June 5, 2024 • 44 mins
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In this heartfelt and insightful episode of 'Becoming Sunshine,' Madeline opens up about her personal journey with chronic disease and the ensuing spiritual healing process. She dives deep into the initial struggles of misdiagnosis, how she found the right care through functional medicine, and the important role of MRT testing in identifying her food sensitivities. Madeline emphasizes the value of tailored medical care, the importance of mental and spiritual well-being, and shares practical tips on managing stress, maintaining a consistent sleep routine, and the benefits of meditation and journaling. She also explores the connection between trauma, such as sexual assault, and chronic illness, advocating for holistic health approaches that look at the body as an interconnected system. Tune in to gain valuable insights into proactive health management and the transformative power of self-healing.
Chapter Markers
**TRIGGER WARNING** Depicts incidents of sexual assault
00:00 Introduction: My Journey with Chronic Disease
01:10 Welcome to Becoming Sunshine
05:09 The Turning Point: Mono and Autoimmune Disease
09:02 Discovering Functional Medicine
12:53 The Impact of Diet and MRT Testing
23:23 The Role of Meditation and Routine
32:46 Emotional Healing and Trauma
42:42 Conclusion and Future Topics
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Madeline (00:00):
With what happened with me I don't think it's a
coincidence that after I wasattacked and I tried to report
the incident I felt like myvoice wasn't heard and I felt
shut down this is why victimsdon't report stuff and I just
felt like he got away with it myvoice didn't matter what
(00:23):
happened to me didn't matter theworld wasn't safe, no one had my
back I feel like I had a blockedthroat chakra and then I ended
up with the disease in my throatThis is a big part of, why I got
into spirituality and learningabout these things and healing
my body because I feel like somany people have trauma, maybe
(00:47):
not as extreme as what happenedto me, but even just childhood
trauma or trauma fromrelationships or just anything
really.
It can manifest in the body inso many different ways.
If we're not working on healingourselves, it's going to come up
at some point.
(01:10):
Welcome to Becoming Sunshine,for those of you that know me,
you know that sunshine has beenan alias of mine for almost a
decade now, and sunshine also isme becoming my highest self, and
that's what this podcast isabout.
I'm here to help you understandyourself better, and maybe learn
(01:30):
some more about myself along theway.
Thanks so much for joining me,I'm excited.
Hey guys, it's Madeline.
I just wanted to come on heretoday and talk about my journey
with chronic disease and howit's changed my life I feel like
so many of my friends right noware going through something
(01:53):
really similar that I wentthrough a few years ago and I
realized that There's just not alot of information out there or
a lot of false information andthings just aren't accessible.
I feel like when I first gotsick, I didn't even know I was
sick and I think that's the sameboat a lot of people are in and
(02:15):
then I was misdiagnosed for awhile, I feel like a lot of my
friends are going through thatand when I finally got the right
care, I did a deep dive intobooks and online workshops and
everything I learned everythingI could about my disease and
either people just don't havethe same resources as me or they
(02:38):
just don't have the time or theyjust can't dive that deep into
it.
So, I wanted to take some of theknowledge that I had and some of
the things that worked for meand share that with everyone.
This all started early in my20s.
I feel like most of my 20s.
(03:00):
I was unwell when I was incollege my stomach always hurt.
I was always bloated I feel likeno matter how hard I worked out.
I just never thought I wouldhave a flat stomach because It
was just always bloated I didn'tunderstand why when I was 21, I
(03:22):
actually had to go to theemergency room because I had
such bad stomach pains and Iended up having five times the
normal amount of air in mystomach and I started throwing
up, like it was, it washorrible, just not knowing what
was wrong with my body for solong.
I remember I would try to dojuice cleanses and that was the
(03:45):
only way my stomach would stophurting.
I think fasting is a really goodway to give your body time to
heal.
I actually did some fastinglater in my health journey.
My doctor recommended it, butearly on before I started seeing
a functional medicinepractitioner, I would just do
juice cleanses to try to getsome kind of relief.
(04:09):
I'm not saying juice cleansesare bad, but I just don't know
if they're for everyone.
I feel like it really depends onyour hormones in general when
you're fasting.
I also think that drinking abunch of sugar usually isn't
helpful.
It just spikes your...
blood sugar and makes you feellightheaded.
I'm not a big juice cleanse fanI feel like if you're gonna fast
(04:32):
fast, but I'm not a huge fan ofjuice cleanses but that's just
my own opinion.
I'm not a doctor Everyone hastheir own experience, and again
it depends on your genderdepends on where your your
hormone cycle It depends on alot of things and just where
your health is that at the time?
In my early 20s, I had stomachproblems on and off for years.
(04:57):
My stomach always hurt.
I feel like as time went by, Ijust seemed to get worse and
worse.
There was less stuff I felt Iwas able to eat without having
discomfort.
Then the summer of 2018, I wentto a 4th of July party and
shared drinks with people andended up getting mono.
(05:18):
For those of you that have heardof mono, it's nicknamed, the
kissing disease.
I didn't even kiss anyone, so Ididn't even get it a fun way.
Anyways, after that I don't knowany of you that have ever had
mono, but you're basically sickfor months, you have no energy,
and that specific virus actuallyis a known trigger.
(05:43):
for my autoimmune disease andfor several other ones.
In order for an autoimmunedisease to manifest in the body,
you typically need three things.
You need to have leaky gut, youneed to have, chronic
inflammation usually from dietor whatever you have triggers
(06:04):
that are keeping you chronicallyinflamed and then usually
there'll be some kind ofcatalyst to set it off and just
to set everything in motion andfor me that was the monovirus
For those of you that don't knowwhat leaky gut is It's basically
when Gut lining is kind of likeSwiss cheese because of
(06:26):
inflammation and just otherthings that you're sensitive to
or allergic to that youshouldn't be eating proteins in
the food that you're eating areable to get through the gut
barrier into your bloodstreamand you're having an immune
reaction.
It's just sending signals inyour body to attack and it's
(06:49):
just it's not fun.
I got mono this summer of 2018and you are sick for a few
months, but it was just like Inever got better.
My conventional doctor at thetime told me that I would be
feeling really burnt out for afew months and then as time went
(07:09):
on, I noticed I wasn't gettingbetter.
And so...
I got some blood work done andshe told me I had
hypothyroidism, for those of youthat don't know, hypothyroidism
is low thyroid hormone, so I washypothyroid but what my doctor
had missed was that it was dueto an autoimmune disease,
(07:32):
Hashimoto's thyroiditis withoutmaking that connection, you're
not really healing or addressingthe root problem, you're just
addressing the low thyroidhormone, and majority of the
time low thyroid is caused byHashimoto's.
(07:52):
So, for those of you that findout you have low thyroid, you
might wanna double check andmake sure that you don't have
Hashimoto's, because, if you'renot addressing the main issue,
your body is just going tocontinue to attack itself until
your thyroid is destroyed and,then you won't have any hormone
being made.
(08:13):
So, it's definitely important tohave that addressed and make
sure that you're actuallygetting the help that you need
and you're not just putting abandaid on the problem.
I think that's the problem witha lot of conventional medicine
these days.
It's not necessarily thedoctor's fault.
I think it's just the way ourhealthcare system is set up and
not to go off on a tangent, butthere are so many problems with
(08:36):
it.
it's not any one thing, there'sso many people that need care
and the doctors don't have thetime that they really need to
give the attention that everypatient needs to make sure that
they are addressing the realissue and they're not just
looking at a problem in a vacuumand they're looking at the
person as a whole and that's whyI really like functional
(08:59):
medicine and more holisticmedicine My conventional doctor
at the time first put me onlevothyroxine.
Levothyroxine is a type ofthyroid medication.
I feel like it's one of thefirst ones that's prescribed,
which to me seems kind of sillybecause Levothyroxine only has
(09:21):
T4 in it.
It doesn't have the active formof thyroid hormone, so There's
T3 and T4 T3 is the active formof thyroid hormone, T4 is
inactive and it is made activein the gut and in the liver, but
If you're chronically inflamed,more than likely you're having
(09:43):
problems with your gut and yourliver, and your body isn't able
to properly turn T4 into T3, soit kind of makes the medicine
obsolete.
It doesn't really work, sothat's what was happening to me.
I was taking this medicationevery day.
I wasn't feeling any better.
My Free t3 and my t3 levels werestill very low and I was gaining
(10:10):
weight my hair was falling out.
I had no energy.
I was debilitatingly fatigued Ihad skin issues.
I had stomach problems.
I was starting to have cognitiveproblems it was just getting
worse and worse for me andfortunately the guy I was
(10:32):
started dating at the time hewas seeing this functional
medicine doctor for his own,chronic condition and he
introduced me to my doctor whosaved my life and I don't say
that lightly.
He really did save my life and Ican't recommend him enough.
A few of my friends actuallystarted going to him and have
(10:54):
had amazing results, and they'vetold me that they feel like new
people.
Honestly, I feel like he's moreof a friend these days than a
doctor.
He just really cares about hispatients and he's just such a
good person and really caresabout his craft.
When you find good people inyour life that not only want to
help you with your health, butwant to help you in general,
make sure that you're your bestself and want to see good things
(11:17):
for you.
I love that so much.
I think that's so special andrare to find in a practitioner
Anyways, I started working withmy functional medicine doctor
back in 2019.
Functional medicine looks atyour body as a whole.
It doesn't, again, look at aproblem in a vacuum.
It considers the mind, body, andthe spirit.
(11:39):
When I first went to myfunctional medicine doctor, I
had to fill out this long intakeform and honestly, I feel like
sometimes he knows me betterthan I know myself.
He knows about all my history,past trauma.
Past health records, just sothorough, so amazing.
I remember he told me he spentfour hours prepping my chart,
(12:03):
and I just feel like that kindof attention to detail is really
unheard of in healthcare thesedays, I'm so grateful.
During our first consultation,he spent two hours explaining
everything to me and breakingeverything down for me up until
this point, I had gonemisdiagnosed and I was treated
incorrectly.
(12:24):
I don't mean I was treatedpoorly, my symptoms were not
treated correctly and the rootproblems were not treated
correctly for my autoimmunedisease in particular, there's
so many different triggers thatyou can possibly have,I ended up
doing a lot of testing and Ifound that there was toxic mold
in my system which is somethingthat is very common,
(12:48):
unfortunately, and it can leadto so many problems in the body.
One of the main things thathelped me was doing MRT testing.
MRT testing is a patentedsensitivity test.
It's different from a lot of theother tests I've seen on
Instagram or something.
(13:09):
I'm not here to say that thosearen't helpful or that they
don't work but this one ispatented and it's for different
types of antibodies.
It doesn't just test for food.
It also tests for commonchemicals and other ingredients
in personal care products oreven food coloring It's really
thorough.
When you get your results youhave a sliding scale of
(13:34):
reactivity it'll show you thethings that you're not reactive
to and then it'll show thingsthat you're mildly reactive to
more reactive to and the mostthings that you should avoid in
your diet, it was crazy when Ifound out some of the stuff that
I was allergic and sensitive toI was super sensitive to
(13:55):
turmeric, which I was eating ona daily basis at the time, it's
in so many wellness and healthproducts, and it's great for
most people, but again what'sgood for you might not be good
for me, and what's healthy forsome might not be healthy for
someone else.
That's why I don't believe in aone size fits all diet or the
(14:18):
diet that everyone should be on.
I remember earlier in my 20s, Itried all the diets.
Paleo for years, which honestly,I think, led to a lot of my
problems because I had a lot ofnutrient deficiencies.
That is also one of my rootcauses.
I was really low in B vitaminsand A lot of B vitamins are in
(14:39):
grains so if you're paleo,you're not getting these B
vitamins that give you energyand make you feel good.
Honestly, if you're notsensitive or allergic to
something and you enjoy it,everything in moderation is
fine, I think when we have theserestrictive diets, it leads to
deficiencies and, eatingdisorders, which I also have
(14:59):
struggled with.
When I was in my early 20s, andthis was right before I started
to get really, really sick, Iwas actually, training to do a
bikini competition.
I was at the gym five or sixdays a week, lifting weights
like two hours a day on a veryregimen restricted diet.
(15:21):
It's almost laughable nowthinking of the diet that I used
to eat.
It was like ground turkey andbroccoli and like all these
things and I'm actually allergicto all those things.
So of course my stomach washurting and of course I was
bloated and of course I waschronically inflamed.
I was eating stuff on a dailybasis, the same stuff over and
over again, and I was allergicto it.
(15:41):
I've also read that if you eatthe same foods often it's more
likely that you will becomesensitive to them.
That's why It's good to rotateyour food and eat seasonally I
never realized how importantthis was I actually went to
school and learned aboutnutrition in college and we
never learned about any of thisstuff.
(16:03):
It's just kind of funny.
I know way more useful stuff nowthan I honestly learned in
college, but it's okay who usestheir degree anyways, right?
I don't know.
It's important to eat what makesyou feel good and not be
restrictive.
MRT testing was one of thegreatest things for me.
(16:23):
It was monumental in my healing.
So, you get this long list ofall the foods and chemicals
you're reactive to, and youactually get a reintroduction
schedule how to rotate your foodback in the ones that you can
eat, based on reactivity, andYou get this little card.
(16:47):
It's laminated my friends kindof teased me a little bit, but
this this is like this is thething you get this little
laminated card and it has yourname the name of your doctor the
day of the test It's color codedand it has all of your yellows
and all of your reds so all ofthe foods or chemicals that
(17:08):
you're moderately and highlyreactive to on this little card
that would fit in your wallet orwould fit in your purse.
I love to eat I love to go outto eat you look at the menu and
not all the ingredients arelisted the oils aren't listed
the marinades aren't listed sowhen you have this little card,
you give it to the waitress.
They give it to the chef there'sno miscommunication.
(17:29):
They know all about yourallergies and you can have peace
of mind knowing that your foodthat you're about to eat is safe
I feel like that was one of thebiggest things I love to travel
and I actually stopped travelingfor a while because it wasn't
fun for me anymore because mystomach always hurt my clothes
didn't fit I was miserablebecause I would go to
(17:51):
restaurants.
I would eat at places I wasn'tused to eating at and I would be
sick and no one wants to be sickon a trip no one wants to be
sick on vacation so it kind oftook the joy out of it for a
while for me I made like 20copies.
They're in every bag everypocket every everything that I
have my friends all have a copyof it on their phone saved.
(18:14):
It's kind of funny, but that wasone of the most helpful things
one of my root causes was myfood sensitivities.
I have quite a few and beingvery strict with my diet, I
don't mean strict like I don'teat sweets or whatever, but not
eating any of these things onthis card anymore really helped
(18:35):
me get into remission.
It took two years I didn't takethis test right away.
I was doing other testing butonce I did implement these
restrictions into my diet and Iwas, very strict it changed my
whole life.
I did a lot of elimination dietswhen I was sick I did the
(18:56):
autoimmune protocol.
It's very strict it was helpfuland I would recommend it, but
personally, I don't think it'sas helpful as MRT testing
because it's not specific to youand your blood.
I think the best diet is goingto be the one that's specific to
you, not one that someone elsecame up with.
(19:19):
If you don't have the resourcesto get this testing done because
it is expensive, I wouldrecommend elimination diets.
I would recommend the AIP diet,but one thing that I did notice
about the AIP diet is that it isnot the most calorically
friendly, which I think is alittle bit ironic considering
(19:41):
one of the main qualms I hadwith Hashimoto's is the weight
gain, especially for a woman, Iwas probably 30 pounds heavier
than I am now and as a woman,that is just soul crushing to
just feel not yourself, to feelnot beautiful, to feel like your
(20:06):
body is betraying you.
no matter what you do, there'snothing you can do to get this
weight off.
At one point I had threedifferent trainers.
I was on very strict diets.
I I was trying everything, sosad anyways, that is one thing
that I did notice, and becareful with these AIP cookbooks
and these other cookbooks,because they are not necessarily
(20:30):
calorically friendly and,calorie mindful so remember
that.
I remember I made this it wasyogurt recipe.
It was like this fresh yogurtrecipe made with full fat
coconut milk and for one servingof this yogurt, it was like a
thousand calories.
I'm like, how is this helpful?
Who is this helping?
This isn't helping anyone.
(20:51):
So hopefully this podcast helpssomeone let you guys know what I
didn't know.
I really went through itthrowing spaghetti at the wall.
Anyways, the MRT testing reallyhelped me.
Do the testing that is going tobe specific for your body.
Number one, prioritize that.
If you can't find a way toafford it, save your money.
(21:13):
It's worth it.
Health before wealth, always.
Health before anything, becauseif you don't have your health,
what do you have?
I promise it's probably gonna bethe thing.
That gets you better because itwas for me.
It was not the only thing but itwas one of the biggest things.
If you're not able to do itright away just cut out the
highly inflammatory foods likesoy gluten dairy corn cut those
(21:39):
out and you'll probably start tofeel a lot better really soon
another one of my root causeswas chronically high cortisol
levels.
Cortisol is a stress hormone andnothing created in the body is
good or bad, but too much ofanything is bad we have a
cortisol spike first thing inthe morning and that's important
(22:03):
to help us get up start our day.
It also is important because ifyou don't get that cortisol
spike in the morning you'regonna have trouble sleeping
later in the day that's why alot of people do cold showers in
the morning and exercise in themorning to get their cortisol up
so that it sets all the hormonesfor the day and the problem with
(22:25):
people that work shift work orthey work at night like they
work different schedules itdoesn't mean that you can't be
healthy, but you do have to bemore mindful and it doesn't
necessarily matter if you workat night and you sleep in during
the day.
It matters that you go to bed atthe same time or around the same
(22:48):
time every night and wake uparound the same time every day
so having these sleep cycles,these consistent sleep cycles
and prioritizing your sleep isso important because even if you
think, I don't have a verystressful life, I don't feel
stressed, I don't have highcortisol.
You may because one night of badsleep messes up your cortisol
(23:11):
for days, so it really justthrows everything off.
for me, prioritizing my sleepand finding ways to regulate and
reset my nervous system were soimportant.
My doctor introduced me tomeditation.
I never meditated before.
I had heard of it, but I wasn'treally like, I was like, nah,
(23:31):
not for me I thought that youhad to clear your mind and you
had to be a monk and theHimalayas or sit like with a
perfectly erect spine, with Idon't know, some kind of woo woo
granola thing and that's not itat all.
I think there's different typesof meditation, but the type I do
(23:53):
is transcendental meditation andI have a mantra and basically
you're sitting there, you justhave your back supported, your
head free, you can be likeleaning up against a chair, you
can just be relaxed.
It's, they kind of joke.
That it's the lazy man'smeditation, thoughts are not the
(24:14):
enemy, thoughts are welcome tocome and go, just bring it back
to the mantra and as you're kindof holding onto this mantra in
your head, it almost kind offloats away and you're able to
just get into this kind of zenstate where you're accessing
(24:34):
alpha brainwaves and It's hardto explain, but it's very
peaceful and actually meditatingfor 15 minutes gives you five
times deeper rest for your bodythan sleeping for an hour,
taking an hour nap.
So if you're tired, meditate.
(24:56):
If you're stressed, meditate.
If you're overwhelmed, meditate.
Honestly, meditating twice a dayor even just once a day, if you
can't fit in twice a day, hashelped me so much.
I feel like I'm a better personwhen I'm meditating regularly.
I have more adaptable energy, Idon't get triggered as quickly.
(25:20):
I feel like the space betweenreacting is longer.
I almost feel like It'sautomatic for me.
If something happens, I'm ableto think of the response that I
need in order to get the outcomethat I want, but I don't even
have to think about it.
It's just my brain works so muchbetter since meditating we go to
(25:41):
the gym to work out our bodies.
Meditating is giving your bodyrest while you're working out
your mind.
After I'm done meditating, mybody just feels so calm.
My nervous system feels sogrounded and relaxed.
I do this first thing in themorning.
It's part of my morning routine.
(26:03):
I didn't have a morning routinebefore I got sick.
I feel like I would just wake upand just kind of do whatever and
start my day.
That was another thing too thatwas monumental in my healing.
I know everyone thinks they'resuper busy or that they're just
not a rigid routine person.
I'm very go with the flow.
(26:24):
I'm very into cycling.
With your hormones and, everyday, especially as a woman, we
feel different, but having amorning routine and an evening
routine, it doesn't need to besomething that's super long just
a few things every day that helpyou feel grounded and centered.
It just sets up your day to bemore productive I implemented a
(26:48):
morning routine where I wouldwake up, I drink a lemon water,
lemon helps with thyroid hormoneabsorption.
That's why people say it'sreally good to take your
medication in the morning on anempty stomach, 30 minutes to an
hour before caffeine or foodwith lemon water because it
helps the medication absorbbetter it is important.
(27:10):
not eating or drinking coffeefor an hour or at least 30
minutes after you take yourmedication because it does
interact and it won't absorb aswell and you're gonna feel the
effects.
I started with this routine, andthen I would meditate for 15
minutes.
I used the Ziva technique, forthose of you that have heard of
(27:31):
it, Emily Fletcher came up withit.
She's amazing.
I'm obsessed with her.
I read her book.
I did her online program.
I listened to her podcast.
I follow her.
She's doing amazing work.
Her new stuff, is incredible.
I am very much into sacredsexual healing, and we'll talk
(27:53):
about this on another podcast, Ilove how conscious she is and
the attention she's bringing tothese different modalities that
haven't been brought up as muchinto the public space I just
think it's incredible and I'mreally excited to learn more
about it.
I will do meditation for 15minutes, and then I usually like
(28:14):
to journal after.
I know there's differentjournals with prompts and stuff.
It's really kind of up to you,but I just love to free write.
I'm a writer for sure.
I want to write a book one day Ifeel like, people can give you
advice.
You can go to therapy.
I think there's space and timefor all of these things, but for
(28:34):
me personally, I'll never acceptadvice or feel as validated by
something than something I tellmyself.
So if I'm journaling and I havean epiphany or I finally get
some clarity around something,It doesn't click the same way as
if someone else told it to me.
(28:56):
There's just something aboutwriting out your thoughts I feel
like i'm in my head so much andI talk to myself.
It's fine but when i'm writingmy thoughts I just am able to
channel and just flows out of meand maybe not everyone is like
this, but I think it's, worthtrying and I think anyone can
(29:17):
get something out of journaling.
After that, I usually like to gofor a walk and get some
sunshine.
I love listening to podcastswhile I'm walking or I'll do
some yoga or some other workoutand that's usually how I start
my day.
You can modify it, make itshorter, longer, do more things.
The things that helped me themost were figuring out my food
(29:38):
sensitivities, getting mycortisol under control, I did
that mostly by meditation twicea day, and prioritizing my sleep
schedule, and, figuring out thetoxic mold, the morning routine
kind of just helped me keep allof this in check, and it's
really a lifestyle change whenyou're going through something
(29:59):
like this.
As difficult as my journey hasbeen, I'm really grateful
because I'm a completelydifferent person than I was
before I got sick.
I heard this recently on apodcast that, the universe or
god or goddess tries to get ourattention and we work through
(30:22):
stuff spiritually and that's thefastest way and if you're not
listening then you know you haveto work through it mentally,
through therapy and then ifyou're still not listening, then
you have to work throughsomething physically, and that
takes longer.
It's more painful, usually asdisease or god forbid cancer, I
(30:44):
really do believe it.
I feel like the universe orwhoever is going to keep pushing
us until it finally gets ourattention.
It's actually crazy if I thinkabout the things that led up to,
my disease manifesting.
Autoimmunity is your bodyattacking itself in some way so
(31:09):
Your body is making antibodiesand fighting itself.
I've heard this once that youdon't like yourself, so your
body starts attacking yourself.
Stress and trauma can manifestin the body so many different
ways.
There's a link between assaultabuse and chronic disease and
(31:33):
autoimmune disease.
There is one thing aboutautoimmune diseases or in
Hashimoto's in particular, thatis somewhat protective.
So, If we look through history,back during the potato famine, a
lot of people actually ended upgetting Hashimoto's and it was
(31:54):
protective because it was afamine and some of the symptoms
of Hashimoto's are yourmetabolism slows down so you
don't need to eat as much food,you're debilitatingly tired so
you don't use up as much energy,so a lot of the people that
survived the famine wereactually People that got this
(32:15):
disease, so It's protective inthat way.
The world that these peoplelived in became unsafe and so
this disease was protectivebecause it brought these people
into the house and kept them inthe house safe because they were
so tired.
They were so sick they didn'thave the energy to be out.
(32:38):
It's interesting the connectionbetween stuff going on in your
external world and your internalworld.
When I got sick and before I gotsick, I didn't feel like the
world was a safe place for me.
I didn't feel like I could trustanybody.
I had a really negative viewsabout the world and I feel like
(33:00):
that manifested in my body asthis disease that Kept me inside
So i'll speak about this onanother episode, but When I was
in college, I was sexuallyassaulted and then I was
actually physically assaultedsix months later by the same guy
and his friends and it was verytraumatic.
(33:21):
It changed the trajectory of therest of my life.
I feel like I'm still dealingwith the repercussions sometimes
when I'm in crowded areas or I'moverstimulated, my nervous
system starts to get into thisfight or flight.
(33:44):
I don't know how many of youhave read the body keeps the
score, but you hold thesememories and this trauma in your
body and when something comes upthat seems familiar to what
happened, your body reacts.
I remember I stopped going outfor a long time after this
(34:06):
happened.
I really started to developsocial anxiety and that was like
a whole nother thing.
Healing emotionally from chronicdisease.
And...
The whole process of that,because when you're sick like
this, it really starts to becomepart of your identity.
You are the sick girl, and youfeel like a burden on others,
(34:31):
it's a lot.
The correlation between, sexualtrauma or abuse in general and
these diseases.
There's so much research outthere between the connection and
it's actually very common thelikelihood of someone who's been
assaulted or abused to developan autoimmune disease or a
(34:52):
chronic disease.
There's this modality that I'velearned a little bit about.
I definitely want to dive deeperinto it.
It's...
German new medicine and theytalk about the connection
between trauma response andemotional distress and how it
manifests in the body as diseasewith what happened with me I
(35:16):
don't think it's a coincidencethat after I was attacked and I
tried to report the incident Ifelt like my voice wasn't heard
and I felt shut down this is whyvictims don't report stuff and I
just felt like he got away withit.
My voice didn't matter whathappened to me didn't matter the
(35:40):
world wasn't safe, no one had myback I feel like I had a blocked
throat chakra and then I endedup with the disease in my
throat.
This is a big part of, why I gotinto spirituality and learning
about these things and healingmy body because I feel like so
many people have trauma, maybenot as extreme as what happened
(36:04):
to me, but even just childhoodtrauma or trauma from
relationships or just anythingreally.
It can manifest in the body inso many different ways.
If we're not working on healingourselves, it's going to come up
at some point.
That's why I really want tospeak out about this and the
(36:25):
connection and just give alittle bit more exposure to this
topic because I just really feelit can help so many people.
For those of you that don't knowabout the chakra system, we can
talk about it a little bit thechakra system is an ancient
system, it's basically energycenters that run down your
(36:49):
spine, when different chakrasare blocked, or not aligned.
You can feel this as illnessanxiety or disease so many
different things.
It's important to keep theseopen and aligned and you can do
this through meditation, yoga,through music.
There's so many different waysand I'm sure we'll get into it
(37:11):
in future episodes, but I justthink it's so interesting.
when certain chakras are blockedand how it manifests.
For me, it was a thyroidproblem.
For someone else, it could besomething else.
Another thing that was reallyhelpful for me was cleaning up
(37:33):
my house.
I cleaned up my diet, I got ridof all the foods I was reactive
to, and all the chemicals in mypersonal care products that I
was reactive to, and it is alot, it's hard work because we
don't live in the cleanest worldthese days, but fortunately,
there's so many amazing cleanproducts out there, I don't want
(37:56):
to get on a soapbox but there'sso many things that are legal in
America to put in our productsand put in our food that are not
legal in other countries.
It's really up to us to be moreproactive and aware and educated
on what we put in our body andon our body.
It's crazy how many people don'trealize that what you put on
(38:20):
your skin is just as importantas what you put inside your
body.
At least when you're consumingfood there are other things
working in your body to take outthe toxins before it gets in
your bloodstream but if you rubsomething on your skin, there's
there's nothing stopping it.
(38:41):
It goes straight into yourbloodstream, so you can almost
have a worse reaction fromsomething that you're sensitive
to or allergic to.
I'll definitely have an episodededicated to clean beauty and
clean household products It'sgreat that people are more
educated these days and moreexcited and consumers are
(39:02):
investing their dollars to makechange and we're getting better
products on the market one thingI do love and is really helpful
is the EWG app you can downloadit on your phone and you can
look up different products andsee what their rating is whether
it's rated really clean and thenit'll show you like the worst
(39:23):
the worst products.
You can also scan the barcode alot of times right at the store
and it'll tell you whether ornot It's a safe product for you
and your family.
So that is a really goodfeature.
Highly recommend One thing mydoctor told me is that all
diseased really stems fromautoimmunity I feel like in
(39:45):
today's world when we'rechronically inflamed and
chronically ill because of thefood or the lifestyle we have.
It's so hard sometimes to knowwhat's going on with us because
the symptoms are just so vague.
I would have heart palpitationsand cognitive problems.
(40:05):
I remember one time I waswatching TV with my boyfriend we
were watching a show and I wasembarrassed.
I didn't want to tell him that Ihad to re watch it later when I
was feeling better because Icouldn't understand what was
going on in the show and forsomeone that's been relatively
healthy and takes care ofherself my whole life, it was
(40:27):
really scary to be having theseproblems.
I remember one day I woke up andthere was blood on my pillow, I
was bleeding from my ears andit's just...
so scary when you know you don'tknow what's wrong with you and
you feel like your body'sbetraying you I had memory
problems.
I had muscle wasting at onepoint.
(40:50):
I lost 12 pounds of musclethat's another symptom of being
sick, you're unable to put onmuscle and fat goes up and it's
so hard to lose weight,especially with thyroid
problems.
If you are a man or a woman withthyroid problems, it really
affects everything.
It affects your hormones.
It affects your psychologically.
(41:12):
So many people are misdiagnosedwith a psychological disorder
when really they just havethyroid problems.
That's another thing I'm verypassionate about I love the
holistic psychologist onInstagram.
That's her username.
I love her books, I love herwork.
She was a traditionalpsychologist for years and she
(41:35):
talks about how people aremisdiagnosed all the time just
because, they are just nothealed.
They're overworked, they'redepressed because they're barely
able to make ends meet or theyhave some other health problem
going on and so much is justoverlooked.
So much is just over prescribedand it really is an epidemic and
(41:58):
it's up to us and people like methat can share their stories and
help educate people and peoplebeing curious about their own
health and wanting to takeaction and not take a back seat
and wait until they get to thepoint where they're
debilitatingly sick.
Luckily I had a very flexiblejob at the time and I had an
(42:19):
amazing boyfriend that was verysupportive he really helped make
sure I got the help that Ineeded and connected me to the
right people and just held somuch space for me.
I never felt like a burden.
He always made me feel beautifuleven when I didn't.
I think having someone in yourcorner like that is so important
(42:40):
I'll always be really grateful.
I talked about so much on thisepisode and there's definitely
more I can get into and more Iwant to touch upon in future
episodes.
I feel like people that havegone through this know what I'm
talking about and people thatare going through this.
(43:01):
There's so much more nuanced andjust assimilating back into
normal life after going throughsomething like this because I'm
not the person I was before Igot sick I'm not the person I
was when I was sick and figuringout who that person is now is
It's a journey in itself and Ican't wait to get into it on
(43:24):
future episodes and thank youguys so much for listening.
I appreciate all of you and sendyou my love.
Hey guys, thanks so much forlistening.
If you enjoyed today's episode,remember to comment, like, and
subscribe.
Share it with your friends.
It really does help me.
You can also go to my website atbecomingsunshine.
(43:47):
com and subscribe to mynewsletter.
You can support the podcastthere.
Thanks again.
I appreciate you guys so muchand we'll talk soon.
Bye!
With what happened with me I don't think it's a
coincidence that after I wasattacked and I tried to report
the incident I felt like myvoice wasn't heard and I felt
shut down this is why victimsdon't report stuff and I just
felt like he got away with it myvoice didn't matter what
(00:23):
happened to me didn't matter theworld wasn't safe, no one had my
back I feel like I had a blockedthroat chakra and then I ended
up with the disease in my throatThis is a big part of, why I got
into spirituality and learningabout these things and healing
my body because I feel like somany people have trauma, maybe
(00:47):
not as extreme as what happenedto me, but even just childhood
trauma or trauma fromrelationships or just anything
really.
It can manifest in the body inso many different ways.
If we're not working on healingourselves, it's going to come up
at some point.
(01:10):
Welcome to Becoming Sunshine,for those of you that know me,
you know that sunshine has beenan alias of mine for almost a
decade now, and sunshine also isme becoming my highest self, and
that's what this podcast isabout.
I'm here to help you understandyourself better, and maybe learn
(01:30):
some more about myself along theway.
Thanks so much for joining me,I'm excited.
Hey guys, it's Madeline.
I just wanted to come on heretoday and talk about my journey
with chronic disease and howit's changed my life I feel like
so many of my friends right noware going through something
(01:53):
really similar that I wentthrough a few years ago and I
realized that There's just not alot of information out there or
a lot of false information andthings just aren't accessible.
I feel like when I first gotsick, I didn't even know I was
sick and I think that's the sameboat a lot of people are in and
(02:15):
then I was misdiagnosed for awhile, I feel like a lot of my
friends are going through thatand when I finally got the right
care, I did a deep dive intobooks and online workshops and
everything I learned everythingI could about my disease and
either people just don't havethe same resources as me or they
(02:38):
just don't have the time or theyjust can't dive that deep into
it.
So, I wanted to take some of theknowledge that I had and some of
the things that worked for meand share that with everyone.
This all started early in my20s.
I feel like most of my 20s.
(03:00):
I was unwell when I was incollege my stomach always hurt.
I was always bloated I feel likeno matter how hard I worked out.
I just never thought I wouldhave a flat stomach because It
was just always bloated I didn'tunderstand why when I was 21, I
(03:22):
actually had to go to theemergency room because I had
such bad stomach pains and Iended up having five times the
normal amount of air in mystomach and I started throwing
up, like it was, it washorrible, just not knowing what
was wrong with my body for solong.
I remember I would try to dojuice cleanses and that was the
(03:45):
only way my stomach would stophurting.
I think fasting is a really goodway to give your body time to
heal.
I actually did some fastinglater in my health journey.
My doctor recommended it, butearly on before I started seeing
a functional medicinepractitioner, I would just do
juice cleanses to try to getsome kind of relief.
(04:09):
I'm not saying juice cleansesare bad, but I just don't know
if they're for everyone.
I feel like it really depends onyour hormones in general when
you're fasting.
I also think that drinking abunch of sugar usually isn't
helpful.
It just spikes your...
blood sugar and makes you feellightheaded.
I'm not a big juice cleanse fanI feel like if you're gonna fast
(04:32):
fast, but I'm not a huge fan ofjuice cleanses but that's just
my own opinion.
I'm not a doctor Everyone hastheir own experience, and again
it depends on your genderdepends on where your your
hormone cycle It depends on alot of things and just where
your health is that at the time?
In my early 20s, I had stomachproblems on and off for years.
(04:57):
My stomach always hurt.
I feel like as time went by, Ijust seemed to get worse and
worse.
There was less stuff I felt Iwas able to eat without having
discomfort.
Then the summer of 2018, I wentto a 4th of July party and
shared drinks with people andended up getting mono.
(05:18):
For those of you that have heardof mono, it's nicknamed, the
kissing disease.
I didn't even kiss anyone, so Ididn't even get it a fun way.
Anyways, after that I don't knowany of you that have ever had
mono, but you're basically sickfor months, you have no energy,
and that specific virus actuallyis a known trigger.
(05:43):
for my autoimmune disease andfor several other ones.
In order for an autoimmunedisease to manifest in the body,
you typically need three things.
You need to have leaky gut, youneed to have, chronic
inflammation usually from dietor whatever you have triggers
(06:04):
that are keeping you chronicallyinflamed and then usually
there'll be some kind ofcatalyst to set it off and just
to set everything in motion andfor me that was the monovirus
For those of you that don't knowwhat leaky gut is It's basically
when Gut lining is kind of likeSwiss cheese because of
(06:26):
inflammation and just otherthings that you're sensitive to
or allergic to that youshouldn't be eating proteins in
the food that you're eating areable to get through the gut
barrier into your bloodstreamand you're having an immune
reaction.
It's just sending signals inyour body to attack and it's
(06:49):
just it's not fun.
I got mono this summer of 2018and you are sick for a few
months, but it was just like Inever got better.
My conventional doctor at thetime told me that I would be
feeling really burnt out for afew months and then as time went
(07:09):
on, I noticed I wasn't gettingbetter.
And so...
I got some blood work done andshe told me I had
hypothyroidism, for those of youthat don't know, hypothyroidism
is low thyroid hormone, so I washypothyroid but what my doctor
had missed was that it was dueto an autoimmune disease,
(07:32):
Hashimoto's thyroiditis withoutmaking that connection, you're
not really healing or addressingthe root problem, you're just
addressing the low thyroidhormone, and majority of the
time low thyroid is caused byHashimoto's.
(07:52):
So, for those of you that findout you have low thyroid, you
might wanna double check andmake sure that you don't have
Hashimoto's, because, if you'renot addressing the main issue,
your body is just going tocontinue to attack itself until
your thyroid is destroyed and,then you won't have any hormone
being made.
(08:13):
So, it's definitely important tohave that addressed and make
sure that you're actuallygetting the help that you need
and you're not just putting abandaid on the problem.
I think that's the problem witha lot of conventional medicine
these days.
It's not necessarily thedoctor's fault.
I think it's just the way ourhealthcare system is set up and
not to go off on a tangent, butthere are so many problems with
(08:36):
it.
it's not any one thing, there'sso many people that need care
and the doctors don't have thetime that they really need to
give the attention that everypatient needs to make sure that
they are addressing the realissue and they're not just
looking at a problem in a vacuumand they're looking at the
person as a whole and that's whyI really like functional
(08:59):
medicine and more holisticmedicine My conventional doctor
at the time first put me onlevothyroxine.
Levothyroxine is a type ofthyroid medication.
I feel like it's one of thefirst ones that's prescribed,
which to me seems kind of sillybecause Levothyroxine only has
(09:21):
T4 in it.
It doesn't have the active formof thyroid hormone, so There's
T3 and T4 T3 is the active formof thyroid hormone, T4 is
inactive and it is made activein the gut and in the liver, but
If you're chronically inflamed,more than likely you're having
(09:43):
problems with your gut and yourliver, and your body isn't able
to properly turn T4 into T3, soit kind of makes the medicine
obsolete.
It doesn't really work, sothat's what was happening to me.
I was taking this medicationevery day.
I wasn't feeling any better.
My Free t3 and my t3 levels werestill very low and I was gaining
(10:10):
weight my hair was falling out.
I had no energy.
I was debilitatingly fatigued Ihad skin issues.
I had stomach problems.
I was starting to have cognitiveproblems it was just getting
worse and worse for me andfortunately the guy I was
(10:32):
started dating at the time hewas seeing this functional
medicine doctor for his own,chronic condition and he
introduced me to my doctor whosaved my life and I don't say
that lightly.
He really did save my life and Ican't recommend him enough.
A few of my friends actuallystarted going to him and have
(10:54):
had amazing results, and they'vetold me that they feel like new
people.
Honestly, I feel like he's moreof a friend these days than a
doctor.
He just really cares about hispatients and he's just such a
good person and really caresabout his craft.
When you find good people inyour life that not only want to
help you with your health, butwant to help you in general,
make sure that you're your bestself and want to see good things
(11:17):
for you.
I love that so much.
I think that's so special andrare to find in a practitioner
Anyways, I started working withmy functional medicine doctor
back in 2019.
Functional medicine looks atyour body as a whole.
It doesn't, again, look at aproblem in a vacuum.
It considers the mind, body, andthe spirit.
(11:39):
When I first went to myfunctional medicine doctor, I
had to fill out this long intakeform and honestly, I feel like
sometimes he knows me betterthan I know myself.
He knows about all my history,past trauma.
Past health records, just sothorough, so amazing.
I remember he told me he spentfour hours prepping my chart,
(12:03):
and I just feel like that kindof attention to detail is really
unheard of in healthcare thesedays, I'm so grateful.
During our first consultation,he spent two hours explaining
everything to me and breakingeverything down for me up until
this point, I had gonemisdiagnosed and I was treated
incorrectly.
(12:24):
I don't mean I was treatedpoorly, my symptoms were not
treated correctly and the rootproblems were not treated
correctly for my autoimmunedisease in particular, there's
so many different triggers thatyou can possibly have,I ended up
doing a lot of testing and Ifound that there was toxic mold
in my system which is somethingthat is very common,
(12:48):
unfortunately, and it can leadto so many problems in the body.
One of the main things thathelped me was doing MRT testing.
MRT testing is a patentedsensitivity test.
It's different from a lot of theother tests I've seen on
Instagram or something.
(13:09):
I'm not here to say that thosearen't helpful or that they
don't work but this one ispatented and it's for different
types of antibodies.
It doesn't just test for food.
It also tests for commonchemicals and other ingredients
in personal care products oreven food coloring It's really
thorough.
When you get your results youhave a sliding scale of
(13:34):
reactivity it'll show you thethings that you're not reactive
to and then it'll show thingsthat you're mildly reactive to
more reactive to and the mostthings that you should avoid in
your diet, it was crazy when Ifound out some of the stuff that
I was allergic and sensitive toI was super sensitive to
(13:55):
turmeric, which I was eating ona daily basis at the time, it's
in so many wellness and healthproducts, and it's great for
most people, but again what'sgood for you might not be good
for me, and what's healthy forsome might not be healthy for
someone else.
That's why I don't believe in aone size fits all diet or the
(14:18):
diet that everyone should be on.
I remember earlier in my 20s, Itried all the diets.
Paleo for years, which honestly,I think, led to a lot of my
problems because I had a lot ofnutrient deficiencies.
That is also one of my rootcauses.
I was really low in B vitaminsand A lot of B vitamins are in
(14:39):
grains so if you're paleo,you're not getting these B
vitamins that give you energyand make you feel good.
Honestly, if you're notsensitive or allergic to
something and you enjoy it,everything in moderation is
fine, I think when we have theserestrictive diets, it leads to
deficiencies and, eatingdisorders, which I also have
(14:59):
struggled with.
When I was in my early 20s, andthis was right before I started
to get really, really sick, Iwas actually, training to do a
bikini competition.
I was at the gym five or sixdays a week, lifting weights
like two hours a day on a veryregimen restricted diet.
(15:21):
It's almost laughable nowthinking of the diet that I used
to eat.
It was like ground turkey andbroccoli and like all these
things and I'm actually allergicto all those things.
So of course my stomach washurting and of course I was
bloated and of course I waschronically inflamed.
I was eating stuff on a dailybasis, the same stuff over and
over again, and I was allergicto it.
(15:41):
I've also read that if you eatthe same foods often it's more
likely that you will becomesensitive to them.
That's why It's good to rotateyour food and eat seasonally I
never realized how importantthis was I actually went to
school and learned aboutnutrition in college and we
never learned about any of thisstuff.
(16:03):
It's just kind of funny.
I know way more useful stuff nowthan I honestly learned in
college, but it's okay who usestheir degree anyways, right?
I don't know.
It's important to eat what makesyou feel good and not be
restrictive.
MRT testing was one of thegreatest things for me.
(16:23):
It was monumental in my healing.
So, you get this long list ofall the foods and chemicals
you're reactive to, and youactually get a reintroduction
schedule how to rotate your foodback in the ones that you can
eat, based on reactivity, andYou get this little card.
(16:47):
It's laminated my friends kindof teased me a little bit, but
this this is like this is thething you get this little
laminated card and it has yourname the name of your doctor the
day of the test It's color codedand it has all of your yellows
and all of your reds so all ofthe foods or chemicals that
(17:08):
you're moderately and highlyreactive to on this little card
that would fit in your wallet orwould fit in your purse.
I love to eat I love to go outto eat you look at the menu and
not all the ingredients arelisted the oils aren't listed
the marinades aren't listed sowhen you have this little card,
you give it to the waitress.
They give it to the chef there'sno miscommunication.
(17:29):
They know all about yourallergies and you can have peace
of mind knowing that your foodthat you're about to eat is safe
I feel like that was one of thebiggest things I love to travel
and I actually stopped travelingfor a while because it wasn't
fun for me anymore because mystomach always hurt my clothes
didn't fit I was miserablebecause I would go to
(17:51):
restaurants.
I would eat at places I wasn'tused to eating at and I would be
sick and no one wants to be sickon a trip no one wants to be
sick on vacation so it kind oftook the joy out of it for a
while for me I made like 20copies.
They're in every bag everypocket every everything that I
have my friends all have a copyof it on their phone saved.
(18:14):
It's kind of funny, but that wasone of the most helpful things
one of my root causes was myfood sensitivities.
I have quite a few and beingvery strict with my diet, I
don't mean strict like I don'teat sweets or whatever, but not
eating any of these things onthis card anymore really helped
(18:35):
me get into remission.
It took two years I didn't takethis test right away.
I was doing other testing butonce I did implement these
restrictions into my diet and Iwas, very strict it changed my
whole life.
I did a lot of elimination dietswhen I was sick I did the
(18:56):
autoimmune protocol.
It's very strict it was helpfuland I would recommend it, but
personally, I don't think it'sas helpful as MRT testing
because it's not specific to youand your blood.
I think the best diet is goingto be the one that's specific to
you, not one that someone elsecame up with.
(19:19):
If you don't have the resourcesto get this testing done because
it is expensive, I wouldrecommend elimination diets.
I would recommend the AIP diet,but one thing that I did notice
about the AIP diet is that it isnot the most calorically
friendly, which I think is alittle bit ironic considering
(19:41):
one of the main qualms I hadwith Hashimoto's is the weight
gain, especially for a woman, Iwas probably 30 pounds heavier
than I am now and as a woman,that is just soul crushing to
just feel not yourself, to feelnot beautiful, to feel like your
(20:06):
body is betraying you.
no matter what you do, there'snothing you can do to get this
weight off.
At one point I had threedifferent trainers.
I was on very strict diets.
I I was trying everything, sosad anyways, that is one thing
that I did notice, and becareful with these AIP cookbooks
and these other cookbooks,because they are not necessarily
(20:30):
calorically friendly and,calorie mindful so remember
that.
I remember I made this it wasyogurt recipe.
It was like this fresh yogurtrecipe made with full fat
coconut milk and for one servingof this yogurt, it was like a
thousand calories.
I'm like, how is this helpful?
Who is this helping?
This isn't helping anyone.
(20:51):
So hopefully this podcast helpssomeone let you guys know what I
didn't know.
I really went through itthrowing spaghetti at the wall.
Anyways, the MRT testing reallyhelped me.
Do the testing that is going tobe specific for your body.
Number one, prioritize that.
If you can't find a way toafford it, save your money.
(21:13):
It's worth it.
Health before wealth, always.
Health before anything, becauseif you don't have your health,
what do you have?
I promise it's probably gonna bethe thing.
That gets you better because itwas for me.
It was not the only thing but itwas one of the biggest things.
If you're not able to do itright away just cut out the
highly inflammatory foods likesoy gluten dairy corn cut those
(21:39):
out and you'll probably start tofeel a lot better really soon
another one of my root causeswas chronically high cortisol
levels.
Cortisol is a stress hormone andnothing created in the body is
good or bad, but too much ofanything is bad we have a
cortisol spike first thing inthe morning and that's important
(22:03):
to help us get up start our day.
It also is important because ifyou don't get that cortisol
spike in the morning you'regonna have trouble sleeping
later in the day that's why alot of people do cold showers in
the morning and exercise in themorning to get their cortisol up
so that it sets all the hormonesfor the day and the problem with
(22:25):
people that work shift work orthey work at night like they
work different schedules itdoesn't mean that you can't be
healthy, but you do have to bemore mindful and it doesn't
necessarily matter if you workat night and you sleep in during
the day.
It matters that you go to bed atthe same time or around the same
(22:48):
time every night and wake uparound the same time every day
so having these sleep cycles,these consistent sleep cycles
and prioritizing your sleep isso important because even if you
think, I don't have a verystressful life, I don't feel
stressed, I don't have highcortisol.
You may because one night of badsleep messes up your cortisol
(23:11):
for days, so it really justthrows everything off.
for me, prioritizing my sleepand finding ways to regulate and
reset my nervous system were soimportant.
My doctor introduced me tomeditation.
I never meditated before.
I had heard of it, but I wasn'treally like, I was like, nah,
(23:31):
not for me I thought that youhad to clear your mind and you
had to be a monk and theHimalayas or sit like with a
perfectly erect spine, with Idon't know, some kind of woo woo
granola thing and that's not itat all.
I think there's different typesof meditation, but the type I do
(23:53):
is transcendental meditation andI have a mantra and basically
you're sitting there, you justhave your back supported, your
head free, you can be likeleaning up against a chair, you
can just be relaxed.
It's, they kind of joke.
That it's the lazy man'smeditation, thoughts are not the
(24:14):
enemy, thoughts are welcome tocome and go, just bring it back
to the mantra and as you're kindof holding onto this mantra in
your head, it almost kind offloats away and you're able to
just get into this kind of zenstate where you're accessing
(24:34):
alpha brainwaves and It's hardto explain, but it's very
peaceful and actually meditatingfor 15 minutes gives you five
times deeper rest for your bodythan sleeping for an hour,
taking an hour nap.
So if you're tired, meditate.
(24:56):
If you're stressed, meditate.
If you're overwhelmed, meditate.
Honestly, meditating twice a dayor even just once a day, if you
can't fit in twice a day, hashelped me so much.
I feel like I'm a better personwhen I'm meditating regularly.
I have more adaptable energy, Idon't get triggered as quickly.
(25:20):
I feel like the space betweenreacting is longer.
I almost feel like It'sautomatic for me.
If something happens, I'm ableto think of the response that I
need in order to get the outcomethat I want, but I don't even
have to think about it.
It's just my brain works so muchbetter since meditating we go to
(25:41):
the gym to work out our bodies.
Meditating is giving your bodyrest while you're working out
your mind.
After I'm done meditating, mybody just feels so calm.
My nervous system feels sogrounded and relaxed.
I do this first thing in themorning.
It's part of my morning routine.
(26:03):
I didn't have a morning routinebefore I got sick.
I feel like I would just wake upand just kind of do whatever and
start my day.
That was another thing too thatwas monumental in my healing.
I know everyone thinks they'resuper busy or that they're just
not a rigid routine person.
I'm very go with the flow.
(26:24):
I'm very into cycling.
With your hormones and, everyday, especially as a woman, we
feel different, but having amorning routine and an evening
routine, it doesn't need to besomething that's super long just
a few things every day that helpyou feel grounded and centered.
It just sets up your day to bemore productive I implemented a
(26:48):
morning routine where I wouldwake up, I drink a lemon water,
lemon helps with thyroid hormoneabsorption.
That's why people say it'sreally good to take your
medication in the morning on anempty stomach, 30 minutes to an
hour before caffeine or foodwith lemon water because it
helps the medication absorbbetter it is important.
(27:10):
not eating or drinking coffeefor an hour or at least 30
minutes after you take yourmedication because it does
interact and it won't absorb aswell and you're gonna feel the
effects.
I started with this routine, andthen I would meditate for 15
minutes.
I used the Ziva technique, forthose of you that have heard of
(27:31):
it, Emily Fletcher came up withit.
She's amazing.
I'm obsessed with her.
I read her book.
I did her online program.
I listened to her podcast.
I follow her.
She's doing amazing work.
Her new stuff, is incredible.
I am very much into sacredsexual healing, and we'll talk
(27:53):
about this on another podcast, Ilove how conscious she is and
the attention she's bringing tothese different modalities that
haven't been brought up as muchinto the public space I just
think it's incredible and I'mreally excited to learn more
about it.
I will do meditation for 15minutes, and then I usually like
(28:14):
to journal after.
I know there's differentjournals with prompts and stuff.
It's really kind of up to you,but I just love to free write.
I'm a writer for sure.
I want to write a book one day Ifeel like, people can give you
advice.
You can go to therapy.
I think there's space and timefor all of these things, but for
(28:34):
me personally, I'll never acceptadvice or feel as validated by
something than something I tellmyself.
So if I'm journaling and I havean epiphany or I finally get
some clarity around something,It doesn't click the same way as
if someone else told it to me.
(28:56):
There's just something aboutwriting out your thoughts I feel
like i'm in my head so much andI talk to myself.
It's fine but when i'm writingmy thoughts I just am able to
channel and just flows out of meand maybe not everyone is like
this, but I think it's, worthtrying and I think anyone can
(29:17):
get something out of journaling.
After that, I usually like to gofor a walk and get some
sunshine.
I love listening to podcastswhile I'm walking or I'll do
some yoga or some other workoutand that's usually how I start
my day.
You can modify it, make itshorter, longer, do more things.
The things that helped me themost were figuring out my food
(29:38):
sensitivities, getting mycortisol under control, I did
that mostly by meditation twicea day, and prioritizing my sleep
schedule, and, figuring out thetoxic mold, the morning routine
kind of just helped me keep allof this in check, and it's
really a lifestyle change whenyou're going through something
(29:59):
like this.
As difficult as my journey hasbeen, I'm really grateful
because I'm a completelydifferent person than I was
before I got sick.
I heard this recently on apodcast that, the universe or
god or goddess tries to get ourattention and we work through
(30:22):
stuff spiritually and that's thefastest way and if you're not
listening then you know you haveto work through it mentally,
through therapy and then ifyou're still not listening, then
you have to work throughsomething physically, and that
takes longer.
It's more painful, usually asdisease or god forbid cancer, I
(30:44):
really do believe it.
I feel like the universe orwhoever is going to keep pushing
us until it finally gets ourattention.
It's actually crazy if I thinkabout the things that led up to,
my disease manifesting.
Autoimmunity is your bodyattacking itself in some way so
(31:09):
Your body is making antibodiesand fighting itself.
I've heard this once that youdon't like yourself, so your
body starts attacking yourself.
Stress and trauma can manifestin the body so many different
ways.
There's a link between assaultabuse and chronic disease and
(31:33):
autoimmune disease.
There is one thing aboutautoimmune diseases or in
Hashimoto's in particular, thatis somewhat protective.
So, If we look through history,back during the potato famine, a
lot of people actually ended upgetting Hashimoto's and it was
(31:54):
protective because it was afamine and some of the symptoms
of Hashimoto's are yourmetabolism slows down so you
don't need to eat as much food,you're debilitatingly tired so
you don't use up as much energy,so a lot of the people that
survived the famine wereactually People that got this
(32:15):
disease, so It's protective inthat way.
The world that these peoplelived in became unsafe and so
this disease was protectivebecause it brought these people
into the house and kept them inthe house safe because they were
so tired.
They were so sick they didn'thave the energy to be out.
(32:38):
It's interesting the connectionbetween stuff going on in your
external world and your internalworld.
When I got sick and before I gotsick, I didn't feel like the
world was a safe place for me.
I didn't feel like I could trustanybody.
I had a really negative viewsabout the world and I feel like
(33:00):
that manifested in my body asthis disease that Kept me inside
So i'll speak about this onanother episode, but When I was
in college, I was sexuallyassaulted and then I was
actually physically assaultedsix months later by the same guy
and his friends and it was verytraumatic.
(33:21):
It changed the trajectory of therest of my life.
I feel like I'm still dealingwith the repercussions sometimes
when I'm in crowded areas or I'moverstimulated, my nervous
system starts to get into thisfight or flight.
(33:44):
I don't know how many of youhave read the body keeps the
score, but you hold thesememories and this trauma in your
body and when something comes upthat seems familiar to what
happened, your body reacts.
I remember I stopped going outfor a long time after this
(34:06):
happened.
I really started to developsocial anxiety and that was like
a whole nother thing.
Healing emotionally from chronicdisease.
And...
The whole process of that,because when you're sick like
this, it really starts to becomepart of your identity.
You are the sick girl, and youfeel like a burden on others,
(34:31):
it's a lot.
The correlation between, sexualtrauma or abuse in general and
these diseases.
There's so much research outthere between the connection and
it's actually very common thelikelihood of someone who's been
assaulted or abused to developan autoimmune disease or a
(34:52):
chronic disease.
There's this modality that I'velearned a little bit about.
I definitely want to dive deeperinto it.
It's...
German new medicine and theytalk about the connection
between trauma response andemotional distress and how it
manifests in the body as diseasewith what happened with me I
(35:16):
don't think it's a coincidencethat after I was attacked and I
tried to report the incident Ifelt like my voice wasn't heard
and I felt shut down this is whyvictims don't report stuff and I
just felt like he got away withit.
My voice didn't matter whathappened to me didn't matter the
(35:40):
world wasn't safe, no one had myback I feel like I had a blocked
throat chakra and then I endedup with the disease in my
throat.
This is a big part of, why I gotinto spirituality and learning
about these things and healingmy body because I feel like so
many people have trauma, maybenot as extreme as what happened
(36:04):
to me, but even just childhoodtrauma or trauma from
relationships or just anythingreally.
It can manifest in the body inso many different ways.
If we're not working on healingourselves, it's going to come up
at some point.
That's why I really want tospeak out about this and the
(36:25):
connection and just give alittle bit more exposure to this
topic because I just really feelit can help so many people.
For those of you that don't knowabout the chakra system, we can
talk about it a little bit thechakra system is an ancient
system, it's basically energycenters that run down your
(36:49):
spine, when different chakrasare blocked, or not aligned.
You can feel this as illnessanxiety or disease so many
different things.
It's important to keep theseopen and aligned and you can do
this through meditation, yoga,through music.
There's so many different waysand I'm sure we'll get into it
(37:11):
in future episodes, but I justthink it's so interesting.
when certain chakras are blockedand how it manifests.
For me, it was a thyroidproblem.
For someone else, it could besomething else.
Another thing that was reallyhelpful for me was cleaning up
(37:33):
my house.
I cleaned up my diet, I got ridof all the foods I was reactive
to, and all the chemicals in mypersonal care products that I
was reactive to, and it is alot, it's hard work because we
don't live in the cleanest worldthese days, but fortunately,
there's so many amazing cleanproducts out there, I don't want
(37:56):
to get on a soapbox but there'sso many things that are legal in
America to put in our productsand put in our food that are not
legal in other countries.
It's really up to us to be moreproactive and aware and educated
on what we put in our body andon our body.
It's crazy how many people don'trealize that what you put on
(38:20):
your skin is just as importantas what you put inside your
body.
At least when you're consumingfood there are other things
working in your body to take outthe toxins before it gets in
your bloodstream but if you rubsomething on your skin, there's
there's nothing stopping it.
(38:41):
It goes straight into yourbloodstream, so you can almost
have a worse reaction fromsomething that you're sensitive
to or allergic to.
I'll definitely have an episodededicated to clean beauty and
clean household products It'sgreat that people are more
educated these days and moreexcited and consumers are
(39:02):
investing their dollars to makechange and we're getting better
products on the market one thingI do love and is really helpful
is the EWG app you can downloadit on your phone and you can
look up different products andsee what their rating is whether
it's rated really clean and thenit'll show you like the worst
(39:23):
the worst products.
You can also scan the barcode alot of times right at the store
and it'll tell you whether ornot It's a safe product for you
and your family.
So that is a really goodfeature.
Highly recommend One thing mydoctor told me is that all
diseased really stems fromautoimmunity I feel like in
(39:45):
today's world when we'rechronically inflamed and
chronically ill because of thefood or the lifestyle we have.
It's so hard sometimes to knowwhat's going on with us because
the symptoms are just so vague.
I would have heart palpitationsand cognitive problems.
(40:05):
I remember one time I waswatching TV with my boyfriend we
were watching a show and I wasembarrassed.
I didn't want to tell him that Ihad to re watch it later when I
was feeling better because Icouldn't understand what was
going on in the show and forsomeone that's been relatively
healthy and takes care ofherself my whole life, it was
(40:27):
really scary to be having theseproblems.
I remember one day I woke up andthere was blood on my pillow, I
was bleeding from my ears andit's just...
so scary when you know you don'tknow what's wrong with you and
you feel like your body'sbetraying you I had memory
problems.
I had muscle wasting at onepoint.
(40:50):
I lost 12 pounds of musclethat's another symptom of being
sick, you're unable to put onmuscle and fat goes up and it's
so hard to lose weight,especially with thyroid
problems.
If you are a man or a woman withthyroid problems, it really
affects everything.
It affects your hormones.
It affects your psychologically.
(41:12):
So many people are misdiagnosedwith a psychological disorder
when really they just havethyroid problems.
That's another thing I'm verypassionate about I love the
holistic psychologist onInstagram.
That's her username.
I love her books, I love herwork.
She was a traditionalpsychologist for years and she
(41:35):
talks about how people aremisdiagnosed all the time just
because, they are just nothealed.
They're overworked, they'redepressed because they're barely
able to make ends meet or theyhave some other health problem
going on and so much is justoverlooked.
So much is just over prescribedand it really is an epidemic and
(41:58):
it's up to us and people like methat can share their stories and
help educate people and peoplebeing curious about their own
health and wanting to takeaction and not take a back seat
and wait until they get to thepoint where they're
debilitatingly sick.
Luckily I had a very flexiblejob at the time and I had an
(42:19):
amazing boyfriend that was verysupportive he really helped make
sure I got the help that Ineeded and connected me to the
right people and just held somuch space for me.
I never felt like a burden.
He always made me feel beautifuleven when I didn't.
I think having someone in yourcorner like that is so important
(42:40):
I'll always be really grateful.
I talked about so much on thisepisode and there's definitely
more I can get into and more Iwant to touch upon in future
episodes.
I feel like people that havegone through this know what I'm
talking about and people thatare going through this.
(43:01):
There's so much more nuanced andjust assimilating back into
normal life after going throughsomething like this because I'm
not the person I was before Igot sick I'm not the person I
was when I was sick and figuringout who that person is now is
It's a journey in itself and Ican't wait to get into it on
(43:24):
future episodes and thank youguys so much for listening.
I appreciate all of you and sendyou my love.
Hey guys, thanks so much forlistening.
If you enjoyed today's episode,remember to comment, like, and
subscribe.
Share it with your friends.
It really does help me.
You can also go to my website atbecomingsunshine.
(43:47):
com and subscribe to mynewsletter.
You can support the podcastthere.
Thanks again.
I appreciate you guys so muchand we'll talk soon.
Bye!
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