8. Embracing Sacred Pauses: Finding Growth in Stillness

Episode Transcript
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Madeline (00:00):
Welcome to Becoming Sunshine.
For those of you that know me,you know that sunshine has been
an alias of mine for almost adecade now and sunshine also is
me becoming my highest self andthat's what this podcast is
about.
I'm here to help you understandyourself better and maybe learn

(00:21):
some more about myself along theway.
Thanks so much for joining me,I'm excited.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to becomingsunshine.
today I want to talk aboutsomething that I like to call
taking a sacred pause.
Sometimes the universe forces usto take breaks when we're not

(00:42):
doing it ourselves, and itdoesn't always happen at the
most convenient times.
I feel like these brakes arevital and they act sometimes as
an incubator for our evolution.
I'm sure everybody's heard thisbefore, or you know, if you just
sit and think about it, nothingin nature blooms year round, so

(01:04):
it's crazy to expect that wewill too.
I think the difference betweenpeople that are growing and
evolving and people that arekind of just staying in, I'm not
saying they're not creating anyforward momentum, but they kind
of stay in the same placespiritually.
They haven't really grown orevolved in that way, and it's

(01:26):
because they're so busy, likenose to the grindstone, in the
rat race, I guess you could say,and then one day they wake up
and realize that they're notactually happy or fulfilled with
anything that they're doing,even if they've achieved some
level of material success.
I think taking this pause andpeople that take the time to

(01:47):
evaluate and integrate things,even if that means slowing down
sometimes.
Trust me, it's hard.
Especially as someone who'salways focused on forward
momentum.
It's hard to take a littlepause.
It's hard to slow down, but whenwe take that time, we end up
being so much more efficient andso much more productive when we
do get back to what we weredoing.

(02:07):
We're so much more clear in ourgoals and have clarity around
our why's and things areactually way more authentic.
I recently reconnected withsomebody that I hadn't talked to
in a few months, and I could seeon both sides, how much we had
grown.
This person is superintelligent, like genius level

(02:30):
smart, but we're not all thebest at everything, and everyone
has different trauma anddifferent blocks.
We were having a conversationand they were sharing their
perspective and realizing somethings and it was stuff that I
had tried to explain and sharemy perspective on six months
prior to this conversation, andthey just couldn't see outside

(02:53):
of their own perspective at thetime, and now that they've had
time to pause and step away andreally integrate.
They're like, yeah, you wereright.
I see things clearly now it'sjust without that time and
space, this person wouldn't ofcame to these realizations.
Also in the time we had beenapart, I came to my own
realizations I think sometimesyou have to take a step back so

(03:16):
you can create that distance andremove that emotional lens.
It's difficult to see thingsclearly.
I think that's why sometimeswhen we're giving our friends
advice, we just see thesituation so clearly, or even if
we're watching a show and we'reengaging with the character in
the show and we're just like, ohmy God duh, and it's because
we're not in this situation,we're not as emotionally

(03:36):
involved or attached.
Distance and space is a magicalthing, like magical things
happen and this goes with workthis goes with romantic
relationships, platonicrelationships.
This goes with everything.
I feel like in every sense ofthe word, life over the last few
months has forced me to slowdown.
It's hard to see how far you'vecome and how much you have

(03:59):
grown, and it's not until youtake that step back where you
finally realize wow, I'veactually made so much progress.
Maybe I'm not where I want to beyet, and I think that's just a
part of life.
Especially someone who is alwaystrying to become a better
version of themselves.
It's important to be gratefuland also take time to champion

(04:21):
and celebrate yourself for howfar you've come, and I need to
do more of that but it's hardwhen you're always chasing your
goals to be happy where you'reat and live in the present.
I think that also has to do withsome of my attachment style,
being more like an anxiouslyattached or anxious person.
I think just living in thefuture sometimes or thinking

(04:42):
about the future so much, it'sjust like an anxious personality
trait that I'm healing and I'mworking on.
Over the last literally the lastSeptember, October, November,
December four months, I justfeel like my life took a
nosedive, I guess you could saylike everything just started to
go to shit and I think it was toforce me to slow down and pause

(05:06):
and to reevaluate some thingslike with my friendships, with
my relationship, with myself andmy career goals, and just get me
back on track.
I was pursuing so many differentthings, thinking that it was
going to get me where I want togo, instead of just pursuing the
thing that I wanted to do, and Ithink a lot of that is fear

(05:29):
based and doubt based.
I think it's a lot easier for mepersonally, someone who's always
been an entertainer and innightlife or playing a character
or something that's always justseemed easier and safer to be
that than to be myself and bevulnerable and believe in
myself.
I feel like it all comes back tothat theme, always.

(05:51):
If we just believe it ourselves,we don't need to do X, Y, Z in
order to get to A.We could justdo A and believe that what we
want is something that we'reworthy of and that's why we're
going to have the success.
If we really believe this is oursoul's mission in this life
cycle, if we really trulybelieve that, then yeah it's
going to get where it needs togo, because that is my purpose.

(06:13):
I don't need to do all theseother things.
I was pursuing different aspectsof entertainment, pursuing
modeling and potentially actingand all these things, thinking I
needed to get exposure that wayin order to promote my brand and
my podcast.
I understand that logic, but atthe same time it's like why
don't we just put all of ourenergy into the podcast and the

(06:36):
brand and what we actually wantto create and the message, and
just believe that content, thatmessage is valuable enough that
it's going to get the tractionit's going to get to the people
that need to hear it, and it'sgoing to be successful.
I don't need to do all theseother things and have success
and these other things to buildthe platform to then do my art,
like I could just do my art andthat's going to be the thing,

(06:59):
that's going to be enough, andI'm not saying I don't want to
pursue these other things, likemodeling or acting, or like
whatever.
I think as a creator a lot ofthat stuff is just going to end
up being an extension of mycreative journey, but my soul's
mission is to help people healby sharing my stories and using
my voice.
It's taken me years and so muchtrial and error and so many

(07:22):
different modalities, differentthings I've used to figure out
that this is what I want to do.
So many things that I realize Idon't want to do to get here and
it's like, let's do it, we knowthis is what we want to do, we
know this is what we're meant todo.
Let's just do it.
Let's go for it.
We don't need to spreadourselves so thin doing so many
other things, because we thinkthat we need to do all these
other things in order to dothis.

(07:44):
Let's just do this and let'sjust believe in ourselves and
believe that me as Madeline andmy voice and my message is
important and valuable enoughthat it's going to succeed.
I just feel like everythingalways comes back to believing
yourself and being seen liketruly.
It's so much easier for me to behot, or be a model, or be a
character, or be whatever.

(08:05):
It's almost like a mask it's somuch easier to wear that mask.
I'm comfortable, I'm used to it,I'm used to entertaining.
I'm used to being a performer.
I'm used to all these things,but this is new for me, this is
a new era and a new chapter.
At the same time, anytime I'veever pushed through fear and
done something that I was scaredto do, and understand like, you
know, you have hesitation orresistance to something because

(08:28):
it doesn't feel authentic, butif you have hesitation or
resistance is something becauseyou're scared, that's when you
need to push through, and everytime I've done that, every
single time I always bring forthso much abundance, and I'm just
like, why didn't I do thisearlier?
This worked out so well for me,What did I have to be afraid of?
I don't know if everybodybelieves in reincarnation or

(08:48):
whatever, I'm pretty spiritualand not everyone has to be as
woo, whatever you believe in.
I personally believe in pastlives.
I believe this is not my soulsfirst lifetime.
I think there's different soullevels.
There's younger souls thathaven't been reincarnated as
many times, or maybe this istheir first lifetime and the
lessons that they are here tolearn are different than some of

(09:11):
the themes that I've had to dealwith in my life.
They just seem like higher leveltypes of things, and I think
too, that's why we attractcertain people in our lives,
different souls, like differentpeople, like higher soul levels
seem to find each other andrelate, and it's almost like
we're not in the matrix or wesee life differently and it's
just interesting.
Anyways, I'm getting off on atangent.

(09:33):
I don't think this is my lastlifetime.
I have a lot figured out but Idon't have it all figured out.
I know I'm here in this lifetimeto do a lot, but I'll probably
come back.
I probably won't get it all donethis lifetime.
My soul definitely has some moreto learn and I don't know.
We'll see, maybe in a few yearsI'll have a different opinion I
think I'm definitely a highersoul level and maybe like a soul
level seven soul level eight Idon't know, but either way when

(09:55):
I do come back I'm never goingto come back as me.
I'm never going to be Madeline.
I'm never going to look likethis.
I'm never going to have thisskin suit.
I'm never going to have thisbrain.
I'm never going to have thissame level of creativity.
The creator, God, the universe,whatever gave me this specific
skin suit and this specificbrain and the specific level of

(10:16):
creativity, these specific goalsfor a reason, and not believing
in yourself or surroundingyourself with the wrong people
that don't encourage you don'tlight you up.
It's just crazy to let thosethings keep you from achieving
your goals and keep you fromachieving your soul's mission in
this lifetime.
We don't get this opportunityagain.
We don't get this time back.
Time is the most precious thingyou can give anyone including

(10:39):
yourself.
You owe it to yourself and youalso owe it to the people that
you're here to help to stayfocused and to fulfill your
soul's mission and to achieveyour goals, it's not even just
about yourself.
I never want to look back and belike, oh, I had so many goals
and so much I wanted to achieve,and I was scared and I just

(11:01):
didn't believe in myself.
I was on a podcast recently as aguest and he asked me, he's like
what's one thing you would tellyour younger self, what's one
piece of advice you'd tell youryounger self, and I was like to
believe in myself I think I'mstill telling myself to believe
in mine, like it's every day,which is crazy.
I feel like I need to share thisbecause I feel like sometimes

(11:22):
people look at me and they'relike, oh, she doesn't have any
confidence problems, or anytrouble believing in herself,
but I think just the way I grewup and for a long time, the
types of people I was friendswith and the people I was
surrounded with they didn't makeme feel good.
It didn't make me feelsupported, or make me feel
confident.
There's definitely somechildhood trauma there, I didn't

(11:42):
always feel the most supportedor seen.
Something that I struggle withis discerning between working
towards supporting my futureself and doing things for my
future self and also realizingwhen my body needs rest and when
we need to take a break.

(12:04):
I have a lot of shadow aroundthe word lazy, and I think that
comes from childhood.
I had someone in my life thatfor example, they would be like
oh, Madeline is so lazy if shehad to work to breathe, she
would stop breathing.
Like what?
How can you say that to a child?

(12:24):
I think it came from anemotionally immature individual
who saw things that came easy tome as a child.
I had a really natural athleticability.
I had a lot of naturalabilities, like innate abilities
and there was more than oneadult in my life when I was a
young child that made theminsecure, and as a child, you

(12:46):
just don't understand how you asa child can make an adult feel
threatened or insecure.
It's crazy, and also to theresponse of that adult to then
make the child feel bad and putthe child down.
How can you put down a childbecause you feel threatened or
inferior to that child becauseof their own natural gifts and

(13:08):
ability.
Wouldn't you want to supportthat and nurture that God given
natural talent and ability andjust be like, oh my gosh, you
are a star.
this child has this ability likethey are a star, I'm going to
nurture this and watch themblossom and support them.
I think it's hard becausechildren can't really understand
these concepts.
They can't understand theconcept of emotional immaturity

(13:29):
as an adult because you seeadults, like they know
everything.
they are these perfect, completepeople almost like superhuman,
you look at adults like they'vegot it all figure it out and
then you become an adultyourself and you're like, nah
that ain't how it works.
They don't have it figured out,and they make mistakes.
I also think it's a generationalthing.
The level of consciousness wehave as a collective now and the

(13:50):
level of consciousness ourparents, grandparents, whatever
had, I don't know if it's thesame level.
I don't want to speak for everyperson.
I don't speak for a generation.
I just think that the world is alot different now.
I don't think it's their fault.
I think it's more sociallyacceptable for us to look more
inward and to be more selfishand to take the time.

(14:13):
I think it's more culturallysupported to take the time to
learn and understand ourselvesbetter, and interpersonal
relationships, and differentmodalities to understand them.
I got really into astrology.
I think human design is reallycool, gene keys.
There's tons of differentmodalities that I've looked
into.
I'm not an expert on anything byany means.

(14:33):
That's helped me understandmyself better, and I don't know
if that was really supported.
I don't think a lot of previousgenerations had the luxury of
time to learn about those thingsand invest in those types of
things.
For example, your parents werein survival mode, they were the
first ones in their family to goto college, or the first ones in
their family to get out of thatbad situation and change their

(14:55):
life.
That was their mission and theirgoal, and I've learned this too,
that our children are alwaysgoing to be an older soul level
or a higher soul level than ourparents they're always going to
be more enlightened.
I've also heard too, that we, assouls choose our parents.
We choose the portals that wecome through.
We choose the life we have, andthe path the life lessons,

(15:18):
because that is the path and thejourney that is going to teach
us the lessons that we need tointegrate in order to be the
person that we are meant to beand be able to do the work that
we're meant to do in thislifetime.
Maybe our parents or ourgrandparents, their mission,
their life was survival, roofover your head these lower level

(15:41):
things like you know, building afamily, being in a safe
environment, being educated.
getting away from a badsituation.
They don't have time to work ontheir soul as much when they're
trying to fix their physicalworld.
I never want to take that forgranted.
I grew up very blessed in a homethat was safe and my parents did

(16:01):
a lot to make sure that we hadwhat we needed.
I didn't have to worry about thethings that they had to worry
about.
I have the luxury to be able towork on my soul and work on
other things that they nevereven got to think about.
I never want to think bad aboutother people in my life, like
relatives, whatever or thinkthat they're bad people, it was

(16:24):
just different circumstances.
A lot of times our parents,people in our life, caretakers
grandparents, relatives, oldergenerations, they did the best
they could with the tools thatthey had, and it's great that we
have different tools now, andalso it comes with a different
level of responsibility.
we're given so much to start outwith, so we have to do so much

(16:48):
more with it.
The future generations, we cameto clean up this certain mass
and what we're doing now isgoing to seem so primitive
compared to the things that theyare working through and the
things that they are healing asa collective.
I feel like these huge, bigworld themes are going to be the
things that they work out andthey heal, but everybody had

(17:10):
their role, and again, if Ihadn't been cooped up at home
the last few months forced toreally think about stuff and
integrate stuff, I would havejust kept going forward, and I
think forward momentum is goodalways working towards the goal
is good, but if you don't taketime to pause and reevaluate and
think, hey is this really whatI'm passionate about is this
really the path that I should betaking, is this the best vehicle

(17:32):
to get me where I want to go,and like I said, if we don't
take the time to pause.
The universe will for us andit's not always going to be at
the most convenient time.
I think divine timing iseverything and it's the end of
the year, which is already a bigtime of reflection, but
literally the last four months,it was like one health issue
after the next.
I got a concussion and then Ihad an exposure to one of my

(17:55):
biggest triggers that aggravatedmy auto-immune disease and
triggered all these thyroidsymptoms.
I was having gut issues forliterally two months.
I had to get on a new gutprotocol to try to fix my gut
and that led to other issues alot of your immune system is in
your gut and is connected toyour gut, so if you have some
dysbiosis going on, your immunesystem is going to be really

(18:16):
weak.
The seasons are changing.
There's just everyday stressors,so then I literally had flu like
symptoms for three weeks.
I could barely speak.
The irony.
It always goes back to my throatchakra and my voice.
That's like always a theme, andyeah, I had flu like symptoms.
I barely had a voice for threeweeks.
I just could not kick this fluwhatever, and then, because my

(18:40):
immune system is already downfrom having this flu or whatever
I got a little cut on my leg andwithin two days, it got infected
and it spread to my knee.
I got septic arthritis in myknee.
For those of you don't know,it's basically staph infection
that moves to the fluid aroundyour joints.
For anyone that doesn't knowthat, nobody knows this I saw

(19:01):
something I shared, but I forwhatever reason, I'm just really
freaked out by knees and joint,like ankles, like joins, just
freak me out.
I don't know, so it was superscary within literally two,
three days I just had thislittle cut on my leg, on my
lower leg and then literally myknee was so swollen.
I could barely walk.
I could barely bend my knee.
It was the size of a softballand it was so hot and red to the

(19:26):
touch.
I was like, okay I'm like onchat GPT oh, should I go to the
doctor?
You know, I try to like thug itout.
Sometimes I'm so tough and Ihate taking medicine.
I hate taking antibiotics if Idon't have to, also just had
these gut issues and I'm like ifI take antibiotics then my guts
going to be messed up again.
it's just thank God I did,because it could have spread
through my bloodstream and Icould have got sepsis and died.

(19:46):
That's so insane.
What?
Go to the doctor.
So yes, I went to the doctor,they put me on antibiotics and
were like we're so glad you camewhen you did this could have got
really bad, and I'm like, yeah.
I'm glad I came when I did too.
I'm at the point where I'm veryin tune with my body now after
having an auto-immune diseaseand being sick always being a
dancer when I was younger and anathlete.
I've always just been very intune with my body, and I think

(20:08):
also just like trusting yourselfand trusting your intuition.
If you feel like something iswrong in your body, It probably
is.
There's probably somethingwrong.
Even before, when I was sick,when I was going misdiagnosed
and I went the conventionalmedicine route and doctors
didn't really know I wasmisdiagnosed, they made me feel
that I was fine.
I was okay.
It was like in my head,gaslighting me, which I think is

(20:30):
very common, especially forwomen, unfortunately, and it's
just no, trust your intuition.
If you feel like something iswrong, it probably is.
If you feel like you're sick, ifyou feel like there's a problem,
there probably is.
Keep pursuing it until you getanswers until you feel
satisfied.
That is just my one message.
I know that kind of was a littletangent.
I went off there, but that'ssomething I'm very passionate
about and also something I needto remind myself when I'm trying

(20:51):
to thug get out.
we don't need to thug this out.
We can barely walk.
We need to go to the doctor andfigure this out.
Again, me trying to be so tough,miss independent, nonstop go,
what do you have to prove?
Because someone calls you lazywhen you're seven, relax.
You're not lazy.
You have nothing to prove toanybody and I'm trying to prove
all this stuff to myself.
I don't know.

(21:12):
We're always learning, alwaysintegrating.
Anyways, I'm okay now I'm fine.
I literally was joking to myfriends.
I was like, I feel like my curseis lifted.
I feel like the last few months,I've just been stuck at home,
sick with some kind of ailmentand I just was like, why is this
happening?
Like, why?
I just felt stuff with like workwas not working out the way I

(21:32):
had thought I would, or businesspartnerships weren't working out
and it was just forcing me tosay home and be like, okay what
is this illness, what is thissickness trying to teach me?
What is happening right now?
I don't understand.
Nothing happens just becauseespecially the universe making
you stay at home for a fewmonths because you're sick and
it's like, okay, I'm beingforced to stay home.

(21:54):
I literally can't go work.
I can't do these things.
I can't model, I can't walk, Ican't use my physical exterior,
whatever for my livelihood.
Why is this happening to me?
What was I doing?
I feel like I was trying topursue all these other things
instead of what I actually wasmeant to be pursuing.
I'm stuck at home.

(22:14):
I haven't made a new episode.
I haven't worked on my content.
I haven't worked on my podcast.
I haven't done this in months.
I haven't refocused, realigned,because I'm doing all these
other things, and the universeliterally forced me to stay at
home, integrate these lessons,and I also think there were some
things that I have been pushingdown because I was just work,
work, work, work, or going outwith friends, like whatever.

(22:37):
there were things that I neededto heal and integrate, and I was
forced to.
Now that I was like okayuniverse, I'm listening.
I start getting back to makingcontent, getting back to the
podcast.
I think too, I felt reallyashamed because I had been
talking about making a podcastfor so long.

(22:58):
It's something that I wanted todo for so long.
It started as a blog and then Iwas going to do a book and all
these things and I still want todo a book, and I think that's
also just how success works andhow things work.
You try something, it fails, youtry something, it doesn't work
out.
it just evolves until what it'ssupposed to be and I know one
day this podcast is going to becompletely different from what
it is now, but it's just you gotto start and let it go.

(23:19):
I stopped it for a while becauselife was lifeing and I took a
break and then I was ashamedthat couldn't get back to it,
and it forced me to be likeokay, what wasn't working.
I kinda felt it wasn't asauthentic as it needed to be,
and having that space awayallowed me to think about
rebranding and think about thedirection I wanted to take it,

(23:43):
the things I wanted to talkabout.
Also in that time, I was doingso many other things that I feel
like I needed to do for myselfin order to heal and in order to
become more confident and becomea better version of myself for
what I want to do.
You don't realize how far you'vecome until you have that time to

(24:04):
take a pause, It's easy to behard on ourselves, especially
when we don't feel like we'rewhere we're supposed to be,
where we want to be, or we havesome perfectionistic tendencies,
like nothing's ever going to beas good as we want it or where
we want it.
A year ago, I didn't even liketo take pictures of myself or
post pictures of myself onsocial media.
I didn't feel confident enoughto do that.
I wasn't around the right groupof friends.
I didn't want them to think Iwas like oh look at me, but

(24:27):
again, not my friends, but it'sjust like to go from that to
literally in this past year, Iopened a fashion show for a
celebrity designer wearing herbikini, while they're
performing.
Like what, how is that even thesame person and now I have this
podcast I'm creating content andhopefully in the near future, I
can just do this full time and Ican just fully dive into this

(24:49):
and pursue this.
I feel like I was trying topursue so many other things,
thinking I needed to do thatfirst in order to do this.
And it's just No?
If I could grow that much in ayear, that's crazy.
Imagine where I'm going to be ata year from now.
Let's just sit and celebrateourselves a little bit and be
like, wow okay it's so importantto acknowledge that kind of
stuff because I'm sure people,see the way I post now and then

(25:12):
see the way I show up now, andthey think oh, she's always been
this way.
She's always been confident.
She's always been beautiful.
She's always been blah, blah,blah, blah, blah, but beauty is
manufactured.
Beauty comes from the inside.
Confidence is manufactured.
It comes from the inside andit's not something that, I
always had maybe I think I didactually.
When I was younger, I always hadthis confidence, I always had

(25:33):
this innate natural ability thatwas comedic, that was
performative, that wasentertaining.
I think a lot of times whenpeople talk about, being their
highest selves as adults.
It's really just getting back toyour inner child and what you
enjoyed as a child and what lityou up as a child.
That is your authentic self,before all of the pain, shame,

(25:54):
programming and conditioning.
When I was little, all I wantedto do was perform like me and my
sister, we would make my littlebrother do it too, and me and my
friends, when I was little, allwe would do is put on
performances.
We would dress up.
We would put on concerts for ourparents, for our friends, we
would make up dances, dochoreography, always performing.
That's all we wanted to do.

(26:15):
It's so fun, of course, as anadult that's what I should be
doing.
Now, not me being like oh, Idon't want to be on the stage.
I don't want to perform.
I was so comfortable andconfident with it when I was
younger and then now to be like,oh I don't need to be in front
of the camera or the star, likeanything.
I'm not saying I'm a star, likeI'm a star, but it's just like

(26:37):
that's something that I'vealways enjoyed.
I think for a long time too, Ithought maybe I wanted to be a
coach or a teacher or something.
A year ago around this time Iwas pursuing a tantric sex, love
and relationship coachingcertification, which you know,
super cool.
I still really feel aligned witha lot of the tantric teachings

(26:57):
and it's something that's superinteresting to me, but I don't
think tantra is something that Iwant to be an expert in, or I
want my whole brand to revolvearound.
It took me a little time tofigure that out, and also I
don't think being a coach or ateacher is authentic to me.
I'm an entertainer and I thinkentertaining people is more

(27:19):
aligned.
You can still reach the sameamount of people and help people
heal the same and you don't haveto be a coach or a teacher.
I don't think I'm ever going tohave clients.
I don't even want clients.
I want to have friends andconnections and help people that
way.
I can reach people that way.
I don't need to have clients andI don't know, maybe that's just
me, being a creative person, aPisces, that just seems so much

(27:42):
more aligned, but again, it tookme a lot of trial and error and
a lot of time to figure this outand integrate this, and also
taking this time to pause andstop and realizing why I had
resistance to some things.
Why things weren't working out,why I couldn't find the time or
why certain businessrelationships weren't working
out or whatever.

(28:03):
Whenever you're feeling a lot ofresistance to something, take a
closer look at it because maybeit's not working out because
it's not supposed to, like howthey say, when you're holding
onto something so tight, and itjust doesn't work.
It's like, let go.
Let go and see what sticksSometimes it can be really
frustrating when it feels likeeverything is wrong.
Your health is going to shit.

(28:23):
Business relationships are goingto shit.
Something that you thought youwanted to pursue isn't working
out and it's just like, why iseverything falling apart?
I hate that feeling, it sucks.
I feel like 2024 was a lot oflessons.
It was about learning, like inmy relationships, with my
friends, with businesspartnerships, with my career.
I have grown more this yearalone than I have in the past

(28:48):
few.
If I look at my life compared toa year ago, unrecognizable.
Completely different friendgroup, completely different
career path, like everything isjust completely different.
I even look different, like aglow up, it's crazy, and it's
literally the universe, andthere's so many other creators
that talk about this when you'reuncomfortable and things start

(29:11):
to fall apart and crumble.
It's to make space for the new.
It's like cleaning out yourcloset because your closet is
full of clothes that don't fityou anymore.
They're not your style, and it'sif you don't go through it, you
don't get rid of it, there's noroom for new clothes.
There's no room for newopportunities.
There's no room for clothes thatfit you better, a life that fits

(29:31):
you better.
Certain relationships have tofall away.
Certain friends have to fallaway, certain business
partnerships have to fall away,certain careers have to fall
away, resources have to dry up,sometimes you have to deal with
a sickness, an illness, and it'sbecause what you're asking for
it's coming, but you need to letgo of what you already have and

(29:52):
just have faith and trust thatthe universe is going to catch
you and that you're divinelyprotected, and that everything
you're asking for and that youwant is coming.
I feel like too, as maybe moreof a controlling personality,
it's hard sometimes to let goand let go of that control, and
I think a lot of that stems fromagain, like childhood.

(30:14):
I didn't have a lot of stabilitygrowing up.
My family moved around a lot,and so I think now I have maybe
some control issues.
I like feel the need to controlthings all the time, whether
that in my life or myrelationships, and that's
something that I'm working onhealing, but being in flow and
being in your feminine energy,that is when things come to us.
That is when opportunities,people, abundance, flows to us

(30:38):
and through us, and rememberingthat is so important.
It's so hard sometimes, andsometimes when things are just
not working out and you're beingmet with resistance, things are
crumbling and it's frustrating,and it's just like surrender.
I think at a certain point youjust have to surrender because
you just can't do it anymore.
You just are like, all right,life's canceled.
I give up.
Universe, whatever plan I hadfor myself.

(31:00):
Whatever I thought I needed todo like, you know, better.
Sometimes we can have this planfor ourselves and the universe
has a better one.
God has a better one.
It's hard, trust me.
It's so hard especially, whenyou're working so hard and you
just feel like you can't catch abreak.
This has happened to me before,and I had to sit and remind
myself of this time in my life.

(31:22):
This was a few years ago, when Ifirst realized I was getting
sick.
I was sick most of my twenties,pretty much my whole twenties I
was sick.
I had an illness before I evenknew I was sick.
I just didn't know what wasgoing on.
My symptoms were super vague,but this was when it got to its
worst and my disease actuallystarted to manifest.
I had a trigger that just seteverything in motion, and right

(31:43):
before that I felt like I justcouldn't catch a break.
Then literally this magicalperson came into my life and it
just changed the trajectory ofmy whole entire life, and things
started to make sense.
Why everything is happening, andI just had to remind myself that
the universe tests us the mostright before our biggest

(32:05):
manifestations come through.
Like before, when I was like, Ijust don't feel like I can catch
a break.
I remember I was talking to mysister and she's," I just feel
like you can't catch a break,"and I'm just like, period, what
is happening?
I think I felt that over thepast few months recently, and
it's even hard to talk aboutbecause it's emotional, it
sucks.
No one wants to talk about whenthings feel shitty and things
aren't working out and you feelsick and you're just like, I've

(32:28):
been working so hard, taking somuch aligned action.
Why aren't things working out?
The universe sees that and seeshow hard you're working, but
maybe what you were workingtowards and what you're reaching
for is not what is meant foryou.
There's something so much bettermeant for you and that stuff
isn't working out, but somethingelse is.
The action you're taking isleading you towards something
that you haven't even realizedfor yourself, and it's going to

(32:52):
be so much more amazing.
You just need to trust and letgo.
I'm starting to get my mojoback.
One of my business relationshipstook a different direction, but
then a new opportunity poppedup, and another opportunity
popped up and I'm starting tomake new connections.
Literally just the other week Iwas like, what I'm doing feels
so much more aligned anddifferent parts of my career are
aligning with each other andhelping each other and

(33:12):
supporting each other, and Ididn't have that before.
This crumbled away, I wasmeeting so much resistance for
this and it's because somethingbetter was coming along and I
just needed to let go.
Just let go and trust andanytime I do this, the universe
really doesn't leave me hanging.
I am divinely protected andhighly favored.

(33:34):
Thank you, and literally withinlike days, weeks, the universe
will deliver.
Every single time never fails.
Literally this time last year Iwas like okay, I'm going to make
a change.
I'm going to do something that Ihaven't done in a long time, and
I'm just going to trust theuniverse, it's in your hands and

(33:55):
literally within weeks itbrought me a new opportunity,
and again though, if you are sogo, you're not sitting there
remembering you're patterning.
You're not remembering, you'renot thinking about, things that
have happened before.
They say if you don't rememberthe past and integrate the past,
you're destined and doomed tomake the same mistakes and do
the same in the future, and Ithink that's why my life kept

(34:18):
going in the same direction forso long because I was doing
things the same way.
I wasn't sitting and taking apause and thinking, okay why am
I being met with resistance?
Why are things going the waythey're going?
What is the universe trying toteach me?
What am I supposed to be doing?
Because we're supposed to be inflow, especially as females, in
our feminine energy.

(34:39):
There's a time and place to bein your masculine energy, of
course, and I think part of thefemale experience is navigating
that.
Our lesson as women is tounderstand how to feel pleasure,
be in flow, and be comfortablewith receiving, and be open and
just be deserving.

(34:59):
It's so hard, I know.
I don't know why, like, why isthis so hard?
Like, why do we feel like wehave to hold on so tight and
work so hard?
I feel like that was justconditioning and culture and I
don't know but it's somethingthat we, as a collective need to
heal me personally, need toheal.
Now that I'm on the other sideof all this struggle.
I'm like, okay I see now I seeit.

(35:20):
It makes sense to me, and also Ithink sometimes you don't see
how much you've grown or howmuch you've changed until you go
back to old friendships, oldrelationships, old dynamics that
don't really fit anymore.
You see people more clearly forwhere they're at or, maybe

(35:42):
you're seeing where you used tobe at, or sometimes you see that
people have grown, but they'restill not quite where you need
them to be, or on your level.
I don't mean aren't on yourlevel materialistically, I mean
like spiritually, energetically.
I recently went to dinner withan old friend that I hadn't seen
in awhile, and it was nice, itwas nice to catch up.

(36:03):
I had a little bit of resistancebefore we met up and I probably
should have again, listened tomy intuition and my gut and
remember if it's not a hell yes,it's a no, but it's okay.
It's okay to run into the fire,and I thought maybe I was just
being judgemental or whatever,and also we hadn't seen each

(36:23):
other in a while, they're theone that reached out to me and I
don't know, I didn't want to beclosed off, and so I was like,
okay we'll meet up.
It's interesting, always payattention to how you feel after
you're with somebody.
Somebody that used to light meup so much, I felt drained after
I felt exhausted and I thinkthat's because I realized they
didn't really have anything elseto offer me.
We just hadn't grown together.

(36:44):
I feel like they were still inthe same place I left them and
that's okay, but we didn't needto continue this friendship and
this relationship, and I'm notsaying that relationships need
to be transactional, theyshouldn't be, but we should be
helping each other grow in someway.
We don't need to be the best atthe same thing, maybe these are
my strengths, these are yourstrengths.
We help each other grow.
We fulfill each other, we filleach other's cup up, and also

(37:06):
too, again trusting myintuition.
It felt calculated.
I feel like this person saw meand my life and things moving a
certain way for me, and then allof a sudden they were interested
in seeing me again.
We haven't spoken in months, Idon't know.
So again, trust your intuitionand realize that someone that
might've been important to youor a big part of your life at

(37:29):
one time maybe isn't alignedwith you anymore, or they're not
a fit for you anymore, orthey're just not growing as
quickly as you are.
Sometimes I get down about thisa little bit.
I don't have a lot of friendsfrom when I was really young and
part of that was from movingaround a lot as a kid, but I
feel like I'm always evolvingand changing and growing so

(37:51):
rapidly.
I literally joke I've been likereborn 10 times this year.
That's why I don't really haveany tattoos, like the person I
was even, it could be like aweek ago could be a completely
different person than now I'malways growing and integrating
and some years I growexponentially more than others,
so the friendships and thepeople that I engaged with five

(38:12):
years ago, four years ago, sixyears ago, 10 years ago, they
don't even know the person thatI am now.
We have nothing in common andthat's okay, and I don't need to
feel bad about that.
That's why it's so much morespecial too when I do have
friendships that have lasted thetest of time, but it's okay to,
if they don't, and it's alsookay to have different levels of
friendship.
It's okay to have some peoplethat you come to for this, or

(38:34):
some people you come to forthis, and I think that's also a
part of adult relationships andadult friendships.
I'm doing a lot right now.
I am in a selfish point in mylife.
I'm trying to build my brand.
I'm trying to build my podcast.
It's not even just about my ego,it's moving from a place of
service.
I know that what I have to talkabout and what I have to share
is going to help other peopleheal and it's stuff that I wish
I knew earlier, but it's okay,and so I have to put this work

(38:58):
out there because if I don't,people aren't going to get it.
People aren't gonna receive it.
The people that I could havehelped are not going to be
reached.
It's almost selfish of me to notbe laser focused on my goals and
my mission, and if I havefriends that I don't see as
often, or I don't have as muchtime for, and I'm not saying you
can just stop investing in yourfriendships.

(39:19):
You can't because that's notokay.
It's important to invest in yourfriendships and maintain those
friendships, and let people knowyou love them and care about
them and show up for people, butif my friends don't understand
what I'm trying to achieve, thenit's not going to be a
friendship that I'm going to beable to maintain.
All my friends in my life now,we're all doing shit.
We all have goals.
My greatest contribution tosociety is not going to be who I

(39:43):
married or who I chose to havechildren with.
I'm sorry, that's no shade toanybody.
If that's your goal, that's allyou want to do, all you care
about, that's cool.
You do you booboo, but for me, Ido want to have a family, I do
want to get married, but I'mnever going to feel fulfilled
fully by that alone.
I'm going to feel fulfilled byachieving my goals and achieving

(40:04):
what I think my soul's missionis in this lifetime, and also
that's the example I want to setfor my family and my partner.
I want to inspire my partner andvice-versa, and I want to
inspire my children.
I don't know that's just methough.
That's just me.
Another person that Ireconnected with recently, we
hadn't spoken for a few months.
It was different, in comparingthe two situations, and one
person I hadn't seen in a fewmonths, another person I hadn't

(40:25):
seen few months, and I actuallycould see the growth that this
person had.
The time we separated, weactually both grew a lot, things
that we had discussed, thingsthat we had talked about, where
they had a very rigidtrauma-based, unhealed, moving
from a place of woundingperspective.
They have a lot more clarity andthey see things a lot

(40:47):
differently now, and having areally conscious conversation
was actually really nice andreally healing for myself and
also really validating.
I was like, yeah, you see it,you understand, you get it now.
You get the person I was alwaystrying to be, you get what I was
doing before.
We see each other more clearlynow.
I feel like when people areoperating out of a place of
pain, they're so foggy andthey're so blinded by their own

(41:12):
wounds they can't see thingsclearly, so the fact that this
person had healed so much.
I don't want to soundcondescending, and be like I was
so proud of them, but like I amI am so proud of them because
the way I see them always hasbeen as this amazing person,
like under all this trauma andwounding, and then for them to
now start to see that themselvesI'm just like, yeah this is the
person I always knew you couldbe, and I don't think that

(41:34):
they're fully there yet, butthey're on their way.
It was healing and validatingfor me too because I was so
upset for so long about thisperson, the way things were
between us, our dynamic, the waythey treated me, the way they
responded, and it's just like, Ifinally realized, I never needed
to be that upset because theperson they were at that time

(41:58):
was not the person that Ineeded.
It wasn't the person that theyare now, it's not the person
that they're going to be.
I always saw them as theirhighest self under everything,
but it's like the person thatmade those choices, the person
that was engaging with thepeople they were engaging, the
person that was tempted by thethings they were tempted by,

(42:20):
that's not the person that Ineed or I ever needed.
That's not the version of themthat they were.
All that too could have been, Iwas projecting what I saw and
what I wanted onto this personwhen they really weren't there
yet, they really weren't healed.
They hadn't really grown intothat version of themselves.
It's nice for both aspects.

(42:42):
I could see the growth that theyhave done, but I could also see
I never needed to be that upsidebecause they never were that
person, and that's okay.
Everyone's journey is different.
Things take people differentlevels of time.
It was nice to see the personthat I did see underneath all
that is in there, and I thinkthey could become that person
fully one day, but again, that'stheir journey and their timeline

(43:04):
is their timeline, and I thinkI'll always have a relationship
with this person.
I think we will always befriends.
We've always had a really strongconnection, and a really
important dynamic.
I'll always care about thisperson, but we can never go back
to what we were.
I think that goes for romanticrelationships, I think that goes
for platonic relationships, youcan't go back to a dynamic, you

(43:26):
can only go forward on a newtimeline.
I think that's always going tobe evolving and shifting, we're
still figuring out that dynamictogether, and detaching from the
outcome and detaching from whatI wanted it to be at what time,
what it is, what it's going tobe and just letting it be, like
surrender.
I feel like surrender in generalis one of the biggest themes

(43:47):
that I'm dealing with right now,and that I'm integrating right
now, and it's just like when Ido surrender and I am in flow,
everything I want, like betterthan I even could imagine just
comes to me in abundance.
I just need to remember that andtrust, like trust.
Especially if you're workingtowards being your highest self
and you're doing everything,you're taking the aligned
action.

(44:07):
You're healing, you're makinggood choices, just trust that
things are going to work outeven if you feel like everything
is crumbling and like you can'tcatch a break.
It's for a reason.
It's okay, why is this notworking?
Because it's not supposed to.
Timing is everything maybetimelines are gonna align later,
or a better opportunity is goingto come, and it's just trusting
that, just trusting in yourself,and the work that you put out

(44:29):
there and knowing that it'sgoing to come back to you
tenfold in a way that's betterthan you ever really could have
imagined.
In the time that I took a pausefrom the podcast, I feel was so
necessary because now it's somuch better.
My last episode I put out, Icould just hear in my voice how
much more confident I was infront of the camera.

(44:50):
How more clear and focused theepisode was, the actual content
in the episode was so muchbetter, and it's just like
without the time to integrateand to collect these skills that
were going to make me better,that never could have happened,
so instead of having shamearound why I needed to take a
pause, or why I needed to take abreak, or why I had to take a

(45:10):
step back, just accepting thatthings are the way they are for
a reason.
If something's not working out,it's probably not supposed to.
If you need to take a break fromsomething and set something down
because you're exhausted, youare overwhelmed, overworked, set
it down, let it go.
If a relationship isn't working,friendship isn't working let it
go.
You know, things you might pickback up, and there'll be better
than ever, people might goapart, grow into themselves,

(45:32):
come back, be better than ever.
It's just crazy, literally inevery aspect of my life, I've
just been forced again becausemy control issues, I've been
forced to put things down andlet them go and surrender, and
it's so much better.
I'm changing the branding.
I'm changing the aesthetic alittle bit of the podcast, and
it just feels so much moreauthentic.

(45:53):
I have clear goals and clearvisions I don't know if you guys
have heard about this trend, butI did it recently and I
literally cried.
I was so emotional.
I told so many people about it,literally telling me Uber driver
about it the other day.
All my friends and family, I'mlike, oh my God, you have to do
this.
I'm not like a huge trendperson.
I'm not, I like there's somethat I hop on others.

(46:13):
I think they're cool, but Ijust, I don't know.
I feel like I'm just like, sointo what I'm doing, like I
just.
I don't know, but it's the ChatGPT day in your dream life
trend.
You basically ask Chat GPT towrite out a day in your dream
life, and it's so crazy howaccurate mine was.

(46:36):
It was literally like Chat GPTwas looking at the inside of my
brain.
Like I've never even told anyoneany of this.
I've never even fully written itdown, which is why this exercise
is so great because it helpsgive you clarity and I am more
of a words person, I journal.
I have a podcast, like my lovelanguage is words of
affirmation.
Like words are my thing.

(46:57):
That's how I channel.
That's how I learn things.
When I was younger, I took alittle quiz, like we do in grade
school, and I'm an auditorylearner.
I remember everything I hear.
Some people are more visual thatmake vision boards and you just
see something like, I need tohear something.
That's why I like audio booksthat's why I like podcasts, if a
guy or anyone tells me anything,like I may not remember the day
or what they were wearing, whatthey look at, but I'll remember

(47:18):
what they said.
I'll always remember whatsomeone said.
One thing about me, I'll alwaysremember what you say.
It was nice because it gave meclarity on what I had in my
brain, like what I wanted, and Iwas able to see it written out,
and then I was able to actuallyturn the day in the life words
into a podcast, which was socool.

(47:39):
Basically you go on Chat GPT,and you tell them where you're
at now in your life, with yourrelationship, with your career,
your lifestyle, and you tellthem your goals, big high-level
goals, like dreams, like wheredo you want to live?
What kind of lifestyle do youwant?
What do you want the dynamic ofyour day to be like?
What do you want yourrelationship to be like?

(48:01):
What do you want your familylife to be like?
What do you want your career tolook like?
You say where you're at, you saywhere you want to be, and then
you basically asked them to comeback to you and ask high level
questions to get clarity.
Then when they're 95% sure theycan write this out and get it
right to give it back to you,and I asked them to do 1500

(48:21):
words, just so it's likein-depth enough.
It came back, asked me all thesehigh level questions to get
clarity, and then it came backwith this day in the life and it
broke it down from like mymorning to my afternoon, and it
integrated like my family life,my dynamic with my partner, my
dynamic with my career and whereI wanted to live.
Like it was so perfect.

(48:43):
I literally cried.
It was crazy.
I sent it to my siblings and acouple of my friends and I'm
just like, oh my God, you guyshave to do this.
It's crazy.
Then you can actually also takethat day in the life, and put it
into Google notebook, which isan AI, and you can turn it into
a podcast.
These AI voices literally talkabout your day in the life, and

(49:03):
they're talking about you on apodcast episode.
Hearing that, is so great formanifestation, especially if
you're into words like me, ifyou're more visual, I'm sure
there's other ways that you cando it, and then also you can go
back to Chat GPT after it givesyou this day in the life and
tell it to give you astep-by-step guide, like to go
from where you're at, to whereyou want to be and it'll break

(49:23):
it down in all the steps, andyou can go as detailed and as
precise as you want.
That is key because again, yesthis is nice, this day in the
life thing, but if you don'thave the steps and you're not
taking aligned action to getthere, it's still just a dream.
It's still just a day in yourdream life.
that's the thing, first you haveto get clarity.
That's how manifestation works.
You have to get clear.
You have to get clarity aroundwhat you want, because if you

(49:45):
don't even know what you want,how are you going to ask the
universe?
You should believe in yourselfbecause you wouldn't have these
visions for yourself.
You wouldn't have these goals ifthey weren't possible.
If there wasn't a version of youon another timeline that already
had them.
It's possible because in somedimension somewhere, you already
have achieved these things.
I truly do believe that, but inorder to get it in this

(50:06):
dimension, and this timeline,you have to be clear and you
have to be taking alignedaction.
We can't just sit back and hopeand dream because a plan without
action is just a dream.
Doing this step-by-step thing isso important.
An ex partner that I had, he wasa really big entrepreneur, and
one of the things he talkedabout was taking the steps and

(50:27):
breaking things down intomanageable steps.
He's like, this is why so manypeople fail.
They just get so overwhelmed andit's like, you just have to
break it down step by step, andthen when you do one thing you
go to the next step.
You don't try to break off somuch at one time or try to do so
much at one time because that'show you end up failing.
He's like, If you just want togo from point a to point B and
these are the steps to get thereand you just do one step at a

(50:49):
time, you will get there.
It's crazy that he drew outthese steps, like a staircase,
and I saw this reel recently onInstagram, my friend sent it to
me and made me cry.
I don't know, I'm such a crybaby, but whatever it's fine.
It was literally the bestrepresentation of life that I've
seen ever, like ever, I'm sureyou guys have seen it.

(51:10):
It was like a interactive art,like an art display.
I wish I could remember theartist, but basically it was a
guy on a staircase and there wasa trampoline under the staircase
and he was walking up thestairs, trying to get from the
bottom of the staircase to thetop of the staircase.
I don't know why I'm explainingthis to you guys, you know, how
staircases work, but anyways, hewould do a step and then he

(51:32):
would fall off of the staircaseonto the trampoline, and then he
had bounced back up onto thestaircase and he just kept doing
this over and over again, and hewould fall from different points
of the staircase and it's hejust like for so long, can never
get back to the top.
It was just interesting becausehe would always fall to a
different place in thestaircase.
He would fall backwards.
He would fall forward.

(51:52):
He would fall back again andthen he would get back up
further, and that's just howsuccess and how life works.
Whenever you listen to aninterview or read a memoir of a
successful person, there's somany similarities and their
journey is never just like easy,they just got there.
There's always struggle.
There's always back and forthand it's a mess.

(52:13):
Stuff didn't work out, andthings crumble things fall
apart.
They failed over and over again,a lot of the time failed, a lot,
and that's just part of thejourney.
Even on the art piece, heliterally got to the very top of
the staircase at one point andhe fell, so it's not like once
you get there, once you make ityou stay up there.
Oftentimes you fall, and thenyou get back up, and that's why

(52:37):
so many people at the top, thetop, they fall from grace, they
fall from success.
I've been very fortunate to knowa lot of really successful
people and be really close to alot of really successful people,
and they've opened up to meabout their own experience where
they had made it, they hadgotten to that level of success,
like multimillionaires,whatever, and they almost lost

(52:59):
everything or they did loseeverything and as heartbreaking
and earth-shattering is that canbe sometimes, they always ended
up building it back and beingbetter than ever before.
I feel like that's even moreinspiring.
To have it you worked so hard toget there, and then you fell and
you lost it all, or you almostlost at all, and then you grew

(53:19):
it back even bigger.
These people are even moresuccessful than they ever have
been, and it's because theydidn't give up on themselves.
It's because they didn't letthat fear engulf them.
This is happening to someone Iknow now, and I tell them that
story, I sent them this reel andI'm just like, you got this,
like you got this, and it'sstuff I need to remind myself
too.
It's hard, and that's whyfriendships and our circles are

(53:41):
so important because these arethe people that are going to get
you where you need to go.
They say Rome wasn't built in aday and it wasn't built alone,
and I think sometimes we forgetthat, especially as women or
just like as very independentpeople we're like, I got it like
I got this, I can do it, butit's just like everybody needs
help sometimes, everybody needsmentors, everybody needs

(54:01):
support.
People that are more successfulthan me still come to me for
advice and still come to me forguidance or whatever, and that's
one thing that I love to maybesomeone is more successful than
me in like business or whatever,but I am more spiritually
successful There's differentqualities and traits that people
have and we help each other.
No one is the expert or amazingat everything.

(54:22):
There's things that I don'tunderstand that I need help
with, that I need to work on.
There's things that other peopledon't understand, and also too,
we all have had differentrelationships, different
dynamics, learned differentlessons and know different
people, ran in differentcircles, have a different
network, and so sharing otherpeople's stories can be
inspiring.
Life has just been lifeing, andI think one of the main things

(54:43):
is whenever life gets like that,it's okay if you need to take a
break and it's okay to feeloverwhelmed and it's okay to
crumble a little bit, it'snormal, but then think what is
the universe trying to teach meright now?
Things aren't working out, why?
I'm being met with resistance,why?

(55:05):
Remember what your goals are andget clear on your goals, and if
what you're working towards isnot in alignment with that, or
it's a roundabout way to getthere, think maybe I don't need
to be doing all this.
Maybe these other things aren'tworking out because I don't need
to do them, like if it's noteven what I really want to do,
stop all that.
Just stop.
If it's a roundabout way ofgetting to your goal and maybe

(55:27):
it's not working out, maybethere's a better path, a more
direct path, and the universe istrying to show you, and you're
making things harder than theyneed to be.
So I think just surrender,believing in yourself, and just
trusting the universe andtrusting in yourself and that
everything's going to work outprobably better than you could
have imagined.

(55:47):
Checking in with yourself andbeing like okay, is this
aligning, is this friendshipaligning?
Is this relationship aligning?
Is this career opportunityaligning?
I think it's also okay if thingschange, maybe at one point it
was, or you're getting somebenefit, and I think just being
more conscious is the key.
Anyways, I hope that thisepisode helped you guys.

(56:09):
It's definitely stuff I'm stillintegrating, and I try to make
these episodes as authentic asthey can be.
it's still stuff I'm working on.
I just feel like I'm finally onthe other side, or starting to
be on the other side and thingsare coming to fruition after all
these pain points and all thisstuff I was struggling with for
so long, and I'm finallyunderstanding and integrating

(56:29):
these lessons and like why'd hadto be this way, so I hope this
was helpful.
If you guys liked this episode,please comment like, and
subscribe, rate it five stars.
It really does help me.
I want this episode to be ableto reach the right people and
the more people you share to themore you like it, the more other
people will be able to see itand the more people I'll be able

(56:51):
to heal.
It really does mean a lot to me,and I'll see you guys next time.
Okay, bye.
Love you.

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