Join Keri-Anne Livingstone’s next Tap Into Trust Yourself group on Sunday, May 25.
Also craving a plot-twist in your life?
In this episode, I’m joined by Keri-Anne, a somatic clarity coach and the brilliant mind behind the Daring to Suck Framework. We dive deep into what it means to connect with your intuition, and find radical acceptance in your most inconvenient feelings.
We talk about why so many of us high-achievers struggle to make bold changes until we’re pushed off the cliff—and how to instead build trust with yourself, so you can make your own leap. Keri-Anne shares her own story of loss, rage, and healing (yes, there’s a rage story involving thrifted figurines and a flamethrower metaphor), and what it really looks like to “facilitate your own plot twist.”
If you’ve ever felt like something in your life needs to change but you can’t quite name what—or if you’re simply tired of intellectualizing your feelings—this one’s for you.
Connect with Keri-Ann
Connect with Teresa
@teresaajean | @becomingobsessedpod
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Lately I have been obsessed withbut very intentional about the
rooms that I want to be in and honestly extremely lucky.
I've gotten to be in some incredible rooms lately.
One of those was at Megan Hales Dream Bigger Summit and very
specifically her VIP brunch the next day.
(00:20):
This room was jam packed with the 2025 women who are doing big
things, dreaming huge, but also bringing other women up with
them. And one of those women that I'm
especially grateful to have got to meet and chat to is joining
us today. Carrie Anne Livingstone is a
(00:41):
somatic clarity coach who is helping visionary, heart driven
women create, and I love this phrasing create the plot twist
that they have been craving in their life and their business.
Carrie Anne has created her tap into trust yourself journey and
daring to suck framework. I love that name where she
(01:01):
guides deep feelers to reconnectwith their inner guidance, tap
into their intuitive intelligence, and really embody
their truth. Her work blends somatic healing,
spiritual insight, and unapologetic authenticity to
help them and build that self radical trust that I think a lot
of us are craving and don't. We were never taught to tap into
(01:23):
or to listen to, to help them navigate uncertainty and lead
lives and businesses that feel as fulfilling as they are
impactful. Carrie Anne, thank you so much
for coming on the Becoming Obsessed podcast.
I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me new
friend. Yes, and as we before we hit
record, we were chatting and I was like OK, I'll go through
your bio and you were like you know I have something happening
(01:47):
that I haven't added in yet. Tell me more about this.
Well, it's. Funny because the tap into trust
yourself journey came to me while I was driving one day.
Actually something had me ask how I how I coach people, right?
Somatic coach, what is that? You know what I mean?
Like, yes, it's going in throughfeelings, it's getting out of
the head, it's getting more intothe body.
Sure, sure, sure. And I've done 2 rounds of this
(02:09):
journey, which essentially is I just get very excited showing
people their own intuitive intelligence and how I do that.
And like what happens as a result of them realizing that
they've got intuition. Because a lot of us sort of
allocate that to dead, you know,talking to dead people and
seeing visions and things like that, which we can talk more
about. But I really want people to know
(02:30):
like what it actually is and howit works with us and how
everybody has it and to like demystify it a lot.
And through intuitive exploration, we integrate pieces
and parts of ourselves and feelings.
And that integration results in a level of like what I would
call radical acceptance and healing on like the deepest
level. Like it's, it's not here to mess
around. So I call that intuitive
(02:51):
integration. That, to me, totally embodies
what this process is, because it's an intuitive process, but
we're integrating pieces and parts back into a sense of
wholeness and harmony, and that's what I'm obsessed with.
I love it. I love it well, and it is this
almost forgotten piece of our lives, and I don't think that's
(03:12):
by accident that women are not in touch with their intuition
that maybe we can save for another day.
But the best way that I kind of understood this in the last six
months, I was in a conversation where people were talking about
AI and the Internet and how so much knowledge isn't on the
Internet because you can't necessarily vocalize it or
(03:35):
publish it or the people that hold that wisdom haven't
articulated it to put it online.And it made me have this moment
where I'm like, why? When we need to know something,
is our first thought to Google it or to ask ChatGPT instead of
going internal to the source of what's going to work for us.
Yeah. Well, and I mean that's a big,
(03:55):
big question, which is like why do we do that?
Well, conditioning. Yeah, like, yeah, unlike.
Trauma intentionalists worth their weight and sell if you
like conditioning and trauma. One of the first steps like if
we're not really using our intuition and and to me.
OK, so I'm going to talk about how I see intuition that I used
to think that it was like intuition was for people that
(04:16):
were struck by lightning or had a gift and they were very elite
group or like specific group, maybe not elite because we had
all these like Madam Coco or whatever with the scarf and.
The like super woo woo and. And that could never be me.
So I am not that. And that is intuition and and
what I've learned through my ownexploration, whether I was
(04:38):
invited or it was forced upon methat you can get into that.
Also about my origin story, if you will.
But like what it is like what weare and that we are this, I call
it like this superhighway. We're almost like if you imagine
the spokes of a wheel, right? And if we're the center cog of
that wheel, we are this invitation and this vessel for
all of these different aspects of intuition to work with us and
(05:01):
walk with us. And that could be our ideas.
That could be creativity, that could be physical sensation,
could be literally hearing things.
It could be seeing visions. Like you can see all these
different facets. But it can also, this is where
it gets very synchronistic. Is that the more I've maybe, I
don't know if I cleaned the spokes in my wheels, but like,
it's like cleaning out your hallways, like from cleaning,
(05:23):
clearing out trauma, things likethis on a somatic level, you can
see how it all kind of comes together that my intuition has
just gotten stronger. And I think that anyone on a
healing journey is like absolutely.
Like as soon as we start processing our emotions,
clearing the, you know, Lego that we're constantly stepping
on in our proverbial hallways, that we start clearing that out.
It's like we can move more freely and we get better
information too, right? So that information doesn't just
(05:46):
come from within us. The idea is like, where do they
come from? It?
It's a good question to wonder, right?
Like this is our connection to the divine, to nature, Like
nature has a connection, an intuitive connection to us
animals, metaphor, you know, like how our creativity uses
metaphor, Like look at how look at all of the ways intuition
tries to work with us. And so once you start opening up
(06:08):
to that idea, it becomes this really multifaceted kind of
fascinating, like, huh, well, I wonder how mine works, right?
And I'm like, get on in here then like get on in here.
I want to show you, I don't knowhow yours works.
I can't wait to find out how yours works through you.
I'm here to facilitate. Yeah, the the retake your
journey. I got all the right questions
(06:29):
because I've, you know, I've learned it on, on my own in a
lot of ways and through the facilitation of others to be
like, oh man, like I didn't knowthat was intuition, but that
absolutely is. And then that's where
synchronicity comes into play. The more we start clearing
things out and things start flowing again.
You know, you think of like a pipeline and all this sort of
crud like muddy water. You start clearing that muddy
(06:50):
water and just, I want to say weird shit starts happening, but
it's not weird. We just run that muddy water
clear and then things get magical.
And that's where it seems like abit trite, like, oh, right.
But I'm, I'm telling you, I'm sitting in a ridiculously large
and audacious house in the countryside in Ireland.
It makes no sense to me. Two years ago, like I never
(07:11):
would have imagined this would happen.
And it all happened very synchronistically through
following my intuitive nudges, my ideas, synchronistic things
outside of me and following those bread crumbs as as so many
things are possible. There's just an invitation here
to play with possibility. So I guess I use that super
highway as a way to help heal people, to help people heal
(07:31):
themselves. And that's where it's very
deeply personal and even better than say, going to a coach and
and doing what they say and having a breakthrough.
That's great. But the breakthroughs that
happen in here that you instigate like that you like,
there's just, it's just another level of, well, integration.
(07:52):
Yeah. Fortifying who and what you are
in the. World and I love the way yeah
no, I love the way that you're framing all of this because it
makes me think of how one piece can be such can make such a
difference. And really what I'm seeing is in
the world so many people don't trust themselves necessarily.
(08:15):
They lack that self-confidence. They want to make a change.
They want something different inlife.
We hear so many people be like, oh, I'm not creative, I'm not a
creative. Or even when you are, it's
always for this external value validation of like, do people
like my work instead of for the sake of creation.
And as you were speaking, I can see in my own life and in other
(08:36):
people's lives how once you start to tap into that intuition
and like you were saying, that radical self acceptance and that
trust of yourself, it unlocks these pieces of, OK, yeah, I am
creative and this might not makeany sense on paper, but it makes
sense inside. And I don't know why yet, but I
(08:58):
trust myself to make this jump, like potentially moving to
Ireland to go live in the countryside and it.
Wasn't just my decision, it was me dancing with the pieces and
parts of my unique life and how I'm relating to it and how I'm
interpreting it and wondering like, how do I feel about that?
And it will bring up crap, it'llbring up trauma, it'll bring up
(09:21):
feelings. And so then my job becomes
acknowledging what arises and navigating that in the best way
and trying to sort of run that muddy water clear and then see
where I end up then. And then there's a new vantage
point and another one. And I'm not trying to make
people's head spin, but that's what it looks like.
And it is this unique dance for each one of us and the
(09:44):
relationships we have where we are in the world.
How are, you know, all the things that make us us and that
nothing's out of place? I think that's the other piece
that, and once you realize, wow,like you become more fascinating
to yourself. We're invited to do the thing
that I think we hear a lot of spiritual people talk about,
which is to go inward to sort out the world's problems, right?
(10:06):
That we start where we have the greatest and biggest impact and
then we work from the inside outbecause only our relationships
and our businesses, all of our decisions will benefit from that
exploration. And I would boil it down to
three things, which is it's likeyou explore some stuff, express
what you find. That can be through talking, it
can be through writing, it be through poetry.
(10:27):
It could be through creativity, like painting, it could be
through crying, right, expressing feelings.
And as a result of those two, you're expanding.
Something's expanded, something's changed and
something's shifted. And that's the game that to me,
that's, that's the three things that we're doing here
constantly. I'm curious in your bio and in
your work, you help women find the plot twist that they're
(10:50):
craving. I love that phrasing, but I'm
really curious your thoughts on why so many of us are craving a
plot twist in the first place. There's two things that I want
to say about that because it's like finding your plot twist,
but also I deal with two people.People are like something wants
to change, right? Something and they can feel it.
It's like, it's like right here and they they come to me because
(11:14):
they're like, I've tried this, I've tried talk therapy, I've
tried this, I've tried all thesethings and I can't move.
I don't know what this is. And so I just happened to know
how to go in and have a very weird conversation with whatever
this thing is. This, this big ball of some
people would describe like a bigair ball, like stuck in my heart
or my chest or this heavy anvil that somebody chose.
(11:35):
It's like something wants me to,you know, bust through it like
the kool-aid man. And I'm like, OK, well, let's go
explore and see what that is andwe'll find out and to trust
again what they get and follow that and prioritize that.
And then they realize, Oh my God, like I'm amazing.
You know, like I figured this and they figure it out And I
just love, this is my favorite thing to have a front row seat.
(11:56):
But I'm like, it's fascinating. So there's that.
There's like something sense, something wants to change.
And I know it's, it's a plot twist.
Like I'm like, oh, here we go. And then some people are like,
no, I really, I know what I needto change.
Either need to leave a relationship.
It's usually a big thing. I need to change careers, I need
to leave the job I'm at. I need to like, I need to make
(12:17):
some drastic changes. I need to move countries.
So many people are wanting to dothat right now.
And I've done it 3 * 3 or 4 Times Now, I guess.
And I'm 50 now. So it's like I've done a few
iterations at very different ages and like what that means,
you know, when you redesign yourlife.
So to me, the most important thing is understanding why
what's happening, for this to bearising and to understand it.
(12:40):
And I think that a lot comes through the understanding of the
why, like this is happening because I'm feeling this.
I'm noticing that I've outgrown this and like, who am I now?
There's that whole thing too. I mean, life is wild.
So we don't always know. We don't always know what's
coming down the pipeline. And my origin story was more
(13:03):
about me being pushed off the Cliff that I was unwilling to
jump off of. Like I knew it was there.
I, I knew I wasn't in the right job.
I knew I wasn't like living the life I was meant to live, but I
was so scared. I had no idea how right, like
how many people are like it's the how.
If I only knew how, then I would.
And so, because I was so apprehensive, I understand now
(13:26):
that life sometimes pushes us like you're not, you don't.
Choose it, it'll be chosen for you.
You know, and then and I proverbially hit every branch on
the way down and it was rough. Like it was rough.
I, I wouldn't put that on anybody.
I, I wouldn't want anybody to gothrough the loss.
(13:47):
I lost jobs, I lost my career. I lost over six figures in a
market meltdown in 2008, then again in 2011.
So like there was this sort of awashing machine, like just, you
know, and then you get spat out and then you're like, I lost a
pregnancy. It was like inside out loss.
It was. And you know, it was a lot.
(14:11):
And sometimes, sometimes we justneed to almost lose everything
that we thought made us important or whole or good or
safe to realize that at the end,at the bottom of that valley,
you know, when I say every branch down, empty pockets, not
(14:32):
quite sure who I was anymore. Identity shredded.
I was still there. I was still there, but who was
I? And like that was the beginning
of the the next of the journey that got me here and put
everything back in better order.So sometimes the universe will
pick us up, shake us out and have everything, all the things
(14:54):
out of our pockets. Sorry, by the way, I love
metaphor and I'm addicted to it.And then we're like, OK, well,
who am I now? And it's a very cool question to
wonder about and to to realize that you kind of get to choose,
but based on how you feel. And that's a whole other thing
because how cool are you with your emotions?
Do you feel them? How muddy is the water anyway?
But like, yeah, so that I don't know if that answered your
(15:16):
question, but I said some stuff in there.
How? You know, I, I just thank you so
much for sharing all of that because I know that that all of
that loss isn't easy. And I think people listening who
hear that, like somebody might be in that space and really be
able to say, like, OK, I still am here.
(15:38):
And this isn't the end of the journey or the story or my
identity. It's almost a new beginning.
You know what happens? What I and I fell victim to it.
I don't know if that's the rightwords, but I, I fell into that a
few times was not understanding that my emotions, the way I felt
because we can get mired and stuck.
(15:58):
We can get stuck. It's almost like we're not fully
fully, we're not fully feeling anything out.
We don't even know what that feels like.
We don't trust that. We don't trust that we'll be OK.
We don't trust we'll survive that.
We don't trust we'll be the same.
But here's the thing, we probably won't be the same.
But why would you want to stay the same when you feel like
that? You know what I mean?
I'm sort of whispering into anyone's ear that needs to hear
(16:20):
this because man, I wish I had somebody in certain moments to
just say like there is a how through this.
And I've always found that it's through emotional expression,
which means, you know, it's messy and it's confusing and
it's it's awful. Like, it's just going to be
(16:41):
real. Like, yeah, it still kills me.
But how I've been doing this for12 years, actually, probably 15
now. I'm like, how old's my oldest?
He's 15. And there are moments like, I
lost a friend a couple years ago.
And there is still a part of me that thinks, oh I should, I
should be cool with this now. Like I should be.
OK with this. This shouldn't affect me.
(17:02):
I, I should, you know, some people actually put that on me,
like you know how this goes. And I thought, no, that is not
how this goes. There are no free rides.
But what I do know, and I've recognized it many times, that
even in the thralls of grief andloss, and I don't think I'm
going to survive this feeling because it's so big that I can
(17:23):
now recognize that place in the process and be like, OK, we're
hitting the part. We're hitting that part where I
think these things. And I just think this is the
worst. And it's like, hang on.
And I just, you're like hang on to, to, to sort of let it go.
It's like letting the wave deliver me to shore and to trust
the expression, no matter how big or how messy or how scary,
(17:44):
and to grab on to the right people and say, listen, will you
ride this way with me? Because I am scared.
I don't know if he rides. And I love it because every the
shore arrives, the more you trust your body's ability, the
more you trust your emotional intelligence and your intuitive
intelligence to move it because that's what it wants to move.
Also, that intuitive intelligence was to move emotion
(18:07):
through us because emotions justwant to move emotions.
They don't want to stay, they never wanted to stay.
So it's sometimes a lot of this comes down to the relationship
we have with our feelings. And I'm here to help people be
in better relationship with their feelings, to understand
them. When you understand how feelings
work and you start moving through them, you start trusting
them, you start trusting yourself.
(18:28):
So it's all interconnected. Yeah, definitely coming off my
period this week and I've been working on balancing or like
figuring out my hormones a little bit better because a few
of these last periods have been where I'm like everything sucks,
the world is literally ending, Nothing has ever been good and I
(18:48):
just have to sit in it and be like and this will pass.
It has before it will again. Like I think our brains sometime
want to find the reason and intellectualize the feeling and
learning to just be like, OK, let me sit in it.
Let me like do these little things that maybe I can distract
(19:10):
myself or I can keep myself fromover thinking.
So I can get till tomorrow because tomorrow that's going to
be bright and shiny again and it'll feel fine.
And I think to your point, understanding more of OK, what
emotions are coming up because of the situations in my life?
What are emotions are coming up because of the hormones and the
(19:31):
chemicals and when one thing I learned about myself too a
handful of years ago is wheneverI have the best day of my life,
the next day really sucks and I'm like, I just depleted my
dopamine and serotonin, right? Like I'm not going to hold on to
these feelings and like you said, let them move through.
And it doesn't mean don't feel them or like be disconnected,
(19:54):
but how can we just kind of accept the that's how we feel
and not get stuck on? For me, it was always like the
why or I shouldn't feel this wayor there's no reason.
Yeah, great. No reason.
So let's just let it move through.
That's OK. There's so much in all you've
(20:14):
said. It's like which?
Which door do I want to open? And like over the head with what
I have to say, which is this is where it gets a little weird
because as you survive some of these tidal waves that you've
stopped out running and you're like, fine, let's go.
You know, I think that there's alot of mechanisms in the human
experience that invite emotions to move and hormones is is
(20:38):
definitely one of them. It is a ride that I mean, Jesus,
haven't we done enough? When do we catch a break a
little bit, you know, women likewhat more?
And then you know, and then hereI am.
Just the portal too. And I'm like, you know, I
already gave you this and this. Can I just so I'm in that the
paramount bus are just crazy is crazy like the rage that comes
(20:59):
too and whether it's physiological, biological,
spiritual, energetic, whatever these things that evoke the
emotions, there is something pretty amazing to me that we get
to, you know what I mean? Like what if I don't argue with
why it's here? So it's like forgiving the
judgments that we hold about thefeelings we have.
(21:19):
There's the first one. It's like to stop judging the
feelings we have and what if we allowed ourselves to feel them?
So I can hear people being like,well, what if I'm in the grocery
store? You know what I mean?
It's like, I get it. I have had big feelings and big
triggers because triggers are really just, it's like the
opening and it's, it's like, hey, there's an opening, we get
(21:39):
to leave now. And so like there's an
opportunity and, and emotions will basically rush the door to
get out and who am I to get in the way?
But at the same time, I've had to like, OK, I'm at the grocery
store. I feel you.
You're right here. You're not going anywhere.
Like, you can feel it right there.
Just like, please help us. And, you know, so I am.
It's like it hasn't always happened in the moment.
And that's fine. That's me responding, being
(22:01):
responsible, personally responsible for my feelings.
I mean, like, where and when canI do this?
And sometimes we're not graced with that level.
Like sometimes it hits and we'regone.
And you know we wet our pants. At Trader Joe's or me on a ski
mountain a few weeks ago, just like having a full blown like
how am I going to get down this mountain moment?
(22:22):
And what if it's perfect? Because like when you think
about what happened, like what if it was, there's something
holy about it? Because I think that's also the
the invitation and the opportunity.
Like what if I really needed to just let her go, like let her
RIP, not to see who I am in that.
So I facilitate women actually trying emotions on that they've
(22:43):
never let themselves feel. So at my radical acceptance
retreats, their favorite part isthe breaking ship or breaking
stuff part, right? Like where they get to break
stuff. So and it's just goofy.
Like I will go to a thrift storeand I'll just into it like what
here wants me to buy it because and it's crazy.
(23:03):
People are like, how did you know?
Like I had one of these when I was growing up and I, you know,
I hated it or it meant this to me.
And so next thing you know, she's writing all over it and
all the, all the labels and the,you know, the figurine and show
this good girl does next thing, you know, smack, you know, and
just the process of like what that, what that embodiment does
and to try it on to try on anger, to try on rage, to try on
(23:26):
even such some people. We won't even let ourselves feel
sad because it's sad because we're it's not.
That was me for years. Yes, every woman just went to
say to like. Well, especially the rage, I
think that it is so in our culture appropriate and OK for
men to feel rage and women aren't allowed that and that is
(23:50):
the like cultural side of yeah, be lady like what are you mad
about? Or if you are mad, you're a
BITCH again, opening those doorsof it's like you said, if, if
hormones are one of the kind of door openers and avenues and you
find yourself getting angry whenyou're like you're that's the
(24:11):
hormonal, you know, kind of reaction.
It's like, well, how much of that anger just has been needing
to get out? Because I will say, as women,
there is a lot that we have a right to be angry about.
Now here's where I, you said something that I wanted to talk
to talk about because what will happen?
This is, I talked about this in the during stock framework
(24:31):
because there's a whole emotionsmodule, which is like, it's,
it's so critical. We will, what I learned in my
own experience and my own journey and also the people that
I work with is that we'll almostbe like, well, what is the
feeling that I feel? I got to name it.
So there's a name it to claim it, right?
That was a really cool thing to say for a while.
Name it to claim it and, and feel it to heal it.
We all have a good little rhyme,me included.
(24:54):
And there's this attachment or this condition of like, I've got
to name it, make sure I get the name right, make sure I name it
right. And also, where does it come
from now? Now did it come from when I was
7 or 8? Which one?
But I have to get that right? Because if I don't get that
right, then I don't get to feel it out.
Like there's this really weird subconscious layer that I meet a
(25:14):
lot of times in my sessions where I'm like, all righty.
So this is where the somatics plays into it, which is like I
sort of equate it to do you havelike Bulk Barn, like bulk food
stores where there's like the bins of like peanuts and M and
Ms. and stuff. It's imagine your body having.
That's a moment where I want to be like, reminder everyone,
(25:35):
she's not in America. She's not in the US.
But in Canada, we have a place called Bulk Barn, and it's just
the rows and rows of like bulk food bins anyway.
So imagine like at that part of the grocery store, there are all
those like M and Ms. and you're pulling them down and you put
them in the back, right? That our emotions can sometimes
be like that. The shame has its own, you know,
shame, blame, fear, anger, rage,yada, yada, joy also, you know,
(26:01):
sadness, the whole gamut, right bliss, whatever.
And what can happen is as we have experiences, feelings that
we will that we mostly go, oh, Ican't feel that right now goes
in, goes in the bin, right. So now you've got this these
layered experiences that are stacking that silo of emotion.
So we wonder why when we are tired or we are cornered or we
(26:24):
are hormonal and the lid gets ripped off, it's like the bats
are flying out of The Cave and we feel completely out of
control. It's because there's been a
culmination of events that have happened where that emotion has
been stored. And so I'm always like, listen,
use the story. The thing that happened today at
(26:45):
the grocery store, That's fine. It probably isn't the whole
reason about why you feel the way you feel, right?
We can logically realize that. Use the story to open the lid
and then focus on the feeling. So that's the difference.
Because if you only focused on feeling the amount of emotion
that relates to the event, imagine you'd have to remember
(27:09):
every single thing to be able toclear that out and clear that
mud out. And so, so Maddox work helps you
go, well, how does my anger feel?
Anger, not the thing that happened, you know, does it feel
hot? Does it feel heavy?
Where do I feel in my body? Like that's where it gets a bit,
you know, not logical. Yeah, you can't always, you
know, intellectualize it perfectly.
(27:31):
Like primal, you know, and like if it made a noise, if it had
another name other than anger. Like, you know, like what?
And to give yourself to give ourselves permission to let it
be more instinctual and intuitive and creative.
And I get to name it, whatever the hell it like I've named
things like I feel bejiggity, you know, I feel shonky.
(27:54):
I feel and I know what it means.And that's all that matters.
That's all that I own. That is very different than
looking on a chart sometimes andbeing like, oh, what part of the
chart? This Is Us trying and I get it.
And they're very useful tools attimes.
And then we reach a point where we need something more.
And that's where that intuitive integration, that intuitive
(28:15):
exploration and that full permission opens up.
And then you are really, you're really in you, you're really
learning, you're, you're in yourown curriculum at that point.
And I think that's a very empowering place to be in a very
healing place to be. So it's like getting into the
emotion as opposed to the story.Otherwise you end up getting
dragged behind the cart for yourwhole life and instead of
(28:36):
actually leaning into the full emotion.
And I've experienced rage in times where my kids actually saw
it too. And they were like, wow, they
were like, I was looking after afriend that had Alzheimer's.
And this was actually the beginning of our travel journey
when I had the idea, intuition to sell all of our things and
(28:58):
travel the world with our kids. And the first stop was our
friend because she was losing memory and she wanted to see us
before she passed. And of course, we say yes,
right? Because she's like a mother to
us. And she was being really
mistreated by her partner. They're both long past now, a
few years anyway. And he was just lost and scared.
But he was being an ass. He was being a complete ass.
And as a woman caring for another woman in that state, I'm
(29:20):
sorry, but like there was no, there was like I blew fire all
over them. I just breathed fire all over
him and I raged. And what I learned while I was
yelling, he was big guy. He was a big guy and big kind of
scary guy too. And I did not care.
I was like, I was a flamethrowerof love.
(29:41):
And what I learned was that thatwas love, too.
That was weird because it lookedon the surface like rage.
Certainly sounded like it, too. But to know that love has many
facets. And on the other side of it, in
a calm moment, I was able to say, you know, that I was loving
you in that moment, too, right? And he said, yes, like he
understood it at the same time when, you know, when the dust,
(30:02):
when the charred bits of his clothing fell away.
But I didn't know that until I was in it.
And I was like, wow, that was different.
And my kids were like, they wereup against the wall, like they'd
never heard or see me like that.And later on, one of them said I
was kind of scary. And then he was like, but it was
(30:23):
so cool. And it's so cool for them to get
to witness the range of emotion and the range of love and how
things are not always so one andare never one-dimensional.
Yeah, when you were talking about naming your own emotions,
it really makes me think of how my partner and high we, we have
(30:46):
our own language, right? I think a lot of relationships
can relate to that. And I think about this often,
how it's really fun and it feelslike it strengthens our
relationship to not always have to perfectly articulate things.
We can just kind of like, we'll be like boop, bop, like we're
just booping and bopping. And it's like always this signal
that like, Teresa's in a good mood now.
Like whatever she was feeling, she's now feeling happy.
(31:09):
You fed her, you walked her, youwanted her.
We have done the things to make her feel better.
And not only does it help to strengthen a relationship with
somebody else when you kind of find that common ground, but
what you're saying where it strengthens your relationship
with yourself to be able to justsay, you know, I don't
necessarily have the English or French or whatever words to name
(31:29):
this, but I have my own word of like, this is named.
This is an OK thing. We're going to accept it.
We're going to process it. We're going to do whatever needs
to happen. But we're not going to judge it.
And we're not going to feel shame about it.
And that's just my little thing.Like that's just it's OK.
And I'm also here to say, and ifyou do feel the shame about it,
(31:49):
and if you do judge it, I love going into those corners and
people realizing that their judgment is only a veiled value.
It's only something that you obviously also care about that
lives under the same roof. And when you start untangling
things at that level, you start realizing that there's nothing
in you that's to be afraid of. There's nothing in you to fear.
(32:13):
There's nothing in you that is wrong.
There are no bad parts, as Richard Swartz says in his IFS
work, It's like there aren't. And that provides, I think, us
even more permission and freedomto be however we are in every
moment as we arise into every new minute that we're here.
Because I don't know what's going to happen the next minute.
A friggin asteroid could go across the sky.
(32:35):
And just like, we don't know what's going to happen.
And I don't know who I'll be next.
And I just think that's also what we're doing here.
And like, let's not kid ourselves or each other like
that. None of us right have our
proverbials together, so yeah. Yeah, when So I, I, I'm going to
take us not even in a different direction, but maybe a little
(32:57):
deeper on this because I always ask guests when you're doing
like the intake form before recording what you want
listeners to really take away from your episode.
And I want to just read exactly what you put in here.
That no matter what life throws at you, even the messy, painful,
and unexpected stuff, you have the power to create something
(33:20):
powerful and meaningful from it.When you're willing to tap in.
And when you're willing to tap in and trust the wisdom you
already carry and show up with everything you are and
everything you've got inside andout, you realize you really
can't trust yourself. And the whole ride, the highs,
the lows, the WTF plot twists sothat you're really built for it
(33:41):
all already. And I'm want to dig in a little
bit deeper to people who feel very disconnected from that.
They're like, that sounds great.Where do I start?
And kind of where you stepped inor found or started to lean into
the somatic and the intuitive work.
It's a story and it's not a it'snot a happy story, but it's
(34:03):
definitely an origin story on the heels of losing our first
pregnancy. It was a whole ride in itself
because I was so disconnected tomyself.
I was so I was going into corporate job.
I the irony is that I was in theenergy business and I was
helping to distinguish complicated energetic language
to like in marketing format. So it's kind of funny how
(34:25):
there's like a a line up there, an alignment there.
But anyway, the universe laughs and says, right, you were kind
of doing that work, just in the wrong place.
So I, I lost the baby and I couldn't, I just couldn't
function anywhere. I couldn't.
It was such an inside out loss that is so confusing on a
cellular level and identity. Mother, not mother.
What you know, couldn't figure it out.
(34:46):
And I couldn't go anywhere without feeling broken.
Like just I think it was at the Sex and the city movie.
My God, that is like a long timeago.
And I couldn't handle like just seeing babies on a screen.
Like I and I thought that's it, that's it.
I'm done. Like, I just remember being
like, I'm done being me. I'm done being here.
I'm done not being safe anywhereI go.
(35:07):
Like that feeling of I don't like it here.
Like I just, I don't like who I am.
I don't like how I'm thinking. I don't like how I'm feeling.
And I came home and I just, I think sometimes in these really
cornered, emptied shelves moments where you're just a husk
of like who you thought you were, that intuition shows up in
the most incredible ways. And I had an idea and I heard it
(35:30):
very clearly. It said, get a piece of paper,
get a pen. And I was like, I was kind of
like, you know what I'm writing.And I was like, fine, just get
to your computer. Like just, and I was kind of
arguing with this idea because Iwas like, don't I just want to
sit there and write because I, I, I think so fast.
And so I sat down on my computerand it said, listen, it was just
showing me these parts of me that were showing up.
And I felt this observer that was just wringing her hands.
(35:52):
I could see her very clearly. She was just wringing her hands
and kind of like rocking back and forth and just so upset that
everyone was fighting. There was all this infighting in
me, all this inner conflict. Why aren't you OK?
How can you be OK when we're, when this happened, like all
this infighting? And so there was this part that
was just trying to get along with everybody and like this
really nice, like very, can't weall get a long part?
(36:14):
And I, so I started writing about it.
I was like, oh, there's this onepart and she's just pacing And
I, I could see her, she was pacing and my intuition was
showing me this. And I thought, what is going on?
Because I, I didn't know any of this intuitive stuff.
I didn't think I had that ability.
I didn't know that's what that was.
I just had this thing that was guiding me and I was just
describing what it was. I was exploring it and I was
(36:34):
writing it down and so I felt like I was being put to work.
So I was like, all right. And I could feel her angst and I
talked about it. I feel her heart and I feel her
gosh, she's really, she loves people and she wishes we could
all be OK. So she's all about harmony as
part of me. She's all about harmony and
peace and love. My that's great.
And I got these two jokers. So then I saw these other two
(36:55):
joker parts of me. One was like this bully and one
was the victim. And I thought, oh, who do I go
to 1st? Like either 1 is just awful, you
know, because this is where we go.
Well, if I go into any of them, I'm gonna get sucked down like
the Titanic, you know? So I was like, fine, I'll go.
And I was, I was being intuited.Go to each of them, let each of
(37:16):
them talk to you. And you don't get to say a word.
You just listen and you let them.
Almost like this old talk show where they used to put the
microphone on your face and it was Donahue and you talk and
there was like no interruptions,not from the parts, just on the
part that you're working with. So I did the first the observer,
I called her. Then I went to the victim, which
is don't love that term, but that's what she wanted to call.
(37:38):
Yeah. And she was everything from down
on the floor sobbing a mess. How could this happen?
You know, just like devastated to the next thing in rage and
fighting and just and she was wild and I sat with her and
described everything that she was showing me that I could see
in sense and feel. And then I saw this thing around
her ankle, like it's like a chain around her ankle.
(37:59):
And then that hit me with like, Oh my God, she's going to be
forever attached to this thing. She's never because that's how
she felt. That's how she felt.
So she was just trying to show me how she felt.
And I thought, wow, that's amazing.
Like, and the more I leaned intoit, the more I, I got closer
with her and was willing to understand her perspective and
(38:19):
her feelings And like all in, I was just all in because I
thought I got nothing to lose. I got I, I can't be who I am out
there. So I might as well, if I'm going
to, if this is my demise, then I'm going down.
Like I will go down fully then you know when you're falling
dive. So I was like, like, let's go
because I can't. This is the only way right now.
(38:40):
And then she changed. So the more I leaned into her
the more she showed me more of herself.
So my victim all of a sudden started sharing with me like I
would be no other place is what she said to me.
And I thought what? That's not the first layer I saw
and it but that's not the layer I was at.
I was in a new layer and she waslike I'd be no other place.
And I then she helped me understand that she would be the
inconvenient feelings. She would do it any day for me.
(39:03):
Like what an amazing thing to know that there's a part of me
that is willing to be inconvenient and messy and on
the floor for the sake of my wholeness, for the sake of
saying something mattered, you know?
And then I was like weeping, obviously, like, Oh my God, like
to feel her commitment and love and dedication to me as a whole
person to be that inconvenient to everyone and and even me.
(39:25):
But she was like, it mattered. And I will always be this.
I will always be the one that will say that sucked.
This is not OK. I will # my fist and, and what
the instructions felt like was go to each one until you feel
like there's nothing left to say.
And so when I left her, she had changed from this victim into
(39:46):
something that I saw as like this incredible warrior on
behalf of my emotions. And she was this woman that was
fierce and willing and like brave and courageous and badass.
Like she had fire around her andshe was like.
Right. Like you get me.
You feel me now. And like she was almost proud to
show me who she was. And I thought, what the hell is
going on? Like everything was changing.
(40:08):
The more I leaned into it, you know, the more I trusted the
information I was getting. And it was like cleaning.
It was like cleaning it. And then she became this fierce,
like anything else. And she was like, no, I think
you got everything, you know? And I was like, OK, shit.
So then I had to go. And I was like, I got to go to
that junkie over there that's like pointing fingers and mad
(40:31):
and being a bully and awful. The closer I got to that part,
yes, the surface layer mean awful pain in the butt.
But the closer I got, I felt they were scared, right?
Why scared? Because we don't want her to
because we don't want to be likethis.
Why do you not want to be like this?
Because we're this we're these other.
I did not expect, like, I did not expect bullying behavior on
(40:55):
behalf of my greatness, on behalf of my potential.
Because they let it slip. They said, we're worried she'll
always be that way. And I thought, oh, and that
would be wrong. Why?
And they were like, because we're this.
And I was like, oh, see, you're an advocate for the things you
love about me. And it was like, yeah, we don't
want to. And it was like, yeah.
(41:16):
And it just didn't know any other way other than come on, it
happened three months ago or getyour shit together.
Like it was just misguided. It was it, it was just trying to
use anything. It was using anything it
couldn't. And and it was using old ideas.
So that happened in a day and I and at the end of it, I was
(41:37):
feeling something I hadn't felt.I don't know if ever it was
quiet. Everyone felt hurt.
They all understood each other now and they were just breathing
together like no one was mad at each other anymore because they
deeply understood why they were the way they were, how they felt
their feelings had changed also as a result of me letting them
(41:58):
express it. So I would, I became a
facilitator of my own. Like it was so weird.
And then I didn't know what to do with that.
I mean, I, I knew I felt better.I knew I felt stronger and I
could be in the world. All of a sudden I just felt a
piece, a piece. I don't know if I'd ever, ever
felt like that. And I actually called Nancy,
ironically, the woman that endedup passing from Alzheimer's.
(42:19):
I called her, she was intuitive,she was a psychic.
And and she told me, she said, one day you're going to tell
people that story and you're going to help them.
And that was the beginning. That was like the beginning of
me going what? Like why would I tell anybody
that? And so here I am telling
everybody that. But that was the beginning of it
and I understood. So I was sort of self-taught in
(42:40):
the beginning. Like that's what your emotions
are. There's so much more.
There's so much more if you willopen up to the more that that is
you that is happening, you know.I love the depth there.
Thank you for sharing that because I'm like literally was
leaning in the whole time. Like I'm not going to say a peep
because I want to know about allthree of these.
And it just also not only is that happening inside, right,
(43:06):
but you can see it happen in other people, like in the real
life bullies that we come acrossand the victims we come across
and the peacekeepers and we often, you know, kind of judge
what they're doing without always.
We only take the surface story and so I always say to people in
(43:26):
the process of, you know, whether I'm working with the
one-on-one or in the tap in stuff, it's like you're going to
notice there's going to be a surface story of what you get.
This happened bad, wrong. Da da da, da da emotional.
Yes, let the emotions flow. Wait for it.
What else? And then wait, what else?
If all you ever did was like, let yourself feel the next thing
(43:47):
that comes up, trust that process.
And that's why it deserves facilitation because it can be a
lot, you know, depending on whatwe're moving through.
But man, is that wild to realizethat just by being with and
processing and letting yourself explore and express something,
it transmutes it in real time. And that's a bizarre reality to
(44:08):
grab hold of. So then you're kind of like, OK,
like I can trust that and I can trust me in it, yeah.
I'm going to take us somewhere alittle bit more.
I don't want to say like light hearted, but we'll we'll kind
of. Oh, it's a full of roller
coaster ride life. Yeah, yeah.
Let's from one end for it spectrum to another.
(44:28):
Because I know that you, like you mentioned, moved to Ireland,
I think you said two years ago you're living in Wexford County,
which I've also spent some good time down there and I want to
know how it's going. I know Ireland is jumping into
the best time of the year. It's April right now and I saw
(44:48):
your post about that. We're having the fast week and
everyone's like, no one believesus, but we're like, this is
summer. We're not trying to be
pessimistic because you know, but they're like, wait for it
when it's thrashing it down in July.
Just remember this week happenedand that was summer.
So I'm learning that about it. We only really moved here last
August. So two years ago we we set off
(45:09):
traveling for the second time after the pandemic.
It's a whole other story and probably a whole other podcast
on very daring to suck level living, the daring to suck
framework, daring to do something and it's sucking and
then you're figuring it out because of course.
And we traveled with our boys, took them out of school and just
if only to see what would happen.
And so along the way, our eldestsaid he would like to settle
down and actually go to school. And so we listened because when
(45:33):
our oldest one talks, he's one of those kids where you like,
you don't just, you know, just like let it go, you listen.
So we listened and he led that and he liked Ireland.
My dad's from Ireland. So I have family here.
And it's really, it feels like home.
It just feels like whenever I'm here, I just feel my dad.
I feel, I feel myself. I miss my family and friends
(45:55):
like crazy. And you know what, it's really
weird. I miss my family, I miss my
friends. And if someone were to pull up a
jet in my yard and be like, let's go, I'd be like, no.
And I think that's a very strange place for anybody to be.
Like those two things can live under the same roof and it'll
still be OK that I'm here and tolet, to let me be here and miss
(46:19):
those things. So it's going very well.
I've had some just really beautiful moments here where I
can't believe this is my life. And I've, I've gotten here
following the steps that I've, I, I teach others now and I'm
just, I'm kind of blissed out ina way by the whole thing and try
not to be too human and be like,like, when's it going to end?
(46:41):
You know, like so classic, right?
When's, when's the shoe going todrop?
But it's like if it was going todrop, it's our.
And it's funny, my guidance justsays, oh girl, it dropped.
It dropped over 5. It dropped and you were 18.
Like those shoes dropped all over your, you know, you've
already done the shoe dropping. This is a different, this is
different. This is a different reality.
This is different chapters. So enjoy it and like, it's OK.
(47:02):
And you're safe to be here, right?
You're safe to like, yeah, invite in more.
And I think that goes for for all of us.
Yeah. So it's going very well.
It's going very well. I'm so happy for you.
Ireland is such a gorgeous country.
Yeah, I spent like 4 and then six months there.
So, you know, it holds a specialbut complicated place in my
(47:23):
heart, I will say that. Is a perfect and healthy,
special and complicated place inthe world.
It is. You know, the Irish are of
hilarious and funny and complicated, just like the rest
of the humans. But they have their own their
own flair. Yeah.
You mentioned daring to suck your framework and that was one
(47:47):
of the first things when we met at Megan Hale's dream bigger
summit. And at some point you said the
name of of this framework of yours and I was like immediately
love you because I love that. It's that I always say do
something you're bad at. Like where can you just practice
being imperfect because so many of us high achieving women
(48:09):
really feel uncomfortable doing anything if we don't know the
exact way and the exact outcome.And that's just never going to,
you know, be the case. And so I'm just interested a
little bit more. You can, you can speak to the
framework, but really where it came from and, and the name and
just your, you know, kind of ethos around it.
(48:31):
Well, after that breakthrough moment that I had with the, you
know, it all started to, things started to fall into place in a
way, but it was through things like depression and, and, and
going to a psychic for the firsttime and like having a total
meltdown and be like, I need therapy.
I'm, you know, but then stumbling into coaching.
But how did I stumble? It was a whole other story where
my husband met a life coach. My at the same time, my
(48:53):
girlfriend said, why don't you look into coaching?
You always talked about it, which was like 20 years prior.
And I was like, what, why are you talking about problems?
I don't need a career change. And then my husband was like,
Oh, I met one and then I met herand all these things, sort of, I
was like, whoa. And it just happened really
fast. Like, next thing I know, I'm
signed up for coach training at CTI.
And it was in one of the sessions that of course, I was
(49:14):
like all humans, I'm trying to do good.
I'm trying to be good at it, youknow?
And one of the coaches said, Karen, that you're trying like
way too hard to be good. And I was like, I am, gosh, you
know, like, why am I doing that?And she says, I dare you to
suck. And there's certain things that
happen, like when you hear something and it rings a bell
and you that's so when I'm talking to people, whether it's
(49:36):
in a group or one-on-one, I'm like, when I say something and
it resonates like pay attention to that.
That's like a bell ringing off me that says that's yours to pay
attention to. And I just took a, it took me
back and I was like, I heard, what if I lived my life like
that? Like it immediately grabbed what
she said and put it into this idea of like, well, what would
(49:57):
that be like? And so I started this like blog
series of called it daring to suck.
And I was like, I'm going to dare myself to do things that I
want to do and I'm, I'm not going to care about how it goes.
Like I'm just going to do this experimental thing.
So I went and I joined us speaking like learning how to
public speak and I started taking classes and I was
documenting like all my like these ridiculous things that
were happening. None of it was really failure
(50:19):
though. Like it wasn't, it wasn't like I
was an immediate success or anything, but what I was trying
to show people that I was learning was that failure
doesn't actually exist. It doesn't actually exist.
And once you realize that, and then you, I guess, look at the
relationship you have with outcomes.
So I had a tricky relationship with the outcome.
(50:39):
And so that was mine to explore and to choose how I wanted to
relate to outcomes. And someone simply said to me,
what would it be to be unattached to the outcome?
And I'll tell you, there were layers to it.
The first one was, well, what's the point?
Which only speaks to my attack Ifeel.
That one. What's the point then?
(51:01):
What's the point? Why are we even here?
You know, like just. That why am I going to do that
if I'm not going to like be an Olympic athlete or like make
money off of it? I just don't understand.
And the Type A's and the, and I'm not Type A, but like that,
well, what's the point of havinga goal?
And it just wants to blow it allup and say, that's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard. And I was just dared to explore
it a bit more and like, stick with it, walk with it and check
(51:22):
in with it every day. What does I feel like today?
And there were layers like sedimentary, almost like
Jurassic, like the first layer was, well, what's the point?
Which kind of I was like, oh, that speaks.
So that suggests some things right there.
Like oops. Maybe I used to look at that.
I clearly suggest I am very attached to an outcome and my
life depends on it. And my worth and value are
(51:42):
totally, you know, like all of this stuff comes up and I'm
like, well, I don't love that for me.
So then I was like, well, what? Fine, what would it be like?
And then I explored what it would actually be like.
And it didn't take long for me to be like me, like, I could
stretch, you know, just like, and kick, you know, and just do
what I want to do and not care as much and give less bucks and
(52:03):
like, just, and just live my life, you know?
And I was looking at an attachment to my parents and
why, why don't they care more about what I do?
And like, Oh my God, what if that's not what?
What if I just let go of that? And it's feedback, you know,
like needing anyone's feedback. What if I actually brought all
of those needs back home and it not be a sad, lonely story?
It isn't like it isn't. It's actually back in better
(52:26):
order. Oh my God.
So I had to start looking at where I was putting my worth and
value out for tender, you know, and just bring it back home.
But that's a process and a journey that, you know, each one
of us has our has our value and worth tied up in a lot of
different things. So and it was wonderful because
it was like the more I brought back home, it was like
intuitively integrating it. It was like, you know, I was
(52:47):
making sort of wholeness from the whole mess.
Like, so the whole mess then became really intriguing to me
because I was like, well, there was something in there that
wants to come back here. You know what I mean?
Like so it can become more interesting and exciting as
opposed to this drudgery, like, oh, I've got to go dig and I do
the work. You know, it's like we're not a
problem to fix. You know, there's something here
(53:09):
to be experienced and you're here to have an experience and
you are an experienced. Yeah, It's wonderful really,
that we have such big feelings and we get to, we get to do so
many things and yeah. And how we, how we get through
that door, it's unique for each and everyone of us.
So, yeah. So I'm here to facilitate that
process I guess. I love it.
(53:30):
I this year my word has been play.
It's no secret to anybody listening to becoming obsessed
that 2025 and this kind of like segment of the podcast is about
play and experiencing and experimenting and doing it
because it's for the sake of it.And maybe it's unnecessary and
maybe it's unproductive and maybe those are the most
necessary and productive parts, right?
(53:52):
But just giving ourselves that opportunity to do it just
because. To experience so like one thing
I've learned through various experiences is that life is not
about punishment or reward or finish line.
It's about experience. It's about just experiences.
So sometimes we're asked to experience, you know,
(54:14):
disappointment and frustration and and there's always another
invitation for joy or adventure or creativity or like it's if we
knew that more that we're here to have experiences as opposed
to measuring it about good, bad,right, wrong.
It's not, you know, there's a whole it's just a different
journey all together. And I think that was what daring
(54:36):
to suck had me go from this lanethat I was in that everything
was measured and everything was either good, bad, right, wrong.
There was all this yes, no into being here fully as I am in
acceptance, like in learning what that's like and then just
watching what happens. My life just bloomed, like I
(54:56):
went from being this corporate like zombie into this dynamic
alive. Like I wasn't alive before.
I was hanging on a hook existingin my life.
I wasn't living it. I just felt like I was there as
this touchstone for other people.
And that's the sad story. But that's what I was accepting
to be true until it all, you know, kind of blew up.
(55:19):
And sometimes that's how it goes.
But sometimes you know that there's something that needs to
happen. That's the plot twist.
You're like, something's got to shift.
I just don't know what it is yet.
And so I, I mastered this process of, of learning what
that is. And so I'm going to share that
and help however I can. I'm so grateful for you sharing
all of that and all of your wisdom and just experience and
(55:41):
story with me today. We'll finish up with a little
bit of a speed round of obsession questions here.
I want to know when it comes to play and adventure and
exploring, what are you obsessedwith right now?
Oh my God, I'm obsessed with Ireland.
I'm obsessed. I want to go to every beach, I
want to go to every cave, I wantto go to every stone circle.
(56:02):
Like I'm obsessed with the ancient really.
Like just the real raw rough nature where nature has taken
over. Like I love that it's just, to
me, I just could be no better place than that with my kids do
because I watch them. Even though they're teens now,
they still like, as long as theydon't name it, they'll still
like climb things and like. As long as you're not like, oh,
(56:23):
do you want to go climb an adventure?
It's like just looking at the sun.
You can't look directly at it. You just have to kind of like
look back and forth and you justshare those moments.
So we went to a beach the other day and Oh my God, I just, it
was like the best day just watching the dog.
We just got this new puppy that she crossed our path and we
rescued her and watching her seethe ocean for the first time,
(56:44):
like what? So I'm obsessed with exploring
these hidden gems and these sacred spots that nobody knows
about and them not being this touristy trappy thing and them
just being. So it's just the nature here, I
guess. So I'm totally obsessed with
that and being with my family, yeah.
I love it. I love all of that.
(57:05):
When it comes to things outside of yourself that are filling
your cup, like people you're learning from, podcasts, books,
entertainment, artists, any of that, what is kind of filling
your cup these days? What are you obsessed with
there? I'm.
Trying to think what I've been leaning into lately and I feel
like it's just being like. You're like myself and nature
(57:25):
and my family and like that's. Those are my artists.
I go out to my backyard and I stand on the grass and we have
this cow pasture behind us and, like, just the classic rolling
hills with the stone walls and stuff.
Like, I just don't know. To me, that just is I'm still in
this. Like, I can't believe I'm here.
Why am I here? You know, like, yeah, I'm very
(57:49):
much living, I think what I'm teaching and I'm having very
weird, not weird feelings about it, but I'm just very in it.
And it feels like a sort of shoot through my fingers and
toes right now. And I want to and I I just, I
tend to go from the backyard into like my iPad and I'm just
like ideas. I'm like, what do I want to take
this now? And like, what's the next thing?
(58:10):
And so I'm, I'm taking people through a live training of my
daring to suck work starting Sunday because I haven't touched
it in nine years. It's been a kind of self-guided.
And then I work with people privately.
Like they'll watch a module and then we'll do some coaching
around it. Like, but I'm like, I think I
need to like revisit the whole thing and like do a live so that
I'm obsessed with. So it sounds like I'm sort of, I
(58:31):
don't know, obsessed with myself, but I, I think I'm
obsessed with just helping people untangle some of these
knots that get kind of tangled. Yeah.
And I'm sort of focused mostly on, like, where my kids are at,
too. I'm always finding out what's
going on in school and, like, where they're at.
And so I'm definitely like that center cog of the wheel, just
making sure everything's copacetic and, like, harmonized,
(58:52):
you know? Yeah.
I love it. Well, I love that answer too,
because it's something I ask a lot of guests is like, who's
filling your cup right now? And I think that it's so
beautiful that, yeah, sometimes it is.
Other things are helping to to lean in.
And sometimes it's like literally my family and standing
(59:13):
in the backyard looking at what should be a painting on a wall
and is instead my backyard. Yeah, I jerk to say me.
Am I a jerk because I'm realizing?
No, I love it. I love that.
Like that's what I mean, like the human purpose.
Like because it means this and that.
It's like, does it? Maybe it doesn't, Because I
think that's my answer, that I'mjust kind of obsessed with
what's moving through me. Yeah, I think it's a beautiful
(59:34):
answer. Cool.
It's like, oh gosh, but awesome.I mean, how can people who are
listening connect with you and work with you and get involved
with Daring to Suck and the program you just mentioned?
So the easy for the freeway, thefreeway like a highway.
I do this weekly newsletter thatI love because it's in three
(59:54):
sections. Because here's another thing,
I'm obsessed with the moon. So I love moon cycles.
I love what they represent. I love how they are a container
about like what's happening. The container, we're literally
in like under the moon right now.
So it's a full moon today and tomorrow.
And so no wonder I'm all like super expressive because that's
the energy of the moon. So my newsletter sort of broke
(01:00:15):
it up into like, there's medicine from the moon, like
wisdom from the moon, wisdom from the these animal medicine
cards that I love. There's they were like done in
the 70s and they're like super OG and they're, they're rooted
in First Nations wisdom, which Ilove and animals and like really
authentic. And so there's 52 of them and
I've lined up every week and I'mlike, OK, well, this is week 15,
(01:00:35):
full week, full card 15. And how it like lines up and
people are like writing me back like, Oh my God, that message is
like, so weird. I wouldn't align.
So I'm like, this is so cool. So I'm having a blast talking
about the phase of the moon during the week and like what
that like how to like align withthat energy so you're not doing
too much. And then tapping into that like
animal wisdom, like throw that little Oracle message.
(01:00:57):
And then I do my own dairy to suck.
Like prompt to get you into yourlike your experience and like
what's here now. And and so there's that that's
on my website. That's the I call that my anchor
and a line weekly reset because it's like we all need a minute
to like, what do I need this week?
What do I need to know outside of me inside of me to like get
organized So and in that you seewhat I'm up to Like you'll see
(01:01:20):
like how to work with me if you want at the bottom.
But like the chunk of it is likethat, that support and guidance
and my tap into trust. I'm doing a third round of tap
into trust yourself in May if you're curious and send me a
note and we'll chat and I'll answer any questions you got.
But yeah, it's moving people through intuitive exploration
for you to learn your own voice,learn how you roll, but also
(01:01:42):
untangling things from the past,reconciling things that feel
sticky or like to get things flowing again, but through an
intuitive lens. So you're really getting at home
with this intuitive integration that I'm learning that I do, and
so that I'm excited about that. That's in May.
And we will link all of that in the show notes.
(01:02:02):
So thank you so much for being aguest.
This is so much fun. I know it's this is longer than
most of our episodes, but I justneeded to continue hearing
everything you were saying. I was like, I don't.
We'll just keep it going If you are still with us and you're
listening and you found this funor interesting or get inspired
you to dare to suck a little bitmore in your life to listen in
(01:02:25):
and just explore what's inside of you a little bit more.
I would love for you to leave usa five star review and maybe
text it to a friend that would enjoy it to post it on your
story. Tag me at Becoming obsessed pod
and let's chat. All right, now let's go get
obsessed.
Lately I have been obsessed withbut very intentional about the
rooms that I want to be in and honestly extremely lucky.
I've gotten to be in some incredible rooms lately.
One of those was at Megan Hales Dream Bigger Summit and very
specifically her VIP brunch the next day.
(00:20):
This room was jam packed with the 2025 women who are doing big
things, dreaming huge, but also bringing other women up with
them. And one of those women that I'm
especially grateful to have got to meet and chat to is joining
us today. Carrie Anne Livingstone is a
(00:41):
somatic clarity coach who is helping visionary, heart driven
women create, and I love this phrasing create the plot twist
that they have been craving in their life and their business.
Carrie Anne has created her tap into trust yourself journey and
daring to suck framework. I love that name where she
(01:01):
guides deep feelers to reconnectwith their inner guidance, tap
into their intuitive intelligence, and really embody
their truth. Her work blends somatic healing,
spiritual insight, and unapologetic authenticity to
help them and build that self radical trust that I think a lot
of us are craving and don't. We were never taught to tap into
(01:23):
or to listen to, to help them navigate uncertainty and lead
lives and businesses that feel as fulfilling as they are
impactful. Carrie Anne, thank you so much
for coming on the Becoming Obsessed podcast.
I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me new
friend. Yes, and as we before we hit
record, we were chatting and I was like OK, I'll go through
your bio and you were like you know I have something happening
(01:47):
that I haven't added in yet. Tell me more about this.
Well, it's. Funny because the tap into trust
yourself journey came to me while I was driving one day.
Actually something had me ask how I how I coach people, right?
Somatic coach, what is that? You know what I mean?
Like, yes, it's going in throughfeelings, it's getting out of
the head, it's getting more intothe body.
Sure, sure, sure. And I've done 2 rounds of this
(02:09):
journey, which essentially is I just get very excited showing
people their own intuitive intelligence and how I do that.
And like what happens as a result of them realizing that
they've got intuition. Because a lot of us sort of
allocate that to dead, you know,talking to dead people and
seeing visions and things like that, which we can talk more
about. But I really want people to know
(02:30):
like what it actually is and howit works with us and how
everybody has it and to like demystify it a lot.
And through intuitive exploration, we integrate pieces
and parts of ourselves and feelings.
And that integration results in a level of like what I would
call radical acceptance and healing on like the deepest
level. Like it's, it's not here to mess
around. So I call that intuitive
(02:51):
integration. That, to me, totally embodies
what this process is, because it's an intuitive process, but
we're integrating pieces and parts back into a sense of
wholeness and harmony, and that's what I'm obsessed with.
I love it. I love it well, and it is this
almost forgotten piece of our lives, and I don't think that's
(03:12):
by accident that women are not in touch with their intuition
that maybe we can save for another day.
But the best way that I kind of understood this in the last six
months, I was in a conversation where people were talking about
AI and the Internet and how so much knowledge isn't on the
Internet because you can't necessarily vocalize it or
(03:35):
publish it or the people that hold that wisdom haven't
articulated it to put it online.And it made me have this moment
where I'm like, why? When we need to know something,
is our first thought to Google it or to ask ChatGPT instead of
going internal to the source of what's going to work for us.
Yeah. Well, and I mean that's a big,
(03:55):
big question, which is like why do we do that?
Well, conditioning. Yeah, like, yeah, unlike.
Trauma intentionalists worth their weight and sell if you
like conditioning and trauma. One of the first steps like if
we're not really using our intuition and and to me.
OK, so I'm going to talk about how I see intuition that I used
to think that it was like intuition was for people that
(04:16):
were struck by lightning or had a gift and they were very elite
group or like specific group, maybe not elite because we had
all these like Madam Coco or whatever with the scarf and.
The like super woo woo and. And that could never be me.
So I am not that. And that is intuition and and
what I've learned through my ownexploration, whether I was
(04:38):
invited or it was forced upon methat you can get into that.
Also about my origin story, if you will.
But like what it is like what weare and that we are this, I call
it like this superhighway. We're almost like if you imagine
the spokes of a wheel, right? And if we're the center cog of
that wheel, we are this invitation and this vessel for
all of these different aspects of intuition to work with us and
(05:01):
walk with us. And that could be our ideas.
That could be creativity, that could be physical sensation,
could be literally hearing things.
It could be seeing visions. Like you can see all these
different facets. But it can also, this is where
it gets very synchronistic. Is that the more I've maybe, I
don't know if I cleaned the spokes in my wheels, but like,
it's like cleaning out your hallways, like from cleaning,
(05:23):
clearing out trauma, things likethis on a somatic level, you can
see how it all kind of comes together that my intuition has
just gotten stronger. And I think that anyone on a
healing journey is like absolutely.
Like as soon as we start processing our emotions,
clearing the, you know, Lego that we're constantly stepping
on in our proverbial hallways, that we start clearing that out.
It's like we can move more freely and we get better
information too, right? So that information doesn't just
(05:46):
come from within us. The idea is like, where do they
come from? It?
It's a good question to wonder, right?
Like this is our connection to the divine, to nature, Like
nature has a connection, an intuitive connection to us
animals, metaphor, you know, like how our creativity uses
metaphor, Like look at how look at all of the ways intuition
tries to work with us. And so once you start opening up
(06:08):
to that idea, it becomes this really multifaceted kind of
fascinating, like, huh, well, I wonder how mine works, right?
And I'm like, get on in here then like get on in here.
I want to show you, I don't knowhow yours works.
I can't wait to find out how yours works through you.
I'm here to facilitate. Yeah, the the retake your
journey. I got all the right questions
(06:29):
because I've, you know, I've learned it on, on my own in a
lot of ways and through the facilitation of others to be
like, oh man, like I didn't knowthat was intuition, but that
absolutely is. And then that's where
synchronicity comes into play. The more we start clearing
things out and things start flowing again.
You know, you think of like a pipeline and all this sort of
crud like muddy water. You start clearing that muddy
(06:50):
water and just, I want to say weird shit starts happening, but
it's not weird. We just run that muddy water
clear and then things get magical.
And that's where it seems like abit trite, like, oh, right.
But I'm, I'm telling you, I'm sitting in a ridiculously large
and audacious house in the countryside in Ireland.
It makes no sense to me. Two years ago, like I never
(07:11):
would have imagined this would happen.
And it all happened very synchronistically through
following my intuitive nudges, my ideas, synchronistic things
outside of me and following those bread crumbs as as so many
things are possible. There's just an invitation here
to play with possibility. So I guess I use that super
highway as a way to help heal people, to help people heal
(07:31):
themselves. And that's where it's very
deeply personal and even better than say, going to a coach and
and doing what they say and having a breakthrough.
That's great. But the breakthroughs that
happen in here that you instigate like that you like,
there's just, it's just another level of, well, integration.
(07:52):
Yeah. Fortifying who and what you are
in the. World and I love the way yeah
no, I love the way that you're framing all of this because it
makes me think of how one piece can be such can make such a
difference. And really what I'm seeing is in
the world so many people don't trust themselves necessarily.
(08:15):
They lack that self-confidence. They want to make a change.
They want something different inlife.
We hear so many people be like, oh, I'm not creative, I'm not a
creative. Or even when you are, it's
always for this external value validation of like, do people
like my work instead of for the sake of creation.
And as you were speaking, I can see in my own life and in other
(08:36):
people's lives how once you start to tap into that intuition
and like you were saying, that radical self acceptance and that
trust of yourself, it unlocks these pieces of, OK, yeah, I am
creative and this might not makeany sense on paper, but it makes
sense inside. And I don't know why yet, but I
(08:58):
trust myself to make this jump, like potentially moving to
Ireland to go live in the countryside and it.
Wasn't just my decision, it was me dancing with the pieces and
parts of my unique life and how I'm relating to it and how I'm
interpreting it and wondering like, how do I feel about that?
And it will bring up crap, it'llbring up trauma, it'll bring up
(09:21):
feelings. And so then my job becomes
acknowledging what arises and navigating that in the best way
and trying to sort of run that muddy water clear and then see
where I end up then. And then there's a new vantage
point and another one. And I'm not trying to make
people's head spin, but that's what it looks like.
And it is this unique dance for each one of us and the
(09:44):
relationships we have where we are in the world.
How are, you know, all the things that make us us and that
nothing's out of place? I think that's the other piece
that, and once you realize, wow,like you become more fascinating
to yourself. We're invited to do the thing
that I think we hear a lot of spiritual people talk about,
which is to go inward to sort out the world's problems, right?
(10:06):
That we start where we have the greatest and biggest impact and
then we work from the inside outbecause only our relationships
and our businesses, all of our decisions will benefit from that
exploration. And I would boil it down to
three things, which is it's likeyou explore some stuff, express
what you find. That can be through talking, it
can be through writing, it be through poetry.
(10:27):
It could be through creativity, like painting, it could be
through crying, right, expressing feelings.
And as a result of those two, you're expanding.
Something's expanded, something's changed and
something's shifted. And that's the game that to me,
that's, that's the three things that we're doing here
constantly. I'm curious in your bio and in
your work, you help women find the plot twist that they're
(10:50):
craving. I love that phrasing, but I'm
really curious your thoughts on why so many of us are craving a
plot twist in the first place. There's two things that I want
to say about that because it's like finding your plot twist,
but also I deal with two people.People are like something wants
to change, right? Something and they can feel it.
It's like, it's like right here and they they come to me because
(11:14):
they're like, I've tried this, I've tried talk therapy, I've
tried this, I've tried all thesethings and I can't move.
I don't know what this is. And so I just happened to know
how to go in and have a very weird conversation with whatever
this thing is. This, this big ball of some
people would describe like a bigair ball, like stuck in my heart
or my chest or this heavy anvil that somebody chose.
(11:35):
It's like something wants me to,you know, bust through it like
the kool-aid man. And I'm like, OK, well, let's go
explore and see what that is andwe'll find out and to trust
again what they get and follow that and prioritize that.
And then they realize, Oh my God, like I'm amazing.
You know, like I figured this and they figure it out And I
just love, this is my favorite thing to have a front row seat.
(11:56):
But I'm like, it's fascinating. So there's that.
There's like something sense, something wants to change.
And I know it's, it's a plot twist.
Like I'm like, oh, here we go. And then some people are like,
no, I really, I know what I needto change.
Either need to leave a relationship.
It's usually a big thing. I need to change careers, I need
to leave the job I'm at. I need to like, I need to make
(12:17):
some drastic changes. I need to move countries.
So many people are wanting to dothat right now.
And I've done it 3 * 3 or 4 Times Now, I guess.
And I'm 50 now. So it's like I've done a few
iterations at very different ages and like what that means,
you know, when you redesign yourlife.
So to me, the most important thing is understanding why
what's happening, for this to bearising and to understand it.
(12:40):
And I think that a lot comes through the understanding of the
why, like this is happening because I'm feeling this.
I'm noticing that I've outgrown this and like, who am I now?
There's that whole thing too. I mean, life is wild.
So we don't always know. We don't always know what's
coming down the pipeline. And my origin story was more
(13:03):
about me being pushed off the Cliff that I was unwilling to
jump off of. Like I knew it was there.
I, I knew I wasn't in the right job.
I knew I wasn't like living the life I was meant to live, but I
was so scared. I had no idea how right, like
how many people are like it's the how.
If I only knew how, then I would.
And so, because I was so apprehensive, I understand now
(13:26):
that life sometimes pushes us like you're not, you don't.
Choose it, it'll be chosen for you.
You know, and then and I proverbially hit every branch on
the way down and it was rough. Like it was rough.
I, I wouldn't put that on anybody.
I, I wouldn't want anybody to gothrough the loss.
(13:47):
I lost jobs, I lost my career. I lost over six figures in a
market meltdown in 2008, then again in 2011.
So like there was this sort of awashing machine, like just, you
know, and then you get spat out and then you're like, I lost a
pregnancy. It was like inside out loss.
It was. And you know, it was a lot.
(14:11):
And sometimes, sometimes we justneed to almost lose everything
that we thought made us important or whole or good or
safe to realize that at the end,at the bottom of that valley,
you know, when I say every branch down, empty pockets, not
(14:32):
quite sure who I was anymore. Identity shredded.
I was still there. I was still there, but who was
I? And like that was the beginning
of the the next of the journey that got me here and put
everything back in better order.So sometimes the universe will
pick us up, shake us out and have everything, all the things
(14:54):
out of our pockets. Sorry, by the way, I love
metaphor and I'm addicted to it.And then we're like, OK, well,
who am I now? And it's a very cool question to
wonder about and to to realize that you kind of get to choose,
but based on how you feel. And that's a whole other thing
because how cool are you with your emotions?
Do you feel them? How muddy is the water anyway?
But like, yeah, so that I don't know if that answered your
(15:16):
question, but I said some stuff in there.
How? You know, I, I just thank you so
much for sharing all of that because I know that that all of
that loss isn't easy. And I think people listening who
hear that, like somebody might be in that space and really be
able to say, like, OK, I still am here.
(15:38):
And this isn't the end of the journey or the story or my
identity. It's almost a new beginning.
You know what happens? What I and I fell victim to it.
I don't know if that's the rightwords, but I, I fell into that a
few times was not understanding that my emotions, the way I felt
because we can get mired and stuck.
(15:58):
We can get stuck. It's almost like we're not fully
fully, we're not fully feeling anything out.
We don't even know what that feels like.
We don't trust that. We don't trust that we'll be OK.
We don't trust we'll survive that.
We don't trust we'll be the same.
But here's the thing, we probably won't be the same.
But why would you want to stay the same when you feel like
that? You know what I mean?
I'm sort of whispering into anyone's ear that needs to hear
(16:20):
this because man, I wish I had somebody in certain moments to
just say like there is a how through this.
And I've always found that it's through emotional expression,
which means, you know, it's messy and it's confusing and
it's it's awful. Like, it's just going to be
(16:41):
real. Like, yeah, it still kills me.
But how I've been doing this for12 years, actually, probably 15
now. I'm like, how old's my oldest?
He's 15. And there are moments like, I
lost a friend a couple years ago.
And there is still a part of me that thinks, oh I should, I
should be cool with this now. Like I should be.
OK with this. This shouldn't affect me.
(17:02):
I, I should, you know, some people actually put that on me,
like you know how this goes. And I thought, no, that is not
how this goes. There are no free rides.
But what I do know, and I've recognized it many times, that
even in the thralls of grief andloss, and I don't think I'm
going to survive this feeling because it's so big that I can
(17:23):
now recognize that place in the process and be like, OK, we're
hitting the part. We're hitting that part where I
think these things. And I just think this is the
worst. And it's like, hang on.
And I just, you're like hang on to, to, to sort of let it go.
It's like letting the wave deliver me to shore and to trust
the expression, no matter how big or how messy or how scary,
(17:44):
and to grab on to the right people and say, listen, will you
ride this way with me? Because I am scared.
I don't know if he rides. And I love it because every the
shore arrives, the more you trust your body's ability, the
more you trust your emotional intelligence and your intuitive
intelligence to move it because that's what it wants to move.
Also, that intuitive intelligence was to move emotion
(18:07):
through us because emotions justwant to move emotions.
They don't want to stay, they never wanted to stay.
So it's sometimes a lot of this comes down to the relationship
we have with our feelings. And I'm here to help people be
in better relationship with their feelings, to understand
them. When you understand how feelings
work and you start moving through them, you start trusting
them, you start trusting yourself.
(18:28):
So it's all interconnected. Yeah, definitely coming off my
period this week and I've been working on balancing or like
figuring out my hormones a little bit better because a few
of these last periods have been where I'm like everything sucks,
the world is literally ending, Nothing has ever been good and I
(18:48):
just have to sit in it and be like and this will pass.
It has before it will again. Like I think our brains sometime
want to find the reason and intellectualize the feeling and
learning to just be like, OK, let me sit in it.
Let me like do these little things that maybe I can distract
(19:10):
myself or I can keep myself fromover thinking.
So I can get till tomorrow because tomorrow that's going to
be bright and shiny again and it'll feel fine.
And I think to your point, understanding more of OK, what
emotions are coming up because of the situations in my life?
What are emotions are coming up because of the hormones and the
(19:31):
chemicals and when one thing I learned about myself too a
handful of years ago is wheneverI have the best day of my life,
the next day really sucks and I'm like, I just depleted my
dopamine and serotonin, right? Like I'm not going to hold on to
these feelings and like you said, let them move through.
And it doesn't mean don't feel them or like be disconnected,
(19:54):
but how can we just kind of accept the that's how we feel
and not get stuck on? For me, it was always like the
why or I shouldn't feel this wayor there's no reason.
Yeah, great. No reason.
So let's just let it move through.
That's OK. There's so much in all you've
(20:14):
said. It's like which?
Which door do I want to open? And like over the head with what
I have to say, which is this is where it gets a little weird
because as you survive some of these tidal waves that you've
stopped out running and you're like, fine, let's go.
You know, I think that there's alot of mechanisms in the human
experience that invite emotions to move and hormones is is
(20:38):
definitely one of them. It is a ride that I mean, Jesus,
haven't we done enough? When do we catch a break a
little bit, you know, women likewhat more?
And then you know, and then hereI am.
Just the portal too. And I'm like, you know, I
already gave you this and this. Can I just so I'm in that the
paramount bus are just crazy is crazy like the rage that comes
(20:59):
too and whether it's physiological, biological,
spiritual, energetic, whatever these things that evoke the
emotions, there is something pretty amazing to me that we get
to, you know what I mean? Like what if I don't argue with
why it's here? So it's like forgiving the
judgments that we hold about thefeelings we have.
(21:19):
There's the first one. It's like to stop judging the
feelings we have and what if we allowed ourselves to feel them?
So I can hear people being like,well, what if I'm in the grocery
store? You know what I mean?
It's like, I get it. I have had big feelings and big
triggers because triggers are really just, it's like the
opening and it's, it's like, hey, there's an opening, we get
(21:39):
to leave now. And so like there's an
opportunity and, and emotions will basically rush the door to
get out and who am I to get in the way?
But at the same time, I've had to like, OK, I'm at the grocery
store. I feel you.
You're right here. You're not going anywhere.
Like, you can feel it right there.
Just like, please help us. And, you know, so I am.
It's like it hasn't always happened in the moment.
And that's fine. That's me responding, being
(22:01):
responsible, personally responsible for my feelings.
I mean, like, where and when canI do this?
And sometimes we're not graced with that level.
Like sometimes it hits and we'regone.
And you know we wet our pants. At Trader Joe's or me on a ski
mountain a few weeks ago, just like having a full blown like
how am I going to get down this mountain moment?
(22:22):
And what if it's perfect? Because like when you think
about what happened, like what if it was, there's something
holy about it? Because I think that's also the
the invitation and the opportunity.
Like what if I really needed to just let her go, like let her
RIP, not to see who I am in that.
So I facilitate women actually trying emotions on that they've
(22:43):
never let themselves feel. So at my radical acceptance
retreats, their favorite part isthe breaking ship or breaking
stuff part, right? Like where they get to break
stuff. So and it's just goofy.
Like I will go to a thrift storeand I'll just into it like what
here wants me to buy it because and it's crazy.
(23:03):
People are like, how did you know?
Like I had one of these when I was growing up and I, you know,
I hated it or it meant this to me.
And so next thing you know, she's writing all over it and
all the, all the labels and the,you know, the figurine and show
this good girl does next thing, you know, smack, you know, and
just the process of like what that, what that embodiment does
and to try it on to try on anger, to try on rage, to try on
(23:26):
even such some people. We won't even let ourselves feel
sad because it's sad because we're it's not.
That was me for years. Yes, every woman just went to
say to like. Well, especially the rage, I
think that it is so in our culture appropriate and OK for
men to feel rage and women aren't allowed that and that is
(23:50):
the like cultural side of yeah, be lady like what are you mad
about? Or if you are mad, you're a
BITCH again, opening those doorsof it's like you said, if, if
hormones are one of the kind of door openers and avenues and you
find yourself getting angry whenyou're like you're that's the
(24:11):
hormonal, you know, kind of reaction.
It's like, well, how much of that anger just has been needing
to get out? Because I will say, as women,
there is a lot that we have a right to be angry about.
Now here's where I, you said something that I wanted to talk
to talk about because what will happen?
This is, I talked about this in the during stock framework
(24:31):
because there's a whole emotionsmodule, which is like, it's,
it's so critical. We will, what I learned in my
own experience and my own journey and also the people that
I work with is that we'll almostbe like, well, what is the
feeling that I feel? I got to name it.
So there's a name it to claim it, right?
That was a really cool thing to say for a while.
Name it to claim it and, and feel it to heal it.
We all have a good little rhyme,me included.
(24:54):
And there's this attachment or this condition of like, I've got
to name it, make sure I get the name right, make sure I name it
right. And also, where does it come
from now? Now did it come from when I was
7 or 8? Which one?
But I have to get that right? Because if I don't get that
right, then I don't get to feel it out.
Like there's this really weird subconscious layer that I meet a
(25:14):
lot of times in my sessions where I'm like, all righty.
So this is where the somatics plays into it, which is like I
sort of equate it to do you havelike Bulk Barn, like bulk food
stores where there's like the bins of like peanuts and M and
Ms. and stuff. It's imagine your body having.
That's a moment where I want to be like, reminder everyone,
(25:35):
she's not in America. She's not in the US.
But in Canada, we have a place called Bulk Barn, and it's just
the rows and rows of like bulk food bins anyway.
So imagine like at that part of the grocery store, there are all
those like M and Ms. and you're pulling them down and you put
them in the back, right? That our emotions can sometimes
be like that. The shame has its own, you know,
shame, blame, fear, anger, rage,yada, yada, joy also, you know,
(26:01):
sadness, the whole gamut, right bliss, whatever.
And what can happen is as we have experiences, feelings that
we will that we mostly go, oh, Ican't feel that right now goes
in, goes in the bin, right. So now you've got this these
layered experiences that are stacking that silo of emotion.
So we wonder why when we are tired or we are cornered or we
(26:24):
are hormonal and the lid gets ripped off, it's like the bats
are flying out of The Cave and we feel completely out of
control. It's because there's been a
culmination of events that have happened where that emotion has
been stored. And so I'm always like, listen,
use the story. The thing that happened today at
(26:45):
the grocery store, That's fine. It probably isn't the whole
reason about why you feel the way you feel, right?
We can logically realize that. Use the story to open the lid
and then focus on the feeling. So that's the difference.
Because if you only focused on feeling the amount of emotion
that relates to the event, imagine you'd have to remember
(27:09):
every single thing to be able toclear that out and clear that
mud out. And so, so Maddox work helps you
go, well, how does my anger feel?
Anger, not the thing that happened, you know, does it feel
hot? Does it feel heavy?
Where do I feel in my body? Like that's where it gets a bit,
you know, not logical. Yeah, you can't always, you
know, intellectualize it perfectly.
(27:31):
Like primal, you know, and like if it made a noise, if it had
another name other than anger. Like, you know, like what?
And to give yourself to give ourselves permission to let it
be more instinctual and intuitive and creative.
And I get to name it, whatever the hell it like I've named
things like I feel bejiggity, you know, I feel shonky.
(27:54):
I feel and I know what it means.And that's all that matters.
That's all that I own. That is very different than
looking on a chart sometimes andbeing like, oh, what part of the
chart? This Is Us trying and I get it.
And they're very useful tools attimes.
And then we reach a point where we need something more.
And that's where that intuitive integration, that intuitive
(28:15):
exploration and that full permission opens up.
And then you are really, you're really in you, you're really
learning, you're, you're in yourown curriculum at that point.
And I think that's a very empowering place to be in a very
healing place to be. So it's like getting into the
emotion as opposed to the story.Otherwise you end up getting
dragged behind the cart for yourwhole life and instead of
(28:36):
actually leaning into the full emotion.
And I've experienced rage in times where my kids actually saw
it too. And they were like, wow, they
were like, I was looking after afriend that had Alzheimer's.
And this was actually the beginning of our travel journey
when I had the idea, intuition to sell all of our things and
(28:58):
travel the world with our kids. And the first stop was our
friend because she was losing memory and she wanted to see us
before she passed. And of course, we say yes,
right? Because she's like a mother to
us. And she was being really
mistreated by her partner. They're both long past now, a
few years anyway. And he was just lost and scared.
But he was being an ass. He was being a complete ass.
And as a woman caring for another woman in that state, I'm
(29:20):
sorry, but like there was no, there was like I blew fire all
over them. I just breathed fire all over
him and I raged. And what I learned while I was
yelling, he was big guy. He was a big guy and big kind of
scary guy too. And I did not care.
I was like, I was a flamethrowerof love.
(29:41):
And what I learned was that thatwas love, too.
That was weird because it lookedon the surface like rage.
Certainly sounded like it, too. But to know that love has many
facets. And on the other side of it, in
a calm moment, I was able to say, you know, that I was loving
you in that moment, too, right? And he said, yes, like he
understood it at the same time when, you know, when the dust,
(30:02):
when the charred bits of his clothing fell away.
But I didn't know that until I was in it.
And I was like, wow, that was different.
And my kids were like, they wereup against the wall, like they'd
never heard or see me like that.And later on, one of them said I
was kind of scary. And then he was like, but it was
(30:23):
so cool. And it's so cool for them to get
to witness the range of emotion and the range of love and how
things are not always so one andare never one-dimensional.
Yeah, when you were talking about naming your own emotions,
it really makes me think of how my partner and high we, we have
(30:46):
our own language, right? I think a lot of relationships
can relate to that. And I think about this often,
how it's really fun and it feelslike it strengthens our
relationship to not always have to perfectly articulate things.
We can just kind of like, we'll be like boop, bop, like we're
just booping and bopping. And it's like always this signal
that like, Teresa's in a good mood now.
Like whatever she was feeling, she's now feeling happy.
(31:09):
You fed her, you walked her, youwanted her.
We have done the things to make her feel better.
And not only does it help to strengthen a relationship with
somebody else when you kind of find that common ground, but
what you're saying where it strengthens your relationship
with yourself to be able to justsay, you know, I don't
necessarily have the English or French or whatever words to name
(31:29):
this, but I have my own word of like, this is named.
This is an OK thing. We're going to accept it.
We're going to process it. We're going to do whatever needs
to happen. But we're not going to judge it.
And we're not going to feel shame about it.
And that's just my little thing.Like that's just it's OK.
And I'm also here to say, and ifyou do feel the shame about it,
(31:49):
and if you do judge it, I love going into those corners and
people realizing that their judgment is only a veiled value.
It's only something that you obviously also care about that
lives under the same roof. And when you start untangling
things at that level, you start realizing that there's nothing
in you that's to be afraid of. There's nothing in you to fear.
(32:13):
There's nothing in you that is wrong.
There are no bad parts, as Richard Swartz says in his IFS
work, It's like there aren't. And that provides, I think, us
even more permission and freedomto be however we are in every
moment as we arise into every new minute that we're here.
Because I don't know what's going to happen the next minute.
A friggin asteroid could go across the sky.
(32:35):
And just like, we don't know what's going to happen.
And I don't know who I'll be next.
And I just think that's also what we're doing here.
And like, let's not kid ourselves or each other like
that. None of us right have our
proverbials together, so yeah. Yeah, when So I, I, I'm going to
take us not even in a different direction, but maybe a little
(32:57):
deeper on this because I always ask guests when you're doing
like the intake form before recording what you want
listeners to really take away from your episode.
And I want to just read exactly what you put in here.
That no matter what life throws at you, even the messy, painful,
and unexpected stuff, you have the power to create something
(33:20):
powerful and meaningful from it.When you're willing to tap in.
And when you're willing to tap in and trust the wisdom you
already carry and show up with everything you are and
everything you've got inside andout, you realize you really
can't trust yourself. And the whole ride, the highs,
the lows, the WTF plot twists sothat you're really built for it
(33:41):
all already. And I'm want to dig in a little
bit deeper to people who feel very disconnected from that.
They're like, that sounds great.Where do I start?
And kind of where you stepped inor found or started to lean into
the somatic and the intuitive work.
It's a story and it's not a it'snot a happy story, but it's
(34:03):
definitely an origin story on the heels of losing our first
pregnancy. It was a whole ride in itself
because I was so disconnected tomyself.
I was so I was going into corporate job.
I the irony is that I was in theenergy business and I was
helping to distinguish complicated energetic language
to like in marketing format. So it's kind of funny how
(34:25):
there's like a a line up there, an alignment there.
But anyway, the universe laughs and says, right, you were kind
of doing that work, just in the wrong place.
So I, I lost the baby and I couldn't, I just couldn't
function anywhere. I couldn't.
It was such an inside out loss that is so confusing on a
cellular level and identity. Mother, not mother.
What you know, couldn't figure it out.
(34:46):
And I couldn't go anywhere without feeling broken.
Like just I think it was at the Sex and the city movie.
My God, that is like a long timeago.
And I couldn't handle like just seeing babies on a screen.
Like I and I thought that's it, that's it.
I'm done. Like, I just remember being
like, I'm done being me. I'm done being here.
I'm done not being safe anywhereI go.
(35:07):
Like that feeling of I don't like it here.
Like I just, I don't like who I am.
I don't like how I'm thinking. I don't like how I'm feeling.
And I came home and I just, I think sometimes in these really
cornered, emptied shelves moments where you're just a husk
of like who you thought you were, that intuition shows up in
the most incredible ways. And I had an idea and I heard it
(35:30):
very clearly. It said, get a piece of paper,
get a pen. And I was like, I was kind of
like, you know what I'm writing.And I was like, fine, just get
to your computer. Like just, and I was kind of
arguing with this idea because Iwas like, don't I just want to
sit there and write because I, I, I think so fast.
And so I sat down on my computerand it said, listen, it was just
showing me these parts of me that were showing up.
And I felt this observer that was just wringing her hands.
(35:52):
I could see her very clearly. She was just wringing her hands
and kind of like rocking back and forth and just so upset that
everyone was fighting. There was all this infighting in
me, all this inner conflict. Why aren't you OK?
How can you be OK when we're, when this happened, like all
this infighting? And so there was this part that
was just trying to get along with everybody and like this
really nice, like very, can't weall get a long part?
(36:14):
And I, so I started writing about it.
I was like, oh, there's this onepart and she's just pacing And
I, I could see her, she was pacing and my intuition was
showing me this. And I thought, what is going on?
Because I, I didn't know any of this intuitive stuff.
I didn't think I had that ability.
I didn't know that's what that was.
I just had this thing that was guiding me and I was just
describing what it was. I was exploring it and I was
(36:34):
writing it down and so I felt like I was being put to work.
So I was like, all right. And I could feel her angst and I
talked about it. I feel her heart and I feel her
gosh, she's really, she loves people and she wishes we could
all be OK. So she's all about harmony as
part of me. She's all about harmony and
peace and love. My that's great.
And I got these two jokers. So then I saw these other two
(36:55):
joker parts of me. One was like this bully and one
was the victim. And I thought, oh, who do I go
to 1st? Like either 1 is just awful, you
know, because this is where we go.
Well, if I go into any of them, I'm gonna get sucked down like
the Titanic, you know? So I was like, fine, I'll go.
And I was, I was being intuited.Go to each of them, let each of
(37:16):
them talk to you. And you don't get to say a word.
You just listen and you let them.
Almost like this old talk show where they used to put the
microphone on your face and it was Donahue and you talk and
there was like no interruptions,not from the parts, just on the
part that you're working with. So I did the first the observer,
I called her. Then I went to the victim, which
is don't love that term, but that's what she wanted to call.
(37:38):
Yeah. And she was everything from down
on the floor sobbing a mess. How could this happen?
You know, just like devastated to the next thing in rage and
fighting and just and she was wild and I sat with her and
described everything that she was showing me that I could see
in sense and feel. And then I saw this thing around
her ankle, like it's like a chain around her ankle.
(37:59):
And then that hit me with like, Oh my God, she's going to be
forever attached to this thing. She's never because that's how
she felt. That's how she felt.
So she was just trying to show me how she felt.
And I thought, wow, that's amazing.
Like, and the more I leaned intoit, the more I, I got closer
with her and was willing to understand her perspective and
(38:19):
her feelings And like all in, I was just all in because I
thought I got nothing to lose. I got I, I can't be who I am out
there. So I might as well, if I'm going
to, if this is my demise, then I'm going down.
Like I will go down fully then you know when you're falling
dive. So I was like, like, let's go
because I can't. This is the only way right now.
(38:40):
And then she changed. So the more I leaned into her
the more she showed me more of herself.
So my victim all of a sudden started sharing with me like I
would be no other place is what she said to me.
And I thought what? That's not the first layer I saw
and it but that's not the layer I was at.
I was in a new layer and she waslike I'd be no other place.
And I then she helped me understand that she would be the
inconvenient feelings. She would do it any day for me.
(39:03):
Like what an amazing thing to know that there's a part of me
that is willing to be inconvenient and messy and on
the floor for the sake of my wholeness, for the sake of
saying something mattered, you know?
And then I was like weeping, obviously, like, Oh my God, like
to feel her commitment and love and dedication to me as a whole
person to be that inconvenient to everyone and and even me.
(39:25):
But she was like, it mattered. And I will always be this.
I will always be the one that will say that sucked.
This is not OK. I will # my fist and, and what
the instructions felt like was go to each one until you feel
like there's nothing left to say.
And so when I left her, she had changed from this victim into
(39:46):
something that I saw as like this incredible warrior on
behalf of my emotions. And she was this woman that was
fierce and willing and like brave and courageous and badass.
Like she had fire around her andshe was like.
Right. Like you get me.
You feel me now. And like she was almost proud to
show me who she was. And I thought, what the hell is
going on? Like everything was changing.
(40:08):
The more I leaned into it, you know, the more I trusted the
information I was getting. And it was like cleaning.
It was like cleaning it. And then she became this fierce,
like anything else. And she was like, no, I think
you got everything, you know? And I was like, OK, shit.
So then I had to go. And I was like, I got to go to
that junkie over there that's like pointing fingers and mad
(40:31):
and being a bully and awful. The closer I got to that part,
yes, the surface layer mean awful pain in the butt.
But the closer I got, I felt they were scared, right?
Why scared? Because we don't want her to
because we don't want to be likethis.
Why do you not want to be like this?
Because we're this we're these other.
I did not expect, like, I did not expect bullying behavior on
(40:55):
behalf of my greatness, on behalf of my potential.
Because they let it slip. They said, we're worried she'll
always be that way. And I thought, oh, and that
would be wrong. Why?
And they were like, because we're this.
And I was like, oh, see, you're an advocate for the things you
love about me. And it was like, yeah, we don't
want to. And it was like, yeah.
(41:16):
And it just didn't know any other way other than come on, it
happened three months ago or getyour shit together.
Like it was just misguided. It was it, it was just trying to
use anything. It was using anything it
couldn't. And and it was using old ideas.
So that happened in a day and I and at the end of it, I was
(41:37):
feeling something I hadn't felt.I don't know if ever it was
quiet. Everyone felt hurt.
They all understood each other now and they were just breathing
together like no one was mad at each other anymore because they
deeply understood why they were the way they were, how they felt
their feelings had changed also as a result of me letting them
(41:58):
express it. So I would, I became a
facilitator of my own. Like it was so weird.
And then I didn't know what to do with that.
I mean, I, I knew I felt better.I knew I felt stronger and I
could be in the world. All of a sudden I just felt a
piece, a piece. I don't know if I'd ever, ever
felt like that. And I actually called Nancy,
ironically, the woman that endedup passing from Alzheimer's.
(42:19):
I called her, she was intuitive,she was a psychic.
And and she told me, she said, one day you're going to tell
people that story and you're going to help them.
And that was the beginning. That was like the beginning of
me going what? Like why would I tell anybody
that? And so here I am telling
everybody that. But that was the beginning of it
and I understood. So I was sort of self-taught in
(42:40):
the beginning. Like that's what your emotions
are. There's so much more.
There's so much more if you willopen up to the more that that is
you that is happening, you know.I love the depth there.
Thank you for sharing that because I'm like literally was
leaning in the whole time. Like I'm not going to say a peep
because I want to know about allthree of these.
And it just also not only is that happening inside, right,
(43:06):
but you can see it happen in other people, like in the real
life bullies that we come acrossand the victims we come across
and the peacekeepers and we often, you know, kind of judge
what they're doing without always.
We only take the surface story and so I always say to people in
(43:26):
the process of, you know, whether I'm working with the
one-on-one or in the tap in stuff, it's like you're going to
notice there's going to be a surface story of what you get.
This happened bad, wrong. Da da da, da da emotional.
Yes, let the emotions flow. Wait for it.
What else? And then wait, what else?
If all you ever did was like, let yourself feel the next thing
(43:47):
that comes up, trust that process.
And that's why it deserves facilitation because it can be a
lot, you know, depending on whatwe're moving through.
But man, is that wild to realizethat just by being with and
processing and letting yourself explore and express something,
it transmutes it in real time. And that's a bizarre reality to
(44:08):
grab hold of. So then you're kind of like, OK,
like I can trust that and I can trust me in it, yeah.
I'm going to take us somewhere alittle bit more.
I don't want to say like light hearted, but we'll we'll kind
of. Oh, it's a full of roller
coaster ride life. Yeah, yeah.
Let's from one end for it spectrum to another.
(44:28):
Because I know that you, like you mentioned, moved to Ireland,
I think you said two years ago you're living in Wexford County,
which I've also spent some good time down there and I want to
know how it's going. I know Ireland is jumping into
the best time of the year. It's April right now and I saw
(44:48):
your post about that. We're having the fast week and
everyone's like, no one believesus, but we're like, this is
summer. We're not trying to be
pessimistic because you know, but they're like, wait for it
when it's thrashing it down in July.
Just remember this week happenedand that was summer.
So I'm learning that about it. We only really moved here last
August. So two years ago we we set off
(45:09):
traveling for the second time after the pandemic.
It's a whole other story and probably a whole other podcast
on very daring to suck level living, the daring to suck
framework, daring to do something and it's sucking and
then you're figuring it out because of course.
And we traveled with our boys, took them out of school and just
if only to see what would happen.
And so along the way, our eldestsaid he would like to settle
down and actually go to school. And so we listened because when
(45:33):
our oldest one talks, he's one of those kids where you like,
you don't just, you know, just like let it go, you listen.
So we listened and he led that and he liked Ireland.
My dad's from Ireland. So I have family here.
And it's really, it feels like home.
It just feels like whenever I'm here, I just feel my dad.
I feel, I feel myself. I miss my family and friends
(45:55):
like crazy. And you know what, it's really
weird. I miss my family, I miss my
friends. And if someone were to pull up a
jet in my yard and be like, let's go, I'd be like, no.
And I think that's a very strange place for anybody to be.
Like those two things can live under the same roof and it'll
still be OK that I'm here and tolet, to let me be here and miss
(46:19):
those things. So it's going very well.
I've had some just really beautiful moments here where I
can't believe this is my life. And I've, I've gotten here
following the steps that I've, I, I teach others now and I'm
just, I'm kind of blissed out ina way by the whole thing and try
not to be too human and be like,like, when's it going to end?
(46:41):
You know, like so classic, right?
When's, when's the shoe going todrop?
But it's like if it was going todrop, it's our.
And it's funny, my guidance justsays, oh girl, it dropped.
It dropped over 5. It dropped and you were 18.
Like those shoes dropped all over your, you know, you've
already done the shoe dropping. This is a different, this is
different. This is a different reality.
This is different chapters. So enjoy it and like, it's OK.
(47:02):
And you're safe to be here, right?
You're safe to like, yeah, invite in more.
And I think that goes for for all of us.
Yeah. So it's going very well.
It's going very well. I'm so happy for you.
Ireland is such a gorgeous country.
Yeah, I spent like 4 and then six months there.
So, you know, it holds a specialbut complicated place in my
(47:23):
heart, I will say that. Is a perfect and healthy,
special and complicated place inthe world.
It is. You know, the Irish are of
hilarious and funny and complicated, just like the rest
of the humans. But they have their own their
own flair. Yeah.
You mentioned daring to suck your framework and that was one
(47:47):
of the first things when we met at Megan Hale's dream bigger
summit. And at some point you said the
name of of this framework of yours and I was like immediately
love you because I love that. It's that I always say do
something you're bad at. Like where can you just practice
being imperfect because so many of us high achieving women
(48:09):
really feel uncomfortable doing anything if we don't know the
exact way and the exact outcome.And that's just never going to,
you know, be the case. And so I'm just interested a
little bit more. You can, you can speak to the
framework, but really where it came from and, and the name and
just your, you know, kind of ethos around it.
(48:31):
Well, after that breakthrough moment that I had with the, you
know, it all started to, things started to fall into place in a
way, but it was through things like depression and, and, and
going to a psychic for the firsttime and like having a total
meltdown and be like, I need therapy.
I'm, you know, but then stumbling into coaching.
But how did I stumble? It was a whole other story where
my husband met a life coach. My at the same time, my
(48:53):
girlfriend said, why don't you look into coaching?
You always talked about it, which was like 20 years prior.
And I was like, what, why are you talking about problems?
I don't need a career change. And then my husband was like,
Oh, I met one and then I met herand all these things, sort of, I
was like, whoa. And it just happened really
fast. Like, next thing I know, I'm
signed up for coach training at CTI.
And it was in one of the sessions that of course, I was
(49:14):
like all humans, I'm trying to do good.
I'm trying to be good at it, youknow?
And one of the coaches said, Karen, that you're trying like
way too hard to be good. And I was like, I am, gosh, you
know, like, why am I doing that?And she says, I dare you to
suck. And there's certain things that
happen, like when you hear something and it rings a bell
and you that's so when I'm talking to people, whether it's
(49:36):
in a group or one-on-one, I'm like, when I say something and
it resonates like pay attention to that.
That's like a bell ringing off me that says that's yours to pay
attention to. And I just took a, it took me
back and I was like, I heard, what if I lived my life like
that? Like it immediately grabbed what
she said and put it into this idea of like, well, what would
(49:57):
that be like? And so I started this like blog
series of called it daring to suck.
And I was like, I'm going to dare myself to do things that I
want to do and I'm, I'm not going to care about how it goes.
Like I'm just going to do this experimental thing.
So I went and I joined us speaking like learning how to
public speak and I started taking classes and I was
documenting like all my like these ridiculous things that
were happening. None of it was really failure
(50:19):
though. Like it wasn't, it wasn't like I
was an immediate success or anything, but what I was trying
to show people that I was learning was that failure
doesn't actually exist. It doesn't actually exist.
And once you realize that, and then you, I guess, look at the
relationship you have with outcomes.
So I had a tricky relationship with the outcome.
(50:39):
And so that was mine to explore and to choose how I wanted to
relate to outcomes. And someone simply said to me,
what would it be to be unattached to the outcome?
And I'll tell you, there were layers to it.
The first one was, well, what's the point?
Which only speaks to my attack Ifeel.
That one. What's the point then?
(51:01):
What's the point? Why are we even here?
You know, like just. That why am I going to do that
if I'm not going to like be an Olympic athlete or like make
money off of it? I just don't understand.
And the Type A's and the, and I'm not Type A, but like that,
well, what's the point of havinga goal?
And it just wants to blow it allup and say, that's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard. And I was just dared to explore
it a bit more and like, stick with it, walk with it and check
(51:22):
in with it every day. What does I feel like today?
And there were layers like sedimentary, almost like
Jurassic, like the first layer was, well, what's the point?
Which kind of I was like, oh, that speaks.
So that suggests some things right there.
Like oops. Maybe I used to look at that.
I clearly suggest I am very attached to an outcome and my
life depends on it. And my worth and value are
(51:42):
totally, you know, like all of this stuff comes up and I'm
like, well, I don't love that for me.
So then I was like, well, what? Fine, what would it be like?
And then I explored what it would actually be like.
And it didn't take long for me to be like me, like, I could
stretch, you know, just like, and kick, you know, and just do
what I want to do and not care as much and give less bucks and
(52:03):
like, just, and just live my life, you know?
And I was looking at an attachment to my parents and
why, why don't they care more about what I do?
And like, Oh my God, what if that's not what?
What if I just let go of that? And it's feedback, you know,
like needing anyone's feedback. What if I actually brought all
of those needs back home and it not be a sad, lonely story?
It isn't like it isn't. It's actually back in better
(52:26):
order. Oh my God.
So I had to start looking at where I was putting my worth and
value out for tender, you know, and just bring it back home.
But that's a process and a journey that, you know, each one
of us has our has our value and worth tied up in a lot of
different things. So and it was wonderful because
it was like the more I brought back home, it was like
intuitively integrating it. It was like, you know, I was
(52:47):
making sort of wholeness from the whole mess.
Like, so the whole mess then became really intriguing to me
because I was like, well, there was something in there that
wants to come back here. You know what I mean?
Like so it can become more interesting and exciting as
opposed to this drudgery, like, oh, I've got to go dig and I do
the work. You know, it's like we're not a
problem to fix. You know, there's something here
(53:09):
to be experienced and you're here to have an experience and
you are an experienced. Yeah, It's wonderful really,
that we have such big feelings and we get to, we get to do so
many things and yeah. And how we, how we get through
that door, it's unique for each and everyone of us.
So, yeah. So I'm here to facilitate that
process I guess. I love it.
(53:30):
I this year my word has been play.
It's no secret to anybody listening to becoming obsessed
that 2025 and this kind of like segment of the podcast is about
play and experiencing and experimenting and doing it
because it's for the sake of it.And maybe it's unnecessary and
maybe it's unproductive and maybe those are the most
necessary and productive parts, right?
(53:52):
But just giving ourselves that opportunity to do it just
because. To experience so like one thing
I've learned through various experiences is that life is not
about punishment or reward or finish line.
It's about experience. It's about just experiences.
So sometimes we're asked to experience, you know,
(54:14):
disappointment and frustration and and there's always another
invitation for joy or adventure or creativity or like it's if we
knew that more that we're here to have experiences as opposed
to measuring it about good, bad,right, wrong.
It's not, you know, there's a whole it's just a different
journey all together. And I think that was what daring
(54:36):
to suck had me go from this lanethat I was in that everything
was measured and everything was either good, bad, right, wrong.
There was all this yes, no into being here fully as I am in
acceptance, like in learning what that's like and then just
watching what happens. My life just bloomed, like I
(54:56):
went from being this corporate like zombie into this dynamic
alive. Like I wasn't alive before.
I was hanging on a hook existingin my life.
I wasn't living it. I just felt like I was there as
this touchstone for other people.
And that's the sad story. But that's what I was accepting
to be true until it all, you know, kind of blew up.
(55:19):
And sometimes that's how it goes.
But sometimes you know that there's something that needs to
happen. That's the plot twist.
You're like, something's got to shift.
I just don't know what it is yet.
And so I, I mastered this process of, of learning what
that is. And so I'm going to share that
and help however I can. I'm so grateful for you sharing
all of that and all of your wisdom and just experience and
(55:41):
story with me today. We'll finish up with a little
bit of a speed round of obsession questions here.
I want to know when it comes to play and adventure and
exploring, what are you obsessedwith right now?
Oh my God, I'm obsessed with Ireland.
I'm obsessed. I want to go to every beach, I
want to go to every cave, I wantto go to every stone circle.
(56:02):
Like I'm obsessed with the ancient really.
Like just the real raw rough nature where nature has taken
over. Like I love that it's just, to
me, I just could be no better place than that with my kids do
because I watch them. Even though they're teens now,
they still like, as long as theydon't name it, they'll still
like climb things and like. As long as you're not like, oh,
(56:23):
do you want to go climb an adventure?
It's like just looking at the sun.
You can't look directly at it. You just have to kind of like
look back and forth and you justshare those moments.
So we went to a beach the other day and Oh my God, I just, it
was like the best day just watching the dog.
We just got this new puppy that she crossed our path and we
rescued her and watching her seethe ocean for the first time,
(56:44):
like what? So I'm obsessed with exploring
these hidden gems and these sacred spots that nobody knows
about and them not being this touristy trappy thing and them
just being. So it's just the nature here, I
guess. So I'm totally obsessed with
that and being with my family, yeah.
I love it. I love all of that.
(57:05):
When it comes to things outside of yourself that are filling
your cup, like people you're learning from, podcasts, books,
entertainment, artists, any of that, what is kind of filling
your cup these days? What are you obsessed with
there? I'm.
Trying to think what I've been leaning into lately and I feel
like it's just being like. You're like myself and nature
(57:25):
and my family and like that's. Those are my artists.
I go out to my backyard and I stand on the grass and we have
this cow pasture behind us and, like, just the classic rolling
hills with the stone walls and stuff.
Like, I just don't know. To me, that just is I'm still in
this. Like, I can't believe I'm here.
Why am I here? You know, like, yeah, I'm very
(57:49):
much living, I think what I'm teaching and I'm having very
weird, not weird feelings about it, but I'm just very in it.
And it feels like a sort of shoot through my fingers and
toes right now. And I want to and I I just, I
tend to go from the backyard into like my iPad and I'm just
like ideas. I'm like, what do I want to take
this now? And like, what's the next thing?
(58:10):
And so I'm, I'm taking people through a live training of my
daring to suck work starting Sunday because I haven't touched
it in nine years. It's been a kind of self-guided.
And then I work with people privately.
Like they'll watch a module and then we'll do some coaching
around it. Like, but I'm like, I think I
need to like revisit the whole thing and like do a live so that
I'm obsessed with. So it sounds like I'm sort of, I
(58:31):
don't know, obsessed with myself, but I, I think I'm
obsessed with just helping people untangle some of these
knots that get kind of tangled. Yeah.
And I'm sort of focused mostly on, like, where my kids are at,
too. I'm always finding out what's
going on in school and, like, where they're at.
And so I'm definitely like that center cog of the wheel, just
making sure everything's copacetic and, like, harmonized,
(58:52):
you know? Yeah.
I love it. Well, I love that answer too,
because it's something I ask a lot of guests is like, who's
filling your cup right now? And I think that it's so
beautiful that, yeah, sometimes it is.
Other things are helping to to lean in.
And sometimes it's like literally my family and standing
(59:13):
in the backyard looking at what should be a painting on a wall
and is instead my backyard. Yeah, I jerk to say me.
Am I a jerk because I'm realizing?
No, I love it. I love that.
Like that's what I mean, like the human purpose.
Like because it means this and that.
It's like, does it? Maybe it doesn't, Because I
think that's my answer, that I'mjust kind of obsessed with
what's moving through me. Yeah, I think it's a beautiful
(59:34):
answer. Cool.
It's like, oh gosh, but awesome.I mean, how can people who are
listening connect with you and work with you and get involved
with Daring to Suck and the program you just mentioned?
So the easy for the freeway, thefreeway like a highway.
I do this weekly newsletter thatI love because it's in three
(59:54):
sections. Because here's another thing,
I'm obsessed with the moon. So I love moon cycles.
I love what they represent. I love how they are a container
about like what's happening. The container, we're literally
in like under the moon right now.
So it's a full moon today and tomorrow.
And so no wonder I'm all like super expressive because that's
the energy of the moon. So my newsletter sort of broke
(01:00:15):
it up into like, there's medicine from the moon, like
wisdom from the moon, wisdom from the these animal medicine
cards that I love. There's they were like done in
the 70s and they're like super OG and they're, they're rooted
in First Nations wisdom, which Ilove and animals and like really
authentic. And so there's 52 of them and
I've lined up every week and I'mlike, OK, well, this is week 15,
(01:00:35):
full week, full card 15. And how it like lines up and
people are like writing me back like, Oh my God, that message is
like, so weird. I wouldn't align.
So I'm like, this is so cool. So I'm having a blast talking
about the phase of the moon during the week and like what
that like how to like align withthat energy so you're not doing
too much. And then tapping into that like
animal wisdom, like throw that little Oracle message.
(01:00:57):
And then I do my own dairy to suck.
Like prompt to get you into yourlike your experience and like
what's here now. And and so there's that that's
on my website. That's the I call that my anchor
and a line weekly reset because it's like we all need a minute
to like, what do I need this week?
What do I need to know outside of me inside of me to like get
organized So and in that you seewhat I'm up to Like you'll see
(01:01:20):
like how to work with me if you want at the bottom.
But like the chunk of it is likethat, that support and guidance
and my tap into trust. I'm doing a third round of tap
into trust yourself in May if you're curious and send me a
note and we'll chat and I'll answer any questions you got.
But yeah, it's moving people through intuitive exploration
for you to learn your own voice,learn how you roll, but also
(01:01:42):
untangling things from the past,reconciling things that feel
sticky or like to get things flowing again, but through an
intuitive lens. So you're really getting at home
with this intuitive integration that I'm learning that I do, and
so that I'm excited about that. That's in May.
And we will link all of that in the show notes.
(01:02:02):
So thank you so much for being aguest.
This is so much fun. I know it's this is longer than
most of our episodes, but I justneeded to continue hearing
everything you were saying. I was like, I don't.
We'll just keep it going If you are still with us and you're
listening and you found this funor interesting or get inspired
you to dare to suck a little bitmore in your life to listen in
(01:02:25):
and just explore what's inside of you a little bit more.
I would love for you to leave usa five star review and maybe
text it to a friend that would enjoy it to post it on your
story. Tag me at Becoming obsessed pod
and let's chat. All right, now let's go get
obsessed.
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