas published?
Do you publish it yourself oryou had to find a publishing?
What was the process?
Natasha Sattler (29:39):
Yeah, so I went through the process of
agents and publishers and nobodyquite resonated with the book
the way I did.
They wanted things changed orit was, you know, the the
language maybe isn't quite whatthey were looking for, and so I
Went through Amazon and Barnesand Noble, so it's available
both on Amazon and Barnes andNoble.
(30:01):
And then it has evolved sincethen and it has a podcast now
and it's taken sort of a life ofits own and people are having
conversations, there's acommunity around it as well and
and that's become really special, so there's a podcast as well.
Daniela (30:16):
There is.
Yeah, tell me about that.
Is it yours or somebody else?
No, so it's mine.
Natasha Sattler (30:21):
With the book.
It's 98 chapters that were whatI deemed the most important at
the time, and then when the bookgot published, I realized,
through having conversationslike this and promoting it oh
wait, that was a chapter Iwanted to include or, oh, I wish
I could have talked about this.
And so the podcast isAdditional topics, like as they
(30:42):
come up in real time, like youwere talking about.
Like a second edition hastopics change or come up in real
time, or something has happenedin the world that feels like it
needs discussing.
One recently was like housingthe.
The market for housing haschanged drastically, and so the
topics that are more relevant,that maybe weren't necessarily
(31:04):
Classics they didn't have thelongevity that was necessary in
the book, but I still want totalk about them found their way
to a podcast episode.
Daniela (31:11):
That's great.
Great, it's how many episodesyou have already.
Natasha Sattler (31:15):
I'm in season three.
Season one and two have tenepisodes each and then so far
season three, I believe, haseight.
It's quick, like 30 35ishminute episodes of just one more
topic, like one quick topicthat wasn't discussed.
Daniela (31:29):
Also, but you do it yourself or you do, you have
guests.
Natasha Sattler (31:33):
I have guests, yeah, so each talk, each
episode is with a guest and wediscuss one topic that they are
an expert in.
Daniela (31:39):
Yes, and so that that's perfect that you're doing that,
because then you will alwayshave to book a life.
That is the best way of havingit.
You don't need a second editionor anything like that.
Natasha Sattler (31:49):
Yeah, I mean, eventually I think it will
probably need a second edition,just as the world changes.
But I think the way that thepodcast is structured is because
I'm having more in-depthconversations.
It gets deeper into certaintopics that are more relevant in
today society, but also itupdates itself and not everybody
(32:10):
likes to read.
People are more audio based orthey need something on the way
to work.
Daniela (32:14):
That's been really special too, but you also have
the book, the audiobook, or not?
Natasha Sattler (32:21):
No, I haven't done the audiobook for it yet.
It's on my list one day.
Daniela (32:26):
Yeah, and I, and I think it's very important that
you do it with your own voice,because I think that makes a
huge difference.
Natasha Sattler (32:30):
Thank you.
Yeah, I agree, especiallybecause there's some witty
sarcastic tones in there that Ithink have to come across.
Daniela (32:40):
Great.
So podcast commercial producer,you are an author, what else do
you do?
Natasha Sattler (32:46):
I travel a lot , I love to travel.
That's just a passion of mine.
And then over the past yearI've bought and renovated a
house which has unintentionallybecome a large part of my
personality.
I think just havingconversations with the people is
what, like, really makes mehappy, and so I do a lot of
these podcasts, and it makesjust brings joy into my life.
Daniela (33:07):
The outgoing on us is just like we need to talk to
different people.
So what about the travel?
What would you do?
You'd go?
You're a travel, do you havetwo weeks off or you just take
more time?
Tell me more about that,because I love traveling.
Natasha Sattler (33:23):
I love traveling.
It's something that I startedmaybe five or six years ago,
traveling alone, but I've alwaysenjoyed traveling with friends,
family, significant others,whatever it may be.
But a few years ago I startedtraveling alone and now it's
something I try to do for a weekor two every year.
I went to Portugal last year, Iwent to Italy the year before
and Spain I went to Barcelona.
(33:45):
I've been all over SoutheastAsia.
One time I went to Vancouverfor a weekend.
So I find that I discover a lotabout myself through travel.
That's my next book is actuallywhat I've discovered and
learned about myself through theplaces I've been.
To travel alone or to travel ingeneral, to travel in general
(34:07):
primarily, but, yeah, a coupleof the chapters about traveling
alone.
I think it's so important.
Daniela (34:13):
Yes, it is.
I am itchy if I don't gosomewhere.
Yeah, you only take two weeksholidays or you go for a longer
time.
Natasha Sattler (34:21):
I have a longer amount of vacation
allotment, but also becausetravel is such a priority in my
life, I just make the time forit.
I find holidays like 4th ofJuly or Memorial Day or any of
the the breaks that I get, and Itake advantage of those.
I couple them with vacations.
I utilize my vacation days.
(34:43):
I tweak things as needed, likemaybe I travel at midnight, or
you know.
Daniela (34:50):
I make it work.
You're a young woman who knowsa lot about her values.
Natasha Sattler (34:54):
Yeah, I took a while to get here, though, and
I don't discourage anybody fromexploring what they need to
explore.
I don't think that there's atimetable on when you get to
know yourself.
For me, it really didn't happenuntil my late 20s, early 30s.
I think there's this pressurefor people to like know who you
are 18, 20, 25 and I say ittakes people, however long it
(35:19):
takes them.
Daniela (35:19):
Yeah, some people die without knowing exactly what
they want or what they wish, andI think that's the goal To me.
I figured out and not as young,at the same age as you, a
little later that we are here tothis world just to know who we
are and that's all we have to do.
Forget about judging otherpeople or trying to do a career.
(35:39):
It's just like what is it?
Who are you, what are you herefor?
And that's when you figure thatout.
You will be very content inlife.
Natasha Sattler (35:47):
I think that's the biggest thing that we can
leave behind is just the legacyof ourselves.
If you are just completely youand you go through life knowing
who you are, leading with thosevalues, other people will take
that lesson, learn more aboutthemselves, and it will carry
through.
That's, I agree.
That's all we're here to do.
(36:08):
We're here to teach each otherwho we are.
Daniela (36:10):
Yes, exactly to teach who we are, not to teach others
what we know.
Natasha Sattler (36:16):
Yeah right, yeah, no.
I would never say you are thisway.
I just know who I am.
Daniela (36:21):
Yes, exactly, people tend to do that when you're
driving, getting upset withpeople because they don't drive
the way it should be, or littlethings like that.
Right, and?
And the truth is, everybody hastheir journey also to learn
different things in their way,so that's great.
So what is next?
So you are have the podcast,you are working on the second
book, you're traveling to Madrid.
Anything else that you're doingthat you want to share?
Natasha Sattler (36:44):
No, I think for now just exploring.
I continue to learn more aboutmyself.
I do anything that can keep meon that path.
I mean, work keeps me very busy.
Daniela (36:54):
Yes, I was gonna ask how do you manage to work and
write a book and travel and Imean because your work is
demanding.
Natasha Sattler (37:01):
I'm sure it is an extreme lack of sleep and I
just there's the saying of likeif you want to, you will.
I find the way.
There's always time.
People always say there's neverenough time, but there is,
there's enough time.
If you want it, you'll maketime, and so all of the things
in my life that I do areimportant to me, so I just find
(37:23):
a way to make it all workWonderful, so wonderful and so
well then.
Daniela (37:26):
thank you so much for finding the time to be in my
podcast.
Natasha Sattler (37:30):
Thank you for having me.
I will say if anybody wants tofollow my travels, it's Natsat
travels on Instagram, and if youwant to find the book, it's on
Amazon or Barnes.
Noble shit adults never taughtus.
And then there's also thepodcast shit adults never taught
us.
The Instagram links to both ofthose.
Daniela (37:49):
Wonderful.
Thank you so much, natasha, foryour time.
Thank you, this has beenwonderful.
Yes, it has been.
Thanks, I hope you enjoyed it.
Today's episode I am Danielaand you were listening to,
because everyone has a story.
Please take five seconds rightnow and think of somebody in
your life that may enjoy whatyou just heard, or someone that
(38:10):
has a story to be shared andpreserved.
When you think of that person,shoot them a text with the link
of this podcast.
This would allow the ordinarymagic to go further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto.
Hi, I'm Daniela.
Welcome to my podcast, becauseeveryone has a story, the place
to give ordinary people, stories, the chance to be shared and
preserved.
Our stories become the languageof connections.
(00:21):
Let's enjoy it, connect andrelate, because everyone has a
story.
Welcome my guest, NatashaSattler.
I had the pleasure of meetingNatasha, a native of Marlon who
moved to LA after college andworked as a film producer for
(00:43):
nearly a decade before writingher first book Shit Adults Never
Taught Us.
And in just six weeks I was soexcited to connect with her,
having heard of her clever booka few years ago.
And there she was on my networkAwesome.
As a parent, I always wonder ifI'm passing on all the
knowledge I can to my children.
(01:05):
Natasha's book is a greatresource for modern people,
offering vital information thatparents may have missed for
various reasons.
We talked about differentthings and it's quite impressive
how she emphasized theimportance of soulful
connections and encouragedothers to seek out their tribe.
She recognizes that theinformation in her book is
(01:29):
dynamic and will need updatingin future editions to keep up
with the changing times.
Natasha is also an avid worldtravel and a fellow pollcaster.
Her upcoming book placessignificant emphasis on the role
of travel, and her podcast thathas the same name as the book
Shit Adults Never Taught Usdwells deeper into topics that
(01:54):
resonate with modern society.
It is clear that Natasha has apassion for sharing her
experiences and knowledge withothers.
Let's enjoy it.
Welcome Natasha to the show.
Thank you so much.
I am very excited that you'rehere.
I learned about your book a fewyears ago Shit Adults Never
(02:14):
Taught Us yes.
Natasha Sattler (02:16):
It's a long one Shit.
Adults Never Taught Us.
They taught us a lap and theydidn't teach us everything.
Daniela (02:22):
Exactly and I was really curious about it.
And then, coincidentally, Ifound you.
Well, here you are at thepodcast and, bihas, I'm excited
that you are going to tell usyour story.
Thank you, yeah, I'm excited totell the story.
And so when did your storystart?
Natasha Sattler (02:38):
I could tell you the date.
It began in my mind, butunconsciously, probably since
birth, probably somewhere deep,deep in the back, but
consciously it began in thepandemic.
So I am not a writer, naturally.
It accidentally happened to me.
I make commercials.
I make TV commercials by tradeand I am a producer, so I'm
(02:59):
naturally very organized andjust want to share stories and
get information out there.
The pandemic happened in March2020 and I was working at a
company where I was making movietrailers and nobody was going
to the movies so they didn'tneed trailers.
So I found myself with way toomuch free time and a lot of
anxiety, and so I was findingoutlets for that anxiety through
(03:22):
writing, and I was just writingdown conversations I was having
with friends and things.
I was noticing that people werejust not grasping.
Like there was.
The book itself is broken intofour sections.
It's broken into money andcareer, then relationships, then
mental health and then life,and the reason it's broken into
those sections is those are thethemes I saw when I was having
(03:46):
conversations.
It was we are all furloughed,nobody has a job right now and
somehow nobody has savings.
Nobody knows what the stockmarket is, nobody knows if they
can take money out or into their401k.
There was also a lot ofquestions around.
People got very quick intorelationships or their
relationships were struggling.
The sudden time together andthe uncertainty of the world
(04:10):
really thrust relationships intoan unnatural state.
For a lot of people, the mentalhealth thing was a big thing.
A lot of people were dealingwith things they hadn't before
anxiety, depression,catastrophic thinking.
I think as a nation, america inparticular, kind of went
towards catastrophic thinkingand then life was just the stuff
that we didn't talk about,asking questions because we were
(04:33):
so afraid to talk to each other.
We went to Google instead ofanother person.
We held on to things instead ofideas and experiences.
There's just a lot there that Ithought if I'm struggling this
with this, my friends arestruggling with this and seeing
people, acquaintances, workersstruggling, there's got to be
something to it.
(04:54):
And so I started researching andwriting things down and the
book is 98 very quick chapters.
Each chapter is two or threepages, because I feel like when
I say 98 chapters, it freakspeople out.
It's not.
It's not, it's very quick andit's not a book that you read
linearly.
It's when that, if you'restruggling with something, you
take it off the shelf, you readone or two chapters and you put
(05:17):
it back and you take thoselessons, because I don't want
somebody to have to go out andbuy 98 individual self help
books.
I'm like you were talking aboutearlier.
I'm a doer, I need to do.
Do.
Do Like I can't just read it,put it down and be like, okay,
I'm a changed person now.
I read it so like, all is good,I don't need to do anything.
So at the end of about half ofthe chapters there's a checklist
(05:38):
of okay, you read these two orthree pages, now you're going to
go do these five things, and soI wanted people to be able to
put actionable steps into makingtheir life better, especially
younger people maybe think wheredo I start?
What do I do?
Like I read this these fewpages, but like what do I?
Daniela (05:56):
do now, how did you learn this?
So it seems like if you werewondering that people didn't
know about this, maybe becauseyou knew about it, maybe your
parents did a good job.
They did tell you shit I did.
Natasha Sattler (06:08):
They told me a lot and I had great teachers,
and I think the thing that a lotof people are thinking when
they read the title of the bookis that I am accusing or
villainizing adults of notteaching us things, and that is
so not true, and so not what thebook is about.
You could get that from like.
The first chapter is everybodyteaches from their own knowledge
(06:28):
base, so my parents taught mewhat they know and what they
experienced basically, justtaught me what they know and
what they experienced.
But I grew up in a generation Igraduated college into a
recession.
I went to school andunprecedented times.
I live in a very technologicallydriven world, with apps and
phones in a way that my parentsdidn't, and so when it comes to
(06:51):
finances or sticking with a job,I'm not sticking with a job for
25 years, and neither are mypeers.
Pensions matching 401ks are notas prevalent Savings account
and investing in the stockmarket is very different.
You don't have to go somewhere.
It's on your phone.
So a lot of these things thatseem really scary are because
they were taught to us in a waythat's no longer relevant.
(07:12):
I just broke it down like youwant to invest in the stock
market.
You don't need to put on a suitand go talk to a guy in a suit.
That's not how it works anymore.
You take $20 and you deposit itinto an account like Robinhood,
which is an app on your phone,and you play with it.
It's like socialized gambling.
It's a different world whereyou can watch it in real time in
(07:33):
a way that you couldn't before.
It's less scary when you breakit down for people that maybe
don't trust.
What we know didn't work forthe generation before.
In the same way it would workfor us and vice versa.
Daniela (07:45):
All right.
How do you divide these four?
How do you decide that thesewere the most four important
things?
Natasha Sattler (07:51):
Yeah, it seems like it was the three, four
most important things to people.
Then the life section was thesection of things that I just
thought were so vital andimportant that didn't fall into
one of the other categories.
But career and money is thefirst section because I feel
like this is actually thesection we maybe were taught.
It's the stuff that probablywas in school, but it's so
(08:14):
boring.
Everybody tunes out when youstart talking about money.
You start talking to a12-year-old about how to save.
It's boring.
They have $5 and they don'twant to save it, they want to
spend it.
I broke it down in funny, quick,witty chapters because it's
probably dig it taught and wejust skipped it.
Relationships it's a verysimilar thing.
(08:34):
You're not going to listen tothe lessons that your parents
taught you when you're ninebecause you're not in a
relationship Like once you're inthem, the lessons are happening
in real time.
I break them down and therelationship section actually
goes through the life of arelationship.
It starts with meeting andfalling in love and ends with
breakups and divorce.
(08:54):
Also in that section isredefining relationships with
your parents and siblings as youget older, making friends as an
adult.
It's not always romanticrelationships.
Then mental health is the mentalhealth that I saw as being most
common and misused in mysociety of my generation.
(09:17):
Instagram TikTokers that arejust throwing words around like
oh, I dated a narcissist, or oh,my friend is psychotic, or I
have such bad anxiety today.
Oh you know, my favorite showended.
I'm so depressed, like none ofthose things are being used
correctly, and so I wanted todefine what they actually are.
(09:39):
I think like depression, forinstance, we were shown videos
in school and it was said to uslike this is what depression
looks like, and if it didn'tlook exactly like that for you,
if you didn't have the exactsame symptoms as Jane on the
video, you're like oh well, I'mnot depressed, I'm just sad, and
I wanted people to know thatanxiety, depression, all of the
mental health things that fallinto those categories look
(10:02):
radically different from personto person.
Some people who are depressedget very tired and some have a
lot of energy and it's manic.
Some with anxiety get reallyhyper and try and fix and work
through their anxiety throughdoing, and some are paralyzed in
it and cannot move a muscle.
It will look very different forpeople.
So if you're comparing to theguy next to you who was
(10:23):
diagnosed as depressed.
You're like, well, I'm not that, so I'm not depressed, that's
not going to move you forward.
And so I broke it down what itcould look like, what it may
look like for you, but also justsome healing techniques, some
things to see.
Does this help?
Like the anxiety section I heal?
I wrote down six differentthings that work for me in six
(10:45):
different scenarios.
I'm not saying all six willwork for you.
All six don't work for me inevery instance but if one of
those or two of those works foryou occasionally, it might be
worth exploring that.
You may have anxiety, andthat's the goal.
It may not look the same foreverybody.
Daniela (11:01):
You did a lot of research.
I imagine I did a lot ofresearch.
Natasha Sattler (11:05):
Yes, I did a lot of research and I also
talked to people because I feellike the more we are becoming a
digital age, the less we'reactually talking to each other.
We're asking Google, we're nottalking.
I, anybody could Google thingsand Google gets very
overwhelming.
If you've ever asked onequestion and you get like 10
(11:26):
pages of results in the first,two, results that are like the
top, are completely differentfrom each other, like the first
one says you should do this andthe other one says you should
definitely not do that, you'regoing to feel overwhelmed and
confused and I found talking topeople and finding the most
common answers and advice thatwas the way forward.
(11:47):
It was people who have lived itas an experience.
What did they say from theother side and not what did
Google say from an?
Daniela (11:55):
algorithm.
Natasha, I have to ask you thequestion about community.
So what is your generationgoing to think about?
People are more work, work,work, take care of your house
and you're busy all the time andif you want to see a friend,
you have to like, book a date toadvance and and there's no that
sense of community and, as yousaid, people are looking for
Google instead of like talkingto people.
(12:17):
That is really affecting themental health of people, so how
do you think that that's goingto be fixed?
Natasha Sattler (12:24):
It's interesting because community, I
think, is so important and isgetting redefined for us every
day.
So community when you'reyounger, it's your family and
your school friends.
As you get older, it's thefriends that you have stuck with
, and then it's college friendsor work friends or friends that
share a common hobby with you,friends that you make in your
(12:46):
geographic vicinity.
Then, as you get older and youget married, you have kids, it's
your partner, it's the friendswithin your kids community, and
it evolves naturally.
There's a interesting shiftthat's happening because
community is now both expandingand contracting.
So I can reach anybody you arein Vancouver right now and I'm
(13:09):
talking to you.
I can reach anybody through theinternet.
I can find my community.
I can find people who like thesame stuff I do in three seconds
.
But not everybody in thosecommunities is nice.
Not everybody is going to comeat it with kindness and
especially behind a keyboard.
The internet is isolatingpeople, making them feel more
(13:30):
alone.
So it's finding the kindcommunity more important than
the close community.
Finding somebody who likes thesame things I do is different
than finding somebody whorelates to me on a soul level,
and that's where you're going tofind your answers.
That's where you're going tofind the person you can confide
(13:50):
in on a hard day.
And what I tell people is on thehard day, the day where you're
just exhausted, where you feellike I don't want to talk to
anybody except look at themoments of where you go, in
those moments I don't have ahard day at work.
I don't want to talk to anybodyexcept this one friend.
What is it about that friendthat makes you feel safe, seen,
(14:14):
heard?
That's what you should belooking for in the community, as
opposed to volume.
We are now like a likes followsmentality of I need 500 likes
and 1000 followers or whateverit is for you to feel seen and
validated, but that one personwho sees you on a bad day.
(14:34):
They are going to validate you,they're going to help you
through something, and sofinding the component that's in
there is that's more qualitythan the 500 lakes.
That's just quantity.
That's that's.
There's no depth to that.
Daniela (14:48):
But then everybody knows that, however, people are
not doing it.
So how do you do that?
How do you create yourcommunity of people, of kind
people that you relate?
Natasha Sattler (14:58):
to you.
I think it's the feeling we'reonline all of the time, and if
you talk to somebody online whogives you that feeling inside,
where you're like, oh, I feelsafe with this person, explore
that.
Don't, don't write that off.
There's the opposite of that,too.
If you're having a conversationor you're scrolling and even
scrolling and not interactingwith anybody, and you start to
(15:19):
feel bad about yourself, thenthat's not serving you.
That's not your community.
The algorithm is going to showyou things that you have spent a
lot of time on.
But if you've spent a lot oftime watching negative stories
or watching like true crimedramas or something, and you
leave it feeling icky orexhausted or like there's
something wrong with the world,that's just as telling as having
(15:44):
a great conversation withsomebody.
The community that you arebuilding now is what you are
going to.
It's what's going to defineyour mental health right.
So the community it's got to be, the feeling it's got to be
what is is keeping you safeinside.
What is?
I can't explain it in a word,because everybody knows that
(16:09):
feeling where you have aconversation with somebody and
it feels like you've known themfor a lifetime.
I think that's where thecommunity comes in but we get so
stuck in.
I want to chase this thing thateverybody else is chasing.
I want the validation and Iwant to be very clear that
validation and community aredifferent.
Validation isn't reallysomething anybody else can do
(16:31):
for you.
It's got to be something thatyou do for yourself.
Nobody else is going to tellyou what's right or wrong for
you.
They're just going to saywhat's right or wrong for them.
I think the community aspectit's getting redefined often,
but it's a feeling, it's not anumbers, it's not something you
can see, and that's the wayforward.
Great.
Daniela (16:50):
Going back to your book .
So you said you had anxiety andyou were doing the pandemic
nothing to do and you decidedokay, I'm going to write this
book.
So how was that process?
Natasha Sattler (17:01):
Scary, really scary, because, again, I didn't
really intend to.
So I just wrote everything intoa Google document and, as it
formed itself, I just keptwriting like, oh you know, I
want to write this.
I thought maybe it would be ablog for a second.
But then it goes back to you goon the internet and there's too
much information, there's toomany answers.
(17:21):
So I was like, okay, I don'tthink it should be on the
internet, so I wanted it all inone spot where, if somebody just
needs an answer, they can pullit off a shelf, they can go to
one resource.
So I wrote it, I edited it, Iedited it again, I went through,
I wrote it all in six weeks andthen I spent about six or seven
months editing it and refiningit, which still is a very fast
(17:43):
timeline, because I'm actuallyin the process of writing my
second book now, which has takentwo years, and I think it's
just.
It's not something that anybodyprepares you for the refining
of your own thoughts, becausemost people have a thought, they
move on, they never think aboutit again or maybe they come
back to it later.
But the refining of your ownthoughts gives you such a deep
(18:07):
introspection to yourself that Iwas not ready for, and it was
really really scary.
Daniela (18:14):
Who was supporting you, what the community you had
during those times?
Natasha Sattler (18:18):
My parents were fantastic.
But the more people that I toldabout the book what it was so
helpful because there were daysI wanted to give up and be like
you know what.
Never mind, that was an idea.
I'm not going to publish it butthe more I told people about
the book, the more people askedabout it and they would say
when's it coming out, what'shappening with it?
Or there was accountabilitythere.
But also, seeing theirexcitement for it, their desire
(18:41):
to read it, it reinforced theidea that this is something
that's needed in the world, andespecially for younger
generations, where there hasn'tbeen one answer towards
something or things are changingso rapidly that just a little
bit of guidance has beennecessary.
It feels like Like there therewas a space for this book, there
(19:05):
was a need for it, and thatneed is what drove me forward.
Daniela (19:08):
And how was the anxiety ?
How do you manage that?
Natasha Sattler (19:12):
Oh, I have a lot of techniques that I use to
manage anxiety, but the writingwas so helpful.
I think writing is my mainoutlet for anxiety because I'm
one of those people that, like,has one thought and then it
sticks in their head and wakesthem up at two o'clock in the
morning and rolls around for awhile and getting it out,
putting it on paper, giving lifeto the words, takes it out of
(19:33):
the loop.
That gets stuck in my head.
So it was actually reallyhelpful.
Daniela (19:37):
Oh, wow.
Yes, that's super interesting.
I'm glad you said that.
So six weeks and then sevenmonths to edit it polish it.
Did you ever thought, okay,this is ready, or you always had
doubts, like I don't know, itcould be better?
Natasha Sattler (19:49):
The book's been out for two years, I still
don't think it's ready.
I still am like, I still amlike I love the idea of having a
manual, like a life manual.
But I think life and societychanges so often that it's
impossible, because we'rechanging.
(20:11):
And I say that because, like,even as I read the book now, I'm
like, oh wow, I'm reading itthrough totally different
lengths, and I think that's kindof the beauty of the book,
especially, like I was talkingrecently about the relationship
chapter.
You could read that wholechapter single and read it one
way.
Then you read it from onerelationship.
You read it in an entirelydifferent way.
(20:31):
You read it going through abreakup.
It's entirely different.
You read it from anotherrelationship, with a different
person.
It's different Every time youpick it up.
It's you're at a differentpoint in your life, coming at it
through different circumstances.
So when you're rereading it,you're reading it like it's
fresh and new, and I thinkthat's what's great about it is,
life is never the same.
Every single moment isredefining it for you, and so
(20:54):
it's just, it's a tool.
It's not a manual.
It can't be, because lifechanges so frequently.
It's just a guide, it's just avery gentle little guide.
Daniela (21:02):
It sounds like a very versatile book.
Natasha Sattler (21:06):
It is.
It is because I don't tellanybody that there's a right or
wrong way to do something,because I don't think there is
there's.
Sometimes we need a little help, we need a little nudge, and
that's all it's meant to be.
Daniela (21:16):
But do you feel like maybe in the 10 years from now
and another generation is, thebook needs to get a new addition
because the generation will dothings differently?
Natasha Sattler (21:27):
I do, yeah, and I think the reason that the
book exists is because thegeneration above mine did things
differently, and I wrote it forthe generation of mine and
below, like Gen Z andMillennials, because we're doing
things a little bit differently.
And then, yes, of course, thekids coming up now are gonna do
things wildly differently and Ithink that's supposed to happen.
(21:48):
You're supposed to redefine it.
I'm excited for that, but, yeah, it's gonna need some updating
and, especially as things keepevolving, like you said,
community, the word, thedefinition of community is
evolving.
Because of that, we're gonnakeep needing new additions of
this.
Daniela (22:04):
Going back to the community, the thing is that we
do need that connection.
We still don't make an effortto get it, because I think
that's key, Like once you haveit, you know like wow, I feel
really connected, I feel like Ibelong.
However, people don't tend todo that because they get busy
with the day-to-day, that theybelieve that it's more important
.
Natasha Sattler (22:24):
Yeah, and we're getting more isolated
because answers aren't comingfrom each other.
I think the fastest way tocommunity is conversation and
asking questions, finding theanswers to life outside of A
your own head, because we getstuck in these loops.
But also we now have chat GPTwhich, I keep joking, is just,
(22:46):
you know, a more advanced AskJeeves.
You ask a question and all of asudden you get one answer and
it's in depth and it's holisticand you go cool, I know
everything there is to knowabout that.
I can move on.
Ai is isolating us, google isisolating us, facebook and
Instagram and Twitter we feellike we're getting all of the
(23:07):
information, but reallyinformation is just coming at us
with very little in return,where conversation is a give and
take, and that builds community, that builds a relationship and
that's, like you said, soimportant.
Daniela (23:20):
Yes, you said yes, your friend.
That makes you feel that way,but I know the fact that when
you go to some cities more thanothers, you go to the butcher
thing and they know you and theysay hello and good to see you,
and you go and have a coffee andthey recognize you, they
actually know who you are.
If you go to the gym and thensomebody who always goes there
says hello to you don't knowthat kind of thing, that oh,
(23:42):
that person knows that youbelong, that you're here.
Natasha Sattler (23:46):
Yeah, if we're finding ourselves isolated and
sort of stuck in that I don'thave a community aspect, I
encourage people to do exactlythat To take a class.
Like there's so many resourcesto go and just you can take a
cooking class, you can go dopottery, you can go anywhere,
literally do a class with people.
(24:06):
Do a walking tour in your owncity or go an hour outside, go
to a bar, talk to the peoplenext to you.
Go to a coffee shop, talk topeople.
Even talking to somebody inline.
Having a five minuteconversation with somebody will
reignite something in you.
It reminds you why that'simportant, especially if you
haven't talked to somebody newin a long time.
(24:29):
Relationships can get stale andthere can be something that
infuses in you.
If you go and talk to a brandnew person and just have this
very brief spark, that's all ittakes sometimes.
Daniela (24:43):
Also, I think it's a personality thing.
The people that are introverts,that they don't really like to
talk to somebody.
That's the problem too.
I think it's also personality.
So if you're introvert and youreally don't feel comfortable,
then maybe you never do that andso you don't have those
opportunities.
Natasha Sattler (25:01):
Yeah, and I'm outgoing as well, so I
understand that for some peopleit's definitely easier than
others.
There are things that people doin their daily life, like how
many times do people go to thebank, go to the grocery store,
go to wherever you go to pick upfood and you leave, you get in
your car and you cannot tell mewhat the person you just talked
(25:21):
to looks like.
So sometimes it's not sayinganything.
It's when you're going aboutyour daily life.
Just look up, just look at theperson.
You might be going through thebank and you say I need to take
out this much cash here's thecheck, here's this and you're
looking down the whole time.
Just look up, if you are inline at the grocery store saying
, saying hi, how are you?
(25:43):
And actually listening to whatthey say, even if they just say
good, how are you Like, listento the words and look at them?
That's such a small littleTweak that can be made and
you're not doing anythingdifferent than you normally
would do.
You're not going out to a newhobby.
Sometimes being in a movietheater, I think, is really
(26:04):
interesting because it's darkand so You're surrounded by
people, but it can feel Likeyou're alone.
Because it's dark, you don'thave to talk to anybody, but
you're all sharing an experiencethat can feel uniting in a way
where you're not at homewatching it on your couch.
That can happen in live theater.
It can happen with so manydifferent things and sometimes
(26:26):
on your way out you can findanother solo person, just walk
near them and be like man.
It's so good and maybe you'restarting a conversation with
them.
There are subtle things you cando, tiny tweaks that may not
feel so scary.
Daniela (26:39):
Yeah, it seems like we could start a movement about
just say hi.
Natasha Sattler (26:45):
Yeah, just say hi.
Daniela (26:46):
Yes, just say hello.
It's a smile, that's.
That is such an incrediblething.
I remember that I was in thesupermarket and this woman
Smiled at me and I was like, wow.
So I think that's that's theanother thing that we could do,
like look at people and smile.
Natasha Sattler (27:02):
I also think you're talking about, like
parents and kids earlier, Ithink, parents Doing that models
for their children.
There is an organization calledSandy Hook Promise.
That is in the US and they areleading through.
They're trying to prevent gunviolence, but one of their
campaigns it starts with helloand the idea is that kids in
(27:23):
school Don't talk to everybody.
There's always a couple kidsthat are isolated and the kids
that sort of seem outsiders orwhatever.
They are the kids more likelyto turn to violence or to to
have mental health problems, andit starts with hello.
Passing somebody in a hallwayand just saying hello.
You do not need to stop andtalk to anybody, just look them
(27:45):
in the eyes, say hello, keepwalking.
It is one second of your dayand One of the things that they
say is if they see their parentsdo this in life you pass
somebody in a grocery store, youmake eye contact and you say
hello, they're more likely to doit.
So it's making tiny changes.
We're not asking you to have awhole conversation.
We're not asking you to sayanything you wouldn't otherwise
(28:07):
say.
Just walking past somebody andsaying hello could change their
day In a way you don't even knowanother example is homeless
people.
Daniela (28:16):
When they are Money, instead of looking away because
you don't want to give the money, I always look and say hello.
I don't give the money, but Ialways say hello because it's
part, they're part of thecommunity and you're
acknowledging that they're there.
I see you, I hear you, you knowthat kind of thing.
I think it's missing at times.
Natasha Sattler (28:35):
Yeah, that people exist.
It can be really hard, whenwe're in an isolated world and
Everything's behind a screen, tosay these are real people.
These people exist, especiallyin LA.
Like I live in LA.
Nobody walks really here, we'reall in our cars and so if
everybody is just behind a car,behind a screen, behind a desk,
it's distance is disconnecting.
(28:56):
I want people to do onesentence, one word Hello or have
a great day.
Yes, something that simple.
Like I do the same.
When I pass a homeless personand they say, hey, ma'am, do you
have a moment or can you sparesome change?
I just go, not today, but havea great day, that's a good one.
It's very simple and if youhave it rehearsed it's not so
(29:18):
scary.
But if you're an introvert andyou go, okay.
If I see a homeless personoutside of the convenience store
today and they ask me for money, I'll just say not today, have
a great day, like it's rehearsed, you know if you know what?
Daniela (29:29):
it's gonna be great easier, and Natasha.
So what happened after the bookwas published?
Do you publish it yourself oryou had to find a publishing?
What was the process?
Natasha Sattler (29:39):
Yeah, so I went through the process of
agents and publishers and nobodyquite resonated with the book
the way I did.
They wanted things changed orit was, you know, the the
language maybe isn't quite whatthey were looking for, and so I
Went through Amazon and Barnesand Noble, so it's available
both on Amazon and Barnes andNoble.
(30:01):
And then it has evolved sincethen and it has a podcast now
and it's taken sort of a life ofits own and people are having
conversations, there's acommunity around it as well and
and that's become really special, so there's a podcast as well.
Daniela (30:16):
There is.
Yeah, tell me about that.
Is it yours or somebody else?
No, so it's mine.
Natasha Sattler (30:21):
With the book.
It's 98 chapters that were whatI deemed the most important at
the time, and then when the bookgot published, I realized,
through having conversationslike this and promoting it oh
wait, that was a chapter Iwanted to include or, oh, I wish
I could have talked about this.
And so the podcast isAdditional topics, like as they
(30:42):
come up in real time, like youwere talking about.
Like a second edition hastopics change or come up in real
time, or something has happenedin the world that feels like it
needs discussing.
One recently was like housingthe.
The market for housing haschanged drastically, and so the
topics that are more relevant,that maybe weren't necessarily
(31:04):
Classics they didn't have thelongevity that was necessary in
the book, but I still want totalk about them found their way
to a podcast episode.
Daniela (31:11):
That's great.
Great, it's how many episodesyou have already.
Natasha Sattler (31:15):
I'm in season three.
Season one and two have tenepisodes each and then so far
season three, I believe, haseight.
It's quick, like 30 35ishminute episodes of just one more
topic, like one quick topicthat wasn't discussed.
Daniela (31:29):
Also, but you do it yourself or you do, you have
guests.
Natasha Sattler (31:33):
I have guests, yeah, so each talk, each
episode is with a guest and wediscuss one topic that they are
an expert in.
Daniela (31:39):
Yes, and so that that's perfect that you're doing that,
because then you will alwayshave to book a life.
That is the best way of havingit.
You don't need a second editionor anything like that.
Natasha Sattler (31:49):
Yeah, I mean, eventually I think it will
probably need a second edition,just as the world changes.
But I think the way that thepodcast is structured is because
I'm having more in-depthconversations.
It gets deeper into certaintopics that are more relevant in
today society, but also itupdates itself and not everybody
(32:10):
likes to read.
People are more audio based orthey need something on the way
to work.
Daniela (32:14):
That's been really special too, but you also have
the book, the audiobook, or not?
Natasha Sattler (32:21):
No, I haven't done the audiobook for it yet.
It's on my list one day.
Daniela (32:26):
Yeah, and I, and I think it's very important that
you do it with your own voice,because I think that makes a
huge difference.
Natasha Sattler (32:30):
Thank you.
Yeah, I agree, especiallybecause there's some witty
sarcastic tones in there that Ithink have to come across.
Daniela (32:40):
Great.
So podcast commercial producer,you are an author, what else do
you do?
Natasha Sattler (32:46):
I travel a lot , I love to travel.
That's just a passion of mine.
And then over the past yearI've bought and renovated a
house which has unintentionallybecome a large part of my
personality.
I think just havingconversations with the people is
what, like, really makes mehappy, and so I do a lot of
these podcasts, and it makesjust brings joy into my life.
Daniela (33:07):
The outgoing on us is just like we need to talk to
different people.
So what about the travel?
What would you do?
You'd go?
You're a travel, do you havetwo weeks off or you just take
more time?
Tell me more about that,because I love traveling.
Natasha Sattler (33:23):
I love traveling.
It's something that I startedmaybe five or six years ago,
traveling alone, but I've alwaysenjoyed traveling with friends,
family, significant others,whatever it may be.
But a few years ago I startedtraveling alone and now it's
something I try to do for a weekor two every year.
I went to Portugal last year, Iwent to Italy the year before
and Spain I went to Barcelona.
(33:45):
I've been all over SoutheastAsia.
One time I went to Vancouverfor a weekend.
So I find that I discover a lotabout myself through travel.
That's my next book is actuallywhat I've discovered and
learned about myself through theplaces I've been.
To travel alone or to travel ingeneral, to travel in general
(34:07):
primarily, but, yeah, a coupleof the chapters about traveling
alone.
I think it's so important.
Daniela (34:13):
Yes, it is.
I am itchy if I don't gosomewhere.
Yeah, you only take two weeksholidays or you go for a longer
time.
Natasha Sattler (34:21):
I have a longer amount of vacation
allotment, but also becausetravel is such a priority in my
life, I just make the time forit.
I find holidays like 4th ofJuly or Memorial Day or any of
the the breaks that I get, and Itake advantage of those.
I couple them with vacations.
I utilize my vacation days.
(34:43):
I tweak things as needed, likemaybe I travel at midnight, or
you know.
Daniela (34:50):
I make it work.
You're a young woman who knowsa lot about her values.
Natasha Sattler (34:54):
Yeah, I took a while to get here, though, and
I don't discourage anybody fromexploring what they need to
explore.
I don't think that there's atimetable on when you get to
know yourself.
For me, it really didn't happenuntil my late 20s, early 30s.
I think there's this pressurefor people to like know who you
are 18, 20, 25 and I say ittakes people, however long it
(35:19):
takes them.
Daniela (35:19):
Yeah, some people die without knowing exactly what
they want or what they wish, andI think that's the goal To me.
I figured out and not as young,at the same age as you, a
little later that we are here tothis world just to know who we
are and that's all we have to do.
Forget about judging otherpeople or trying to do a career.
(35:39):
It's just like what is it?
Who are you, what are you herefor?
And that's when you figure thatout.
You will be very content inlife.
Natasha Sattler (35:47):
I think that's the biggest thing that we can
leave behind is just the legacyof ourselves.
If you are just completely youand you go through life knowing
who you are, leading with thosevalues, other people will take
that lesson, learn more aboutthemselves, and it will carry
through.
That's, I agree.
That's all we're here to do.
(36:08):
We're here to teach each otherwho we are.
Daniela (36:10):
Yes, exactly to teach who we are, not to teach others
what we know.
Natasha Sattler (36:16):
Yeah right, yeah, no.
I would never say you are thisway.
I just know who I am.
Daniela (36:21):
Yes, exactly, people tend to do that when you're
driving, getting upset withpeople because they don't drive
the way it should be, or littlethings like that.
Right, and?
And the truth is, everybody hastheir journey also to learn
different things in their way,so that's great.
So what is next?
So you are have the podcast,you are working on the second
book, you're traveling to Madrid.
Anything else that you're doingthat you want to share?
Natasha Sattler (36:44):
No, I think for now just exploring.
I continue to learn more aboutmyself.
I do anything that can keep meon that path.
I mean, work keeps me very busy.
Daniela (36:54):
Yes, I was gonna ask how do you manage to work and
write a book and travel and Imean because your work is
demanding.
Natasha Sattler (37:01):
I'm sure it is an extreme lack of sleep and I
just there's the saying of likeif you want to, you will.
I find the way.
There's always time.
People always say there's neverenough time, but there is,
there's enough time.
If you want it, you'll maketime, and so all of the things
in my life that I do areimportant to me, so I just find
(37:23):
a way to make it all workWonderful, so wonderful and so
well then.
Daniela (37:26):
thank you so much for finding the time to be in my
podcast.
Natasha Sattler (37:30):
Thank you for having me.
I will say if anybody wants tofollow my travels, it's Natsat
travels on Instagram, and if youwant to find the book, it's on
Amazon or Barnes.
Noble shit adults never taughtus.
And then there's also thepodcast shit adults never taught
us.
The Instagram links to both ofthose.
Daniela (37:49):
Wonderful.
Thank you so much, natasha, foryour time.
Thank you, this has beenwonderful.
Yes, it has been.
Thanks, I hope you enjoyed it.
Today's episode I am Danielaand you were listening to,
because everyone has a story.
Please take five seconds rightnow and think of somebody in
your life that may enjoy whatyou just heard, or someone that
(38:10):
has a story to be shared andpreserved.
When you think of that person,shoot them a text with the link
of this podcast.
This would allow the ordinarymagic to go further.
Join me next time for anotherstory conversation.
Thank you for listening.
Hasta pronto.
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